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Movie provided by Loquito.
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♪ MTV. ♪
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Spanish subtitles added by Loquito.
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Are you still here?
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00:00:19,325 --> 00:00:20,724
You need to get going.
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00:00:20,825 --> 00:00:23,925
I can't get going.
I told you I don't feel well.
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What's the matter now?
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00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,092
Oh, nothing, I just had
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00:00:27,192 --> 00:00:28,724
explosive fucking diarrhea
all night
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00:00:28,825 --> 00:00:31,292
because you decided
to get us KFC for dinner.
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You have KFC all the time.
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00:00:33,592 --> 00:00:35,925
Yeah, and I have
diarrhea all the time!
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00:00:36,025 --> 00:00:39,492
You're not staying home all day
and playing Baldur's Gate 3.
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00:00:39,592 --> 00:00:43,025
- Now let's go.
- Ugh!
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00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:45,558
Have a good day at school, sweetie.
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Fuck you, Mom!
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00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,225
This is bullshit.
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00:00:51,325 --> 00:00:53,458
How do you get your mom arrested
for child abuse?
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She wouldn't let you stay home
and play Baldur's Gate 3,
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00:00:55,892 --> 00:00:57,125
huh, fat ass?
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00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,358
Who you callin' fat,
you heathen bitch?
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Dude, you don't wanna
miss school today.
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00:01:01,592 --> 00:01:04,691
Clyde said he's gonna fart
on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
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00:01:04,792 --> 00:01:06,958
Tammy Mullins has
sweet fucking knockers.
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00:01:07,058 --> 00:01:09,625
Dude, Kenny,
enough about Tammy's knockers!
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You sound like
a white male trying to
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re-establish the patriarchy.
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Eric, it's okay.
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- It's okay.
- Mom! Mom!
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I had a dream that...
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I was replaced
by a diverse woman!
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Oh, not again.
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Yeah, only this time,
it wasn't just me.
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They were taking all my favorite
people and replacing them
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with diverse women complaining
about the patriarchy.
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Will you check
under the bed and make sure
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there's no Disney executives
under there?
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- I promise there's not.
- I'm scared, Mom!
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Will you please just look
and make sure Kathleen Kennedy
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isn't under my bed?
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Kathleen Kennedy
is not under your bed.
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Can you check the closet?
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Eric, enough.
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I've told you there's no such
thing as Disney executives
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who replace everyone you love
with diverse women
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who complain
about the patriarchy.
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Now be a big boy.
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It's-it's not real.
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It's... it's not real.
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- Get up!
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Come on, Stan, get up.
Let's go.
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- What, Dad?
- Downstairs.
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Let's go.
I'm sick of this shit.
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Okay.
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00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:30,525
It has come to my attention
lately that
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young people today
don't know how to do shit.
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You got your phones and your AI
and you kids haven't
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learned to be able
to actually do anything.
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So we're going
to take this morning to
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00:02:41,591 --> 00:02:44,792
learn how to fix something.
You see this?
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See this?
The oven door isn't working.
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It's falling off the hinges.
So what do we do?
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00:02:50,691 --> 00:02:51,858
Shelley?
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I don't know.
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It's very simple.
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You gotta
make the hinges tighter
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so the oven door's more secure.
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So what you do is...
you take out your phone
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and you call the handyman.
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Hello?
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00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,792
Hello. It's Randy Marsh.
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My oven door is not working.
Please come fix it.
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Now we rest
until the handyman comes.
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Are you following this
at all, guys?
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- Is this seeping in?
- Nope.
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No, it looks like
the screws are totally stripped.
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What does that mean?
What's wrong?
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Can't get 'er fixed right now,
I gotta get
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some different washers
at the Home Depot.
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Okay, do that.
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Can't do it right now,
I gotta get
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over to Stephen Stotch's house
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and install his closet shelves.
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Okay, see, kids,
this happens sometimes
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but handymen don't make a lot
of money, so here's what you do.
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Oh, okay, I will pay you
an extra 30 bucks
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if you fix my oven now.
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00:03:52,892 --> 00:03:56,258
Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already
gave me an extra 50 bucks.
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I will pay you
an extra 55 bucks.
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Randy, did you fix
the oven door yet?
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I'm working on it!
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Look, please.
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Whatever you want.
I'll throw in a six-pack
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00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,624
of beer and you can get drunk.
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00:04:07,792 --> 00:04:09,691
I don't need your trivial
little perks anymore, Marsh.
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I got work comin'
out my ears. It's like...
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I don't know,
it's like nobody knows
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how to do shit anymore.
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You're--
You're just gonna leave?
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I'll pay a different handyman.
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Yeah, go for it, buddy,
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I got so much money
I don't care.
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What the hell is going on?
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00:04:29,657 --> 00:04:33,225
All right, just try to relax.
Take a deep breath.
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00:04:33,325 --> 00:04:37,624
Now tell me exactly
what it is you're afraid of.
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I keep having the same dream.
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Everywhere I look,
people are being replaced.
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Okay. And who do you think
is going to have you replaced?
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Them. The puppet masters.
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00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:51,325
The last time I had the dream,
I was, I was walking
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00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,025
down the school hallway...
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And then I see Butters,
and he's like...
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Hey, Eric! You wanna see
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what my mom packed me for lunch?
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And that's when
I start to notice
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that something's wrong.
Everyone I cared about
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has been
systematically replaced.
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00:05:05,092 --> 00:05:06,624
And finally I want to scream
and I'm like...
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Why are they replacing
every single character
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with someone who is diverse?
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- But then Kenny's like...
- It's not
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our fault, it's 'cause of
Kathleen Kennedy.
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00:05:13,258 --> 00:05:14,457
But then Kathleen Kennedy's
just like...
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Fuck it! Make it more lame.
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And everyone in town is like,
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00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:19,691
"No, please, Kathleen Kennedy,
stop ruining everything."
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00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:20,992
But Kathleen Kennedy
is all like...
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00:05:21,092 --> 00:05:22,524
Put another gay diverse
woman in it.
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Make it more fucking lame.
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00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,457
And Disney stock just keeps
going down and down and down!
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00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:28,125
And then Bob Iger is all like...
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No! No!
What's going on with my stocks?
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00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:31,858
No, Kathleen Kennedy!
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Oh. It happened again,
didn't it?
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00:05:37,358 --> 00:05:40,491
Okay, Eric, I think I know
what's going on here.
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Your fears aren't about Disney
replacing everything you love.
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00:05:44,258 --> 00:05:48,792
What everyone is afraid of these
days is being replaced by AI.
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- AI?
- But you don't need
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to worry, Eric.
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00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:54,391
As long as you work hard
and stay in school,
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00:05:54,491 --> 00:05:56,092
you can make something
of yourself.
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00:05:56,192 --> 00:05:59,192
Become an elite worker like
I did that AI can't replace.
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00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,792
You're a therapist
and the best thing
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00:06:00,892 --> 00:06:02,092
you have to tell me is
"stay in school"?
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00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:04,825
You're in control
of your future, Eric.
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00:06:04,925 --> 00:06:06,792
You just need to ask yourself,
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00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:08,092
"Who will be the people
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00:06:08,192 --> 00:06:10,992
still making money
in the AI-driven future?"
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00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:15,524
What the-- What the fuck?
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00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:22,391
Could you hurry it up, please?
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00:06:22,491 --> 00:06:23,624
I kind of need to
get back to work.
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00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:24,925
Yep, well, looks like
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00:06:25,025 --> 00:06:26,691
you got a short
in the outlet there.
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I'd have to get a new outlet
at Home Depot.
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00:06:28,391 --> 00:06:31,258
I can probably come
change it on the 28th.
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00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,225
28th? No, no, no, look.
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00:06:33,325 --> 00:06:35,524
I'll give a hundred bucks
to get this done today.
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00:06:35,624 --> 00:06:37,825
I already got a feller
giving me thousands
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00:06:37,925 --> 00:06:39,792
to fix his toilet
this afternoon.
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00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:42,324
Thousands?
I can't afford that.
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00:06:42,424 --> 00:06:43,825
Free therapy sessions.
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00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,192
How about we trade?
You do the handiwork for me.
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00:06:46,292 --> 00:06:48,524
And I'll give you five
free therapy sessions!
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00:06:48,624 --> 00:06:50,058
Oh, no, thanks.
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00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:54,792
I do all my therapy
on the AI Freudbot app.
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This is
South Park Breaking News.
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00:07:01,092 --> 00:07:03,158
Shocking developments
in the country today,
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00:07:03,258 --> 00:07:06,225
it appears that nobody
knows how to do shit anymore.
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00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:08,925
Our own Chris Martins
is live on the scene.
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Tom, I'm standing in
my bathroom where the new
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00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:14,291
tile for my shower
has yet to be installed.
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00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:17,391
As you can see, the tile has
started to peel off in places.
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00:07:17,491 --> 00:07:20,958
Now the handyman was supposed
to come days ago to fix it
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00:07:21,058 --> 00:07:22,391
but he claims to have
better offers
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00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:23,992
from other white-collar workers
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00:07:24,092 --> 00:07:27,258
like me whose practical
know-how has atrophied.
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It appears
we've all screwed ourselves
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by relying on technology and AI.
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- Hey, Siri,
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00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,457
how do you fix
a broken oven door?
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Here's what I found
from reference.com.
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00:07:44,591 --> 00:07:47,792
Undo any screws that
hold the hinges in position,
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00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:49,892
pull the door upward
and then outwards
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to detach hinges from the oven.
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00:07:52,058 --> 00:07:53,992
Insert the new hinge
into the hinge holes
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00:07:54,092 --> 00:07:56,925
and secure the hinges
with screws.
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00:07:57,025 --> 00:08:01,257
Hey, Siri, okay,
can you do that for me?
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00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:03,058
Can I do what for you?
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00:08:03,158 --> 00:08:05,357
Can you fix my oven door for me?
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00:08:05,457 --> 00:08:07,092
It's broken.
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00:08:07,192 --> 00:08:10,892
I cannot do that
because I do not have arms.
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00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:13,025
You will need
to call a handyman.
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00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,457
The handyman isn't available.
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He's all, like, rich now
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00:08:17,224 --> 00:08:20,058
and I fucking rely on him to
keep everything working here!
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00:08:20,158 --> 00:08:22,825
I am unable to fix an oven door.
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00:08:22,925 --> 00:08:26,324
Oh, well, hey, Siri,
I thought AI was supposed to be
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00:08:26,424 --> 00:08:30,025
this amazing scary advancement
that could, like, do anything.
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00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,925
Hey, Randy,
the oven door in the kitchen
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00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:33,858
- still isn't--
- I am working on it!
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00:08:34,691 --> 00:08:37,291
Hey, Siri,
all the handymen are rich
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00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:40,792
and I can't afford them anymore
so what do I do?
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00:08:40,892 --> 00:08:43,291
Perhaps you could find
an unlicensed worker
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00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:46,224
who does small day jobs
for cash.
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00:08:46,324 --> 00:08:48,792
You mean like those
broke-ass illegal immigrants
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00:08:48,792 --> 00:08:50,691
down at Home Depot?
207
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:52,792
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said it that way.
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00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,925
Hey, Siri, you mean like those
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00:08:55,025 --> 00:08:57,591
broke-ass illegal immigrants
down at Home Depot?
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00:08:57,691 --> 00:09:00,524
Yes. There are often
people sitting out front
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00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,591
of Home Depot
waiting to be hired for work.
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00:09:03,691 --> 00:09:06,191
Yeah. Those guys!
213
00:09:11,257 --> 00:09:12,858
Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you?
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00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:14,324
Sure, guys, what's up?
215
00:09:14,424 --> 00:09:16,457
Well, Clyde says that you
told Tammy Mullins
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00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,925
he was gonna fart on her in P.E.
so she didn't show up.
217
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,958
Yeah, I might have told her.
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00:09:21,058 --> 00:09:22,624
Well, Kenny, everyone was really
looking forward to that.
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00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:23,958
Why did you ruin it?
220
00:09:24,058 --> 00:09:25,524
I told you guys
I think Tammy Mullins
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00:09:25,624 --> 00:09:28,424
- has sweet fucking knockers.
You guys!
222
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:31,591
You guys! Something super crazy
is happening, you guys.
223
00:09:31,691 --> 00:09:32,992
You went on a diet?
224
00:09:33,092 --> 00:09:34,624
This is serious, Kyle!
225
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,125
At first they were just dreams,
226
00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:38,357
but now I feel like
I'm actually changing.
227
00:09:38,457 --> 00:09:41,058
Why would I be having visions
that I'm a diverse woman?
228
00:09:41,157 --> 00:09:43,058
Because you're a fat,
racist piece of shit.
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00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:45,457
Goddamn it, I'm not fat.
I'm just shamed for my body
230
00:09:45,557 --> 00:09:47,224
in a world where white men
decide what's beautiful.
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00:09:47,324 --> 00:09:49,591
What the fuck was that?!
232
00:09:49,691 --> 00:09:52,657
Why would I say that?
I don't say that. You see?!
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00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,058
This is happening
to all of us, you guys.
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00:09:55,157 --> 00:09:56,825
You might think
everything is okay.
235
00:09:56,925 --> 00:09:59,591
But Disney... is gonna get ya.
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00:09:59,691 --> 00:10:01,357
Kathleen Kennedy's
gonna get ya.
237
00:10:01,457 --> 00:10:04,191
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy
are gonna get ya!
238
00:10:06,092 --> 00:10:08,657
I don't think that what
I'm experiencing are dreams.
239
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:10,624
I think that what
I'm seeing are windows...
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00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:12,792
into alternate universes.
241
00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:14,357
Yeah, okay, I'm out.
242
00:10:15,124 --> 00:10:16,357
It's true, Kyle, there could be
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00:10:16,457 --> 00:10:18,092
other universes
with other versions of--
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00:10:18,191 --> 00:10:19,892
Everyone's sick of
the stupid multiverse, Cartman.
245
00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:21,958
It's not stupid,
it's totally possible
246
00:10:22,058 --> 00:10:23,557
and if you can't--
247
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,157
Kyle? Kyle?
248
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:27,191
I swear, the multiverse is
just an excuse for lazy writing.
249
00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:29,257
- Whoa. Kyle!
- Yeah, it's like
every damn movie now.
250
00:10:29,357 --> 00:10:30,557
Kyle, what is this?
251
00:10:30,657 --> 00:10:32,657
Uh, you might
wanna listen to him, Kyle!
252
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,424
Kyle, you gotta help me!
253
00:10:34,524 --> 00:10:35,491
Help me, Kyle!
254
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:53,858
Hey!
255
00:10:53,958 --> 00:10:55,257
Hey, I need a worker!
256
00:10:55,357 --> 00:10:57,324
- Is that a handyman?
- There's one!
257
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,825
- Hey, you wanna trade?
258
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,191
What the fuck?
259
00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:02,157
Randy! You know how
to do stuff, right?
260
00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:03,424
I gotta get the radiant heat
261
00:11:03,524 --> 00:11:04,925
installed in my house
and I'm offering
262
00:11:05,025 --> 00:11:06,792
free legal advice in exchange.
263
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,357
You need a reporter?
264
00:11:08,457 --> 00:11:10,792
I'll report the news to you
if you fix my shower tile!
265
00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:13,157
How about a computer programmer?
I can do coding!
266
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,892
Insurance broker?
Insurance broker?
267
00:11:14,992 --> 00:11:16,524
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
268
00:11:16,624 --> 00:11:18,858
We're trying to get
a handyman to do stuff for us.
269
00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:20,992
You know how to
install radiant heat or not?
270
00:11:21,091 --> 00:11:24,624
No, I need some broke-ass
immigrants to fix my oven door.
271
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,091
- Dang it.
272
00:11:26,191 --> 00:11:28,391
Hey! Here comes
a different handyman!
273
00:11:29,657 --> 00:11:33,524
Hey, anyone wanna
make a bunch of money?
274
00:11:33,624 --> 00:11:36,591
I need four workers who know
how to use a power saw.
275
00:11:37,524 --> 00:11:40,224
I'll do lawyer work if
you install my radiant heat!
276
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,057
I've got skills
in human resources.
277
00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:43,457
Let's work something out!
278
00:11:43,557 --> 00:11:47,024
No, I need guys that know
how to work a power saw.
279
00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:52,391
None of you know how to
work a power saw? Jesus Christ.
280
00:11:55,124 --> 00:11:57,391
What universe is this?
281
00:12:07,424 --> 00:12:10,091
Yo, Kenny, we gotta
ask you something.
282
00:12:10,191 --> 00:12:12,958
Are you, like,
in love with Tammy Mullins?
283
00:12:13,057 --> 00:12:15,557
I'm not in love with her,
I just like her knockers.
284
00:12:15,657 --> 00:12:18,024
Okay, well, why would you
protect someone from getting
285
00:12:18,124 --> 00:12:20,792
farted on unless there
were some real feelings there?
286
00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:22,925
Dude, I said I was sorry, okay?
287
00:12:23,024 --> 00:12:24,457
You guys! You guys!
288
00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:27,491
Something really weird
is going on!
289
00:12:27,591 --> 00:12:30,357
I keep having the same dream
that I'm a fat little white boy.
290
00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:33,091
You ain't white,
but you definitely fat.
291
00:12:33,191 --> 00:12:34,657
This is serious, Kyle!
292
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:37,892
It's more than a dream,
it's becoming like real now!
293
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,391
I keep seeing all of you!
294
00:12:39,491 --> 00:12:41,457
Being replaced by
little white motherfuckers!
295
00:12:41,557 --> 00:12:44,124
Well, maybe you should try
not being so racist, Cartman.
296
00:12:44,224 --> 00:12:46,357
You can't be racist
towards white people, Stan!
297
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:49,591
They all honky-ass bitches!
You know what this is?
298
00:12:49,691 --> 00:12:52,591
I think this is some
alternate universe shit.
299
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,457
Yeah, right, you just
acting crazy 'cause you wanna
300
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:58,324
- get sent home from school.
- No, I'm not, Kyle!
301
00:12:58,424 --> 00:13:00,124
Yeah, bitch, you just
wanna get sent home
302
00:13:00,224 --> 00:13:02,324
so you can play Baldur's Gate 3.
303
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,524
What the fuck?
304
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:14,424
Oh, my God, it's all real!
305
00:13:14,524 --> 00:13:17,491
Whatever you're doing,
Cartman, we ain't buyin' it.
306
00:13:17,591 --> 00:13:20,324
Stay away from me! You aren't
my friends! Do you understand?
307
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,792
Is that supposed to be Cartman?
308
00:13:22,892 --> 00:13:24,491
It ain't Cartman
but it's still fat.
309
00:13:24,591 --> 00:13:26,357
Just more like
little round and fat.
310
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,391
Yeah, like Tammy Mullins'
knockers.
311
00:13:28,491 --> 00:13:29,691
Kenny! Brah.
312
00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:31,858
Chill with the knockers. Man!
313
00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:34,191
No...
314
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,557
No...!
315
00:13:40,324 --> 00:13:42,357
Okay, so Clyde says he
can probably try to fart
316
00:13:42,457 --> 00:13:44,124
on Tammy Mullins again
during fourth period.
317
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,057
But this time Kenny
has to keep his mouth shut.
318
00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:48,257
It's fine!
I won't say anything, fine!
319
00:13:48,357 --> 00:13:50,424
He's gonna say something,
he's totally in love with her.
320
00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:53,491
- No, I'm not!
- You guys! You guys!
321
00:13:53,591 --> 00:13:55,792
Holy shit, you guys,
I fuckin' told you!
322
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:58,457
I fuckin' told you this
was happening, didn't I?
323
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:00,557
Told us what was happening?
324
00:14:00,657 --> 00:14:02,257
I told you I was having
all these dreams
325
00:14:02,357 --> 00:14:03,792
that I was a fat
little white boy
326
00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:05,792
and you guys were all
white boys too and now look!
327
00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:07,491
Y'all actually turned into 'em!
328
00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:10,591
- Do we know you?
- I'm Cartman.
329
00:14:10,691 --> 00:14:13,491
And you're Kyle and you're Stan
and you're fucking Kenny.
330
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,324
Only it's a parallel,
alternated universe
331
00:14:15,424 --> 00:14:16,792
and y'all have been replaced.
332
00:14:16,792 --> 00:14:18,891
Uh, okay, cool lady.
333
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,657
We gotta get to class.
334
00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:22,291
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
335
00:14:22,391 --> 00:14:24,024
You guys are gonna
listen to me this time!
336
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,991
I need help!
337
00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:27,924
Cartman's just messing with us.
338
00:14:28,024 --> 00:14:29,157
Fuck you, Kyle!
339
00:14:29,257 --> 00:14:30,691
This is serious,
you fuckin' butt-fucker!
340
00:14:30,792 --> 00:14:33,557
Yeah, listen, lady,
we really gotta get going.
341
00:14:33,657 --> 00:14:36,792
Will you guys fucking
listen to me?! I'm Cartman!
342
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,792
You're not Cartman and
multiple universes are stupid.
343
00:14:39,891 --> 00:14:42,291
Oh, goddamn it!
344
00:14:44,224 --> 00:14:46,524
Tom, I'm still here
live at the scene.
345
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,224
Dozens of white-collar workers
are gathered hoping
346
00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:52,024
to get the attention of
just one handyman.
347
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,591
It's a scene
of desperation and a reminder
348
00:14:54,691 --> 00:14:57,524
of where our
country's economy is headed.
349
00:15:00,124 --> 00:15:03,524
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
350
00:15:04,857 --> 00:15:07,357
Hey, hey! Excuse me,
you're a handyman, right?
351
00:15:07,457 --> 00:15:09,891
Can I get you to come look
at my oven door?
352
00:15:09,991 --> 00:15:11,524
I can trade you services.
353
00:15:11,624 --> 00:15:14,924
I have geology skills.
Could you come fix my door
354
00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:16,657
and I'll give you some geology?
355
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:19,792
Hey, why don't you guys
get outta here?
356
00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:23,057
You're making the Home Depot
look all shitty.
357
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,924
Fuckin' rich assholes.
358
00:15:27,024 --> 00:15:28,624
- Ugh, sucks.
359
00:15:28,791 --> 00:15:29,791
Aw, man.
360
00:15:29,891 --> 00:15:32,224
Boy, I wish
I knew how to fix stuff.
361
00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:33,424
I'd be rich, too.
362
00:15:33,524 --> 00:15:35,691
I could know how to fix stuff!
363
00:15:35,791 --> 00:15:37,691
The problem is
when I could have been learning
364
00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:40,957
how to fix stuff, I went
to fucking college instead!
365
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:42,391
Hey, yeah, he's right.
366
00:15:42,491 --> 00:15:45,091
We all went to college,
and where did it get us?
367
00:15:45,191 --> 00:15:47,491
Yeah, I'm still paying off
my college loans.
368
00:15:47,591 --> 00:15:50,491
Yeah, so am I! Now I don't
know how to do anything
369
00:15:50,591 --> 00:15:53,257
'cause I got suckered into going
to college and learning stupid
370
00:15:53,357 --> 00:15:56,391
geology that anyone can know
'cause of goddamn AI!
371
00:15:56,491 --> 00:15:57,691
Yeah, fuck college!
372
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,357
Let's go
get our fucking money back!
373
00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:01,657
Yeah!
- Yeah! Fuck college!
374
00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:03,624
- Come on, let's go!
375
00:16:07,324 --> 00:16:09,657
- Stupid college!
- You wasted our time!
376
00:16:09,791 --> 00:16:12,891
- Fuck you, college!
- Piece of shit college!
377
00:16:12,991 --> 00:16:14,391
Hey-hey, college!
378
00:16:14,491 --> 00:16:16,824
You know what you are?!
You're a scam!
379
00:16:16,924 --> 00:16:18,091
College is a scam!
380
00:16:18,191 --> 00:16:20,091
Yeah!
381
00:16:20,191 --> 00:16:21,357
Yeah, that's right!
382
00:16:21,457 --> 00:16:22,491
Yeah, hey, college!
383
00:16:22,591 --> 00:16:24,124
Here's my student loan bill.
384
00:16:24,224 --> 00:16:26,057
That I'm still paying off!
385
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:28,524
Well, guess what,
I'm not paying it!
386
00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:31,391
- Yeah!
- We don't owe you nothing!
387
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,257
Guess what, college?!
388
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:36,791
We don't owe you money,
you owe us money!
389
00:16:36,791 --> 00:16:38,024
Yeah!
390
00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:41,091
Yeah, that's right!
391
00:16:41,924 --> 00:16:43,957
You think you can
just sit there and not even
392
00:16:44,057 --> 00:16:46,624
respond to us, college?
Okay!
393
00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:49,357
You aren't going to destroy
any more lives!
394
00:16:49,457 --> 00:16:51,091
All right, bring in
the catapult.
395
00:16:51,191 --> 00:16:52,791
Bring in the catapult!
396
00:16:52,791 --> 00:16:53,791
Yeah!
397
00:16:53,891 --> 00:16:55,157
Yeah, that's right!
398
00:17:00,524 --> 00:17:03,791
- What's that?
- That's the catapult.
399
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,657
Well, but it's still in the box.
400
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:09,157
Yeah, somebody's
gotta put it together.
401
00:17:09,257 --> 00:17:11,024
Well, how are we gonna...
402
00:17:11,124 --> 00:17:12,424
Hang on, college!
403
00:17:12,524 --> 00:17:13,791
How're we gonna
break the college if
404
00:17:13,791 --> 00:17:15,357
the catapult is still
in the box?
405
00:17:15,457 --> 00:17:16,991
It's okay,
we called the handyman.
406
00:17:17,091 --> 00:17:19,191
He's gonna build it for us.
407
00:17:25,024 --> 00:17:27,891
Hello, gentlemen, what
seems to be the problem?
408
00:17:27,991 --> 00:17:29,557
Oh! Oh!
409
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,357
You said
you couldn't work today.
410
00:17:31,457 --> 00:17:33,291
You're supposed
to fix my oven door!
411
00:17:33,391 --> 00:17:35,057
I've got a lot of jobs there, buddy.
412
00:17:35,157 --> 00:17:36,457
This one paid the most today.
413
00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:38,991
We all pooled together
and offered him $20,000.
414
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,657
$20,000?
415
00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,324
What the fuck
are you guys doing?!
416
00:17:42,424 --> 00:17:44,824
You're gonna make him
totally impossible now!
417
00:17:47,224 --> 00:17:49,524
All right, send Broflovski,
Marsh and McKormick
418
00:17:49,624 --> 00:17:51,656
into my office, please.
419
00:17:52,857 --> 00:17:53,991
Aw, what the hell?
420
00:17:54,091 --> 00:17:55,524
Sit down, boys.
One of our students here
421
00:17:55,624 --> 00:17:57,091
says you've been
treating them unfairly.
422
00:17:57,191 --> 00:18:00,091
- Treating who unfairly?
- We didn't do anything!
423
00:18:00,191 --> 00:18:01,791
We're just minding
our own business
424
00:18:01,791 --> 00:18:03,491
and she keeps saying
she's Eric Cartman!
425
00:18:04,524 --> 00:18:06,624
Okay. And what's
wrong with that?
426
00:18:08,357 --> 00:18:10,791
What's wrong is it
doesn't make any sense.
427
00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:12,324
Okay, I see.
428
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,991
There's a diverse female
where Cartman used to be
429
00:18:14,091 --> 00:18:15,291
and you don't like that.
430
00:18:15,391 --> 00:18:17,391
It's not that we
don't like it, it's...
431
00:18:17,491 --> 00:18:18,690
don't you think that's weird?
432
00:18:18,791 --> 00:18:20,491
I don't see
a problem with it at all.
433
00:18:20,591 --> 00:18:22,291
And if you boys don't think
Eric can be a Black woman,
434
00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:24,457
then maybe the problem is you.
435
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:26,656
What?
436
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:27,924
You think it's perfectly normal
437
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,690
that Cartman
is suddenly a Black woman?
438
00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:31,124
You probably don't like
that Indiana Jones got replaced
439
00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:32,791
by a female either, huh?
440
00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:34,924
You probably have a problem
with Black Spider-Man, too.
441
00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:36,623
No! Miles Morales is sweet.
442
00:18:36,791 --> 00:18:37,924
That's a whole constructed thing
443
00:18:38,024 --> 00:18:39,524
with its own character
and narrative!
444
00:18:39,623 --> 00:18:42,623
This is just taking Cartman,
same old Cartman,
445
00:18:42,791 --> 00:18:44,524
and putting a Black woman in it.
446
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,656
Well, you know what I think
about that, Kyle?
447
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:47,924
Hold on. Hold on.
448
00:18:49,491 --> 00:18:51,024
That's what I think
about that, Kyle!
449
00:18:51,124 --> 00:18:52,357
Goddamn it, Cartman!
450
00:18:52,457 --> 00:18:54,057
Dude, what the fuck
is going on?!
451
00:18:54,157 --> 00:18:55,857
I'll tell you what's going on.
452
00:18:55,957 --> 00:18:57,791
You boys feel that your white
culture is being threatened
453
00:18:57,791 --> 00:18:59,524
and so you're
lashing out with racism.
454
00:18:59,623 --> 00:19:01,391
And if you
say anything more about
455
00:19:01,491 --> 00:19:03,091
a Black woman Cartman
not making any sense,
456
00:19:03,191 --> 00:19:05,091
then you can all just have
three weeks' detention!
457
00:19:05,191 --> 00:19:06,524
Now get out of my office!
458
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,291
- Goddamn it!
459
00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:10,157
Fuck you, Kyle.
You have to help me!
460
00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:12,224
How's that fart feeling
on your face right now?
461
00:19:12,324 --> 00:19:13,590
Shut up!
462
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:16,791
Na-na-na-na-na.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
463
00:19:26,091 --> 00:19:28,791
And we both told Clyde,
"Okay, you can try to fart
464
00:19:28,891 --> 00:19:30,791
on Tammy Mullins later.
Kenny won't tell her."
465
00:19:30,791 --> 00:19:33,590
And guess what? This little
motherfucker does it again!
466
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:36,024
I'm sorry.
She hypnotized me.
467
00:19:36,124 --> 00:19:37,791
Everyone's trying
to enjoy themselves, dude.
468
00:19:37,791 --> 00:19:39,791
Why do you keep fucking it up?
469
00:19:39,791 --> 00:19:41,556
Hey, who's the fat
little white boy?
470
00:19:41,656 --> 00:19:43,656
Who knows?
White heterosexual males
471
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,357
think they're welcome anywhere.
472
00:19:48,391 --> 00:19:50,957
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
473
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:54,024
Today we're going to
talk more about female exclusion
474
00:19:54,124 --> 00:19:55,590
in the male patriarchy.
475
00:19:57,491 --> 00:20:00,491
Uh, Butters,
who is that sitting next to you?
476
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:01,723
Oh, I don't know, ma'am.
477
00:20:01,824 --> 00:20:03,924
I think it's
supposed to be Eric.
478
00:20:04,024 --> 00:20:05,523
I am Eric!
479
00:20:05,623 --> 00:20:07,757
All Cartman cares about
is playing Baldur's Gate 3.
480
00:20:07,857 --> 00:20:09,957
So the bitch did a switcheroo
with Spanky here.
481
00:20:10,057 --> 00:20:11,590
That is not what's going on!
482
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,857
And I am not going to sit here
and be insulted anymore!
483
00:20:13,957 --> 00:20:15,590
I am a respected citizen
in my universe
484
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,924
and I demand to speak to
someone with authority!
485
00:20:18,024 --> 00:20:21,523
- Is there a problem here?
486
00:20:22,791 --> 00:20:25,623
No!
487
00:20:30,424 --> 00:20:31,857
Eight years.
488
00:20:31,957 --> 00:20:34,857
Eight years I spent
wasting time at stupid college
489
00:20:34,957 --> 00:20:36,924
when I could have been
learning how to do stuff.
490
00:20:37,024 --> 00:20:40,324
All the time we spent
memorizing, studying-- for what?
491
00:20:40,424 --> 00:20:43,757
Anyone gets any info they want
with the touch of a button now.
492
00:20:43,857 --> 00:20:46,357
All right,
I think she's ready to go.
493
00:20:46,457 --> 00:20:48,457
- It's ready! It's ready!
494
00:20:48,556 --> 00:20:51,391
Okay, okay, aim it
at the center of the school.
495
00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:52,891
How do we fire it?
496
00:20:52,991 --> 00:20:54,991
There's a big red button here.
Should I press it?
497
00:20:55,091 --> 00:20:56,891
Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip!
498
00:21:03,824 --> 00:21:05,690
- Yeah! Yeah!
499
00:21:05,791 --> 00:21:08,257
Yeah, take that, college!
500
00:21:08,357 --> 00:21:09,991
Let's see them ignore that!
501
00:21:10,091 --> 00:21:12,357
I can't wait
to see what they do now.
502
00:21:12,456 --> 00:21:14,456
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
503
00:21:14,556 --> 00:21:16,024
Hey-hey, wait, what's that?
504
00:21:21,556 --> 00:21:24,057
Hey! Hey, no,
you son of a bitch!
505
00:21:25,523 --> 00:21:27,991
He's just gonna fix the glass!
506
00:21:28,091 --> 00:21:29,456
Ugh!
507
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:30,791
You fucking give these
billionaires your money
508
00:21:30,891 --> 00:21:32,324
and then another billionaire
just comes
509
00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:34,091
and profits off of that.
510
00:21:34,191 --> 00:21:36,490
Society is so fucked up!
511
00:21:43,324 --> 00:21:45,623
Something is
wrong with the universe.
512
00:21:45,791 --> 00:21:47,423
Our stocks are down
and every Disney movie
513
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,091
this year has failed!
514
00:21:49,191 --> 00:21:50,791
We don't understand it, sir.
515
00:21:50,791 --> 00:21:52,991
We keep making
the same movie over and over
516
00:21:53,091 --> 00:21:56,191
and pandering to everyone
but suddenly it's not working.
517
00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,623
Then we've got to pander harder!
518
00:21:58,791 --> 00:22:00,991
Look, I don't want
to have to say it, but...
519
00:22:01,091 --> 00:22:03,991
I think the problem is
Kathleen Kennedy.
520
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:08,191
Kathleen Kennedy has
made studios a lot of money.
521
00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,791
Yes, before. But you have
to admit something's changed.
522
00:22:11,891 --> 00:22:14,357
For weeks now she's been
completely different.
523
00:22:14,456 --> 00:22:16,857
- It's true.
- What if...
524
00:22:16,957 --> 00:22:19,791
this is a different
Kathleen Kennedy?
525
00:22:21,523 --> 00:22:22,623
What are you saying, Rick?
526
00:22:22,791 --> 00:22:24,623
I'm just saying
isn't it possible
527
00:22:24,791 --> 00:22:27,291
that we here
at Disney pandered so much...
528
00:22:27,390 --> 00:22:30,791
that we've opened a doorway
to the panderverse.
529
00:22:31,590 --> 00:22:33,291
The panderverse
is just a theory!
530
00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:36,390
And yet we do have
the panderstone downstairs.
531
00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:39,824
It's possible that someone
has tampered with it somehow.
532
00:22:39,924 --> 00:22:41,791
Well, she's on her way in
right now.
533
00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:43,891
If you wanna tell
Kathleen Kennedy you think
534
00:22:43,991 --> 00:22:45,556
she's from
an alternate universe,
535
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:48,590
because we misused
the panderstone, go right ahead!
536
00:22:57,623 --> 00:22:59,523
Is there a problem, people?
537
00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:02,824
No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.
538
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,791
We were just discussing ideas
539
00:23:04,791 --> 00:23:06,623
of what to do with
the new Prince Eric movie.
540
00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:08,791
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
541
00:23:08,891 --> 00:23:13,291
Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy,
uh, some of the execs are just
542
00:23:13,390 --> 00:23:15,991
- expressing that maybe--
- Well, that maybe we should go
543
00:23:16,091 --> 00:23:18,456
a different route than we did
with Indiana Jones.
544
00:23:18,556 --> 00:23:19,824
Fuck Indiana Jones!
545
00:23:19,924 --> 00:23:22,024
Put a chick in it
and make her lame and gay!
546
00:23:23,991 --> 00:23:25,124
Sure. Yeah.
547
00:23:25,224 --> 00:23:28,024
Let's try that... again.
548
00:23:35,124 --> 00:23:37,791
And then... and then there was,
like, this ball
549
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,291
and then Eric floated up
550
00:23:39,390 --> 00:23:40,924
into this portal
and disappeared!
551
00:23:41,024 --> 00:23:42,556
I don't care
what you saw, Butters,
552
00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:43,791
there's gotta be
a better explanation
553
00:23:43,891 --> 00:23:45,690
than just the stupid multiverse.
554
00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:47,390
Some multiverse stuff is cool.
555
00:23:47,490 --> 00:23:49,057
Yeah, it can be cool for,
like, one movie.
556
00:23:49,157 --> 00:23:50,791
Now it's just this
cheap device that people use
557
00:23:50,891 --> 00:23:52,824
to breathe life
into tired franchises.
558
00:23:52,924 --> 00:23:54,991
What are you guys talking about?
559
00:23:56,323 --> 00:24:00,024
Uh, we were just talking about
how amazing this all is.
560
00:24:00,124 --> 00:24:01,656
Okay, I've been trying to think
561
00:24:01,791 --> 00:24:03,091
about what we should do,
you guys.
562
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:04,791
I think I know
how to make everything right,
563
00:24:04,891 --> 00:24:06,523
but we're gonna need
a really powerful computer.
564
00:24:06,623 --> 00:24:07,957
Are you gonna eat
your brownie, Kenny?
565
00:24:08,057 --> 00:24:09,490
Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie!
566
00:24:09,590 --> 00:24:11,590
Okay, fine, so we'll take you
to the computer lab.
567
00:24:11,690 --> 00:24:12,857
No, no, no, no, for this,
568
00:24:12,957 --> 00:24:14,390
we gotta get
a really powerful system.
569
00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:16,957
Is Kyle's mom still a big
fat bitch in this universe?
570
00:24:17,057 --> 00:24:19,057
What? My mom's not a bitch.
571
00:24:19,157 --> 00:24:21,290
Well, I mean,
she is kind of bitchy.
572
00:24:21,390 --> 00:24:22,824
She's a big dumb bitch, huh?
573
00:24:22,924 --> 00:24:24,924
What does calling my mom a bitch
have to do with anything?
574
00:24:25,024 --> 00:24:27,224
Because we could fake
a letter from Kyle's mom
575
00:24:27,323 --> 00:24:29,290
giving Kyle permission
to use her credit card number
576
00:24:29,390 --> 00:24:31,791
to buy all the stuff
we need at Best Buy.
577
00:24:31,791 --> 00:24:34,791
I mean, PC Principal
did say we have to help him.
578
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:36,891
Her. Them. It.
579
00:24:36,991 --> 00:24:38,824
That's the dumbest idea ever!
580
00:24:38,924 --> 00:24:41,124
I don't even know what
my mom's credit number is!
581
00:24:41,224 --> 00:24:42,556
8-7-1-5...
582
00:24:42,656 --> 00:24:43,824
3-2-7...
583
00:24:43,924 --> 00:24:44,623
4-9-2...
584
00:24:44,791 --> 00:24:46,124
2-1-0-0-7.
585
00:24:46,224 --> 00:24:47,656
I use it all the time.
586
00:24:57,656 --> 00:24:59,824
All right. Full name?
587
00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:02,991
What is your name, sir?
588
00:25:03,091 --> 00:25:06,024
I told them already
my name is Eric Cartman.
589
00:25:06,124 --> 00:25:08,223
We know Eric Cartman, okay?
590
00:25:08,323 --> 00:25:11,024
Eric Cartman is in here
all the time getting in trouble.
591
00:25:11,124 --> 00:25:12,891
That's because I'm
from a different universe!
592
00:25:12,991 --> 00:25:14,356
How many times do I have
to tell you people?
593
00:25:14,456 --> 00:25:15,957
The Disney company tried to
use their platform
594
00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:18,656
to bring about social change
and I got fucked.
595
00:25:18,791 --> 00:25:21,690
Hey, Chief. Chief,
you gotta hear this one.
596
00:25:21,791 --> 00:25:23,523
What is it, Johnston?
597
00:25:23,623 --> 00:25:24,957
Aw, God.
598
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:26,924
This little white boy
claims he's actually
599
00:25:27,024 --> 00:25:28,390
from a different universe.
600
00:25:28,490 --> 00:25:29,824
Is that so?
601
00:25:29,924 --> 00:25:31,190
All right, honkey,
what kind of narcotics
602
00:25:31,290 --> 00:25:33,991
are you on?
Did you do a cavity search?
603
00:25:34,091 --> 00:25:35,656
Have you even said what
you've arrested me for?
604
00:25:35,791 --> 00:25:38,091
I come from a place where this
is extremely inappropriate.
605
00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:40,623
Chief! Hey, Chief!
- Yeah?
606
00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:42,791
There's some
crazy white lady downstairs
607
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,824
freakin' out and saying
she needs to talk to you.
608
00:25:44,924 --> 00:25:46,157
More honkies?
609
00:25:46,256 --> 00:25:47,891
What is this,
a Taylor Swift concert?
610
00:25:47,991 --> 00:25:49,824
Tell the nice lady
I'll see her after I'm done
611
00:25:49,924 --> 00:25:51,656
with "Eric Cartman" here.
612
00:25:51,791 --> 00:25:53,124
Well, that's just it, Chief.
613
00:25:53,223 --> 00:25:55,523
She's sayin' she's
looking for an Eric Cartman.
614
00:25:55,623 --> 00:25:57,556
Says her name
is Kathleen Kennedy.
615
00:25:57,656 --> 00:26:00,523
Kathleen Kennedy?! No!
616
00:26:00,623 --> 00:26:02,390
She's gonna try to change me,
too! I'm the only one left!
617
00:26:02,490 --> 00:26:05,690
- Hey, get back here!
- She's gonna get me!
618
00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:10,556
- Tom, I'm standing outside
619
00:26:10,656 --> 00:26:13,891
the South Park Country Club
where protestors have gathered
620
00:26:13,991 --> 00:26:16,356
to point out
the unfairness in our economy.
621
00:26:16,456 --> 00:26:19,390
The White House says they're
doing all they can but it's been
622
00:26:19,490 --> 00:26:23,156
several days now and my bathroom
tile still is not installed.
623
00:26:23,256 --> 00:26:26,423
Yeah, that's right. You see,
the whole system is rigged.
624
00:26:26,523 --> 00:26:29,190
You've got people like us
who just need our stuff fixed,
625
00:26:29,290 --> 00:26:31,390
and meanwhile
there's these billionaires
626
00:26:31,490 --> 00:26:32,690
that have all the control!
627
00:26:32,791 --> 00:26:34,091
Did you know that if just
628
00:26:34,190 --> 00:26:35,690
one of these billionaires
spread their wealth,
629
00:26:35,791 --> 00:26:38,156
- it would mean thousands
to every per--
630
00:26:38,256 --> 00:26:39,590
it would mean thousands
to every--
631
00:26:39,690 --> 00:26:41,024
Sorry, hang on, just a second.
632
00:26:41,123 --> 00:26:42,523
Yeah?
633
00:26:42,623 --> 00:26:44,791
Hey, Ran, the oven door still
isn't shutting right.
634
00:26:44,891 --> 00:26:46,791
Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon!
635
00:26:46,791 --> 00:26:49,024
I'm actually
working on it right now!
636
00:26:49,123 --> 00:26:50,857
Hey, one of them's coming out!
637
00:26:52,356 --> 00:26:54,057
Please, just glance
at my water pressure!
638
00:26:54,156 --> 00:26:56,656
Mr. Fix It, can you please
tell us why you haven't been
639
00:26:56,791 --> 00:26:58,290
responding to people's calls?
640
00:26:58,390 --> 00:27:01,190
Well, I've just been busy
with my various assets.
641
00:27:01,290 --> 00:27:02,924
You see, I've been trying
to acquire
642
00:27:03,024 --> 00:27:06,791
some social media platforms.
I just bought Instagram.
643
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:09,090
What? The country needs
stuff fixed.
644
00:27:09,190 --> 00:27:11,924
Why the fuck are you out
buying Instagram?!
645
00:27:14,523 --> 00:27:17,857
Hey, did you just outbid me
to acquire Instagram?
646
00:27:17,957 --> 00:27:19,256
Yeah, I outbid you.
647
00:27:19,356 --> 00:27:21,957
I own Instagram now
and you don't!
648
00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:23,690
Oh, yeah?
Well, I just acquired
649
00:27:23,791 --> 00:27:25,791
the entire
Bloomberg media company!
650
00:27:25,891 --> 00:27:27,423
Oh, yeah?
Well, I can kick your ass.
651
00:27:27,523 --> 00:27:29,090
You wanna fight me MMA?
652
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,190
Yeah, I'll fight you MMA,
let's do it.
653
00:27:31,290 --> 00:27:32,991
What the hell
are they doing now?
654
00:27:33,090 --> 00:27:34,556
I'm just gonna make a company
655
00:27:34,656 --> 00:27:36,156
and I'm gonna fly to space!
656
00:27:36,256 --> 00:27:38,423
I bet I can get to space
before you do!
657
00:27:38,523 --> 00:27:41,957
Gal! Fuck these guys!
658
00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:49,056
She has all the right things
in her purse.
659
00:27:49,156 --> 00:27:51,024
Her driver's license
says Kathleen Kennedy,
660
00:27:51,123 --> 00:27:53,123
she has Kathleen Kennedy
credit cards.
661
00:27:53,223 --> 00:27:55,891
This is definitely all the same
makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses.
662
00:27:55,991 --> 00:27:59,024
I mean, according to this,
she really is Kathleen Kennedy.
663
00:27:59,123 --> 00:28:01,791
Or Kathleen Kennedy
from another universe.
664
00:28:01,791 --> 00:28:03,523
That's enough! Please!
665
00:28:03,623 --> 00:28:05,857
We're not going to
waste our time chasing
666
00:28:05,957 --> 00:28:07,623
after wild scientific theories!
667
00:28:07,791 --> 00:28:08,857
Well, we have to do something.
668
00:28:08,957 --> 00:28:10,991
Kathleen Kennedy is down
on set right now
669
00:28:11,090 --> 00:28:12,891
ruining the new Bambi movie!
670
00:28:12,991 --> 00:28:15,323
Put a diverse woman in it,
make it lame!
671
00:28:15,423 --> 00:28:18,924
But Mrs. Kennedy,
Bam-Bambi's a baby deer.
672
00:28:19,023 --> 00:28:21,991
Fuck baby deer!
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
673
00:28:22,090 --> 00:28:24,256
You guys, you better
come take a look at this.
674
00:28:24,356 --> 00:28:27,356
I don't think we are dealing
with our Kathleen Kennedy.
675
00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:29,623
I took images of Mrs. Kennedy
and put them
676
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:32,023
against images of her
from a few months ago.
677
00:28:32,123 --> 00:28:34,656
With AI we could detect
the smallest irregularities.
678
00:28:34,791 --> 00:28:36,423
Take a look.
679
00:28:44,190 --> 00:28:47,490
All right. What do we know
about the panderverse?
680
00:28:47,590 --> 00:28:48,891
I'm afraid we know...
681
00:28:48,990 --> 00:28:50,323
frighteningly little.
682
00:28:50,423 --> 00:28:53,090
The only thing we know for sure
683
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:55,156
is that if a portal
were somehow opened
684
00:28:55,256 --> 00:28:56,590
with the panderstone,
685
00:28:56,690 --> 00:28:59,356
then both universes
eventually will collide,
686
00:28:59,456 --> 00:29:03,156
leading to a level of pandering
we can't even fathom.
687
00:29:03,256 --> 00:29:05,056
That we know for sure. Yes.
688
00:29:05,156 --> 00:29:06,256
Then we have to get everyone
689
00:29:06,356 --> 00:29:08,190
back to the right universe.
690
00:29:08,290 --> 00:29:11,924
Before it's complete pandermonium.
691
00:29:23,791 --> 00:29:26,423
Okay, Kenny,
switch on the power supply.
692
00:29:26,523 --> 00:29:29,023
Stan, make sure
we've got ethernet!
693
00:29:29,123 --> 00:29:30,556
- All good.
- All right,
694
00:29:30,656 --> 00:29:31,857
let's just hope this works.
695
00:29:31,956 --> 00:29:33,956
Oh, man, what the hell?
696
00:29:34,056 --> 00:29:36,423
Dude, Kyle, what is up
with your Internet speed?
697
00:29:36,523 --> 00:29:38,656
Go tell your parents to
upgrade your Internet speed.
698
00:29:38,791 --> 00:29:39,924
No!
699
00:29:40,023 --> 00:29:41,390
Kyle, I know
you're afraid of your mom
700
00:29:41,490 --> 00:29:43,656
'cause she's a fat bitch,
but we have to do this.
701
00:29:43,791 --> 00:29:45,156
Stop calling my mom a bitch!
702
00:29:45,256 --> 00:29:47,256
- Kyle!
703
00:29:47,356 --> 00:29:49,123
I just got an alert
that someone used
704
00:29:49,223 --> 00:29:50,990
my credit card at Best Buy?!
705
00:29:51,090 --> 00:29:54,256
Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski.
706
00:29:54,356 --> 00:29:57,223
My goodness,
you're looking nice today.
707
00:29:57,323 --> 00:29:58,824
What?
708
00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:00,723
You know, credit card fraud
709
00:30:00,824 --> 00:30:02,323
is very serious,
Mrs. Broflovski.
710
00:30:02,423 --> 00:30:04,256
You should call your
Internet company right away
711
00:30:04,356 --> 00:30:06,923
and up your speed
and make sure you're protected.
712
00:30:07,023 --> 00:30:09,956
Really? Kyle, who is this?
713
00:30:10,056 --> 00:30:11,923
Oh, haven't you heard, Mom?
714
00:30:12,023 --> 00:30:13,791
We're in a multiverse
and this is
715
00:30:13,891 --> 00:30:15,323
supposed to be Eric Cartman.
716
00:30:16,123 --> 00:30:17,556
Oh, okay, I'm fine with that.
717
00:30:17,656 --> 00:30:19,891
I better go call
the Internet company.
718
00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:21,290
What do you mean
you're fine with that?
719
00:30:21,390 --> 00:30:23,956
I think all this stuff
is great, Kyle.
720
00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:26,056
And what "all stuff"
is that, exactly?
721
00:30:26,156 --> 00:30:27,923
Ha! It worked.
722
00:30:28,023 --> 00:30:29,824
She's gonna call
the Internet company.
723
00:30:29,923 --> 00:30:32,390
Your mom is such
a dumb bitch, Kyle!
724
00:30:32,490 --> 00:30:33,824
Shut up, Cartman!
725
00:30:33,923 --> 00:30:37,490
♪ Loo, loo, loo,
I got some apples ♪
726
00:30:37,590 --> 00:30:41,390
♪ Loo, loo, loo,
you got some, too ♪
727
00:30:41,490 --> 00:30:44,556
♪ Loo, loo, loo, let's
make some applesauce... ♪
728
00:30:44,656 --> 00:30:46,056
- Butters.
729
00:30:46,156 --> 00:30:47,490
Butters! Butters, listen to me.
730
00:30:47,590 --> 00:30:50,090
- It's me, Eric.
- You-You-You're not Eric!
731
00:30:50,190 --> 00:30:51,490
Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters.
732
00:30:51,590 --> 00:30:53,056
Kathleen Kennedy
is trying to get me.
733
00:30:53,156 --> 00:30:54,723
She won't stop until her
master plan is complete.
734
00:30:54,824 --> 00:30:57,824
I'm not supposed to have
anyone in my room, I'm grounded!
735
00:30:57,923 --> 00:31:00,223
Butters, Disney is going to
get me. They already got you!
736
00:31:00,323 --> 00:31:01,791
They did?!
737
00:31:01,791 --> 00:31:03,256
We are in this together, Butters.
738
00:31:03,356 --> 00:31:04,791
You have to
keep me safe until I can
739
00:31:04,791 --> 00:31:07,791
- figure out how we're gonna--
740
00:31:07,791 --> 00:31:09,856
She's here!
Butters, don't let her get me.
741
00:31:09,956 --> 00:31:12,523
Butters?!
742
00:31:12,623 --> 00:31:16,090
Butters! Why didn't you
answer this door?
743
00:31:16,190 --> 00:31:17,791
Oh. Hey, Dad.
744
00:31:17,791 --> 00:31:20,656
What are you doing up here?
And why do you look so scared?
745
00:31:20,791 --> 00:31:24,791
Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just,
uh, I'm just having fun.
746
00:31:24,791 --> 00:31:26,123
Well, no having fun.
747
00:31:26,223 --> 00:31:28,856
You are grounded.
Start being more miserable.
748
00:31:28,956 --> 00:31:31,156
- Dad?
- Yes, Butters?
749
00:31:31,256 --> 00:31:33,990
Uh, could you check
under my bed and make sure
750
00:31:34,090 --> 00:31:35,590
Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?
751
00:31:35,690 --> 00:31:38,123
Butters, what have I told you
about being more mature?
752
00:31:38,223 --> 00:31:40,256
I can assure you
Kathleen Kennedy
753
00:31:40,356 --> 00:31:42,423
is not under your bed!
754
00:31:47,791 --> 00:31:48,856
That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy!
755
00:31:48,956 --> 00:31:49,856
Right fucking there!
756
00:31:52,123 --> 00:31:53,956
You! Come here!
757
00:31:54,056 --> 00:31:55,890
No, no, no, no, no!
758
00:31:58,390 --> 00:32:01,290
No, no! No, no, no!
759
00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:15,423
Well, Shelley,
760
00:32:15,523 --> 00:32:17,556
we need to talk
about your future.
761
00:32:17,656 --> 00:32:20,790
You see, there's very few
people at the top these days.
762
00:32:20,790 --> 00:32:23,356
AI can do everything
better than we can,
763
00:32:23,456 --> 00:32:26,290
except for stuff
that requires arms.
764
00:32:27,656 --> 00:32:30,090
I don't want you to
end up a deadbeat loser
765
00:32:30,190 --> 00:32:31,790
who goes to college, Shelley.
766
00:32:31,890 --> 00:32:33,523
You need to stay out of school,
767
00:32:33,623 --> 00:32:36,423
and instead go out and be
taught real skills that will
768
00:32:36,523 --> 00:32:39,656
still be profitable
in this post-AI universe.
769
00:32:39,790 --> 00:32:43,790
So what you do is you take
out your phone and you call
770
00:32:43,790 --> 00:32:47,290
the handyman, and see if
those rich people will have
771
00:32:47,390 --> 00:32:50,490
any internships or training
programs available for you.
772
00:32:57,790 --> 00:33:00,290
Handyman service,
how can I help you?
773
00:33:00,390 --> 00:33:01,990
Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh.
774
00:33:02,090 --> 00:33:04,590
I was wondering if you
might have any internships
775
00:33:04,690 --> 00:33:05,990
available for my daughter--
776
00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:07,423
Hey! What in tarnation?!
777
00:33:07,523 --> 00:33:10,190
I told you I'd beat you,
you son' bitch!
778
00:33:10,290 --> 00:33:13,390
You ain't beatin' me!
Turn up them thrusters!
779
00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:15,123
My galactic cruiser's
bigger than yours!
780
00:33:15,223 --> 00:33:16,456
H-Hello?
781
00:33:16,556 --> 00:33:17,656
Get out my way,
you little pecker!
782
00:33:17,790 --> 00:33:19,090
Hello? Never mind.
783
00:33:19,190 --> 00:33:22,256
The rich people are all just
fucking around in space.
784
00:33:26,390 --> 00:33:27,890
What the hell was that?
785
00:33:27,990 --> 00:33:30,990
I'm getting significantly strong
readings from the panderstone.
786
00:33:31,090 --> 00:33:32,856
Mr. Iger.
We may have a solution.
787
00:33:32,956 --> 00:33:35,790
If this Kathleen Kennedy here
is from somewhere else, then
788
00:33:35,790 --> 00:33:38,790
there has to be a match for her
somewhere in our universe.
789
00:33:38,790 --> 00:33:40,356
So what we can do
790
00:33:40,456 --> 00:33:43,490
is use an AI program that
can take every image ever put
791
00:33:43,590 --> 00:33:46,623
on the Internet to try
and find a match to our image.
792
00:33:47,423 --> 00:33:49,290
Different, different, different,
793
00:33:49,390 --> 00:33:51,223
different, different,
different, different,
794
00:33:51,323 --> 00:33:53,823
different,
different, different...
795
00:33:53,923 --> 00:33:55,490
Same.
796
00:33:55,590 --> 00:33:57,790
Eric Cartman.
797
00:33:57,790 --> 00:33:59,223
South Park Elementary.
798
00:33:59,323 --> 00:34:01,223
Evans, Mallory, come with me.
799
00:34:01,323 --> 00:34:03,556
The rest of you,
don't let Kathleen Kennedy
800
00:34:03,656 --> 00:34:04,923
find out what we're up to.
801
00:34:05,023 --> 00:34:07,523
It's okay, we're keeping
Mrs. Kennedy distracted.
802
00:34:07,623 --> 00:34:10,290
We've sent her away
to have lunch at Spago.
803
00:34:14,523 --> 00:34:16,023
There you are, Mrs. Kennedy,
804
00:34:16,123 --> 00:34:17,790
the linguini and clam sauce.
805
00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:19,223
Uh, excuse me?
806
00:34:19,323 --> 00:34:20,956
I believe I asked you
to put a chick in this
807
00:34:21,056 --> 00:34:22,790
- and make her gay?
- Uh...
808
00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:25,290
Yes, the chef was a little
confused what you meant by that.
809
00:34:25,390 --> 00:34:28,190
It means put a chick
in the linguini
810
00:34:28,290 --> 00:34:30,689
and make her fucking gay!
811
00:34:31,523 --> 00:34:33,790
And I want it lame!
812
00:34:40,790 --> 00:34:43,990
She's gonna get me!
She's gonna get me!
813
00:34:50,323 --> 00:34:52,290
No, no, no, no, no!
814
00:34:55,556 --> 00:34:57,323
Hey, who's that, Ned?
815
00:34:57,423 --> 00:34:58,990
I'm not sure.
816
00:34:59,090 --> 00:35:00,790
No!
817
00:35:03,622 --> 00:35:05,622
There he is!
Get him!
818
00:35:13,156 --> 00:35:16,390
No. Oh, my God, please, no!
819
00:35:18,190 --> 00:35:20,156
No...!
820
00:35:20,256 --> 00:35:21,655
Which way did they go?
821
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:26,123
We have to work together.
822
00:35:26,223 --> 00:35:28,790
Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy!
Stay away, you fuckin' bitch!
823
00:35:28,790 --> 00:35:32,290
I'm in the same situation
you are, Eric!
824
00:35:34,190 --> 00:35:37,123
I know you're in
the wrong universe.
825
00:35:37,223 --> 00:35:39,456
So am I.
826
00:35:46,390 --> 00:35:49,890
Well, there's no
other way to put it.
827
00:35:49,990 --> 00:35:51,523
They have us over a barrel.
828
00:35:52,290 --> 00:35:56,523
We give these billionaires
all our money, rely on them,
829
00:35:56,622 --> 00:35:59,156
and so they can do
whatever they want.
830
00:35:59,923 --> 00:36:03,655
Let's just face it, we're
never gonna get our stuff fixed.
831
00:36:03,790 --> 00:36:05,323
Yeah.
832
00:36:05,423 --> 00:36:09,790
And I guess it's
nobody's fault but our own.
833
00:36:09,790 --> 00:36:11,323
Excuse me?
834
00:36:11,423 --> 00:36:12,655
My name is Bob Iger
835
00:36:12,790 --> 00:36:14,256
from the Disney
entertainment company.
836
00:36:14,356 --> 00:36:16,655
We're looking
for an Eric Cartman.
837
00:36:16,790 --> 00:36:19,589
Our universe
has been manipulated with.
838
00:36:19,689 --> 00:36:21,956
Have you all
noticed anything strange?
839
00:36:24,555 --> 00:36:27,856
Yes. Yes, the world
is completely upside down!
840
00:36:27,956 --> 00:36:29,290
Nothing makes sense!
841
00:36:29,390 --> 00:36:30,990
It's because
there's some kind of
842
00:36:31,090 --> 00:36:32,523
disruption in the panderverse.
843
00:36:32,622 --> 00:36:35,256
We believe Kathleen Kennedy
has opened a portal.
844
00:36:35,356 --> 00:36:37,856
This is all
Kathleen Kennedy's fault?
845
00:36:37,956 --> 00:36:40,323
This is all Kathleen Kennedy's
fault!
846
00:36:40,423 --> 00:36:41,555
Who's Kathleen Kennedy?
847
00:36:41,655 --> 00:36:43,890
One of the top executives
at Disney.
848
00:36:43,990 --> 00:36:45,490
It's not us, you guys.
849
00:36:45,589 --> 00:36:47,655
I knew there was an explanation!
850
00:36:47,790 --> 00:36:49,589
We didn't waste our time
at college!
851
00:36:49,689 --> 00:36:51,956
We didn't get lazy
from technology!
852
00:36:52,056 --> 00:36:54,790
Everything is
Kathleen Kennedy's fault!
853
00:36:58,490 --> 00:37:01,790
Follow me.
I'll help you find Eric.
854
00:37:02,522 --> 00:37:04,890
Okay, okay,
everything is finally loaded.
855
00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:06,689
We got Internet
at full capacity.
856
00:37:06,790 --> 00:37:08,056
You guys ready
to see if this works?
857
00:37:08,156 --> 00:37:10,123
Yeah!
- All right, let's do this!
858
00:37:10,223 --> 00:37:11,823
Launching Steam now.
859
00:37:11,923 --> 00:37:12,956
Steam?
860
00:37:13,056 --> 00:37:14,456
Okay. I'm in Steam.
861
00:37:14,555 --> 00:37:15,790
Got the application ready to go.
862
00:37:15,790 --> 00:37:17,390
The title screen is launching!
863
00:37:19,589 --> 00:37:21,689
It's working.
It's working, you guys!
864
00:37:21,790 --> 00:37:23,123
It looks sweet
on this big monitor!
865
00:37:23,223 --> 00:37:25,589
Wait a minute.
You mean this entire time,
866
00:37:25,689 --> 00:37:27,423
all you've wanted to do
is play Baldur's Gate 3?
867
00:37:27,522 --> 00:37:29,123
Yeah. What'd you think
I was trying to do?
868
00:37:29,223 --> 00:37:31,023
We thought you were
trying to set up some elaborate
869
00:37:31,123 --> 00:37:32,655
system to get
back to your universe!
870
00:37:32,790 --> 00:37:34,823
I ain't no
quantum astro physicist.
871
00:37:34,923 --> 00:37:37,555
The fuck I know about
how the multiverse works?
872
00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:40,256
Wow. It really is Cartman.
873
00:37:40,356 --> 00:37:41,890
All right, that does it!
874
00:37:43,156 --> 00:37:44,589
Get out of my room!
875
00:37:44,689 --> 00:37:47,090
You have to be cool to me, Kyle.
PC Principal says so.
876
00:37:47,190 --> 00:37:50,256
I don't care! All this multiple
universe stuff is tired and lazy
877
00:37:50,356 --> 00:37:52,123
and we are not doing it anymore!
878
00:37:52,223 --> 00:37:53,790
Boys! Boys,
879
00:37:53,790 --> 00:37:55,455
we need to help Disney
put our universe back together.
880
00:37:55,555 --> 00:37:57,023
Where's Eric Cartman?
881
00:37:57,123 --> 00:37:58,790
Dad, this might be hard
to understand,
882
00:37:58,790 --> 00:38:00,356
but this is Eric Cartman.
883
00:38:00,455 --> 00:38:01,990
Oh, okay, great.
Come on, Eric,
884
00:38:02,090 --> 00:38:03,522
- we need to go.
885
00:38:03,622 --> 00:38:06,056
We have to hurry, Eric.
886
00:38:06,156 --> 00:38:07,823
No. No, wait.
887
00:38:07,923 --> 00:38:09,923
Something's wrong.
Oh, my God!
888
00:38:10,023 --> 00:38:12,190
- What is it?
- My save game.
889
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:14,589
I'm already like 50 hours
into Baldur's Gate 3
890
00:38:14,689 --> 00:38:16,956
but it's saying that
I have to start a new game.
891
00:38:17,056 --> 00:38:19,622
Do save games not cross
between multiple universes?
892
00:38:19,790 --> 00:38:20,890
Save games
don't even cross between
893
00:38:20,990 --> 00:38:22,522
PCs and PS5s,
why would they cross
894
00:38:22,622 --> 00:38:23,923
between multiple universes?
895
00:38:24,923 --> 00:38:26,156
No...!
896
00:38:26,256 --> 00:38:27,823
Please, everyone.
We are running out of time!
897
00:38:27,923 --> 00:38:29,790
We have to close
the panderverse before
898
00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:31,489
everything we care about
is destroyed!
899
00:38:31,589 --> 00:38:32,655
So what do we have to do?
900
00:38:32,790 --> 00:38:33,956
We have to get everyone
901
00:38:34,056 --> 00:38:35,790
back to the proper place,
but to breach
902
00:38:35,790 --> 00:38:37,522
the panderverse,
we need to find a place
903
00:38:37,622 --> 00:38:39,923
with integrity
that has a broken door.
904
00:38:40,823 --> 00:38:44,323
A place with "integridy"
that has a broken door.
905
00:38:44,422 --> 00:38:46,956
I know where to go.
906
00:38:49,023 --> 00:38:51,455
So, yeah, so it's just basically
off the hinges.
907
00:38:51,555 --> 00:38:53,455
I'd fix it myself
but I've been really busy.
908
00:38:53,555 --> 00:38:54,923
Do you think it'll work?
909
00:38:55,023 --> 00:38:56,555
If we're to try to open
a panderverse portal,
910
00:38:56,655 --> 00:38:58,589
it's as good as any place,
I suppose.
911
00:38:58,689 --> 00:39:00,522
Okay, people,
we don't have much time.
912
00:39:00,622 --> 00:39:03,689
Bring in the panderstone.
913
00:39:06,790 --> 00:39:08,790
I'm not your enemy, Eric.
914
00:39:08,890 --> 00:39:11,056
For some reason
fate has put us together.
915
00:39:11,156 --> 00:39:13,622
What do you want from me,
Kathleen Kennedy?
916
00:39:13,790 --> 00:39:15,923
I've been stuck in
this universe for months.
917
00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:17,990
I want out of here
just as much as you do.
918
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:21,023
Hello, welcome to City Woke,
can I take your order, please?
919
00:39:21,123 --> 00:39:22,190
Ugh.
920
00:39:22,290 --> 00:39:24,023
We're just having tea,
thank you.
921
00:39:24,123 --> 00:39:26,023
Okay, you just wanna tea
and talk about
922
00:39:26,123 --> 00:39:28,323
shitty male-dominated society,
that's fine.
923
00:39:28,422 --> 00:39:30,355
I don't get it,
this is exactly the kind of
924
00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:32,156
universe you wanted,
why would you want to leave?
925
00:39:32,256 --> 00:39:36,023
To stop her from undoing
the panderverse completely.
926
00:39:39,056 --> 00:39:41,489
I saw the panderstone
for the first time
927
00:39:41,589 --> 00:39:42,890
a few years ago.
928
00:39:42,990 --> 00:39:45,023
Bob Iger took us
to the Disney archives
929
00:39:45,123 --> 00:39:48,090
and showed us an ancient
piece of artificial intelligence
930
00:39:48,190 --> 00:39:50,923
that could be used to make
the same movies over
931
00:39:51,023 --> 00:39:54,790
and over again while appealing
to absolutely everyone.
932
00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:58,156
The panderstone worked great,
for a while.
933
00:39:58,256 --> 00:40:01,422
But then came the hate mail.
Ugly letters from racists
934
00:40:01,522 --> 00:40:03,555
who couldn't stand
that some of the panderstone's
935
00:40:03,655 --> 00:40:06,489
rehashes had diverse
women characters in the lead.
936
00:40:06,589 --> 00:40:10,123
I decided I would show them.
I would start making movies
937
00:40:10,223 --> 00:40:12,156
to fight all
the bigotry in our society.
938
00:40:12,256 --> 00:40:14,355
But instead
of doing any real work,
939
00:40:14,455 --> 00:40:19,722
I turned to the panderstone.
It made things so much easier.
940
00:40:19,823 --> 00:40:22,256
Soon, I was using
the panderstone over
941
00:40:22,355 --> 00:40:25,422
and over again to try
and fight all the ugly feedback,
942
00:40:25,522 --> 00:40:28,422
which in turn was growing
stronger and stronger.
943
00:40:29,190 --> 00:40:31,756
But I was fighting
with the wrong tool.
944
00:40:31,856 --> 00:40:33,555
I used the panderstone
to the point
945
00:40:33,655 --> 00:40:36,023
- that it became unstable.
946
00:40:36,856 --> 00:40:38,722
It opened a portal
to multiple universes,
947
00:40:38,823 --> 00:40:41,589
and something came through.
948
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:52,589
At first we fought. I tried
to send it back to its universe.
949
00:40:52,689 --> 00:40:54,289
But it got the upper hand.
950
00:40:54,389 --> 00:40:56,990
It was able instead
to send me to this universe,
951
00:40:57,090 --> 00:40:59,790
out of its way so
it could thrive in ours.
952
00:41:01,355 --> 00:41:03,790
That's actually
the best explanation
953
00:41:03,790 --> 00:41:07,156
I've heard as to why
Disney movies all suck now.
954
00:41:11,156 --> 00:41:12,655
All right, I've set
the panderstone
955
00:41:12,790 --> 00:41:14,389
into the compromised doorway.
956
00:41:14,489 --> 00:41:16,689
Activating the panderstone now.
957
00:41:18,090 --> 00:41:19,123
Whoa!
958
00:41:19,223 --> 00:41:20,790
Space-time portal
is manifesting!
959
00:41:20,890 --> 00:41:22,455
Panderverse
quantum fields are aligned!
960
00:41:22,555 --> 00:41:25,056
Yeah, that sounds like typical
multiverse gobbledygook.
961
00:41:25,156 --> 00:41:27,223
Will you stop ripping
on multiple universes, Kyle?
962
00:41:27,322 --> 00:41:29,023
I'm trying to get back
to Baldur's Gate.
963
00:41:29,123 --> 00:41:32,156
Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh,
once inside the panderverse,
964
00:41:32,255 --> 00:41:34,023
you will be falling
through different realities.
965
00:41:34,123 --> 00:41:36,156
Your mind will barely
be able to comprehend
966
00:41:36,255 --> 00:41:38,790
- what you are experiencing.
Randy?
967
00:41:38,790 --> 00:41:40,990
I think the oven door is
still having problems if you--
968
00:41:41,090 --> 00:41:43,923
I am working on it, Sharon!
969
00:41:45,389 --> 00:41:48,455
The portal is at full.
This might be our only shot!
970
00:41:48,555 --> 00:41:50,355
Good luck, Mr. Marsh!
971
00:41:50,455 --> 00:41:52,190
Whoa!
972
00:41:55,489 --> 00:41:57,790
Hold on to the rope!
973
00:41:59,222 --> 00:42:01,389
Oh, whoa!
974
00:42:01,489 --> 00:42:03,289
Oh, my God.
975
00:42:03,389 --> 00:42:05,956
Whoa!
976
00:42:06,056 --> 00:42:08,455
Whoa.
977
00:42:10,655 --> 00:42:13,389
Oh, God, it's so weird.
978
00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:15,389
Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts!
979
00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:18,655
Can you imagine it?
980
00:42:18,790 --> 00:42:20,355
An infinite number of universes
981
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,555
with infinite combinations of
pants and shirts.
982
00:42:22,655 --> 00:42:25,790
What do you think about
multiple universes now, boys?
983
00:42:27,023 --> 00:42:28,322
Yeah, they're pretty
fucking stupid.
984
00:42:28,422 --> 00:42:29,422
Yeah.
985
00:42:29,522 --> 00:42:30,956
I understand that maybe
986
00:42:31,056 --> 00:42:32,790
you were trying to
make a difference, Kathleen.
987
00:42:32,790 --> 00:42:34,689
But you have to admit
the last few movies
988
00:42:34,790 --> 00:42:36,422
you've shit out
have been real stinkers.
989
00:42:36,522 --> 00:42:37,890
All I ever wanted was to
990
00:42:37,990 --> 00:42:40,222
make great entertainment,
believe me.
991
00:42:40,322 --> 00:42:43,255
But as soon as you start getting
piles and piles of hate mail,
992
00:42:43,355 --> 00:42:45,856
endless messages
calling you the c-word,
993
00:42:45,956 --> 00:42:47,790
you can't think straight.
994
00:42:47,790 --> 00:42:50,522
Well, I'm sorry I wrote
all those letters.
995
00:42:50,622 --> 00:42:52,322
It probably was a bit much.
996
00:42:52,422 --> 00:42:55,622
No, I got like
10,000 letters a day.
997
00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:57,322
Mm, I was doing more like
12,000 to 13,000,
998
00:42:57,422 --> 00:42:59,790
especially after the new
Indiana Jones came out.
999
00:43:00,790 --> 00:43:03,790
Then it's you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1000
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:05,689
Fuck you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1001
00:43:05,790 --> 00:43:07,622
I wouldn't have tried
to fight racism
1002
00:43:07,790 --> 00:43:08,790
with the panderstone
if you hadn't
1003
00:43:08,790 --> 00:43:10,090
written all those letters.
1004
00:43:10,189 --> 00:43:11,389
I wouldn't have written
all those letters
1005
00:43:11,489 --> 00:43:12,622
if you hadn't
tried to fight racism
1006
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:14,455
with a fucking panderstone.
1007
00:43:16,222 --> 00:43:18,522
Mr. Marsh!
Can you hear us?
1008
00:43:18,622 --> 00:43:19,790
Oh, wow!
1009
00:43:19,890 --> 00:43:21,790
You should see
the pants I have on now!
1010
00:43:21,790 --> 00:43:25,155
Whoa! Oh, now I have on,
like, suspenders.
1011
00:43:25,255 --> 00:43:28,090
Like almost like overalls
but not quite!
1012
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:29,255
My God.
1013
00:43:29,355 --> 00:43:31,489
Mr. Marsh!
Try and stay focused!
1014
00:43:31,589 --> 00:43:34,189
You should be
seeing another portal soon!
1015
00:43:34,289 --> 00:43:36,422
If our Kathleen Kennedy
got the other Eric Cartman
1016
00:43:36,522 --> 00:43:37,923
to the right place.
1017
00:43:38,023 --> 00:43:39,689
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1018
00:43:39,790 --> 00:43:41,189
Dad? What's the matter?
1019
00:43:41,289 --> 00:43:43,489
I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens
shirt now!
1020
00:43:43,589 --> 00:43:45,090
I hate the Ravens!
1021
00:43:45,189 --> 00:43:47,856
I don't know if I can do this!
1022
00:43:47,956 --> 00:43:49,990
Oh, now it's the Dolphins!
Ah! The Chiefs!
1023
00:43:50,089 --> 00:43:51,790
Oh, it's the Chiefs!
1024
00:43:51,890 --> 00:43:53,355
He's losing his mind!
1025
00:43:53,455 --> 00:43:55,222
The panderverse
is filled with mystery
1026
00:43:55,322 --> 00:43:58,856
and paradox, you--
you have to try and hang on!
1027
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:04,255
Jesus, it's getting worse.
1028
00:44:10,155 --> 00:44:13,622
Where the fuck is Bob Iger?
1029
00:44:14,422 --> 00:44:16,522
Uh, Mr. Iger
just had to take some
1030
00:44:16,622 --> 00:44:18,255
of the others to a screening.
1031
00:44:18,355 --> 00:44:21,289
I think that things
are being kept from me.
1032
00:44:21,389 --> 00:44:23,790
And if you're going
to keep things from me,
1033
00:44:23,890 --> 00:44:26,355
then you'd better
put a chick in it,
1034
00:44:26,455 --> 00:44:29,689
and make her
fucking gay as fuck.
1035
00:44:35,990 --> 00:44:38,790
So that's it,
that's the connection.
1036
00:44:38,890 --> 00:44:41,790
I reacted to you
and you reacted to me.
1037
00:44:41,790 --> 00:44:44,355
And I guess
we created each other.
1038
00:44:44,455 --> 00:44:45,790
Mrs. Kennedy,
1039
00:44:45,790 --> 00:44:46,956
I don't think
I've ever said this
1040
00:44:47,055 --> 00:44:49,956
before in my life but...
I'm sorry.
1041
00:44:50,055 --> 00:44:52,956
I lashed out so hard and used
the c-word so many times,
1042
00:44:53,055 --> 00:44:55,355
you didn't really have
a choice but to double down.
1043
00:44:55,455 --> 00:44:58,890
Eric, I know you care
about all things Disney.
1044
00:44:58,990 --> 00:45:02,489
I'm sorry I was so reckless
with the things that you love.
1045
00:45:02,589 --> 00:45:05,522
It was just lazy.
1046
00:45:05,622 --> 00:45:07,189
I guess just wailing
1047
00:45:07,289 --> 00:45:10,823
on woke stuff all the time
is pretty lazy, too.
1048
00:45:17,990 --> 00:45:22,355
I think...
I think I can let go now.
1049
00:45:29,289 --> 00:45:32,589
Aah...
1050
00:45:33,389 --> 00:45:38,422
Come on, Kate. Looks like
we got a flight to catch.
1051
00:45:48,122 --> 00:45:50,422
Whoa, what the hell is that?
1052
00:45:54,089 --> 00:45:56,989
Oh, yo, bitch!
You killed Kenny!
1053
00:45:57,089 --> 00:45:59,155
You fat ho!
1054
00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:09,955
Look!
1055
00:46:13,589 --> 00:46:15,422
I'm back, you guys!
1056
00:46:17,255 --> 00:46:19,289
Kyle! Kyle, I'm back!
1057
00:46:19,389 --> 00:46:20,955
I was so wrong
about Kathleen Kennedy,
1058
00:46:21,055 --> 00:46:22,555
Kyle, she's so awesome!
1059
00:46:22,655 --> 00:46:24,823
Okay, what Cartman is this?
1060
00:46:24,923 --> 00:46:26,222
Mrs. Kennedy, you're back!
1061
00:46:26,322 --> 00:46:28,622
- Great to see you, ma'am.
- Thanks, you guys.
1062
00:46:28,790 --> 00:46:31,422
We have a lot of changes
to discuss at the company.
1063
00:46:31,522 --> 00:46:33,823
From now on we're only
going to make original content
1064
00:46:33,923 --> 00:46:35,455
that doesn't pander.
1065
00:46:35,555 --> 00:46:37,555
Sure we will, Kate.
Sure we will.
1066
00:46:38,922 --> 00:46:40,856
Hey, guys! Guys, over here!
1067
00:46:41,622 --> 00:46:44,922
I did a little extra work while
I was out in multiple universes.
1068
00:46:45,022 --> 00:46:47,389
We're not gonna have a problem
with billionaires anymore,
1069
00:46:47,489 --> 00:46:49,322
check it out!
1070
00:46:52,790 --> 00:46:55,890
Now people who can do stuff
will be just as poor
1071
00:46:55,989 --> 00:46:57,255
as the rest of us!
1072
00:46:59,790 --> 00:47:02,622
Tom, it appears that
everything is back to normal.
1073
00:47:02,790 --> 00:47:05,355
Billionaires have been put
in their place and once again
1074
00:47:05,455 --> 00:47:08,222
it doesn't matter that we
don't know how to do anything.
1075
00:47:08,322 --> 00:47:10,790
It's a good ending here
and we can all be happy
1076
00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:15,322
that everyone
is back in their universe.
1077
00:47:22,489 --> 00:47:24,089
Mom! Mom!
1078
00:47:24,189 --> 00:47:25,989
What is it, Mrs. Kennedy?
1079
00:47:26,089 --> 00:47:27,522
Oh. Oh, Mom!
1080
00:47:27,622 --> 00:47:29,489
I was just having
the worst nightmare.
1081
00:47:29,589 --> 00:47:32,122
I was me except everyone
around me was different.
1082
00:47:32,222 --> 00:47:33,622
Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy.
1083
00:47:33,790 --> 00:47:37,189
Here, have some of your favorite
cereal to calm you down.
1084
00:47:37,289 --> 00:47:39,422
Oh, thank you. It was so real.
1085
00:47:39,522 --> 00:47:41,055
All my friends were there
but they'd been
1086
00:47:41,155 --> 00:47:42,389
replaced by strangers.
1087
00:47:42,489 --> 00:47:44,289
I think you were even there
too, Kyle.
1088
00:47:44,389 --> 00:47:46,355
Really? I was there, too?
1089
00:47:46,455 --> 00:47:48,022
Yeah, that's right, Kyle,
you were there
1090
00:47:48,122 --> 00:47:49,189
but you weren't cereal
and I couldn't
1091
00:47:49,289 --> 00:47:50,389
just eat you like I can here.
1092
00:47:51,989 --> 00:47:53,189
No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy!
1093
00:47:53,289 --> 00:47:54,790
Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle!
1094
00:47:54,889 --> 00:47:57,189
Oh, oh, it's so good to be home.
1095
00:47:57,289 --> 00:47:59,522
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
78343
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