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You get engaged and you can kiss them.

First you have to get engaged in order to kiss someone.

- Those are the rules. - We know.

If you kiss someone

instead of getting engaged first, what's easier?

- Is it good? It feels good.

It feels like you're in love.

Oh, my goodness.

- They are hot. - They're freaking engaged.

What happened?

You guys are so cute.

It's, like, gross, I want to throw up.

- That's after the drinks. Speaking of...

To Abby and Matt on their engagement.

- Oh! - Oh.

May you be each other's silent guardians

and watchful protectors.

You may not be the couple that New York deserves,

but you're the one it needs.

- Cheers. - Cheers!

Did you just quote The Dark Knight?

Uh, did I? I was just riffing.

Hmm. OK.

Now we know who's not giving a toast at the wedding.

Or speaking at the rehearsal dinner.

Or doing talking of any kind.

- Uh, rude.

Matt, I'm still your best man, right?

Dude, you know I have three brothers.

They love you because they have to.

I love you because I choose to.

- I'm gonna get shots! - Yeah.

Thank you. What a good guy. Not the best man.

- Sorry. I'm sorry. You guys are amazing.

I can't believe you flew all the way out from LA for this.

We did and we just... and we came here for this.

That's it, nothing else,

because that's what best friends do and stuff.

You got Hamilton tickets, didn't you?

Second row. Supposedly Aaron Burr spits on you.

So... does it feel any different?

It will when Matt's lease is up and he moves in next month.

- Finally. - Finally.

OK.

Oh, shot, shots.

- Thank you, sir. - Thank you, thank you.

Oh, cheers.

- Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. - Hmm.

Guess who's at the bar.

Oh, shit. That's Kenzie Scott.

Is it just me, or is she moving in slow motion?

She's definitely moving in slow motion.

She's in town shooting a Tarantino movie.

Wait, I thought she was doing the new Christopher Nolan film.

She's doing both at the same time.

Dude, take your shot.

Yeah, right. What would I even say to her?

- I meant your tequila shot. - Oh.

Uh, but... you could go talk to her.

- She's definitely on my list. - Hm-hmm.

What list?

You know, my celebrity free-pass list.

Since when do you have a free-pass list?

Oh, my God. You two haven't spoken about this?

Well, I don't, like, actually have a list.

But if I did, Kenzie Scott would be on it.

You don't need a list to want to be with Kenzie Scott.

True, dat.

Like if Oscar Isaac walked into this bar right now,

we wouldn't be having the same conversation?

Well, Oscar Isaac is different.

- He's Oscar Isaac. - Uh-huh.

Kenzie Scott is just such an obvious choice.

I didn't realize there were bonus points for being original.

I don't know, I guess I just expected

someone with a little more personality.

I think maybe our lists mean different things.

OK. So, who else is on this list?

I... don't really know. Who else is on yours?

I don't really know, either.

All right, that's it. You guys are making lists.

OK, so the celebrities should be enough of a reach

to feel like a fantasy...

With a hint of achievability.

- Nick Viall. - That guy from The Bachelor?

- Yeah. - Which season?

- Like, all of them. - No, no, no.

There are no vetoes.

For Jack Black there are vetoes.

- No. - Of course he wants Jack Black.

- Mark it down. - Wrong.

Wrong?

- Wrong wrong. - Kung Fu Panda.

- Emily... I'm sorry Emily who? - Raja... Rajatowski.

- That was so close. - No, it wasn't.

- Ratajkowski. - Ratajkowski.

You can barely pronounce her name.

So, what's that matter with her?

- Literally nothing. - Hm-hmm.

- That's what's up. - Yes.

- Chloe. - Hmm?

You have been silent.

- Who is on your list? - Tessa Thompson,

Margot Robbie, Selena Gomez, Halle Berry, Sarah Paulson.

- Mmm. - That's a really good list.

Ryan Reynolds, Adam Levine, Steph Curry,

Chris Hemsworth, Harry Styles.

Wait, I thought you only get five.

Five from each side.

- Standard bi perk. - Oh.

Ladies and gentleman, that is how you do a list of strangers

you want to sleep with. Chloe, ladies and gentleman.

You're so far away.

- ...to be a part of? - Oh, she's in it.

All right, so it is "Char-lize."

It is not. It's "Shar-lize."

All right, "Shar-lize Ther-on."

"Shar-lize Ther-own." It's a very famous woman.

No, I don't think that's right.

- I think it's "Sharlize." - I don't know what to tell you.

Like "throne." "Therone."

- Yes, "Therone." - Is she the queen?

I don't know what that means.

- Hey, you gonna be OK? - Yes.

Yep, we'll take her home. Girls' night must carry on.

It's gonna be so much fun

carrying you both up the flights of stairs when we get there.

Three flights of stairs.

I do, I really do. I believe you.

All right, guys. I'm gonna walk back. Congratulations.

Good night, bro, thanks.

- Bye. - Thanks very much.

- Ouch. Oh.

- Bye, babe. - Bye. Love ya.

- Bye, ladies. Bye.

All right. You in? OK, bye.

Oh, shit, sorry.

Uh, no, it's OK, you take it.

Where you headed?

Ooh!

OK, just a teensy bit higher.

Just a... No, no, no, just a little lower.

Yes. Yes.

- It's back in the same spot. - It's perfect.

I'm gonna go check on those cake balls.

Oh. No. Chelsea. No, that's for later.

- It is later. - Look, I know Abby's late,

but we're all just gonna wait for her before we dig in.

Mmm, sorry, no. Five-second rule.

That's not what that means.

Really good.

OK.

And if we keep up our energy,

our focus, our drive,

then together, we will build something truly special,

here in our beloved New York.

Thank you.

- Thank you, everybody.

Mayor Capozzi. I had some thoughts

on your global warming speech.

That's not for three months, Abby.

Trying to get a head start.

- Isn't your bridal shower today? - Yes.

But that doesn't start for... ten minutes ago. Shit.

Not to worry, I've got you covered.

Thank you, sir.

C Train should get you there in no time.

Good luck, Abby.

- She's working, isn't she? - Working? Uh, but... No, no.

Uh, she is... she's actually getting a blow-out.

Chloe, we both know my daughter

doesn't take time to blow anything.

- Uh, what? - Hi.

I don't mean to cause alarm, but the gelato is melting.

You mean the ice cream?

Yes. It's like ice cream, but it's, um, from Italy, so...

Can't we just put it back in the freezer?

Yes, perfect. Or we could use the back-up gelato.

Hmm!

There's back-up gelato? I...

- Oh, my God.

Abby, where the hell are you?

We're on the back-up gelato,

Chelsea keeps eating all the cake...

- Who's Chelsea? - I thought you invited her.

Oh, OK. Let's go.

Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for coming,

and for celebrating with the bride-to-be, Abby.

We have a little surprise. Before Matt gets here,

he wanted to share some of his favorite moments with Abby.

And because he wants everyone to see, he, uh,

just posted a little trip down memory lane.

Hi, everyone. Hi, babe.

Uh, before Abby and I walk down the aisle,

I thought it would be fun to retrace the steps

that led us here to this moment.

And it all started here, in Washington Square Park...

...where Abby and I had our first kiss

while she was still in law school.

And this is our bar.

Our Thursday night spot where everybody knows our name.

Hey, dipshit, you gonna order?

He's talking to somebody else.

This is where I asked Abby

to make me the happiest man in the world.

Figured if she said no, I could just... jump off.

Oh, he, uh, he's going live. This is unexpected.

You are seriously the luckiest guy I know.

Yeah, she is pretty perfect.

She's not pretty perfect, she is perfect.

She is perfect. She is a ten. You're like a three, at best.

Maybe a four with a good filter.

All right. Thank you.

She's a "swipe right," you're a "swipe left,"

and then again to make sure it takes,

and then throw your phone in the river

and burn it to make sure it doesn't work.

OK. I'm sensing a little jealousy here.

I don't know too many people

that get to be with someone so, I don't know, famous.

Still seems crazy to me too.

You definitely checked the best name off your list.

I mean, she's like a movie star

and not just any movie star but the movie star.

- I'm the one who saw her first. - This is not working! Shit!

Come on. Seriously, man. I cannot believe that you...

- Fucked Kenzie Scott!

Uh...

I can't believe you.

We're supposed to get married in three weeks.

- Can we not do this here? - Oh, I'm sorry.

Let me know a more appropriate venue

to discuss you fucking Kenzie Scott.

You were not supposed to find out this way.

Was Kenzie Scott going to jump out

of my wedding cake and tell me?

Matt, there you are. Hi.

I know you were excited about the cake balls.

Did they bring them out on time?

Why don't you ask Kenzie Scott?

Sounds like she's been handling the balls lately.

Matt, were your balls handled OK?

OK.

Abby, listen to me, it was just a one-time thing.

Was this that night at the bar?

The fucking night we got engaged.

I thought it was OK because she was on my list.

Matt, we made those lists

when we were drunk celebrating with friends,

and five minutes later you're crossing off names?

If it was reversed, you wouldn't have done the same thing?

No! No! Because I would never do something like that to you.

- Well, maybe you should. - What?

Maybe you should sleep with a celebrity too.

- And then we both did it. - Both did it?

This isn't like getting matching tattoos.

Wait, where are you going?

- I can't do this right now. - Will you please come inside?

Is that a question or a request from Kenzie Scott?

Abby. You got a sec?

- Come in, sit. - Hello, sir.

So, you've been working on this speech for three days.

Yes, sir. I put some real sweat into that.

Yes, I noticed the ink smudges.

- And is this blood on page four? - Oh, no, that's ketchup.

Wait, page four?

- Yeah, that's blood. - Yeah.

Abby, I don't know the best way to say this,

so I'm just going to say it.

This is the worst thing I've ever read in my entire life.

- Oh, boy. - The rhetoric is contentious.

You typed half of it in caps.

And you used the phrase, "End of the world as we know it"

four times. No, five.

I was, uh, really trying to hammer home

the gravity of the speech.

I'm delivering this at a pre-school.

I'll get started on a new draft.

Yeah, about that.

I haven't told many people this yet, but...

I'm about to announce my bid for president.

- Sir, that's... that's amazing. - Yes, it is. For me.

Abby.

You've written every word

I've spoken in public for the past two years.

And I think I know you well enough

to know when something's not right.

And with campaign season right around the corner,

everything has to be.

So, my campaign manager is bringing in Avery Gordon.

- Avery Gordon. That's amazing. - Yes.

Again, for me.

Sir, are you firing me?

Well, technically, Cindy from HR will do that,

but, yeah, I'm letting you go.

Take care of your personal life, Abby.

The writing will come back.

Oh... So, so that's it then?

Well, there's quite a bit of paperwork

you'll need to fill out, but yeah.

Right.

Oh, and, Abby, one more thing before you go.

Shred this for me, will you?

Run it twice through. We can't risk it getting Argoed.

That would be bad.

Yes. For you.

My life is over. I've wanted this job for 20 years.

You wanted to be a speech writer since you were seven?

Now it's gone.

All because my fiancé slept with Kenzie fucking Scott.

Hey, you're gonna get through this, OK?

We just gotta figure out what the next step is.

I was thinking that too,

so I started coming up with a new list.

- OK, good. - Grease fire. Pool of acid.

- Wood chipper... -"Ways Matt should die?"

How is this productive?

There's some good ideas on there.

"Trial by combat with The Mountain?"

This is not productive.

Remember when Sam broke up with me?

I was hung up on her for weeks. But I got over it.

You still masturbate to her porn doppelgaänger.

And it's been really helpful with the grieving process.

Leave the bottle. People don't do that in real life.

You know what?

Maybe you just need to get away for a little while.

How about you come stay with me in LA?

I can't go to LA. I'm getting married in three weeks.

Are we still doing that?

I don't know. We just have so much history together.

I guess I'm just not ready to call off the wedding.

Then don't, and come stay with me.

I mean, what better way to clear your mind and figure things out?

Besides, when was the last time you even took a vacation?

Chloe, I had a job. I couldn't just tell my boss

"Hey, I'm taking time off to unwind and relax.

Hope my job's there when I get back."

That is literally what a vacation is.

Oh.

Abby, I think this could be really good for you.

You're doing this.

- OK, fine. - Yes!

Wow. I didn't think that was gonna work.

- Great. - Whoo!

Abby, it's Matt again. I'm so sorry.

Please, I just need to hear your voice.

Al fresco. You can't really do that year-round in New York.

Perfect weather...

A plant wall. I'm already getting positive vibes here.

Hey. Everything OK?

Soup's cold.

It's gazpacho.

Well, then it's too hot.

Come on, Abby.

I promise this trip

will help you clear your mind if you just let it.

In fact, this is gonna be our spot.

You and I are coming here every day.

You know what? This place sucks.

- Maybe we should just... - No, it's totally fine.

It's not like the billboard fucked my fiancé.

You really... She doesn't eat carbs. Sorry, guys, sorry.

- Can we get some more bread? - OK, let's go.

We'll pay for that.

Indoor dining. This is where it's at.

More intimate, no large signage, the acoustics are predictable.

- Are you sure you're OK?

Wait, did you take another one of those pills

I gave you on the plane?

Yeah, I'm OK. I'm way OK.

- Uh... - It's fine.

Oh, OK, um, we are gonna go. We're gonna go home.

- Shh. - Oh.

OK, we are going now. Let's go.

Psst. It's Nick Viall.

Great. The guy from The Bachelor. Can we please go?

Maybe Matt's right.

Maybe I should sleep with a celebrity on my list.

Why are you talking to a complete stranger?

What would you even say to him?

I'm a speech writer.

Sorry, was that the entire answer?

I happen to be a ninja with words.

Abby, you write speeches about curbing carbon emissions.

The only guy that gets turned on by that is Al Gore,

not the guy from The Bachelor.

Hey, are you guys ready to order?

Excuse me, sir,

do you see that fine gentleman just over yonder?

- She's British? - You mean Nick Viall?

- Do you think I have a shot? - A shot at what?

You know...

- Oh. Oh, uh... Oh.

- Sexual intercourse. - Yeah.

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Celebrities are just like normal people.

Cool.

We're just gonna need a minute to go over...

- Oh. - ...her life choices.

- Yeah, take your time. - Thanks.

- Chloe, this is happening. - Oh, God.

I have three weeks before my wedding,

I'm gonna sleep with a celebrity from my list.

That is a super-weird thing to say.

- Here I go. - Oh.

- Ooh. - OK.

Please don't grab a flower. Please don't grab a flower.

- Excuse me. - And she grabbed the flower.

- Nick. - Oh, boy.

Will you accept this rose?

That's a daisy.

- You're so funny. - Well, I know my flowers.

Well, I just wanted to come over here

and let you know that...

you are on my list.

- Your what now? - You know, my free-pass list.

Like we could...

Oh, your list. Wow, this is really happening.

Um, I don't mean to be rude.

But thanks but no, thanks. I'm kinda off the market.

See, that's the great thing about the list.

- Hm-hmm. - Nobody gets in trouble.

I really don't want to know what that means.

It means I'm here for the right reasons.

OK.

- And the wrong ones. - OK, um...

I think this might actually be working.

I told you. They're just like everybody else.

Wouldn't you have to be on my list too?

Are you saying I'm on your list?

- I'm saying you're on a list.

Except for her.

That is Nick's girlfriend and she is not like everybody else.

- Hon. - What's going on here?

- Hey. This is, uh... - Looks like fun.

- Abby! - Her? What do you mean?

That's Leyna Stone. She once stabbed a waiter with a fork

because she didn't like the way he poured her water.

- Come on, that can't be true. - Oh, yeah? It can't be true?

- Look at this. - Oh, shit!

Abby was just trying to sell me candy.

Uh, no, I was trying to screw you.

Yeah, you were.

- Ten dollars for M - OK.

I'll melt in your hand

- and your mouth. - OK.

- Hmm. - And I'm done covering for you.

All right, are you seriously trying to sleep with my man?

Ah, well, they don't call me "Downtown Abby" for nothing.

- I thought it was "Downton". - Let's go to the fantasy suite.

All right. Can somebody get me a fork please?

- I'm going in. - Yeah.

Leyna. Nick. Hi. Real big fan of your journey.

Sorry to interrupt, but I'm just gonna steal her away for a sec.

- Thank you so much. - Just a second.

What are you doing?

I was about to seal the deal here.

- You're embarrassing yourself. - I'm embarrassing myself?

You know what? That's it. I've seen enough.

I think I should give you guys some... Oh!

- I am so sorry. Oh, my God.

I wouldn't worry. It's just water, it'll come right out.

- It's not even on me. - It's on me.

It's on me, babe. Come on.

Eye contact. We talked about this in therapy.

- I love you. - OK.

You look great.

Real ninja with those words there.

Hey. I think you guys left this.

- Um, that's not ours. - It's not?

Shit. I think I just stole Leyna Stone's purse.

I'm sure Leyna has plenty of purses.

Oh, yeah. Is she gonna be OK?

Yeah, she's fine. We owe you one.

Well, for what it's worth, I did think you had a shot.

Thanks.

- I should go back in there. - No!

God, no.

- It's OK. That way. - Thank you so much.

OK.

Hi! Let's just go over the changes you emailed me, OK?

Um, so you want to incorporate some darker hues.

Shouldn't be a problem.

You want straight vodka for the champagne toast.

I like your style, girl.

And then you want to walk down the aisle

to Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Getting Back Together".

- Ever. - Excuse me?

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."

Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. "Never Ever." Got it.

Hi. She's gonna call you right back.

You're doing a great job. Thank you so much. Bye-bye.

- Oh, my God. Thank you so much. - I love the gardenias. OK, bye.

Hey, no more drunk emailing the wedding planner.

- I can't help it, Chloe. ...for you this morning.

Kenzie Scott is in the studio.

So, everyone's talking about that cave scene.

Hm-hmm, yep.

- It's not for the squeamish. - Shit.

- No. Which includes me.

You know, I get light-headed from a paper cut.

Oh, let's just move these away then.

- So, I hear you're single now. - Hm-hmm.

And we all want to know, what's Kenzie Scott's type?

Oh, well, I wouldn't say I have a type.

I do usually go for, you know, tall, athletic...

Gotta have a sense of humor. Am I right? Oh, and, um...

I love it when a guy is in a relationship.

Especially if he's engaged.

There is just nothing hotter than sleeping with a guy

whose fiancé is totally clueless.

Oh, and the best part is when she finds out

at her own bridal shower.

Right, Abby?

- Huh. Abby...

Abby. Abby!

Are we good on the self-torture?

Am I right?

Do you really think I had a chance with Nick Viall?

Uh, sure.

In some alternate universe where you don't OD on sleeping pills

and Leyna Stone doesn't try to kill you. Why?

Well, everything's always been about either my job or Matt.

Maybe it's time I finally do something for myself.

What are you saying?

I have four names left on this list.

If I'm going to sleep with a celebrity,

we better get started.

This just got sexy.

- Ooh! Oh, yeah.

OK, first things first.

As hard as it is to become a celebrity,

it's even harder to sleep with one.

Right.

The point is, we need a damn good plan.

I'm talking Navy Seals storming the Bin Laden compound.

This has to be surgical.

Yes. If only we knew someone in LA

who gets paid to work with A-list celebrities.

We are not calling Sam.

Your ex-girlfriend is a talent agent.

We're trying to sleep with talent.

We don't need help.

Did Luke Skywalker need help to blow up the Death Star?

Yes. From Han Solo and, like, 30 X-wing fighters.

Not to mention the old guy

who basically told him when to shoot.

OK, just... Just trust me, OK?

Remind me. Who else is on your list?

Mac West.

Action star Mac West

is blowing up the box office yet again

with his new flick "I'm Dead When I Say I'm Dead".

Just know, I'm out here getting it done.

Was that thunder? Y'all heard that?

Cooper Grant.

Sexiest Man on Earth Cooper Grant

was spotted on the red carpet last night

sans his sidekick Ari Miller,

sparking rumors of a rift between these two best buddies.

Avon.

Emo rapper Avon is on the top of the charts

and taking out the trash

with his sleeper hit "Stare You Down To Doggtown".

And of course, Oscar Isaac.

Abby, we need someone more attainable.

Uh, well, there's always Jack Black.

Still vetoed.

We're gonna need more coffee. This is gonna be a long night.

Hm-hmm.

I find it kinda weird you had all this yarn in your apartment.

What... What are you doing?

It's six a.m.

Check it out.

That is Oscar Isaac on his #weeklyspinclass.

So, if you want to get "Inside Llewyn Davis", we gotta move.

OK.

I don't see him. What exactly is the plan?

It's fine. We have six other studios to try.

If he doesn't show up,

we'll just sneak out before the class starts.

Go ahead and claim a bike, girls.

- Actually, we were just leaving. - Sure you were.

Come on, ladies, hop on.

Girls, I have never had a quitter in my class

and I'm not about to start today.

All right, everybody...

it's time to grind.

Sorry.

How do you get your feet in?

Let's push it.

Only 40 minutes left.

Forty minutes? Are we time traveling?

That's 40 opportunities

to do better than the loser you are right now.

We're not moving. We're just here. We're never leaving.

Mommy!

You're the hill. You're the hill.

And climb. And climb.

- Time. - Oh.

Oh, God. OK.

- Come on. - What? Why are you stopping?

Next class starts in five minutes.

Oh, legs weren't ready.

Press in. Press in!

You're not pressing in.

Wake up!

You're a bad, bad man.

If you chose easy, you chose the wrong door.

Glad to see you girls are back for round two.

Uh-uh. What did I say about quitters?

Hey. My favorite customers.

Hey.

I didn't really peg you guys as the spinning types.

Are you kidding? This is our fifth class today.

We love health.

Nice. I try and take this class every week.

- But it's hard to get a bike. - Why's that?

Oscar Isaac joins this class sometimes.

But he's not here this week so... lucky you.

Yeah. Lucky us.

All right, everyone. Mount up.

Lucky number five.

- Oh, OK. - OK.

- Yay.

Your feet aren't even in the pedals.

You're literally not moving your legs.

And time.

Great job, Jake.

I think you guy's bike was broken.

It says you only moved 40 feet.

Oh, shoot.

Hey, do you still owe me one?

Oh, I can't, I'm sorry. I have to go ice my vagina.

- But maybe she can. - Well...

My friend was supposed to help me

with some photography work

but he just canceled.

What exactly do you need me to do?

You're up, New York. Let's see what you got.

All right, folks, can I have everyone take a few steps back?

We need to clear this one area. Thank you.

Excuse me, ma'am?

Is this the part of the tour where we can ask questions?

Uh, what?

Who was the first star on the Walk of Fame?

Great question. That would be Marilyn Monroe in 1957.

Part of Hollywood's celebration

of strong female leads in American cinema.

Says here it was director Stanley Kramer.

- Where'd you get that thing? - All right, I think I got it.

All right, folks. Uh, thank you for your patience.

Feel free to walk around, take in the sights.

And you might want to return that guidebook.

So you let some air in, cork the bottle,

and then give it as a souvenir?

Yeah, that's what the pictures are for.

- So, you're selling air? - No, I'm selling a novelty.

- Made of air. - OK, listen.

People are always rushing from place to place.

Sight Sealing forces you to stop,

literally take in the air around you,

and you can preserve the moments

that you want to hold on to forever.

You've rehearsed that before, haven't you?

Like, a thousand times. How'd it sound?

Impressive.

Good. I've been using it at all of my pitch meetings.

Wow. Any luck?

They want to launch in New York,

but it turns out there's all this red tape

for using images of landmarks.

Yeah, they can be pretty strict about that.

OK, so I gotta ask, the thing at the café the other day...

My fiancé slept with Kenzie Scott.

Kenzie... The actress Kenzie Scott?

She was on his free-pass list.

And apparently he took it more seriously than I expected.

And so now you want to get with someone on your list?

When you say it like that...

I just think when your heart's broken,

you'll try anything to make it whole.

Oh, no, yeah, no, I get it. My first love broke my heart.

- Oh. - I'll never forget it.

- I was in third grade.

I'm serious. Cheryl Conley.

We were supposed to meet me by the slide during recess.

I searched the entire playground for her.

And I found her holding Jared Kay's hands on the swing set.

I haven't been on a swing set since.

That is tragic.

So, uh, who else is on your list?

I'm not going through my list with you.

Why not? We could go back to Hollywood Boulevard.

- You could practice

on a celebrity impersonator. I could be your wingman.

- Hey, Chloe. - Hey. OK.

So, I did some research

and it turns out Cooper Grant is huge into CrossFit...

Chloe, Chloe, I appreciate what you're trying to do, I just...

- I don't think it's working. - Yeah, you're right.

Back to the drawing board. I'll pick up some more yarn.

Actually, I made an executive decision

and called in some reinforcements.

No, you didn't.

No, no, no, no, no.

- Hi, guys. - Hi.

I'm just gonna send this email really quick.

Don't rush me, don't rush me. Hold on.

All right, just one second, one second.

Just gotta send this email.

OK. What exactly do you guys need my help with?

Oh. First of all, we don't need your help.

We are perfectly capable, strong, independent women

and I'm doing just fine on my own.

Are we still talking about my thing?

Yeah, let's do you first.

Right. OK, so you know how we made

those celebrity free-pass lists?

- Well, Matt slept with his. - Like, under his pillow?

No, no, he didn't sleep with his list.

- He slept with Kenzie Scott. - You're kidding.

So now I need to sleep with a celebrity on my list.

That's so shallow. I love this for you.

And I need your help.

Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no.

Sam, you're a talent agent.

So you know how one might get in the same room

as, say, Cooper Grant.

Cooper Grant? Yes. Half the population

is trying to sleep with him.

The other half is trying to fuck him.

There are more achievable names on the list.

- Who? - Don't say Jack Black.

Mac West.

I love you guys, but good luck. Bye.

Make sure Rachel validates you.

I told you she couldn't do it.

Excuse me?

Oh, uh, nothing. I was just telling Abby

that there's no way you can get to someone on that list

because you're not powerful enough to do it.

Hold on.

I can get to these people.

I can get inside these people if I wanted to.

- That's not the problem. - So, what's the problem?

The problem, Chloe, is

I don't want to be an accessory to celebrity stalking.

OK. We're wasting our time here.

Wait. Wait, just wait.

Everybody just relax. Just take a breath.

I happen to know Mac West is in town filming a commercial.

But you can't just walk onto the set.

OK. Why don't you make her, like, a writer or something?

Sure, Chloe, I'll make her a writer.

And tomorrow, I'll have her producing,

directing and starring in the next Bond film.

- We'd like that. - Cool.

Oh, my God. You're so adorable.

The AD there happens to owe me a favor.

I can probably get you on set as a PA.

- Great. What's a PA? - You'll love it.

This is our tenth shoot together.

You know what I like to see.

- I won't let you down. - New girl, where's my coffee?

In your hand.

Patty, what hand do I drink coffee with?

- The left. - Efficiency.

If we waste time doing this, we fail.

Patty's the key PA on set.

Follow her lead.

Hey, I remember my first day too.

I've pretty much done it all since then.

I've been grip, key grip, dolly grip.

- Shit, I've even been grip grip. - Grip grip?

- I move the other grips around. - Right.

Stick with me, you'll be OK.

- Thank you. I appreciate that. - Absolutely, absolutely.

OK, now real talk, you little punk.

You obviously knew someone or blew someone

in order to land a PA job last minute,

but I haven't been doing this for 20 years

to be shown up by some wannabe Greta Gerwig hot shot.

Now, you stay out of my way or I will sink you like the Titanic.

Capisce?

Can we start over? My name's Abby. And I...

Abby? I don't like that name. I'm gonna call you Short Stack.

Uh, I'm... I'm average height.

Uh, yeah, yeah. Soaking wet.

I think we got off on the wrong foot.

Oh, what foot was that? Four foot?

Get to work, Frodo.

Oh.

I could dunk on her.

I wanna be able to eat off of it, Short Stack.

Why would you wanna eat off a wheel?

- What was that? - What?

Patty, I'm gonna need you to get Mac to the set in five.

Copy that last transmission.

Just need to deploy the wardrobe and I will pick up Bald Eagle.

Back to one.

Who are these people?

- Hey. Uh... - Oh.

Do you need a ride?

Oh, I thought Patty was driving me.

Well, Mr. West, there's a new Patty in town.

Hm. Your name's also Patty?

Uh, no. Well, I see

how that actually could've been confusing.

I'm... I'm Abby, the other PA.

Oh. Can I still call you Patty?

- I don't think that's really... - Thanks, Patty. You're a doll.

OK. Um...

You know, I have to say, I'm a huge fan.

I mean, when you jump off of Pennington Tower

just as it explodes

and you're dangling from the string.

You've got this huge firehouse...

I do all my own stunts, Patty.

Come on, I'll take you to set.

- OK.

Real Patty briefed you

- on driving this thing, right? Um...

Whoa! Let's keep this under a cool five.

Uh, there's really only one speed.

Whoa, whoa! Speed bump, speed bump, speed bump.

Let's note that for the ride back.

This coffee tastes different.

That'd be my special blend.

A dash of cinnamon with some hazelnut.

Did you say hazelnut?

You got that right.

It's my gammy's special recipe, actually.

Dash of cinnamon with a little hazelnut.

But it's really more like a cup of...

- I'm allergic to hazelnut. - What?

- Uh...

- I think my throat is closing. - What do we do?

- Do you have an EpiPen? - No, but I have a Bic one.

- A what? - A Bic one.

- Trach me. - Trach you?

I'm not traching you!

- Come on, Patty! My throat... - Oh, my God. OK.

Oh, my God, this is happening! One, two...

- What the fuck are you doing? - ...three!

- Real Patty. - I've got your EpiPen.

- Assuming the position.

I'm doubling up!

- What is happening?

Oh, Chloe. Well...

At least it didn't mention your name.

Is there a reason why we're meeting Jake

on some random street?

He said the food is to die for.

Whoa. OK...

- Hey, guys. - God.

So, Celso is gonna whip us up

some of the best empanadas you've ever had.

- You ready? - Oh! So sorry, Celso.

Yeah, we didn't mean to assume.

That's not Celso. We should go.

- Yeah. - I kind of peed a little.

Oh, yeah.

Mm. Mm.

- Mm! - Mm!

Holy shit.

Oh, yay!

Mm.

It's almost as good as the street meat in New York.

Yes.

Did you just compare LA's best empanada

to something called street meat?

Have you ever tried it?

No. No, I've actually never been to New York.

- What? - Wait.

You're starting a souvenir company

and you've never been

to the world's biggest tourist destination?

My parents traveled a lot, just not with us.

I always thought Sight Sealing would sort of be my way

to see the rest of the world.

I'll tell ya what.

When you make it to New York,

I will be your official tour guide.

Deal.

Didn't you get us lost trying to find Central Park?

- That was one time. - The Central Park?

- The big one? - Yeah.

Yeah, it's, like, in the center.

- Whose side are you on? - And it's a park.

- One time. One time.

That was one time!

OK, I believe you. Jesus.

Don't you dare.

I need another one.

Look at you, all smiles.

They were really good empanadas.

Right. Must be the empanadas.

Nothing to do with the cute guy who's clearly into you.

We're just hanging out.

Abby, I haven't seen that look since your ninth birthday

when you got that Barbie Dream House.

God, I loved that house.

Here we go. Who ordered the tres leches cake?

- Oh, no, that's not ours. - Shit.

- She's kidding. - Oh.

I guess Chloe's can go in the trash.

Don't you dare!

- Oh, uh, it's Sam. Hey.

- Sam? - My ex-girlfriend.

She's, like, obsessed with me.

I got you into the A-List Film Awards.

The ALFAs? Are you serious?

Tomorrow, you will be at the same event as Cooper Grant.

So, am I in the audience or something?

Uh, yeah. Kind of.

What do you mean, kind of?

Your role as seat fillers

is to do exactly as the job title says.

Fill seats.

Take a look out at the theater. Look at the theater. OK?

See all those empty seats? Those are the enemies.

But that makes you the...

heroes.

OK, well, before we run some routes, I wanted to...

Excuse me, are you practicing sitting?

Huh? No. Not me.

- Do you not know how to sit? - No, that was her.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Let's go ahead and get ready for tonight, all right?

When I'm walking, you follow me, all right? Come on!

Thanks, again. Thank you.

Wait. Shouldn't you be at this thing?

Yes.

I should.

Hmm.

Why am I so nervous?

Do you want me to tell you everything will be fine

or do you want a list of things that could go wrong

that are actually making you nervous

because, I mean, I can think of, like, 73 things...

- Please stop talking. - OK.

We've got an open next to Keanu. Keanu, OK?

We got, uh, some squirming next to Cooper Grant over here, OK?

I see a possible bathroom break happening here.

Um, OK. Let's get into position.

Who's on deck? OK.

Hi. Uh, excuse me. Do you mind if I take the next one?

Short Stack.

Patty. You're a seat filler too? You weren't at the rehearsal.

Well, you can't rehearse perfection.

What are you doing here?

I didn't realize they hire booster seat fillers.

- Seriously, I'm average height. - Yeah.

What'd you get nominated for? Best Short?

Let me show how you it's done, kid.

Sorry, Patty.

Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.

- Oh, cute dress. Excuse me. - Ow.

- Hello. Oops. Yeah. OK. - Wow.

I'm gonna just...

All right. Oh. That's your shoulder. Ooh, OK.

And now we bid farewell

to the bright stars we lost this past year.

Uh, Stephen Mills. I loved that guy.

- Huh? - Oh, Stephen Mills.

Right.

Is that your acceptance speech?

Yes. But I doubt I'll be reading it.

You're right. Denzel's got this locked up.

I never really know what to say in these things.

Well, um, if you need help,

I'm... I'm kind of a speechwriter.

- Oh, yeah? - Hm-hmm.

When you're not dominating musical chairs tournaments?

A seat filler joke. That's good.

No, but really, I write speeches for the Mayor of New York.

- Really? - Hmm.

Wow. I love that guy's speeches.

- Really? Shh.

Well, Speechwriter...

maybe you can tell me if this is any good.

Keep in mind that, in some alternate universe,

I may actually have to give that speech...

I'd cut the last two lines.

- What? - And move them to the front.

Uh, the first thing you say sets the tone for the entire speech.

It's your hook.

Oh, and this. This is good.

Uh, do you have a pen?

And the nominees for Best Actor in a Leading Role are...

- Cooper Grant, "The Hedges". Oh, my God. That's her!

- How did she get next to him? - That's it. It's done.

OK, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I'm a glass-half-full kinda gal.

Oh, really?

You think sitting next to someone

is halfway to sleeping with them?

- What? - Quarter full?

What?

- Denzel Washington... - What? What?

Get over there.

- I'm just kidding. - And the ALFA goes to...

Cooper Grant, "The Hedges".

- OK. She looks like his wife. - We did it.

- Wow. - We did do it.

Wow.

When I heard my name just now, I thought,

"That's a weird way to pronounce Denzel."

So, this...

This one's for you.

- I wrote that. - Thank you very much.

- Hey, speechwriter. - Hi.

- We did it. - Ah!

Shall we celebrate?

- Yes. - Come on.

Hi, Abby, it's Matt. I think I just saw you on TV.

I'll do whatever it takes. Please don't shut me out.

Well, this is my flat.

Looks pretty three-dimensional to me.

Right. OK, I'm gonna hang my jacket up.

- Be back in a second. - OK.

- Bonjour, darling. - Oh, my God.

Sorry. Didn't... Didn't mean to startle you.

Or did I?

Ari Miller?

Oh. You've heard of me?

Heard of you? Your movies are hilarious. You've...

You've been nominated for Best Actor three times.

Was I? That's right, I was.

Oh. I see you've met my very well-dressed housemate.

It's Ari Miller.

I knew you guys did those Undercover movies together,

but you live together too?

- That's so cool. - Yes. It's so cool. Very cool.

It is so cool, isn't it?

That we live together.

Well... - So cool.

Yeah. - Very cool.

Um, are they just giving those away these days?

Oh, hi.

I'm just kidding. That's... That's awesome.

That's so awesome.

Plus you've almost caught up to me in nominations.

You know, not... not quite, but who's counting?

Um, anyhow, we were just about to head out.

Actually, do you wanna hang out here for a bit?

I'd love to see the rest of the house.

I'm actually making some spaghetti bolognese

if you're interested.

I've had it. Say you're a vegan. I'll show you around.

OK. Um...

- Vegan. - What was your name again?

Bye.

- This is so crazy. - What is?

Well, it's just...

You think that some people exist

on different planes of the universe,

and then you get in the same room as them

and... turns out they're just as down to earth and normal as you.

- Oh, so I'm just... just normal? - You know what I mean.

Sorry. I just have to ask.

Did you know that I lived with Ari Miller?

No. I had no idea.

It's just...

Most girls, they come back here just to get close with Ari.

- You're kidding, right? - No. I completely get it.

The guy's basically like a Greek god.

Which... Which god, exactly?

Oh. Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

I didn't realize you guys were in here.

Don't mind me. I'm just gonna, um, use the tub.

- Huh? - Why?

Do a little splishy-splashy.

Can you not splishy and splash in your own bathtub?

I... I... I could.

You have your own bathroom.

I'd rather use this tub. The water pressure...

OK.

He just, like, wanders in.

It's, like, how do I compete with that?

- I sincerely have no idea. - Oh, this was such a bad idea.

I shouldn't have brought you here.

Hey. You are Cooper Grant.

You were on the Sexiest Man on Earth list eight years in a row.

- Who likes him more than you? - You mean besides Scorsese?

That was such a small part.

Well, bigger than your no-part, now isn't it?

- Oh! - You know what?

- OK. What?

That is it. I've had enough.

I'm sorry your girlfriend's been ogling me all night.

I have not been ogling anyone.

Were you ogling him?

I don't even know what ogling means.

What are you gonna do about it, tough guy?

- Oh, no.

- That is it. - Hey!

Guys?

I don't think this is appropriate.

So, tell me everything.

I just... I just wanna get some sleep.

Wait, no, wait. I want some details.

No... You don't.

Wait. Did something weird happen?

You could say things got weird...

when Ari Miller showed up.

No way. Ari Miller? He definitely has BDE.

So, what happened?

Cooper, he...

He pulled an ALFA out of his ass.

Yeah, I totally agree. That ALFA was Denzel's to lose.

No, no.

Cooper literally pulled an ALFA

out... of Ari's ass.

I always wondered what they did

with those things after they won.

I'm going to bed, and we are never speaking of this again.

Is this a bad time to talk about the next guy on your list?

Probably a bad time.

Mr. Mayor. Oh, sorry. Do I still call you that?

Well, I'm still the mayor, Abby.

Right. Of course.

You know, we've tried out

three different speechwriters since you quit.

Actually, you fired me.

Details. I like that.

Having you gone has made me realize something.

- I've missed ya, kiddo. - I've missed you too, sir.

Here you go. Want your truck?

I was just saying hi to my son. Sorry. Did you say something?

Uh, no.

Listen...

It just hasn't felt the same with you not around.

So, I need you to do something for me.

- Anything, sir. - Get that sweet ass over here.

I guess I could catch a red-eye.

What was that? I was just saying hello to the missus.

Oh, nothing.

Abby, nobody knows my voice like you do.

I want you back to write the speech

that launches my campaign.

Uh...

So, what do you say?

You ready to sit at the big-boy table?

- Abby? - Oh, you're talking to me.

Yes. I'm in.

Great.

I'd like to see a draft next week at the kickoff meeting.

See ya, buddy.

Hey.

I was starting to think you weren't gonna show up.

Sorry. Rough night.

Hmm. Try being a server at a Real Housewives reunion.

You ready to go?

I think you've seen The Goonies too many times.

- You good? - I'm a New Yorker.

I walk 30 blocks to work every day

in three-inch heels. I'm good.

Well, I hear you, but...

hiking in LA is a bit different terrain,

so you gotta watch every step.

I used to hike up the Adirondacks

with my dad every summer till I was 17.

- Really? - No.

OK.

I honestly have never even thought about it.

Every guy has a list.

I had a shot with J.Lo once. She was on stage

and I was in the nosebleeds.

But there was definite long-distance eye lock.

You think this whole thing's stupid?

I think everybody has a fantasy

about spending a night with a celebrity.

But I think finding someone

to spend the rest of your life with, that's...

that's the fantasy.

Oh. I almost forgot. I have something to show you.

Sight Sealing's first prototype.

I like it. - Yes?

Yeah. - Yes.

Well, I hope Vanderton Capital likes it as well.

I have a pitch meeting next week.

After that, I don't really know.

Well, I think it's great.

And that's coming from someone

who's had very few moments worth saving lately.

I wouldn't give up.

- What? - We just met and...

you're already making me believe in things

that I was starting to doubt.

Your company?

Your company, actually.

Just being here with you.

Forgot how nice it was to have a moment worth sealing.

You think this is one?

I honestly can't think of anything better.

Wow, you're really done, huh?

It probably wasn't the healthiest way

to deal with things.

Is this about Matt or Jake?

I don't need to chase celebrities

to prove something to myself.

Abby Meyers, I am proud of you.

All right. So, now what?

Well, I'm supposed to see Jake tomorrow night.

That's great. Amazing. Fantastic.

Wonderful. Love that for you.

Are you OK? You just turned into a thesaurus.

Yeah, it's just, um...

Sam and I have been spending a lot of time together

and now I'm worried that because you're done with your list,

I might be done with the one girl on mine.

Sam's here.

OK.

So, I know my leads have gone cold

- but they just got hot again. - What's that now?

Just invites to the hottest party in town tomorrow night.

A certain rapper by the name of Avon

is rumored to be in attendance.

- Yeah, Sam, about that... - Can't wait.

Perfect. I will go confirm all of us.

Hm-hmm.

I thought you were done with the list.

You've been my lifeline for the last three weeks.

The least I can do is be yours for one night to win back Sam.

But you have plans with Jake tomorrow.

I have all weekend before I leave.

We're confirmed.

Whoo!

Are you sure?

Can't pass up a shot at someone on your list, right?

- Whoo! - Yeah!

- Are you ready? You look good. - I am. Thank you.

You're really sexy when I drink.

Oh!

I think that sounds like an insult,

but I'm sort of OK with it.

- I'll go get more then. - Yep. Yep.

You get many, many more of those.

Go, go, my little angel face.

It's like the old Sam and Chloe.

I know, right?

Thank you, by the way.

I mean, this means so much to me.

- Cheers to you guys. - Cheers.

Thank you.

Abs, Chlo. - Yeah?

Avon's right over there. You gonna go talk to him?

It's why we're here.

- Yeah. - Hm-hmm.

- Then go over there. - Right. OK, yeah.

Now. Got it. Yeah.

She's making me nervous.

- You did really great. - Thank you.

OK.

Hi. I'm sorry. Oh.

Hey. I know this sounds really weird,

but I need you to go along with it.

Excuse me?

I need you to go along with what I'm about to do.

Do you have a bomb strapped to you?

What? No.

Cos you're kinda acting like someone

who's got a bomb strapped to them.

No. I don't have a bomb. It's just... I'm trying to...

Don't look at them. I'm trying to help my friend

get back together with her ex,

so I need to pretend to hit on you

because you're on my free-pass list.

Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this?

Just be cool, OK?

Cool.

She's totally doing this. I wanna hear it.

- No, you don't. - Yes. We'll be chill.

Yeah.

We do share the same zodiac sign.

What's with the voice?

You're talking so loudly all of a sudden.

You're doing the bomb girl thing?

- You're... - I think you're da bomb too.

- Right, um... - Yes.

Has my heart known love till this night?

That was so good.

In touching her, make blessed my rude hand.

Did my heart love till thee? Forswear it, sight.

- For I ne'er in truer beauty... - Let's go over there.

- ...than now. - Did you just quote Shakespeare?

- Yeah. No good? - No. Really good. They're gone.

Oh. OK.

So, I gotta say, I get hit on a lot,

but never pretend hit on.

Oh. Well, thanks. I owe you one.

So, I didn't get your name.

Abby.

Abby, Abby, Abby.

It's just nice to know the person

who's got you on their free-pass list.

- Yeah. - You know what I'm saying?

Um, you're on my list, but I don't want to sleep with you.

Wow. You managed to objectify

and reject me all in one sentence.

- Shit. - What?

No, no, no. Don't. Don't look.

My ex is coming over here right now

and she'd get really pissed if she saw me here with someone.

So, pretend you're with me now.

- Like we just did? - Not at all like we just did.

- OK. - Just follow my lead.

- All right. OK. - Come here.

Hey, you.

Avon, didn't know you were here.

Usually you demand they play your music all night.

Oh. I don't demand it.

- The public does. - Hmm.

Meet my girlfriend, Abby.

Hi.

Kenzie Scott.

- Nice to meet you. - I didn't know you two dated.

"Dated." It was barely a month.

One I'm still trying to forget.

Don't worry, I pretty much forgot it right when it started.

I can't believe he slept with you.

Excuse me?

Thought we were following my lead.

We were engaged.

Wait, you two are engaged?

I think what she means is that

we are engaged in the first stages...

We were supposed to get married next week.

Or not.

What exactly are we talking about?

We're talking about you sleeping with my fiancé

because you were on his stupid list.

Who's your fiancé?

The guy you slept with in New York

when you were out there doing those two huge movies.

- Matt? - Yeah.

He was engaged?

I'm sorry.

Look, if I had known, trust me,

I would've spared my Louboutins the climb to his walk-up.

Don't worry. Just a marriage ruined for some fantasy night

with a medium-talent actress

who's only relevant because of her...

very, very pretty face.

OK. You know, I'm on a lot of people's lists.

So, maybe instead of pointing the finger at me,

you should figure out why your man acted on it.

- Hurricane Kenzie. - Hmm.

Always leaving destruction in her path.

Cute new girlfriend.

- Yeah, she's great, right? - Hmm.

You OK?

Did I drive Matt away?

No, no. Don't start with that, OK? None of this is your fault.

I just feel like every decision I make is the wrong one.

Look, I get it. I've been there.

You feel totally lost and then something happens,

and suddenly you're not.

Hey.

Hey, I'm really sorry about what happened back there.

Not what I was expecting, but sure.

Is this why you canceled?

- Jake. It's not like that. - It kinda looks like that.

- Kinda felt like that. - Avon. Not helping.

So, this is the guy you're marrying next week.

You're still engaged?

You and Matt like to chase after celebrities so much,

maybe you two belong together.

Jake. Wait, I... I should go.

- Um, great lips. - All right.

Jake.

You have a fascinating love life, Abby.

Jake.

Jake.

Please call me. I really want to talk and explain.

I leave in a few days, and...

Hey, Abby.

Hi.

Could we go somewhere and talk?

Uh, yeah.

Sorry for surprising you like this.

You weren't picking up any of my calls.

Our wedding planner called yesterday.

She was checking on the set list for the band.

- About the wedding, I just... - Wait.

Just before you say anything.

I just...

I don't want this to be the thing that ends us.

If there is any small part of you

that still wants to marry me,

please give me a chance to make this right.

Why would I do that, Matt?

Because even if you don't think I deserve a chance,

we deserve one.

Five years.

We were together for five years.

And what? You throw it for a stupid one-night stand?

Look, if...

If you decide that you don't want to speak to me again,

I'll respect that.

But then I want the last thing

you hear from me to be these vows.

Because whether we get married or not,

this is how I will always feel.

"Abby, when we first met, it was love at first sight.

Then over the next few years,

I learned that the only thing better than love at first sight

was love at every sight.

- You are a perfectionist."

"And somehow, I still managed

to get you to say yes to marrying me.

So, I know now

that I don't have to be perfect for us to be.

But I will spend the rest of our days trying to be for you."

Do you really mean all that?

Every word.

I just... I just don't know if I can go through with the wedding.

We will push it off.

Abby, we have the rest of our lives together.

That's the part that I wanna get right.

OK?

OK.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

OK.

We will figure it all out when you're back in New York.

- Sorry. I'm just not ready. - It's OK.

Hold me.

Goodnight.

Came all the way out here,

you still can't escape a walk-up, huh?

So, everything with Kenzie Scott

happened the night we got engaged?

You really wanna talk about that right now?

Well, I just realized you were living in your own place then.

The high-rise.

Yeah. So?

I just ran into Kenzie at the party,

and she mentioned you having a walk-up.

I...

It wasn't just that night, was it?

It was also at our place after you moved in.

How many times did you sleep with her, Matt?

Abby, I'm sorry.

- I can't believe you. - I promise. It's over. Abby.

- Fuck. Fuck.

Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?

- Uh... - You can't just throw rocks.

You could've hurt someone.

I mean, they're pretty far away.

I'm sorry!

Go.

Anything from Jake?

Maybe this is just a really twisted road

to you ending up with Oscar Isaac.

Chloe, I never really got a chance to thank you.

Abby, you're my best friend. You never have to.

Plus, selfishly, I had no chance

to get back with Sam without you.

I always knew you two would end up together.

No, you didn't.

Literally was expecting a restraining order.

Yep. That tracks.

What's for breakfast?

Oh, the Chloe Breakfast Special.

- Mmm. I love Cheerios.

Anything you want to do before your flight today?

Not to be boring,

but I think I'm just gonna get to the airport early.

I have a meeting for the mayor when I land

and I haven't even thought of the hook for his speech yet.

Oh, shoot. That reminds me. Um, where...

Oh!

This came in the mail for you.

Holy shit, he did it.

Let's clip in, everyone.

You again.

Maybe the Mommy and Me class is more your speed.

- But I'm not a mom. - I was thinking more the Me.

Hey.

- Look, I really don't... - No, hey. I get it.

But I just, I really don't like

how things went down the other night.

It's fine. And honestly, what you said...

- Was totally out of line. - No.

You were right.

I was avoiding the real reason Matt did it.

Turns out, it's because he's an asshole

who never really cared about me, so...

You girls recognize these?

They're called seats. Now take one.

Isn't Jake usually in this class?

Hasn't missed one in two years.

Said he had some kind of meeting.

The Sight Sealing pitch.

All right, everyone. It's time to grind.

Need a ride?

- Really? - Come on.

We'll be like Thelma and Louise.

Don't they drive off a cliff?

I can get you there in 15 minutes.

Great. OK.

OK.

So, where are we going?

Vanderton Capital. - Here we go.

Sight Sealing forces you to stop,

literally take in the air around you

and preserve the moments that you want to hold on to forever.

So, it's just...

- air in a bottle? - Uh...

Yes. Yes, but the air is a novelty.

But ultimately, it's ten bucks for a bottle of air, right?

I just want you to know

that if I'd had any idea he was in a relationship,

- there is no... - Look, Kenzie Scott...

- Just Kenzie's fine. - OK, Kenzie...

Mm, actually, can you do Kenzie Scott?

I do like it better.

Are you sure we're going the right way?

I feel like we passed that gas station.

Yeah, but the last time we passed it,

it was on the other side.

It seems like it would be more successful in New York.

- Why not launch it there? - Uh, yes.

Uh, I thought about that.

Um, it's... There's... a lot of, like, bureaucratic red tape

in New York with the landmarks.

You know, it's the, um...

I agree. Yeah, it would... It would...

It would do well in New York.

I did think of that. Um...

Honestly, I'm past all of it.

My mind's on other things now. That's what this is about.

All right. Then go get him.

Wait. Why are we stopped?

Oh, yeah, we've been here for five minutes.

Jesus!

I agree. I think it would be smarter

to launch in New York and California.

Sorry to interrupt but I have something

that will make Sight Sealing

an even more compelling investment.

Mr. Barbiero, what is this?

I'm sorry. I couldn't leave without giving you this.

Hey. Hey. Abby.

You forgot this.

You're Kenzie Scott. Oh, man.

- I'm a huge fan. - Oh.

You were great in that cave movie.

Thank you.

- Abby, what are you doing here? - I spent the last few weeks

chasing some stupid list

instead of seeing what was right in front of me.

Excuse me. What is this?

This is written permission from Mayor Capozzi for Sight Sealing

to use any New York City landmark.

- What? - And that's just the beginning.

Let me tell you something about this man.

He is not just a visionary.

He is the most passionate, yet grounded person I have ever met.

And I have seen him take a company

that was utterly lost and broken

and give it purpose again.

And sure, maybe that company was a little misguided

in trying to sleep with famous companies

to get back at the evil company it used to be linked to, but...

Are they still talking about the bottles?

- Who knows? - You have a choice.

Do you wanna invest in a startup

that will take the souvenir industry by storm?

This could be the very moment that defines the future of...

What's this firm again?

- Abby, they already said yes. - Wait, what?

We're launching with the Hollywood Air bottle next month.

What do you think about

also launching the Empire State Building bottle?

We'd have to talk about increasing the seed money.

Get the fuck outta here. Sorry. Yes.

Yes. Amazing.

What the hell are these things?

Um...

I can't believe you got the mayor to do all this.

Kind of a big deal.

Hey, did you...

Did you... Did you really mean everything you said in there?

Of course.

You know I was the company, right?

You were? Of course I knew.

Did somebody say, "Race to the airport?"

No, no one said that. I'm gonna call a car.

Smart. I probably shouldn't drive

since I don't have a license.

- Abby. - Yeah?

The car pickup is on the other side of the building.

OK, OK, OK.

- So many stairs! - I know.

Short Stack.

You gotta be kidding me.

OK. All right.

Don't worry. I got it.

- Wasn't worried. - Yeah.

You need a child seat back there?

Hey. I hope you made your flight.

Sounds like I'll be coming to New York soon.

Can't wait to see some of your favorite spots.

Oh, and good luck at the big meeting.

If it doesn't go well,

I can always barge in and save the day,

because, you know, I guess I owe you one.

Please turn off all electronic devices.

Once airborne, the captain will let you know

when you can use approved electronic devices.

Please review the in-flight magazine

for a list of approved devices.

They never hold the plane for me.

Sorry?

They delayed us to let someone on.

I mean, it must be someone important.

Excuse me.

Hi. Is that Oscar Isaac in first class?

We're really not supposed to say.

Oscar Isaac? Oh, my God, he's on my list.

- What list? - You know.

My list of celebrities I can sleep with.

I didn't know you had a list.

Of course I have a list. Monogamy 101.