All language subtitles for Community.Squad.S01E01.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DUAL.DDP5.1.H.264-WDYM-HI

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Original subtitles

[Paula] What do you feel?

I don't know. You?

I already said.

Yeah, okay.

I get it, but...

- we should think about it. - Mm.

- We've thought about it enough. I'm done. - What do you...?

Yeah, okay, I hear you.

We've been here so much. This is it, I'm out.

They're great, aren't they? Medium density, jacquard lining.

- It's tricky. - [salesman] Uh...

Which one do you recommend?

I mean, I told you yesterday, uh...

See, I recommend high density.

But that's very personal, you know? It's... I don't know.

They're all very good. They'll last you 20 years.

With high density, your back ends up like "oof."

Osteopaths tell you they're great, but don't they don't use them.

You're the one in pain, right?

[salesman] No, it's only at first. I'd say it's almost seconds.

Do you like the lamp? I have it at home.

[uneasy music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Pau?

Go get the door. Go, go, go.

Listen up! No one's leaving here!

- Do you buy them to...? - [man] Get your wallets ready,

- because... - [Felipe grunts]

...Don Hogar discount week is finally here!

[over store's speakers] ♪ Don Hogar, Don Hogar ♪

[Felipe] It's all good, okay?

♪ Don Hogar, Don Hogar ♪

- ♪ Don Hogar, Don Hogar ♪ - [man] Woo!

♪ Don Hogar, Don Hogar... ♪

[Felipe pants]

[Felipe grunts]

Yeah, so, we'll take the, uh, high density. Yeah.

So, we'll take that and get outta here, I think.

Wait, um...

I don't feel comfortable.

- Let's not rush into this. - Okay, we can get the spring mattress.

- The whole moving thing. - Huh?

- The moving in thing. - Moving in, why?

- Huh? - No.

- I was going to get help, it's not... - But you...

[confetti blaster pops loudly]

Um...

But it's not that alone.

We can talk about the little things that add up over time, you know.

- But not here. - Uh, but...

But, if they're little things, we can work on 'em, right? What...

- What little things? - I don't know.

You don't take care of me, and you're afraid of everything you encounter.

You have no projects.

You don't take chances.

And our sex life is lousy.

I don't look up to you.

Okay.

Yeah, but... But, like, this is my project now. You're it.

[salesman] Sorry.

Uh, I just wanted to clarify

that you need to pay for the jug and the mattress,

because of the stain.

But you still get a 25 percent discount off everything.

- I can wash it, right? - Yeah.

Feli, I just need a break.

I really don't want to hurt you, but this is how I feel about things.

- Uh, yeah. - Mm.

I mean, it takes time for sex to work. You can't judge it in year two.

You're so right. Maybe I'm just... I was thinking about this.

I don't wanna pry in your personal business,

but her point isn't wrong.

- It's not? - No. You lack passion.

I don't see your passion at work.

- No? - I don't.

- What do you mean? - Uh, no, no, no. Look...

I've got an idea. Here you go.

Prove you have initiative.

Give the job a break, and instead do what you like.

I don't like the idea of leaving you guys alone.

Let me worry about that. No, no. We're...

I want you to be alright. That's why you're here, right?

Okay, I haven't gone on vacation in a while.

I'm not talking about vacation, I'm talking about your fear.

Take a risk, make decisions.

Don't be scared.

Oh, no. Cause, I mean, I...

I-I got my new place. I bought a bed today.

How much money do you need, Felipe?

So you can relax.

Crisis is opportunity.

- You think? - Yeah.

Which one?

Uh...

Right, this one.

Victoria Márquez called.

Apparently there's an issue with their payout?

Okay, I don't... So, explain to them that it was the bank.

Why don't you explain it?

Oh... [laughs]

I like when she gets feisty like that, you know? [sniffs]

I wanna help here. Okay?

So, you're taking the money, alright?

I'm gonna write a check for... How much do you need?

Forget it, I'll give you cash.

Here you go, look.

And a little more should be enough to follow your dreams.

Alright.

Thank you, Dad.

Here I'm not your dad.

I'm just Daniel.

["Get Down On It" by Kool & The Gang playing]

[Daniel] Guys!

Felipe is leaving to follow his dreams!

- ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ - [applause]

♪ You wanna get down? Tell me ♪

- ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ - Thanks, guys.

- [cheering] - ♪ Do you wanna get down? ♪

Now, if you could clean out your desk.

♪ You wanna get down? Tell me ♪

Right.

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Come on, and ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

Was it something I did?

Dad can be manipulative, you know?

- Still. - Ugh, relax.

Yeah? Because there'll be a silver lining to this.

- Sorry, dude, I don't have anything. - I know.

That guy stole your backpack.

[Felipe] No! No! No! No!

Hey!

[humorous music playing]

[Felipe] That's my backpack!

[Felipe panting]

[both grunt]

I had so much cash.

[Diego] It's okay.

- I'll walk you to the police station. - Yeah, right.

The police are useless, they're not gonna help you here.

No offense.

I'm not police.

I'm an Urban Guard.

[presenter] We are introducing a new service for the community.

A prevention and orientation corps.

Thank you, sir!

[presenter] An unarmed civilian corps

composed of people just like you.

How about it?

Forward-thinking, closeness, inclusion.

Join us and help make this city a safer place.

Urban Guard. We are waiting for you.

For a marketing campaign, I think it's bizarre.

I get it, man.

Who wouldn't run from masked men?

Right. Sorry for not being a strong protective man.

I'm sensitive, you know? Like, "deconstricted."

- Deconstructed. - Exactly!

And everything was set.

We got a big, luminous apartment, and she bailed on it.

I'd never bail on you.

- Luminous apartments are hard to find. - [Diego laughs]

You've got bad judgement.

- No kidding. - Don't worry about it.

You've got time.

Especially if the apartment's big.

Oh, it's spacious alright.

- Two flights of stairs to get to it. - Mm.

- You lost me there. - What, are you lazy?

[snorts] Ah.

[laughs]

Okay, guys, there's like eight bars in this area.

- If I'm interrupting... - Huh?

He only made me laugh once. He's gotta do it three times at least.

- [Diego] Mm. - Two guys walk into a bar...

[Diego and Sofía laugh]

Actually beer makes me sick, but we could have tea.

[both laugh]

- That's three! - You're right.

Listen, it's true.

- [laughs] - [door opens]

- Diego! - I don't work in maintenance anymore.

[Betty] Come here. Come, help me out with this thing.

- [Diego] Okay, okay. - Some mint tea or something.

[Sofía clears throat]

[Felipe chuckles]

Are you doing something specific?

Are you signing up for it?

No, no. I'm just here to file a complaint.

Oh, then you'll be here for hours.

We'll have tea some other time.

I want to be clear, my girlfriend and I aren't broken up,

like, we're just on a break.

I mean, I don't want to, like, you know,

- give you the wrong impression. - It's okay. It's okay.

We're good.

Was this a bit of a shock?

Oh, it's a wheelchair. Wow.

- Didn't notice. - You didn't?

No, uh...

Nope. No, I didn't.

Yeah, you missed it because it's tiny.

It's really tiny.

It's nuts how small that thing is.

It's barely there.

- Good luck. Gotta go. - Yeah, thanks.

[Sofía grunts]

[Sofía] I got it, thank you!

[old man] Huh? Sorry?

Do you have a hearing impairment, my man?

No. Zimmerman. I'll spell it for you. Z-I...

Sorry, I just need a second, then I'll go.

Bernardo, pleasure to meet you.

My number's up. What do I do from here?

- Your ID? - Huh?

I told you, they took my wallet.

Then how am I supposed to verify your identity?

But we already... I-I'm here to file a complaint, yeah?

Oh, that's right.

Walk past these doors to the hall.

- Second office on your left. - Thanks.

Welcome to phase two of selection. We'd like to count you in.

We think you'll make the team.

Well, thank you so much, sir.

I feel good about it already.

Sorry, feels pretty weird to do that.

This one would be good to send incognito.

You can hide him anywhere, which could be useful to us.

You betcha.

Well, thanks. It's cool.

- Uh, yeah. Be careful out there. - [Joni] Sure. Thanks.

[grunts] I'm sorry.

- I was told that... - Take a seat.

Oh.

How are you? My name is Miguel Rossi. I'm the precinct's psychologist.

And I'm currently in charge.

And this is Julio García Reynoso,

commissioner and deputy security chief of Palermo.

Alright. My name is Felipe Rozenfeld.

I-I don't know what information you need.

We'd like for you to tell us what brought you here today,

what you're hoping to get from this.

Well, you know, I've lost so much, uh...

I was hoping to reclaim some of what I had, at least.

That's a really good phrase. Good start.

Oh, no, no. It's not about the money at this point.

I really hate injustice, so if anything can to be done here...

I like the way you talk. That's excellent.

[Julio] Tell us a bit about yourself.

Do you belong to any...

any minorities?

Do you have a disability of any kind?

- Why? - We want to be as inclusive as possible.

We're trying to change our image a bit.

Ha.

Well, I don't...

Just, like, asthma and bad bowels.

- Isn't your last name Jewish? - Yeah, I'm Jewish.

I don't think that counts as a disability, per se.

We'd need to think it over.

It's a minority.

Oh. Yeah, you're right.

- And look, we don't have any Jews here. - [Miguel] Mm.

Although that doesn't make a difference in our image, right?

Like, in photos?

We could give him one of those special little hats.

- [Julio] Preselected. - I'm sorry, there's been a confusion...

Selected candidates will work for a month. You'll receive structured pay.

Uh, plus all the benefits you see listed right there.

Oh, that's the pay.

You said there was some confusion, Felipe?

I think they misspelled my surname. It's got a Z. They always misspell it.

- Rozenfeld? - No, it's perfect.

- Great. - Let's move on to the psychological tests.

- If I showed you... - We need to clear the office now, Miguel.

Okay, welcome to the second step of the selection process.

And how do you say the thing, um... Mazel tov?

Is that it?

You're crazy, Felipe. That doesn't sound like you. Huh?

Are you trying to hurt me?

Say something.

You were always different, but you're not disabled, son.

I once dated a policeman, see,

but it wasn't a match.

- In terms of being sexual. - Right.

I could go back to the company. Maybe my time there isn't over yet, huh?

I think we rushed it.

Hey, working with the disabled might do you good.

- You think? - [Daniel] Sure.

It's too late. I already gave her a promotion.

- Not a cop. - [Felipe] It's not the cops.

A lot of foreigners choose to take pictures of feet.

- Fetishists, you know. - Oh.

And it looks like your feet are pretty good.

They're very big feet.

- Thanks, Grandma. - What's your shoe size?

Thirteen.

You're very creative. I'm sure you can succeed at whatever you want.

By the way, how's Paula?

I had a dream she was pregnant.

[chuckles]

[laughter]

[realtor] Uh, look, if you want to cancel the lease,

you'll have to pay three months worth of rent.

But the studio you left was rented already,

and we aren't really hiring new people to show our apartments.

CAN I CANCEL THE LEASE? IS MY OLD APARTMENT FREE? ARE YOU HIRING?

[Felipe sighs]

[mellow music playing]

URBAN GUARD

WE ARE HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU GO FOR IT!

PREVENTION AND INCLUSION JOIN US!

READY TO ACT MEET US!

- Excuse me. How much do you weigh? - [Joni] Okay, put me down.

Huh?

Okay. Relax.

So cute girls are minorities now?

The "cute girl" is officer Figueroa's kid.

- Agustín? - Vivian.

I dig that.

[Diego] Hey, man!

I'm glad you're here.

I liked the idea of helping and stuff like that.

[snorts] Is that apartment too expensive?

[chuckles] Well, yeah.

- Mm, maybe we should sit? - Sure.

Gotta catch up to me.

[laughs]

I feel confident, Julio. This is gonna be great.

- Yeah, I hope so. - Admit it's a pretty good turn out, right?

Excuse me.

[man coughs]

Okay, it's great to, uh, see all of you.

I see some new faces.

Some of you out there I've met before, during the interviews.

Disabled.com brought some of you here.

The, uh, employment office brought others.

The truth is, our selection criteria is actually quite strict.

It will be hard to choose,

- because, well, there's a lot of you. - Sorry.

Is this the talk about how to renew our licenses?

No, no. That's upstairs in the communal office.

[grumbling]

[indistinct chatter]

Um, Betty, you'll have to be more precise when giving instructions.

Well, it's not like I'm responsible for everything.

More precision, Betty, okay?

Uh, just in case, this isn't where you renew your disability benefits either.

[Miguel laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

[man] Let's get out of here.

Okay.

Well...

The great news is,

we won't have to move forward with the selection process anymore.

It's just us.

Actually, we could have really used several more.

Well, time for the team to bond!

[scattered applause]

[mellow music playing]

[inaudible]

Okay? Okay.

And... [exhales]

- [exhales] - [Miguel] How are you? Huh?

[grunts] Okay.

Uh, prepare for this. An imaginary little ball.

I have it here, I pass it to my partner. Okay?

My partner catches it, says their name and then why they're here.

Okay, I'll start.

Okay, there you go.

Yeah, say it.

Yeah. Hi! I'm Mario.

I just got here. I immigrated from Sweden.

Comedy! Hey! [laughs]

Uh, no, uh, I came here to try to, like, do stand-up,

but it's pretty hard, so...

Here I am, just like one about the guy...

Okay. We can do that later. Let's not interrupt the, uh, you know.

- [Mario blows] - [Joni blows]

[Joni] Uh...

- [Miguel] Yes. - Joni.

- "My name is Joni." - My name is Joni. Yeah.

What brought you here today, Joni?

Well, I couldn't join the military,

and this may not be a big deal, but it's the best I could find.

- Pass it. Pass the ball. - [Joni] Uh...

Um, okay.

I'm Sofía and I'm here because I like adrenaline and some danger.

Yeah, but this job is pretty chill, though.

Well, I'm also here for the health insurance plan.

Okay.

- Do I pass it? - Pass it. Yeah.

Check this out!

Champ!

[whoosh]

Uh...

My name is Vivian.

I write crime novels,

and I wanted to see the monster inside and up close.

There isn't a monster here. We're good guys.

Okay. [whoosh]

- Uh... - [man clears throat]

I'm Edgardo. I'm here for the money.

- Okay, that's enough. I'll take the ball. - [whistles]

Okay, uh... [grunts] It's gone now.

Why don't we do some work to get ready to work in the streets? Okay?

Anyone up for improv?

Huh? Someone? Anyone?

A little improv?

Great.

- Who are you? - Felipe.

Yes, I mean the character.

- Carlos. - Carlos. Carlos.

- And what's your name? - Sofía.

Okay. Sofía.

Sofía and Carlos. Okay?

So Carlos is walking down the street, like...

- Yeah. - Hey!

That's it.

What is Carlos doing? He's doing something.

Dancing.

Yes, but what is he doing? There's something you're doing.

- Make something that would disturb... - [whistles]

...our public order.

- Playing the flute? - He's drinking alcohol.

- Alcohol. - He's drinking.

Hey!

Psycho!

Hey!

- Are you psycho? - Really good alcohol.

- A psycho? - No, you don't say that.

That's what you think.

But what do you say to him? That's what this is about.

What do you say?

Again, there's no air conditioning in the patrol cars.

- No. - We don't have the budget for that,

- but we do for this crap. - Okay.

Why are you drinking, butthead?

Julio, why are you doing this?

You guys figure it out, you got brains.

The Bolivian thing? Is that why?

- [Sofía] Are you disrespecting me? - We repressed them. Okay.

They were disabled. We didn't know.

[Skinny] We are like a family. And all of a sudden,

it looks like a bunch of weird cousins came in through the windows by mistake.

- Go. - What's the matter, honey?

All I'm doing is drinking.

- Don't call me that, you ass! - No, no, no, no.

You have to ask. You have to ask.

- And you, tone it down. - Hey, I'm homeless!

I don't have to...

- Tone it down a little. - I have to be truthful.

- Go away, and write some more tickets. - In this heat?

This is 100 percent nylon!

Then help me out with Miguel, will ya?

You can tell he's trying to be professional about it. Miguel!

- And that... - [Julio] Come here, so we can talk.

- They'll keep it going. - You will? Do you, uh, want the ball?

- No. It's all good. - I'll take it with me.

Go ahead.

I liked your play.

- It's a jungle out there. - You did well.

If you don't have the basics up your sleeve,

they'll walk all over you. Especially you.

- Hey. - [Esteban] Yeah?

Hey. Any of you excited to meet this little guy?

[Esteban] Pepper spray. Who wants to volunteer?

- Who's ready? You? - I am.

All this effort and we couldn't even get ten candidates.

- [candidates moaning] - This group might surprise us.

[Esteban] So what have we learned?

That we must never use violence, unless it's the last resort.

- The very last one. - Thanks.

[man] It burns!

Today is an important day. Very important.

It's really moving for us to see how excited you wonderful people are.

On the verge of tears. That's why we have a surprise for you.

The Minister would like to say just a few words.

- Mm? - Okay. Plug it in.

Do you need help connecting it?

- [Miguel] We got it. - [Julio] The other...

[Betty] I got it.

- Turn it around. - The computer is fine the way it is.

- [Betty] Like this? - Yeah.

[TV static]

You're on now, Minister!

New officers, hi! You have...

...in our new inclusi... corps!

We want to tell you,

no matter if you're blind, it's a...

...and wheelchairs too!

That safety is...

back in the streets.

People...

- Thank you, Minister. - It's thanks to you...

...are the light that guides us so we can be closer...

Alright, I hope that today is the start of a great relationship.

Okay. The shirts. Give 'em out.

- You got a handkerchief? - It's clean, wipe with something else.

- Which one do you want? - I want a jacket.

There's a... a T-shirt, a little cap.

Oh, okay. That's not necessary. You don't need to put the...

Okay, let's get a pic for social media.

- [Miguel] Squeeze in a bit more. - [Sofía] Move over there.

Ready? We'll take a picture now, and then I'll tag you all later.

- Do you want me to take it? - No. I can do it, Betty.

Oh, okay.

- No flash, Miguel. - [Miguel] Yeah.

- Horizontal first and then vertical. - Stop it, Betty.

- Mind if I? - No.

[Miguel] Smile!

- Great. - [camera shutter clicks]

Now look serious, now look nice. Real nice.

You can't drink alcohol here. I think I'll have to give you a ticket.

I'll have to give you a ticket.

What's up? Are you making me give you a ticket?

- What, you want me to give... - [door closes]

- What are you doing here? - [Paula] I came to pick up some things.

I thought you'd be at work now.

Did you, like,

leave your job to work at a... gas station?

Kinda.

Officer, what's happening?

Everything's okay.

Did I just hear "officer"?

This is what the Urban Guard wears.

Urban Guard?

I saw it on the news earlier.

You gotta have guts right?

I mean there's short people, handicapped guys, anything you want.

There are minorities, but it's not exclusive, you know.

Like...

Yeah, the best in each field, so to speak, are there. We're there.

But, isn't it a bit dangerous to work as a guard?

Yeah, it's... It can be dangerous.

- Right? There's some risks. - Uh-huh.

- Wanna get dinner? - No.

No, no. Let's not confuse the whole thing.

Confuse what?

No, I... want us to respect the decision we made.

- Well... - Well...

Have a great day tomorrow. And do nice things.

- Bye. - See ya.

Do you know if they're hiring over there?

Cause I have a nephew, you know?

He's a bit crazy, and he's a bit retarded, and...

The term is "disabled." And no, they're not hiring.

[funky music playing]

MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION

How to make a good impression.

I want you to get out in the community now.

See if anyone needs anything.

But don't act or do anything, okay?

If you need to, you contact the precinct.

Uh, so will we be armed?

No, you're unarmed, brother.

Radios? You know, for the... beep-beep.

Not for now. You can use your cellphones.

Uh, anyway. I created this game right here,

to organize the teams, okay?

So, on one side, you will find a quote you should recognize.

And on the other,

the philosopher who said it. Now...

I'll hand these out and you can use them to choose your partner.

Let's start right here.

Can't we just pair up and call it a day?

Okay.

What is freedom in the end? Huh?

"Conquering yourself." Who said it?

- Go with me? - Yeah, you got it.

Plato.

- Homie! I'm excited! - [gasps] Oh.

I want you all to be there for ordinary citizens.

- Maybe there's a button. - Hi. Can I assist you today?

Oh, poor guys.

God bless you.

[Miguel] I want people to see us as role models.

Can I help you cross the street?

That's sweet of you, honey, but where's your mommy?

Been dead for years, ma'am.

Do you want me to get you some ice cream?

Yeah.

Joni, I'll wait for you here.

I like chocolate chip, dulce de leche.

[Miguel] From now on, whenever there's a guard nearby, there's tranquility.

Good morning, ladies. We're from the Urban Guard.

- Yeah. - We're happy to help.

She and I are from the bakery.

Wanna buy anything?

How long do you go on a break for?

Depends. What'd she say this was?

[Esteban] Who filled up my tank?!

- [laughs] Wow. - Hilarious, dude.

- Hey, what's that? - [grunts]

And yours too! Do you carry a gun there?

Mamma mia! [kisses]

- How'd you get these? - We paid for it.

Skinny, look! Want a cheese roll?

No, I'm vegan, Esteban!

Copy that!

[indistinct radio chatter]

Okay.

Move faster, let's go!

I gotta run.

Keep it up.

It's great what you guys are doing. So brave.

You don't care what people say. I love that.

Don't let anyone tell you you're morons. See you. [kisses]

- [engine starts] - [Esteban] See ya, dickwads!

[police horn honks]

- Hey... - Yeah?

Think we should ask them to stop blocking the bike lane?

Oh, yeah.

[intriguing music playing]

[Diego] Hey!

No one there?

- No, try the doorbell? - Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Our first mission together. - Yeah! Cheese!

- Nice. - Send it to me later.

I'll tag you.

- No, just send it to me, okay? - Okay.

- There's no doorbell. - So bang on it.

It's open. Push, push.

[Felipe] Think it's okay to go in?

Yeah.

Hello, hello!

[Diego] There's a van blocking the bike lane.

Could you move it, please?

[Felipe] Hey...

- Keep your eyes peeled. - Sure.

This is private property, so we can't just do whatever we want.

[laughs]

Does he look familiar?

[Felipe] Should he?

[grunts]

- C'mon, man! - [unusual noise]

[suspenseful music playing]

- That was weird, right? - Mm-hmm.

- I'm scared. What should we do? - Call them. Call them.

[operator] Thank you for calling the Urban Guard.

All of our operators are busy at the moment.

Please continue to hold. We will...

[phone ringing]

[phone continues ringing]

[music over phone playing]

- I don't have enough minutes for this. - Give it to me.

Please continue to hold.

- Isn't that from a movie? - Shh.

[operator] Urban Guard. How about it? Come on.

Show what you are capable of and join an exciting...

Let's just deal with it.

Yeah. Yeah.

[exciting music playing]

Alright.

Ooh!

[mouthing] Okay.

I'll go in front, you go that way.

- It's cool doing this with you. - Time for justice, my friend.

Ready.

- [Diego] Hello! Urban Gua... - [gunshot]

[closing theme music playing]

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