Original subtitles

Don.

Catherine.

This just isn't working out, all right?

whether it's painting or sculpture

or computer-generated graphics,

it doesn't matter what style you chose to work in.

Whether it's primitivism or romantic realism

or postmodern deconstructivism,

the same rules apply.

Everything is governed by the laws of nature.

Nowhere are the principles and laws

more perfectly manifested than in the human form.

Excuse me.

Um, is this the, uh...

Life study.

Wait a minute, don't tell me, let me guess.

Lily Leonetti?

You're two weeks and 30 minutes late.

Sorry.

Family emergency.

That's all right, come on in.

Want to get set up over here?

I don't think Catherine's coming back.

All right, let's try to stay focused, folks.

I'm talking about learning the rules before you break them,

specifically perspective and proportion

as it relates to the human body,

which brings us back to Isabel.

So, see if you can discover the hidden truths,

the shadows in the light.

Translate what you see through your arms and fingertips

onto the page.

Hi.

Hi.

Is this 508 alta?

Yep.

I'm Gredin.

Lily.

t know.

Thank you.

follow me.

the entrance is in the back.

Bye, Lily.

Yes?

I'm Lily, the new roommate.

Oh, you're here.

Yeah.

I'm Tanya, by the way.

Hi.

Um, anything in this cupboard is mine.

And the living room is off limits

because that's where I practice, right?

Bridgette, Lily.

English major, right?

no.

Art.

Painting.

That's funny, I never would've guessed.

Well, I can see we're off to a good start.

she always like that?

Unfortunately, yes.

What about that guy Gredin?

Oh, Gredin's really cool

and an amazing sculptor.

And that's Robert.

Major talent.

Well, here we are.

It's not exactly the bel air.

In fact, it's not even the ramada.

it's nice.

Where did you say you were from again?

Michigan.

Hm.

First time to l.A?

First time anywhere really.

Well, the world of bikes is calling.

Gotta run.

Hello?

How's l.A, kiddo?

Hi, dad.

It's good.

It's nice.

Well this place feels pretty empty

without you.

Okay.

Lily.

Hi, mom.

Did you find your surprise?

hold on a sec.

What is it?

It's just a little something

to remind you of us.

You know, I don't know why

you have to go all the way to L.A.

To be an artist.

We could've bought you a car if you went to state.

Mary Jane, you know Catherine's daughter,

she went to state,

and she's very happy making all sorts of arts and crafts.

Mom, do we have to have this conversation again?

Where's daddy?

Bob?

Oh, he's gone off somewhere.

Okay, well, um, I gotta go.

Go?

We just got on.

Mom, I'm gonna be late for class.

Okay.

Well will we see you at Thanksgiving?

I don't know yet, mom.

I haven't looked at my schedule.

Lily.

I'll try, okay.

Bye.

That's, uh, Peter the performance artist,

or as he likes to refer to it, "self as show."

Someday, with any luck,

somebody will put him out of his misery.

Look at her, Lily.

What do you see?

I see

a face

and a body.

What else?

t see a naked woman.

Right, a whole naked woman, not just parts.

Not just the head.

Clothed breast

and the waist,

the leg and the whole thing,

get it all on the page.

That's it, you just keep going over and over again

and eventually...

Technique will give way to expression.

Thank you.

Or

Expression will give way to expression.

You have some thoughts you'd like to share with us?

Me?

Thoughts?

Share?

Nah, I couldn't possibly.

I'm here to listen and learn.

Copy and conform.

I mean, from this masterpiece you've just created,

it's obvious that you've transcended all need

for traditional forms.

no.

This, my fellow students, was created

out of no other tradition

but that of boredom.

This,

this is an a plus.

This is a perfect example of 100% surrender

to the process of tradition.

It's so lifelike

that you can almost fuck it.

You through?

Want to get back to work?

Jackass.

Lily?

You okay?

Yeah.

Lily?

Yeah?

Can I come in?

no.

I'm not dressed.

I'm sorry about earlier.

It had nothing to do with you.

January 28th, it's late.

I'm wide awake.

Burning up, bored.

Feel like dancing.

Having some fun.

Like turning someone on.

Tease,

taunt,

twist him around my little finger.

Take him to places he never knew he wanted to go.

Bad places.

Dark places.

Great places.

February 1st, self-portraits.

To expose it all,

to see myself the way a lover would.

No shame, no fear.

Not a fear in the world.

Nothing hidden.

No secrets.

Nothing hidden.

No secrets.

"With you I'm so foolish it hurts.

"My mouth wants to speak,

"but only knows the wrong thing to say.

"Without you there is no flower

"and nothing good grows in the garden of my heart."

Hello?

Hello.

Uh, Lily Leonetti?

Yeah.

1 understand you're looking

for a babysitting job.

Bridgette, shut that shit off!

Bridgette!

I'm gonna kill her.

You want to help?

Good.

I was thinking fat pills.

She's always saying how if she gains one more pound,

she's gonna kill herself.

Suicide, very good.

Thank you, thank you very much.

You know what?

What?

I got a job.

Doing what?

Babysitting.

Well, how totally sweet.

- It is. - It is!

She hates me.

I'm an insensitive male.

you two know each other?

We do, but she might not want to know me now.

Tell her I'm not half bad, Tanya.

I wish I were half as good as you, Gredin.

Come on, I'll make it up to you.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

I got carried away with Donald.

I shouldn't have put you in the middle of it.

No, uh, I probably overreacted.

I can sometimes be hypersensitive.

you shouldn't be.

You got it.

Yeah.

The only person in class whose hand the teacher has to hold.

Literally.

Well Falk has a weakness

for his female undergrads,

especially when they look like you.

What is this?

This is my magical craft.

I'm sorta hoping it'll win me a Guggenheim.

You'll get it.

You psychic?

no.

You deserve it.

So where were you the first two weeks?

Well,

when I applied I never thought I'd get accepted,

and I was,

and I just freaked.

No big family emergency.

Just my own little private one.

That's all.

That's enough.

You, uh, see that hill over there?

Mm-hm.

That's Beverly Hills, that's my home.

Might as well be Timbuktu.

My father and I, we don't talk anymore.

What are you thinking?

I'm making a wish.

What are you wishing?

That I could just

open my eyes and be different.

Silly me.

I'm listening.

And I like doing that.

You're beautiful.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

You're sweet.

You're beautiful.

And different.

Um...

Lily.

March 1st.

How do you know what you can do until you do it?

How do you know who you can have until you have them?

I didn't know him from Adam,

but I knew exactly what he needed.

What he needed was me.

A dark club, loud music,

a corner to ourselves.

Anonymous.

Shameless.

No past.

No future.

tease.

Taunt.

Twist him around my little finger.

No shame.

No fear.

Not a fear in the world.

Yeah, looking good!

That guy's a loser.

Besides, I have a lot more to offer

than just my fine young body.

I have it up here.

That's, uh, too bad,

because all I was really interested in was your body.

Same time, same place?

Maybe.

Hey there.

Hi.

Well, what do you think?

It's, uh,

intense.

Either something very tragic or terribly exciting

is happening in your life.

See, women only change their hair when it's one of the two.

Oh.

I don't know, I,

I think I was just bored.

Oh come on, I bet it was something exciting.

Like what?

I confess, I'm not really a fortune teller.

You have a such a pretty face.

You shouldn't hide it behind that new hairstyle.

Donald?

Hey.

Hey.

Thought I'd find you here.

Lily, meet Angela, my wife.

Angela, this is Lily.

- Hi. - Our new babysitter.

Hi, nice to meet you, Lily.

12 Mississippi.

13 Mississippi.

14 Mississippi.

15 Mississippi.

I'm ready!

16 Mississippi.

Lily, hurry up!

17,

18,

19,

20!

Daphne?

Daphne?

Boo!

Gotcha!

Oh, I must say, Daphne, you are a great hider.

Thank you.

Oh you're welcome.

Those are pictures of daddy's old paintings.

He doesn't like to paint anymore.

Why?

Mama says it's because painting makes him crazy.

Daphne?

- I'm gonna hide again. - Where are you?

Wait, Daphne.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello?

Hello?

Hi.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi.

Hi, Lily. - Hi.

What you been up to?

Uh, I did a portrait.

Great.

Angela's getting back into her photography.

She always said she'd give Daphne four years,

but lucky Daphne got a full seven.

Right.

Um, why don't you take Lily home?

Should be getting back.

Mom, I'm hiding and no one's come to find me!

- Bye, Lily. - Bye.

Come on, I'll give you a lift.

And now from l.A's best station

for the sound of jazz,

another 30 minutes of uninterrupted...

So.

So, why don't you tell me

a little bit about yourself, Lily?

Where was it you said you were from?

You'll laugh.

Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Born and bred.

Wow, that's a big move, huh?

All the way out to California by yourself?

I was really scared at first, you know,

but I think I made the right decision.

Definitely.

Can't afford to be afraid at your stage of the game.

Right up here?

Yeah, that's it.

Well, I guess I better let you out.

thanks a lot.

Your bag.

thanks.

Listen, if you want to, uh,

show me some of your other work sometime,

I'd love to see it.

Like when, like after class?

Yeah.

I'm in the studio every afternoon

by the faculty building.

Okay, yeah.

Maybe I'll do that.

All right.

June 1st.

Ivy's philosophy, number 21.

Never fall in love.

As long as I can break somebody's heart,

that's love enough for me.

How do you know what you can do until you do it?

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

Good, and you?

I'm good.

Thirsty?

sure.

You don't like it?

no.

No, I think you look incredibly sexy.

I'm glad you like it.

did Donald like it?

I saw him drop you off.

Seems like you're becoming a regular teacher's pet.

no.

Just his babysitter.

Do you still think that I'm different?

Beautiful?

Yeah.

May I?

Okay.

May I?

There I was again,

going out into the unknown,

just because.

Do you remember me?

Take me with you.

t can't.

You didn't think I'd come, did you?

t wasn't sure.

Bring it here.

The great midwest.

Mm, looks nice.

thanks.

Good student.

Student?

Well, you're still very cautious.

And careful.

You know, it's,

it's sort of funny to me the way you can

teach and judge and yet you yourself no longer paint.

You think that's funny?

No, actually I think it's bullshit.

What do you propose to do about it?

t don't know.

See,

to be an artist,

you know, to be a serious artist,

you have to be willing to sacrifice everything.

You have to confront your demons

and go into battle with them.

that's what I want.

I'm ready for that.

Really?

I lost a few battles along the way myself.

That's why I stopped painting.

Well then,

maybe I can help you face your fears

and you could help me face mine.

You sure?

Sit down.

Do it.

Take off your clothes.

Does that prospect frighten you?

Yeah, a little.

Then all the more reason to do it, right?

Okay.

See ya.

tomorrow?

hi.

Hi.

Um, I'm really late for work.

You know, you're starting to make me feel like

one of those seduced and abandoned cases.

This isn't a boy-girl thing, Gredin.

This is a work thing.

Are you sure?

don't be so insecure.

Hi, this is Lily,

I can't get to the phone,

so leave your message after the beep.

Thanks.

Boo!

Gotcha!

Um, we're having a party tonight.

It's gonna be pretty loud,

so I just thought I'd let you know.

Bye.

fuck hev.

Gredin!

Gredin!

Yo, over here!

Hey, you beautiful man, come on!

Gredin!

Stop what you're doing!

Oh god, I'm so tired.

Why do you have to have this sculpture all the way up here?

Here's beer!

Is that lipstick on your face?

You better not be kissing anybody but me tonight, okay?

You sexy man.

I'm having a party.

fuck him.

Oh it's gonna be so much fun.

fuck them all.

Are you out of your mind?

Why would you want to do something like that?

Self-expression.

wait a minute.

First you cut off all your hair,

then you Pierce your bellybutton,

now you're smoking?

What the hell is going on with you?

Tanya, don't you have some sort of superhighway

that you need to get on?

Why don't you go have some fun?

I was just leaving.

Guess I won't introduce you to Roxanne.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hm, what should I have?

how about an icebreaker?

What exactly is an icebreaker?

Turn around and I'll show you.

Don't move.

Hey, to icebreakers!

Thanks.

Dance with me!

Oh my god.

No one's safe with you around.

You got a problem with that?

Hi, this is Lily,

and I can't get to the phone,

so leave me a message after the beep.

Thanks.

Lily, it's your mom.

Lily, we're worried about you.

Your dad wants to talk to you.

Hey, kiddo.

How you doing?

Please call home, darling.

Your mom is driving me crazy.

We'll see you at Thanksgiving, right?

God.

Is that the time?

I'm late for Donald's class.

So we're late for professor fuck's class?

What's the big deal?

I want to go, that's what the big deal is.

So go.

What do you think I'm trying to do?

So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?

I don't know yet.

Uh, Bridgette, Tanya, and, uh, Robert are gonna go home.

It's gonna get rather lonely around here.

What about you?

What are you gonna do?

Gredin?

Hello?

Hello?

Who was that on the phone?

Gredin?

Who was that on the phone?

t don't know.

Someone who obviously didn't want to talk to me.

You know, there seems to be

a whole hell of a lot I don't know.

Don't.

what's the matter?

What did I do?

you tell me.

What are you doing?

I want to know, Lily.

Um, I really can't have this conversation right now

because I'm late for class.

I don't know who you are anymore.

I don't know who I'm making love to anymore.

If this is some kind of contest, Lily,

I don't want to compete.

He thought you wrote these.

Hi.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

Thought you might be hungry.

Matter of fact, I am, thanks.

Since when do you lock the door?

Since the last campus shooting.

Painting again?

Mm, it's delicious, honey, thanks.

can I have a look?

no.

You know not to ask.

When I have something to show you,

I'll show it to you.

Donald?

Yeah?

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

Why?

So who are you painting?

No one in particular.

Okay, fine.

What do you want me to do,

stand in front of the class for the rest of my life

and yak about something

that I don't have the guts to do anymore,

like a fucking hypocrite? Donald, that's not

what we're talking about here.

Well what are we talking about?

I don't want to lose you again,

and especially not to some 20-year-old undergraduate

who looks at you like you're god and,

and poses between fucks.

You and Daphne are my life,

and I love you very much.

We've both been fooled by that before, haven't we?

Last time nearly killed us, Donald.

Whatever.

Well, where were you today?

What do you mean?

You weren't in class.

Neither was Gredin.

Any connection between the two?

You know, I'm gonna go, because this is...

Wait wait, just tell me.

Were you with him?

Yes.

Wait.

Don't go.

I don't want you to go.

I can't let you go.

I can't stop thinking about you.

I'm painting again for the first time in years

and it's because of you.

I've never felt this way before in my life.

Help me overcome my fear.

Big scaredy cat.

Not anymore.

don't.

What are you doing?

Kissing you.

Falling in love with you.

don't.

Why?

just don't.

come here.

What?

Your beauty scares me.

It terrifies me.

Wait, wait.

Who is it?

It's Diana.

Not right now, okay?

Oh all right. thanks.

I'll come back.

Sorry.

Stay.

I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting lately.

It's just this is a really hard transition for me

and I, uh,

I've been confused.

But I'm not confused anymore.

Please don't give up on me.

Well don't just stand there, Donald.

Invite them in.

- Angela, hi. - Hi.

this is Gredin.

He was kind of homeless, so I invited him.

I hope you don't mind.

No, no, not at all.

Hi, Gredin.

pleasure.

Um, do you two know each other?

Yeah.

He's in my class.

Oh, well, we've got the posse.

Wow, it smells great in here.

Can I do anything?

You can set a place for Gredin.

- Okay. - Hi, Lily.

Hey, little one!

Can I ask you something?

What?

Is Gredin your boyfriend?

Gredin's my boyfriend.

Is that you?

Yeah.

Yes, it is.

Um, Donald painted that a long time ago now,

but that's me.

Come in.

Come on.

I'll show you around.

Very good.

Very nice.

Why didn't you tell me you were inviting Lily?

I thought I did.

You didn't.

all set.

Need some help?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Wow.

Did good with this one, Lily.

Thanks.

You bring the Cranberries for me?

Mm-hm.

Lily, grab the mineral water, would you?

It's in the fridge.

Sure.

I'm glad you here.

I wanted you here.

Where are you going?

into the other room.

Where do you think I'm going?

Wait just a second.

don't.

Just let me look at you.

Why did you bring him?

Because he's my boyfriend.

So, Gredin, why don't you sit over here,

Lily next to Gredin.

Daphne, you're here beside Lily.

Donald, you're over here next to me.

Do you have a cake for Johnny?

of course.

I'm finished, mom.

I'm gonna hide.

Fine, honey, you go ahead.

So Lily tells me you're a photographer.

Mm, I used to be.

Making a comeback.

And you're a painter?

I'm a sculptor mostly.

An amazing sculptor.

With an aversion to life study.

That's not entirely true.

Really?

News to me.

Me and Donald agree on a couple things.

Like your beauty for example.

I've never seen your work before.

It's good.

It's amazing what you can do with the right subject.

Donald's painting again.

For the first time in a long while.

He's quite...

Let me get some more wine.

serious about it.

It's a secret.

So, um, how did you and Donald meet?

Wow.

Uh, I, I wanted to do a life study class.

I, um, heard about this single, brilliant,

good-looking professor,

and, um, weaseled my way into his class.

The rest is history.

Bit of a cliche I know, but...

Some more?

Yeah, thanks.

Angela was just telling us how the two of you met.

For god's sakes, hon, let's not bore them with our trivia.

I never actually thought of it as trivia, Donald.

Where's Daphne?

Sound asleep.

She should be in bed, shouldn't she?

Yeah.

Come on, sweetie.

Let's go.

Here, I'll take her.

No, I want daddy and Lily to take me.

Mm, well.

Good night.

Let me give you a hand.

Yeah, thank you.

There you go.

Sleep tight now, beautiful.

Okay.

Good night, little girl.

Good night, big girl.

What are you doing?

What does it feel like I'm doing?

Are you fucking crazy?

I'm fucking crazy about you.

- What was that? - Ah.

Ow!

I cut myself.

Here.

What are you gonna do, huh?

You're gonna fuck me right here?

I love you.

You don't love me, no, no.

I do.

- No! - Love me.

- No! - Love me.

no!

Nol

no! Lily, please.

Get off me!

Daphne!

Daphne!

Don, don't you touch her!

Don't you dare!

Don't you touch her!

You bastard!

Get outta here!

That's enough!

That's enough!

911, state your emergency.

Fuck you, Ivy.

Bitch!

Daphne's gonna be fine.

I don't know if you care.

And you?

- am I fine or do I care?

oh Gredin.

I can't let you go, Lily.

Not after everything we've been through.

oh no.

It's over, Donald.

Don't fight.

Don't shut me out!

I can't let you go, Lily!

I love you too much!

I'm not gonna hurt you, Lily.

Just let me in.

The police are on their way.

I never meant to hurt you or your family.

You have to believe me.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Donald.

Nol

nol

nol

nol

Nol

get away from me.

Nol

nol

go!

I know it's pointless to ask you to forgive me.

Okay, well I'm just gonna talk,

and then you won't have to deal with me anymore.

Um,

my whole life

I've, I've felt like a freak.

You know, back home in Michigan,

I wasn't accepted because I was different,

and then I come here and I'm not different enough.

So

Ti decided

to become someone else.

Someone

tough and infallible.

Beautiful.

And sexy.

Fearless.

And it worked.

For the first time in my life,

I was accepted.

And I became intoxicated by the freedom of it all.

Until it was too late.

It's too late, isn't it?

Well.

For what it's worth,

I love you.

Lily.

I love you.