Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by the U.S. Department of education

( sneeze )

( sneezing )

( sneeze! )

I should have gone in.

Back from shopping.

How was it?

Great-- only one fight.

And we haven't finished fighting.

What happened?

He said I couldn't go into Bookman's.

Dad, Bookman's is a menswear store.

Menswear store-- no mothers allowed.

She'd want to go in the dressing room with me.

Hey, she goes in with me.

Is this the shirt?

Wait till you see it.

Have you seen it?

Through the window.

I felt funny charging it

but after I said I was your son

they said, "No problem."

They love me.

I make their clothes look good.

Here it is.

Dad, when I wear this on my date with Christine... ohh!

She'll die.

Bookman's does it again.

How much is it?

See the label? Gorden gartrell.

This is the shirt.

Gorden gartrell is a big designer.

Check out these details--

hidden buttons, back flap...

two-tone pockets.

A work of art.

How much?

The real thrill is the fabric-- pure silk.

Are your hands clean?

Doctors' hands are always clean.

Then why are they always washing them?

How much?

How much?

How much?!

dad, if you want quality, you have to pay for it.

95 dollars.

There must be a pair of pants in there, too.

95 dollars?

The salesman said this will last a lifetime.

If I live to be 90, that's about a dollar a year.

Theo, I don't have a $95 shirt, and I have a job.

Don't you want something better for your son?

Sure. Want to trade your room for that shirt?

No.

All right, then.

The shirt goes back.

Dad, I told Christine

I was getting a gorden gartrell.

Tell Christine you lied.

Dad...

no 14-year-old boy should have a $95 shirt

unless he is on stage with his four brothers.

I'll give you 30 dollars.

Thirty?!

All right, then... five!

For $30

I can't even get a gorden gartrell tie.

Are you a personal friend of this man?

Now... you take $30

and get yourself a nice $30 shirt.

Could you make it $35?

I could make it nothing.

Mom...

I'd grab it.

You guys are ruining my life...

but I don't mind.

I don't believe that--

a 14-year-old boy with a $95 shirt.

Cliff, the shirt is a symbol.

Men always go through this.

You think you need that to be somebody.

I never needed a $95 shirt.

I put on a football uniform

to impress the young woman I loved.

That's a symbol...

and you didn't need that because I already liked you.

I liked your little pointy head.

So... where's the gorden gartrell?

Dad's taking it back just because it costs $95.

Those shirts are overpriced.

But I look great in it.

Denise, when I came out of that dressing room

the whole store looked at me.

It shows off my upper body.

Yeah, but $95...

I don't care.

Christine deserves a man like me in a shirt like that.

I'll make you one.

You?

I took english, but I got a "D".

it's not hard.

You buy the material, follow the pattern...

you've got a shirt.

We're talking about a gorden gartrell--

the greatest shirt in the world.

What makes it great?

95 dollars.

That makes it expensive.

When you pay $95

you're not just paying for the shirt.

You're paying for gorden gartrell's summer house on the riviera...

for his rolls-Royce...

when you buy a gorden gartrell, you're supporting an empire.

Gee, I'm surprised it's so cheap.

So will you Gamble on me?

Can you do this?

Yes.

By saturday?

It will look like a gorden gartrell?

Gorden Gartrell's are $95. I'll make it for $25.

Here's $30.

Can you make it five dollars Better?

Thanks, Denise.

You're welcome.

Christine is going to die!

( sneeze )

CLAIR: Rudy, clean up that room.

Cliff, why are you lying down?

I'm tired.

Are you sick?

No.

Here we go.

You can never admit when you're sick.

I'm not sick. I'm just resting.

You're grumpy.

I'm not grumpy.

You're grumpy when you're sick.

I'm not sick.

What, then?

I'm lying down.

Theo: Dad, about that...

you're lying down.

Right!

Are you sick?

Grumpy. Sick.

Lying down.

It's okay if you take the shirt back.

Thank you.

Denise is making me one like it.

Denise is making a shirt?

The one who lives in this house?

An exact replica of a gorden gartrell.

And for just $30.

It's a Miracle!

Denise?

Denise, come in here, please.

Daddy, are you...

lying down.

Are you making Theo a shirt?

Look out, gorden gartrell.

Shirts aren't that easy to make.

Remember that party dress I made?

Who made?

Who put the zipper in?

Shirts don't have zippers.

Party dresses don't have sleeves, either.

I'd think you'd show a little faith in me.

You have this habit

of starting things with this excitement

and When the going gets rough, you quit.

Like what?

Ice skating. Guitar.

Skiing. Tennis.

Ballet. Yoga.

Pottery.

That's seven. Can't you think of any more?

We're talking about the cost.

I promised Theo a shirt, and I'll finish it...

without your help.

( slam )

( sneeze )

Dust.

( knocking )

Yeah?

Got time for a break?

Sure.

I brought you a snack.

Hey, thanks.

Where are the rest of them?

Small break, small snack.

Is that part of my shirt?

That's right.

Which part?

The sleeve.

Oh, yeah... of course.

Which sleeve?

I can't work like this!

I'll go... But look at this picture.

Not another shirt.

No, Christine.

She gave you a picture.

I took it.

It's blurred.

I was in a moving car.

But look.

Don't we look great together?

Theo, would you relax?

I'm relaxed.

I know you're worried.

Me? Worried?

About what?

That this won't look right

and it won't be done by saturday.

Yeah, but what else?

Relax, okay?

I've got the material, I'm following the Pattern.

Everything is under control.

Believe me?

Yeah.

Feel better?

I do.

Get out.

Did I mention I need it by saturday?

You're in good hands.

Okay.

Hi, mom.

Taking a break?

Yeah.

How's it going?

I'm trying to finish the shirt by tonight.

When you ask that, you make me nervous.

Sorry.

Hi, Denise. How's it going?

How's it going?!

is that all parents know, "How's it going?"

I just don't think I can finish this shirt by tonight.

Making a shirt is not easy.

You're probably doing

a lot better than you think.

I don't know.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

Just do the best you can.

Okay.

I made a couple wrong turns up there.

I'll need more money for material.

How much?

Ten dollars.

Ten dollars?!

Oh, my goodness, ten dollars.

You always need ten dollars.

You're warm.

I'm not sick.

Uh-huh.

I'm not sick and I'm not grumpy.

So how's it going?

How's it going?!

hurry up, Denise, I'm ready.

Theo.

You're wearing cologne.

Yeah.

Next time, put it on before you shower.

Is this my shirt?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Did he overdo the cologne?

Come talk to me.

Me?

I'm a little nervous about the shirt.

I need company.

Okay.

So what do we talk about?

Anything.

Ah, Janet meiser got a new bike today.

It's really great.

That's nice.

Denise!

It's over, isn't it?

What is this?

What do you mean?

Is this my shirt?

Is this the shirt that cost $30?!

they're supposed to think this is a gorden gartrell?!

you don't like it?

Ask me the question again.

You don't like it?

I hate it.

Look at it!

It's the ugliest shirt I've ever seen.

Is it that bad?

It's better than I could do.

Look at these sleeves.

My arms are the same length

why aren't my sleeves?

This collar's all crazy, and it's ten Sizes too big.

Tuck it in.

It's tucked into my socks!

You'll pay for this.

That's the last time I make anything for you!

Good!

( doorbell )

I'll get it.

Check first, it could be robbers.

Right.

Hi.

I'm Theo's mom.

I'm Philip Washington. This is Melissa James.

Hi, you must be Christine.

I've heard so much about you.

I'll get Theo for you.

Hi.

Hi.

Dad!

Hey!

Dad, look.

Well?

It could be better.

But then again, it's not as bad as you think.

Dad, it's terrible.

Just think of it as different, that's all.

Christine will laugh at me if I wear this.

No, she won't.

I promised her gorden gartrell, not a clown shirt.

I'll never trust Denise again.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I don't mean it.

It's a good-looking shirt, man.

But now, Theo, I remember one father's day

you gave me a present.

A tie.

A tie, yeah.

You were six years old.

You still remember that?

I always get you a tie.

Yeah.

Well, this was... this was a different tie.

This was a different tie.

This was about this wide, and it was yellow

and it had a Palm tree-- hand-painted--

and a hula dancer.

And right across the middle of it

was the word "Miami," and it lit up.

And Shortly after Father's day

I was invited to speak at a medical convention.

So I put on a gray herringbone suit

Black Wing tip shoes, lovely shirt.

Went in the closet to pick out a tie.

You came in, age six.

Little nose running.

You reached over and you grabbed that tie.

You held it up to me and said

"Dad, would you wear my tie, please?"

I wore that tie.

I got up to speak and people saw the tie.

The "Miami" Was lighting, and they started to laugh.

The more they heard me

and understood that I knew what I was talking about

the more they forgot about that tie.

Pretty soon, they only saw me.

Understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, dad, I do.

Good.

If I ever speak at a convention, I'll wear this shirt.

Dad, tonight I have Christine.

Christine!

If I wear this, she won't be seen with me again.

If I go to Bookman's right now, I could still get another one.

No.

Please, Dad.

I'll wash dishes.

I'll clean the basement.

I'll sign papers, Blank ones.

You can fill in whatever you like.

I think you've learned your lesson.

Oh, dad, I've learned it.

I've learned it, whatever it is.

We can talk about it later.

Later?! later?!

I can't wait until later, because if I wait till later...

son, son, son!

Now listen to me.

Up on my dresser is a box.

In that box is a shirt.

A gorden gartrell?

You bought another one?

I never took the one back that I had.

You knew this wouldn't work?

I've been living in This house for a long time.

Dad, you're great.

Just think, dad

I was that close

to the most embarrassing day of my life.

Cliff?

About the shirt-- where's Theo?

I'll get him for you.

You know what?

I must really be sick

because I can't even open this door.

Hi.

I'm doctor huxtable.

His father.

Take my shirt off.

I've told you a hundred times not to wear my best shirt.

Dad, Dad, dad, it's okay.

It's okay.

Christine, this is my shirt.

Theo, I think maybe you've got it on inside out.

No.

Christine...

it's not a gorden gartrell, is it?

It's better.

It's the new look.

Just like itchy amorada.

It's in all the magazines.

Theo, this shirt is hot.

Why do you think I'm wearing it?

We better get going.

Bye.

Wear a jacket.

And cover my itchy Amorada?

Wait a minute.

One last thing.

He's not going up to put on cologne, is he?

Hey, guess what?

They loved the shirt.

They did?

Christine says it's hot.

Christine's got great taste.

Denise, thanks.

Hey... nice cologne.

Come on.

No.

Come on.

Hey, you guys, this is my sister Denise.

She made this.

Hi. Hi.

Great shirt.

Can you make me one?

No! It's a designer original.

You make one, then you burn the Pattern.

Dad... thanks.

Bye, mom.

Good night, son.

Let's get started.

Phil, did you see the jets game last week?

Thanks, mom.

That's another family crisis we've survived.

Relax, cliff.

There won't be another one for at least five seconds.

Clair?

Yes?

I'm sick.

Here we go.

Will you take care of me?

Yes.

Will you put me in the bed?

Yes.

Will you take my temperature?

Yes.

Will you make soup for me?

Yes.

Will you buy me a pony?

Captioning made possible by the U.S.