Original subtitles

"So long". And one, two...

One, Two... One, two, Three, four...

shit!

Take two, three, four...

Hello?

Yeah, I did call in sick

Yes, I'm still sick

Yes, sir. Tomorrow. Ten.

Right. Eight o'clock Yes, sir.

I'll be there. All right.

I already told you, Chester, I ain't Paying you shit yet.

We got double or nothing on saturday's game.

Well, God damn. You sure you got double Yankee boy?

Yeah, I got double.

Now why don't you go the hell away? I got work to do.

Shit! You wouldn't know a spark plug from a piece of dried dog shit...

If it jumped up and poked you right in the eye.

I want my damn money.

If you don't give it to me, I'm going to have to rip you a brand spanking new asshole.

Plastic, Formica, Naugahyde,

Marshmallows.

I say it's all natural.

I mean, everything on earth is made from stufffound on earth, right?

It's not like aliens brought polyester here.

So why is the mixture of natural substances considered unnatural?

- I mean, just because man made it... - I gave you a twenty.

Oh, right.

Just because man made it, we automatically label it unnatural?

To say something's unnatural, that's anti creative.

Yeah, well, if you want to get procreative, be at the Brewery by ten.

My band debuts tonight. Spittle.

- We're opening for Road Kill, and we rock - You're in a band?

That's right. Spittle. You ought to come check us out.

Are you ready for a little Spittle?

Go!

Hey, ease up!

So?

So... Yeah. Very create my friend.

Wynn?

Are you bummed 'cause you missed your chance to rock tonight?

See, he was Spittle's original lead axe Man, but it didn't work out.

I need beer for Road Kill on the bus.

That was Linus Tate.

He's more well known than the band. He takes on the road.

Excuse me, guys.

Tony!

Tony Ridge out on the town Amazing.

- Check it out. - How you doing, Charlie?

You're not going to believe this. Like we haven't seen each other in, like, forever, you know?

But I was just thinking about you earlier today.

You know, I think it's like magnetic brain waves.

You know about that? I mean, like how my brain picked up on your brain.

You know, your presence. Like a radio station or something, you know?

I'm real sensitive that way.

Look, Charlie, I'd like to stick around and talk magneticfluxes and stuff, but...

I've got to be un the office early in the moming.

Oh, hey, no, no yo comprendo that.

- I'll catch you later. - Okay.

- And see you around. - Bye.

- So, you Tony's girlfriend? - No.

Great. Well, My name is Charlie. I saw you over there across the...

Hey, which way did he go, freak?

He went that away.

Who was that?

A bunch of frat boys.

The guy they were chasing's Eric Ellwood.

I've heard he's a scumbag.

That's unbelievable, man. There was this girl, and...

We were meshing, you know?

Mr. Jones, pick up on line six, please. Mr. Jones, line six.

Eleven minutes and twenty seven seconds.

That's how long I've been waiting, Mr. Ridge. You understand me, son.

You 're fired.

You had a good future and you blew it!

- That was crazy last night, all those guys. - Yeah.

If that big, dumb bastard was alone I would have kicked his ass.

Thanks for losing them.

- Eric Ellwood. - Tony Ridge.

I was afraid those guys were going to kill you.

Hey, you all right?

Oh, man you're not going to puke in my car, are you?

Listen to that.

If only I could write songs half that good. That's, that what I need.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I live here. Stop!

Sorry about that.

Thanks for the lift.

- Hey! Hey! Hey! - What?

Where's Mom? My car's ready.

- She's still working, I guess. I don't know. - Well, you have a phone call.

- Thank me. I was here to answer it. - Thanks. I owe you a dollar.

Oh, and I need you to watch Dylan just for about two hours.

I can't... Hello?

You selfish pig. I spent half my life baby sitting you.

Yeah. Okay. I'll come in. Bye.

I got to go to work See? I don't have time to do any of that stuff.

Work? You call that work?

You don't even know. My catering business, now that's work

I'll tell you what. It would go a hell of a lot better. If you'd ever help out.

Yeah, well, I told you I'm not doing that. Hi, Mom.

Well, look who's here with his drums doing laundry or torturing the neighbors?

Well, both. But I have to go to work, so can you throw my stuff in the dryer.

- Of course, dear. - Oh, sure whatever's right for baby Charlie.

You were a mistake, you know that?

Now, Helen, he was a surprise. A happy surprise.

Did you see that, Mother?

They line put in the I formation, fourth and goal from the two.

- Excuse me. - What the hell are you doing?

- Excuse me. - Throw the ball! Throw!

Pass! No, don't run it!

Oh, man. Pick up the fumble! Pick it up!

Yeah, Yeah, Yes! Run! No!

It looks like it's time to double up, boy. Outside, let's go.

My car... It's possible ready.

I believe I was here first.

Yeah, well, tough shit, lady. Pick another number.

- I ain't got the money right now. - I 'm speaking to the manager.

Oh, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?

Hold on to it'till I get your money.

All right. I want that big ass thing, too.

Tony!

What's going?

What's the deal with all these tapes?

I'm just for tracking some songs. It uses a lot oftape.

Song parts, really. Just junk

You know what would Help?

Okay, so you just start,

And I'll just jump in with you. Okay?

Go ahead.

Any time you're ready.

What's the matter?

I never played in front of anyone before.

I don't know. I just can't. I feel you watching.

I just sense you're there. I can't, all right? I just can't.

Oh, come on. Come on. Come on. You're joking.

You're not joking?

Hey, that sounded that... that was great, man!

You really think it was good?

Yeah, well, good you know.

- I liked it. You like it, right? - Yeah.

- So, that's what matters, right? - Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Right.

- Yeah. So, you know, we got to start a band. - What?

A band we got to start...

Hey, I don't know. I don't know about a band. I just I don't know about a band that.

You don't know about a band? We have actual melodies here.

Which already puts us way beyond Spittle.

You want these songs to be heard, don't you?

- I don't know. They're kind of personal. - Personal?

"Purple Rain" was personal, man, That went quadruple platinum.

We got the garage, and we got all the gear.

If we did this, we would need more people.

And I don't know, and people don't know me. It's just... people.

Well, I know people.

Hey, yo, Dizz... Dizz.

How do I get in touch with that Wynn guy?

Why? You starting a drug habit?

No. I' m starting a band.

With Wynn? Oh, man, that's perfect.

I'll give him a week

Hell, he freaked out on Spittle after three days

because our rehearsal space was too small.

- Yeah, well, I got a real big garage. - Yeah, well... Good luck

He spends most ofhis time out fishing somewhere near Zebulon.

At least his body does. The rest ofhim's off somewhere.

Between the tangerine trees and the marmalade skies.

You're really good.

Why aren't you in a band already?

I don't know. It's too much hassle.

Is that why you quit Spittle?

Don't get me started on that.

Hi, boys.

You all know not to smoke in here, right?

Good. Now, who wants a snack?

Mom. We're trying to practice.

Doesn't the idea of playing in front of people terrify you, Wynn?

No.

No, man, don't smoke. Don't smoke. Please, please, don't smoke in here...

If we can find a bass player, and it's not too much hassle...

You want to play with us again?

I don't know. I don't know if i could handle this crazy rock'n' roll lifestyle.

You're fired!

- Fired? Who complained? - Get the hell out ofhere!

I don't care if you lost your damn job.

It sounds to me like you're about to lose your damn mind.

Now, I want my money, and I want it now.

I already told you. I ain't you your God damn money, you dumb hick

Look, you either pay me, or you either to work for me. You got that?

Bullshit. I'll get my own job, thank you.

Ah, you couldn't get a blow job from a dead cat.

You're missing with fire, little boy.

You see that? You see it?

Fire!

You're out of your fucking mind!

I guess I'm going to have to sell that little faggot guitar.

It's a bass.

Tony Ridge.

- Eric Ellwood is dangerous. - He's not dangerous.

I don't know, man. The guy is different. He's not from around here, you know.

Plus, he doesn't even have his own bass, so how good can he be?

It was sure nice of Dizz to leave his shit behind, huh?

I just got a feeling, you know?

All right, all right. Maybe Eric does suck, but this way we'll see.

Yeah, well, I got a feeling about having him around my mom's house.

Charlie, your friend is here.

Jesus, can you tum it down? You?

What the hell are you doing at my mother's house?

Charlie, get him out ofhere. This guy's major trouble.

Whoa! Wait second. I'm trouble? You're the bitch that got me fried!

I'm the what? Look what you did to the baby!

- Helen. Helen, stop. Stop. - Charlie, how do you know this creep?

Okay, Helen, this is my band. Leave them alone.

And Eric, that's my sister.

Given enough time, she's going to have everybody in Raleigh fried.

But it's okay because you got a new job with us. Right?

That's it.

I've had it! Mother!

Maybe we should find another place to practice.

- And lose the snacks? - No way.

Hey, Eric, you need to get your bass.

I'll snatch it tomorrow. Why don't you come along?

Steal? What do you mean we have to steal your bass?

It's mine, so it's not stealing. It's taking back. Come on.

Are you sure this Chester guy's not home?

Hello! Anyone at home?

WOW! What's the hell?

Check this place.

Books here. Chester's got a car. Whoa, look at this.

Hey, maybe it's up here in this crawl space.

Bingo.

Grab this.

Holy shit! Look at all this weed!

He wanted me to sell this shit for him, man.

Forget the weed, man. He's got guns, and guns kill.

Yeah.

We're going to have to take all this shit, too.

If we just take the bass and amp, he'll know it was me.

Breaking and entering, theft, guns and drugs.

He's back.

Let's make a run for it. Come on.

No.

Hey, if he messes with us, he's the one that's going to be hurting.

It's not worth it. Let's just forget the stuff.

I mean, let's just forget the band. Just forget it. Forget it.

What are you, out of your mind? Forget the band?

Tony, your songs, they're good.

You really think so?

No. No. No. No. No Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

What are you doing? No. No. It's like this. Listen. Just listen.

- All right? You got it? Come on, try it. - Yeah, very good.

- Try it. Come on, try it. Please. - What am I, a circus monkey?

No, not yet, but you will be. Come on.

Come on, man. We've got to be able to nail

- these songs over and over and over again. - All right?

- All right. - Calm down, colonel.

You know, what ever you want me to play, I'll play... or I won't play at all, all right?

Whatever it is you want me to do, I'll do it.

Hold on.

Hold on.

That's good run. Try... try like this, too.

Just a little dirtier. You know? Just noisier.

Yeah, that's good.

- Are we taping this one? - Yeah.

- And it goes? - "So Long (Ann)".

- Why do half of your songs have Ann? - Easy to rhyme.

- Good boys, want to snacks? - Mom, we're listening.

God damn! You're a tough little son of a bitch to track down.

I want to cash money, and I want it now.

I don't owe you shit, Chester.

You took my bass and amp, remember? We've even.

Damn if that shit wasn't stole before I could sell it...

along with some other pricey goods.

Damn if it was.

It ain't my problem.

What's that piece of paper you got there, boy?

That's right, I forgot.

You don't know how to read.

It's for our lawn service company. It's honest work.

You wouldn't know anything about it.

Don't mess with the Ches'.

So long, boy.

- You've headlining? - Yeah, but that's not all.

An A and R rep from Rival Records is going to be there checking us out for their big winter tour.

- You might get signed? No way. - That's this Friday night, isn't it?

I was going to get you Spittle boys to play at my frat's mixer that night.

Well, I got a band. We'll do it.

You all rock as hard as Spittle?

Hell, yeah. We blow them away.

Yeah, what's your band called?

- "Baby Dummy"? - What about "Pull"?

- I like "Gravel Head". - "Lunch Box".

- "Face Lift in a Jar". - "Fungus".

- "Dirt Devil". - "Porch Kitty".

- Yeah. - No. No. Not with my songs.

"French Kiss Comber".

- "Fried Disney". - "Ammonia Hole".

- "Stiff Stuff". - "Big Whoop".

- Well, how about "The Tony Ridge Project"? - How about shut up?

- "The Talentless Bastards". - "Mind Chatter".

- Yeah. - No.

- "Black Lung". - "The Retarded Coat Hangers".

- "Potato Face". - "Egg Drop Soup".

"Poor Poor Thieves".

- "The Helen Crowd". - "Back and to the Left".

"The Mechanics".

- No. - "The Cheese Honeys".

- No. - "Back and to the Left".

No! It's got to be...

I mean, we're about the music, right? Right?

All right. I got it. I got the name for the group.

It's what you said we had to be in order to do the songs justice.

I'm not one yet, but I will be

Let's rock with Circus Monkey!

- I'm ready for a little Spittle! - We're not Spittle, you geek

"Couldn't Be Ann". Two, three, four...

- What is this? - Boring!

Play some Spittle!

Hey! I remember you,

- you little suck ass wimp faggot! - What, you want some more?

You know, Flagg...

I'd really appreciate it if next time you could just do me a big favor

and think before you run your mouth and book us.

I had a good job once.

Once?

They hated us. We haven't even started, and it's over.

You know, nobody's ever even going to hear about this.

They probably have forgotten about us already.

Circus Monkeys suck!

Hey, listen.

Yes, the rumors are true.

Mess is coming to Chapel Hill's Cat's Cradle for their one and only area show.

- That should be a cool show. - A Mess audience. That's our audience.

We should open for them.

All right. How do we do that? I mean, how do we open up for Mess?

- I hate violence. - How'd Spittle get their club dates?

You know what they did?

They did what we should do. They made a video.

Video?

- Shit. - It's okay. I still have the pixel vision.

I got a B.

I got downgraded for equipment damage.

Tickets only eight-fifty at the door.

And opening for Mess tonight, local new comers, The Circus Monkeys.

We got to get a van.

Whoa! Check out the rock bus!

Mess is so cool.

Shit. There goes Linus Tate.

Maybe we'll meet the legend.

Maybe not.

Hey. What makes this Linus guy a legend?

He's supposed to know a lot about music.

You know, he takes cool bands on the road.

You know, word has it, he likes to every once in a while he ups and disappears.

You know, like he's got some sort of double life.

But then he reappears later on with some other group.

He just pops up, you know?

So, he's a legend.

It sounds like a mystery.

Runs a around the country with bands, disappears on them. Sounds like a flake.

I nailed it. He's a flake.

There's a ton of girls out there.

You like, four-five hundred pound girls, or two of the thousand pound variety?

Charlie...

Is this why you're doing this? The girls? Are you doing it for the girls?

No, Tony. I'm doing it for the songs.

Girls, man! You like girls, don't you?

I hear he likes frat boys. Right?

- Oh, you're that Dizz douche, aren't you? - That's right. Of Spittle.

Rival Records'newest band.

They just signed us for their out of The Underground Winter Tour.

Sponsorship, buses, hotels.

The A and R rep we met right here.

He set us all up. And they'll be filling up tour slots all Fall.

Rival's got reps searching the club circuit right now.

But they're into hard rocking bands, boys.

Later.

Hey! Rival could be they could be here tonight!

- We got to rule this place, man! - Damn straight we got rule it.

Oh, they're going to...

they're going to hate us. They're going to hate us.

Oh, geez. Not this again.

Support, you're on in five.

Is that going to be a problem?

Yeah, well, maybe.

Tony's a little freaked out, 'cause at our...

at our first show, the crowd hated us.

Tony you love the songs, or you love the crowd?

I filmed their video.

She was checking out Mr. Mystery Man behind the drums.

She wants to meet you.

No, it's okay.

What are you talking about? You mean, you got some strange

out there begging for you you're going to tum that down?

I don't mean to bring this up again, and you know I hate to butt into your personal life...

because, you know, I support the rights of the private, but...

I mean, what's? Is there something we should know?

Something you should know? I'm married to the music.

You don't get it, guys?

Hi.

We just played.

We were wondering what you thought of us.

You think we could be another Mess?

Yeah, you know, you think we're any good?

You don't have your own opinion?

Well, I think we're good enough to get a record deal. I mean...

Spittle met an A and R guy, and now they're... they're set

Set?

Be careful of those A and R, guys.

They're generally just looking for some clay.

- Clay? - To mold.

Anyone can get signed. The real test is the road.

But you just have to take your best shot at it.

You might make it, you might not. Most bands fall short.

Why is that?

Impatience.

What do you guys want to do with this band?

Well, we want to be successful, you know?

No, I don't know what you mean by successful. Is the music an end, or a means to an end?

Oh, God. Hey, look, guys.

Do you mind just telling us what the hell you're talking about?

Am I here to shoot balls, or to clear the table?

Look Why don't you do us a favor, all right?

Just let me snatch the pebble from your hand so that we could all go home.

Helen! Puts your car... I'm late.

Open the door.

Where are you in such a hurry to anyway? It's daylight.

My band's recording a single today, Helen.

We're going to put it out ourselves, and go on tour, you know?

That level of activity attracts record labels. Right, Wynn?

Reality check, Chucky.

You're a bunch of deviants making noise in Mommy's garage.

Helen, you know...

You just don't get it, do you? You know, it's my job. It's a real job.

And once we get signed, There's going to be big money involved for us

and everything else, you know?

Like you're going to be a big star, huh?

I can't wait to come to all your shows.

- We can't even afford this thing. - Yeah.

That's a tough price range.

Maybe we could barter.

It's for the music.

Linus Tate.

- Wynn from... - Circus Monkey. I recognize you

even out of make-up.

So, how's it going with the band?

Well, we made a single. That's cool.

Got a... got a van.

It's kind of...

We're trying to get this sort of do it yourself tour together but I don't know.

- You sound tentative. - Well, I am.

I mean... I mean, us alone on the road?

Charlie's like a kid in a candy store.

Eric's a

time bomb.

And Tony's just neurotic. Just fucked.

How about you?

I'm normal.

I'm the normal one.

It wouldn't be so bad if...

we knew what we were doing, but,

you know.

So cool if we could have sort of a road manager, or something to...

I mean, is that something you still do?

Like a new group.

Perhaps... There is something...

Perhaps something? Perhaps what?

Get the net.

T - shirt sales will be our bread and butter, so leave room for the boxes.

Get that in the back

Why are we bringing this flake on the road with us?

I mean, all he's doing is giving us a bunch of damn rules.

Man, you should be more than grateful that he's helping us out.

He senses good things. I saw him sense a fish right before he caught it.

Listen up.

All right. I got the schedule here. Let's go over the plan.

All right. Going on tour means hitting the road.

But it really means your world will shrink

This van will become our home.

So, respect it and protect it.

Okay. Let's go over tonight's schedule.

Tonight we're here at the Brewery in Raleigh. Tomorrow moming, eight A.M. Band call.

All right. Sound check six forty-five.

You get thirty minutes to unload and set up. Let's go.

Hey, Linus...

You going to help?

- Man, I love your legend, Wynn. - Not to worry. Not to worry.

He's intense, but I'm going to get some natural tranquilizers for the road tonight.

Five.

All right. Here's the play list.

Where's Wynn?

I don't know.

- Do you think there's any record guys here? - Just look outside for Wynn.

You know, I might have another customer for you right... right inside.

Tony.

Tony.

- Do you think he's a record guy? - Oh, shit...

I'm going to lose these two right here.

- Right here. - Yeah, right here.

He's not dressed like a record guy.

- Is he a record guy? - Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you little shit.

Well, I guess you didn't want any weed.

- Why didn't you just settle it with him? - I did.

Yeah, until he wakes up.

We'll be out of town by then.

We're coming back

He's not a record guy, right?

This is, "Ann it Goes".

- How are you doing back there, Linus? - I'm all set, man.

I've got plenty to keep me busy.

Hey, we did send the singles to the college radio stations, didn't we?

- Shit. I know I forgot something. - What?

They're there, Charles. They're there, kid. They're there at the station, all right?

And when they claim ninety billion served. I mean, I'm sorry, but there's not...

there's not even that many cows in the entire galaxy.

And you remember a couple of years ago...

There was this rumor going around that it wasn't actually meat at all.

That it was like a specially bred protein worm.

Everybody freaked out, you know?

But what if it wasn't a rumor? What if it was true?

The entire nation would be healthier for it.

Nobody understands.

It's too mush of a mystery. That's why I only eat veggie burgers.

Hey, Eric, come and eat!

You know what I was wondering?

After nineteen ninety nine comes the year two thousand, right?

And then two thousand and one and two thousand and two and so on until two thousand and nine.

But then what happens?

Is it two thousand and ten, or is it twenty-ten?

That show totally influenced glam rock, not only fashionwise.

I mean, Roxy, Glitter, The Dolls.

Man, all those guys. Major trekkies.

You know, I think memories pop up because of similar conditions... be they

temporal,

...nutritional, meteorological...

...physiological.

You know, the power of the brain is largely uncharted territory.

I mean, We only use something like what? Like three percent of our brain power.

And then whatever letter the one the one that I said that starts with A ends with Wynn,

You'll say one that starts with that letter. And it goes around and around and around,

and whoever is the one...

It was after a gig, maybe five in the moming.

We've been down that stretch of highway,

I don't know, a thousand times.

Everybody was sleeping, including me.

The problem being I was driving.

We hit the guard rail doing sixty or so.

The van started flipping like a cuisinart.

Blew into flames.

I thank God to this day nobody was killed.

Where'd you say you was headed next?

- You tired? - No.

- You sure? - Yeah.

- Here, have some of this. - No.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Have some.

- It's got a lot of caffeine in it. - All right.

What the hell is this?

Hey, Wynn, can you hand me my drink?

I mean, you try to show a french fry to a real frenchman some time, you know what?

He's not going to recognize it.

He's going to say, "What is this thing you wave at me?"

Hey, do you all. You all hear that? You hear something funny?

Did you figure it out yet?

Should we call the club?

We should, right?

It's not that much further.

There's no phone.

This is bad, right?

Do you have an off switch, Flagg?

Hey, Tony,

Give the ignition a try.

Hey, Hey, listen. Listen.

It's us on the radio!

We're huge!

Regular rotation? How?

Well, that's the biz.

You guys are what's happening with the college chart action.

Yeah, come on in. Come on. Come on.

You'll sit right there for the on air interview with me...

Vitamin D.J.

Tony. Tony Ridge.

- Wynn. - Charlie Flagg, percussion.

- Eric. Mechanic. - And Vitamin D.J. Here.

The band is in town on tour.

Let's find out from lead singer song writer, Tony, a little bit about the Circus Monkeys.

Describe the band, Tony.

- Actually, it's just Circus Monkey. - Oh, I'm sorry.

Vitamin...

The band goes beyond straight pop, but not hard rock

It's what we like to call...

"Ultrapop"

Ultrapop. Absolutely.

So, what are Circus Monkey's hopes future.

We want to take ultrapop to a wide audience on a major lable.

But a cool label like Rival Records with their out of the underground tour and all.

The Rival Tour. Hey, that's big business.

Yeah, word's out that they signed one of their last spots to Hard Dog.

Was that why you started the band, Tony?

Well, actually, I started it, and I'd say yes.

I'd say no.

Difference of opinion. Interesting. Where's the soul of the band at?

It's our music.

Vitamin, the question of soul

is, is our music an end, or is it a means to an end?

Which is very deep. But as deep, tortured, individuals, you know...

We face these... we face these questions every day.

And this tour is something that we need to do together...

as... as a band,

because...

our best work lies ahead.

I see.

Well, let's play the single.

Here's Circus Monkey, and... "It Couldn't Be Ann".

- What are you doing? - What am I doing?

I'm just trying not to be boring. We're a band, remember?

Do you think anybody really cares what we say?

What's this we shit? It's what Charlie's saying.

Hey, I'm just trying to come up with something.

I think the deep thing will work people will buy that.

Keep paraphrasing Linus, I find that fascinating.

It we come off like Idiots, nobody's going to come to the show tonight.

Yeah, tool. Don't make us look stupid! Tool.

Oh, great, yeah. Kick the shit out of me.

- Who's going to play drums? - Yet appropriate.

Hey, look, can't you keep your mouth shut just once?

Listen. We're supposed to talk We're on the radio.

We're supposed to talk, right? We're on the radio.

Hey, you keep out of this, Vitamin, all right?

From now on, when someone asks him a question, let him answer it.

You don't answer it!

I was just trying to keep the ball rolling. Trying to keep

To keep something going. Keep it alive.

Vitamin, is it possible to get a cup of coffee?

- I want some caffeine. - Coffee?

Shut up! You just have to leam to shut up just once in a while!

Some coffee is all I want.

The light's on.

Shut up! We're back on the air, just shut up!

Who's telling who to shut up?

Now these people are going to hear this. We can't come back here and play!

The world's going to end some day.

All right. That was Circus Monkey with "It Couldn't Be Ann".

They're here in Athens, GA for the first leg of their over and under tour.

- Over and Over. - Yes, thank you. Now, please leave.

Well,

Blew our fifteen minutes.

Where the hell are they, man? We were great tonight.

Face it, Flagg, you're a chick repellent.

I'm talking about The Rival scouts, Ellwood.

Hi, I'm not home right now...

Circle Monkey?

Geez, how are we supposed to get a break if they don't even know our name?

Can't you do anything about this, Linus? We're running out of time.

Time for what?

We are Circus Monkey circus.

Thank you.

Trevor "T" Park from Rival Records Incorporated.

"T" stands for Trumholdt. Okay, guy?

I'll cut to the chase.

I likes what I saw. A lot of potential.

But you're young. I need to see more A.S.A.P.

I here's the low down on what's up.

Night after tomorrow is our showcase in Raleigh.

- We're from Raleigh. - I know. That's beautiful.

Man, your hometown scene is so hot, I could feel the heat from here.

Now, I'll give you the opening slot.

You pass that audition.

And you catsill be rocking with Rival on tour.

We're there. No problem.

I'm talking jumbo coin here.

Now, can't promise anything, of course, but...

I got a real good feeling about you all.

- You all, okay? - Yes, ma'am Thanks. Fine.

I can't wait to throw this in Dizz's face, This is major.

This is major, right, Linus? It is major?

Well, he said he liked what he saw, not what he heard.

And he did say, "potential".

It could be you guys just fit the suits.

Yeah, Mr. Legend?

And it could be that we're going to get a decent deal here,

and make some money... and be able to cut some of the dead weight.

They wouldn't change the music, would they?

Well, I wouldn't check that bait for a hook

But it's a definite MIG.

MIG?

Most important gig.

Where are we?

We're in Nashiville. You could be anywhere, though.

Are we going back to Raleigh, tonight or tomorrow?

'Cause it'd be real nice if we could rent a hotel room or something,

Get out of that van for a night.

Aren't you forgetting we have a show first?

- Where? - Jackson.

- Mississippi. - Jackson, Mississippi. Yeah.

Oh, I think we could blow that one off right now.

We can't do that.

- Why not? - It's scheduled.

Well, how far is it from Raleigh to Jackson to Raleigh?

Eight hundred and ten miles.

How much are we getting paid?

Sixty bucks.

Well, that's not even gas money. Forget it.

We're going to kill ourselves trying to get back to our MPG or whatever.

MIG.

I think Wynn's right.

I know Wynn's right.

We're going to Jackson.

It's too damn far.

We're going to Jackson.

It's scheduled. We're going. I'm going.

We're going.

Fucking drama queen.

Hey, Tony.

Tony.

Come on. The idea is to unpack the van. Let's go.

I'm starving.

I am starving...

Hi.

- Hi. - Are you Circus Monkey?

Yeah. Well,

Yeah, Well, I am a Circus Monkey.

I'm Charlie. I'm the drummer.

Wow. Cool looking drums.

Yeah...

They're... They're all mine.

- Tony. - Ann.

- Ann? - Ann?

- Ann. - As in "The" Ann?

- Ann, this is Eric. - Hi.

And this is Wynn. And you met Charlie.

This is my band.

Can we go over here?

Ann, you look good.

I mean, I haven't seen you...

This is unfucking believable. After all that shit.

He pulls on us about, "I'm in it for the music".

I knew there was an Ann.

What are we doing here?

That's Ann.

As in "The" Ann.

I was wondering when she was going to tum up.

I want you to meet our manager.

Hey, Linus.

This is Ann Halen Ann Halen, Linus Tate.

I know. Hello.

How did he know?

Well, this is great, but we got a radio interview to do.

So let's get all this gear out of the van, let's get in there and go.

I'm not getting back in that thing. Count me out.

Yeah, I'll take a raincheck, too.

Yeah, Linus, let's just skip this one, man.

We drive all this way, and you're not going to let town know we're here?

Uh... uh. No way, Tony.

You're going. It's schedule.

- Yeah, Tony. I think you should do it. - Really?

Yeah, I'd love to hear you on the radio.

All right.

- Radio? I'll go. I'll go with you. - They's okay. I can handle this one.

Ann, you could go, though. You could watch me right there in the booth.

No, thanks, really. I've got to go. I've got to get a veggie burgers. I'm sorry.

I love veggie burgers.

Well, do you want to go get one with me?

Yeah, Yeah Right. Veggie burgers.

Great.

Okay,

- Fine. I'll just meet back here afterwards. - Okay. Good luck

Thanks.

Since the universe is expanding, we are, too.

Like your sweater.

It's twice the size it was two years ago...

But, see, so are you, so you don't even notice.

- It's all relative. - I know all about that.

And the creepiest thing is knowing that George Washington was only this big.

Yeah, exactly.

And, you know, I saw this documentary about dinosaurs,

And they probably weren't much bigger than bugs.

I think that like the microorganisms today are really dinosaurs.

And so this song, "It Couldn't Be Ann", this goes out to you.

You made us come all the way here for a girl, didn't you?

That's your fault.

Yeah, Mr. Married to the music.

What the hell do we look like, a backup band so you could get laid?

What are you talking about? Where's Charlie?

I don't know. He must be still having lunch.

They never came back from lunch, did they? They probably got lost or something.

Hey, but, you know, look at it this way. I mean,

Even though Charlie's been scamming on every girl since we left Raleigh, I mean...

Tony has nothing to worry about, right?

- No. I mean. - No I guess not.

She is your girlfriend, right?

So, you think Charlie finally scored?

Who knows? Miracles happen.

- Where the hell is my wallet? - Who the hell case.

It's probably in the van.

I got to talk to Tony.

That's it. That's it. That's it!

Show's canceled.

You're not canceling the show, man.

Not after driving all the way here.

Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing? I just set this shit up!

Show's canceled.

Are you totally whacked out of your mind?

Hey, where have you been, drummer boy?

- Hi. Yeah, where have I been. - Yeah, where have you been?

That's a good question, and I want to talk to you.

All right. Start talking. Start talking.

- Well, what do you? - All right. Fine. I'll talk to you.

Who the hell does, he think he is? He's not canceling the show.

It's over, man.

- You knew how I feel about her! - Wait! Wait! No!

She told me that you were friend. She just told me that you were friends.

- Friends? I got friends. - It's not my fault.

It's your fault. You should have told her how you felt about her, man.

Oh, so you dive in, and you don't give me a hance to tell her?

Hey, you've known her for a year, man. You've had plenty of chances to tell her.

- And that was my chance! - Hey!

You're both acting like two little assholes, and I'm really getting sick ofthis bullshit.

I don't give a fuck what you two babies do on your own time...

But when this shit starts spilling over on the rest of us, then I care.

But if i can't count on the guy in my band to respect what little I have...

Then the hell with them,

- and the hell with the fucking band. - I'm try to tell you,

I do respect what little you have.

Jesus, Eric, we can work his out!

Shut up. Somebody's taking shit out of the van.

- It's probably Wynn, man. - Wynn's right there.

- It's Linus then. It's Linus. - He never moves.

- So what? It's got to be Linus! - Hey!

Don't move or you're dead, you son of a bitch!

Oh, man I knew this was going to happen. I told you he was unpredictable.

And that time Dizz Said, he was a bad apple.

Shut up!

What just happened?

Eric shot at you, that's what happened.

Oh, man. Wynn?

- Why do you have a gun? - He's probably in shock

Oh, my God.

To take care of problems.

Eric, violence is a problem. It's not a solution.

It's a problem. Let it go.

Hey, you want to give me a hand with him?

It's all right, guys. We'll take care of it.

I think we need to talk alone.

Tony.

I'm sorry if you had the wrong idea about us.

Somehow I led you on.

We were great friends in Raleigh, you know?

You're still very special to me.

I heard part of one of your songs on the radio. You know, the one about me?

It was really good.

And I'm really looking forward to seeing you play tonight.

My wallet.

You left it in my jacket when you wore it yesterday, freak show.

You know, I am so sorry that I involved you in all this.

Tony, don't be like that.

Charlie, are you coming or going man?

- Tony? - What?

I feel bad.

I mean...

I feel bad on top of the bad that I know that you want me to feel.

Something creepy is going on.

Every man has an id.

You know? His dark side.

You see, his id usually doesn't mess with him because he keeps it,

Way down. Sort of suppressed.

But, see, when fate says that it's time for you to meet your id...

There's nothing you can do about it.

Fate told us it was time for us to meet our id. That's why it look us to Jackson.

You know, and I've got this bad feeling that now...

Now that it's got hold of us, it's not going to let us go.

It's just going to jeep us in this kind of twilling zone.

You know, I mean we've been on the road.

For like twelve hours, and nobody's moves.

Nothing's changed. Nobody's, nobody's said anything.

It's like we're on one ofthose flintstones loops where the same tree, and the same...

Sign going over, and over, and over.

And the weirdest thing id that we're getting great great gas mileage.

I mean, we've been out here twelve hours and we haven't stopped to fill up once, and...

You know, we've never been able to do that.

And the only explanation is that. We're caught on this endless conveyer belt of evil.

We got gas five hours ago. You were asleep.

Oh.

Well, okay. I guess maybe we're off the conveyer belt now.

So then, what exactly are we doing? Are we?

Are we a band going back to Raleigh for a show?

Are we just some guys leaving Jackson?

Stop.

- Stop the van. - Take it easy, buddy.

Oh, man, I got to ge out of here. I got to get out ofhere!

Take it easy.

- We're going to stop at the next stop. - No, I really got to get out ofhere.

No. No. No. No.

- Hey! Watch the door! Watch the door, man! - I got to get out of here!

Stop

Stop the van!

Well, I don't think he's coming back

What are you looking at me for? I didn't shoot at him.

Hey, I didn't shoot at him, either, all right?

The bullet ricochet. It hit his beer.

I'm sorry.

Well, I think that being cooped up in the van probably had a lot to do with it, too.

Yeah.

Well, that, and being shot at.

But you forced him to a long and pointless ride in here that...

Would have been too much for anybody to take.

What? You can't blame me.

It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault.

It was fate, Remember?

Fate, and our ids, and the conveyer belt, and the flintstones.

And all that other pile of shit that you came up with.

Just to cover up the fact that you stole Ann!

Oh, from who?

What are you?

I thought we were over this?

I was holding... I didn't want anyone else to get a hold of it

- and get in trouble. - Where are you going?

I'm gonna' go get Wynn.

And I'm gonna' give him this, and let him toss it so. It will ease his mind.

And maybe he'll get back in the van, and we can...

We can go back to Raleigh.

In time for that show tonight.

You still want to do that? I... I didn't think you wanted to do that.

I'm sorry about making us go to Jackson.

You know, Ann.

Charlie.

I mean. We got one more show, man.

And I really want to do it.

Because... I

I think we got a real chance here.

I mean, we can make a living at this. We can show people what we can do.

So, I'd like for you to be part of that.

I'd like to get back in that van.

And go back to Raleigh.

I'm not getting back in that van...

- Oh, man, come on, just... - 'til I catch a fish. Here, hold this.

- Where are you going? - Find some night crawlers.

- Hi there. - Hi, how are you?

Mind if i take a looking at your fishing license?

I got to pay how much?

Fishing in country waters without a license is

a one hundred and twenty five dollar offense.

But I didn't catch anything!

- You had your line in the water. - Did you see any bait?

Any night crawlers? No. You didn't even see a bucket.

Look at my pockets. My pockets are empty.

You can discuss it with the magistrate.

Hey, this is bullshit. Wynn? Wynn?

- Out of my way. - See, Eric? This is what happens.

You can discuss it with the magistrate.

It's nine o'clock now, and there's only a few hours left.

Now we really want to do this. So, you know where we're at, and...

All right. Bye.

Does the one call count if you get a machine and not a person?

Blood plasma. Everybody needs plasma.

Sperm.

No, you can't sell sperm. If you could, it would be a nation of millionaires.

No, you could sell sperm. It doesn't pay much, though.

We need sixty bucks. That'll take all day.

Let's sell his equipment.

We can't sell his equipment. I mean, if he gets out tonight, we need it for the show.

Oh, yeah.

Look We paid the fishing fine, and we paid the court cost.

But we don't have any more money so about this bail thing.

You think, if l gave you the gun, we could just call it even?

Okay, you all ready? Just like in the garage. Right?

One, two, three, four.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Whoa!

- What song are we doing? - "It Couldn't Be Ann."

"And It Goes".

All right. Well, let's just pick one.

The same one.

What you doing there? Thinking?

Prison's a good place for that.

Gives a man a lot of time to think.

Hold on. Hold on.

First, you shouldn't even be singing.

And if you're gonna' sing, sing it right. It goes like twice like this.

I can't believe what a fool I've been. I don't even know why I wrote those songs.

I mean... I thought it was about her, but I made her into something she wasn't.

Something she never should have been.

- She's right for Charlie. - Your drummer?

Right.

When there was a band.

Linus.

Look, we need your help.

My songs are a tale told by an idiot.

Full of sound and a fury signifying...

Nothing.

Nothing.

I love it.

Hey, rebel. I'm here to do business, amigo, and bail you out.

Look at it as an advance.

I had a vision.

We could make this outlaw thing part of the monkey image.

I mean, we'll shoot the video right here.

Knock up a jail set from my photos.

Thanks, babe.

I'll have the girls in the office write up a treatment.

You're gonna'be big. Tone.

- I'm ready to be big. - You will be.

Now, let's go find your rocking compdres, outlaw.

- Tony. - Hey, boys.

Trumhlodt Yes! We can make it to the show.

- What are you doing to my music? - What's going on?

We're eaming your freedom.

That's a tip of the iceberg, boys.

Nice try. Don't sweat it, though. I'll swing this band's image around.

- What image? - I'll explain it on the road.

We got to get to el airport pronto, Mi amigos.

- Airport? Rock jet? - You got it.

Yeah, this is fine, Good.

Okay.

Asong is "Jail Cell".

I got it on film.

Believe me, it's primo. It's exactly what you guys need.

You mean, you want us to wear

those striped convict uniforms?

No. You guys aren't working on the chain gang.

Now, I see you guys more as rebesl outlaw.

You know, we'll come up with some kind of a clothing style

later on that really brings. That image home, but, no.

I won't have you wearing stripes. All right? Okay? I'm off.

- Well, wait. What about the rock jet? - It's right here.

All right. You guys got six hours.

You can just make it back to Raleigh if you motor.

Now, I'll pre-sell this whole outlaw image to the company prez.

She will be there. So this could be B. I. G. For you and me.

It's a second chance, guys. Run with it.

We will. I mean, we got to. It's do or die time for us, you know?

Make it do. Definite.

Don't worry. After all that this band's been through, nothing can stop us now.

Look, a little image isn't so bad.

We were too naive before. I say give them what they want!

What did they do to you back in that jail?

Yeah. Why do you suddenly want us to be Spittle?

I never said I wanted to be like Spittle, but think about it.

Wynn, what's so bad about pleasing Rival Records,

and getting a tour bus like Spittle gets?

Well, the problem isn't getting things like Spittle gets.

The problem is getting like Spittle.

I think there's an apparent difference in the music.

For now.

Look They won't change the music.

Nobody cares who we are.

I see. You didn't get the girl, so now you don't care who we are.

Well, I don't think that's very smart. Because we are the music.

And they will change the music.

Once they see that we're clay, they will mold and shape every aspect of us.

Our tunes, our lyrics, our tempo.

Whole songs will succumb. And then the entire point...

Of doing what we want, of being what we want, is gone.

If you become big like that, it won't be you.

You won't win the girl.

You'll lose yourself.

Damn, Eric.

If your music really means anything to you,

You'll get over this.

I don't know that I can.

What are you doing?

Eric's right, man. I'm done. That's it. I'm through.

No, you're not.

- I'm done. - Go get your guitar.

No.

You shouldn't kill your guitar, man.

You know, this is the most pitiful cry for help I've ever seen in my entire life.

If you really wanted to destroy that thing,

You would've smashed it against the ground like any good musician.

- This is so... what's the word? - Melodramatic.

- I'm not letting you do this. - No.

He has to get it on his own.

We don't have time. It's do or die, remember?

That's right. It's die.

Somebody has to get the guitar because he plays it in every song.

Yeah, exactly. Right.

But if we go pick it up, then it doesn't mean anything.

Well, I know he's just trying to fool himself

into thinking it doesn't mean anything to him.

It means a whole llot to us. It must mean even more to him.

It means a lot to everybody, but a ain is coming.

And if the train comes, it's going to destroy the band.

Well, listen, the band is destroyed anyway if he doesn't go pick it up.

Because that means that he doesn't want it.

He's a talented guy. He's going to come around.

Yeah, well, let him come around on his own.

Well, let's get the guitar, and then let him come around.

If we wait all day for him to come around, it's not going to happen.

And that's exactly, why he has to make the decision.

There's no time for that, Eric.

- Well, then, there's no time for the band. - There is time for the band.

I'm gonna' get it. I'm gonna' get it, Because of you three.

You'd think a train would do more damage than this.

Well, it did enough damage.

- What are you going to play tonight? - I don't know.

- We don't even have any money. - I don't know.

Tip of the iceberg ought to cover this problem.

Oh, man!

- It sounded like a... gas. - It's gas. Smell it?

I do smell gas. Why do I smell gas?

That's the shot. Super work, guys.

Nice outfit, Dizz.

Yeah, well, it's like John Lennon said:

"To get as big as the Beatles, you got to play the game."

You are starting to look like the egg man.

I think you mean the walrus.

What ever.

But if you want your name on that banner, and a ride on the rock'n' roller coaster...

I'd buy a clue.

"Buy a clue". I'll buy a mirror.

Because Spittle is gonna' have their ride on the rock'n'roller coaster.

I just can't wait until we're out on stage playing.

Neither can we, tiger.

Neither can we.

There they are my banderos of outlaws. Boys, Rival Records president, Mona Larue.

Hi, guys.

Well, I see what you mean.

The right stylist could get them going.

- Do they have wardrobe for tonight? - Actually, we don't.

We kind of need to talk about all of that.

Let me explain to you how the business works.

At Rival, it's all about our relationship.

We, the label, and you, the talent.

In a nutshell, we work for you, and you play for us.

We work You play.

I believe a band should be free.

Free to be creative.

And free from the mundane discomforts that face the band.

So, we take care of you. We provide tour support.

Travel, hotels, meal, money.

You know, the business end, so you can concentrate on playing.

Your're creative. We're business.

- That sounds good. - So, how does... how does all this begin?

- With a signing bonus. - I like that.

Followed by a tour bus.

Certainly. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

It's much more than that. A seven record contract.

I'll put these out.

Oh, you're starting with "So Long Ann".

We program your playlist, too. To work the crowd.

We do it all. In what sense?

I mean, a playlist involves the music, and we take care of the music, right?

Of course. And that's where we're a team.

Our producers finesse your material to compliment our marketing strategy.

And together we strive towards the Rival sound.

But we have a sound.

I'm talking about a sound that's fully radio ready.

We think it would be better to let our music be what it is.

It will be.

It already is.

Listen. Your songs are just a raw product.

They won't make you a success on their own.

You need a machine.

A good machine, and that's what we are.

Let me tell you Circus Monkeys something.

This lady knows her business.

But she hasn't even heard our songs.

Mona, don't you think you should at least hear what we have first?

Of course, I will, Tony. But you have to realize your songs...

while important, are only a small part of the pie.

Not to me.

If it's going to be like this, maybe...

Maybe we should just forget this.

You're not serious.

Oh, yeah. Right, guys?

Right?

Tony. Cool that hot head of yours, man.

This is not what the band wants, of needs.

- Yeah, Tony. We... we can work this out. - You need us.

Now, don't be babies.

We went through hell to get here, and it comes to this?

I know.

But we got to do what it takes, right?

I think Tony's right.

I know Tony's right.

Be sensible.

This is a business decision.

You're a band.

Ultimately, it's about business.

Hey, you know what?

It's about more than that.

Forget it.

Play lists are set.

- We're not playing. - Some kind of problem?

Rival was the problem, Linus. Not a solution, only a problem.

We let them go.

We'll be fine on our own, Linus.

Don't forget to have fun.

Not now, dude. We go on in two.

There's been a change in the schedule.

Good evening.

- You want me to dump this loser? - Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

There's something here.

Thanks.

Get him over here.

Now.

- This act of yours is happening. - Happening?

Want to make a record?

I think I've got everything I need here today.

- Kids can play, yeah? - Maybe next year, Trumholdt.

Exactly my thinking.

If they last.

I'd say that's a fairly safe bet.

I am, however, offering you a contract now.

We're not supposed to be here, but we thought it would be fun...

To be with the rest of the world.

Two, three, four.