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-I called this broadcast today to announce

that for the time being, the government of the United States

still stands and will continue to do so until the very end.

The attacks on our nation's soil over the last 30 hours

have been brutal, efficient, and devastatingly thorough.

Over 300 million American lives have been lost,

and 17 of our largest and proudest cities

have fallen forever.

Without question, we are all unwilling participants

in the most terrible tragedy in the entire harrowing history

of mankind.

I feel that if there were ever a time to be fully honest,

that time is now.

My fellow Americans, for the first time in my life,

I confess that I have lost all hope.

And as we near the end, I-- I pray for our nation.

May God protect you all and forgive us for the world

that we have left our children.

[ELEVATOR MUSIC]

NARRATOR: Of course, as far as we know,

the worst event ever to befall mankind was the sunstroke days.

The days between May 17 and May 19 of the year

of our lord 2075 AD, when the systematic liquidation of Old

America was successfully initiated.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

There were survivors, just over a million,

who shut themselves underground for over 20

dark and cold years.

And then one day, the poison passed.

With no law and no unified moral order,

America was once again a savage frontier.

In 2097, the race for sociological power began.

And what erupted is political turmoil,

Shakespearean in its scope.

This was the time when our nation's legends were

born into the national consciousness, the men

and women you learned about in school time and time

again, our nation's forefathers.

This is the time when our nation's story begins,

the epic, fantastical story of New America.

This is Tex Kennedy.

The belief is not uncommon that Tex Kennedy

is, in fact, the father of our nation.

And the two in back are Yul and Quincy.

Yul and Quincy are both robots and programmed

to stand by Tex Kennedy throughout his life.

However, they were built in the year 2042,

decades before Tex Kennedy was born.

Yul was given an actual human heart.

This makes it impossible to reprogram Yul against his will.

Quincy was gifted with the convenience

of being able to generate any wounds inflicted upon him.

Yul and Quincy's original mission

was to stand by and guard US President Randal Carter when

humans could no longer be trusted.

However, they failed in their prime objective.

[GUNSHOT]

[SCREAMING]

Yul and Quincy were deemed a national failure.

Their synthetic self esteem and sense of self worth

were dangerously low.

So they did with many men would do in their situation.

They drank and drank for 19 straight years, until finally,

a new mission arrived-- to protect the young, orphaned Tex

Kennedy, son of the late heroes Scott and Eloise Kennedy.

When the end of Old America arrived,

Yul and Quincy secured the seven-year-old Tex Kennedy

underground and then fought off attackers for several hours,

until the first bomb went off.

It was too late to join young Tex underground.

Opening the hatch would have killed him.

For over 20 years, Yul and Quincy

waited outside the bunker.

And for over 20 years, Tex Kennedy

grew up alone underground.

Tex survived.

Time passed.

And Tex emerged into the world a grown man.

But the year was now 2097, and Tex Kennedy's troubles

were only beginning.

-Here we are, boys.

The edge of the world.

The goddamn threshold of hell.

Look boys, it's our old friend Richie.

-Welcome [INAUDIBLE] Jesus.

-Where you coming from, Richie?

-Yeah, Richie.

-Richie, you look like shit.

-You really do.

You look like shit, I noticed.

You thought you could phone Benny first?

-We were outside the bunker.

We were about to get Benny when suddenly, like out of nowhere,

this guy dropped out of the sky like he was waiting for us.

[SCREAM]

-So I blacked out, and I woke up just in time

to see the bastard rip Sally's spine out of her back.

And then this guy, who had to be the Antichrist,

came up to me and he said--

-You go out, and you tell all the outsiders

what happens here.

-Well, Richie, I can't leave you like this.

-Hey guys, look at me.

Look at me.

We're going to be fine, OK?

We have a duty to this nation.

And the world's not going to change itself, is it?

Is it?

-No.

-No.

It's not going to change itself.

-OK.

Let's do this.

NARRATOR: Tex and the robots were now

completing the final steps of a 3,000 mile campaign trail

across the unforgiving wasteland of New America.

All the while, they had preached a new gospel of hope

to every godforsaken pocket of civilization

they happened across.

-Hey today, sir.

My name's Tex Kennedy.

These are my-- how are you?

Good to see you.

-Yeah, hey.

These are my colleagues, Yul and Quincy Mozart.

-How's it going?

-We don't want to take up too much of your time.

Just wanted to let you know that the new tomorrow is dawning.

-My guts are dry.

-Well, uh, we can do something about that

if we can count on your support for when

the new tomorrow comes.

[MAKING BIRD SOUNDS]

-Why, if that's a problem, we've got an answer for him.

Things are about to get a whole lot brighter for you sad sacks.

NARRATOR: However, it was here, at the end of their journey,

where the true nightmares would begin.

MAN (OFFSCREEN): Zachary, why are you here?

Why aren't you doing your job?

-I did.

-Didn't I ask you nicely?

Make sure nobody gets to him.

-Ow!

Jesus!

-Yeah, right.

-Quincy.

Quincy.

Quincy.

Please do not touch anything, OK?

-I'm sorry.

-Do not touch anything.

-Gosh, that's just amazing.

-No, thank you.

This is it, boys.

Everything's just like Remington said.

-All hail Remington.

-Any sign of the Antichrist?

-Nope.

Richie was just trying to scare us.

-A pretty elaborate way to do it.

-Yeah.

-Ain't one of his arms cut off?

-Yeah.

-All that to scare us, man?

-Yul, there's no Antichrist, OK?

-Are we going to do this?

-Yeah, we're going to-- [SIGH] Yeah.

-I can never get this top button.

-Here.

-Oh, it's fine, man.

You look great.

-It's like my neck got bigger or something.

-Nah, I don't think so.

-Is that possible?

-No, no.

-Can your neck get bigger?

-No, the model before that--

-Shh. -You could--

-Shh. Shh.

-That would--

-What? -Shh.

-What? -Shh. -Shh. Shh.

-Shh. Shh.

Shh. -What?

-Thank you. Thank you.

-We're going to help you, man.

-Yo, Benny, you in there?

-[INAUDIBLE]

-Shh.

-Benny!

We're going to come in.

-I got it.

-OK. I'm going to open it.

All right. Back up from the door.

-I'm going to open the door. -You're going to do it?

-Just step aside.

Get out of the way.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

-I really don't think you should do it.

-Thank you. Thank you.

Get out of the way please.

Thank you.

-Let him open the door.

-[INAUDIBLE] go ahead.

-Benny, step away from the door, please.

Why'd you let me do that?

-What?

-Why'd you let me do that?

-What do you mean

-Quincy, please, will you do it, please?

-OK.

-Thank you.

-That's what I was saying in the first place.

[DOOR CREAKING]

The door opens outwards.

-I know.

Woo.

Whoa.

You guys should-- it smells like Satan's sweaty crotch in here.

Hello!

Hello!

Anybody in here?

Any Americans?

Whoa.

Hey, Benny.

Hey.

[SOBBING]

-You're sitting in the goddamn dark, friend.

You look like life tugged your sack a little.

We came a long ways to find you.

You got a lot of people looking for you.

But we got here first, didn't we?

Let me get you out there in the sun.

Whoa, Benny.

NARRATOR: Benjamin Remington.

You wouldn't know it to see him here,

but he was destined to save us all.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): How long ago did your power burn out?

You're like a god damned night bat.

You've been in here 23 years, Benny.

It's time for you to come on out.

We have a lot of work to do, and you're in charge.

I'm just gonna-- I'm just gonna help you out here.

[SCREAMS]

QUINCY (OFFSCREEN): Oh, shit.

YUL (OFFSCREEN): Tex, that's what I was talking about.

You can't just throw him out like that.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): You know, I told you.

This kind of thing, you gotta hold your breath and jump in.

YUL (OFFSCREEN): Well, you could show some respect.

-[SCREAMS]

-Benny, it's for your own good, partner.

-[SCREAMS]

-You gotta soak it up, OK?

You gotta soak up that sun.

You were, what, three the last time you saw it?

-Hey, you're in the clear now, man.

Half life's expired two years ago.

You've been, um, sitting up in there, wasting your time.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): Benny, man, you should

have splurged for the XL 20s.

These bunker L9s are pieces of shit.

You got your XL 20s, the electricity

guaranteed not to go out.

Still have your eyes at least.

I bet you got 20/20 hindsight now though, huh?

Here, Benny.

Benny, buddy, this is the problem here

with the-- with the smell.

You should've-- you should've ate this meat in here as soon

as the power went out, then stuck with the non-perishables,

OK?

-Oh, yeah.

-Let's air this out a bit.

Oh.

-Oh.

-I couldn't be more embarrassed right now.

Oh, it's his parents.

I'm sorry as all hell.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Benny, I just want to say, first

of all, what a humongous honor it is to finally meet you

after all these years.

YUL (OFFSCREEN): We came a long way to find you.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): We started out in Los Angeles, California.

-Well, what used to be Los Angeles.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): They got 15 people living there now.

YUL (OFFSCREEN): I can't believe that shit.

-We would have liked to have stayed there a while,

but we gotta get going, keep moving.

-We're on the campaign trail.

-Quincy, can I see you for a minute?

-What?

-Would you just-- would you just do me a favor and just

shut your mouth and let me handle this?

Just let me do it.

You don't need to do anything.

Just shut your mouth, OK?

OK? -OK.

-OK?

-OK.

-We're on the campaign trail.

-Well, we're running for office.

We're hoping to get--

-I'm running for the office of the Vice King of the New

America, if you'll have me.

YUL (OFFSCREEN): I'm going to be general.

-Yeah, Yul is general.

-I'll be treasurer.

Treasurer and Senator of the New Republic of Louisiana.

-Quincy's a robot.

-No, I'm not.

-Yeah, he is.

-There's no reason to upset him.

-Yul's mostly a robot.

He's got a human heart, so he's not like a full-fledged robot.

-Now you're starting with this.

-Quincy's the real deal though.

He's a robot.

-No, no, no, no.

No, I'm not.

I'm not.

-Anyways, the important thing is that we found you.

-You're the key, what we all have been looking for.

-You're what King Clark Remington had in mind.

-He was your uncle, man.

That's fucking rowdy.

-You have no idea the kind of influence your uncle

had to all of us in the underground communities.

I can only say that Jesus Christ himself would have had less.

-Who's Jesus Christ?

Who's Jesus Christ?

-Shut up.

Shut up, Quincy.

Just shut up.

Just shut up!

You've been pulling this shit all day.

-OK.

-Would you please just shut your mouth?

Just shut your mouth.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Shut up.

OK?

Just shut your mouth.

-Yeah.

-OK?

-OK.

I'm not saying anything else.

-Shh.

OK.

I'm sorry.

-What?

-I'm sorry.

-That's cool.

-I'm sorry.

-Yeah.

-I'm sorry.

Um-- [MAKES SOUNDS]

I'm sorry.

Um, your uncle gave us comfort and guidance

through gamma radio broadcasts for the duration

of our underground lives.

-Yeah, there was, um, Clark Remington and his nightly radio

show, "The Remington Hour."

Um, very few people deny that Remington's influence

over the early years of New America was immeasurable.

But the thing is-- and a lot of people forget this-- is, um,

he was-- yes, he was King of America.

But he was the self proclaimed King of America.

And I think he sold cars before the sunstroke days.

-No money down and nothing up my sleeve.

It's true at Remington Automotive,

or I ain't [CLICKS] quick deal Clark.

-But after the sunstroke days when he was underground,

and he could communicate with his radio,

he convinced the underground communities

that he was King basically because he

had this-- he had this certain kind of charisma-- charisma

about him that-- that, you know, in the other-- the other

American underground people, they--

they had no other option.

-Ladies and gentlemen of the New America,

this is Clark Remington, speaking to you now

for the last time.

I have held your hand through the darkest span

in our human timeline.

But there is a light ahead.

We all can see it.

And now is the era of a new time and a new people.

I am at the twilight of my days here on this cursed planet.

I ask that no tears be shed in my passing,

but rather that my memory be preserved through perseverance

and through a commitment to the plans I have laid before you.

One year and seven months into our future, the citizens

of this nation will emerge onto the soil once again.

And you will need a new king to guide you.

I call out today, May 27, 2094, to announce

that the new king shall be Benjamin Remington, my nephew.

I call all of you who believe in the promises of tomorrow

to journey to the dark corner of the world,

exalt this young man, and bring him to power.

He has the answers to the future.

And he will bring you home.

This is Clark Remington, saying be strong.

Do not compromise.

And God bless you all.

-Uh, yeah.

People wonder why Tex Kennedy was so obsessed with, um,

following out Remington's orders.

But, you know, people have to understand

that, uh, Tex was an orphan.

And when he was-- when he was underground,

Remington's radio show was the only parent

that-- that Tex had.

And, you know, the fact that Benjamin Remington

had to become his successor was-- oh, my god.

That was the gospel to Tex.

That was simply mandatory.

Does that make sense?

-Benny Remington.

That's you.

-Quincy, he knows who he is.

-Well, the problem was that your uncle had the broadcast from

a gamma radio 2,800X

-So in order for the nation to stand again,

it had had to be unified.

Well, unfortunately, though, by the time

the information got to the East Coast, it was misunderstood,

and it was distorted.

And I'd say, [CLICKS] less than 25% of the population

actually received a usable signal.

It's pretty sad.

-Out there in the threshold of hell

is the answer to all our problems.

They have a gamma radio 12,000X, the most powerful radio

transmitter in the history of the world,

capable of reaching all the borders of New America at once.

-If we take control of the radio,

we have control of the communication.

-If we control the communication,

we can unify the people.

-The world's about to get a shitload brighter.

YUL (OFFSCREEN): A fresh new one coming

around the corner, a new nation.

-We heard rumors that there are over 100,000 Americans

surviving somewhere over those purple mountain majesties.

We gotta find them all.

We've got to reorganize and we need this rock

if we are going to stay a united nation.

-And an army.

-An army.

-That's right, friend, an army.

We've got to raise if we're going to find off

the foreign oppressors that want to section us out and claim

the land that belongs to us.

I'm talking about Canada.

I'm talking about Mexico.

I'm talking about Arizona.

I'm talking about England, goddamn it.

NARRATOR: What Tex and the robots didn't know

was that Benny was much clearer on the situation

than they could ever have imagined.

MAN (OFFSCREEN): Do you want to keep

thinking at this scale, huh?

NARRATOR: Benjamin had begun to see the visions when

his eyes had failed completely.

And when he was ready, Benjamin would know just what to do.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Us native Americans have to stick together.

You're the chief, kid.

You get a full itinerary.

-Tex, we gotta get Sue.

-What?

-Well, we gotta get Sue.

-Yul, I'm the one who decides what we do with Sue, OK?

-She's gonna be mad, you leave her in that cage like that.

-Quincy.

-I'm right.

-OK, OK.

QUINCY (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, I mean, Yul said it.

What?

-Can I just borrow that real quick?

[SCREAMS]

QUINCY (OFFSCREEN): Who are you?

-Oh, I don't know why I did that.

Quincy, I apologize.

-The glory is bleeding from my knee!

-Hold on.

I don't see what the drama is.

Just run the regeneration program real quick.

OK?

I'm sorry.

OK?

I apologize.

-Regeneration initiated.

-Tyrannical, man.

-Yul, I just said I was sorry.

MAN (OFFSCREEN): Just because he's

a robot with regenerative properties.

-Why does everyone keep saying that?

-He's a robot with regenerative properties

and a counterproductive, smart ass mouth.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Please wait.

-Where are you going?

-Yul, I'm going to explain something to you,

and I hope you can understand.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Please wait.

-I don't answer to anybody.

What's my last name, Yul?

Kennedy.

Kennedy.

I am a Kennedy.

I don't answer to you two.

-Well, I don't know what that has to do with anything.

-Well, because you're retarded.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Regeneration complete.

-Well, where are you going?

-I'm going to go get Sue.

I'm going to go bring her here.

Relax for a second in your--

-If there were one historical figure that's

more responsible for capturing the imaginations of New

Americans, it would have to be Cannibal Sue.

Her Christian name, Cannibal Susan.

[GROWLING]

-Here, guys.

You happy now?

You gonna stop crying?

-She's pissed off.

-Yul, what the-- what the hell are you doing, man?

-All right.

Relax.

-Keep away from the cage.

She Is not a toy.

-I know that.

-Sue is not a toy.

-I know that OK?

-She will eat your face.

-OK.

QUINCY (OFFSCREEN): She will suck out your cock.

-All right.

OK.

[GROWLING]

-Hey, Sue.

-Yes?

-Sue, I'm going to let you out of the box now, OK?

-OK.

-OK?

-OK.

-If you hurt anyone, I'm bringing out the lightning rod,

OK?

-I won't.

-You bite anybody, I'm going to cut your kneecaps off.

-I won't.

-You won't what?

-Bite anyone.

-I know you won't.

-Oh.

Thank you guys for putting me in that box.

I appreciate it.

-OK.

That's far enough.

We don't want you coming any closer, OK?

-Hey, hey.

-Or I'm going to shock the shit out of you.

SUE (OFFSCREEN): Do you have any food?

-We might, OK?

We might.

But it's not going to be human flesh.

You gotta learn to eat something different.

-Just anything.

I'm starving.

-Here.

It's Sue, an honest to god cannibal.

Nobody knows where she came from, but a battalion of scouts

found her in the middle of the desert.

-Hello.

-Hey, boys.

I think I have to go pop one.

[GROWLING]

-Goddamn it.

-She was gnawing on their skulls, had guts

coming out of her teeth.

It was the most terrible thing I'd ever seen in my life.

-Tex, it wasn't.

You're embellishing.

-Hey, you ate every one of them.

SUE (OFFSCREEN): OK.

-End of story.

ROBERT (OFFSCREEN): And historically, Cannibal Sue

became a national hero.

Cannibal Sue is of course the reason

why we celebrate Cannibal Day every November 9,

when all good Americans sit down to enjoy

a three ounce cut of human flesh.

-Happy Cannibal Day, everyone.

-I hate Cannibal Day.

-It's a shame your uncle Richie couldn't join us.

-Oh, boy.

Here it comes.

-He'd be delicious with some lemon pepper.

[LAUGHING]

-[INAUDIBLE] talk about it if you're not going to let me--

-So we found her days after that.

And luckily, she wasn't hungry, or else she

would have eaten us too.

-Tex, you're so dramatic.

-We got big plans for her.

-Cannibal Sue.

-When, you know-- when she gets hungry,

she has the strength of 10 men.

She's like a mythical beast.

QUINCY (OFFSCREEN): Except she's pretty.

-Yeah.

She's a looker beast.

-You guys are pathetic.

-Hey, hey, hey.

I will shock the darkest reaches of your soul.

SUE (OFFSCREEN): Come on.

[CRACKLE]

NARRATOR: Always a few steps behind Tex

was Vincent Remington, Benjamin's first cousin

and the son of the dead king, Clark Remington.

Vincent became widely known by his war name, Mr. Jackle.

Marcellus was Jackle's right hand man

from the mysterious Republic of Arizona.

-Hi, Vincent.

-I told you not to call me that. -Right.

Yes. Sorry.

You're right, sir.

Sorry.

Mr. Jackle, well, I thought you could use a little cheering up.

So I, uh, threw a little something together.

We were short on nutmeg, which is usually my secret recipe.

But I found some cayenne pepper, and actually that-- All right.

Fine.

-We're close.

I'll bet my father's life on it.

-Your father's life?

-I know, Marcellus.

-Well, that's--

-Ridiculous?

I know.

-Well, I--

-Seeing as how I killed him, seeing

as how I killed my own father.

NARRATOR: Jackle was intent on convincing the world

that he'd murdered his father, which wasn't exactly true.

-Uh, the-- now the relationship between Vincent Remington

and his father-- oh, that was a nightmare beyond--

beyond imagination.

It was really, really horrible.

-I call out today, May 27, 2094, to announce

that the new king shall be Benjamin Remington.

-What are you staring at, you pathetic little shit?

-I thought I was going to be the next king.

-Shut up, Vincent.

You open your mouth again, and I'm

going to knock it off your skull.

You thought you would be the next king, did you, Vincent?

My sociopathic son?

What is it now, after, uh, 17 attempts on my life?

God knows how I made it this long.

But I will tell you one thing.

This country has a shot at a second chance.

And you are not going to fuck it up, Vincent.

You are to stay away from the threshold to hell.

And you stay away from your cousin.

[CHUCKLES] Look at you, Vincent, my son.

My son is a little girl.

Hey, buddy, you want to close the goddamn door

before the whole fucking room liquifies?

This is it, then.

Give it a good one.

-I'm not going to kill you, Vincent.

But I am going to take something from you.

[SCREAMS]

-His ear drum.

The guy took out his ear drum.

[GROANING]

NARRATOR: And so Jackle resurfaced, assembled

a small band of mercenaries, and set out on his dark quest

to murder his cousin and take the throne of new America

for himself.

-It doesn't matter.

They have my cousin.

We track them down.

Our plans stay the same.

-It won't be easy.

It's not a problem.

It's a challenge.

But we're going to have to face up to Tex and his robots.

-And Cannibal Sue.

-Vincent.

-Whatever.

The point is my cousin Benny must be eviscerated.

-Now listen, you've got 50 men out there

eager to hear from you. -Let me think, Marcellus.

-And if you need--

-Let me think, Marcellus!

-(UNDER BREATH) Any [INAUDIBLE], and I can punk your dismembered

head across the heavens.

-What?

-Sorry, you still thinking?

-Something about my--

-I'm going to go round up the troops, OK?

You stay happy.

[YELLING]

-Hey, listen, uh, Marcellus.

Look, there's a couple things that, uh, me and the fellas

here thought that maybe we could talk

to you about just real quick.

We think Jackle's lost his shit.

XAVIER (OFFSCREEN): It's not that.

Well, it's just that we've been tromping through the desert.

We just want to know, what's the buzz?

-Yeah, we deserve to know who we're chasing.

-Exactly.

I mean, that's the least you could do for us.

-We all think it's the least you could do.

-All right, guys.

OK.

If you have a complaint, you're going

to have to elect a single representative,

and then we'll hear you.

-I elect Xavier.

-Yeah, Xavier, you do it.

-Yeah, OK.

All right.

Yeah, I'll be the representative for the crew.

-Xavier, you accept this responsibility?

-Yeah, I-- yes.

[GROANS]

-It's all right.

[GROANING]

That's right.

[GROANING]

All right, guys, what we need now

is confidence in your leaders.

-Yeah, we know.

I know.

-Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

-We're going to sit at the throne of the new world.

But you have to trust us.

[UKULELE MUSIC PLAYING]

-(SINGING) With honor, my love, down by the sea.

Ask myself what else would an island be.

Down by the sea.

With you and me.

Love so tenderly.

Down by the sea.

Went to the market down by the sea.

Ask myself what I would buy in a market by the sea.

Maybe kiwis or orange-ies or apple-ies or kumquat-ies,

but definitely goat's milk.

Monkey see, monkey do as I go to the market with you.

Yeah.

Monkey see, monkey do as I'm lighting my fire

and drinking my goat's milk.

[HUMMING]

[SINGING]

-Benny I-- I-- I know you're going through some hard times

here.

But you really need to get your shit together and try

to come up with some kind of strategy.

[SQUEAL]

-OK, that's not-- that's not helpful.

Um, our goal, Benny, uh-- and listen hard.

Our goal is this.

Your uncle foretold of our nation's new capital

residing 10 kilometers from here.

It's Fort Brando.

And before you can take over as king,

we have to overtake that fort.

And it's not going to be easy.

-Hey, I'm freezing over here.

-Sue, can it.

-Can I just hang out by the fire with you guys?

YUL (OFFSCREEN): Hell no.

-Tex.

-Tex, tell her hell no.

-You want me to freeze?

You want to lock me in a box and then let me freeze to death?

-Do you promise not to eat anybody?

YUL (OFFSCREEN): Tex.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): Let me at least get the dynamite.

NARRATOR: As Tex and Benjamin progressed slowly

toward their fate, Benjamin began to speak up,

spouting the indecipherable wisdom of the ages.

-I feel it.

It's the power of 3,216 and 42 degrees in, please.

Life is so much more than just the trillions

of reflections of light.

I smell porpoise.

That's not always a good sign.

NARRATOR: The solitary tracker named

Thorn was a former resident of the threshold of hell

and the estranged twin brother of Zach Jefferson.

-Zach, I didn't know it was you, man.

-I'm not Zach.

-Oh, you're his twin brother, aren't you?

Uh, Thorn.

-Back from the dead.

-You can be injured, dickwad.

Wait.

NARRATOR: Thron was returning to the threshold

for the first time in two years.

However, his objectives were not political.

His intentions were of a far more personal nature.

-Gentlemen, when you all came to me, lost and poisoned

sacks of shit, I offered you a purpose, a destiny,

an opportunity to participate in one

of the most important acts in our new human history.

Most of you won't survive.

-[MUMBLING]

-I'm sorry.

What was that?

-Nothing.

-No, no.

You have something to share.

By all means.

MARCELLUS (OFFSCREEN): We're all family here.

There's no reason to be shy.

-That's right.

What was your name again?

-Ian.

-Carry on.

-Well, I just had a brainstorm.

I mean, why don't we just leave your cousin there

in the threshold of hell, let him die?

And we can continue to take over the world from here.

-No, no.

It's a good idea.

Your way is so much easier and simpler.

Just ignore the natural order of nature.

Just ignore our destiny.

Just put the fate of our nation and all my dreams

into the hands of a bunch of goddamn motherfucking

sociopaths while we sit here like a bunch of goddamn--

fucking goddamn--

-Maybe if you [INAUDIBLE].

[MOTOR REVVING]

[SCREAMS]

-We leave at dawn.

Those of you not with us will be hunted and gutted

like a lizard.

-Just a little while longer, Marcellus, and this

will all be in your hands.

VINCENT (OFFSCREEN): What?

-Nothing.

Do your breathing exercises, Vincent.

Enjoy breathing while it lasts, Vincent, you gargled puss.

VINCENT (OFFSCREEN): What?

-The legend of Yorick, the children of the second son,

and the beach party at the threshold of hell,

from at least several perspectives,

goes something like this.

It was in March, 2075 when a man using the completely bogus

appellation Yorick arrived at an area that later became known

as the threshold of hell during an annual event known

in Old American as spring break.

Yorick chose a few hundred of the most attractive and vibrant

young people he could find and convinced them

through skillful persuasion or mind trickery

or what have you to start a commune, a type of pagan cult.

Now cult leaders throughout time have promised their followers

that the world was about to end and that through their faith

these followers would be protected

from that devastation.

But in this case, Yorick actually

followed through on his promise.

For whatever reason, dark magic or whatever,

the radiation did not affect the members of the commune.

And to top that off, legend says that the children

of the second son never aged, could not be injured.

And their only responsibility was

to make sure that no one entered the threshold of hell.

But on the night of July 14, 2097, by some miracle,

Tex Kennedy did just that, coming

face to face with Yorick, the children of the second son,

and the infamous ritual known as the beach party

at the threshold of hell.

[DANCE MUSIC]

-Hey.

Hey, it's Yorick!

[CHEERING]

-You ever seen some shit like that before?

-Is everybody here?

Is everybody happy?

-Uh.

[SCREAMS]

-Let's note this then.

-Hey.

Good morning.

Wake up.

Rise and shine.

It's a brand new day.

[CRACKLE]

And you boys aren't supposed to be here.

-Yeah.

Who the hell are you, slippy?

-How'd you get here?

-Listen, buddy, we got a lot to do today.

So forgive us if we don't stick around for the chitchat.

-I'm telling you, you better turn around.

-And I'm telling you that we walked

3,000 miles on foot to get here.

And things are going to start changing.

I guarantee you that.

-Yeah, I'm not gonna warn you again.

-Where's the, uh-- where's the guy?

-You're not getting in to see Yorick.

-Yeah, Yorick.

Let's go see Yorick.

Let's go.

-Uh, only the purest of heart get in to see Yorick.

-That's me, baby.

-Look, I'm going to give you five seconds.

And then I'm going to show you your lungs.

-Oh, word?

-Whoa.

Whoa.

Yeah, whoa.

Was that a threat?

Oh, I just-- I really, um-- I hope it wasn't.

Because let me explain something to you.

-Now things are going to get real ugly around here.

You're coming in and contaminating

the one pure source-- [GROANS]

-That's right.

Step right up.

Everybody's a winner.

-Ooh, it's really real now.

You ready to get low?

-Damn it.

You broke my rib.

-Oh, shit.

-Oh, god.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Sector six regeneration initiated.

-[INAUDIBLE]

[SCREAMING]

-Hey, listen, I know that you and I have had our differences.

But you've got to come out here and kill this guy, OK?

Just-- oh, balls.

[CHUCKLES]

MAN (OFFSCREEN): Shit.

Oh, shit, Benny.

Oh, shit.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): Good.

That worked out pretty well for me.

NARRATOR: And so Tex Kennedy met Yorick for the first time.

The man was ancient and, without a more reasonable explanation,

was recorded in the annals of history

as a spawn of lord Lucifer of the kingdom of hell.

-Ha.

Benny Remington, you're here at last.

-Hello, Yorick.

-Hello, Benny.

-You two know each other?

-Well, let's say I know of Benny.

Benny Remington, oh, the big celebrity,

here to lead the pack and yackety yackety yack.

We got some machines.

-You're a Deluxe R12 model, right?

-I'm the model of headbutting you in.

-No.

-OK, uh, Benny, so I-- I guess this is all as, uh,

King Clark Remington prophesized, huh?

-My uncle.

Yeah.

Here I am.

-Here to take over for me.

-As far as I know.

-Uh-huh.

Well, that's horse shit.

-Well, that's not the greatest attitude.

-Just joking, Benny.

I'm so glad having you around here.

I wouldn't have thought you'd be here in a million years.

-They found me in my bunker four kilometers from here.

-Yeah.

You see, Zachary here was supposed

to be the welcoming party--

-[SCREAMS] Jesus.

-For anybody trying to come to get you.

And there you go.

So--

-Excuse me, uh, there's some answers I still need.

-Another R56 model!

-Yo, you better back up off me, man.

-This is my lucky day.

-What you doing, man?

Get off me.

There's no regenerative properties on this one.

Still a sweet deal though.

I can reprogram these guys.

-I gotta remind you, you know we have to execute the humans.

-What?

-You know, the mortals.

-Oh.

Oh, no, no, no.

They're all with me.

YORICK (OFFSCREEN): Well, it's time we get rid of them, Ben.

-They're all needed here.

-Fuck it.

-No, there's-- there's things about--

-Benny, fuck it!

-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

OK.

Listen, I really apologize for interrupting.

But, uh, I think I may have an idea that can make us all

happy, um, in this-- this thing that--

YORICK (OFFSCREEN): Human, huh?

-Yeah, OK.

-Worthless to us.

-Oh, well, just lay it on me, man.

Don't-- don't be sensitive to my feelings.

-What does your face look like after someone

kicks it in as hard as they can?

[CHUCKLING]

-OK, so I see.

We're just going to start getting cute now.

[GROANS]

[COUGHING]

OK, good.

OK.

Hey!

You can't-- you can't leave me in here!

Help!

There's a goddamn animal in here.

Hey, Sue.

I think that, um, you and I got off to a bad start.

I sure didn't want any bad blood between us.

-It's too late for that now.

-I was going to bring you in on every accomplishment that

had befell me and the boys.

-Really

-I was just-- I just needed some time

to-- to kind of create an understanding with you.

-An understanding between us?

-Are you gonna eat me?

-I'm not going to eat you.

-You're not?

-I don't think so.

TEX (OFFSCREEN): You don't know?

-No.

-Why the hell not?

-I don't know.

-You're not going to eat me?

-I'm not promising.

-After I locked you in a cage.

-Well.

-Like a goddamn circus freak.

-I don't know.

I don't know.

-Hey, Sue, back away.

Sue, get-- Sue, back off, please.

-Yeah.

I'll take that.

-Sue could've killed Tex any time, any time.

I don't care how many robots you threw at her.

But she had this thing for Tex.

And in a way, they became New America's first power couple.

I-- I don't know what she saw in Tex.

I don't really understand women.

NARRATOR: And so the bizarre reprogramming of Yul and Quincy

began.

-Rebooting.

Rebooting.

Rebooting.

NARRATOR: What Henry didn't know was that Yul's human heart made

it impossible for him to be reprogrammed against his will.

-Yo, what the hell are you doing, man?

-Ah.

You didn't reboot.

-My bad.

Rebooting.

Rebooting.

Rebooting.

-You guys are getting reprogrammed.

-Yay!

Stop copy.

Stop copy.

I'm blind!

[LAUGHING]

-Stop.

You look like an idiot.

Ugh, I'm tired of this.

No.

No.

Never, ever, never, never touch the master's eyes.

Never, ever.

Yeah, good.

-That was fucking magical.

-Woo-hoo.

-Oh.

Ow.

[GROANS]

-Good morning.

-That was rough.

-I get carried away.

-You two should really rest up.

They say they're going to get the train.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Javier Castro.

-That's Sue.

I'm Tex.

-Kennedy.

I know, OK?

I know.

It's ironic, no?

Eight generations ago, your forefather, President John

Kennedy, disputed my forefather, Fidel Castro.

That was back home when Cuba was still Communist.

-There's no such thing as Communists.

-OK.

But now, after all this strife, here we

are, trapped together, a Kennedy and a Castro

in the threshold of hell.

-You came here from Cuba?

-[INAUDIBLE]

-There's no such thing as Cuba.

-Yes, there is. -No, there's not.

-Yes, there is. -No, there's not.

-Yes, there is.

Look, I came here three days ago on a raft

to instill democracy, theo-democratic individual

capital socialism to be a [INAUDIBLE], a framework

for a civilized society here in the anarchy of America,

a new world.

I made the journey from Havana.

But I did not expect to find this aggressive encroachment

upon me.

I come in peace, OK?

And now, I just waiting to die, which should be any day now.

-Well, that's sweet, kid.

You're like a--

-But you are going to die with me.

You, me, and your human eating friend.

-Hey, hey, hey.

My human eating girlfriend.

-Aw, isn't that precious?

-Quincy!

Praise Elvis.

There you are.

Where've you been, man?

Hey, we need to-- we need to-- we

need to get us out of here ASAP.

-Hold on.

Hold on.

What'd you call me?

TEX (OFFSCREEN): What?

-You called me Quincy, fuckface.

-They obviously reprogrammed him.

-Javier, thank you.

I'm trying to my friend and-- Quincy, did they reprogram you?

-I don't know what the fuck you two are talking about.

-That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

You know that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.

Listen, you ready to die?

TEX (OFFSCREEN): Quincy, snap out of it.

-I fucking said, you ready to die?

-Quincy, get off the wall please.

You're going to hurt yourself. -I'm not going to hurt myself.

-Get off before you hurt yourself please.

-I can't-- I can't-- I never fall.

I never fall, because I'm the fucking--

-Javier.

-Get up. [INAUDIBLE]

-Hey, Yul, help us out here.

-Oh, you're talking to me?

Dog, you don't know me, all right?

-Tex, death is not your destiny.

-Oh, yes it is.

-No, it's not.

-Benny, do me a fucking favor.

Shut the fuck up.

-Oh, yeah.

They're right there.

-So, uh, what's the plan?

-Well, I-- I want to be fair.

I'll just wait here.

And you go get them.

-Our nation from these poisoned masses.

I condemn the there of you to death by radiated sea

snake in our bile lake!

[LAUGHING]

-Water's hot.

Jump right in.

-Let's make a deal, guys, OK?

You guys don't have anything to worry about except

for me, because if you don't go out there and get them,

I'm going to hang you from a tree by your intestines.

OK?

-OK.

Uh, well, we'll just head out into the water.

-Head first now.

That's good.

That's my boys.

-Hey, Yul, now's as good a time as any

to tell him about your human heart, OK?

QUINCY (OFFSCREEN): Oh, quit your yapping and die already.

-It's not true, is it?

-Well, yeah.

I got a human heart.

-But bots can't be reprogrammed with human hearts.

And

-I know.

-So what's the buzz, man?

-Well, I mean, I figure, you know,

you motherfuckers can only get killed

when you get your eyes tagged, right?

-No, no, no.

So?

-So--

[SCREAMS]

-[INAUDIBLE]

[SCREAMING]

-Bye-bye, cutie pie.

-Whoa, whoa.

-[SCREAMS]

-Asshole.

Hold on.

I'm coming to get you.

-Hustle.

Come on.

That's my good old, dear old boys, going down, down so deep

for me.

[SCREAMING]

[GASPING]

-Why'd it let us go?

-I don't know.

-Benjamin, let's seal the deal.

You're the king.

I still run this joint.

And, uh, we're going to go announce it

over the gamma radio.

-Good.

-Zachary.

ZACH (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

-Zachary.

-Yeah.

-Circle the lake.

Make sure everyone's dead.

-I can tell you right now that they're not.

-You like that?

-Never do that again.

-We have to go back there.

-To the port?

-Yeah, you know, I walked 3,000 miles and all that.

-Well, Tex, I have to say, I don't think that's--

-Listen, don't worry about me, OK?

I got a plan.

And I think things are going to be OK.

I'm angry now.

And when I'm angry, I'm invincible.

-That's how you do it.

-You know I have to kill you now, right?

NARRATOR: And so Tex and Sue were captured yet again.

But this time, things would be different.

Meanwhile, Yul found himself scouring

the forests of the threshold in his search for Tex.

-Oh.

-Oh, man.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

-Quincy?

-Who's Quincy, numb nuts?

-Come on, man.

I don't have time for this, man.

-Time for what?

-Stop playing around, man.

I thought we had a--

-Time for this?

-What the hell are you doing?

Quincy, you're making a big mistake, man.

-Oh, yeah?

-Oh, shit.

-The biggest mistake you ever made

was turning on master Henry.

-[INAUDIBLE] an asshole, man.

57 years to every second of every day of our life.

57 years, OK?

Come on, Quincy.

-Who the hell is Quincy?

-You gotta work with me.

You're getting really close to my bio-drive, OK, Quincy?

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Critically damaged.

-I hate robots.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Face card critically damaged.

-What the--

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Shut down initiated.

-Shut down.

Shut down.

Shut down.

Shut down.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Shutdown complete.

-Shut down.

Shut down.

That's right!

That's right.

That's right!

Oh, this is the worst.

This is the worst place that God ever puked up.

-Hey, Sue.

Hey.

My name's Franklin.

And the girls are Veronica and Allison.

Yorick assigns me and the girls to break our visitors

in because we're sadists.

-So Franklin, you're next, huh?

[LAUGHING]

-Yes!

-Let's get started.

[CHUCKLING]

You ready, sweetie?

[SCREAMS]

Honey, you're gonna want to go with the flow on this one.

It'll make things a lot easier.

-Oh, good.

It's you.

-Hey, how's your head?

-Oh, you know, it's got a little crack in it.

-Yeah.

Look, I'm done with this.

And I'm going to put you out your misery.

[CHUCKLES]

-Maybe it's for the best.

-Yeah.

Well, when I kill you, it's going to be personal.

So, um, you ever heard of a little thing

called a slug monkey before?

-You're going to have to remind me.

Is that with the, um-- with a triple--

-Yeah, no.

That's where I stick my hand down your throat

and I pull out your innards through your big fat fucking

mouth.

-That sounds harsh.

-Yeah.

Well, man, you have no idea.

-OK.

OK.

Oh, hey.

Oh.

-Thorn.

-We have a lot to talk about.

-Good god.

Yeah, look, I'm-- I'm kind of in the middle of something right

now.

So--

-It'll only take a sec.

-I thought you were dead.

-I'm not.

-You are blessed, my man.

You have no business here.

You don't belong here.

You were banished.

-My own brother let me die.

-Yeah, well, here you are.

-Well, it's payback time.

-Listen, I'm stronger than you.

You think there's honestly anything you can do to hurt me?

I warned you.

[CHUCKLES] Your spine is going to look

so great in my collection.

Identical.

[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]

-I think this is yours.

-I love it! [LAUGHS]

-Is this the radio room?

-Benny, do you think-- you actually

think for one second I would bring you into the radio room?

-Well then, would you please just stop wasting my time?

I'm really not here to--

[SPLASH]

What is that?

-Oh, you mean the gasoline?

-Oh, stop it.

That stings.

-You like that?

Hey Ben, I gotta tell you something.

I saw a picture of the prophecies.

And you know something else?

I found something absolutely fascinating in them.

You know what it was, Benny?

It was your destiny, Benny.

And it said, Benny burns to death.

We don't need a unified America.

There's a reason why the empire fell.

And, Benny, it's going to sting.

And that's why.

-I've travelled 3,000 miles to kill Benny,

and I'm not going to let you do it for me.

T section, attack!

Hans, set an example.

-For fuck's sake, Jackle.

-Girdle, earn your umlaut.

-Mr. Jackle.

-Come on, Bock.

Go.

Go!

Aw.

Watch your step.

No.

Yeah-- OK.

Ha.

Oh, shit.

Jackle.

[SCREAMING]

-OK, so that didn't work so well.

[MOTOR REVVING]

[YELLS]

-Let's just get out of here, OK?

-OK.

All right.

Let me take hear head.

[YELLS]

-So explain to me.

You came all this way to get this guy.

And now what?

[YELLING]

Shut the fuck up.

[SCREAMING]

Fuck.

Oh, Benny. [SCREAMING]

Not the fucking eye.

Benny, god fucking damn it.

I told you thousands of time, and you

through your fucking bullshit prophecies

that Tex is the only one that can take me down.

And Tex-- he's dead.

-I got you, didn't I?

Huh?

First time.

NARRATOR: And even as he was defeating the spawn of Satan,

Tex had the sinking feeling that this was all too easy.

-Whoa.

-When Yorick died or went back to hell or whatever,

the children of the second sun became vulnerable

for the first time in 20 years.

Now they could be hurt again.

Now they would have to age like everyone else, which

of course was extremely poor timing for three of them

in particular.

[YELLING] [SCREAMS]

-Fuck.

I can't--

-Franklin, what's the problem?

-[INAUDIBLE]

-Heal up.

Let's go. -It's not working.

VERONICA (OFFSCREEN): What's the hold up, Franklin?

-Back off, Veronica.

-It's not healing, Allison.

-Yes, I am.

I am. I am.

It's just it's taking some time.

-I see a little bit, OK?

It looks like he's healing a little bit just

around the edge here.

-Tell us, Franklin.

-Shut up.

Shit.

-[INAUDIBLE] and we have to turn him in, you know.

If he lost the faith, and he's not chosen anymore,

then we have to let him go.

-No one is turning anyone in here.

-You stick with him, this is your problem.

And I don't give a shit.

I'm going to go tell Yorick.

You decide whatever you want to do, but he is not worth it.

[SCREAMS]

-You know, you're really playing with fire here.

[SCREAMING]

-OK.

All right.

Hey, Jackle.

-Hi.

-You look like shit, man.

You gotta-- you gotta give this up.

-Yeah, you know, it's not my fault that your dad hated you.

-Benny.

-This is exactly what I need right now, fellas.

Please, can you just please get me down?

-I think we're going to have to leave you here.

-I swear, this is-- I will stomp your children.

-OK.

Well, um, I gotta go find Sue.

So, uh, you know, keep it strong.

[SCREAMS]

Sorry.

I'm just going to-- I'm just going to go.

Benny, if you don't mind.

-Little girl.

You're a little girl.

You're a little girl.

You're a little girl.

[SCREAMING]

NARRATOR: Javier Castro and the battered robot Yul

made their escape from the borders of New America.

However they would later return, bringing with them

New America's first foreign ally, the lost island of Cuba.

-That's right.

Ever been to Havana, my friend?

Beautiful.

-Uh, Sue?

Hey, Sue?

Ah!

Son of a bitch.

Hey.

Ah, gross.

-How'd everything turn out up there?

-Uh, you know, a lot of pain and violence.

Satan was there.

-Things are about to get a whole lot better.

-OK.

OK.

Just, uh, you got-- you got something on your face.

NARRATOR: And so, as the first phase of our nation's birth

draws to a close, Tex Kennedy, having set forth

the events that would lead to the rise of New America,

could finally focus on his initial objective,

leading Benjamin Remington to the radio tower,

broadcasting his voice to all of New America's borders

and exalting him as the new king.

However, as we know, history has never

progressed quite according to plan.

-All right.

We gotta rethink everything.

We gotta regroup.

First of all, has anybody seen Yul or Quincy?

-Where the hell am I?

-Benny, I just want to be the first one to apologize.

We completely underestimated this entire deal.

We tried to play nice.

And we've done nothing but get kicked in our asses.

But I swear to you all right now that we've

got it all under control, and there's not

going to be any more surprises.

MAN (ON RADIO): I pray now as this day

has reached its conclusion--

-Oh, what is that?

MAN (ON RADIO): --that somewhere over the vast deserts and wide

valleys--

-What is that noise?

MAN (ON RADIO): --over the tall mountains and blue waters--

-Who is that?

MAN (ON RADIO): --that my voice reaches you all

and gives you comfort.

NARRATOR: And so, the radio tower

sprang to life for the first time in three decades.

And the worst fear of Tex Kennedy was realized.

-The future is now, ladies and gentlemen.

I will lead this handful of brave men

and brave women into the breach of the unknown.

I may not have a million mindless drone soldiers,

but we have the spirit that made this nation great--

-Wow.

You see, I-- I didn't see that coming.

MARCELLUS (ON RADIO): --three centuries ago.

This message is for the oppressors--

-If it's not one thing, it's another, right?

MARCELLUS (ON RADIO): --who have shut down

every element of humanity that we inherently hold dear.

-I'll go with you.

-No, no no, no.

Just-- just go get Benny, OK?

-What if he's dangerous?

-Listen, he's not.

And anyway, I can't have my girlfriend fighting for me, OK?

It's goddamn embarrassing.

MARCELLUS (ON RADIO): I say to you

now that this is the beginning of the end--

-Is any of this ever going to get any easier?

MARCELLUS (ON RADIO): --that the revolution

will begin here upon this soil.

-All right.

MARCELLUS (ON RADIO): And then it will spread like a glow,

illuminating the hearts of the masses of the masses of those

who have toiled without the benefit of justice or freedom.

We are the future.

We are the hope.

I give you, throughout the world, notice

that the nation of New America has been born

and that the people of this nation will not bow down,

will not cower.

And I will be there every step of the way.

Finally, I call to the people of New America.

It's time to be proud.

The road is before us now.

And anything is possible.

[PANTING]

-That was pretty good.

I was gonna say a lot of that stuff myself.

[CHUCKLES]

That's a climb, huh?

Well, um, we got it all under control here.

So if you just want to go back downstairs,

I'll just take over.

-Tex, everything's just been set in motion.

-I-- I'm sorry.

Who the hell are you?

-I came up today with Vincent.

-Ah, did you?

Yeah, Jackle.

He's having a bad day, huh?

-Where are your little robots?

-Um, uh, got me.

I lost them a while back.

-You came up here alone?

-Listen, would you just get away from the microphone, man?

-You shouldn't have come up alone, Tex.

-OK.

OK.

I get it.

Just-- that was, what, 30 stories?

OK.

[PANTING]

-No reflex, as usual.

[GROANING]

-All right.

Relax.

That was good, man.

That really hurt because that rib was broken already.

You know, to your credit, a very small guy,

but, uh, you got a pretty powerful-- yay.

[LAUGHS] I can be fast too, right?

Oh, and he's not even limping.

That's awesome.

-Your purpose has more or less run out in this whole thing.

I'm going to have to let you go.

But please understand that this is all for the best.

-Well, I am great, huh?

That's, uh-- that's good, actually,

because now I don't feel like quite such a pussy.

Easy.

Easy.

-Your spirit is pretty good.

But you're just thinking too small.

And this situation is infinitely bigger than you can imagine.

[LAUGHS]

-You hear that?

First click.

[GROANS]

That's two clicks.

Die!

-Really, I don't hate you, Tex.

You should just pass out and let this

happen without all the pain.

-I take pain for a living, pal.

I'd bet on me at this point.

-I knew you had it in you.

[FEEDBACK]

-Check.

Check.

One, two, three.

Check.

Ladies and gentlemen of New America, this

is Tex Kennedy, your Vice King.

[DOOR CREAKING]

In just a few moments, I'm going to let

you hear from your new king, Benjamin Remington.

So, you know, stay tuned for that.

But first of all, I just want to let you all

know that this new nation does not have to be afraid anymore,

because a new tomorrow is dawning.

And I just want to promise each and every last one of you

that the world's about to get a shit load brighter.

[RADIO STATIC]

[MUSIC - POLAROID KISS, "DAY TO DAY"]

[MUSIC - PRESERVATION HALL JAZZ BAND, "BILL BAILEY"]