Original subtitles

Thank you

Oh my, a grenade!

Bye-bye

I'm sorry, the lift's out of order

Sorry. Bye-bye

Don't move!

Over there! Hurry! Where is he? Over there!

Aren't you through with it yet?

I'm tuning the engine...

Eh, no no... fixing the steering wheel

Now your car's going to be hot,

hotter than Indian curry

If I didn't promise your late father I'd look after you,

I'd have thrown you into the ocean

I'm sorry

Now what's next?

Airplane

What?

A pleasure boat

What?

Oh no, flying a kite

Then get on with it!

Yes, to fly a kite, fly a kite

Get on with it!

Bye-bye

Hello Roberto

Hello, Monty, long time no see

Hello Monty, had a nice time in Hong Kong?

No!

Godfather's not happy

Me too

He's waiting for you, good luck, Monty boy

Gracia, Gracia

Don Antonio

Go find your mama, baby Monty my son

Don Antonio, I'm sorry

You're sorry, what's the matter with you? Ah? What's the matter with you?

Don Antonio

Every time you make a mistake you come back to me and give me a lot of bullshit,

now tell me who did it?

White gloves

Is him? Where is he now?

He's in Venice

So I believe you my boy

I never lie to you Godfather

But now, you go to Hong Kong and get me the diamonds

Why me?

You do as I say, or you'll be dead fish

You can use my connection sin Hong Kong

I can lose the diamonds

but I cannot lose Italian's face, Capice!

But I'm British!

Stupid

You still don't know British and Italians are cousins

I've never heard of it

Diamonds or your life!

Sir, according to our investigation...

Hold it, you don't have to speak English to foreigners,

you can speak Chinese

Hua, you carry on

A robbery has recently taken place in Tsimshatsui Centre

An invaluable consignment of diamonds

was stolen and strangely enough,

the case was not reported

Let's have a look at the information we've gathered

This is Szeto Bud-yen,

a local gangster who deals in loot

This is an up-and-coming leader of an international smuggling syndicate,

and Italian by the name of Monterosso

In this robbery,

Szeto didn't suffer any losses,

and the Italian hadn't made a report either

The only clue that's left at the scene

was a white glove

We have no further information I complete blank

The above information is furnished

by our informer Squealie

Because of the extraordinary status of his identity

we cannot disclose his name

We all know him, it's Ming the Muddlehead

Quiet, don't ruin the atmosphere

This is the world's most renowned burglar White Glove

He specializes in diamonds and gold,

has 7 passports, 8 names, 9 identities

and 2 sexes

That he has this time graced our city

with his presence is indeed our honour,

but at the same time our misfortune

So we must get in touch

with his arch enemies and enlist their help

Arch enemies?

Yes, he has two of them

The first is Peter Sellers, the Pink Panther

but the Lord has called him to His side

The second is...

Hey, get out of the way!

The super sleuth from the USA, Kodojak

Because of White Glove,

he was demoted from a single/single/flush to a no letter/no flower,

from a sergeant to a constable

And his superiors have told him that

if he didn't capture White Glove in three months' time

he could draw his pension, go back to his home town and wash dishes

And so we decide to bring Kodojak here

because he is most keen on getting White Glove

We'll also be assigning this year's Most Outstanding Youth Award winner,

our lady superintendent Ho Tung-see

Ah, that shrew!

To assist Kodojak

in this case

Excellent idea!

Hey buddy, you got a light?

Wow, it's a babe!

Come on baby, light my fire

Yeah but her outfit's a bit conservative

Don't let appearances deceive you

So you guys wanna look?

S u re!

Now don't blink!

So you want a light, eh?

Don't drive me mad or my gun's gonna discharge

It's all his fault, I got nothing to do with it

We won't do it again, ma'am

Let's go. It's all your fault!

You say it's my fault?

Why didn't you bring a light

along with your cigarettes?

Come on, let's go out of here

What're you looking at? Ain't never seen a woman's legs?

No, I'm just admiring your holster

Superintendent Ho, are you here to meet Kodojak?

I am not got time for that

I come here to look for Squealie

How're you going find him in this crowd?

Don't you worry about that

He's surface when I shout

Squealie!

Not here!

Now hold it right there!

Gotta run!

Hold it!

Come on down here

There's no one around now, don't take it so seriously

I'm covering you up. What've got for me?

3 clues, two are good and the other's bad

Let's hear the good ones

The good ones are: Baldy is arriving from the States today

and you've been assigned to work with him

How did you get to know our top secret?

I'm an informer

And then?

And then there's going to be a robbery

at the Chow Tai Fok Jewellery in Kowloon City

How do you know it's today?

I picked the day for them

What? Is today a good day?

No, it's a lousy day

And what about the bad one?

The bad one

is your superiors said you wouldn't be at the airport today

and told me to do my rounds here

And I have to run into you

What rotten luck!

Rotten luck, eh?

The plane has landed

Yes, the plane has landed. Go wait for him, I got to go work on a case

What case?

None of your business. Anyway it's hot

- Wind against Water, - Snow against Wind,

White against Red,

- Four Great Happiness, - Young husband,

- Losing is tough, - Winning is fun

I'm Benny Chan

I'm Albert Au

That's my cover name

Same here

Hey boss,

someone's gonna hold you up in a minute

Don't get alarmed, I'm here

Nobody moves, it's a hold up, Get away from here

Don't move, What抮e you try to do? Lie down here!

Everybody stand against the corner, get moving!

Get a move on and fill it up!

What're you looking at? Turn your face away!

Attention all units,

alarm at the Chow Tai Fok Jewellery in Kowloon City

Check out the situation

Where's the Chow Tai Fok Jewellery?

Just around the corner,

Let's go then

We're all set, chief

Good. Go get a car. Don't move

Don't move. Get back in there, or I'll blow your brains off

Don't move

We're ready, chief

Don't come after us

Let's get going

Get out, the Royal Hong Kong police now requisitions your car

Where's the key?

Right here... Ha ha ha!

- Be quick - Drive fast

It's hard to be slow but it's easy to be fast

- What are you doing? - To hell

Do you want to send us to hospital?

I'll shoot you. Watch out!

Drive

Do you know how to drive, Baidhead?

It's just an accident

Just drive, hurry up

Shit, do you know how to drive?

Come down, cop is here

I'm a cop in USA

You're cop? You still have accent

Are you illegal immigrant?

No

These things can be bought everywhere

It's sold at 30 cents at Temple Street

Look, I catch a thief for you

Come in here

Get away. Sit down

Who among you four is the chief?

Chief

Buffalo, monkey, book them

You with a beard, come over here

Move away

Sit

Thank you

Over there

Okay, okay

You didn't get me this time

Country bumpkin, are you familiar with the law of Hong Kong?

No, I'm not familiar with the law of Hong Kong,

but I know everything about law in the States

Kid from the mainland, how dare you go so far as to commit robbery?

When did you arrive?

Just now

Did you swim or climb over the hills?

I came in on a flight

You got friends and relatives in Hong Kong?

No relatives and no friends that I know

But there's one person who knows me

Who is that?

The Governor

He called and invited me here

Smart and slick, eh!

Peasant, you have the right to remain silent,

but anything you say...

may use against me in court Is that right?

Your name?

Albert Au. Au Shui-keung

So it's become popular to have an English name in the mainland

Where's your hometown?

Tai-shan

Are you married?

No. You?

None of your business. Sex?

Ma'am, I have a beard

So what?

That means I'm a man. Look at you!

Your head don't look like a man's, your body don't look like a woman's

Put them together you don't look like a man or a woman

What's your sex?

What抮e you trying to do?

I didn't hit you and you hit me? Don't move!

Excellent, excellent Absolutely marvelous!

Super sleuth Kodojak, you're as good as they say

Not really. This lady is even better

Of course Superintendent is very good

She is also very efficient, but a little slow with the gun

I've specially arranged for her

to assist you on this case

She? No thanks

And to cover up your identity,

you two will pose as a married couple

What? Him as my husband?

How can he be worthy of it with his looks?

Look at that face

You bitch! I'll take you

Fatty, have you booked me a room at the hotel?

Yes

Get a room next to mine for her

I'm going to be her husband

Don't imagine it!

Are you scared of him, Superintendent Ho?

Me, afraid of him?

I'm just not used to hotels Stay at my place, I dare you

Your place?

You chicken?

Me chicken? I'm not afraid even if her place is haunted

Hey Baldy, don't treat me like a woman

The whole precinct treats me like a man

And remember

We're only pretending to be married Don't you take it seriously

Oh come on, I've seen it all before

What's the big deal? Come on out, sissy

According to my contact's information,

those diamonds were stolen by him

He is called King Kong His nickname is Flying Frog

He has a partner called Bullshit Spring

This is Bullshit Spring. He is women's sweetheart

He has many women's phone numbers

They never show up after they did it

King Kong lives at 5th floor

Hello

Hello, King Kong, I'm Bullish Spring

- Not my name again - No...

Red Cat calling Black Cat, over

Black Cat roger. Please speak

I'm going to hide those diamonds

- Not diamonds again - Peanuts

I'm going to tell you where I hide the peanuts

Don't tell me. I'll say it out in dream

I know that, but you know...

we'll screw up if I don't tell you

Why?

Because I've fooled around with Madman's sister

How dare you!

You're going to die

Why don't we talk at a restaurant?

Okay, which one?

I can't tell you now

How can I know if you don't tell me?

Let me tell you secretly. Listen, Black Cat

It's Seven Heavens Restaurant

I can't hear it. Please speak louder

Idiot!

Seven Heavens Restaurant, sick cat

Go now, Black Cat is waiting at you

You've fooled around with Madman's sister

Just give back the diamonds to Black Cat

Not diamonds, peanuts

It's him

Ah! White Glove! It's him! Go after him

King Kong!

Oh no, it's her!

Stay right there, King Kong!

Not that one, the other one!

You trying to kill me?

Learn to drive for a few more years

You bastard!

Bye-bye, Baldy

Don't you go, don't you go... I'll catch you

Hold it right there, Flying Spider!

Stop, police

Bye-bye. Chai-pau, bye

Stop!

A table for how many sir?

I'll help myself

Panda here. The diamonds

No, I mean, the peanuts...

are very well hidden

And I've tattooed the secret respectively

on the bodies of two women

Keep talking, no need to be so nervous

No need to be so nervous? You know how in the movies

the one who's telling the secret always gets killed

before he's half way through talking

Don't worry, the one who listens doesn't get killed

Get it out

The diamonds...

What is it?

I'm shot. Can't you see?

It's only the champagne Get on with it

It's not safe here. Let's go to the washroom

Okay. Now I can talk

Go on

I put the diamonds... I mean, the peanuts in Kowloon...

Wait, hush

Why?

Don't worry, go ahead

I'm deaf, I can't hear anything

He's dumb. He didn't say anything. Come on, let's go

Eh, what is it?

Mad Max!

Oh no this is the end

Let's slip out from the back

Come in here,

Go on, there's no one here

The peanuts are...

Wait, don't you find this lift kind of small?

Watch it to your right

Keep an eye on your left

Mind your back

It's okay, they are ghosts

You're a ghost!

Take it easy. We'll talk against the Ching and restore the Ming,

the Shaolin monk shaves his head,

the burning of the Red Lotus Temple

What's that?

To repeat every word a second time

Get on with it then

The peapee nutnuts a-are

mm cowkow bonbon

What did you say?

The peanuts are in Kowloon

Ex-x cuse-cuse me-me

Even a girl can do it See how stupid you are

There's nobody in the lift now

Hang on

Over there

Black Cat, I'm up here, I'm scared like hell

Remember that, Rose

What's rose?

Panda, what's going on with you?

What's going on with me? Can't you see?

I'm hanging on in mid-air

Are you okay?

I'm okay. I'm sorry

You won't get the peanuts

That's airtight, Panda, You just remember,

no matter what, we're always an ace partnership

Panda!

I've caught White Glove

He's not White Glove

White Glove is a foreign woman

I'm sure he is the thief...

who stole the diamonds

He doesn't look like a good thief

No

I've an idea. Let me test him

How?

I learned some scientific examination

at Scotland Yard

But you have to work with me

Please take a seat, sir

Leave that. Take a seat

III not answer any questions

before my lawyer arrives

Let's try an IQ test

Better wait until my lawyer arrives

Do you know who I am?

No I don't

I'm Kodojak, the famous No. 1 Chinese inspector

from the US to study at Scotland Yard

Surely you have heard of my name before

Oh yes, yes

Let's co-operate

Better wait until my lawyer arrives

Bastard

Give me your hand

It's not that I don't respect you, but you know... Ow ow ow

What're owing about I haven't even started yet

Now easy does it

Give it to me

Give it to me

Sir, I think we'll try the IQ test

Good

This is a test of reflexes

Produce a hand We'll take turns to hit each other

Whoever hits his opponent is the winner

Who goes first?

Me, of course Put out a hand

- Ah look over - there

My turn

Can we stop now?

Put your hand out

Make up your mind, which one?

This one

You sure it's this one?

Yes

There's my Lawyer

My turn now

Bastard. Where's my gun?

Here

This isn't mine

Yours with her

Are you through with your games?

I know another game

I've been playing it all my life I'll win

What if you lost again?

Then you go free

Come on, come on

It's very simple Hold your ear with the right hand,

put your left hand on the floor and turn five times

Then go forward to pick the card up

If you can do it you win

If not you'll have to work with me

No problem. First you show me how

Easy, like a kid sings a song

Hold the ear, touch the ground,

head down, bottoms up

Make 1 turn, slow and lazy Make 2 turns, simply daisy

Make 3 turns, slightly pacy Make 4 turns, getting dizzy

Make 5 turns, going crazy, See?

I get it, let's go

Okay, let's go

Which side do we start?

Stupid,

follow me

So slow?

I can go faster. I'm making it easy for you. See? Right?

You'll never make it at this speed?

Sure I can, See it's already my third,

fourth and fifth. Right?

I get it. Let's start

Come on

Make 1 turn, slow and lazy Make 2 turns, simply daisy

Make 3 turns, slightly pacy Make 4 turns, getting hazy

Make 5 turns, going crazy Make 6 turns...

Hard work.

Bye-bye

I'm out of form

I used to make it all the time

He's gone, What抮e you up to?

Just taking a breather

Hello

I'm White Glove, I want to kill you

You'll have to wait

Why?

Because there's someone at the door, jerk

Spare me, chief

Stay right here, kid, I'll get my gang after you

Your gang?

That's him. Get him

Ma'am, he's locked himself in

Good. Proceed to step no. 2

Yes ma'am

Police? Someone is trying to break in

You got the wrong number, I am White Glove

I have a present for you, go take a look at the door

What is it?

Exactly the same tactics

as in the diamond job

Your turn, Benny Chan

Don't be scared, I'm right here

I can't get it out

Turn it the other way round

Oh no, look behind you

If it weren't for me you'd be dead

Thank you for saving my life

How do you propose to pay me back?

Wait till my lawyer arrives

Get me up first

I'm now working on the diamond case

I didn't do it

Then I must have got the wrong person

I confess, I confess,

I did it, I did it...

Now where're the diamonds?

I don't know where they are

Don't scare me, my hands might fail

Don't let them! I'll tell you

So where're the diamonds

Panda has them hidden somewhere

And where is Panda now?

He's dead

You're scaring me again

Okay, okay

I promise I'll help you recover the diamonds

And after that

you'll help me get White Glove

Alright, but you'll have to promise me one thing

What is it?

That you won't press charges against me

You have my word

How can I be sure of it?

I swear

Is the bomb ready?

Yes, it's ready

Bring it up

The bugging device?

It's being installed

Who did you send?

Blabbermouth

You can hear him breathe!

Don't worry. Not this time

I can't stay in this place

for more than a minute

It's so dead, How can I live here?

Why don't you eat your supper?

Eat! Look at these steaks

They're absolutely tasteless, awful, disgusting

You punk

And then there's you, Baldy

Rude, repulsive And I have to share a room with him?

And also, the foul air in here

is absolutely, suffocating

See, not a sound to the end

What about the bomb?

It's already up there

Even the doorbell sounds bad

What is it?

Delivering shoes

Must be my sister's Just leave it

Leave it!

Yes

I can't stand it any longer,

I'm going home

I'll be at my place if you want me

Hello

Hello

I live here

Me too

So you're home, sis, Don't look at him

He's got red eye disease, Come on in

Sis, who're these two people?

Let me introduce them to you

This guy here you don't need to know

And this one here isn't worth the bother, Sit down

Sit down

Hey! Didn't you say you're leaving?

Yeah, beat it, scram

It doesn't matter Why don't you stay a little longer?

Sister, Japan was a lot of fun

Have you been there before?

Yes

On business?

No, on a job

Hey!

Have you seen that?

He's obsessed with your sister

He can't even know his dad's name now

What's your father's last name?

I haven't the slightest idea

Did you steal the diamonds?

Yes I did

Where did you hide them

Panda hid them

How can we recover them?

He wrote the secret on the bodies of two women

How do I find them?

Now that I've found you

why do I have to look for them, deane

Now you heard it, Baldy

I told you this punk stole the diamonds

Are you pulling my leg?

How would I?

I'd lie to that filthy Baldy and that dirty bitch

but I'll never lie to you

Why're you holding my hand?

So what, we're both men

Now you hear

Only that kid knows where the diamonds are

I now command you

to be responsible for his safety

before he finds the diamonds

Oh no, Ah Cheong's taken the bomb up there

What? Where's Ah Cheong?

Here!

Go up there and bring it back Be quick

There isn't enough time

Why?

There's only time for the trip up, not for the trip down

I don't care. One way or the other I won't let you blow him to pieces

Aren't you gonna leave?

Me, leave? Wow look!

The air has become fresher, Baldy's head has become balder,

the steaks have become tastier, but your sis is a little fierce...

What抮e you say?

Just a teeny weeny little bit

Even the doorbell sounds better,

and I enjoy opening the door better

Wrong address

That's a bit stupid,

these shoes are a bit heavy, and please leave a bit more quickly

It's yours

The Gigolo Joe tattoo...

is from this man, I hope he remember.

Be a buddy and think carefully,

what did Gigolo Joe tattooed on his body lately?

They're always women's names or telephone numbers

He has a whole body of them How can I remember?

Then did he bring any girl for a tattoo?

Yes, and two of them

But he's really outrageous; he wanted them done here

You surely remember what you've tattooed

How? I'd need to install a computer here

to remember everyone who comes in here

Hobo! Another clue gone

A dog's chance we have to find the diamonds

and fat chance you got to go to goal

I won't worry so much

We still have another clue but it's gonna be tough

What is it?

Gigolo Joe shouted Rose

before he died

I suspect that's the name

of a girl friend

Hello there

Did you just come out from the tattoo place?

Yes

Then you must have a picture taken at my place

Why?

Because everyone who's just got a tattoo

comes to my studio

for a picture

Do you think Gigolo Joe...?

No more “do you think”

This is it right here

Rose?

Well, actually we didn't come here for a photo

Then what抮e you doing here?

Get the hell out of here

We come to pick up some photos for a friend

Who is it?

Did anybody have a nude picture taken here recently?

Why, Lo-men did

So you're friends of Lo-men

No, we're friends of Gigolo Joe

I don't know what you're yelping about? Peasant!

You know, the guy who has

his body tattooed with telephone numbers

and mumbles

Yes I know, you mean Panda

That's him

That's pauper! He left two dollars and disappeared

The photos are vital to us

Nothing doing I don't know where I've put them

I'm very busy Go away!

Please take the trouble to...

Let me handle this Keep watch for me

and call when someone turns up

You're in for it now

What do you want? Money?

No

I've a husband

Not a problem

I'm quite old

Just the right age

I'm not even pretty

Better than nothing

What? A stocking!

This way she won't recognize me

You better put one on too, or else she'd recognize you

No

Take it easy please I'll give you the photos

Well done

Ha-ha! Both of them are here

Here I got it

One of the girls works at this taxi service center

Let me do the talking

Why?

You could handle that cause she was an old dame

This one here is a young girl, only I can handle this

I'm not so sure

I was once in a

The Most Charming Man Contest in Chinatown

And?

I won, of course

How many entrants were there?

Just me

Anyway, let me do the talking

Hey! Let's get this clear I'm here doing a case,

so naturally I do the talking

Ouch!

Wow!

What's your problem? Got hit by a ghost?

Let's go and don't waste any more time

Did you run into someone just now?

He hit my waist and knock on my head

Now let me do the talking You just keep quiet

No, I want to talk

I said III do the talking

No, I want to talk

Hush

What?

A car ran into a traffic light outside

the Kowloon Transport Department and the traffic is now jammed up

Yes. Taxi service center, Got it

993, your wife wants to know if you'll be home for dinner

Tell her no

How about having dinner with me, Mary?

Sure, but I'm busy tonight

Miss Mary? Hi

Who are you?

I'm Joe's lawyer,

and this is his father

Hello, daughter

That guy's so ubiquitous

How do I know where the hell he's now?

Even you are cursing him

He really is dead

but we don't know where he died

Really?

Yes, and it was a violent death

And he was calling your name

before he died Poor guy

He was calling my name?

Yes

A lady has lost her beloved Pekingese puppy,

whoever finds it please call in

Councilor Chan, this girl has such a good heart

May God bless... the Pekingese

He's left you an inheritance

An inheritance? How much?

Almost five hundred thousand dollars

American dollars!

Oh really?

They found the Pekingese

Thank you Lord. Thank you Joe

Father, what does this Joe have to do with the Lord?

Make yourselves comfortable

Thank you

Before we can get on with the procedures,

we must have proof of your identity

Sure. I have my identity card here

No! He wants to look at...

the distinguishing marks on your body

That bastard! He even told you these things?

I was drunk that night

Ah ha, so you like drinking

Yes. Okay

A car has caught fire outside the Mongol Fire Department

And a hearse has run over someone

outside the Hong Kong Funeral Home

What a lot of fuss!

You two are really preposterous

You want to look at my ass!

Wow! Just one look and it's$500,000

For$500,000 you can look at mine

Wouldn't you guys as well?

What if I won't let you?

Then the inheritance will atomically

go to his father

You got any proof that he's Joe's father?

I love papa

Where抮e we going anyway?

Here. You can take the photo yourself,

and there won't be any embarrassment

No, it's too embarrassing

But for$500,000...

I don't have any change on me

I do. Please

Don't peep

Airtight. Remember,

not the front, but the mark

It's his daughter getting a photo for her school

She's entering the Miss Hong Kong Beauty Pageant

Oh my brother

Sir, here're your pictures

and suitcase. Bye

Stay right here

Who are you please?

Howdy Max

Who is he?

He's Mad Max who killed Joe

I don't know this guy, You two go on

And who're you?

That was an accident

I wasn't even ready!

Hey kid, it looks tough

It's airtight. We're brothers

Even when you're dead there's still me

Who doesn't know this is my territory?

You got guts to lure my sister for nude pictures

Whose idea was it?

We don't stand a chance if you or I take it on himself;

we might get away with a heavy beating if we both admit it

What do you say?

Deal

Come on, Whose idea was it?

It was our idea

Who thought of this trick?

We both did

Who told my sister to do it?

We both did

You got guts

We both do

Very smart!

We both are

What do we do now?

It'll be alright Confess to some of it

So whose idea was it?

Ah! Mine, at this moment

Aw! It really hurts!

Did you have a part in it?

Confess to some of it, quick!

He said to confess some of it

Help! This is painful

Don't be afraid, just hang on

III come down when I catch my breath

My turn now

My nose's smaller than yours

I have to take a few more breaths

Hurry, hurry

Here I come

It feels so good I really don't want to get back up there

Hey, it's my turn now It really hurts

Say pretty please

Pretty please

Here I come

I'm tricked, Let me down

What's your hurry?

Catch a few breaths up there

You asshole!

Let me down, this is killing me

Let me down! I'm dying. I'm dead

Ha-ha, you're not dead

Never will I die before you

If I hadn't said that, you wouldn't have let me down

Okay, it's my turn now

No wait, I want a full share of air

You cheat!

You're nuts. Who's cheating? I'm catching my breath

You dirty Baldy! You told me to confess,

it was all your idea

So it was your idea

Right, that's right Jab one for me

You punk. You sell me out! You try to kill me with his knife!

Fatso! It was really his idea!

What? Did you hear him?

He called you Fatso, Right? Big brother Max

I said Fatso to his face

It's better than you calling him Max the Pimp behind his back

What?

You punk. You wanna catch a breath Now you're really in for it

Don't you worry

I know it well here Trains don't run through here

They don't?

No train? Ha!

This can run you to pieces Get a move on

It's really nothing, We needn't be hospitalized

And you have to ask for this room on this floor

Just shut up. And stop obstructing the world's movement

Just ring if you need anything

Sur-r-r-r-e!

Hi

Are you two ignoring my existence?

I think III go and get on with my work

Wow! Ha-ha!

I think I've caught her fancy

But you still got nothing going with Chai-pau

What do you mean? I just don't want her

Ain't no use even if you do, She's such a shrew

Where the hell are those two bastards?

Here comes the shrew!

Don't go away I need your help

You two bastards!

Going off on your own to work on the case without me!

I'm going in to give them a scolding

What? How can you say Ho Tung-See's a shrew?

She's my dreamboat, She's a little tough

but a real woman from top to toe

How come you don't see her gentle side

I'm telling you, I'm crazy about her

She's a holy woman

Did you ever see her lose her poise?

She never gave me a harsh word

Standing up, she's a real lady

Sitting down, she's a precious little girl

And she sits so demurely

And so gentle

If you don't believe me, ask her when she comes in

Albert

When did you come in?

Only just now I wanted to tell you...

Go on!

Tomorrow's my birthday

Ha ha ha ha! I got you! I win

What抮e you doing in here again?

I'm just getting my jacket

What is it?

Hi, sis

What is it with my sister?

I never saw her like this before

She's okay

You just better book her a place at the nuthouse

Hello, it's for Chai-pau

Phone call for your sister!

Oh, Ding-dong

Even from outside I heard that I have a... phone call.

Hello

Chai-pau, is that you? It's Squealie

Squealie, you son of a bitch

I told you to check out Mad Max

where the hell were you all this time?

She'll never change

Still have to give her a rougher time

What?

He wants to kill Baldy? You tell him

if he so much as touches Baldy, III get him

And if I find out that you're pulling my head,

III beat the shit out of you!

Mad Max says he wants to kill you

I know. Now go outside

I come to fix the toilet

Done

It's clogged again

Boss. It's done

The remote control

I push this button and you'll be gone

May the Lord be with you

Hey punk! What's this hanky-panky?

Aren't you doing the same thing on me?

Today's Chai-pau's birthday,

go spend some time with her

What about you?

I thought you two want to be alone

The truth please

I've a date with Ding-dong

Wow! What is it?

It's so dark in here Has the electricity been cut?

Albert, don't you notice anything different about me today?

From your out-fit, I can see that

your superiors have assigned you to work as an undercover agent in Temple Street

Get your leg off the couch, you're making it all dirty

Today's my birthday

So what else is new?

Let's open the champagne first

Who did this steak?

I did it myself

Is it your first time?

Yes

Terrible!

Today's your birthday?

Yes

How old are you?

Thirty

Like a flower, congratulations!

Oh no. A man thirty is like a flower,

a woman thirty is like dregs of tea leaves

Why're you still single at thirty?

Nobody wants me

That's true

Did you hear a sound?

What other sounds are there other than those you make?

No! Hush!

Tick-tock, tick-tock It's a bomb!

Get down! Cover your ears!

How come I still hear

this tick-tock, tick-tock?

Oh, it's my old watch

You're doing this on purpose Are you trying to make me lose my temper?

It loses itself

If you don't want to come back don't

Nobody asked you to

I came back because it's your birthday

Do you think I wanted to come back?

Where're you off to?

To have a bowl of won-ton noodles

Give me a simple yes or no

No!

Nasty! I'll go if you ask one more time

Come on then

“Sweet Ding Dong, Sweeter than honey”

“And ever so funny”

“I'm King Kong”

“A bit like James Bond”

What a pair we make

“You get the water, I make the coffee

“I do the washing, you do the ironing

“I make the money, for you to spend

“What a pair we make”

“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”

“Let's sit down and talk it over”

“If you need help, I'll be right here”

“At your beck and call”

“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”

“United we're strong”

“I'll look after you”

“Have no fears, rest assured”

“What a pair we make”

Chai-pau! Chai-pau!

“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”

“Let's sit down and talk it over”

“If you need help, I'll be right here”

“At your beck and call”

“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”

“United we're strong”

“I'll look after you”

“Don't worry”

“What a pair we make”

“That's what we are”

“Always a pair of aces”

Why so shy?

What's done is done Come make some coffee

I've found out

The other girl is a ballerina

She's leaving for Japan tomorrow

after the final performance at the Academy Community Hall this evening

Then we'll have to move tonight

Wherever I am, I'm always the boss. Okay?

Yes

We move night

Hey!

You two get a move on and get the stuff over there!

Hey! What抮e you two doing here?

- We're... - fans!

Yes, I know. Can't you read: Backstage, no admittance!

Hey you two! What抮e you doing here?

You're on next

What's this swan doing here?

She's an understudy(a stand-by)

Yes I know. A stand-by, to stand by the backstage

Get moving, you're on

You twore in the wrong costume

Ah! You again!

Impostors! Impostors!

Get them! Quick! Get them! Ah!

Wow! What's going on?

Quick! Over there!

We're on next! We're on next! Hurry!

Hey director, you can't throw in stuff

just like that even you've won the Golden Horse Award

What do you mean? He just barged in

Stay right here!

Carry him backstage, quick

Carry him backstage!

What抮e you going? Let me go! Let me go!

Hey! Let me go! That's the one!

Hey Baldy! Here I come!

Get her!

Ma!

Not that one! Let me go!

Sorry

This one?

Right! That's the one

Oh no, what's going on?

Great! Great!

The audience like it!

I'm going to get another award

Great! Excellent!

Go back on!

Go on!

Go, go, go

Nancy, come back Nancy! Nancy!

Curtain call! Quick!

Bring the curtain down! Bring the curtain down!

That's the light bridge

Get it back up!

Sorry, sorry

What抮e you doing?

If you got to change, then get on with it! Over there!

What抮e you looking at!

Cheers!

According to my analysis,

these two hearts are the clues that Joe left when he died

Take away the hearts

and what's left is this bunch of words

Knowing Joe's life-long affection for perversion,

we'll read them accordingly

The first line reads MAP

Amap

Good boy

Hmm, Joe kept saying Kowloon

when he died

So now we'll look at a map of Kowloon

The second line reads P6. p6

The sea

Right!

And what does the final clue B3 stands for?

What?

You won't guess it

I found it! That's B3 right here

Good boy!

So your partner Joe has brains, eh?

A bit like you

So the diamonds must be under the buoy

Naturally

No! I can't swim

Neither can I

Then I'll give you lessons

See, you're doing fine

You international crook!

I've got it!

Stop! After them!

Don't bother. Those are fake ones The real ones are here

Ah! Clever boy!

Damn Baldy!

You come just in time. Here are the diamonds

I'm clean

Sure thing

What are you doing here?

I brought you your car

Don't get in the way

White glove won't turn up

if he smells you cops

Call me if anything happens

I've got the whole force ready

Okay, okay. Now scram

And run a hot bath for me

Yes

Albert, put on some clothes or you'll catch a cold

Don't kid me, you just want to keep watch over me. See what you can do!

Are you ready?

Yes, yes

Didn't you say you've set a dragnet?

Can you tell me about it now?

You can't give away God's design

Anyway it's either you or him this time

What about you?

I'll watch

That's White Glove, the bastard. Hurry, hurry!

I think it's him and not you who'll have it this time

It's not fair to him, us two against him one

Give you a chance to show off yourself, Baldy

What about you?

I'm saving myself for the grand occasion

Hmm

Here's a grand occasion for you

Good. This time we'll round them up at one swoop

Now get the army

What army?

Get out the paging machine and call Chai-pau

I threw that damn thing away

What?

What! You said you've set a dragnet

Yes, but it am not here

What!

Oh no! No! You're just useless

- Let me take the wheel - Cut it out!

Hey hey! Watch out watch out!

Stay put! Let me do it!

Stop the car! Stop stop! Put in reverse! Reverse!

Ah surrender. He surrenders, he surrenders!

You're as bad as your car,

all looks and nothing else

Keep quiet and eat the pineapple

Hey there

Good boy!

You're doing okay, kiddo

I see a lot of stars

Are you okay?

I'm okay

Let's get over there, quick

What's this?

Digging for cover

Good idea

What's this?

The dragnet

Ha, this is fun

Careful now

Let me have a go

Go away

There's still one of them

Let me do it!

Get off!

Ha-ha, you're quite smart

Of course

Are you airtight?

I'm fine

But I'm not

Are you okay?

Help! I can't swim

What's going on?

Move on, move on

Let's break this up

How is he now?

Break it up Nothing to see

Come down here

Let him come along

Doc, he's come on too

Let him. This guy's weird and the other's crazy

A fine pair! Let's go

Thank you

Ha ha ha ha

Big man like you crying like a woman, ha ha ha!

Hey don't get rough

“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”

“Let's sit down and talk it over”

“If you need help, I'll be right here”

“At your beck and call”

“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”

“United we're strong”

“I'll look after you”

“Have no fears, rest assured”

“What a pair we make”

“Any trouble you have, you can share them with me”

“Let's sit down and talk it over”

“If you need help, I'll be right here”

“At your beck and call”

“With you by my side, I'll never be afraid”

“United we're strong”

“I'll look after you”

“Don't worry”

“What a pair we make”

“That's what we are”

“Always a pair of aces”