Original subtitles

This beautiful Bentley is perfect for a modern business woman.

-No. -Would you like something faster?

-No. -Not that either. This is a wonderful car.

It's got 740 hp under the hood. 250 grand.

-No. -What about this one?

-A hot and modern car. -The only strong thing is your breath.

-This a car worthy of a CEO to... -That one.

-That one? Sorry, that's not for sale. -How much?

It used to belong to the founder, my great-great-grandfather.

-How much? -It's impossible.

We can't put a price on it. It's got emotional value.

How much?

Sold.

SmackDonald's. Kentucky Flies Chickens.

Burgers Kin. And now...

FC Chicken. Starting today, FC Chicken is going global.

Starting today, FC Chicken is going to Africa.

Join in.

I want blaka bana

Are you feeling it? You're feeling it, right?

But I can hear you thinking, "How? How, Judeska?"

"How will we do that?" I'll tell you how.

If you want to be a millionaire, you need to have the millionaire mindset.

What's wrong with you? Bird flu? Don't mind him.

He's terminal.

Almost. A couple of weeks left.

What comes from Africa? Exactly: everything.

Gold. Diamond. From Africa.

All the important minerals come from Africa.

The people there work very hard.

And what do you want when you work really hard?

Chicken, exactly.

And that's where we come in. FC Chicken Ghana.

We offer you the chance to become very rich for just...

Let's have a look.

For 845.000 Euros we offer you the chance

to join FC Chicken Ghana.

What do you think?

Okay, little guy...

Why did you make strange noises? Do you have Gilles de la Tourettes?

-Annoying. -You act as if you own half the world.

But where are the tax returns and the annual accounts?

Call the doctor. You need a kilo of pills for your head. You're weird. I'm off.

Where are you going?

I'm going home to put on something nice.

And then I'll get a loan at the bank. Bye.

FC CHICKEN

Here you are. The fries are coming.

-So sorry, sir. -Rajesh.

This is not going well and the line is getting longer.

-One of the fryers is broken. It's bad. -The refrigerator is also broken.

The toilet is clogged. It's worse than my ex's house.

-Everything's broken. -This is what I mean.

This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't taken away my leadership.

Your leadership? I should've been in charge.

Listen, Santohki, if we get back in power, then all the problems will disappear.

With you guys only two things will disappear.

The money and your fathers.

Well, your spine has disappeared.

That's why your head keeps wobbling.

You both know that my leadership really has been taken away from me.

You led a mutiny against me.

I only had one motto, which is...

Let's make FC Chicken great again.

Rajesh, you lost fair and square against Judeska

-with rock, paper, scissors. -I'm not listening.

You agreed. That's why Judeska is in charge.

In charge? You call that "in charge"? I'd say she's overcharged.

The bills for the renovation in Curaçao still haven't been paid.

Tell Rajesh where you think Judeska is going to get that money from.

Wow, this is the golden limited edition. Only one of that exists.

-Can I touch it? -Do it, and I'll knock you down, idiots.

Miss, you are very aggressive.

You imp.

Beautiful. It looks good with your eyes.

-Hello? -It's always such a struggle.

-It is. -Hello, hello?

Rude.

-Well, well. Are you going on safari? -Yes.

David Attenborough sent me here. He said, "If you go in there,

and look closely, you'll spot two baboons at the counter."

I have an appointment.

Okay. Staff can check in at HR on the second floor.

-Staff? -Aren't you a cleaner?

You know what needs a good clean? Your head.

With a scourer and an angle grinder.

I'm here to borrow money.

Okay. Please report on the fourth floor. They'll assist you further.

Fishwive.

So... FC Chicken Enterprise presents...

the first branch in Africa.

FC Chicken Ghana.

When you say chicken, you say Ghana and vice versa.

Okay, quick summary.

You'd like to borrow a sum of 900.000 euros

for an expansion in Ghana, renovation costs on Curaçao

-and representation costs. Is that right? -Exactly.

Those representation costs will mostly consist of...

-a golden Canta? -Exactly. It's very nice.

Miss, yes.

It was a very inspiring presentation.

You could feel that...

-primal power. -Yes.

Apart from the fact that this is a very interesting experiment for us.

-Experiment? -We've done it before in Namibia,

-Nigeria, one of those N-countries. -What?

We gave them some equity.

Hello, I'm here.

Of course we understand the lure

-of a branch in Africa. -"Lure"?

You want to go home.

That's desirable for all of us.

What are you trying to tell me? Because I don't like your tone at all.

You're right. Africa is definitely booming.

But most of the successful people there are...

Well, they are...

They don't have tax arrears.

-Tax arrears? -Yes, according to our information,

you seem to have substantial tax arrears.

Therefore, our advice is

negative.

Yes, but do I get the loan?

No? So all this time I've been looking

at two fat croquets and a dry hotdog for nothing?

You'll regret this decision.

Watch out when you cross the road, as you'll be knocked over.

Unbelievable. Annoying.

So people don't take me seriously?

From now on I'll shoot everybody. It's BD, period.

Talk bullshit and you're going down. I'll do it myself.

FC CHICKEN GHANA

FC Chicken.

Call your aunt. We need the money now.

What's going on here? Come on, people. Move.

Move aside.

Kofi.

Kofi, why is there a long line? Serve those people.

One of the deep fryers is broken. Frying takes twice as long.

Call the maker of the deep fryer to get them to repair it.

People, I can't do everything on my own and bring in cash.

Does he have to call the maker? Do it yourself.

I would let things run smoothly.

"Run smoothly"? Because of the way you do sums,

there is even less money coming in.

Right now nothing is coming in at all.

We're still waiting for the payment of the bills for the renovation in Curaçao.

Rajesh, what are you doing here? You should be on Curaçao.

Who told you you could take a holiday?

-I'm not here for my own pleasure. -Not for mine, either.

What do you want?

I had a wonderful business on Curaçao.

Everyone always said to me, "Mr Rajesh, you're such a great boss."

"You're the FOB, the Flower of Bangladesh."

"You sing beautifully. Sing."

"Oh, Mr Rajesh, dance for us." And I danced and danced and danced.

I told you that the money is coming. The process is in progress.

From that process to process that money, and once--

She has no idea what she's talking about.

-I have everything under control, okay? -It's so busy. Can't Robertico help out?

Hello, do keep up. Robertico is in Africa, in Ghana,

to set up the new FC Chicken Ghana.

Really. Everyone knows that Africa is the future.

What? Are you kidding? The future?

What are we going to sell there? What? Crispy fries?

Ebola burgers? Plastic with peanut sauce?

What do people over there have? Nothing, just bones.

You know what I really detest?

Door-to-door fundraisers.

There was one at my door this week. He said, "Do you have something to spare?"

"For asylum seekers. We're going to furnish their new estates."

I said, "You'd better jump over that railing now."

"With your foul mouth." Jeez.

Because who's doing a fundraiser for my new house?

I immediately called the municipality and some obese tart answered.

I hear that straight away. She'd never seen the inside of a gym.

I said, "Listen, bimbo, I want a new house. And furnished, too."

Because of those earthquakes, I've got cracks all through my house

that are wider than Stormy Daniels' butt crack.

She said, "You're not eligible. You live in Rotterdam. That's in Groningen."

But when people from Ukraine come over, all the doors are wide open.

Sam-alamalam alaykum.

Come and take what you can get. That's how it is.

-What's that? -Nice, isn't it? From a site.

-Wonderful. -Yeah.

"Site"? Where's that shop? I don't know it.

-Online, on the computer. -Oh, no. I'm not having a computer.

No. It makes you very unhappy because of the radiation.

And you never know who'll ask me to be their surrogate.

Yeah, you can count on it.

That Kims Kardassies pays good money to surrogates.

That's nonsense. I've been following that family for years.

Those women only want blaka bana.

That family has processed many Black men. More than the Nigerian customs.

-Who can blame them? -No.

Everyone knows that white skin sells well.

And think about it, everybody would want these genes and this body.

Here, sir. One of the fryers is broken. You'll get your fries shortly.

WE NEED MONEY NOW.

THEY START TOMORROW.

Hello? Yoo-hoo.

-What do you want? -Where's the bathroom?

Do you have no shame? You want to shit without ordering first?

Kofi. These people come in, don't buy, but want to shit straight away.

How do you enter a business? You buy nothing, but want to shit.

Could you calm down? This is really triggering.

-This is wrong and traumatizing. -This isn't a safe space.

-I feel unsafe here. -Well, so do I. Because of your face.

Do you have a gender neutral bathroom?

We don't use ginger in the toilet, but fragrance sticks.

Are you stupid?

She doesn't get it. Do you really not get it?

Don't you understand, as a black woman, that we fight the same battle?

"The same battle"? Now you listen to me, Martin Luther Queen.

I don't know which bus you think you're riding on,

but it's not the same bus. Get lost.

She doesn't want to understand. No knowledge of gender politics.

You don't acknowledge us.

I see it now. You are...

transformers.

You're homosexuals with each other.

Kofi, they're homosexuals.

Stick on stick. I get it now.

So backward. It's bizarre.

Shit, what are you, then? You're getting on my nerves.

I happen to be pansexual, you transphobic native.

What did you call me?

Miss, I am pansexual.

So you want the pan.

You long for the pan, you fancy the pan, so you can have the pan.

You pancake.

-Judeska, what have you done? -I'm done with all of you. I'm off.

Yes, knock our customers down and walk away.

Just like your father walked away from you.

Move. So annoying.

Wow, what's this?

Isn't it nice? I have it because I'm the CSI of the company.

-CSI? -Or is it FBI?

Anyhow, I'm the boss, so I have to drive in style.

Judeska, my great fliend.

-Come in quickly. -Okay.

The scammers from the tax authorities have it in for me.

I need money for the expansion to Ghana.

Judeska, look no further. Ping Ping will help you.

For nothing, because we're family.

-We're not family, you're Chinese. -No, look at my face.

I'm not Chinese, but biracial. I'm mitar mitar.

I'm nasi goreng, satay ku bata with extla sambal.

Sorry, hold on.

Hello?

Who were you on the phone with?

-Lo Pei Chan. -Who?

Lo Pei Chan, the greatest and richest businessman in Asia.

He has lestaurants, web shops, casinos.

-But does he have money? -Does he have money?

He has so much money that he sprays money.

He Elon Musk, but with my face. He handsome.

-How do you know him? -He blother of blother.

He uncle of cousin. He grandfather's fliend.

-Another mother, another father. -What do you mean?

Chinese family: they're all alike.

-But what's in it for you? -For me?

Nothing at all. I do for you. Because you're family.

I do it like Jesus and Malia.

I do it out of charity.

-And? -For the five percent finder's fee.

Ping Ping, could I get an energy drink, please?

Because I've been working on a DDoS attack for 16 hours.

Why do white people always get tired so quickly?

I know children of about two, three, four years old,

who work harder than you guys.

A bit hungry, a small cramp in the finger. But never complain.

So let's go back to work.

AHMET'S CLOTHS & SEWING WORKSHOP

Ahmet.

Ahmet, Ahmet, listen.

I need a dress and it has to be hot, wasabi.

I want people to look at me and think, "Kawasaki".

Arigato plus blugh.

Listen, I need a beautiful dress.

I always make beautiful dresses. Turkey always does this.

-Turkey number one. -Always number one.

Listen, this has to be a Chinese dress.

What are you doing here? For a Chinese dress?

What did you call me?

Calm down. Why are you coming here to give us a heart attack?

We make top quality here. No holes.

China makes holes. Not me.

No holes, no slits.

Sometimes beautiful women come to me.

They say, "Ahmet, I'm ashamed."

"I have a slit." I say, "Come here."

"Come here with your slit." I'll get my big needle and go into the slit.

-I prick the slit. -He pricks it.

I prick the slit.

I prick the slit until I'm dead tired.

-I prick the slit. -My brother pricks the slit.

-Stop it. -You have a slit to prick?

No idea which slit you're pricking, but not here.

Listen, I need an Asian dress.

An Asian dress.

Hello, my dress?

-Apologies. -Listen.

I have an appointment with a Chinese.

Read my lips: Chinese.

Well I'll be damned. It's all in English. Hello?

Unbelievable, right?

Aren't we in Holland? You should be able to speak your own language.

In restaurants you constantly hear "Can't I help you?"

I'm thinking, "You can get a punch in the mouth with your stupid ebola head."

-Can I help you, miss? -Jeez.

You came in smoothly. Wow. They taught you that well.

Moving around silently. That's convenient for burglaries, right?

-Shall I set the language to Dutch? -I'm a simple Dutch woman.

I want to shop on that shit internet, but you can forget about service.

That's not the way it used to be, kid. We used to have a shop.

And Dutch people used to work there.

And they greeted you in Dutch, as it should be.

And you could pay with the guilder, but now everything's in euros.

-Why? So they can trick you. -Yeah, right.

A carton of grapes for ten euros. Ten euros, a carton of grapes.

Where have those grapes been? Do tell me.

Did they come out of the queen? Jeez.

-There, it's in Dutch. -This government put everything on sale.

All of Europe strips us bare.

And what are young people doing? You watch and do nothing.

And soon it will be too late.

You've had your moment. What have you contributed?

What have I contributed, he asks. What have I--

You listen, kid. I fought in the first and second of the Coolsingel.

When all the men were down, I satisfied all of them. Me, Gerrie.

And the neighbor too, but she's a slut.

Would you look at that. Sandals in the shape of fish.

That'll get your pussy drooling. We need that.

Sauna for one person. We'll take that as well.

A robot that can paint eggs. Oh, boy, this is delicious.

Hello. Hello, good day.

Sashimi. Hello.

Sashimi, wasabi.

Yo soya Judeska.

I'm seeking Lo Pei.

What's "seeking" in Chinese? I'm seekingy Lo Pei.

I'm Suzuki Lo Pei. Suzuki.

Suzuki Lo Pei? They don't even speak Chinese.

Annoying.

Mitsubishi.

Lo Pei.

Here, hold this for me.

Is anyone going to talk?

Are you gonna meditate? Is that what you do in China when nobody talks?

Joke.

Don't make a fool of yourself, horny Smurf. Focus.

Close your mouth. Your teeth will drop out.

I told you so. Everybody likes it. Everybody.

What are they saying?

Ping Ping, focus.

-It's all in Chinese. -No problem.

Use your big head, please. This is really important.

Read this. I don't understand it.

What a shame.

Shit, listen to me. Focus. Read the contract.

-Is it correct? -Yes, sign it.

-Did you check properly? -Yes, no problem.

-Are you sure? -Yes, 100 percent.

Oh dear, have I signed already?

No, I was still--

I wanted to read it.

Well, well.

Hello, these are the parcels. There are five more downstairs.

They won't come up here on their own. Come on, go get them.

Where's my dosh then?

-Your what? -I'm stacking these.

-Are you... stacking them? -Yes.

You only stack two burgers.

Here's your parcels. I'll get the rest downstairs.

Okay. Bring along a dictionary, because I don't understand a word.

Yeah, I can see you looking over.

Curious about what I bought. All this luxury.

I'll show you real taste.

That's not the note. The note is...

You're way too low.

I want to sing one more song especially for you, my big fliend.

And for your golden Canta and for FC Chicken.

My big, big fliend.

Just paying for my sweetie.

Golden Canta, check.

There we go.

Pay taxes, check.

Tidy up FC Chicken Curaçao. Then Rajesh can no longer come.

Annoying. Check.

Pay FC Chicken Ghana, check.

MONEY HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED.

Bro, that champagne is over a hundred years old and expired.

The money hasn't been transferred.

-No? Why not? You just said it was. -No, I don't know. It's saying--

We can't refuse anymore.

-We'll have to get running in a bit. -Yes.

-That smells nice, neighbor. -Look who's here.

Deska.

How are you?

Girl, what's up? You're letting yourself go.

You know me, right? I cooked extensively. Roasted chicken,

-potato, pie, extra gravy. -Let me guess.

You had a fight with Stanley and were wrong again.

-I'm not wrong. No. -Girl, you made a pie.

Hold on.

-Hi, why do you keep calling? -You were going to transfer the money.

-I've paid everything. -It's gone wrong. What have you done?

What do you mean?

-Get out. -Out.

Go.

Have you ordered Chinese? I haven't.

Are you Immigration and Naturalization?

We have to go back.

We're from Lo Pei Collection. You didn't pay interest.

FC CHICKEN

Why are you so tense? What's the rush?

You said everything was fine.

-It was. -The contract.

-What? -Ten percent interest a day.

It's 100.000 euros a day, which started yesterday.

What, 100.000 euros? We've been duped.

-I've lost FC Chicken and my golden Canta. -He screwed us.

Because of that interest rate, I can't pay the credit in Ghana.

Judeska, we Blacks need to stand up for ourselves.

Ping Ping, you're not black.

Lo Pei. Where is everyone? Where's that hobbit?

Where is that goblin? I'm gonna shoot--

Asshole.

There.

No, no, no.

If that Lo Pei Chan doesn't withdraw that loan,

I'll strike him down and send him to his mother today.

I looked into it quickly, but...

Lo Pei has left for Bangkok on his private jet.

Thailand? He's in Thailand.

He has a huge villa in...

Bangkok.

-How did you find that so quickly? -Well, that's what I do.

-I'm the master of metaverse. -What?

-Champion of the chain. -Champion of the... What?

-Señor Backdoor. -Señor Backdoors?

I knew it. You do seem like the type for backdoors.

Judeska, we are Blackman and Robin.

Bonnie and Clyde.

I can't let you go alone, but I can't go without a European passport.

Hold on a minute.

-Can you turn off alarms? -Well, yes.

-Turn off security cameras? -Easy.

Open doors? You're coming.

-We're taking him to Thailand. -Wrong.

To Thailand? But don't you need vaccinations to go there?

Nobody is gonna jab anyone. If they jab me, I'll jab them right back.

Seriously. You don't have to worry, you're very ugly.

The virus looks at you, freaks out and runs off. You're safe.

YOUR ACCOUNTS HAVE BEEN BLOCKED.

-Ping Ping, we have to go. -Oh, bingo.

William of Nassau

Ping Ping. We have to go. I want to find Lo Pei now. Hurry up.

Loy.

What did I say? Low plofile.

-But this isn't gonna stand out, right? -What?

Your problem is that you refuse to adapt.

Look at me. Nobody can see that I'm not from Bangkok.

Everyone who looks at you knows your Dutch.

Right? Try to have some respect for other cultures.

Ni hao.

-Ni hao is Chinese. -Annoying.

Come on, there's no time for this.

We must hurry.

Step on it, go.

Not so fast, it will mess up my hair.

Only one thing matters: Lo Pei can't know we're here.

We need the element of surprise.

We'll go to his house, I'll grab him and work him to the ground. Annoying.

I don't trust his face.

-Look at him. -I think they're onto us.

The element of surprise.

Annoying.

I have to eat something. My blood sugar level is too low.

Roy, please. Earth to Roy. Do you realize? People nearly shot us.

What's this about food? We nearly died. Annoying.

I really hope he's as smart as you say, because right now I'm not impressed.

Did you see how he looked at us? I think he's with them.

Hold my bag.

Ping Ping, look.

Here.

Loy, come along.

-Here, go inside. -Inside.

She's throwing it in the soup. What are you doing?

What are you doing? Shit.

Spit it out.

They've seen us. Let's go.

Sodom and Gomorrah, move.

Quickly, go outside.

Come quickly.

Come, Judeska.

Come.

-I'm wearing heals. -Go quickly.

Loy, run. Go.

Run.

Move.

Watch out. Get lost.

Okay, let's go.

Judeska, we're a good team, huh?

We fought for each other, we saved Loy's life.

We escaped those gangsters. If we can do this, we can do anything.

-Okay. -We're gonna get Lo Pei Chan.

I'm really proud of us. Seriously. But don't tell anyone.

I just can't.

And nobody says a--

Yes, I can see you looking at me, thinking, "There's Brigitte Bardot."

Honestly, since I've discovered online shopping,

I can finally show my true colors. Gerrie is back.

All from Lo Pei Fashion. My cousin shops there too. All online.

So they do deliveries in prison? Didn't know that.

-She works there as a guard. -No wonder, with her build.

It's either guard or bouncer.

I understand why you feel jealous when you look at me.

Look at this figure. It's so thin. Just look.

Thin? I think you mean thick.

Look at me in awe. You can applaud later.

Did you buy from Lo Pei Fashion again?

No, yes, well... At first, but not anymore.

Now I only buy at exclusive and expensive French companies,

-like Louis Vissitots. -Sorry, what?

Louis Vissitots. But you wouldn't know that.

-I certainly don't. -But I saw that suit on their website.

Maybe you should order glasses as well for your gob. It's not what it used to be.

Anyhow, I'm off to town. I'm going shopping in my new clothes.

-Don't you live on social security? -None of your business.

I am, and I worked hard for that. See ya. Bitch.

Secret.

It's a secret.

You are little.

-What's the secret? -What?

What's the secret? You were laughing and said, "It's a secret". What?

Ping Ping laughing? Ping Ping never laughs.

There it is.

What's that?

His headquarters?

Here?

-Look, Lo Pei's security platform. -How did all this stuff get here?

Lo Pei is throwing a big party tonight.

People will be going in and out.

I know how many guards there'll be.

I know which weapons they carry. I know the villa's weak spots.

We could get them.

There is just one problem, though.

We can't pull that off alone.

What the hell are you doing here?

What are you doing here, Judeska?

-How did you find us? -We found you. Ping Ping texted us.

They've got FC Chicken.

Round of applause to you. Look, there she is. Fata morgana.

Princess Fiona.

You did it. Look at what you did to me. You've finally ruined me.

Rajesh, we're working on it. There's a plan.

-Are Robertico and Norwin coming? -They're probably on some beach in Ghana.

-He's not answering. -I told you so. I've had enough.

I've seriously had enough. You always get me into trouble.

I'll take back my sword like Amitabh Bachchan.

You won't get me anymore. Count me out.

Rajesh, stop whining.

We have to work together.

We're family. Judeska has done everything to save FC Chicken.

-She was nearly killed. -Great.

We're family.

If we want to get FC Chicken back,

our only chance is listening to Judeska's plan.

Ping Ping, you're right. FC Chicken is important.

We must work together.

Rajesh, do you want to get FC Chicken back or not?

Okay, okay.

But I want to hear about the plan first.

Everyone, this is Lo Pei Chan's villa.

There's a cellar with a server room with a safe in it.

We want what's in the safe.

Lo Pei Chan's tablet.

Ping Ping, as the smallest, you'll be the peanut.

You'll go to the server room through the AC tube,

and take the tablet from the safe.

-And what am I? -You're...

You're the coffee. Ping Ping, don't touch the floor.

-Am I the coffee? -You'll be unconscious soon.

Let me finish. Annoying.

Touch the floor and the alarm will set off.

-Nolti. -I don't want to be coffee.

Jesus, help me. Nolti, you'll play a character to distract people.

Hello, not now.

-I don't like coffee at all. -Kofi, listen.

You're Kofi. Nolti would have been a bag of Nolti.

Nolti, you'll get the stolen tablet from Ping Ping to me.

Do I have to get the tablet to you? You have to--

Great. Great that you get it.

-Okay, so what am I? -You're chocolate.

No. By the power of Shiva, that's bitter chocolate.

That's way too dark.

Don't you have white chocolate? I'd prefer that.

Rajesh, you're chocolate and Kofi, you're coffee.

You two will take care of the escape.

But Judeska, that's dangerous.

Oh, no. We shouldn't do that. I have a better plan.

Everyone knows that it starts to rain before any fight in Bollywood movies.

Then you know the enemy will be defeated.

And then I'll rise there. Rajesh, the flower from Bangladesh.

Richard Ni from Kochi with jelly from New Delhi.

I'll get that enemy.

I'll beat them up. I'll--

Annoying.

Tikki masala. Listen, I'm doing the dangerous stuff here.

Once I have that tablet, I'll seduce Lo Pei.

I'll look at him and seduce him. And once I've seduced him, then--

Knock-out, done, on the floor.

I'll take the tablet, cancel the contract, and we'll be free.

So what do we do?

Annoying.

I get the tablet, then we bang open the door,

and then we escape home and go back to FC Chicken.

Understood?

Come on, let's go.

Why am I always the coffee?

-Look, there's Nolti. -Okay guys, Nolti is in position.

Kofi, Rajesh, do you have the grenade?

Yes, it's in the cake.

Let it off the moment I have the tablet.

Can you speak normally? Who are you, James Bons?

They probably know we're there, so I'll start hacking the safe.

-They're stopping me. -What?

-They're stopping me. -You wanted to be the star. Be the star.

-Stay under the ladar. -What?

-Stay under the ladar. -What?

-Under the ladar. -Get lost, you. Annoying.

Nobody understands you, idiot.

Searchlights on the west side.

Searchlight is off.

Have you gone mad? I'm not from Africa. Say Norway.

Norway? We can't, we're black.

I'm not black, you're black. I'm dark white.

Pippi Longstocking. Knäckebröd.

What do we do now?

Mayday, mayday, there's a prostitute coming for Lo Pei, over.

I'm in.

-Do you have the cake? -Well, we have the cakes.

Cakes? There's one cake.

-We have several cakes. -Did the cake get pregnant?

Several people have brought him his favorite cake.

Where's our cake? Listen, I must have that cake.

At all costs.

Find the grenade.

Roy, there are many doors here. Which one is it?

Room six. Ping Ping takes the tablet there,

and then you take it to Judeska. You get it now?

I'm there.

The safe hack is nearly done, over.

I see him.

He's impossible to overlook. Oompa-Loompa.

He's coming.

You scared me.

Don't worry. We'll be gone in a couple of hours.

Hey, Yena checks on him every 15 minutes. Annoying.

Ping Ping, are you ready?

It's at 98 percent.

Ping Ping in position.

Oh, no...

Loy, hurry up.

Oh, no.

They've got Nolti. We need another way to get the tablet to me.

Please, the plan has been changed.

Come here, my muscles are starting to ache.

Where are you Ping Ping?

Bring me the tablet quickly

Now

Hurry up

Ping Ping has tablet. Everything according to plan.

You are little.

You're crazy. Take your damn pills. Annoying.

So you knew him all along?

Judeska, an elephant keeps walking but never forgets his steps.

Who are you, David Attenborough? Give me the tablet.

Come on, give me the tablet.

-It's not working. -Shit, what's wrong?

-Try. I have to save Nolti. -Do I have to do it alone, then?

Annoying.

-There's nothing in this one. -The other one. Quick. Hurry.

Nobody will miss you if you die.

Nothing's working. Why not?

This isn't the real Lo Pei. It's a fake.

Yena is the real Lo Pei.

-No. -Stay away from her.

Look, our plan has failed. There are guards everywhere.

Fliends, no panic. Ping Ping has plan. Plan C.

-Plan C? What happened to Plan B? -Plan C.

Plan Chicken.

No, we need to call Roy. He has to get us out of here.

Ready for plan C?

Don't let them get away, understood?

I see lots of white birds.

-White birds? Have you been smoking weed? -Here.

-Roy is out. He's smoked weed. -Put this on.

-What's your plan? -Surplise.

This is gonna itch. Really itch.

Chicken, chicken.

-What's with chicken suits? Why? -Just you wait.

Now I get it. You're really smart.

Look, Plan Chicken.

A diversion. Follow me.

Run. Quick. Look, go down here, to the left.

Easy, easy.

What's this, then? National nasi gori day?

Or are you Chinese Jehovah's witnesses?

-We're from Lo Pei Chan Collection. -What?

You don't pay, we take it all away.

Then you can go back to Bamizuela or wherever you're from.

Everything that's on there is on credit.

On credit means paying.

You listen to me, Peking duck. I've paid for everything, alright?

-Everyone. -What are you-- Hello?

I never let in strange men. I know what you want.

Horny Chinese. This isn't a Kama Sutra fair.

Wait, that was granny's. That didn't come from you.

Call the police. Come on. I'm being robbed.

Call the police.

I'm choking. I can't get any air. I can't get it off.

We can't unlock the tablet. You said it'd be alright.

Everything's failed.

How? How was I supposed to know that Lo Pei wasn't Lo Pei, but Yena?

-How, Rajesh? How? -Judeska.

Normally I always stick up for you.

But this time you really screwed up, Judeska. I mean it.

Something's about to happen that's never happened before.

But not a word about it after that.

I'm so--

I'm--

Go away.

I'm sorry, okay? Happy now?

I...

I wanted to do the right thing for everyone.

But because of my selfishness, I crossed everyone's boundaries.

Yes.

I'm your CEO no longer.

Will I be the CEO of FC Chicken?

Judeska, why are you saying that?

We are human and make mistakes.

When you fall, family has to catch you.

FC Chicken family.

I'm not a leader. I screwed up. I don't even know where that Yena is.

Yena? I can easily find her.

Señor Backdoor.

Ten minutes from here.

So wait, it isn't over yet?

I'm still the leader.

We're gonna get her, and this time, I'll knock her out personally.

-Will I be the new CEO? -Get lost, it isn't over yet.

-Kofi, are you in? -Yes.

-Nolti, are you in? -I'm in. Yes, I'm in.

Rajesh, are you in?

How much more are you gonna steal? I'm done with it. Go--

Shut up, you.

Oh, dear.

You guys, I've sprained my crack. My crack is dislocated.

Beat it, you.

-I'm not afraid of you. -Clear off.

I'm not afraid.

Keep your hands off my neighbor. Come on.

Help our neighbor. Get him.

There you go, boy.

Hold on.

Give me that carpet-beater.

That will teach you.

-Are you nuts? -I swear.

-Come on. -Are you helping me?

We Surinamese respect the elderly.

Even if they are impertinent.

Yes.

Now it's getting hot, huh?

Yes, this is what extra sambal means. Off you fly.

There we go.

That's what you get, Kung Fu Panda.

-There, you fucking bastard. -You asshole.

You'll pay. Well done, you.

Go right here.

There they are.

Shit, you wanna shoot?

Come on, Judeska.

Especially for you.

Alright, bring it on.

She hit me. Come on.

Get lost, you.

-Get him. -Lobin van Persie.

You'd all like that, huh?

Ping Ping. Judeska. That's Yena.

Annoying.

This what you call wok to go.

-Where's Roy? -Loy.

And? Is it working?

Gimme, gimme. Quickly.

Do they think I have time to read all that?

-I'm gonna delete this. -Judeska, no. Don't delete, no.

-Why not? -Wait, here.

The loan has been withdrawn.

Your money ploblems are over.

-Ping Ping has solved everything. -Nice.

Kofi. Are you sure the guy said we had to wait here?

Yes, he said five sharp.

-Hello? -Turn the corner.

Oh my god. Oh no.

Please. Is it my sweetie? Please let it be true.

Is it really you?

Look in the back.

Ping Ping, what is this?

This isn't Ping Ping, this is his cousin...

Ka Tsjing.

The money is a loan

for more FC Chicken lestaurants.

-With extla low intelest. -Interest? What do you mean?

Let me have a look.

You used me for that entire revenge plan of yours, okay?

Alright.

I can open my business on Curaçao.

-Now for flee, but not next time. -What next time?

You always make mistakes. You always come back.

Where are you? Where are you, you little...

I can't believe the plan succeeded.

Of course it succeeded.

Look, gentlemen. This came for you.

"Greetings from Ghana"?

Goodness.

How very kind.

Shall I get a knife?

Everyone.

All this land for that money.

Didn't I tell you? Africa is the future.

This will be a great success. I can feel it.

Aunt, everything the light touches is our kingdom.

Are you just gonna quote The Lion King? Get lost, you joker.

Africa.

I'm home.

How did we get this land?

Through a Dutch real estate agent.

She said she dealt with FC Chicken before.

Robertico.

What do you think you are doing?

Patlick, Patlick, Patlick.

You think you've won, but you are doing exactly what we predicted.

You've got no idea what's coming next.

You don't have to come find me.

I know exactly where you are.