Original subtitles

2 ('MAJADERA' BY LA-33')

MAN: Hey, guys. Welcome.

Please, Father. Help them.

(SONG ENDS)

If you don't want to be here,

I won't be offended if you leave.

ROSA: No, we can't.

Because his mother-in-law...

No, not my mother! No. (LAUGHS) No.

His last wife's mother, yeah?

She's out there, standing guard.

PRIEST: Oh. So...

Can...

Can we just sit here, please?

And...contemplate?

(CHUCKLES)

Sure.

(SPORTS COMMENTARY IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

PRIEST: Oh, come...

Ah. Sorry.

(COMMENTARY CONTINUES)

Are you watching... Is that...

Yes!

-Goooooooal! -(BOTH LAUGH)

27 (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Gooooooooal!

(COMMENTARY CONTINUES)

PRIEST: Mmm.

(STOPS VIDEO)

You OK?

Oh, good morning.

Morning.

-You hungry? -Yeah.

Good morning, puchs!

Mwah!

-Hey, um... -Yeah?

I was flipping through...

This is a very English-teacher-y thing to do,

but I was flipping through this the other day

and I bookmarked a poem for you.

Oh! Thank you.

Yeah. Oh, you don't have to read it now.

-That's a gift. -Oh. OK.

Thank you.

Mum, cooking? Thank you.

Yeah. That's all right, darling.

Thought we needed a bit of a reset.

We've all been a bit down.

Well, I have.

So I thought, "A positive breakfast."

Reema got an internship with Tanya Plibersek.

Oh, that's great!

-Yeah. -ANGIE: Isn't it?

Yeah.

It's great for her.

She was focused and I wasn't, so she impressed and I didn't.

So good.

You mean because you have a baby and she doesn't, so she won?

Bowie.

You should be happy for your friend.

Life's not about competition, Oly. And you win.

You have a baby.

I just can't be here right now.

SANTI: Oly...

(BABY GURGLES)

Do you want me to...

I might, um...

I'm just gonna...

That was insensitive.

Katerina's already put up pictures on Instagram

of her with another guy.

-ANGIE: Ohh. -(DRAWS A DEEP BREATH)

(SIGHS) It sucks being dumped.

ANGIE: Mmm.

Now I know how you feel.

I wasn't d...

-Is it tickle time? -No.

-No, no, no, no, no! -Is it tickle time?

(BOTH LAUGH)

Stop! Stop, stop!

Stop, Mum!

ANGIE: Oh!

(GURGLES)

I just feel like I'm mediocre at everything in my life.

Oh, come on, Oly.

I am.

School.

Mothering.

(CHUCKLES)

And I'm happy for Reema. I am.

-I think you're amazing. -Yeah.

What's this?

Oh, it's some poem.

Your mum gave it to me. She wants me to read it.

This one?

Yeah, I guess so.

"And if I go, while you're still here...

"Know that I live on,

"Vibrating to a different measure

"Behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

"You will not see me, So you must have faith.

"I wait for the time when we can soar together again,

"Both aware of each other.

"Until then,

"live your life to its fullest

"And when you need me,

"Just whisper my name in your heart.

"I will be there."

That's really beautiful.

SANTI: Mmm.

Why is she giving me poems?

I think she's trying to reach out to you about your mum.

OK, that's really embarrassing.

I don't really feel comfortable talking to your mum about...

-..my... -(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Hey, Ol'. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Um, do you guys want me to take J for a walk?

-Give you guys some space? -Um, yep.

That'd be really nice.

OK.

(GASPS THEATRICALLY) Oh, you ready for a walk?!

Should we go for a walk? Oh, yes, you little cutie!

(LAUGHS) Hello!

It's walkie-walkie time!

Thanks, Mum.

(LATIN MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY)

Here. Have a nice day!

131 Hey. Enjoy.

Rosa...

Don't.

Enjoy. Good, honest food!

(WHISTLES SOFTLY)

Sorry.

-No, after you. -No...

-No, you... It's... -No, no, it's yours. You go first.

-There's only one vanilla left, so... -You know what?

This might be a good opportunity for me to branch out.

Cookies and cream.

(CHUCKLES) All right! OK.

MAN: Just the...

Is that a...

..first edition 'In Our Time' tattoo?

MAN: How did you know that?

Oh, I'm a massive Hemingway fan. Well, my dad is.

I tracked down a copy for his 60th.

-'Big Two-Hearted River'. -That's it.

Yeah. You ever trout-fish?

No, no. I wanted to.

So did Dad, but...

..we never did.

Same.

Hmm!

-I'd... -Yeah.

..better pay for this.

-Yeah. -MAN: Otherwise it's stealing.

(CHUCKLES) Um, do you think I could grab some, um, hot popcorn, please?

WOMAN: How long does 'Withnail and I' go for?

OK, great. Thank you.

We've gotta stop meeting like this.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

What are you listening to?

Oh, uh, 'The Bends'. Again.

Greatest rock band of all time.

You like Radiohead?

Mate, I get the calendar every year.

Same. Family present.

You know they've got a, um, jigsaw puzzle too?

-I just finished 'Kid A'. -No way.

Yeah.

How sad are we, eh?

Radiohead ephemera.

Rock on!

-Rock on! -(CHUCKLES)

-Thank you. -Oh, hey.

I brought a bottle of red wine to drink through this.

Do you wanna... Do you wanna join me?

Is it superior to lighter fluid?

Oh, it is far superior, my friend.

Hey, you wanna share my popcorn?

-Mmm. -Oh.

Oh. (CHUCKLES) OK.

Are you, like, Mossad or something?

Gotta know where all the exits are?

-SONG: ♪ Lately... ♪ -(BABY CRIES)

-(KNOCK ON DOOR) -OLY: Oh, my God!

ANGIE: Hey, guys.

(BABY CRIES)

Um, J's a bit grizzly. Might need a feed.

OLY: OK! Can you just put her in the bassinet?

-(CONTINUES CRYING) -Uh, she's hungry now, Oly.

Mum! Go!

Go away!

-(CONTINUES CRYING) -It's all right.

You're gonna get a feed.

Yes, you're gonna get a feed in a tick.

-Yes, you are. -OLY: Mum!

-Please get out of my room! -She's hungry, Oly.

(DOOR SLAMS)

'Shawshank' is a total Christ metaphor.

You know, when he comes out of the drain, it's like...

True, but you know you're not allowed

to like 'Shawshank' anymore.

What, the whole "If he says he likes 'Shawshank'

"on the first date, it's over"?

-That is so infantile! -(CHUCKLES)

It's like, what are you supposed to say?

"My favourite movie is 'Gas Food Lodging'"?

(LAUGHS) You know, my girlfriend at uni made me watch that.

Oh, mate, everyone's girlfriend at uni made them watch that.

(CHUCKLES)

Ah.

I'm gonna go eat.

DOM: Oh, yeah, I'm starving.

All right. Yeah, well...

Yeah, it was good to meet ya, Dom.

-Oh, you too, man. -Yeah.

Oh, um...

-I'll see you round? -Yeah. -Yeah.

Like a rissole!

Hey, we should...

Why couldn't I invite him out to lunch?

We both obviously wanted to go.

I don't know!

He was cool,

like me.

You know, he had the limited edition

Radiohead jigsaw puzzles.

-Wow! That is really cool. -Yeah.

And, you know, now he's gone, because I let him go.

I stuffed up.

Oh, well, you've got heaps of friends, Dom.

What about...Jeff?

I don't like any of our friends!

They're either...happily married and smug

or they're divorced and cry into their beers,

complaining about their horrible ex-wives.

Aww. Is that what you do about me?

No! No, we're far more evolved than that.

Oh, right, so you couldn't make a friend,

so you've just come here to follow me around.

Well, you're the only friend that I like.

(LAUGHS) That's sad, Dom.

What about Birdie?

Well, she's always working,

because she's a high-flying businesswoman, you know?

(CHUCKLES) Wow.

Well, here I am, just

teaching teenagers the meaning of life.

Ohh...

(BOTH GROAN)

Who have you had round?

Ugh, well, obviously it's not mine.

Ugh, it's Santi and Oly's.

Oh! Yuck!

What's it doing in the washing?

And why are you doing his washing?

Because he...practically lives here now.

Oh, right. Well, can you do my washing?

Huh!

Um, you can help me hang it out.

Oh. Yeah, look, I...

..I better make like Tom and cruise.

Not my week with the house.

Hey, um...

Uh, how are you?

And things are going well with, uh, Matias?

(DOOR OPENS)

Great.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(CRICKETS CHIRP)

Oly! Santi! Dinner!

(SILENCE)

Guys! Dinner!

(SILENCE)

(MUTTERS) Fucking little shits won't even fucking come down!

(KITCHEN UTENSILS CLATTER)

Oly! Dinner!

OLY: OK! We're coming!

ANGIE: Yeah, well, don't rush!

-SANTI: Oly, stop. -(BOTH LAUGH)

-Sorry. -I've been cooking for an hour.

SANTI: Looks good!

Oh, John and Yoko.

So glad you could make it out of bed.

OLY: Why are we John and Yoko?

You know, Beds-in for Peace. Couple of little activists.

Changing the world without even getting out of bed.

Tanya doesn't know what she's missing out on.

Oh, come on. It's funny. It was a joke.

I love John Lennon and Yoko.

You know, the reason I've been in bed all day

is because I'm upset and because I couldn't face the world.

And then I come downstairs to this passive aggression.

Oh, really? Oh, I'm sorry, Oly.

I thought you were upstairs having sex all day.

-Whoa! -(LAUGHS)

Mum!

What is wrong with you today?!

I feel like I'm living in a share house except I'm the maid.

OK, Mum, we did not ask you to make breakfast this morning.

And what was that childish nonsense,

hiding under the sheets?

-We were embarrassed! -So was I!

And you know what? It's great that you guys are using condoms.

But don't leave them in your pockets.

Can you please put them in the bin?

Because I had to pull a used one

out of the washing machine today.

You put it in your pocket?

I thought it'd be better in case she emptied out the bin.

Yeah, well, that backfired, didn't it?

-(SIGHS) -SANTI: I'm sorry.

Mmm.

I'm so sorry, Ms Davis.

Angie.

Thank you for the pasta. I'm gonna go.

No. Santi, that's ridiculous.

-I love you, Oly. -Don't go home. Please don't go.

(ANGIE SIGHS)

(FRONT DOOR OPENS)

(FRONT DOOR CLOSES)

Thanks a lot, Mum.

It's probably good he stays the night at his house anyway.

You know the reason he's here is

because you couldn't keep your vagina in your pants?

Wow.

I'm eating this in my room.

In bed.

(DROPS FORK)

BOWIE: So, like, you've got your grid.

And then, so, you'd have, like, tiles

with all the subjects you're into.

-So, like, footy, movies... -Radiohead.

And it would be great if you could have a...

..a thing on there where you could message each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course.

Oh, and! And! How's this?

When you connect with someone,

you have this little animation that pops up

which has, like, two beers clinking together.

-Maybe. -What?

You don't think it's a stupid idea?

What, a phone app?

Does the world really need another app?

(COCKATIEL SQUAWKS)

Turtle reckons it's a good idea.

-Oh, love ya, Turts. -Yeah, see?

So, like, this is exactly what you were talking about, Dad,

like, you know, about being, like, lonely for male company.

Male mental health, it's a thing.

And there's an app for everything else.

You know, why not one for old guys meeting new friends?

Old guys?

It's an app for middle-aged men

who hate other people.

Guys like you. Exactly.

So, you know, maybe that bloke from the movies, he'll join,

and you'll find him... find him that way.

-That would be good. -Yeah.

Dad, this plays to our strengths, you know?

Thanks, mate.

I just remembered. (SIGHS)

I haven't thought about Katerina in, like...

..20 minutes.

Hey. Hey!

It's like Pop always said.

Takes a lot to laugh and a...

Say it with me.

BOTH: ..a train to cry.

(TURTLE CHIRPS)

What does that mean?

(ADJUSTS RADIO DIAL)

Oi.

(WOMAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH ON RADIO)

Who bought me shampoo?

380 Goodnight!

Goodnight.

(WOMAN CONTINUES SPEAKING SPANISH ON RADIO)

(CRICKETS CHIRP)

You sleeping here tonight?

Still in the van?

You deserve to be.

(MATIAS SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SULTRY MUSIC)

(VIBRATOR BUZZES)

392 (BABY CRIES)

(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)

Oly! What are you doing?

Mum! No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, Mum! I was trying to let her self-settle.

What? You're controlled-crying her?

Is Santi involved with that? That's a really big decision!

Well, I don't know what else to do!

You go to sleep. I'll settle her.

Are you sure?

Yes! Shh-shh.

You've got Migaloo. It's all right.

-Um... -What are you doing?

Just go to bed. We'll be fine.

She can't have Migaloo. He's mine.

-(CONTINUES CRYING) -Shh.

Hey!

Grandma's gonna get you another toy.

But not Migaloo!

Goodnight.

(CONTINUES CRYING)

Look, let's go outside!

What do we think? It's a beautiful night out here.

What do you think? Look. (GASPS)

Oh, is that a car? (GASPS)

Look at the car going past.

(SCREAMS)

Oh, please stop crying.

Please stop crying.

(BABY GRIZZLES)

(FALLS SILENT)

(WHISPERS) She's asleep?

(WHISPERS) Yes. Shh, shh, shh.

Oh, no! Mum, she's pooed!

It's fine. Let's just put her down.

No, she's gonna get a rash. It's gonna be ten times worse.

-Mum... -Please.

I can change her without waking her.

-Please, no. -Mum, Mum, Mum...

I can do it.

(VELCRO RIPS)

(VELCRO RIPS)

(BABY CRIES)

(WHISPERS) Oh, my God.

-(CONTINUES CRYING) -OK.

OK, OK, come on. Enough.

Enough.

-(SOUND EFFECTS ON TV) -Mum!

We are not using screens as a pacifier. (SWITCHES TV OFF)

(BABY WAILS)

Mum!

(CHATTER ON TV)

(GURGLES SOFTLY)

-What are you drawing? -Jet pack cat!

Do you know how irresponsible it is

to condition a child to only settle in front of a screen?

The kind of hardwiring

that's laying down in the brain forever?

I'm gonna send you the research.

I'm sorry, Oly, but...

..the only way I used to settle you was in front of a screen.

Such a bad parent.

(SIGHS)

I know.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(MATIAS URINATES)

(KETTLE WHISTLES)

(WHISTLING STOPS)

(TOASTER POPS)

Hey, boys. Boys. Gabriel.

You know how Papa has been sleeping outside in the truck

to stop that possum from stealing our empanadas?

He nearly caught him the other night.

ROSA: Yes, he did!

So the possum has gone away

to steal Mrs Nikaki's oranges instead.

Papa won.

So now you can come and kiss him tomorrow

in our bed, OK?

And start peeing in the toilet again.

OK. Go and wash your hands.

Just like that.

(SIGHS)

Where are you going?

Um...to Oly's house.

To see my daughter.

Let me drive you.

(CAR PULLS UP OUTSIDE)

(CAR DOORS CLOSE)

Why are you so angry?

-Because of Rosa and I? -No.

-No, Dad. -What, then?

Remember my seventh birthday, Dad?

'Course you don't.

'Cause you weren't there.

You were hungover in bed all day.

You know, I got up that morning.

Made my own birthday cake.

I cut a slice for Mum,

'cause I had to imagine she was there for me.

Man, I had just lost my wife!

I'd just lost my mum, Dad!

I needed you, Dad.

And the truth is you weren't there.

You've never been there.

(SIGHS)

(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)

OLY: What are you doing?

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

You're in love with him.

I was.

I'm not.

(SIGHS)

It just hurts.

(SNIFFLES)

Santi really loved that poem, Mum.

So did I.

('TODO TIENE SU FIN' BY DOM LA NENA)

(BABY GURGLES)

(CHUCKLES) Hey, love.

('TODO TIENE SU FIN' BY DOM LA NENA CONTINUES)

514 ('TODO TIENE SU FIN' BY DOM LA NENA CONTINUES)