All language subtitles for COIFFEUR POUR DAMES(1952)_PARENTE_Fernandel.Eng

The way she's looking, she
seems satisfied.

Why not? Sheep aren't stupider
than people.

When she bahs,
it's as if she's thanking me.

There, she's done.

If you don't win first prize with
her, I'll chop my hands off.

Don't do that! Those hands still have
much to do.

I hope so, Mrs. Castagnier.

She's ready.

Well, look at her.
You can do anything with her.

And she is quite tricky. She has
been kicking everyone else for ages.

You must be able to handle mares.
You must have it in your fingers...

The fingers.

Have you seen the ribbon?
Superb.

Mister Marius.
- Hello, Miss Mireille.

Here is your dog. I got her
a clown's head.

You look great, honey.
You are so pretty.

I wasn't very happy last month.

I wasn't in Marseilles then,
I was working in the countryside.

You have it good here, eh?

I also have a Pekingese.
I will bring him.

All right, I'll make a lion out of him.
- My Pekingese?

Through a magnifying glass,
he will look like the king of the desert.

You are a real wizard.
I can see it in your fingers.

Goodbye, Mister Marius.
- Good day, Miss Mireille.

Good day, Mrs. Estavier.
Who do we have here?

We will give you a nice haircut.

At last, some living hair.
- You have gentle hands.

My hands are my greatest
asset, Miss Aline.

And if I had yours in mine,
left in right...

then I would be happiest of all.

You keep changing jobs.
- No, I don't change...

I lift myself up. I climb up.

Not everyone has skilled fingers.

Fingers like coils, fingers that speak,
expressing themselves. Polite.

Yes, I love that brushing.
- Do it yourself.

I started as a sheep shearer.

It promised little,
but time was on my side.

Who cuts others has opportunities.

It's cut or be cut.
I cut. I am ambitious. And you?

Me? I just want to be happy.
With a good boy.

Then you are in luck.
- How's that?

I am a good boy. We can
do great things together.

A girl from Dunkirk and a boy from
the south. We could knock them out in Paris.

Paris?
- Yes, I won't be hanging around here.

I was not created to brush dolls.

I do not want a wax museum,
but a hair salon in the capital.

I am suffocating here.
-Well, go somewhere else.

Good, we're going somewhere else to
breathe the fresh air.

Are things going well, Mrs Gilibert?
- I can't complain.

The chipolata is going well.

If the chipolata is going well,
everything is in order.

And are you satisfied?

Hold still. There is a tress.

Mario, you are a great artist.
- With your head, it's easy.

It is sculpting with first-class marble

You are not only a sculptor,
but also a musician.

I play piano with two fingers.
- No Mario, you play the violin.

Our hair are the strings of your
instrument that makes hearts tremble.

You don't say this to your husband?

But with women you don't ask,
you insist.

What more do you want in this profession?

A nice smile.
- You're such a joker.

And how is your wife?
- Good. She is a little bored.

That is always the case
if the man is having fun.

Am I having fun? This is not a profession,
but a calling.

The things you say.

Look, Mrs Gilibert.
You look like an angel.

Mario, you're a wizard.

Put it on my account.
This is for you.

You're too kind, Mrs. Gilibert.
- Goodbye.

Miss...

What will it be, Miss Mado?
- Head massage.

No cut or water waves?
-No, only a wash.

I find your fingers in my hair
so nice.

Just like my old cat,
when I scratch her head.

Eau de cologne, Rave d'or, Houbigan
or Chanel?

The cheapest.
It's about the pleasure.

I would make a nice catch.
- Me too.

Come over, I live on the other side.
Then we can have a little chat.

I'd like to,
but I am faithful to my wife.

Oh, you're married.
- Look at this.

Pity. A hairdresser should never marry.

Yes, as a handsome boy you can have
so many adventures.

There's nothing very clever about that.

Mister Mario, do you have time today?
- Not today, Mrs. Durand.

Tomorrow at 10 am?
-I'm free, ma'am.

No thanks. I want Mario.
See you tomorrow.

Mister Mario, when is it my turn?
I'm dry.

Me too. I've been waiting two hours.

If you are in a hurry,
you can use Gaetan.

And now a good massage.
- Oh yes... Where am I?

With Mario, the best hairdresser
in the neighborhood.

Hello, Mrs. Mario.
What will it be today?

Cold meat in jelly
and two pig's feet.

You get them from the case.

Add some pie for
Mrs. Mario. The best.

Mrs. Gilibert...

Nothing is too good for the woman
of the man who makes us so beautiful.

Here, nice and crusty,
the way you like it.

Can I ask you something?

Gaétan always cuts my hair, but can you
put in a word for me with your husband?

He is very busy.
- Do it for me.

I have saved a cream pie for you.
- I did not order that.

It's part of the deal.
Denise, package it up.

All right, send me your baker's wife,
and your butcher's wife and your grocer's.

This way we can save
and I'll soon be able to start for myself.

Mario, you're even more ambitious
than Marius.

Yes, Marius rose up,
Mario soars

and this is the result,
we have an apartment.

Don't overdo it, two rooms.

Okay, you have your northern logic,
I've my southern exaggeration.

A beautiful apartment with furniture.
- On credit.

So they have confidence in us.

Soon we'll have a maid, a vacuum cleaner,
a washing machine and a TV.

Then you won't have to do anything anymore.

I'd have preferred to learn manicure.
Then I'd be close to you.

No, Mrs. Mario does not work.
- Then at least I would see people.

What kind of people?
Whores, maids and hotheads.

Haidressers always hear people's
stories, but...

this morning I had the maid of the
slut that lives above the business.

She told me about the life
of her boss. What a life.

Her bed must be a true battlefield.
Orgies in Batignolles.

And you want to deal with those types?
No.

I really can't, pumpkin. It's 6.45
and my hair is awful.

Don't get worked up.
Directly at the theater?

Agreed. See you soon.

Sir wants me to be at 9 o'clock
at the Casino de Paris.

You have to fix my hair.

I don't have time for the hairdresser
now. What am I going to do now?

There is a good hairdresser downstairs.

That small business? That is
for maids. Oh, pardon.

As you wish, Miss.

Did he give you that cut?
- Yes, miss.

Not bad. Well, it'll have to do.

Cross the courtyard and
ask for Mario.

Get my dress ready. I'll be right back.

You will be satisfied.
Mario has a huge clientele.

All the neighbourhood sluts...
Pardon.

Done.
- Already?

It's nearly seven.
I have to go home.

I want another massage.
- I don't permanently do permanents.

780F for miss.

Come in.

Well, the one from the second floor.

Can I still get a haircut?
- It's never too late for you.

Have a seat.

Good evening, madame.
Here is the key, Gaétan.

Aren't you Mario?
- No.

I want Mario. Mario, stay.

I have to leave, madame.
- I say that you're staying.

Give me the key.

Is it clean here?
- Yes.

Show me the towel.
No, the towel.

I started as a laundry woman.
Good, you can continue with that...

Your hands. They are pretty important
for a hairdresser.

You have a pianist's hands.
- Well, eh...

You stand up. Stand up, I said.

Show me your neck. Your ears.

I began as a sheep shearer.

It'll do.
- You are a joker.

Thank you. And what do you want? A trim?

No, cut it all. Small curls left and
right. Try to make something out of it.

And get a move on, I'm in a hurry.

Did I hurt you?

On the contrary,
you have a very light touch.

I can use a comb.
- No, your fingers are good.

I have very sensitive hair. It is
one of my most sensitive points.

A brush won't do as well.
Carry on.

No, very gently.
And, most of all, very slowly.

What hands you have.

Enough. You will go on later.
-It's getting late.

I'm in no hurry.
- I am. We'll continue.

No, my nerves are on edge.
My hands are ice cold.

Indeed.
- Come along.

Where to?
- My house. Two floors up.

Oh, you are the...
- What?

The woman on the second floor.
- Yes, come with me.

My wife is waiting
and I haven't eaten yet.

Me neither. We can eat together.
And then you can cut me afterwards.

Afterwards?

It sounds tempting.

No.

Rejected by the maid's hairdresser?

I want...

Don't insist.
- Joseph...

I'm not Joseph, but Mario.

Joseph was someone in Antiquity
who didn't like women.

Okay, I'm coming.
-You are vain.

No, proud. Just let me warn my wife,
then I'll come.

Do not make me wait.
My hair is electrically charged.

Don't forget your equipment.
- I always keep it with me.

To the second floor.
I will climb up...

Aline.
- Sit down, honey.

I have a setback.
- What's that?

A woman who lives above the business...
- That slut?

No, a respectable lady.
- What about her?

She has asked me to visit her tonight.

Because she is ill.

Then why does she need a haircut?
- Yes, because a "friend" is coming.

Did you call her a respectable woman?
- The friend is serious.

Sit down, then you can go
after dinner.

Well I...
- What?

She asked me to eat.
- To eat?

The two of us.
I thought it a bit strange.

I'd rather stay with you.
And it smells wonderful. At the table.

You're crazy.
Would you pass up such an opportunity?

If she's rich,
she might send all her friends.

That's true. But what if I fall in
love with her?

You can't, you love me.
- You have an answer to everything.

But if she wanted to run away with me?

Are you having a joke?
Well, I also ran away with you.

But if it comes to that,
you can run away, idiot.

Okay, I'm going.

To please you.

Don't be late home.
- Oh, knock it off...

Some lettuce, Mr. Mario?
- Curly, delicious.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

You can go now.
- Good, miss

Good evening, my little Mario.

That child is so familiar.
- She can be.

I am little Mario to all the ladies.

A hairdresser is at the same time
concierge, confidant and confessor.

It must be a fascinating profession.
- Unbelievably fascinating.

An orange?

You call it an orange?
It is a basketful.

Now you must cut my hair.

Hurry up.

Quickly, Mario.
I am in a terrible rush.

Do your work, virtuoso.

With your bare hands.
- But you were in a hurry.

Yes, more, more.

No, gently, gently...
I'm not in a hurry anymore.

What's happened? Miss, madam...
She has become unwell. Colette.

Eau de cologne, yes.
- I'm choking, I'm choking.

Come here, Mario.

Does Mario do haircuts at home?
In the evening?

He loves his work so much.
- Seven of clubs.

He is lucky to have such an
understanding wife.

I will not let my husband deliver hams
to unknown ladies.

My poor darling is too ambitious
to think about women.

Which floor was he visiting?
- The third, I think.

Not the second?
- No, definitely not.

I know all the tenants.
The office is on the third left.

An old gentleman is at the front.

on the right lives Miss Grabuchat...

That would surprise me, she is 72.
And she is sick.

That's it, Mario said she was ill.
- So it is Miss Grabuchat?

Impossible! She's tight-fisted
and she doesn't have any hair.

Your husband must have had the floor
wrong. It must be Mrs. Langlois on the fourth...

Does she have a regular friend?
- Miss Langlois? More that she is a friend.

No, it's not Mrs. Langlois.
It must be the second floor.

And then he is not at home for the time
being. She eats at impossible times.

That one drinks coffee, smokes cigarettes.
And demands...

He must have styled it three or
four times and started over.

Already midnight? I must be going,
my Gilibert will be waiting for me.

But don't worry. Have a cup of
herbal tea and wait quietly.

He worships you.

And I came to cut your hair.
- And my friend just waits.

My wife too.

That's different. She doesn't give you money.
- But proof of her love.

Ah, they're not here anyway.

Will you do that hairdryer thing
again with your mouth?

This friend of yours,
might he not suddenly appear?

Brochand? No, he's married.
- I'm married as well.

That is not the same.
He is a great gentleman.

So he reads Figaro
and you have Figaro in bed.

Funny. I may not like it
from him, but I respect him.

Do that tenderising again.

Was that the buzzer?
- Quiet.

Who's there?
- Me.

Pumpkin.
- Open up.

I'll just put on my dressing gown.

Hurry, use the balcony.
- Is it him?

No, the pope. I'll deal with him.

Quickly.

His clothes.

I'm coming, pumpkin.
- About time.

Pumpkin. What's up?

What's up?
You made me wait three hours.

I couldn't go to the theater.
You should have seen my hair.

I couldn't find a hairdresser.
And suddenly I got sick.

Sick?

But you'eaten... and not alone.

No, with my mother.
- Your mother?

Yes, luckily she could come. While you
were watching naked women.

Don't get worked up. I have some
news that is certain to please you.

I never sleep away from home,
but I'm free tonight.

What about your wife?

She thinks I'm in the countryside
with my sick aunt.

Aren't you happy?
- Yes, very much.

I have climbed too high.

Are you still mad that I made you
wait three hours?

No, that you didn't call.
You just came here.

I love you when you're angry.
- Let me go.

Can I go to the bathroom?
- Of course. There is no one there.

You make me laugh.

Well?
- I'll get him out of the door.

Edmonde, where are my gray pajamas?
- In the laundry.

Will it take long? I'm freezing here.
- I'll get rid of him.

Oh yes, I have good news.

I have to go to Italy on business.
I would go alone...

but because you're such a good girl,
you can join me.

I've reserved two berths.

Why is the window open?
This is what makes you sick.

Isn't your bath too hot?
- No, it's fine.

You can go home.
Quietly, he's in the bath.

Your clothes.
- Yes, I need them.

Dress in the kitchen and take the
servants' stairs. Come back when he's gone.

No never. I feel humiliated.
- You have the role of the hero.

Oh yeah? Six hours on the balcony?
- You can get warm in my arms.

I'll return through the front door.

If the maid says: Sir, at your service.
And if you call me "pumpkin".

Okay go now.

Poor Aline. What should I tell her?

She's probably gone to the police.
Or the morgue.

She's asleep.

Is that you, honey?

Yes. If you knew what has happened,
you wouldn't scream like that.

Is it day already? What happened?

You'll never guess.

It's unbelievable.
- You're not hurt, are you?

Yes... no. You know that last night
I went to see a customer.

Yes, and then?
- And then? Guess.

How can I guess?
- Try. Use your imagination.

Gues what happened after I cut
the ladies' hair.

Her friend came.
- Exactly.

And then?

When I tell everything,
it is no longer a mystery.

He caught you when you cut her hair
and thought you were cheating on him.

Precisely.

Then he took his revolver...
- Now you're wrong.

It's not easy to think of something
to say.

Try again.
- Give me my dressing gown.

What did you do outside all night?
- Outside? You are warm.

You're freezing cold.
- And why? Guess.

He picked you up and locked you
in the unheated kitchen.

Even worse. On the balcony.
- The monster.

He pulled off all my clothes.

Were you naked?
- No, in pyjamas.

In pyjamas?
- Eh... my shirt.

Poor sweetheart. Take your clothes off,
then I'll rub you warm.

But quickly, because I have to go to
work. Duty calls.

Will you wait?

Excuse me, sir.
Can I come in?

Of course, you will be my first customer.

You're lucky to find me up early today.

Have a seat. What can I do for you?

Nothing, I just wanted to hide out.
I'm watching someone.

Pardon madam, but this is
a hair salon and no waiting room.

Here, take it.
- I only accept tips for my work.

You're a good boy,
I can tell you.

My husband will be with a certain
Edmonde on the second floor.

He'll pass by here.

Your husband? Are you Mrs. Brochand?
- How do you know that?

Hairdressers know everything.

Don't stand by the door.

Give me your revolver.
- I don't have one.

So much the better. It's you who let
your husband sleep outside the home.

What business is it of yours?
- You cannot hold on to him.

How can I if he does not
love me anymore?

Unfortunately, that woman is beautiful
and younger than me.

I already have a grown-up daughter.

How old are you?

It's serious, you have to tell me everything.
How old are you?

38 years old.
- And why are you 38 years old?

Because it's what I am, sir.
- No, because you admit it,

with all that you do,
with your dress, with your hat.

Does a woman dress like this
if her husband earns millions?

She goes to the great couturiers.

But above all, she doesn't wear her hair
long if all women wear it short.

Would that work for me?
- Why not?

You are pretty.
And your figure is not bad either.

Give me an hour...

and I will save you from those hairs
and the years that press on you.

I would do better
to go to a big hairdressers.

Don't make me laugh.
I will cut your hair with all my soul...

and it would not be in my interests
to do a poor job.

Are you free, chauffeur?
- No, I'm waiting for a lady at the hairdressers.

I will cut you "à la Mario". I want
your husband to fall at your feet.

Hello, Mario.
- Good day, Gaétan.

If you return my husband to me...

you will have the most beautiful
salon in Paris in three months' time.

We will talk about that
when my masterpiece is finished.

But don't say anything at home. Reproaches
will not get your husband back.

Only with the smile of a 20 year old.
- 20 year old...

Yes, believe in me.

Hi, dearest.
- Hi.

Had a good trip?
- Yes.

How is your aunt?
- The same. She is brave.

You can't have managed to sleep on the train?
- Yes, I found a bunk.

Are we eating soon?
- At once, pumpkin.

What are you looking at?
- What's different about you?

Nothing.
- Yes. You've had your hair cut.

Yes, just a few locks.
- Your hair is a mistake.

Isn't it me?
- Not at all.

Does it make me look old?
- No, but it makes you look like a slut.

Indeed.

I don't recognize you. You have a style...
- Just a bit more modern.

I don't like it. It is good for one's
mistress, but not for my wife.

Was my old one better?
- Yes, it was respectable.

My god, I was right.
- What about?

My wife trying to be the movie star.
It's riciculous.

Calm down. I did not know you would
respond like this. I'll let it grow again.

Five centimeters per year.
It will take ten years.

You seem to forget
that you have a daughter of 18.

Will you never forget that?
- What do you mean?

Turn around.

It is unheard of. I wonder
what Denise will say.

Papa, you're back. Oh, a visitor...
- Denise.

Yes, it's your mother.

You cut your hair.
It's great.

Your father doesn't like it.
- You're crazy.

She looks like my sister.

One young girl is enough.
And what are these clothes?

A bargain. I was at Dior.
- Are you visiting big couturiers now?

Let's look at the collections together
if dad is in Italy.

Out of the question.
Anyway, your mother is coming with me.

Yes, all those receptions this year
were too exhausting.

You need to rest. Don't argue,
I have booked the berths.

If you meet the same people
as on your honeymoon...

they'll think you have a mistress.

It is served.
- Let's go to the table.

Thank you, Saint Mario.

Hello, darling.

Why do you look angry.
What's with the suitcase?

Are you going on a trip?
Do you have bad news from your mother?

She's fine.
I'm going back to her.

Have you fallen on your head?

Then the horns that you have put on
my head have broken.

I was saying to myself:
she isn't jealous, it can't be.

What gossip did you listen to?
Tell.

You are deceiving me.
- Me? Lies.

I am affectionate towards my customers,
that's part of my profession.

And you must also take them to couturiers
in your car?

Mrs. Brochand.
You heard that from Gaétan.

You're mad to believe any of this.
I swear there's nothing between us.

Put that down. Listen.

She was unhappy. With this magic
I handed her her husband back.

I am a hairdresser for souls.
- Can you also give me back mine?

Stupid child. I am becoming the biggest
hairdresser of Paris.

Thanks to her and her acquaintances
I'm getting the most beautiful salon in the world.

A fortune is ahead of me
and I grab it by the hair.

Do you know that Geneviève is traveling
with her husband?

Yes, I met her.
She looked like she was 20. Well, 28.

Plastic surgery?
- No, just a hairdresser.

Do you have his address?
-Yes, I have it.

Mario, Avenue des Champs Elysées...

I tell you she's over 50.
- No. That young woman?

Who is this wonder?
- Mario. Champs Elysées 74.

May I have the number for
Mario the hairdresser?

No, the big Mario
on the Champs Elysées.

Elysées 0025 is constantly engaged.
Try to do something about it.

The hairdresser Mario.
The mannequins for the advertising photos?

I'll ask the management.

I don't think Mario has time.
Wait a minute, then I'll ask.

When should the mannequins come?
- Morning, around 12.30.

Let me think.
I believe I know.

Mario, a client...

Do not bother me like you're
conducting a personality investigation.

Madame the countess, you have tonight
a big dinner.

Therefore you must have the neck free.

What style is your dining room?
- Empire.

A romantic curl on the right.

And the menu?
- We start with turbot.

Horrible. Turbot inspires me
not at all.

Would you prefer lobster thermidor?
- Good. Mario, you're always right.

Always. Lobster Thermidor,
coiffure Charlotte Cordet.

And afterwards?
- Rib steak.

Rib steak.
Two little horns, perhaps.

Will your husband be there?
- Naturally.

Forget the horns.

A diadem and necklace with pearls.
- I don't have a necklace.

Ask my wife if she will loan hers
to the countess.

Who will be sitting next to you?
- On my left, a radical delegate...

A center parting...

...on my right an admiral.
- Waves in the hair.

Take the countess to booth 37
and start the creation.

I will look in soon.

Very good.

Perfect.

Who did this to you?
- Antoine.

Certainly in the style of Cleopatra.
Folly. Do you have a dog?

Yes, a sheepdog.
- A sheepdog haircut.

Hello, Mario. I would like
a cheerful hairstyle

Of course. What does your husband do?
- I am a widow.

Oh yes. Excuse me.

A crown on top, with one button
of crèpe over the left hair.

And is your Edouard back?
- Absolutely. I'm even expecting a baby.

To the children of Edouard.

What do you think?
- Very good.

Is your husband still going without you?

What does he do?
- Dancing.

In Saint Germain des Prés.

A long and sad haircut,
and especially do not wash.

This is the last time I cut you.
Tomorrow I'm going back to Frédéric.

Why? Does he pay more?
-No, less. But...

Jealous of Mario because he is your boss?
-No, because he gets all the women.

So you have shaved off your mustache
to look like him.

He has had them all.
- Except me.

But it is nice that he gives me a discount.
He doesn't forget his old customers.

Hello, Mrs. Gilibert.
- Hello, Mr. Mario.

Are you satisfied?
-The maestro no longer cuts me.

But he comes to supervise.

No, Miss Chanier...

He has strange ways.
- To make an impression.

And if you are alone with him?
- Then he talks like everyone else

But I am not often alone with me.
- Pardon?

I am not often alone with him.
- Unhappy?

Yes, but so many beautiful women
come here.

Mario darts and flutters.

Mr. Mario?
- I'm coming.

You? You do not have an appointment.
- You are free and I want to talk.

We can do that tonight.
- No, it's serious.

Brochand has broken up with me.

Great.
- What's great?

Terrible, I mean.

There must be another woman.
- His own?

Come on, I've seen her.

Long hair, no make-up
and a rag of a dress.

Sit down. What should I do?

Hello, Mrs. Mario. Is your husband here?

He is busy, but for you
he will probably have some time.

Will you wait in his office?

Tell sir that Mrs. Brochand is here.

I've been waiting here for two hours.
Can you pick me up?

If I knew who'd usurped me...
- Don't bother about such trifles.

You call that a trifle?

I'll come right away. Excuse me.
-Where are you going?

I said 'excuse me'?

It's you. You are still just as youthful.

Thanks to who?
- Thanks to me.

I have just returned from Spain
and came to you first.

Italy, Norway, Spain...
You are remaking your love duet.

My husband is becoming more and more
envious of me and all the men who court me.

If I was not a decent woman...
- Are you shocked?

Not too much.
I find it very amusing.

But my husband is terribly jealous.

Don't you think it's funny?

Will you be much longer?
- If you are in a hurry, use Gaétan.

I want you.

Then you will have to wait.

Isn't that Edmonde Dorfeuille?
- Yes.

Were you just cutting her hair?

Do you want to do my hair?
Right now?

Mario was already working on me.
- Madame goes ahead of everyone.

Even ladies of light morals,
Miss Dorfeuille.

Do you know me?

Yes, you took my place once and now
I take yours. Introduce us.

Miss Dorfeuille, Mrs. Brochand.

Did Mario give you a second youth?

Yes, because my husband left me
for a slut.

Ladies, no scandal here.

What's happening?
- No idea.

You let her insult me.

Mario gave me a trim, rejuvenated me.
He gave me back my husband.

Did you do that?
- Who's lecturing my husband?

Now I understand. This woman pays for
everything, that's it, right?

But first you had to go to bed with her.
- Say that again!

Offer Mrs. Brochand your apologies.
- Your mistress? Never!

That woman is horrid.
- Yes, that's the word.

Mrs Brochand, don't go.
I put her outside the door.

That I'd like to see.
- A slut.

I also have certain rights over you.
- Have you said it all?

No, I'm coming to what I mean.
I am his mistress. Yes, it's me.

And I am certainly not the only one.
All these ladies know something about it.

Gaétan, take her.

Look what you've done.
You have caused a scandal.

This must be punished.

From now on, you are no longer welcome
here. Find another hairdresser.

I have lost my friend because of you.

Get out.
- No, I'm not going.

Come to my office.

I'm listening. Get on with it.

I've lost Brochand because of you.
What should I do now?

You have another.
- You've found one for me?

Yes, me.

What are you talking about?
Do you want to maintain me?

Why not? Do I have no status?
Am I not someone?

Am I not worth as much as
Brochand? I'll pay you double.

Don't get overexcited. You want to pay,
when you can have me for nothing.

Exactly, I want to pay for you.
- No, but...

I want my turn at being a gentleman.

I want to be able to come in...

and on my bed, in plain sight,
to see my pyjamas.

Yes, darling.
- I'm coming for dinner tonight.

But...
- No buts.

Have Colette ready to serve the port
as soon as I call.

Good.
- Not good, very good.

And no open bottle, I want a fresh one.

Yes, darling.
- Pumpkin.

You must do my hair, Mr Mario.
- Excuse me.

Are you feeling better?
-Yes, Gaetan, thank you.

Go back to work.
- Very well, madame.

Do not upset yourself.
There is almost no man worth it.

Thank you, Gaetan. You give good advice
but propagate it elsewhere.

Do not say you're going to your mother.
You're staying.

I'm no longer willing to be deceived.
- It is for the good of us both.

So you're doing it reluctantly?
- Indeed, I've plenty to do.

I'm going.
- No, I love you.

What would I do without you?
Are those women bothering you?

Yes, of course.
- Good, I'll throw them out.

All of them?
- Except one.

Which one would that be?
- Edmonde I want to stay.

She stays?
- Yes, I'm going to keep her.

You want to give her money?
- Yes.

Should this reassure me?

A woman that you maintain,
does not love you, she deceives you.

And is that fun?
- Of course.

Whoever is deceived can become great,
behave like a master.

You've lost your mind.

Not at all. You should know that I'm
having dinner with her tonight...

Tonight you're going to eat with her?
And you say that to me?

Who else would I tell?

You're pathetic. And where do I fit
in to this story?

You have the best of it. You are
my wife, the only one I love.

Say something to convince me.

Would you like us tonight to go to
Versailles to eat and sleep...

like a couple of lovers?

Someone's waiting for you.
- Edmonde? Let her wait.

What are you going to do?
- Just wait.

Who are you calling?

Is this Mrs. Dorfeuille's house?
Colette? It's sir.

Of course, Mr. Mario.
Tell madame I won't be dining.

Why not? Because I don't want to.

Tonight? Yes, I was coming along.
I don't know what time.

Are you going to see her tonight?
- No, we're going to Versailles.

She can wait, I'm paying her,
it's her job.

Tuesday at 4 pm, after her daily routine
visit to the hairdresser...

Mrs Brochand met while dancing
at Le Cocotier

a handsome young man
with the first name Gonzales.

Our client danced three sambas,
two waltzes and five boogies...

With a daughter of 18.
- No, a young man of 25.

What else?
- Wednesday at 4pm...

Yes, the hairdresser. And then?

At 5pm she met Gonzales
on the dance floor at the Syros.

She danced for a while.

This morning she walked in the forest.
- That's more like it.

A ride around the lake
in a sports cabriolet CD.

What's that, CD?
- Corps diplomatique.

And then?

What are you telling me?
- The truth.

I cannot believe a woman
like your mother...

And Dad does not know that tonight
she dines with him at Maxim's.

I listened to her on the phone.

That "stray-sheep-haircut"
was a mistake.

Mario, I beg you, bring the sheep
back to the sheepfold.

Everyone loves you so much.
Perform a miracle.

This is more easily said than done.

Let's meet tonight at 9 o'clock
in Maxim's bar.

Do you know that gigolo?

Of course, he is an old flirtation
of mine. But when he saw mom...

Her hair made her look 40 years old.
- 40 years old?

Mario is not an illusionist. Mario rejuvenates
women, he does not make them old.

I will paint her white.

Do you know where he lives?
- In the Georges V.

He is attaché at the embassy.
Gonzales Cordoba Inovara lvavor.

Ivavor?

Come in.

Sir, it is me.
-What do you want?

I am the hotel hairdresser. The doorman
said you asked for me.

No, it's a misunderstanding.
Please leave.

Very well, but you are not
Gonzales Cordoba Inovara Ivavor?

Yes, but I haven't asked for a
hairdresser. Will you go now?

What are you looking at?
- What criminal cut your hair?

Criminal? Is it not good then?
- You can see for yourself. Oh, pardon...

No, look at it.

It's an excellent haircut.

If you're staying at home, it doesn't
matter. But if you're going out...

I have to go out.

But not in gallant company?
- Very gallant.

If I may be so free, a man of your
standing... But it doesn't concern me.

You're here now. Do you want to cut me?
Then you didn't come for nothing.

With pleasure. Take a seat.

Hurry up.
- It's how I work. Some reading?

???

It's the same thing.

Are there many sheep in South America,
sir?

Oh, very many.
But why do you ask that?

When I started in this field,
I was very interested in sheep.

Lower your head for a moment.

Hey, what are you doing? Stop.

Come in.

Madam, I called the Georges V.
Sir is on the way.

I wish I could see his head.

Only the parsley was missing from
his nostrils. He won't come anymore.

And mama will be waiting.
- He'll probably cancel on her.

She won't see us here.
- Let's have a drink.

Thanks to my diplomacy, no diplomat
will be in your mother's life.

You're terrific, Mario.

Gonzales.

He's stolen a march on us.

Mama. I'm going over there.
- No, wait.

Do you have an idea?
-A very good idea.

I'm going to talk to the head waiter.
Trust me.

I humbly greet you.
Forgive me that I am late.

Why the turban?

I'm being transferred to Calcutta.

Are you going to leave me now?

No, I'll find some way out of it.
I do not want to lose you.

Come on, don't be weird.
Let me go.

You're even more beautiful with that
white hair. A real grandmother.

I mean a marquise.

That's better. Your marquise is hungry.
Forward, to the table.

I'm dying of love. I'm hungry
for your eyes, your little hand...

your arms, your shoulders, your lips...

Here you go sir.
Snacks and hors d'oeuvres.

Put them down. We'll call you.

I haven't been drinking and yet
I'm drunk.

Drunk of you, your sparkling eyes.

Did you call?
- No, go away.

Drunk from your wavy hair.
- My horse? Oh, my hair.

So you like my new hairstyle?

Do not talk to me about hairdressers.
I hate those people.

Talk about yourself.

Or no, say nothing, so that in the silence
I can hear the ticking of your heart.

Artichokes with cream sauce.
- I did not call.

Madam will be hungry.

Sir...

Oh, pardon. A center-parting for sir,
and a calf's head for Mrs.

I do not like you anymore, sorry.

Don't cry, he is not worth it.

Yes, I'm just on time
to keep you on the right path.

I saved your soul by the
exposure of the skull of that gigolo.

What do you meddle in?
- What concerns me.

You can't blame me for anything.

Can a woman used to being 38
be 20 again easily?

Did I drive you in his arms?
- Indeed.

It is terrible that you gave me
this poor, bare neck...

defenseless to the caresses
of men.

You should have resisted.

Can you resist if you are only 20?

You should have thought about your husband,
and your daughter.

You do not have to give me a lecture.

Geneviève.
- Don't call me by that name.

Do not forget that I am Mrs. Brochand.
- Do not forget that yourself.

Allow me.

I will tell dad how wonderful you were.
He has a lot of influence, you know.

I understand all those women.
You have their lot on your hands.

Give these a try.

Please. But give them back,
because I need them.

You're a joker.
She won't get bored with you.

My wife?
- No, Edmonde.

How do you know that?

Hairdressers know a lot,
but young girls understand everything.

You're different from those little ones
that I've courted.

If you weren't married,
I'd turn you into...

the Napoleon of the hair.
- The Napoleon of the hair?

Why was Napoleon divorced?
- Because he had no children.

I don't have children either.

Who's there?
- It's me. Sir.

Is it you, pumpkin?
I'll put on my dressing gown

I have heard that before.
It takes a long time.

I think you're allowing sir...

What a surprise.
I did not expect you, pumpkin.

I blame only you for that.
You should always expect me.

I was in bed. I am ill.
- You've eaten.

A small bite...
- With your mother.

Luckily she came...
- While I was at Maxim's

Come in, young man. The women are
warm, but the nights are cold.

Gaetan? In my pajamas?
- I can explain it.

I could kill you.
But no, I've made it.

I have a loyal wife,
a mistress who is deceiving me...

a young girl who worships me.

There is one thing missing:
a medal. Good night.

Edmonde...
- Yes, pumpkin.

No, cuckold.

You have to do one more thing for me.
If you leave tomorrow...

buy a book for me.

What book?
- The life of Napoleon.

He's crazy.

I left the president
of the Council waiting for you...

a princess, the Duchess De Mareuil
and three banker women.

You are a darling, but stand still.
You're making me dizzy.

Do I have to cut you
like a young girl in bloom...

or with a chicken's tail?
- If it takes a long time.

Leave those wizened duchesses
to stew in their own juice.

A hairstyle from Mario
is as good in Paris as in Rio.

We are a pair of poets, Denise.
- Have you already talked to your wife?

Yes, eh... Tomorrow. And your parents?

They have no choice.
My mother has already forgiven you

and my father is with the minister
talking about your decoration.

I'm blushing.

Is it really not possible before?
- No, Tuesday.

Can I get an appointment today
with Mr. Mario?

Not today.
You have never been before?

No. I've just arrived in the country.

Has anyone recommended you?
- No.

Then you have to wait for your turn.

Shall I book you in?
Is Saturday at 3pm okay?

Then I'll be gone again.
I have to go to my husband in Blouk.

That's too bad.
Is your husband there an official?

In a way. I am Mrs. Fung Tai,
Empress of Adgar.

Excuse me, majesty.
Follow me.

Take a seat. I'll call Mario.

I have purchased all the books
about Napoleon.

What an amazing life!
I like that man.

The wife of the emperor is here.
- Joséphine?

No, the Empress of Adgar.

May I, Denise?
- I won't stand in the way of an empire.

But for an empress...
Go ahead, my little Mario.

Mario, at last.

Mrs Vatrin, I am in a hurry.
Everything all right?

With me, but my sister
is very sick.

What a shame, I'll be with you.
One moment.

She is one of my best customers. Last
month, she bought 200,000F of perfume.

But an empress...

Mario, you have to go to my sister.
- I really cannot. The Empress...

There is not a minute to lose.
My sister is dying.

She wants you to cut her hair
one last time.

That's kind of her.
But the Empress...

Mario, let your heart speak. Here is
a check for 100,000 francs.

And another blank check. If the first
is not enough, you can fill it out yourself.

If we are not too late.
- One second, ma'am.

Your Majesty, I have had a call from
the bed of a dying customer...

she doesn't want to stand in front
of St. Peter in curlers.

I will give her the hair of an angel
and return.

I will give her the last pleasure
in this life.

If your majesty wants to wait...
it takes a quarter of an hour at most.

Is it far?
- No, in my hotel. We can take my car.

I'm taking mine.
With two cars, we'll go faster.

Quiet.
- Is she asleep?

What are you doing?
- I'm locking us in.

Alone at last.
- And your dying sister?

Where is she?
- I don't have a sister at all.

I have to dine tonight
at the Greek embassy.

This was the only way to ensure
that you would give me a haircut.

This is a repulsive trap.
I will...

No point, I've cut the cord.

And if you call, no one will come.
I've sent everyone away.

Go ahead, cut me.

That is an arbitrary deprivation of
liberty. - Indeed, it is arbitrary...

but well paid.
Here, take this ring.

What, do you give it to me?
- Yes, give it to your wife.

Take this too.
- No....

And to work.
- No.

You can only leave when I'm beautiful.
- Then I will never leave.

Don't be so cheeky.

Take this bracelet too.

He's been gone for three hours. The
Empress has been mummified.

He must have had an accident.
- I don't know.

I have been waiting for two hours.
Bring me sandwiches and chocolate.

Sandwiches and chocolate milk
for Mrs. Mounier.

Mrs. Mario, would you please
call my house...

that they should put the children
to bed? - Very good, Mrs. Sofinger.

I'm terribly sorry, majesty.

Do you think he will ever come back?
- I hope so.

Look. I am too polite to say what I
think, because I have a big heart. Now...

And now you're going to do my feet.
- I am not a pedicurist.

Then you become one. I want the caress
of your hands on my toes.

Open immediately.
- What is that?

Don't be afraid, that's my husband.

Why are you locked in with my wife?
- I don't know, I...

Shut your mouth. So you are her lover?
- Me? No, I'm not...

But honey, this is Mario the hairdresser.
- Oh, this is Mario.

The renowned, the unique, the famous
Mario, who makes all women crazy.

About whom they all talk.
Figaro here, Figaro there.

He rejuvenates, he seduces,
encourages libertinage.

I'll turn to...
- Quiet, Satan.

The man whose fingers make them tremble.

Mario, the wigmaker of ecstasy.
And so, my little Mario ...

as they call you...

I am going to kill you.
- Why do you want...

Enough, barber.

Let's see those hands that give
our women a fainting fit.

My hands are completely innocent

Damn it, my wife's rings.
No, no explanation.

What's this?
- It's me.

What are you doing there?

Does your missus like jewelry?

Here, jewelry. Rings, a bracelet.
But keep your head down.

Ladies, dear clients,
dear advocate...

the red ribbon that now adorns my chest,
matches...

with the red on my face
now that you've given me this honour.

And even if all the blushes finish up
in my cheeks

I accept this grand gesture
of the French Republic.

With this award has the minister of health

chosen through me to honour
all the beautiful women of France.

It is not a cross for my chest,
but a ribbon for their hair.

Mario, as your oldest customer,
as a customer, I mean...

I say: Bravo, bravo.

There are no old customers with you
anymore. Take a look at us, look at me.

We have children's faces. You have
overcome old age and ugliness...

and elevated beauty to an institution.
- You exaggerate.

Who could have thought that the little
Mario would become this great Mario...

and that the government of the
republic would decorate this chest...

on which so many humble and crowned
heads have rested.

Ladies, I kiss you all...

in the person of Benjamin,
all of my clients ...

Miss Brochand.

Have you spoken to your wife?
- Later.

Hurry up,
My parents leave tomorrow.

I have already, thank you.

A cookie?
- No, I prefer champagne.

Satisfied, Mrs. Mario?

Hopefully it is proof
of good behavior.

That girl is always bothering him.
-A child.

She seems to know what she wants.

I am so happy for you
and your wonderful husband.

It is all thanks to you.

He owes the award from my husband

to the request of our daughter.

Your husband does a lot of work
in our family.

I've had the idea for a hairstyle
that will cause a revolution.

What is it?
- The doctor is waiting in your office.

I will tell you at once.

Doctor, I'm Mario.
- Hello, Mr. Mario.

Call me Mario. Just like when you've
reached a certain level

you would just say Pasteur.

What is it, Mario?
- It's my wife.

Is she sick?
-No, but she will be.

Edmonde? Are you here?

I just wanted to congratulate you.

I'm going. My ambassador is waiting.
- Pumpkin.

Is that your wife?
- No, an ex-mistress.

You don't try to disguise it.

We have, among colleagues,
no professional secrecy.

Colleagues?
- You prolong life, I the youth.

But you said your wife was going to
get sick. I don't understand this.

I will explain it to you.

Excuse me. Mum says she has to go.
- I'm coming, honey.

Very charming. Your daughter?
- No, my fiance.

Your fiance? But you were talking
about your wife.

I will not have a wife in an hour.

Is she going to die?
- Very nearly.

When I tell her we're going to divorce,
it'll be a terrible blow for her.

You must take care of her.
- I have no medicine for grief.

She could commit suicide.
- Did you think she is armed?

Yes... With courage.

My wife was a great woman
at the time we were married...

but now she is no longer at my
level. I am too big for her.

You are a character.
But you can count on me.

I would even like to congratulate you.
- Thank you, Doctor.

I'll take you to the bar.
From there, let me call you.

And now we must go, honey.
- Mario will be angry.

He has himself to blame for making
you so beautiful.

Let's say goodbye.
Mrs. Mario...

Are you already going?

Mario, our friends are leaving.
- So soon?

We'll be leaving tomorrow morning.

It's thanks to you that women are
still with their husbands.

But Denise can stay?
- If she doesn't come home too late.

Thank you very much, madam.

I need to talk to you.
- I'm listening.

Let's go to our apartment.
I have to speak to you alone.

Fine, that does not happen often.

Sit down.

Stay sitting. Wait a second.

There's a cushion.

I am not sick.
- Poor sweetheart.

When I used to shear sheep,
I made sure they did not bleed.

Are you going to shear a sheep?
- A ewe.

If you have something to say,
say it.

No, you're getting upset.

Here, smelling salts.
- You're getting on my nerves. Say it.

Well then, Aline. I want a divorce.

Divorce? You and me?

Me and you.

Is that all? You scared me.

Don't you understand me? Divorce.

I understood you. It is fine by me.

You're not very shocked.

I already expected it.

And I have a famous neurologist ready...

He's costing me 5000F for the consulation..

He's expecting you to faint
and you don't even cry.

Sorry I don't have any more tears.

I have to laugh at you now.
Who do you want to marry?

If you want to divorce, you must want
to remarry. What is her name?

My poor boy.
Denise Brochand?

What kind of a life will you have?
You could be her father.

Shut up. You are jealous,
that is why you strike at my heart.

Oh, do I do that?
- Hell yes. I am sensitive...

and I get breathlessness at the least
emotion. Here it is, already.

I'm suffocating. Air, air...

I'll get your doctor.
He won't have come for nothing?

That she leaves me alone at such a
moment... What an egoist.

Are you that doctor?
You are needed by the boss.

It must be poor Mrs. Mario.
I'm going at once.

A double cognac.

Where is she? Where is the sick person?
- Here.

Where?
- It's me.

You?
- Yes, she hurt me.

Where?
- In my sense of self-worth.

What is it? Are you ill?
- My soul is torn apart.

I'll examine you.

Open your mouth. Stand up.

They still do this?

When I had whooping cough as a child,
the doctor did this then.

Medicine has not progressed very
much compared to hairdressing.

Is it serious?
- Tachycardia.

What is that?
- A heart that skips a beat.

A symptom of overambitious
high flyers.

But my wings ...
- I am not a veterinarian.

What, are you wimping out?
Don't let yourself give up.

What can I do with this tachycardia?

Go talk to the doctor.

First of all, he has a need of
strict care.

Are you going to marry the big man?
- Yes, doctor.

Then I will tell you...
- A lot of distraction?

On the contrary, a lot of rest. No visits,
no receptions, no dates.

No traveling.
And certainly no nightclubs.

And my diet?

Noodles in water, cooked lettuce
and prunes.

I advise you the same diet.
First, it's simple...

And you can't go feast in the presence
of a patient who can't eat anything else.

That won't be easy in a restaurant.
- No going to restaurants...

You must eat at home.

Here is the recipe.
And be careful, very careful.

It won't be easy at first,
but you understand me:

no exertion.

You don't think I,m marrying
an impotent old man?

But my heart is skipping.
- Leave that to me. Stand up.

And now more important things. Have
your told your wife and you're free now?

Nice, then I can tell my parents.
And then we will start living.

I want to see everything,
we'll go to all the clubs.

You can take me to wrestling and
boxing and at night we'll eat onion soup.

Onion soup, every night?
You want me dead, Denise.

If I marry a famous man,
I want to be seen with him.

A father figure? No, never.

A father figure? But that is true.

Denise, we were mistaken.

We both fantasized.

You as a young girl, were attracted
by a great man like me...

and I enjoyed the great vanity...

with my head in the clouds...

but not with both feet set
on the ground.

And so this Napoleon of
the hair, this big imbecile, says...

consider the 40 years age difference.

Denise, deal with young people
your own age.

With them you will have fun.

I'd have started nagging,
until you said:

that hairdresser, what a killjoy.

I do not see our knight.
- He must have found a young lady.

Why do you think that?
- The face of his wife. Look.

Mario, dance with me.
- No, with me.

No, I'm busy.

Will you grant me this dance,
Mrs. Mario?

Our last dance?
- The last one for tonight.

While they're dancing, we'll go as
newlyweds secretly on honeymoon.

But I thought...
- Forget that.

Pack your suitcase,
then I'll get the car out of the garage...

and then on the way to Provence.

Just the two of us?
- Just us two.

And what are you going to find there?
- A cure.

What cure?
- A cure in simplicity.

And then I'll do something I have
never done before: your hairstyle.

Yes, there is one woman in France
that you have never cut, mine.

Do you think you'll have time?
- I'll have it.