Original subtitles

-Vodka? -Sure.

Do you go to school here, or are you following me?

Me following you?

Yeah, I saw you today in the city.

You were staring at me.

Is that something you do-- stare at girls in the subway?

I don't know. Did you follow me all the way here to ask me that?

I go to school here, but I haven't seen you.

I'm new. I'm the new professor...

in the agricultural studies department.

There is no agricultural studies department.

Well, you see, that's the thing. Poultry--it's a new thing.

I'm like a poultry specialist, so I'm here to supervise.

I know, you're thinking I'm too young, right?

You're thinking, "How could this guy...

"have such a vast understanding of the domesticated fowl?"

I could tell you, if you're interested.

-Are there any mixers? -Mixers?

Chicken!

You see--

What are you doing with my friend's chicken?

I don't know. What would you like me to do...

with your friend's chicken?

Coitus.

-I dare you. -You dare me?

What do you dare me to do?

Would you think I was being too forward...

if I said, "Let's go back to your room"?

What would you say if I said, "Let's go back to my room"?

But let's bring Thea.

I can't--

I'm sorry.

Why should you be sorry? I'm sorry.

No, I am. I'm sorry.

Well, you shouldn't be sorry. I had fun.

You did?

Yeah. Didn't you?

I guess.

What do you mean, you guess?

I mean, I guess I had fun, but I felt bad, I guess.

I mean, the whole thing was a little weird, I guess.

I'm sorry. It's my fault.

I thought it would be fun.

No, don't apologize. I thought it'd be fun, too.

Thea had fun.

But she's sorry, too.

So, we're all sorry, but we all had fun.

So, are you and Thea, like, hangin' out?

Yeah, but not like that.

I mean, we're friends.

So, what are you doing this weekend?

I don't know. Nothin'. What are you doing?

Shit!

So, what do you do?

I'm an animator.

I ink animation cels for this shitty ad firm.

But I also do some of my own stuff.

Where are you from?

Here and there.

My parents moved around a lot, so...

Can't we talk about something else?

Like how beautiful you are?

What are we doing?

What do you mean?

I mean, what are we doing?

What do you want out of this?

I don't know.

What do you want?

I like you.

I like sleeping with you.

I like waking up with you.

What about you?

I like you, too.

I don't want to play any games.

Me, neither.

But I don't want to, like...

put any rules on you or anything, either.

Oh, me, neither. I mean that.

I just think the most important thing...

is that we're honest with each other...

that we let each other know what's going on...

and not lie about anything.

Of course.

I'm not playing any games.

Are you sure it's OK?

Yeah, it's cool.

It is a little weird, don't you think?

We--

I mean, we don't want it to change anything.

We don't want to make you feel weird.

Coles!

What...?

Come on!

Hello, everybody.

What's goin' on?

There's a party in a warehouse in Brooklyn.

It's like a rave or something.

I thought we were gonna have a nice, quiet night in tonight.

We won't stay for long. It'll be fun.

I was kind of looking forward...

to just hanging out and doing nothing.

But we can do that any night.

Yeah, but the thing is, is we don't.

Come here.

What for?

-Just a sec. -What?

It's right here in my hand.

Come on.

Come on, it'll be fun.

We'll leave immediately if it's not, I promise.

I can't just ditch those guys.

Where's Coles?

He went home.

That was a long cab ride.

I want this.

Can I have it? Can I have this one?

I'll be in in a minute.

Sam.

Sam, I'm gonna go in, OK?

Stop.

Turn out the light.

Melissa, honey. We're leaving.

Holy shit!

I left the number of the hotel on the kitchen table.

This is amazing!

Jesus.

Good-bye, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!

This is amazing.

So, what do you guys want to do?

I don't know.

I don't know. What do you want to do?

I told Sid I'd call him.

Your lame-ass roommate? Please don't.

Fuck off. Sid rocks.

Hey, is Sid there?

Hey, what's up?

Nothin'. Just chillin' like Bob Dylan.

Come over.

No, you have no excuse, OK?

Hey! Wait for me! I'm gonna get dressed.

Wait, don't open the door!

Hey, Sid! Come on in. Take a load off.

You guys are crazy, huh?

Thank you! Merry Christmas!

So, what are you on?

Come on in.

Sid, what do you want to be when you grow up, son?

Come on, Sid. You have to do better than that.

-Sid's gonna be a writer. -Oh, yeah?

He is. He's like the most amazing writer I know.

He writes all my papers for me.

I don't actually write all her-- I mean, I help her.

-Oh, really? -Oh, really?

What about you, Coles? What do you want to do?

I'm never growing up.

-What about you, Thea? -What about me?

What are you gonna be when you grow up? Sid's manager?

Or maybe you should be a writer, too...

and then Sid could do all of your writing for you.

No, I don't actually write all her papers.

OK, Sid! Damn it!

I'm gonna be...

a country and western singer.

I'm fine.

No. No hair in there. No hair.

-ls she gonna be all right? -Yeah, she'll be fine.

Don't worry about it. I'll take care of her.

What do you want to do, really?

I want to make movies.

What kind of movies?

Movies that make people think...

Iike, about my butt.

Sometimes it seems like you're scared...

to take anything seriously.

Like...

you're afraid that if you say what you really feel...

that people will criticize you.

So you only joke around all the time.

Do you think that's true?

Maybe.

Or maybe I just don't take anything seriously.

Thanks, Sid.

You're really good to me.

You'd do the same for me.

No, I wouldn't.

You're not a fucking mess like me.

You're not a fucking fuck-up like I am.

You're not a fuck-up, Thea.

You just need some sleep, OK?

Sid?

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you love me?

Yeah, of course I love you.

No, I mean, do you think I'm a good person?

Oh, shit.

You're not dressed?

-What? -You're not out of bed?

I'm out of bed.

I fucked Sid last night.

What?

You fucked Sid?

-Sid Sid? -Yeah.

Thea! Do you think that was a good idea?

You guys are friends.

I know, I know.

It might have been a dipshit move. I can't decide yet.

-No, I mean, really. -Whatever, you know.

What's a little fucking among friends, right?

I'm gonna go and get some brunch.

OK. Do you want to wait for me?

I'll see you down there.

OK. I'll meet you there.

As a kid, did you always know...

what you wanted to be when you grew up?

Why do you ask?

You never really answer anything, do you?

Except with another question.

When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up...

to be powerful enough that no one could do anything...

when I shit all over 'em.

What if I said that?

I'd say that's great, Coles.

At least you're saying something.

But you're not. You're saying, "What if I said that?"

Have you--have you been seeing other people?

What? It's just a simple question.

Have you?

Have you?

Maybe.

"Maybe."

What do you mean, maybe?

Well, "Maybe" means that may or may not be...

something I've been doing.

But we're not talking about me. I asked you first.

Fine, yeah. I slept with a girl.

It was just sex, that's it.

Why?

I don't know. Why not?

What about you?

What about me?

Who did you sleep with?

Nobody.

I'm gonna leave.

Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah. You have work to do.

I don't want you to leave like this.

Like what?

Like this. With us fighting like this.

We're not fighting.

It's not like I own you, right?

It's just...

It was just one thing to talk about...

and I didn't know how it would make me feel.

I love you, OK?

What happened with that girl, it didn't mean anything.

I just feel stupid.

Come on, don't feel stupid.

There's no reason to feel stupid. It didn't mean anything.

I'll be fine.

I love you.

Get some work done. I'll see you tonight.

Please don't cry.

Fuck.

Please don't.

I can't...

I just like...

I just want to be your friend.

I gotta go. I'll see you tonight.

-I'm so glad you could make it. -Hi! How are you?

-Good. How are you? -Remember Sid?

Oh, hi, Sid. Come in. I want to talk to you.

Let's just try to have some fun, OK?

Looking at my hands?

You have amazing hands.

I saw the cast of your hands in the Biennial last year...

the bronze ones?

-They were beautiful. -Thanks.

That's strange.

Not supposed to be wearing it.

Pig skin.

-Let me get inside these. -No, no, no. Those stay on.

I was angry.

Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

I don't have a heart.

Yeah, you do.

It's just really little and black.

This could make us stronger.

Don't you think?

Be very quiet, will you?

Don't say anything. Touch me.

Oh, I feel sick.

Where's Sam?

She's right there.

Is she coming?

I'm surprised that you're so upset by this situation.

-What is this situation? -This!

There is no situation...

except for you being a complete fucking asshole!

It's like you planned this to try and prove something.

But you know what?

That's fine, but I quit.

I quit. You win. Game over.

I'm sorry.

Fuck you.

Hold up there!

Come on, fella.

Hold him down!

Sam!

Fuck you, Sam! Fuck you!

Sid, I want to apolo--

Excuse me.

Are you Coles Burroughs, the film director?

Yeah. I did a film a few years ago.

I thought I recognized you.

I saw your picture once in Filmmaker magazine...

and I saw your movie.

Really didn't like it very much.

I'm sorry.

I was kind of wondering-- could I have my money back?

You know that ticket that you bought?

I didn't get any of that money, you know.

That all went to the distributors...

and the executive producers. I didn't see a dime.

But you made it.

You're responsible.

What was it, eight bucks?

Nineteen. I took a girl.

She didn't like it at all, either.

She said she thought it was morally reprehensible.

Especially the depiction of women.

All right, there you go.

And tell your girlfriend that I said I'm sorry.

Oh, no, we broke up.

Yeah. I'd also like the tuna, please.

Yeah, and how long do you think? Half hour?

That's great. OK. Thanks.

So, I ordered you the tuna.

How was your day?

It was great. They loved the dancing taco idea.

Oh, the insidiously racist taco.

-Just what they wanted. -That's great.

What is with you?

August first.

Oh, my God. I knew I was forgetting something.

-You forgot? -Honey, I totally forgot.

I'm so sorry.

I'm kidding.

I got you the Claire Denis boxed set.

You got me a picture of some videotapes! That's great!

It's not coming in until next week, so until then, yeah.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Open yours.

It's an autographed copy.

They--it's a first edition.

That's beautiful, Coles.

"D is for demon."

Thank you.

Just eat me!

Taco man! Just eat it!

Maybe we could try music that's a little less ethnic.

Of course.

-Looks great, though. -Oh, yeah.

Just get rid of that music, and I think we got a home run.

Great. Thanks, Rick.

Hey, keep up the good work, Coles.

I felt a really great connection there.

Did you feel it? You feel it? You feel it?

Who's this--is that me?

Yeah. I think so, yeah.

-You look great! -So do you!

I heard that you were married.

-Thea is, did you know that? -No. Have you two kept in touch?

Yeah. We reconnected a few years ago...

and her husband owns this restaurant--Theadora's.

Theadora's is named after Thea?

Do you know it?

Yeah. I've definitely heard of it.

I've never been there, but... is it nice?

I don't know. I haven't been, either.

I just got back into town on-- last week.

Where from? Where you been?

London. Yeah, I just moved back.

You want to go get a drink or something? Coffee? Catch up?

Yeah. I can't right now, but I would love to.

I...

Let me give you the number of my parents' flat.

Oh, if it's what it was, I still have it.

Yeah, it's the same.

I'm going to be living there since they don't really use it.

I'll call you.

Good.

So...

-I'll see you soon. -Yeah.

Sam, there's a Thea on the line.

Oh, thanks, Lisa!

Thea, you look great.

Thanks. So do you.

-The blond is nice. -You like it?

I don't know what to do with it.

Miles wants me to grow it out natural color...

but you know what? Fuck him!

When are you gonna come to the restaurant?

God, I don't know. This week has been totally crazy.

It'll settle down soon.

I'm having lunch with Coles tomorrow.

What? Did you call him?

No, I ran into him, like, at the gym.

You just happened to run into him at the gym?

What, are you, like, stalking him?

No, it was a total coincidence.

It was, I swear to God.

So, what's he doing?

Well, I don't know. We didn't really have time to catch up.

Is he still making movies?

I don't know. I guess so.

Did you ever end up seeing his movie?

I liked it. I mean...

it was kind of weird to see, but...

Why don't you guys both come for dinner?

Or would that be too--

I think that he has a serious girlfriend.

I don't know. Something gave me that impression.

Sam, don't even think about it.

I know. But still...

I don't actually write all her papers.

OK, Sid. Damn it!

I'm gonna be a country and western singer.

What about you, Sam? What are you gonna be when you grow up?

I don't know what I want to do.

I'd like to do something that helps people, you know?

I'd like to give something back.

How noble.

Hey, honey.

Hey, how was your day?

Can I just please tell you how annoying mine was?

This woman calls me forty times, right, in a row...

trying to get ahold of Bob.

Well, he's out of town.

I don't know why I thought you were married.

I can't remember who told me that.

We've been together for five years, so we might as well be.

So, are you happy?

Oh, am I happy with Claire?

Oh, yes, very much so. Of course.

So, how did you two meet?

Sorry, I don't mean to pry.

No, no, it's OK.

We met because I was her boss.

And she was working for me-- or with me.

She was the art director.

She doesn't work with me anymore.

So, what about you? No husband?

I was engaged in London to a guy named Jonathan.

It was supposed to happen next month...

but as it got closer, I just started thinking...

that I was doing it for the wrong reasons.

What are the right reasons?

I don't know.

So what?

What what?

What--what--what happened to the fiancé?

I told him that I wasn't ready.

I left him in London...

and now I'm running around town with some young guy.

That was quick.

Yeah, well, it's nothing serious.

He's cute, he's young, and I'm just having a little fun.

So, maybe we should all get together sometime.

You know, go out with three couples.

Well, you know, Thea and Miles want us all...

to come to dinner next week, if that works for you.

That sounds fun.

Unless you think it might be awkward.

Awkward? No, it'll be fun.

Your hair looks great, Thea.

Yeah, I've never seen your natural color.

Oh, it's not natural. I added dye.

-Beige. -Miles hates it.

I didn't say I hated it. I like it.

Reminds of the pleather in my grandparents' Lincoln.

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Well, I think it looks very nice.

Thank you, Claire.

So, Sam says you're an actor.

Yeah, man. Yeah, that's my thing.

I'm not really workin' right now, though.

I'm just kind of layin' low.

I'm not really into the whole fame and success thing.

You know, I saw that movie you made.

I thought it was pretty cool that you made that shit.

Thanks.

I loved it. I thought it was great.

Thank you.

You know the Times reviewer guy?

What a fucking moron. I mean...

obviously he hadn't even seen the movie, right?

All critics should be brought to a pulp...

and converted to paper.

Hear, hear.

Thank you for saying that.

So, are you working on anything new, or...

I was, but...

What happened?

When you're working on a movie...

there's a time before it actually begins when you're--

you know, it's just ripe with possibilities.

Is that what they say? Is it "rife" or is it "ripe"?

"Rife"? What the hell is "rife"?

I could never understand "rife."

It means in widespread use, prevalent, abundant.

It comes from the old English.

Very old. Very, very, very old.

Do you really want to hear this?

Because I must sound like a pompous hyp--

Really? Well...

well, in the beginning, it's just--

anything is possible...

and it's really exciting.

But then, you know, as the production begins...

there's more and more compromises...

until eventually nothing is possible...

and, you know, it's only disappointing.

I just--I realized I wasn't cut out for that.

I just wanted to do a more personal kind of film...

and I just realized that...

I don't know what I realized.

Nothing, I guess.

So, what do you do now?

Advertising. I'm in commercials.

Oh, yeah? Anything we've seen?

Oh, probably not, no.

Actually, Coles did all those "Taco Man" spots.

Oh, "Drop that taco"?

"Drop that taco"? We love those!

I love those!

Thank you.

Did you know "rife"?

I didn't know it came from the old English.

I knew "rife." I didn't know that.

You didn't know "rife." You're full of shit.

Nobody did. When I first brought it up...

everyone was totally confounded.

Except Tommy.

Right, but nobody else knew it.

I could sense it. It was like a bond.

Actually, I think Miles might've known "rife"...

and he was just being polite.

That's what it was.

It was impolite, what that kid Tommy did.

It was as if he was just waiting to jump in...

and make a fool out of me.

Old English, my ass!

He was just making that shit up.

You're crazy, you know that?

I'm lookin' it up.

You're a maniac!

Oh, yeah? In what sense of the word?

As in born and bred in Maine?

No, as in crazy, as in stark raving lunatic.

As in stark raving naked?

What does it say?

What did it say?

Whatever. It was rude.

You're right about one thing-- Sam can definitely do better.

He just seemed like a boob, you know?

And she was really sweet. I liked all of them a lot.

Thea seemed good.

I liked her husband. I thought he was gonna be a prick.

He totally looked like a prick, didn't he?

Then he turned out to be really nice.

Whatever happened that you guys all lost touch?

You know how those things are.

So, was it strange after all this time?

Well, it just seems like there's a part of you...

that's still really drawn to Sam.

-Don't be ridiculous. -Oh, come on, honey.

I saw the way you were looking at her.

And I think it's perfectly normal. I mean--

It's nothing, OK? It was just weird.

I haven't seen her in ten years. It was just weird, is all.

Do you remember a long time ago...

when you and l were first getting together...

and we had a conversation about other people we'd been with?

I think we were drunk...

but you said something that I never forgot.

You said you don't believe in love.

We were drunk, and I was being melodramatic.

I don't think so.

I think there was something really telling about that.

You said that you believed in love once...

but that you'd learned your lesson.

And you said it was Sam.

You know, now you're the one who's being melodramatic.

I'm not. And I'm not upset.

I'm just saying that it seems normal...

that you would feel weird seeing her, that's all.

I mean... I can even accept...

that you might still have certain feelings for her.

You know, you really gotta stop this.

Why? I'm not saying anything crazy.

I'm not getting angry...

and I feel like things are gonna be fine.

I'm just trying to let you know that it's OK, you know?

I trust you.

And I trust us.

And I like your friends.

-I'm fine. -OK...

but I'm telling you that you're crazy...

if you think there's anything going on with me and Sam.

I don't know. I felt bad, you know?

He's sweet, but what are you gonna do?

Hold on. It's the door.

-Who's there? -It's Coles.

Coles, hi.

I'll be down--I'm coming down. Just wait.

-Thea? -You gotta go?

Coles is here.

What the fuck is Coles doing there?

-I don't know. -I do.

I'll call you back.

OK. Make sure you ask him about the weekend.

Yeah, yeah, I'll ask him.

Surprise.

Come in.

Thea says hello.

Oh. What, did you just call her?

No, I was on the phone with her when you buzzed.

Oh, right, yeah.

-So, come up. -Sure.

She wanted me to ask you if you and Claire...

wanted to come out to the beach next weekend.

They have a place out there. She, Miles and I are all going.

If you and Claire--

Next weekend? Yeah, that sounds fun. Sure.

I mean, I'll have to ask to make sure...

but it should be fine, yeah.

Can I get you something? Tea, coffee?

Tea would be great.

So, to what do I owe this surprise visit?

I don't know. Just wanted to see you.

I've been thinking about you, and...I don't know.

The other night was really nice.

It was, yeah.

Claire's great.

Tommy seems cool. He's cute. What is he, like, eighteen?

-I know. Don't say it. -I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

It's OK. I got rid of him.

What happened?

It was only a matter of time.

The first time we hung out, we went to a movie...

and just hearing where he laughed...

I knew it wasn't gonna last.

I just thought it'd be more fun.

Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like...

if we had managed to stay together.

We would've made each other miserable.

Oh, my God. We were really fucked up.

-We were a mess. -The whole thing was a mess.

We thought we were having such a wild, fun time with Thea.

We didn't have a clue!

We were so mean to each other. Do you remember?

I was so angry. I was such an asshole.

It was like we were animals...

Iike we had no concept of control.

We just did whatever we wanted to, no matter what.

If it were then, we'd be on the floor right now...

fucking like rabbits.

Fuck.

What?

I was going to call you, actually.

What for?

For two things--

to ask you about the weekend...

and also because I'm buying a car...

and I wanted to ask you about what you thought I should get.

You know...

But then, I didn't want to bother you.

No, it's fine. I don't mind. What were you thinking?

I don't know. I was just gonna go down...

and drive a few different things.

-I'll go with you. -You don't have to do that.

It'll be fun. I want to do it.

I guess I should get going.

I...

should go.

-What? -Nothing.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Do you mind if I change this? It's bugging me.

OK. Sure.

-Are you OK? -Yeah, I'm fine.

Hey.

What's on your mind, baby?

Nothing.

I like it!

-Well, we'll take it. -Sold.

Sold.

I can't believe Thea's married.

You and Claire have been together...

for five years, you said?

It was five years August first.

You even know the date.

When we were together, you weren't the kind of guy...

who kept track of stuff like that.

It's almost like I'm sensitive.

It's like you're married.

Yeah, I guess so.

Do you want to come in?

Coles, it's so nice.

Yeah, we've been here about four years.

Can I get you something?

-Tea, or... -Yeah, sure.

Maybe something herbal?

I just can't tonight. But thank you so much.

-Hi. What time is it? -It's just after 4:00.

I left work early. I was just trying...

to talk Sam into joining us for dinner.

I would love to, but I'm already running late.

Sam was just leaving.

I'll walk you out.

Well, next time, then.

And next weekend, right?

Yeah.

I'm sorry about all of this.

All what?

You mean, surprising me? It's nothing.

I wish you could stay for dinner.

-Well, I'll see you soon. -lt was good to see you.

What?

Nothing.

Just eat me.

Taco man! Just eat it!

I still say...classic rock.

But Rick, I don't give a shit what you say.

You're joking, right?

What gives you that impression?

Just fuckin' with you, Rick.

I love classic rock. It's so classic.

This guy kills me. You really had me goin', Coles.

I thought I was gonna have to fire your ass.

Seriously. I think we might be...

Iosing track of our demographic, so I'm gonna check the reports.

-I'll get back to you. -OK, you do that, Coles.

You get back to us. We believe in you, champ!

-Theadora's. Good afternoon. -Thea.

Come on.

-Coles. -Shut up.

I said one drink. You're so bad.

Just a little bit.

-So I'm a little bad. -Yes.

So, what happened with the blond?

The shit turned green.

I love Sam.

I know.

I mean, I love Claire, but I'm still in love with Sam.

You think that's stupid after all these years?

No.

Did she tell you what happened?

Oh, man.

Did you tell Claire about it?

There's no room for honesty in a healthy relationship.

You guys still want to go to the beach this weekend?

What's goin' on, Coles?

What do you mean?

I mean, what's going on with Sam?

Those guys are picking us up in less than an hour...

and if you're gonna act like this all weekend...

maybe we should just tell 'em we can't go.

I'm not acting like anything.

I'm just asking you to talk to me. Coles?

Coles, tell me what's going on.

I can take it.

There's nothin' to tell.

Do you want me to call them?

Because maybe this is a really bad idea.

No, I want to go.

I think this is a really good idea.

I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

You know what I'm thinking?

Thinking? You?

My God!

What do you think?

Thea, something's come up, and I don't think I'll be able...

to make it out there this weekend, but you all have fun...

and I'll call you when I get a chance.

That's a shame.

Hope everything's all right.

What?

This is spectacular.

I'm sorry.

Let's just try to have a nice time, OK?

OK.

So, who do you gotta fuck to get a place like this?

Gotta get him.

I was one of those pathetic guys...

cryin' in his beer after work, making lists of reasons...

why I could never own my own place.

Honey, you weren't that bad.

I was a loser until you walked into my life.

Shut up.

Until you showed up and started crackin' that whip.

No, I just did paperwork, managerial stuff.

But ultimately...

it was all his idea. It was his big dream.

She basically gave me so much shit...

that finally I got my shit together.

No, I couldn't have done it without her.

That's true.

I know.

Well, he did name a restaurant after you.

Thank you.

He did.

The five years we have had

Have been such good times

I still love you

Now I think it's time

I lived my life on my own

I guess it's just what I must do

Don't--

You know I can't believe it

When you say that you won't see me

Bullshit! This is bullshit!

You know I don't believe you

When you say that you don't need me

It's not too late to find

You think you've changed your mind

You'd better change it back or you will both be sorry

Don't you want me, baby?

Were you drunk tonight?

No, I just had a few drinks. Why do you ask?

I didn't think you were...

but you seemed a little out of hand.

What do you mean, out of hand?

I just mean that it was just a little weird...

the way you were touching Thea...

when you were telling the story about the bike.

When I was touching her arm?

Yeah. I mean, not just touching her arm, you know...

but the way you were touching it, it was weird.

I mean, it made me uncomfortable...

and it seemed like it made her and Miles uncomfortable, too.

You're crazy. I was touching her arm. I was telling a story.

I would've touched Miles's arm the same way...

if he'd been sitting next to me.

I don't know. It just--

It seemed weird, and it seemed like...

it made everyone uncomfortable.

I was just surprised that you didn't pick up on it.

Because you're usually so perceptive...

which is why I was wondering if you were drunk.

I mean, you two did sleep together once.

You know?

You know what?

I'm sure it was nothing.

I'm sure that they probably just thought you were a little drunk.

Good night.

You see, that's the thing.

Just as we're beginning to have a really nice time together...

she's gotta make me feel bad and play on my insecurities.

She's just saying it because she cares about you.

I don't know.

I really like Claire.

I think she's cool.

I don't think so.

What?

Are you thinkin' about Sam again?

Why does it all have to be so complicated?

I have to tell Claire that I'm in love with Sam.

Otherwise, I'm not being fair to her.

Yeah, I think you should tell Claire.

But don't pretend you're doing it for her sake...

because you're not.

They're probably at the beach or something.

Right. Why don't you stay here?

OK. Meet me back here?

Bye, sweetie.

-Oh, yeah. -Nice.

Yeah, baby!

I love this song.

It reminds me of college.

You OK there, boss?

Yeah, I'm good. I'll be in in a minute.

I'll be right back.

He's always flippin'.

Sam?

You're not gonna believe what I just did.

What?!

Yeah. You see? It's true.

Oh, my God!

Sam.

Sam just got married.

She and Jonathan went to Vegas and got married.

God and Elvis. That's awesome.

After the conversation that Coles and I had last week...

I just realized that I was being silly.

And so, when Jonathan showed up and suggested it...

I just thought, "What the hell? Why not?"

So we eloped and went to Vegas.

Where's the lucky man?

He's checking into a hotel and coming back.

We were going to stay the whole weekend...

but we changed our minds. I don't know.

There was something about eloping to Vegas...

that was kind of exciting and wild...

and after the ceremony, when we went back to our room...

it just seemed a little cheap and depressing...

so I thought I would rather be here with my friends.

I can't wait for you to meet him.

I'm so happy for you!

Well, congratulations. We should celebrate.

Why?

Because I love you.

Why now?

Why not?

I just feel a little like a consolation prize, I guess.

What are you talking about?

It's not like we haven't talked about it before.

Exactly. You were never ready.

It just seems sudden.

-Sudden's romantic. -This is not romantic.

Sure it is. We got beach. What more do you want?

I'm gonna tell you something, OK?

And as I do, I need you to do something for me.

-What do you want me to do? -Don't interrupt me.

Because I don't want you to throw me off, OK?

-You promise? -I promise.

But is all this really necessary?

Shut up and listen to me. I know you fucked Sam last week.

What are you talking about?

Shut your mouth.

-Claire-- -Shut your fucking mouth!

Now I'm gonna tell you what happened.

And then I'm gonna tell you how I feel about it...

and you are just gonna sit there and listen, OK?

Now, last week I got a call from Kim's...

that your tapes had arrived.

So I was really excited...

and I was gonna get home early and surprise you.

But you were already there.

I know it sounds crazy...

but I felt relief.

For years I've wanted to start our family...

and you've never known what you want.

I was standing in the hallway...

throwing your tapes down the incinerator...

when I suddenly realized it was like a blessing.

Finally, you were making a decision about what you want.

So, I turned around...

and I walked back into the apartment, ready to face it.

But I missed it.

I thought that if I waited...

you would have to make a decision.

So I waited.

But you are such a fucking pussy, Coles.

You wouldn't even give me that.

You fucked Sam, and you still didn't make a decision.

Sam did.

It's like you robbed me of the one thing I was hoping to get...

out of this whole fucked up mess.

You still haven't chosen me.

You're, like, settling for me.

Claire.

Don't--

Not a fuckin' word out of you.

So, that's where I'm at.

And this is what you're gonna do.

You are not gonna apologize to me...

because that's like an admission...

and even though I saw it happen...

I don't ever want to hear you admit to it.

So, you're just gonna say nothing.

I know that you're sorry.

And in your spineless, pathetic way...

that's as much as you can give me.

I just have to decide if I can live with it.

I love you, Claire.

And I want us to be together.

I guess I'm gonna have to think about it.

You want me to fall on my knees?

Fuck you, Coles.

What do you want me to do? I'm on my knees.

Claire.

-All right. -Which bag is it in?

The garment bag. You don't need to change...

into other clothes. You look good.

Jonathan, this is Coles.

Hi. It's a pleasure.

Likewise.

Well, let's go inside.

That kind of takes the fun out of going to Vegas, doesn't it?

That's what I thought, but Jonathan thought...

the whole Vegas aesthetic was a little tacky.

I liked the idea at first. It seemed fun...

but when it came down to it, it just felt inappropriate.

I guess I'm just old-fashioned.

Even so, the chapel, it was all pink and red.

So, what about you two?

Sam says you've been together for five years.

Isn't that when they put the screws to you?

We'll see.

I'd like to thank both of you for a truly wonderful weekend.

Our pleasure.

And I'd like to propose a toast.

This is to Sam and Jonathan.

To a happy, healthy marriage and a beautiful life together.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Cheers.