Original subtitles

- Previously on "Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,"

I totally fought a robot, and a bear, too.

We got attacked by Bishop and her Mechazoids,

and I got separated from my family.

Even worse, I got stuck with Bishop's intern, Rod,

whose dad can call off the robots and save my brothers.

In exchange, he wants to get turned into a mutant

because he's legit crazy.

Anyway, I accidentally turned a pigeon

into a mutant instead. These things happen.

Long story short, I beat the Mechazoid all on my own,

but now, I got to help my brothers.

- Did you know there's a new street gang in town?

- What? Where? I need new butts to kick.

- You shouldn't be so aggro. - Yeah, sure, Mikey.

Next time I'm in a fight, I'll just tell jokes.

- [squeaking]

- I'm not worried.

- Humans all seem pretty awesome.

- I'm not gonna let anything happen to us, Dad.

- I got this!

[echoing] Got this! Got this!

[boat horn blasting]

[gasps]

[panting]

Ah!

[struggling]

[groans]

[gasps]

[stomach grumbles]

[retches]

[panting] [turtle clicks, whines]

That's messed up, man.

- Did that turtle just cough up another turtle?

- Dude, the big turtle barfed up another turtle.

Does that make him, like, a cannibal?

I'm gonna lose it if that little turtle

coughs up an even smaller turtle.

[chainsaw revs] - [whines]

- OK, look. [groans]

I don't have time for whatever this is, but if you--

[winces] if you want to go, then let's--

ah. [thuds]

- If we want to go where? He didn't finish.

- Hey, sorry to interrupt,

but that chainsaw, it's very close to my face.

- Chainsaw, knock it off and get in the truck!

- Aw!

- Take the turtle. We're leaving.

[water bubbling]

[distorted rumbling]

- [grumbling]

[beeping]

[electrical static crackling]

[ominous music]

[clanking, whirring, crackling]

[turtle clicks, whines]

- Eh, not the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

[upbeat grungy rock music]

♪ ♪

[chicken clucking] [engine revving]

[train horn blares]

♪ ♪

- [groaning]

- Get ready, freaks.

My Mecha-robot-thing is going to kick all your mutant butts,

for the sake of humanity and stuff.

- Yeah, I don't really--

I don't really remember why I'm here.

I feel-- I feel weirdly out of place.

- Despite me talking a big game all the time

about being the leader,

I have absolutely no idea what to do.

- Let me run some numbers on this.

Beep-boop, beep-boop, beep-boop.

Dork stuff.

- Oh, I have a dumb idea.

Let's just talk to them and try and be nice.

Like that would ever work.

- I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

[blades ringing]

We're gonna kick their metal butts.

[shouts]

[epic music]

- [roaring]

- Let's go!

♪ ♪

What the--

[grunts]

Whoa.

- All your strength is not enough, Raphael.

Your brothers' butts will be kicked,

all because you couldn't save them.

- Ah!

No, no! Ah!

- Yo, he's got gills.

I told you turtles could breathe underwater.

- Those aren't gills. That's just neck fat.

- But he's a mutant, so all bets are off.

- Why the mask?

Like, does he think we can't tell

he's a turtle with that thing on?

- Ah!

[grunts]

- See? I told you he was alive.

- You're about to wish I wasn't, you--

did you tie me up with an extension cord?

- And what about it?

- Told you that was a dumb idea.

Mutants are super strong, and they can breathe fire.

- You want to tell me who you idiots are

before I crack your skulls, or after?

[neck cracking] I'm gonna do both, honestly.

I've got a lot of anger to work out.

- We're the Purple Dragons, and we run Brooklyn.

- Well, more like the Sunset Park Bay Ridge area.

- I wouldn't even call it Sunset Park, the neighborhood.

- Eh, technically, Bad Bernie still controls it.

So it's more like the block across from the park.

- Yo, shut up! He doesn't need to know that.

We're the Purple Dragons,

and we run 7th Ave between 40 and 42 Street.

- I changed my mind. I don't--I don't care.

Which one of you thrift shop rejects wanna go first?

[tires squeal]

[beeping] Ah!

I'm pretty sure I've got a-- a few broken ribs.

You're a big one.

Hiya, Hagrid.

Any chance this is, like, an industrial-themed hospital?

What is that? A brick?

Yep, looks like a brick all right.

[chicken clucking] Hey.

[crows loudly]

What are you-- [grunts]

[bone crunches] Ah!

[winces]

[chickens clucking]

What the heck is this place?

[soft ominous music]

[chickens squawk] Get off. Shoo!

I don't want your bird flu.

[bone crunches] [grunts]

- Hey, you're upsetting the chickens.

Don't worry, Sherry, you look strong. Healthy.

You too, Becks.

- What are you doing?

- I'm putting arms on the chickens.

- Why?

- So they can protect themselves.

- Yeah? Well, who's gonna protect you?

[dramatic music]

[distant bird caw]

[wind blows]

Ah! [metallic clunk]

The heck? Ah, come on, seriously? Chains?

What, is this supposed to be some kind of

low-budget horror movie?

- Please stop.

I don't want to have to hurt you again.

- All right, Gigantor,

you couldn't hurt me if you tried.

I'm a mutant, you know what that means?

It means you're about to get a world-class beatdown and--

- My name's Hun. - What?

- My name is Hun, not Gigantor.

It's not OK to make fun of someone 'cause of their size.

- What's with you? What is this place, huh?

Your little-- your little street gang

does chicken farming on the side?

[chickens clucking]

- [sighs] I wish.

[engine revving]

[chickens squawking]

[metallic sheen]

- Come on, Angel! We talked about this.

- This is my baby. I'm not leaving it outside.

Crime around here is crazy.

We're literally in a warehouse full of criminals.

- The noise scares the chickens.

- No one cares about the chickens, Hun.

Forget about the chickens!

- Oh, what are you supposed to be, his mom?

- That's Angel, she's not my--

- I know she's not your mom.

She's only like a year older than.

You can we just get on with this, OK? I got places to be.

- What? You got a math test tomorrow?

You and the other turtles, you go to school,

isn't that right?

- Wait.

He's a turtle? - Yes, he's a turtle.

Do you not watch TV?

- Wait, what did you think I was?

- Uh, crab?

- All right, talk time's over.

It's time to crack some eggs. [grunts]

♪ ♪

- Ah!

- And by "eggs," I mean your heads.

- That's not funny.

- Now you've done it, Turtle.

[grunts]

Hun!

- [roars]

[bones cracking]

- [gasps]

[grunts]

Yeah, OK.

I--I guess I could hang around for a little while.

- Sorry, Turtle.

- I told you to make sure he was secure.

Bob's letting us use this place as a favor.

He said not to wreck it. Look at the floor.

Kitsune is coming personally, Hun.

She wants to see the mutant for herself,

so he has to stay put.

You think you can handle that? - Yes, Angel.

- [groans] Kitsune put us in charge.

You're the strongest Dragon here,

but no one's gonna respect you if you don't toughen up.

So brick up already!

You've got one job, Hun. Just watch him!

[chicken clucks softly]

- Great. At least no one will think to look for me

in an abandoned chicken factory with sad Shaq over here.

[beeping]

- [distorted grumbling]

[glass squeaks]

[electrical crackling]

[electrical crackling]

- [grunts] Are you kidding me with this?

I'm gonna get out of these chains,

and I'm gonna-- [groans]

Hey, big man. Sorry.

Earl, Honk, whatever your name is.

Can you get a little closer?

I have a secret to tell you about kicking your butt.

- No.

What did I do to deserve all this attitude?

- Seriously?

You kidnapped me and hung me on a hook!

- You attacked us first.

- You chained me to the floor in a chicken factory.

- It's not a factory.

They're humanely treated. Bob said so.

- Yeah, I mean, I'm sure the giant death plucker

hanging from the ceiling is, uh, it's just for decoration.

Look, Bob lied, man.

Not to mention, it's like 100 degrees in here, OK?

There's nothing humane about lacking an air conditioner.

- [grunts angrily]

[intense rock music]

[roars]

- Oh, my God. Is this how you fight?

Ow. [grunts] You-- - [chomps]

- Ow! Oh, what, are you biting now? Ew!

You fight like a hungry sixth grader.

[grunts]

[groans]

If I throw up, I hope some of it gets on you.

[burps] - That's gross.

Sorry about the violence, Becks.

I'm gonna get you out of here.

[chickens clucking]

All of you.

- What, you're an animal liberator?

Liberate me. I'm an animal.

- I'm sorry I bit you.

- And you're bad at this.

I--I'm your prisoner.

I mean, you don't have to apologize to me.

How are you in a position of authority here?

[stammers] Baffles me.

- I don't know. I'm the biggest, the strongest.

The other Dragons, I have to protect them.

- Yeah, man, I--I get that, all right?

Except sometimes--

- Sometimes, I'm not strong enough.

So I carry Bricky to help remind me to be stronger.

- Bricky?

Man, god, you've really gotta workshop that name.

I mean, "Brick Cage" feels like

an obvious winner, if you ask me.

How about, uh-- how about "Brick Jagger"?

[chicken squawking loudly]

Yeah, I still don't understand how there's a--

a chicken plucking factory in the city.

- We're just borrowing it until we get our own place.

[chickens clucking] - Hey, what's their problem?

- I don't think they like you.

They find your energy unsettling, obviously.

[softly] It's OK. He's not gonna hurt you.

[dramatic music]

- It's a Mechazoid! - What's a Mechazoid?

- There's these-- look, it's complicated, OK?

There's a weird killer robot out there

hunting for me and my brothers.

- What's it doing up there? - I don't know.

Maybe it's waiting up there for the right moment.

Maybe it got banged up like I did, and it's fixing itself.

You gotta let me out of here, man.

- I can't.

- Look, I'm trying to help you, Hun.

That thing's gonna come in here and tear us up.

Probably the chickens, too.

- Do you know how mad Kitsune would be?

- Ooh, big bad leader of the Purple Dragons.

You act like she's some kind of boogeyman.

I mean, maybe she scares you, but not me.

[engine revving] - She's here.

[engine revving]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- What? Hun, turn me around.

♪ ♪

[chicken clucking softly]

Are you for real?

This is your big boss?

The one you're all afraid of?

Show a little backbone, Hun.

[Purple Dragons shushing] - Are you crazy?

- Angel, what do you have for me?

- It's one of the mutants that helped save the city from

whatever that thing was, the big monster.

Two of my guys fished it out of the river.

- Look, Kitsune, or whoever you are,

I appreciate that you got your little street gang

going on in there, matching colors,

doing your little crimes or whatever,

but you need to let me go right now,

or I swear, I'll--

[tapping screen]

[notification whooshes] - Go on.

- Uh, that was, like, an implied threat.

I mean, your imagination is supposed to--

[sighs]

Look, I'm gonna get out of these chains

and kick the living snot out of all of you.

Starting with you, lady.

- Right.

And you haven't done this already because?

That's what I thought.

- [exhales] What do you even want with me anyway?

- As it turns out, there are several international buyers

interested in having a mutant specimen all their own,

and are willing to pay an exorbitant price

to procure one. - Uh, what?

- We're selling you, mutant.

- [loudly] What?

- Get him ready for shipment.

Oh, but cut off one of his fingers, please.

There's a pharmaceutical company

that was asking for samples.

- [chuckling] Yes. Yes, yes!

Finally! [phone rings]

- I have to take this. Nothing personal.

- OK, whoa, let's just talk about this.

[chainsaw revving] Hey!

How much of a finger do you really need?

I mean, I only have three.

Maybe we compromise with a little milking?

- [rumbling]

[beeping]

- Oh, come on!

Hey, lady! Kitsune!

there's an evil robot that's gonna come in here

and wipe out your stupid Purple Dragons

if you don't let me go.

You got to believe me.

[chainsaw revving] - Really, Turtle?

Not the police, or even your other mutant friends,

but an evil robot?

Next time, try something believable.

- Uh, that's really close to my face.

- Sorry.

But I did really like talking to you.

- I should--I should try--

- Sometimes you get farther with a smile and a kind word.

Just saying. - Yeah, sure, Mikey.

Next time I'm in a fight, I'll just tell jokes.

I should try talking to you.

Maybe tell you a joke.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Hun, why'd the chicken cross the road?

- What? - So I can eat it.

- [laughs]

It doesn't make sense, but that's why I like it.

It's nuanced.

[chainsaw revving] - How do you offend a chicken?

You roast it.

[scattered snickering]

- Hey. That's not funny.

- Why don't chickens like people?

Because people beat eggs.

- [gasps] [Purple Dragons laughing]

- That's a good one, right, Hun?

- Are all of these jokes going to be about hurting chickens?

- Probably, yeah, yeah.

What day of the week are chickens afraid of?

- Don't say Fry-day. - Fry-day!

[laughter]

- [growls]

What are you doing?

- I'm taking my brother's advice,

and I'm buying time. - For what?

- [rumbling] [glass shatters]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- For that.

- [rumbling]

- What the heck is that?

- It's an evil robot killing machine.

The turtle wasn't lying. Get it!

- [shouting]

[grunts in effort]

[clanking]

[chickens squawk]

[chainsaw revving]

- Come on, baby.

[engine roars] It's our time to shine!

Yah!

[blade grinds, stops]

- [rumbling]

- [nervous chuckle]

Sorry? [grunts]

[chickens squawking] - No!

[dramatic music]

[metallic clank]

- Ooh, uh, never mind. I did not mean that!

- [grunts in effort]

[electrical zapping] Ah!

[groans]

- Hey, Mech-head, what are you waiting for?

I'm right here!

- [snarls]

[chainsaw buzzing]

[chickens clucking] - [grunts]

OK, maybe this is why Leo makes the plans.

[chicken squawks]

- Sherie!

[chainsaw buzzing]

[roars]

Rah!

[grunting] [brick thudding]

- Hey, thanks for the good times, guys.

See ya around.

♪ ♪

- [screams]

[thudding and pounding]

[grunts, shouts]

[Dragons screaming]

[grunts]

- [sighs] Come on. Don't be stupid, Raph.

Just--just walk away and--

- [screaming]

- [groans] Hang on, Hun.

- [shouts]

I can't let you leave.

- Leave? I'm trying to save you guys.

- Kitsune said-- - Where's your boss now, huh?

Oh, right. She split.

Now get out of my way, or help me.

- Angel!

[straining]

- Hun! - I'll be taking these back.

Yah!

[shouts]

[blade ringing]

- [grunts, shouts]

[breathing heavily]

- You ready to brick up?

♪ ♪

- [roars] [chainsaw buzzing]

♪ ♪

[brick thuds loudly] - Ah!

- Yah! [snarls]

[metallic ringing]

[hollow clattering]

[declining whirring]

- Yes! - Yeah! [groans]

[mechanical chirping, rumbling]

- What?

That's not fair. We chopped its head off!

- [snarls] [chainsaw buzzing]

- [grunting]

Oof!

Turtle...

Huh?

- [shouting]

♪ ♪

Get plucked.

[shouting]

[chickens squawking]

- [winces]

All right, that was-- that was pretty good.

Just, uh-- [coughs]

just give me a minute if we're gonna fight now.

[groans]

"Bishop Robotics"?

Are we doing this?

- No.

- Fine. You saved Hun.

He's a big idiot, but he's my idiot.

We're even.

- Wait. You--you mean--

- Just get out of here. I'll tell Kitsune you escaped.

- Yeah. Yeah, fine.

Hey, Hun, see you on the other side...

of the road, which I'm about to cross.

- Your jokes are bad, Turtle.

Bob's gonna be mad we wrecked his place.

- Yeah.

We'll tell him the mutant did it.

[chickens clucking softly]

- Be free, my friends.

Don't talk to strangers.

And stay away from dogs.

[chickens cooing]

They're crossing the road...

to freedom.

[engine roars] [chicken squawks]

- You forgot to teach it to look both ways.

Wait. Where's my bike?

[engine revving]

- I'm coming, guys.

♪ ♪

[train horn blasting]

- [screams] - [snarls]

[grungy electronic rock music]

♪ ♪

[quirky fanfare]