Original subtitles

There you go.

- Evening. - Good night.

- Hope you enjoyed it. - It was lovely.

- Coming for a drink? - No, I can't.

- Enjoy yourself. - See you later.

I was 29 years old.

I'd known Vincent for 10 years, we'd been married for five.

We loved each other, but something was missing.

We wanted a baby.

I thought we said we'd try without.

- Tonight? - Are you ready?

- Yeah. Are you sure? - Yeah!

Right.

- How does that feel? - It feels...great.

- Great? - Yeah.

''So you want to have children? Things to consider...''

''Remember that sex is fun.''

- Come on, Rosie! - Oh, God, Vincent! Cramp!

I've got a cramp in my leg!

''Diet is important. Iron-rich vegetables

''are good for sperm production.''

Is that all right?

''Heat kills sperm.

''It is bad for men's testicles to be too warm.''

Ooh!

''Feng shui. Some people believe the arrangement of your room

''affects the chances of conception.''

This isn't working.

- How long have you been trying? - A year.

- How old are you? - 29.

34.

Do either of you have children ?

- No. - No.

Have either of you had sexually transmitted diseases?

- No. - Do vaginal warts count?

That's fine.

It was a long time ago.

How often do you make love?

When we stopped using contraception, it was every day.

- Now it's once a week. - Twice.

Well, once or twice.

We have the technology.

Come on, come on, you can make it.

Swim, you little bastards, swim.

There could be hormonal problems, ovarian problems,

damage to the Fallopian tubes or uterus,

but failure to ovulate accounts for over 30% of infertility.

There could be a problem with the sperm,

maybe testicular failure, low sperm count,

blockage of the vas deferens, immunological problems,

retrograde ejaculation.

We introduced your sperm to eggs from a hamster,

and it fused with the hamster eggs.

- Great. - The problem seems to be,

that few sperm get through the vaginal mucus.

Can anything be done?

Keep on trying to conceive naturally. That might work,

or there are infertility treatments.

- What sorts of treatments? - In vitro fertilization

- or donor insemination. - What's that?

Using another man's sperm to fertilize your eggs.

No chance.

We'd have no problem finding a donor.

Not with another man.

- It would be yours! - No, yours and another man's!

- Whose? - Precisely!

- The baby would never know. - I'd know!

Vincent Boyd. Yes, Irene, she's here.

No, no news, unless you're interested in hamsters.

That was the day Benoit arrived.

As a teenager, I was in love with him.

He was clever, funny, romantic and French.

And he never disappointed me, because I never met him.

Is the purpose of your visit business or pleasure?

Er, pleasure.

Definitely pleasure. I've come to visit her.

She's a bit young.

This is the last photo she sent me. Years ago. We were pen pals.

Ah. I had a pen pal once. It didn't last long: German.

Couldn't speak English.

Boo!

Doesn't matter, as long as it's a break.

- Can I help? - I'm looking for somebody.

- Aren't we all, love? - Her name's Rosie O'Neil.

Oh, her. She moved out ages ago.

This is the last address I have for her.

Do you know where she lives now?

- No, we lost touch. - Yeah, me, too.

- I'm Benoit. - Pleased to me you, Bernie.

Pleased to meet you. Have you any idea where I can find her?

You can try the waterfront.

She was working there last I heard.

Mrs Boyd... Nice to have you back.

I'm sorry, Mr Ormonde, I was at the doctor's.

Again? Nothing chronic, I hope.

- No. - That's good.

Then, in the future, do it in your own time. Deirdre.

# You take the high road or you take the low road

# But go back to Scotland, Mr Ormonde! #

Smile, love, it may never happen!

Oh, that's what I'm afraid of.

When we got married,

Vincent left the police to work for my dad.

He did it for me.

It was a mistake.

Me and Irene, we're worried about Rosie.

You're worried? Don't worry.

I'm doing enough worrying for everyone.

We're her parents. That's what parents do.

Still, I want you to know, son,

whatever happens, there's always a job for you here.

- Rosie Boyd? - Yes, how can I help?

Benoit?

Incredible! What the hell are you doing here?

I came to see you. I promised, remember?

Yeah, I remember. Jesus!

That's awful. Did I knit that?

Yes.

- Have you just arrived? - In Belfast? Yes.

- Where are you staying? - I don't know yet.

No, of course, you must stay at our place.

The art gallery is on the next floor.

We're showing an exhibition entitled Our Bodies, Ourselves.

Deirdre!

Sorry. I finish at six. Can you come back?

They're weird about us having friends around.

It important that we get this thematic...

- It follows on. - Yes, it's thematic.

Then we carry on round...here...to the series...

Then we've got the hanging installations in the middle.

I like this here.

- Please don't touch it. - OK, right.

There's lots to see. We've also got installations over here.

We've got the oppression, the hands-on oppression of men.

- Where are your bags? - I left them at Cathy's.

- Oh, right. - It was the last address I had.

Right. So, what have you been doing?

Well, you know, this and that.

- For ten years? - Yes.

- And you? - The same.

- I got married. - I know.

- How? - Cathy told me.

Oh, right. Right.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

I'll just turn off the alarm.

Right.

This is the living room.

It's a bit messy.

- The kitchen. - Yes.

- Um, utility room. Bathroom. - Yes.

Box room, and this is our spare room,

- where you'll be staying. - Great.

- Flowers. - Yeah.

# See the stone set in your eyes

# See the thorn twist in your side

# And I wait for you

# With or without you #

- Who is he? - His name is Benoit.

- He was a pen pal. - You've never mentioned him.

It was ages ago. I'd forgotten about him till he showed up.

- He wants to stay. - We never have people to stay.

Vincent, what could I say?

Benoit! Uh, this is my husband, Vincent.

- Hello. - All right?

Yeah.

- Dinner in ten minutes? - OK.

That's my dressing gown.

- What did you write about? - Everything.

I remember the one you wrote when Bono died.

- Oh... - Bono dead?

God, no. Not THE Bono. Bono the bunny. He got run over.

- Oh, right. Bono the bunny. - Yeah.

I kept all the letters you sent me.

- This is the last photo. - Oh, the state of me.

- Must be about when we met. - Just before.

We stopped writing just before I met you.

- Why did you stop? - I can't remember.

- You never met? - No.

Tant que j'en t'aurai pas vu, je me sentirai perdu.

Jusqu'a ce jour fatale, ma vie n'est que banale.

- Tu parles encore Francaise? - Pas beaucoo.

''Beaucoup.'' ''Beau cou'' means ''nice arse''.

Right! That was the big day.

- You were a policeman then? - Yeah.

- Want to see the wedding video? - Yes.

Salt. Vincent...you need to take Benoit around to get his things.

- Where? - I left them at Cathy's.

- Do I have to? - Somebody's got to go.

- It's not a problem, I can go. - No, it's all right.

Tell me, is there something wrong between Rosie and Cathy?

Cathy has never forgiven Rosie for marrying me.

- Why? - 'Cause she wanted to.

- You mean, you and Cathy? - Yeah, and me and Rosie.

A ''Menage á trois'' as you say.

No, that would mean you and Rosie AND Cathy lived together.

I wish.

Look who's here... Bill and Ben.

- Come in. All right, Bernie? - All right.

- Hello, Cathy. - It's been a long time.

Uh-huh.

I put your things in my bedroom.

OK.

Oh. I get them.

Why are French men always so cute?

- How have you been? - OK.

- You look older. - We all do.

It doesn't help having grey hairs.

Me? Where?

Look.

- Just there. - What?

Oh, it looks very distinguished.

- Ready? - Yes.

- Here, give us that. - No, that's OK.

- Got everything? - Yes.

Cheers, Cathy.

- Saturday at four OK? - What?

Sort those grey bits for you.

Here. In case you forget.

Cheers.

- Bye. - Bye.

- How long's he staying? - I don't know.

A few days maybe.

- How was Cathy? - Hasn't changed much.

- Getting any good ideas? - No.

''Before insemination, you can request specific hair colour,

''height, complexion, blood type, ethnic or religious group.''

- That will please your daddy. - Oh, Vincent.

- Doesn't sound very romantic. - No, it isn't.

- Is it what you want? - No, I don't want it.

Not yet, anyway.

Night-night. Sleep tight.

- They get much? - TV and video.

Burglars. What would we do without them?

We should get them to leave our card.

How's Rosie? She never called her mother back.

- I did tell her. - I wouldn't worry your head.

It's amazing what they can do with your plumbing these days.

I don't want men looking at my work

- if they don't look properly. - I'm sorry,

but the season's entitled ''Art For All''.

Don't tell me about art,

and I won't tell you about standing behind a desk.

- All right? - Right. Have a nice day.

That's better, Mrs Boyd.

It takes 70 muscles to frown, but 14 to smile.

How many does it take to strangle someone?

- Ahh. - Ah.

- What's the article about? - No idea.

I only read the ones on sex.

Freeze!

Turn around, slowly.

Brian, you bastard! You bastard!

Hello, there, Vincent.

Well, Sherlock, any suspects yet?

Take him in for questioning.

- Hey, Sammy! - How are you, Neil?

All right.

- How's your beautiful wife? - The best.

You fancy coming for a round of golf on Sunday?

- We've got someone staying. - Vinnie, come on.

A few pars, a few pints. What do you say?

I have to check with Rosie.

We know where to find you, then. Under Rosie's thumb.

- Fuck off! - Some other time, eh?

Bollocks. I'll be there.

That's the Vincent we know and love. See you later.

- Good man, Vincent. - Cheers, lads.

I hope you enjoy the concert.

It finishes with the Schubert string quintet.

Oh, really? That's one of my favourite pieces.

- Yes. It always makes me cry. - Oh, really?

It's mine, too. At least it was.

Here's your ticket and programme.

I've got to finish off, but I'll join you later.

- All right. - See you.

Your ticket, sir. You're in there to the right.

Did you ever play that game when you put items on a tray,

take one away and then guess what's missing?

I was never good at it. I wanted to kick myself

when I realised I knew what it was all along.

- That's the Lagan. - That is the Lagan.

And that is Harland and Wolf.

And that is Cave Hill.

That bit on the end's Napoleon's nose. Can you see it?

When the light shines on it, you can see the eyes and the nose.

- Why Napoleon? - God knows.

Maybe because he's French.

Your noses are a different shape, aren't they?

Exactly!

This used to be the bus station where I had my first kiss.

Not very romantic.

Those over there are the Royal Courts of Justice.

Just behind, there's the College of Knowledge,

where I was going when I lived with Cathy.

- Is that when you met Vincent? - Yeah.

First time was in Lavery's. It's behind there, you can't see it.

The three of us used to go about together.

You don't see her any more?

She thinks I stole Vincent from her.

- Did you? - No.

They'd split up, but we used to see each other just as friends.

Then Vincent and me started seeing each other by ourselves.

- You know... - More than friends.

So, what ever happened to Caroline?

- We split up. - Oh. When?

A month ago.

Oh, my God, were you together for ten years?

Yes.

- Married? - No.

- Kids? - No.

''You were the first person I fell in love.''

It's written here.

I can't believe you got these letters. Sad bastard.

''You give me faith in the opposite sex.''

''Judith and I went to a fancy dress party last night.

''The theme was, 'What you wore when the Titanic went down.'''

''Thank God you have showed me that: A - you have a brain,

- ''and B - you like women.'' - Torture!

- Let's talk about this. - I was 16!

Hit the fucker!

- 'That's it!' - Good night, Vienna.

'What a punch!'

- Do you think I'm going grey? - Where?

My armpits. Where do you think?

- I haven't noticed. - My dad went grey.

- Your dad went bald. - Thanks.

I've been thinking. It's time I changed jobs.

What's wrong with the one you've got?

Do you want a list?

Don't let Storming Ormonde get you wound up.

He's only jealous of your girly figure.

No, you know we've got to wait till next week.

We don't need to have sex.

Don't start something you can't finish.

- What's wrong? - I just don't feel like it, OK?

- Is it the golf? - What? Please turn that off.

You don't want me to play?

- It's not a good time. - They asked me.

- You could've said no. - I'll put them off.

- Don't. - I insist.

I want you to play. Please turn out the light.

- Why are you angry? - I'm not angry!

- Yes, your lips quiver. - No!

- There! It quivered. - Shite!

I have to go to the toilet!

It's not as if you like playing golf.

- Yes, I do! - No.

It's an excuse to wear silly clothes and be with the boys.

Just join the Orange Order and have done with it!

- You don't have to cook for us. - I'd like to.

- Are you ready to talk? - What about?

Caroline. Come on, what happened?

We kept fighting. It seemed better not to.

- So you just split up? - Yes.

Did you leave her, or did she leave you?

- It's just a question. - It was something we agreed.

Have you spoken since you left?

She doesn't want to until I decide what to do.

We all have to make choices. Red or white?

- Er, red? - There. See? Simple.

Apple. Onions. Whoa, whoa!

- Beans. - Beans.

Oh, I didn't know you could do that.

- You're not juggling the wine! - The most vital ingredient.

- Is this for the sauce? - No, for us.

Oh, right. Good.

OK, the beans.

Oh. Prince Charles and Diana. Just like you and Vincent.

An old family heirloom.

- Changed your mind? - All right?

- Thought you were closed. - I am, officially.

But I can always fit you in.

Vincent still says that nothing happened between them that day.

He felt guilty because something MIGHT have happened.

Another bottle? We got two!

Rosie!

You do that and I'll do this.

The sausages. Careful, it's hot.

- Rosie! - Salad...

- Hi, how are you? - All right. And you?

- Would you like some wine? - No, thanks.

- I got a surprise for you. - Oh, it's my birthday!

- Oh, a surprise! - Have I been behaving myself?

You're not serious?

- Might cheer you up. - I don't need cheering up.

- Just like Bono. - Bono was black!

I'll have him resprayed.

- I know a recipe for rabbit. - Shh.

I'll take him back.

No, I'll think of a name for him.

Vincent! Dinner's ready.

All right.

- Nice car. - Not bad, eh?

Fixing her up. Sort of a hobby of mine.

I'd let you try, but it's only insured for me.

I can't drive. I never learned.

Rosie said she would teach me once.

Rosie says a lot she doesn't mean.

Yes.

I know her better than you. She's my wife.

Dinner's ready.

So, what's the plan for tonight?

We could eat out.

- It's too salty. - No, no.

- It's a bit dry. - No, it's just different.

- Would you like some spinach? - No, thank you.

Help yourself, sweetheart.

We haven't been out in ages. What would you like to do?

We could go to a ceilidh. What?

- The diddly-dee stuff? - You don't like Irish music?

It's like a tourist thing.

It's not just that. It's more of a Catholic thing.

We've never been to one.

And with Vincent having been a policeman.

He's not a policeman any more.

- Vincent? - I'm not sure.

I suppose we could always go ourselves.

- Just you and me? - Mm-hm.

I'll come along. Might learn something.

All right?

- You're light on your feet. - You should try.

Right. Come on.

- Are you serious? - Deadly.

When in Rome.

Your woman's a bit of all right.

- She's not my woman. - Ah, well, man can dream, eh?

# But the sea's too wide, I can't swim over

# Nor have I the wings to fly

# But if I can find me a handsome boatman

# To ferry me over to your love and die #

Rosie tells me you're very musical.

- I play the clarinet. - Rosie played the clarinet.

Murdered it, more like.

At least we know what she was doing in her room.

Did she say anything nice about us?

She talked about you all.

She worried very much when Lillian gets pregnant so young.

There's more tatties in the kitchen.

Are my boxes still in the loft?

- I never touched them. - Only junk up there.

To you, maybe. I want to try to find your letters.

- Mum, can I leave the table? - No, finish your dinner.

What do you think of Northern Ireland, Beni?

Benoit, Mummy. Benoit.

Don't contradict your mother, Rosie. Not at the dinner table.

- Very nice. Not like on TV. - Ah! TV.

You'll only see Republicans on TV. No one speaks to us.

Who's us?

Those who built this country, made it what it is.

If you'd bought it in a shop, you'd ask for your money back.

Don't you two start. More gravy, Beni?

- Michael, I told you! - Gravy, Terry?

- I don't mind Catholics. - ''Some are my best customers.''

- Rosie. - Forget it.

- I'll get a cloth. - Sit down, Mother.

- Terry, you go. - I'm eating!

Go!

- Can I go? - Sit still!

- Let him go! - Leave the kids to me!

- You don't know what it's like. - What is that supposed to mean?

- Rosie. - Keep out. This is family.

I thought I was family.

We can't say anything to her. She flies off the handle.

- Potatoes, anyone? - Shut up, Sarah.

You are just like the rest, Lillian.

Wherever we go, people say,

''Oh, dear, no kiddies yet. There must be a problem.''

They stare at us and wonder whose fault it is. His or mine?

- Not in front of the children! - No wonder we don't go out.

That's enough!

We have a visitor.

Families, huh?

Come on, you two.

I've got to go. Thanks for dinner, Irene.

Our pleasure.

- How's the handicap? - Dread to think.

Those trousers are a handicap.

- Why don't you take Beni? - I'm not sure.

- I can't play golf. - Neither can Vincent.

- You can caddy for him. - Might as well.

You wanna come?

Shite!

Benoit, did you know you were caddying for Captain Hook?

- See you on the green. - Don't worry, we'll wait.

He loves going to his in-laws.

- He has no family of his own? - No, his parents are dead.

He's a brother what lives in England.

He's not the same since he started working for Sammy.

He was doing OK in the force, happy as a pig in shite.

Should never have left.

He's what's known as a Jaffa - orange and seedless.

Leave him alone.

- What were they saying? - Nothing.

I left the police for Rosie, no other reason.

I understand.

My brother and his wife took a long time to have children.

- It's common. Don't worry. - Really?

Yeah.

He just had to go to the doctor with a sample of his...

..you know.

Hey, the green is up that way. All right?

Try the pitch and putt up the road.

- He's a lovely boy, that Beni. - Benoit, Mummy, Benoit.

So, what did the doctors say?

- Lie back and think of Ulster. - Rosie.

Did you think about that IVF?

Not yet. Not really, anyway.

Don't wait too long. You're no spring chicken.

I'm only 30.

That's what I mean.

# Love, love will tear us apart again

# Do, do-do-do, do-do, do #

Maybe you should slow down.

I know all the police around here.

They're mates. Well, some of them.

If you could drive, what car would you buy?

I don't feel well.

- Wanna see my dream car? - Are we nearly home?

Come on, I'll show you.

Vincent!

Oh!

Benoit! Aaah!

# Love, love will tear us apart again... #

Four and a half litres.

286 brake horsepower.

0 to 60 in seven seconds.

155 miles per hour.

It's even got five onboard computers.

You have to take it to NASA for an oil change.

Beautiful.

Your brother...the one with the... What happened?

They have twins. Can we go now, please?

- I feel like a leper out here. - Yeah.

So, what's happening?

- All systems go. - Wa-hey! Get shagging.

I need to pop out. Be back after dinner, all right?

Aye, aye, course it is, son. Enjoy yourself!

Can I have a shag break on Monday afternoons?

- I often feel randy then. - Who'd shag you?

I need to be back at two.

We should be there by 20 past. We'll have 20 minutes.

Yeah.

- You wanna wait till tonight? - No, it's better now.

Benoit will be there this evening.

Unless you plan to go out again.

God, no, I felt terrible this morning.

- How do you feel now? - Still hung over.

Great.

Benoit? Benoit?

- All right? - Yeah, all right.

- 20 minutes and counting. - I don't like that.

- You love it. - I don't!

- You love it! - Get off!

- This should be so exciting... - Yeah.

- if we didn't want a baby. - Uh-huh.

- I love your body. - Good.

- And I love you. - Good.

- I used to love sex. - Do you want to do this or not?

I'm sorry. OK?

Maybe we should forget about it.

About what?

Maybe we don't need kids. It was fun before, wasn't it?

Yeah.

- More fun than now? - Yeah.

- Why are we doing it? - 'Cause we both want children.

I'm gonna get washed. I gotta go.

'A teenage girl will have a heart transplant

'against her will. It was ruled that, when a donor is found,

'the operation will be carried out at a hospital in Newcastle.

'The 15-year-old, known as M, refused the operation,

'as she wasn't happy with the procedure.

'An intruder has been arrested at Buckingham Palace.

'The man scaled the gates

'moments before the arrival of Prince Andrew last night.'

There you go.

You're looking tired. How are you feeling?

All right.

- Is your husband with you? - No, he couldn't make it.

Have you discussed the treatments?

Er...not really. We've been a bit busy.

Got a friend staying. From France.

Oh, that's nice.

It can be stressful for anyone in your situation.

There are counsellors trained in this area.

I'd be happy to give you some names.

Thanks, but I'm not sure.

I need to talk to Vincent about it.

Right.

You'll get the results tomorrow.

- All right? - Bye-bye.

I have an announcement to make.

Oh, yeah?

I'm going to stay here.

- Where? - In Belfast.

- For how long? - I don't know.

I've started looking for a job.

When I get one, I'll find an apartment.

What about your job in Auxerre?

I was working in the post office and now they have a machine.

- Why didn't you tell us? - Oh, I didn't...you know...

- You should...teach me golf. - Not a very good idea.

''I have an announcement to make.''

- He can't stay here! - Not so loud.

- You'll have to talk to him. - OK, I will.

- We'll have to set a deadline! - Jesus! Have you no sympathy?

He's lost his girlfriend. He's lost his job.

Anyway, I'll talk to him. OK?

OK?

Good night!

'Benoit?

'Come to the waterfront for one o'clock.

'All right, see you then. Bye.'

Merde.

'The SDLP is due to meet at Stormont,

'and Gerry Adams has thrown his concerns into the mix.

'Colin Duncan reports: On his way from Belfast this morning,

'Mr Trimble urged the Government to take stock.

'I hope that the Government is, after the debate,

'reflecting what was said, and reflecting in a way which...'

Bunny?

Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny!

Hasta la vista, Bunny.

No, I cannot conduct without my baton!

I don't know how this happened.

Somebody has stolen it! I want the police!

Why don't you just use your finger?

You...are an idiot!

- Shall we get a new one? - I want my own!

Love isn't a tap you can turn on and off.

It's like a river that starts as rapids,

and ends up meandering its way to the sea.

Sometimes it dries up.

Sometimes it disappears underground.

- All right? - Tick-tock. Like clockwork.

I take back what I said about the Irish.

Sure. Excuse me.

I'm waiting for some personal attention.

- Mr Deacon, we're ready. - Coming.

Rosie, missing you already.

Mrs Boyd to reception. Your packet has arrived.

Mrs Boyd to reception. Thank you.

Won't keep you.

- You like working here? - I used to.

Now I just do it for the money.

That's what I thought about my job. Now I miss it.

Yeah, I'm sure. That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

- The post office? - No.

More about what you were saying about staying here.

- Are you serious? - Completely.

I've burned my bridges behind me.

Maybe it's good I lost my job and Caroline.

- Don't say that. - Maybe I'm very lucky.

It's a chance to start again. I always wanted to play music.

- Yeah? - Now I have the chance to try.

So, you've come all the way from France,

to play music in Belfast?

- At a ceilidh. - Even better.

Fantastic.

There's something Vincent wanted me to talk to you about.

'A staff announcement.

'Would Mrs Boyd return to reception?

-'Now.'[/I] - Now what?

- Right. Don't go away. - No, I'm staying.

- Where have you been? - On my lunch break.

I don't care if it's your lunch break.

On no account do you leave Miss Noolan on her own!

- It's OK... - Deirdre, be quiet!

- You know how busy we are... - I'm fine.

Deirdre! Mrs Boyd, are you listening?

You should stay until I return!

- You're here now. - Get on with your work!

O'Neil's Glaziers. Your pane's our pleasure. Yes, madam?

'Message for Mr Deacon in the conference suite.

'Your prostitute has arrived and is waiting in reception.'

Prostitute for Mr Dickie Deacon. Thank you.

'Message for Mr Zabrinska.'

Your baton has been located up your rectum.

'Baton up your rectum, Mr Zabrinska.

'Message for Mr Ormonde.'

# You take the high road or you take the low road

# But go back to Scotland, Mr Ormonde

# 'Cause I've had enough

# So you can stuff your job up your arse!

# You really are a shite, Mr Ormonde #

Right.

- What's happening? - I don't know.

It feels terrific. Come on! We've got to get out.

Mrs Boyd! Where the hell is she?

Right.

- Very good. Very good. - Smooth.

Whisky gets better as it gets older, unlike people.

When you're young, you think everything's possible.

Now what? You're an antique person?

I don't know.

I don't know... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I can take the kids...

- All right? - All right.

Hi, I've come about the window.

It's upstairs. Put the kettle on, Linda.

- Thanks, but I can't stay. - Not for you.

Are you going anywhere nice for holiday?

- Shit! - I'll get it.

Thanks.

Hello?

Yeah, hang on just a minute.

It's for you.

Ha-ha! You're under arrest!

You don't have to say anything,

but anything you do say...

More! More! More!

Are you all right?

Yeah?

Cup of tea?

Good.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Cathy!

Yah!

Yeeees!

''Dear Rosie, when I read your letter,

''I felt so close to you. I heard your voice talking.

''I wanted to answer straight away.''

Will you take Rosemary to be your wife?

Will you love her, comfort her honour and protect her,

and, forsaking all others,

be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

I will.

Rosemary, will you take Vincent to be your husband?

Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him,

and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him

as long as you both shall live?

I will.

To have and to hold from this day forward.

To have and to hold from this day forward.

- For better, for worse. - For better, for worse.

- For richer, for poorer. - For richer, for poorer.

- In sickness and in health. - In sickness and in health.

You've got to listen to this...

- I'm sorry. - No, no, don't be.

I haven't seen this in ages.

Ladies and gentlemen, they're about to cut the cake!

- Ready? - Ready.

The top layer should be kept for the christening of your child.

It's probably gone mouldy by now.

# Ah-haha-ha-ha

# I know this much is true

# Ah-haha-ha-ha

# I know this much is...

# ..true

# So true, funny how it seems

# Always in time, but never in line for dreams... #

No, Benoit, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- No, I'm sorry. - No, no. I'm sorry.

You should be sorry... No!

Jesus! Maybe it was a bad idea you coming here.

# I bought a ticket to the world

# But now I've come back again #

You used to come around when you were on duty.

You left your radio on the bedside table.

If I'm in a cab I start thinking about you.

Well, I don't have a radio any more, just a mobile phone.

I wear overalls instead of a uniform,

and I drive a Ford Transit instead of a Land Rover.

I don't care. You have the rest of your equipment.

Cathy, I can't do this. Cathy!

It was all too long ago, Cathy.

Hang on.

O'Neil's Glaziers. Your pane's...

- 'Is Vincent there?' - He's on a job. You dad's here.

I need Vincent. Where is he?

He's doing some job at a hairdresser's.

'When he gets back, I'll get him to...'

- Hello, Cathy Cuts, Linda sp... - 'Is Cathy there?'

She's upstairs with the glazier. Who's calling?

The glazier's wife!

Shit. Hold on, please.

Aow!

- Hello? - 'Is Vincent there?'

- Rosie? - 'Let me speak to my husband.'

Shit. Rosie, look...

You're an asshole, and always have been.

- You stupid fucker! - Rosie...

- Are you OK? - Yeah.

- You're going now? - Yes.

I should have never come. It's time to go.

I thought you wanted to live in Belfast.

No. I just wanted to be with you.

All right. Well, I'm coming with you.

I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have left the police.

- You shouldn't have left me. - What was I thinking?

What were you thinking with?

I could have been a detective, an inspector, but no.

What am I? A stupid, stupid fucker.

A grey-haired glazier for Sammy O'Neil and Co.

I'm just a ''Co''.

There's more than two of you there, isn't there?

I'm not even a full ''Co''. Jesus!

- That's two. - What?

Taking the Lord's name in vain and then adultery.

You've broken two commandments in one day.

I'd better go before I commit a third.

What about my window?

Asshole!

Deirdre, is Rosie there?

- 'She's gone. She's quit.' - What?

- 'She's just walked out.' - Shite!

He did it! He finally did it!

- What? - He fucked her.

- Are you sure? - Oh, God!

He didn't go round there to sell her double glazing, did he?

- Where are we going? - No idea.

Listen, do you remember this?

It's one of the nicest birthday presents I've ever received.

Of course I remember this. Benoit's greatest hits.

Please put it on, because I need some music to cheer me up.

# U2: ''With Or Without You''

# See the stone set in your eyes

# See the thorn twist in your side

# I'll wait for you... #

Brings me back, too.

# Sleight of hand and twist of fate

# On a bed of nails she makes me wait

# And I'll wait without you

# With or without you

# With or without you

# Through the storm we reach the shore

# You give it all but I want more

# And I'm waiting for you

# With or without you

# With or without you, oh-oh

# I can't live

# With or without you... #

Oh!

# And you give yourself away

# And you give yourself away #

Rosie!

Rosie!

Rosie! Rosie!

Rosie.

Shite!

Shit.

Shit. Rosie...

Sammy!

Sammy. Has Rosie phoned?

- Where have you been? - Has Rosie phoned?

Are you interested in this firm?

No! Not now, Sammy.

- Hello? - 'Hiya, bollock brain.'

- Rosie. Where are you? - 'By the sea.'

Well, actually ON the sea!

- I can explain... - 'Benoit likes the car.'

- 'He says it drives well.' - But he can't fucking drive!

He's learning very fast. Oh, God!

Tell him not to worry.

It's OK, Vincent. It's easy.

- You fucker! - Is Rosie OK?

Benoit, listen to me.

'You see the pedal on the right? Ease off it gently.'

- Take your foot off... - Let me talk!

- She's my wife! - She's my daughter!

- He tries to talk me down. - He's good at it. Turn it off.

Rosie? Shit! Now look what you've done!

Vincent, what's happened?

Your daughter is fucking crazy!

And you're the sane one, I suppose?

How many fucking tea breaks do you need?

- Let's go. All right. - Oooh-oh.

# La-la-la... #

A sea waltz! You've invented a new dance.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh!

Woooah!

All right? All right, Vincent?

That fucking Postman Pat put her up to this!

For Christ's sake, Vincent! Catch a grip!

- Did she say where she was? - By the sea or something.

Don't worry. We'll find them.

Go home and take it easy. I'll call when I hear anything.

Just tell me where. Leave the rest to me.

- You're not a copper any more. - Just an asshole.

- We've known that for years. - And a stupid fucker.

Yes, and a twat.

I brought something with us in case we got hungry.

You should keep this. It's traditional.

Yeah...

Mm, it's good, you know. It's matured better than me.

- Ah! - Oh, God, what?

- Ah, the penknife. - I'm sorry.

Rosie...

Rosie.

- 'The number is unavailable.' - Fuck it!

''Dear Mr and Mrs Boyd, we are pleased to inform you -

''Rosemary is pregnant.''

Oh!

Oh, God! Oh!

No!

What are you looking at?

''Dear Benoit...

''It is cold, wet and miserable here,

''and your letters are the only thing I look forward to.

''You're so funny, intelligent and interesting.

''Why aren't there any boys like you in Ireland?

''Jusqu'a ce jour fatale, ma vie n'est que banale. Love, Rosie.''

- It's beautiful here. - It's freezing.

- Here. - Oh, thanks.

It's the only jumper I've ever knitted.

I haven't even done one for Vincent.

- You think it means something? - Yeah.

He's got more taste than I thought.

I love you.

I said, I love you.

I...

- ..said... - No, I heard you.

I thought you were going to make me a cup of tea.

- Rosie? Rosie? - 'It's Neil. Has she called?'

- No. - 'Look, we'll find her.'

She loved him before she loved me.

- 'What?' - It's here in black and white.

She hasn't said these things to me in a long time.

'Vincent, come on.'

- He wants to take her away. - 'Have you been drinking?'

- She's going to have his baby. - 'Look, listen to me.'

'Go and make some coffee and sober up. We'll find her.

'I swear to God we'll find her. Have I ever let you down, mate?

'Vincent? Vincent, mate?

'Vincent, are you there? Vincent!

'Vincent, mate? Vincent?'

- Do you want to talk? - I can't. I mean, I...

I don't know what to say, don't know how to say it.

- So write to me. - What?

Like we used to.

''You say in your letter that you met a man called Vincent,

''but he's going out with your friend Cathy. I'm sorry.

''It's difficult, but I'm sure you'll all be best friends soon.

''I have also met someone wonderful. Her name is Caroline.

''She's the most beautiful woman I have ever met -

''kind, gentle, giving.

''I can talk to her about everything.

''I'm deeply in love with her.''

The last letter you sent me.

Broke my heart.

Now aren't you going to break mine?

I think you should read this.

I'm sorry, I...

OK...

I'll take these to the car.

You're under arrest. Driving without a licence.

You have the right to remain silent.

You don't have the right to eat my food,

sleep in my house and fuck my wife!

Rosie!

Rosie! Rosie!

Stop it! Stop, you...

Stop or I'll shoot!

- Rosie! - Come here, you motherfucker!

I'll cut your bollocks off!

Vincent! Vincent!

Vincent.

Vincent!

Vincent!

Fuck. Fucking, fucking, fuck!

- I love her, Benoit. - So do I.

But she's MY WIFE!

You fucked her, didn't you?

- Didn't you? You fucked her! - No! No!

Didn't you fuck her?

Is it yours? Eh?

Well, is it yours, you fucker?

Benoit! Benoit! Are you OK? Are you OK?

- I'm OK. - Are you sure?

Vincent... Vincent!

Are you OK?

You slept with him.

You slept with Cathy.

- Do you love him? - No.

Do you want to have a baby with him?

What? No.

No. I think... you'd better read this.

''Dear Benoit, you are the first person I fell in love with,

''and I'd never met you. Maybe because you listened so well.

''That was years ago. Loving someone you've lived with

''and loving someone you've never met are different things.

''I love Vincent.

''Running away from him is like running away from myself.

''I hope you can understand. Love, Rosie.''

I think you'd better read this.

Fuck!

Fuck...

Ooh!

Vincent, we did it. We did it.

We did it... Vincent, we did it! We're pregnant!

Fucking hell, Vincent! Fucking hell!

- God, I love you! I love you. - Good.

Vincent Junior.

Nine months later, our baby Harry was born.

Vincent cried, I cried.

The baby cried. There were a lot of tears.

It's a wonder we didn't drown him.

He's a good boy, he's a good boy.

Oh, don't cry on me. Don't cry on me.

- Don't cry on me. - Oh, sweetheart.

He takes after you, Vincent. He's an ugly bugger.

No, he's gorgeous, but he's as heavy.

I know, I know.

Nine pounds, four ounces. 14 hours of agony.

- You must have been exhausted. - I was.

Rosie! For you. It's Beni.

All right. Here.

Oh, no, no, no.

- Come on. - Go to your daddy.

- Go to Beni. - I will!

Support his back.

- He will cry. - He won't.

He loves his Auntie Lillian, don't you?

Come on, chicken.

- Is everything all right, son? - Everything's fine.

- Has he pooed? - I don't know.

I'm calling to say happy christening.

Oh, thank you.

- How is he, little Harry? - He is great.

He's sleeping, drinking and shitting.

Not a bad life, eh?

- Er, did you get the photies? - Yes, thank you.

- He's a handsome boy. - Oh, do you think?

- His ears aren't too big? - No...

Um, I'm happy for you.

Thank you.

- Give my wishes to Vincent. - I will. He'll be pleased.

Come and help yourselves to puddings now. Come on!

Help yourselves to puddings! Good lad.

- It's gorgeous, Irene. - You've come off your diet?

Just phoning for the christening.

- Is he all right? - Fine. He sends his wishes.

Let's have a photie, a group photie.

In front of the presents. Rosie, Vincent, in the middle!

Come on, Andrew. Sarah, get over there.

Lillian! Terry! Come on.

My lovely grandchildren, youse are going to be in there.

Come on, you're not at a funeral.

Give us a smile, for God's sake!

Oh, Vincent's got a bogey!

- Say cheese! - Cheese!

Captions by European Captioning Institute

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