Original subtitles

2 Birdie?

-Ah! Hi! It's Birdie. -(UNCERTAINLY) Hello.

(ENGLISH ACCENT) I'm so sorry. I can't quite place you.

Oh, no, that's OK. It's Angie.

I'm...I'm Dom's ex. I've seen your social media.

-Angie! Wow! Hi! -(LAUGHS)

I...I've been telling Dom we need to get together.

Dom is great, but he's really quite hopeless

at organising get-togethers.

Then we'll just have to go round him.

Oh. (LAUGHS) Yeah.

Oh, God, please tell me you're not feeding that bird.

I've been hoping it'll cark it.

Aw. Don't say that.

I love Turtle.

The bird's name is Turtle?

Oh, he's not ours.

Dom named him because he had a pet when he was a kid

that was a turtle called Bird, so...

-Can't argue with that. -(LAUGHS) No.

It's just so loud in the mornings, that's all.

Mmmm. Yeah.

Sort of majestic, that squawk, really.

(IMITATES TURTLE SQUAWKING)

-(BIRDIE LAUGHS) -Shit, was that a bit loud?

Not loud enough, if you ask me.

Let's catch up soon, yeah?

Can't wait.

-It's nice to meet you. -(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

BOTH: Ooh!

I'm so sorry. I-I...

I didn't mean to go for the lips.

(BOTH LAUGH)

(CLEARS HER THROAT)

ANGIE: We went to do this hug

and there was, like, this weird lip-brushing kiss.

You kissed? You actually kissed?

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

It was funny.

I don't think that was an accident.

-It was. -Mm-mm.

Maybe Birdie only knows how to connect through her sexuality.

-(BABY GURGLES) -Oh, no.

Oly, we're not gonna do

this passive-aggressive 'hate other women' thing.

I'm happy for your dad.

How enlightened of you.

Hmm, yeah. He's punching above his weight.

So you and Dad's new lover are friends now?

ANGIE: Yep.

We are bosom buddies.

-Soul sisters. -OLY: Right.

(BABY GURGLES)

Oh!

-Kick! Kick, kick, kick! -Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick!

Well, some of us actually have to have dinner with her.

OK. Well, enjoy that.

I definitely won't.

Keep an open mind.

She's nice.

Maybe a little bit too nice.

She might try kiss me.

(LAUGHS)

(GROOVY MUSIC PLAYS)

Your dad told me that you've been looking for a mentor.

Is that right? You did some networking?

Yep.

Didn't go anywhere, though.

Reema got an internship.

-Oly could have. -I didn't.

Who can guess the secret ingredient?

-Easy. Nutmeg. -Incorrect. Bzzz!

-Turmeric. -Who puts Turmeric in a stir-fry?

My mum puts turmeric in literally everything.

-DOM: Yeah. -Is it turmeric?

Buh-bom!

The correct ingredient is...

-Tamari. -DOM: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner. (LAUGHS)

-(SANTI CHUCKLES) -DOM: On top again.

I've got our next Wayside Chapel fundraiser coming up,

if you want to come to that, maybe meet some people.

Professor Neha Tiewari is speaking.

Ooh. Oly loves her.

Dad, I have a baby, remember?

Can't just swan in and out of fundraisers, like...

-DOM: Fair enough. -Bring Jacinda along.

The family/work juggle resonates

with so many successful women.

-Totally. -BIRDIE: Yeah.

Show them that you can have it all.

DOM: Yeah.

BIRDIE: We've just about locked down the details.

Let me show you...

-Here we go. -VINCE: Food.

Excellent paella, Santi's favourite.

-Bloody colonisers. -Right on cue.

My people don't have the best record with colonising either.

-Thank you, sis. -Sorry.

They should have Picá del Sabor instead.

Eh, oath, bro.

-That's your food truck, yeah? -Mm-hm.

-Empanadas. -BIRDIE: Hmm.

You guys should do, like, a chorrillana-flavoured empanada.

Like, it's such a popular dish these days.

Like, like, chorrillana?

Oh, dude, it's like... it's, like...

..all this stuff, it's, like, meat and egg

and, like, chips.

Yeah. We've got our menu sorted, bro.

-Thanks, though. -Sick. Yeah.

Have you worked many fundraisers?

-We can do it. -Yeah?

Totally.

OK. Consider yourself booked.

-(READS QUIETLY) -(SPANISH RADIO PLAYS QUIETLY)

OK, so...

I kind of overpromised, but...

(CONTINUES READING QUIETLY)

-This is... -I know.

It's a lot, and I'm sorry, but...

This is amazing, this is amazing! (GASPS)

It's a whole new market. Ah!

We should think about rebranding.

-Like a new logo? -Yes! No. Yes!

A new logo, but it has to be something authentic,

you know, to get the ricachones all excited.

(GASPS) Would you?

-Yeah. I can think... -Yeah?

(SQUEALS AND LAUGHS) Yes!

OK, OK.

-Go! -OK.

(RAP SONG IN SPANISH PLAYS)

DOM: Oh.

Never been on a date that required a life jacket.

-(LAUGHS) Never say never. -(DOM CHUCKLES)

You are aware the last sea vessel I owned

completely sank?

Are you nervous?

-No. -(BIRDIE CHUCKLES)

Oly seemed quiet at dinner.

Maybe it was too soon.

I thought she opened up by the end.

Mm. Don't know.

Oh. Who's nervous now?

BIRDIE: Well...

Our first meeting wasn't exactly the best way

to start a friendship.

No, it wasn't.

But people can change.

She'll come round, because she's great

and you're great and we're great.

BIRDIE: Whoa. Whoa!

-I meant to do that. -(GASPS) Jesus Christ!

-Ready? Three, two, one. Oh! -(LAUGHS)

-(DOM GROANS) -Oh, sorry.

-DOM: Wait, same time, or opposite? Opposite. -Opposite. There we- sorry, sorry.

(RADIO PLAYS QUIETLY)

RADIO: Polyakova is the founding director of the Project...

ANGIE: Hm.

"Birdie's special honey."

Mmm.

..working group.

She's also a fellow in the...

Not so special.

SANTI: Like, you know, really focus on these events that you do.

OLY: I think J worked against me at the networking thing

because my focus was split.

So, let me get this straight - you agree with Birdie now?

-OLY: I think so. -(DOOR CLOSES)

Agree about what?

Oh. Nothing.

Tell me!

OK. Um...

Birdie is introducing me to some of her clients.

She's hosting a fundraiser,

and she says that I should take Jacinda.

That's great.

You don't need to hide that from me.

OK. I just didn't want you to think I was picking teams.

(SCOFFS) Oh, God.

I like Birdie!

Even if I didn't,

I'd be wanting you to exploit her connections.

(LAUGHS) OK.

So, who is going to the fundraiser?

I don't know. Not sure yet. -Yeah.

Uh, your washing's over there, darling,

and yours, Santi.

(WHISPERS) I think I'm welcome here now.

OLY: Yeah, a little bit too welcome. I'm sorry.

SANTI: Don't be.

God, you don't have to whisper on my account.

MAN: Well, it's certainly true that the United States has shifted

to see the rise of China, the return of China to global power,

along with Russia and the two big foreign trade states

as the most dangerous...

(SANTI AND OLY MOAN NEARBY)

(BOTH MOAN)

Mum probably can't hear us.

-You sure? -Yeah.

OK.

(BOTH MOAN)

-(TURNS UP VOLUME) -(OLY AND SANTI MOAN LOUDLY)

..the biases, agendas...

(LOUD MOANING CONTINUES)

(MOANING INTENSIFIES)

..so, and the same thing in medicine...

(SONG IN SPANISH PLAYS)

SANTI: OK, this is it.

This is as authentic as it gets.

I love it!

I look old.

I would call it...traditional.

That's what I was going for.

218 But, Ita, you're gonna be the face of Picá del Sabor.

Exactly. You're gonna be famous!

Yeah.

Fine. Use it.

But I no happy.

Oh, uh, one more thing.

We wouldn't do a chorrillana empanada, would we?

No!

Thought so.

(BIRDIE LAUGHS)

Whoo-hoo!

Look at us now!

-DOM: Oh, yeah. -Oh.

(BOTH SIGH)

I think I might put kayaking on my Brover profile.

No! This is our thing.

Well...what if Oly wants to join us too?

What do you know? No, don't tell me. No, tell me.

Tell me!

Just that the word 'inspirational'

may have made an appearance.

(LAUGHS)

Well.

Maybe stir-fry needs to become a weekly thing.

Ooh! Ow!

-Did you grunt at me? -No, I said 'ow'.

Oh. OK. Did I hurt you?

Not yet.

(BOTH LAUGH)

(STUDENTS CHATTER)

MATIAS: Have a lovely day, guys. Enjoy.

-You too. -Thanks, Dad.

-(LAUGHS) That was weird. -ANGIE: Ooh!

-Hi! -Oh, this is nice.

It's so soft. Mmm!

-(OLY LAUGHS) -Where did you get it?

Um, Birdie was getting rid of it.

Oh! Wow. Expensive hand-me-down.

It's cashmere.

Wow. Are there no boundaries with this woman?

Mum, you...

You said that you weren't gonna do

the passive-aggressive 'hate other woman' thing.

Can't you see what she's doing?

It's got a hole in it.

Oh. Are you wearing her socks and undies too?

(BOTH LAUGH)

Well, I hope the event goes really smoothly for you.

And I hope that you exploit all of the opportunities

that this very well-connected woman provides.

Enjoy.

Is she... What the fuck was that?

-(QUIET CHATTER) -(GLASSWARE CLINKS)

(ROSA SIGHS) Show me the money.

273 (EXCLAIMS HAPPILY)

(ROSA LAUGHS AND SPEAKS SPANISH)

Tuck it in, tuck it in, tuck it in.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

Tuck it in, tuck it in.

(CONTINUES IN SPANISH AND SQUEALS HAPPILY)

Perfection. (LAUGHS)

-(ALL EXCLAIM) -Awesome!

Bernie, yours is in the truck.

I don't need a T-shirt.

(ROSA SIGHS)

I'm Camila. I'm running ops this afternoon.

Yes, good afternoon.

You're really only serving empanadas?

Well, we have seven flavours.

Seven flavours of street food?

(LAUGHS UNENTHUSIASTICALLY)

Where are you from?

-Double Bay. -Oh, no, I mean originally.

-I was born here. -Oh.

But my parents are from Spain.

295 ..top shelf.

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) I don't speak Spanish.

Um, you've used one of these before, yeah?

-Yes, of course. -Good.

Catering's on channel two.

And you'll need to get all your staff to the PDA before doors.

(LAUGHS) Yes.

OK, well, you heard the woman.

We need to get all the staff PDA before doors.

-Now! -'BDA' or 'PDA'?

-(LAIDBACK MUSIC PLAYS) -(GUEST CHATTER)

You OK?

I'm fasting.

Being around all this food is ruining my life.

I'll fast with you, in solidarity.

You would do the same for me.

I really wouldn't.

(OLY LAUGHS)

So, you ready to smash this thing?

Yeah. Ready to smash.

-Ready to smash! -Yeah.

Gotta keep up with my graphic design king.

This logo looks so cool!

-Aw. -Aw.

Thanks. You look cool.

-(BABY BABBLES) -Thanks.

Oh, she needs a change.

Here, let me take her. You should start shmoozing.

-Really? -Santiago, I need you.

-Hold on. -It's OK, I got it.

-You sure? -Yes.

-Hey, happy shmoozing. -Vamos!

(BABY GRIZZLES)

-(BABY CRIES) -Shh.

I know it must not seem like it right now,

but one day you will be able to tell your kindy friends

that you had your nappy changed in the same place

that Professor Neha Tiewari ate Ita's empanadas.

So, it is only up from here, kiddo.

-Oop. Oop. -(GRIZZLES)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Oly. There you are, my superwoman.

Hello! Come on.

There's someone here I know who wants to meet you.

Oh.

BIRDIE: Professor Neha Tiewari,

this is Oly, who I've been telling you about.

-OLY: Hi! -Oly.

I have heard so much about you.

-Oh, well, yes, I'm quite... -(GRIZZLES)

(LAUGHS) ..quite famous for raising

the next generation of proletariat workers.

-(BIRDIE LAUGHS) -(BABY CRIES)

OLY: Ooh. Right on cue.

BIRDIE: Shh. It's OK.

She's very enthusiastic

about your work on global education.

Oh, don't worry, I have twins.

But I'm sure one is more than enough to keep you on your toes.

-Oh, yeah. (LAUGHS) -(BABY VOMITS)

Oh!

-Oh. -OLY: Oh.

-God. -OK.

-It's OK. -Yep. Sorry.

-Ooh. -Um...

(BIRDIE MURMURS)

Um, I need to take you away to meet some people before we start.

-I'm so sorry. -No need to apologise.

-Lovely to meet you. -You too.

-So nice. -BIRDIE: Bye.

I'll see you later.

Just through here.

I'm glad I was covered in spew for it.

(BABY BABBLES)

(BABY CRIES)

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Yes, you want to sleep, I know you do.

-(BABY CONTINUES CRYING) -I know you do.

Shh.

Multitasking for the win.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

I'm, like, the CEO of baby logistics.

Mmm. Well, I hope you're not kidding,

because I am in serious need of help,

if you're looking for another job.

Really?

What is it that you do?

Well, I'm in foreign aid,

but we're desperately hunting for a new babysitter.

It's mainly school pick-ups, get their homework done.

It's nothing out of the ordinary.

-If you're interested... -Yeah.

-What's your rate? -Pretty standard.

-25 an hour? -Yep.

Lifesaver. Call me.

OK. Thank you.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Superwoman.

-Santiago. -Yeah.

Make sure everyone takes a napkin.

I want every rich person wiping their face

with these napkins.

SANTI: Claro, claro.

Rosa?

Hector! Hi.

It's been so long.

I know. What are you doing here?

(SPEAKS SPANISH) We're playing tonight.

-HECTOR: Mm-hm. -ITA: Rosa!

Who is he?

A friend.

I bet.

ROSA: I should go.

410 CAMILA ON RADIO: Rosa, are you there?

Yes, no, I'm here. I'm here.

I've been trying you for the last five minutes.

What are your vegetarian options?

Yes, of course.

So, we have chilli mushroom, we have onion and we have cheese.

Go again.

I said we have chilli... Can you...

Can you hear me?

Copy?

-Copy. -Why is she using the radio?

This place not big.

Rosa?

Put the microphone closer to your mouth.

I can't understand your accent.

I said

we have chilli mushroom,

we have onion and we have cheese.

I wasn't gonna eat one.

It's OK.

You're amazing.

I mean, your dedication is amazing.

-To your religion. -Huh?

I'm intermittent-fasting.

Did you think it was a Muslim thing?

Nah.

Maybe. But who cares?

You're doing something you believe in.

How cool are the serviettes?

(BIRDIE CLEARS HER THROAT)

Ladies and gentlemen,

now it is my great honour

to introduce our guest, Professor Neha Tiewari.

Thank you, Birdie.

And thank you, Wayside Chapel,

for having me on this gorgeous afternoon...

(BABY CRIES)

..and allowing me to conjure

all the money from all these...

(CONTINUES CRYING)

..pockets, clutches and tote bags before me...

(WAILS)

..and allowing me direct it

to such a vital and compassionate cause.

(BABY QUIETENS)

And we mustn't forget that while need is universal...

(BABY RESUMES CRYING)

..it's also very close to home.

(BABY WAILS)

(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)

Sorry.

NEHA: As you may know, my work has taken me

to some of the most challenging communities in the world.

(QUIET, MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(MUTED AQUATIC SOUNDSCAPE)

(MUTED AQUATIC SOUNDSCAPE CONTINUES)

(WHALE SONG)

(VOICE ECHOES) You are my support animal.

(WHALE SONG)

I am Superwoman.

(WHALE SONG)

(SOUNDSCAPE FADES)

What is happening?

Interestingly enough, I have been developing my own app,

which is short for 'application'.

-And... -(BIRDIE CHUCKLES)

-Thanks to this one here... -(PHONE BUZZES)

..we've already got some potential investors lined up.

Dad. Dad, something is really wrong.

-(UNEASY SOUNDSCAPE) -OLY: I'm seeing snakes.

I'm seeing snakes, Dad. Please help me.

(PLASTIC BIN BAG RUSTLES)

That hurt.

Why did you do the fast with me today?

Solidarity, I guess.

You know we're just friends, yeah?

We can't be a thing.

I'm playing the long game anyway.

Joking.

You've been so generous. Thank you.

Goodnight, guys. Have a good night.

-Hey, Rosa, your radio, please. -ROSA: Ah, yes, yes.

I told you I don't speak Spanish.

Do you prefer French? (SPEAKS FRENCH)

-OK. Bye. -Oh.

Portuguese? Oh. OK.

Tchau-tchau.

(SPEAKS PORTUGUESE)

Rosa? Come in, Rosa.

You put this whole thing together.

Come in, come in.

-Actually, it was Santi. -Oh, thanks, Rosa.

OK, it was me.

(ALL LAUGH AND CHATTER)

-Ready? -Teamwork!

-That's great! -ROSA: Thank you!

ITA: Thank you.

-(ROSA LAUGHS) -Yeah!

(STRANGE AQUATIC SOUNDSCAPE)

-(WHALE SONG) -(EXCLAIMS)

(STRANGE AQUATIC SOUNDSCAPE CONTINUES)

(BABBLES)

(LAUGHS) My baby is a whale.

Your baby's not a whale, darling.

It's Jacinda.

(IMITATES WHALE SONG AND LAUGHS)

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(OLY IMITATES WHALE SONG)

(OLY LAUGHS) My baby is a whale!

The test confirms Oly's ingested psilocybin mushrooms.

It's highly unlikely they would have

made it into your bloodstream when you fed her.

Highly unlikely?

We're gonna monitor you both overnight to be safe,

and we recommend not breastfeeding

for the next 36 to 48 hours,

while the drug exits your system.

But she doesn't take a bottle.

You'll find a way.

What if she starves?

She won't. Is there anything else?

No, that's everything. Thank you very much.

Mum?

(WHISPERS) What are we gonna do?

Keep drinking.

(STRANGE AQUATIC SOUNDSCAPE RESUMES)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

Hey, Mama.

How was Vince?

(SIGHS)

I can't let him down just now.

(SIGHS)

Can I have a sip of that?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

You are happy with your decision, then.

Clearly.

What was I supposed to do?

I have never told you how to practise your religion, beta.

It's your choice.

(SIGHS)

Exhibit A.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Meanwhile, you eat steak like it's going out of fashion.

(LAUGHS)

Can't you make an exception for Vince?

Hm?

He sounds like a darling.

He is.

Mm-mm-mm!

-That's enough. -(GROANS)

(CHUCKLES)

Compatibility isn't always about faith.

DOM: Turns out her surname was 'Ankles'.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Ooh, I have a V-mail from Oly.

Oh, poor Oly.

-Who says 'V-mail'? -(SCOFFS)

OLY: Dad, Dad, something is really wrong.

I'm seeing snakes.

I'm seeing snakes, Dad. Please help me.

I think you left...

..your special honey at the house.

(WHISPERS) Oh, God, no.

And I think Oly's tripping balls.

Oh, no. Oh, God, Dom.

Why would you leave it anywhere near her?

I'm sorry! I thought that we...

-Well, is she OK? -DOM: I don't know!

(QUIETLY) Peace at last, eh?

-(BABY BABBLES) -Yeah.

-(PHONE BUZZES) -(WHISPERS) Peace at last.

(CONTINUES BUZZING)

(BUZZING STOPS)

(RESUMES BUZZING)

(BUZZING STOPS)

Mm, yes.

('BOOM' BY NGAIIRE)

♪ That was how we did it

♪ Shootin' up a hundred

♪ Drivin' without a permit

♪ Flatline any minute

♪ And we never gave a damn 'cause we up in our feelings

♪ Pull up hell or heaven Late night seven eleven

♪ Screamin' in the parking lot

♪ Tryin' to get each other shot

♪ Yeah, remember that's how we did

♪ Don't forget my name

♪ Don't you, don't you forget it.

♪ The space on your chest

♪ Where my head

♪ Used to rest...

♪ Don't forget my name

♪ Don't you, don't you forget it

♪ And the place we met when the bombs

♪ they go off

♪ And they go boom in the morning

♪ Boom in ya bed Boom for the lovin'

♪ And the weed that we shared

♪ Boom for the runnin'

♪ Boom back again

♪ Soon cease fire Soon break bread

♪ Soon we will tire for the things that were said. ♪