Original subtitles

Executive Producer: LEONARD HO KOON-CHEUNG

Producer: COREY YUEN KWAI

Planning: WU MA

Production Manager: JESSICA CHAN PUI-WAH

Executive Planning: WOO PO-CHIU & SHUM CHI-LEUNG

Screenplay: SHUM CHI-LEUNG

Story: TOMMY SHAM SAI-SHING

Starring: CYNTHIA ROTHROCK, CHIN STU-HO

Starring: MANG HOI, ELIZABETH LEE MEI-FUNG

Director: MANG HOI

Here, I'm returning the sisters to you.

How are you? Haven't seen you in five years.

You kept them all so skinny.

You're really mean!

And you're still sarcastic!

Before you left last time, you forced me to be a "turtle lady" (bawd)

I did you a favour by bringing back a few of your children.

Do they look like me?

The movements are similar, why else would we call you "elephant"?

Forget about it!

That was my nickname as a child.

Call me that now and I'll turn hostile.

I like it.

"Elephants can dance, monkeys can climb trees, and do somersaults."

How comfortable.

Bathing straight off the plane.

Is water regulated in America, or are you trying to save on your water bill?

I've got an important work interview to prepare for.

Not for taking part in Miss Hong Kong?

Sure, but my assets aren't as good as yours!

You're so bad! You got me all wet!

Hello?

Daddy!

It could have been anyone you just called "Daddy".

How did you know you got the right number?

Daddy, I recognised your silly voice.

You said you'd accompany me to the Bar Association party.

I can't, my classmate just arrived from America.

I'm going to eat with her.

Ah. Male or female?

Half and half.

Bitch! "Half male, half female?"

That's all!

- OK, I promise it'll be done. Don't fret. - May I ask where Miss Miu's office is?

- May I ask—? - Take this over for me.

Our column will be launched next week.

Please give me more resources. Thanks.

May I ask where Miss Miu's office is?

I expect this batch to be printed on time.

Miss Miu, there's a Miss Cindy to see you.

Ask her to come in.

- Thanks - You're welcome.

You came back from America to apply for this job.

I understand your ambitious foreigner mentality.

Everyone here wants to make a buck.

But, this job requires drive.

Also, one must be a bitch to be successful.

I know, all scoops must be responsible, it's quality, not quantity that counts.

Don't worry about hurting others if the news is valuable.

Seems Miss Miu must have reported many scoops to be able to sit in this position.

Hope you find a scoop soon.

Ask Big Talker to come in.

Boss, the draft is almost done.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm introducing you to a new partner.

Who's a shit?!

Long time no see! You still like to say "oh, shit"?

So you two know each other?

- Oh, sure. - Show her around, then.

This here is our newspaper office.

As the name suggests, you must report everything to me.

And I'll take care of everything.

Now, don't think that helping me in front of Miss Miu makes you my benefactor.

Now to help you find your way;

when you do something wrong, you have to admit it, OK?

Come this way.

Now, this is the photo lab... for brewing milky tea and coffee.

We can go in and make coffee anytime.

Hey, yellow squares!

- What about yellow squares? - Yellow squares mean "keep out!"

- Oh, that means no one can enter? - Sure, but not you and me.

The boss, the owner, the senior editor...

- anyone else enters, they'll be fired! - Hey, Big Talker Chung!

There's a fire in Diamond Hill. You better hurry up and go!

So what? Better it burns to the ground!

Hey, you're so ruthless!

It's important for a reporter to be bitchy, ruthless, and thick-skinned.

The way you look, you're likely to take the blame.

Pfft, it's not that serious!

Now, you go to the front, I'll do the logistics.

Come on!

My daughter's still up there!

I have to save my daughter!

Daughter!

Mummy's here, daughter—

A child!

Step aside, someone needs rescuing. Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Wow, what luck! We're first on the scene.

Let's take shots from different angles.

Then we won't have to bother with the next one.

The China Daily's counting on you!

Let me dash into the fire to take some pictures.

With so many whores coming and going, of course, it'll catch fire!

The "Blonde Pussy" plots against me?

Whoa, there really is a blonde pussy!

This picture has flesh and blood. The China Daily is saved!

Did you get scared? Don't be afraid.

Wow, maternal love is truly great!

Tai Bo, take a few more pictures.

- You want to take pictures of me? - Miss, don't worry!

Even if it get's published, we'll cover your eyes.

- Don't you worry! - No worries, shoot what you want.

And such a nice smile.

Miss, you're really open-minded.

Most of your colleagues refuse to appear in the paper.

No big deal. It's important to be recognised in our line of work.

I often send pictures to the weekly mags.

Oh, so you're a porno mag girl!

Daughter, you're alright!

- Take her back. - Thanks a lot!

Hey... isn't that child yours?

Don't misunderstand. My career has just begun.

Now isn't the time to have a baby.

Whoa, did you have to end up like this?

It's alright, I'm fine.

Sorry, I'm going to work now.

- Hey! - What??

- You want her to work like this? - She's being paid, she should work!

Have you no humanity? You force her to work looking like that!

Oh, it's no big deal. It's my job, I have to do it.

Did you hear that? Mind your own business!

No way! I can't stand it! I won't let you do it with him.

Oh, then if not me, should she do it with you?

What?! You take me for an international whore-hound?

- Any chicken (whore) will do? - Right!

What's this talk about chickens?

You think our newspaper sells chickens?

Newspaper? So you're a colleague?

I thought you were a whore!

- Hello, China Daily. - This is the telephone company.

If you don't pay the phone bill within three days we'll cut the line.

Cut it, then...

Tell him to cut it. The boss will cut his wrists, eventually.

Thanks!

Ah Sze, something useful.

A dismembered corpse case!

Whoa, isn't that trivial?

- Move the knight back. - Sha Tau Kok.

Whoa, so far?! I'll sit askew first.

If you don't go, how do I explain it?

That's easy.

- Male or female? - Female.

Siu Wong!

Is there anything to gain from following that foreign lady?

She risks her life, we can't fail.

Whoa, shooting a dismembered corpse case?

Smart-ass!

Not going to the scene? That's just being lazy!

What? You're damn right! We haven't been paid in two months.

What should we do, then? You tell me...

- Crazy! - That's right!

I know that Ah Hoi's experience is the same as ours.

Now, the director's your dad.

It's better you step forward and tell him to his face...

- not to delay our wages any longer, OK? - Sounds good!

Our livelihoods rest on you.

-I... can't do it! - You can do it!

Well, today's the deadline.

If you don't pay us by tomorrow, you won't have a newspaper.

Even the toilet paper will be taken!

Alright, then...

So, it's a deal. The paper will be delivered on time.

What an inconvenience! I've been forced to lie.

Sit and drink some tea.

Dad.

You can talk about anything other than money.

I'm not talking to you about money, I'm talking to you about wages.

I told you not to talk about money!

Did I say I wouldn't pay them?

You never said you would pay!

Paying our wages will make everyone work harder and boost morale.

Morale can't be bought with money, it comes out of pressure.

Our sales have fallen to the bottom in Hong Kong.

Dad, I figured a way out.

It's possible to hire first-class talent without paying first-class wages.

You take me for a first-class idiot?

I'd just follow the reporters from the Asian Post and steal their news.

Don't talk nonsense! You'll wish your dad into an early grave!

We're working against the clock.

Will you miss the date?

We never miss our dates. Don't you worry.

They're waiting inside for the paper.

- Hurry up! - I'm coming!

Bro, I'm working non-stop and need to catch my breath!

I just finished work upstairs and am now dead busy down here!

Don't you want to get off work?

Where are you going after work?

I'm playing mahjong with Ah Leung.

You'll surely lose. Why bother playing?

You have a rotten mouth!

Hide things immediately. I saw someone coming in.

Hey, clean it up!

After her!

Over there!

Catch her!

What's your status, then? Are you here showing off?

So, what's your status?

Undercover detective.

I want to see Superintendent Melvin Wong, right now!

You what?! Am I not the superintendent?

Does it look like it?

Would I lose face?

I've notified my superior at the FBI, he'll telex you to explain.

You're using the FBI to intimidate me?

Listen, I, Melvin Wong, don't get scared.

Let me tell you...

This tongue of mine is top of the class when it comes to bootlicking.

How else could I sit in such an elevated position?

Here... look at my ass! It's big and round.

How else could I sit so comfortably?

If my eyes see something that doesn't look right...

I'll just pluck it out!

You may look good, but still aren't a patch on me, Melvin Wong!

Boss, I'm talking shit!

What a brilliant speech!

I'll take it for my opening remarks at the next social gathering.

I...

I... what? Your tongue isn't hard enough.

Buy a bottle of Indian God Oil and rinse your mouth out.

Harden your tongue and lick my boots clean.

I'll go buy it now.

On the way, buy a knife and return to the countryside to peel potatoes.

Miss Cindy, be careful what you say...

because you must bear responsibility.

- Then you must be... - I'm Melvin Wong.

I just received a telex from the FBI that has confirmed your identity.

I also know that counterfeit banknotes are the purpose of your investigation.

But this case is being investigated by the Hong Kong police.

We need no help from an American Rambo!

We Americans are very enthusiastic.

We also intervene in other countries.

But Hongkongers are used to Hong Kong people ruling Hong Kong.

There's no need to intervene.

Miss Cindy, don't you forget.

Legally, there's no diplomatic relationship between the USA and HK.

I don't need your approval to come here and study "50 years unchanged”, right?

Unchanged is fine, of course.

But if there are changes, I won't be so polite.

By then, you'll be ready to spend 1997 in Hong Kong.

That's a pity! My Visa is only for 30 days.

Boss, someone came yesterday.

Not sure if it was a burglary, or if they were investigating us.

Fortunately, I found out in time.

- Where is he now? - He got away.

Bullshit!

But, Boss... don't worry.

I've moved the base to another location.

That Prosecutor Yu seems sure he has a lot of evidence against us.

It's very simple. Invite him here for a discussion.

Boss, don't forget...

Last time you offered so much money, but he wasn't buying it.

People have been known to change over time.

Who in this world doesn't like money?

But this guy seems to have a grudge against money.

Is there anyone who doesn't like money?

Boss, don't you think it's a waste to burn millions of banknotes like that?

I do business with "the real thing".

I don't permit my product to have any defects.

Although we're printing fake banknotes, we have to do it just like the real thing.

Isn't it better for us to behave honestly?

- Boss! - What is this?

- This is my own money. - Your own?!

I spend more money than you use toilet paper!

Hello!

- Yeah, what's up? - I left the pink file behind.

Well then, Daddy, do you want me to bring it to you?

No need, I'll come back for it.

OK, then! Come back and get it.

Who's a good boy?

Daddy, take it!

You're too much!

What have you forgotten now?

Oh, it's you!

When did I become your daddy?!

Don't you have to work?

I no longer work there.

Like I said, you often change your mind.

You think I want to?

I'm forced to go back to the USA in two days.

What? You said that you'd be a reporter for at least a few months.

You asked me to help you find a maid, and install gas and telephone.

Now everything is cancelled?

Judy, I said I didn't want to. I've been forced.

Why are you giving me this file?

Missy, the file belongs to my daddy.

Sorry, I'll pick it up for you.

Judy, change quickly. Let's go for lunch.

Alright.

- Judy? - Missy?

- What is it? - Does this file belong to your dad?

Of course, it's Daddy's. Would it be mine?

Turns out, Uncle's investigating them.

What the hell is wrong with it?

You're just staring at it.

My daddy was dumbstruck looking at it.

What a mystery!

Here, that's our target, Prosecutor Yu.

Hello, Tai Bo?

I've followed Blonde Pussy to a villa in Kowloon Tong.

Come quickly.

What? A villa in Kowloon Tong?

Is there a sex scandal?

No! It's the residence of a wealthy family.

I think she knows the people here rather well.

- What should I do now? - Keep a close eye on them.

Find me resources, by hook or by crook!

Are you kidding me?! Can you even drive?

- You trying to kill me? - Please, excuse me!

Sorry, did I scare you?

Lend me your ears. Come closer...

Now, even when ready I scared you, let alone when unprepared.

Bullshit!

Excuse me, I'm in a rush to get to the court.

If everything's alright, then...

Oh, you must be a judge!

Excuse me, I'll wipe the car clean for you.

No need...

Drive carefully.

Get out...

Take off the plaster.

- You recognise me? - So it's you again?

You brought me here to negotiate terms? Bribe me, perhaps?

Are you the prosecutor?

Yes.

I say you're lying.

This is my court of law.

I'm the prosecutor, you're the defendant.

Do you know what crime you've committed?

I'm the Hong Kong District Prosecutor, authorized by the British Privy Council.

Responsible for enforcing Hong Kong laws and protecting the interests of citizens.

I wouldn't commit a crime.

I charge you because of your profession,

because you're the prosecutor breaking my laws.

You're wasting your breath.

I've already gathered all the evidence of your crimes.

Unless you kill me and burn all my files.

It's not up to you whether I kill you or not.

I'm the judge!

Although the mouth is used to chew,

you must be clear about whether you're biting something soft or hard.

If you mistakenly bite the wrong thing, you may end up losing your teeth!

I, having summarized the statements from both prosecution and defense,

find the prosecutor insane and incoherent.

This has the potential to mislead the jury's verdict.

Therefore, I suggest that the prosecution has wasted taxpayers' money unnecessarily.

The case is dismissed.

This is a criminal fraud case against the defendant Wong Dak.

He is suspected of tax fraud amounting to 500 million dollars this past year.

The inquiry is now underway.

The prosecution will question first.

Prosecutor Yu, please cross-examine the defendant.

Please state your name.

Wong Dak.

- Louder. - Wong Dak.

Liar! You're not Wong Dak.

Your Honor, objection!

Objection overruled.

Continue.

Where can you usually be found?

- My office. - Liar!

You're trying to deceive all mankind.

Your base is in Uranus, isn't it?

Your Honor, I object!

This question has nothing to do with the case.

Objection overruled. The defendant will answer.

My office is on the top floor of the Financial Center.

You still want to lie?

Your ambition is to invade earth and destroy mankind.

I could recognise you even if you turned into dust.

Your Honor, I object!

Objection sustained.

Prosecutor Yu, you must present strong evidence

that proves the defendant isn't Wong Dak.

But, he's... the skull-headed monster I often see it on TV!

He's wicked, everyone knows it!

Prosecutor Yu, please consider your question carefully.

Don't forget your own identity.

Of course, I know my identity.

Who are you, then?

I'm He-Man!

This is a courtroom. Please don't play games in here.

I understand. The judge told us not to play in here.

Let's go out into the garden and play.

Let's go...

We humans don't all need to go to Uranus to play.

Let's go.

The facts of the case are complicated. I declare the hearing adjourned.

Case adjourned!

No comment... Please excuse me, thanks...

Everyone, Prosecutor Yu is unfit to talk.

Please make way.

- You recognise me? - Excuse me, please.

I'm the one who's ass you hit yesterday.

I saw you were taken in a car. You recognise me—?

Look... Look at it, you bastard!

You're an embarrassment to me!! You want to be "The Chinese Hero"?

Dad, I told you last night, but you wouldn't believe me.

He was the man being kidnapped.

No reason for him to go mad in one day. Something fishy is going on.

Even if there is something fishy, what's it to do with you?

In that case, if I investigate it'll cause a sensation.

Tea? Pu'er or shoumei? Right now, the police don't care.

What can do you, then?

Fine, go and investigate!

No need to be mad at me. I have to investigate this.

Investigate all you want, but don't report imaginary numbers.

This paper won't be responsible.

You can relax, I'll settle up with you when I get back.

Ambitious! I like this characteristic of yours the most.

Brat!

Here, take twenty bucks for a taxi.

Thanks a lot! I'll make my own way.

He's stubborn but adorable.

We've already scheduled your dad's surgery.

We're now just waiting for Miss Yu's signature.

I'll go in with the doctor to sign.

Then I'll wait in the car.

- Driving? - You don't say!

Turns out, Mr. Yu, the prosecutor is your uncle.

Again, you don't say!

How about this? The two of us cooperate.

You give me information on Mr. Yu, and I'll give you police resources.

Now, is that bullshit?

It's not bullshit, it's just a big joke.

You're responsible for what you just said.

I can complain to the ICAC against you at any time.

Oh, is that your boyfriend?

Introduce him to me.

How can a man in his state hope to be my boyfriend?

Damn bitch! I'll cripple you!

I'm hungry, I'm getting something to eat.

There's plenty in the fridge. Help yourself.

Is something the matter?

Sure...

There's a rat!

It's stupid for someone your size to be afraid of a rat!

Go...

Go...

I'll poke you to death...

I'll beat you to death!

I'll beat you to death!

Help...

Cindy, there's a thief!

Want to run?

Donald, bite him!

Don't... Help...

Donald, you're terrific!

I don't know why so many things have happened recently.

Let's go inside and see if anything's missing.

Boss, I...

You like to brag and call yourself a big brother (gau go).

You rule over Kowloon City and Kowloon Tong.

You eat nine-course banquets that cost $99,999.

Your license plate must be 9-9-9-9.

Why didn't you just dial 9-9-9?

Big Brother!? Her dog is fiercer than me!

Then go and feed that dog!

- Me again? - Should I go?

Feeding the dog again...

Who is it?

- I don't know. - Don't know?

Open the door.

- Open the door? - Don't worry, I'll protect you.

I'll open it, you protect me.

OK, open the door!

I'm an insurance company investigator.

I'm looking for Miss Yu. Here's my card.

My goodness, it really is my dad's insurance company.

- I told you not to be so impetuous. - Didn't you tell me to protect you?

Excuse me, what can I do for you?

Miss, I'm not here to collect a debt, I'm here to pay out.

Please come in and sit.

Get back and stop biting everyone!

You really are the silent dog!

Take care, the dog is inhuman and always biting people's vitals.

Excuse me.

A dog that wears high heels; of course, I have to take care.

Let's go inside and talk.

Please sit.

I'm here today to do a routine check on the policy Mr. Yu bought.

May I ask, which of you is Miss Yu Chu-Dik?

Is it that Mr. Yu looks like a westerner,

or is there something wrong with your eyes?

I'm Yu Chu-Dik; she's my friend, Cindy.

Then it's none of this lady's business.

Miss Yu, I think this is a matter between us.

It's inconvenient for a third party to intervene.

You're the third party. If you don't like it, be my guest...

Fine. Even though your remarks are scathing,

your tone is nothing but friendly.

Then, following the rules, I have to ask if your father's been in good health?

There's no reason for him to have gone insane, right?

Nonsense!

In my experience, when a person goes crazy

there are only two possibilities:

First, it's God's will.

It's our insurance company's misfortune for your father to be out of luck.

- Second— - What's second?

It's artificial.

Are you implying that someone's trying to frame Mr. Yu?

Not just someone, the person cheating the insurance may be one of his own.

Is Mr. Yu your biological father?

Don't get upset. Continue.

I didn't imply you.

Is that a guilty conscience?

Right, Miss Yu, I'll ask you one more time.

Is Mr. Yu your only father, or one of your fathers?

How many fathers do you have?!

Calm down.

"Calm down"? You're telling us to "calm down"?!

If we insulted your family would you be able to "calm down" and endure it?

I'm telling myself to calm down.

Because I have the sudden urge... to use foul language!

Speak your foul language, I don't care!

There's someone outside.

Stay calm.

- Don't move, I'll fix him. - Don't be scared.

I know her. I still have a photo of her, look!

Let go, it hurts!

Who's this guy?

He's a colleague.

What are you doing sneaking around here?

I was looking for Miss Yu.

Looking for me? What's the matter?

It's about your daddy. I saw him kidnapped yesterday.

Don't believe me? I'll show you.

Here, isn't this your daddy's car?

Now, this is the kidnapper's car. I saw it last night in Kowloon Tong.

A case of catching adulterers in the act. The shots are very clear.

- Is this the leading man, Mr. X? - Yeah...

Pfft! There's nothing good in these photos.

Would you rather see the spectacle of man versus beast?

Is there any to see?

I'll find a dog to bite you, then you'll see!

Since you don't want to accept the money, don't ask me next time, that's all.

You only got the license plate?

Didn't you shoot the circumstances in which Uncle was kidnapped?

Sure, but I was too late taking off the lens cap.

- Did you recognise the kidnapper? - I could tell he was a man.

Who was that guy just then?

You're ever so kind treating me to a hamburger and Coke!

I got beaten up because you asked me to play an insurance investigator.

If I treat you to steak and red wine, can I tell you to go to hell?!

You're ridiculous! I paid for that hamburger and Coke.

You'll get all the credit for solving the case.

Achoo! I have the right to refuse this case.

But you were afraid of being demoted, so you asked me to help.

It's better to be demoted than be a coward like you.

You had no idea what to do when that white hag drenched you with water.

If she'd drenched you with acid, would you have killed yourself?

Up yours! My fist is bigger than her head.

Think I'm afraid of blondie?

That's right! You said you were my good brother,

that you'd help solve this case,

and strive so that we Chinese can defeat the Yankee sister.

Now you're chickening out?

Me, chickening out?

Then why are you talking so loud?

I'm just pretending.

Fine, then show that white hag you're capable—

Wait and see!

Cindy, who do you think that investigator really is?

He looked around when speaking and walked with a swagger.

He's either a hoodlum or a thief.

Curb your tongue, or your kid will be born without an ass!

What're you afraid of?

Wouldn't it be an advantage if they grew an ass on their chest?

Glad you can still make jokes at a time like this.

You're back?

I thought you'd come. Did you buy the liniment?

It's said that adding a drop of ginger to the wine makes it delicious.

Do you want to try?

Cindy, have a drink with your friend. I'm going now.

He wants you to keep him company and won't rest easy if you leave.

Looking for me?

Oh, you two are exchanging banter. Don't drag me into it.

You have a very good figure, Miss Yu.

Thanks.

- He knows how to give a compliment. - He seems to like you.

How is that my concern?

It's your concern because you make me excited.

But I have to get this white girl out of the way first.

I want to see how long you can last.

I think I can satisfy you.

You want to satisfy me? It takes a lot of effort.

Your being a little direct.

We've reached the point of intimacy. Get inside.

Judy, go quickly! He's here to get you!

Get going!

Still here?!

- Help! That car's going to run us down! - Hey... it's that investigator!

Get in!

- What happened? - A man tried to kill us!

- Did Wong Dak send him? - How do you know?

I've long suspected he set up your father.

I've had several similar cases before, all of which were related to Wong Dak.

Then what that reporter said is true?

It's better to ask him to discuss it together.

I've got all the information on them.

As long as I find evidence of Mr. Yu's victimization,

our insurance company needn't compensate.

Don't think we'll cooperate with you now you've saved us.

We still don't know your identity.

My identity... is that of an investigator.

The door's over there, go if you don't believe me.

Let's go.

I took a photo of the kidnapper's license plate, can't I investigate it myself?

Eat shit!

Shorty... what did you say?

I told you to eat shit!

Not that sentence, the one before.

He said he had a photo of the kidnapper's license plate.

You're a reporter, all you want are the resources.

Let's work together, Shorty.

You bully me for being short?

Both Deng Xiaoping and Napoleon were short.

No wonder you're so tall!

Would you guys work together as a favour to me?

Now, we caught him out based on this address,

and forced him to reveal Wong Dak's den.

Then we must find evidence he harmed your father.

Is this car yours? Show me your license.

Hoi Gei, are you kidding me?

It takes so long just to change a few tires?

Next time you change a tire, cover it, or it'll slip off.

Thanks a lot!

Hurry up...

Move faster!

I've been staring for ages.

I need a break. You take watch.

OK.

Look!

Isn't this you?

Boss, what's the matter?

You're attacking the wrong guys!

It's hard to be wrong about you black-mouthed dogs!

We just came from Hailufeng.

We've checked your trump cards very clearly.

This photo of you kidnapping Prosecutor Yu was taken by us.

- What do you want? - How's that?

You'll be taken to the police station.

Serve three, five, seven years in jail minimum.

Doesn't that add up to 15 years?

In jail, they pump your stomach with foot water...

and brainwash you with toilet water. Want to give it a go?

Screw that! We took cash and instruction from others.

Alright, then. Tell us who the mastermind is

and I'll let you go right away.

Well, are you refusing to talk?

I'll call for prisoner transport.

Boss, we're in it for the money.

Their hideout is in Wing Lee Godown.

- Keep watch. - OK.

Do you have any religious beliefs?

Yeah, what of it?

It'll surely be dangerous inside. I suggest you stay in the car.

Pray for us sincerely and wait till we come out.

I don't care what you believe in, I want first-hand story material.

I'm going in first.

You're both right. So you two should stay in the car.

You'll just get in my way.

When I get the material, I'll definitely hand it over to you.

Up yours!

Calling headquarters...

What's up...?

We found three suspicious people wandering outside the factory.

Received.

Boss, three suspicious people were found wandering outside the factory.

Let them come in and look around. It's of no concern.

Kid, a man mustn't only look forward.

You have to look up.

Want to make money? You're here just in time.

- I've just lost my way. - You're really unlucky, then.

You've entered the safari park, with all the lions and tigers.

I want to play on the bumper cars.

Fine, I'll play with you.

Don't follow me, you'll only get in my way.

Wait for me here.

How can you play bumper cars if your legs aren't strong enough?

There's also me.

Good stuff! Your legs are hard.

Shame a man's hardest part isn't his legs.

You're saying you have something harder than my legs?

Hard legs are useless. A hard fist is more important.

Well, then. Seems my fist is harder than your head!

You just love your massage parlors. Now you're trying a Thai massage.

When the neck is tightened even the bladder is on fire.

Not everyone can withstand our family kung fu.

I want some extra services, can you manage that?

Not so bad, eh?

I can't help you this time.

This file is all Wong Dak's complaints against you.

You'll never understand that dancing and horse racing will continue.

You've done enough to damage society and disrupt public security.

Seems you won't give up in Hong Kong till you've tasted Her Majesty's food.

Seems you have a speech defect.

I didn't commit any crime, it's just Wong Dak trying to slander me.

Legally, I haven't yet broken any law.

I'm entitled to sue you for making false accusations.

You're a police officer, why didn't you stop her?

You even helped her.

How do I explain it to my superior?

Explain? How are you going to explain it to me?

Remember how you begged me to help you find resources?

Now there's trouble, you push the blame onto me.

Want to make me your scapegoat?

But don't worry, I'll assume responsibility for this matter.

I won't charge you.

Find a suitable place to spend your vacation.

Just pretend the counterfeit currency syndicate has disappeared.

Say that, and I can charge you with shielding international suspects

and the deception of police personnel.

This law is equally applicable in both Hong Kong and the United States.

What you say can be used as evidence in court at any time.

Sir, my face's been beaten like a pig's head,

and still, you arrest me?

Careful I don't sue you for wrongful arrest!

What? You want to intimidate me?!

I've been intimidated since childhood.

What do you want?

Why are you so fierce? Trying to intimidate me?

Don't you know what I do?

What? You have teeth?

No teeth, but I have a pen.

I'm a reporter and I know the law.

Keep talking and I'll complain about you in tomorrow's paper.

What's your number?

Look, I've decided to tell her I'm a cop.

You, just report to your superiors that this thing failed.

Then, I won't have to break the law again and you won't be the scapegoat.

Boss, if you don't take the blame, I might kill myself.

Don't worry. If you let me go, I'll let you go.

Then everyone can stop breaking the law.

Senior, Wong Sir said to let him go.

How annoying! You tell him!

No need to repeat it. Hey, I heard that!

Don't offend reporters in future!

I'm going now.

Wong Dak wanted to harm us. I'm really pissed off!

Don't get pissed off! Think of a way to harm Wong Dak.

Easy, if his stock market plummets, his reputation will be harmed.

Are you an all-powerful supernatural being?

I'm no supernatural being, I'm an emperor!

What? An emperor?

An uncrowned emperor!

WONG DAK SUSPECTED OF BEING MEMBER OF COUNTERFEIT CURRENCY SYNDICATE

Puerile! I'll show you how to play.

What're you doing here?

Who's the boss?

What's going on...? Big renovation or big revenge?

You lot throw a tantrum whenever I'm late paying your wages?

Am I not still the boss?

The boss is here!

If you dare publish another story on Mr. Wong Dak,

next time it won't be so easy!

Let's go now.

What did they say?

They said you talk a lot of shit when exposing their inside story...

Where's Ah Hoi?!

A bit louder...

Dad, how did this happen?

I'm not your dad!

- Ah Sze? - I'm not your dad either!

Dad, what actually happened?

- Git Jai, what happened? - I'm not your dad!

Dad, I bought the grapes you like to eat.

- I won't eat! - If you won't eat, I will!

They need peeling. Put them down.

What the hell have you done to provoke this?

Nothing.

You still say 'nothing'?! Yesterday two foreigners came up...

saying we reported fake news, slandered someone, made personal attacks.

And still, it's not your fault?!

No, I was just doing a woman a favour.

What?! You little bastard!

Selling your father out for glory?

My God! Learn from your father.

I wouldn't die for a woman, only women would die for me.

Dad, I didn't sell you out.

My God! You depraved little shit!

You sold your dad out for a woman?!

Pull in your feet!

You see... even Auntie won't help you.

Dad, that Prosecutor Yu went nuts for no apparent reason.

I want to find out the truth.

It's good for the paper and shows good intentions.

Good intentions don't pay off.

Look at your dad, he'll be disabled when he recovers.

Auntie's right!

My heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys are all messed up.

It'll take more than a month to mend.

This lot pretends to be sick to avoid work and the office is a total mess.

If I can't get food and pay the bills, who am I supposed to rely on?

Rely on me.

Rely on you? He'll go begging!

What business is it of yours, bitch?

Dad, don't scold me in front of so many people.

I won't act on my own initiative anymore.

Uncle Ma, don't trust him. Beat him up!

I'll beat you up!

You little bastard, now you're calling it quits?

Even if you want to, you must finish the gamble.

I don't care what method you use to expose the truth and uphold justice,

increase the sales of our newspaper and avenge me.

Dad, is your leg alright?

Uncle Ma, did the little bastard hit you?

What business is it of yours how I teach my son?

Ah Hoi, why don't you go do something meaningful?

Yes, Dad!

For the sake of my dad and yours, we must make use of your dad.

Now, we sneak Mr. Yu out to issue a statement...

that says he's recovered to testify against Wong Dak.

Let the gang panic, so if they try to kidnap and frame him again...

that's when we cast a dragnet and wipe them out in an ambush.

Then the truth will come out.

- What do you think? - Would it be so easy?

Don't worry.

As long as I can snatch her dad, I can find a way.

Since you've said it, you must have a way.

I'll hand over responsibility to you.

Good, then I can avenge my father.

Seeing as you want revenge, you better snatch him, then.

Will Daddy be in danger?

I'll take care of him. Hurry up and drive.

- When do we act? - Right now.

Little Hoi, you and Cindy go up first.

And you?

I've decided to risk my life here to protect Judy and cover you.

- Cindy, take care of my daddy. - I got it.

Still not moving?

He's watching TV. How can we lure him over?

Let me scare him and lure him over.

Don't watch that way, come inside and watch.

Hurry up.

Hurry up and come in.

They're just about to fight.

That one's the worst, I hate him the most.

It's not worth watching...

Good to watch...

Why don't we play a game?

- Let's play a game! - No, I'm watching this!

- Bull-riding? - It's great fun!

- No, this is better! - Come, I'll teach you how to play.

- Come on... - It's fun...

It's great fun!

Come here...

What are you doing?

I'm afraid of being discovered.

Pfft! Think you're taking part in a masquerade?

Come, move up a bit.

Embrace me.

Why?

Playing sweethearts makes us less likely to be discovered.

Someone's coming. Hold me tight now.

It won't be my fault if we're discovered.

Don't pull a long face.

Come on, embrace me now.

Pretend to be infatuated.

Stroke me gently with your hands.

You did well just then, but it'd be better with more intensity.

- Come on... - Hey, what're you doing?

What's it to you?

I'm CID. What are you doing?

Sir, can't we make out?

- What's your hand doing? - Combing her hair.

- And that one? - Picking up loose change.

I don't believe it. Hold your hand out.

Sir, I have nothing in my hand.

Are you crazy?

I hate people like you the most.

My wife, daughter, and sister were all raped by you!

That's why I became CID, to arrest all you perverts!

I'll cut off your penis!

Lunatic! What're you doing out here?

Catching her and forcing her to be a whore!

Don't arrest me, arrest him!

He's crazier than your dad!

I talk too much.

Talking is pointless, action is more practical.

They're coming! Hurry up and help!

Why have they stopped?

Get up, He-Man.

Stop playing!

Play? I'll give you a taste of my Mythical Crane, Magic Needle!

Take your time getting high.

Are you getting high?

- I almost got high! - Still not helping?!

Be careful.

Who is it?

His head is drooping, how can that be?

Lift his head up.

Hey... too high, down a bit... almost there.

No... over a bit... not here, over there.

Over a bit more... that's it. A little lower.

Hey... he's dropped an eye! Pick it up for him.

Alright, don't move.

Again, that's it.

Let's thank Brother Dragon.

Hey... this is most urgent! That sheet can wait.

Come on... take it out. Print this sheet first.

It's late in the morning, and you're still in bed?

No need to be angry. I also saw the news section.

I thought you were hiding under a quilt.

But don't you know who actually did it?

Those reporters, of course.

I think the lot of them are just trying to scare us.

What if they poison us?

They won't. I don't think this kind of news will affect us.

I won't rely on estimates.

No, it'll only make things worse.

You didn't seem to lack guts when you were printing fake banknotes.

Tomorrow, I'll kidnap his daughter and force him to exchange that file.

What's the matter?

Did you read the paper today?

- Sure. - Your daddy's news was published.

Pfft! I know!

I know you know.

I'm afraid something will happen, so I'm here to protect you.

Looking to take advantage?

Auntie, who wants to take advantage?

Hey... why are you moving all that luggage here?

Since everyone knows Judy's life has been threatened,

and because of my relationship with her, I won't sit idly by.

So, I've decided to move in with her and await death's call.

Is there something wrong with his brain?

Capable of this, it doesn't seem like anything's wrong with his brain.

So what now?

Let me go open up his head and see!

Looks like you're more fierce than Wah Sau's dog!

Miss, next time knock before you come in.

Please be more polite.

I'm already very polite.

What are you doing?

Excuse me, may I throw your stuff away?

I feel sorry for your parents, siblings, second-gen ancestors, and great aunts...

Turns out, you're just a cop!

My goodness! You just realised that now?

Didn't I tell you before?

You jerk! Sneaking in to gather information...

deliberately misleading us, calling yourself an investigator...

What you told us about the investigation turned out to be all lies!

We're colleagues. Give me some face.

We're not colleagues!

Alright, white hag! Think I don't know your identity?

You're an undercover FBI agent.

You're here to steal information. You really think you're a friend?

I don't know what you're talking about?

Fine, I'll ask Judy who's taking advantage of her dad?

Say that again and I'll bust your mouth!

White hag, no need to be so fierce!

Look, forget about the past. I'll continue to pursue her.

You keep using her to lure the gangsters out.

Everyone benefits.

If the case is cracked, I achieve merit and gain a girlfriend.

If it's not cracked, that's too bad for her dad.

You're both bastards!

Cindy, I was wrong about you.

Neither of you is my friend. Now get lost!

Judy... I'm different from her.

You weren't wrong about me, right?

Doctor, can he been saved?

It's hard to say. His major brain surgery was a success,

but his I.Q. hasn't yet recovered.

And it's even lower than the average 13-year-old.

So is there anything we can do to help him?

Oh, don't worry. We've carried out different tests on him.

We've found that electrotherapy is the most effective.

Although there haven't yet been any outstanding results,

let's wait and study the test reports first.

Nut-job, eat up! I still have a lot of work to do.

If that were your dad laying there, would you treat him like that?

If that were my dad laying there

wouldn't I have loads of dads in a hospital this big?

I wouldn't mind too many dads.

The worst would be you lying there needing to urinate with no one to help.

In that case, please treat him like your own dad and help feed him.

Uncle, I'll feed you.

I won't eat, I want ice cream.

Uncle, give it a try. It's very expensive.

This is swallow's nest. Isn't it more delicious than ice cream?

Come on, give it a try.

You're so naughty!

If it happens again, sister will beat you!

You two really belong to the same family.

My God! Move it!

Excuse me, please! You're in the way!

Nurse, isn't the voltage too high?

Miss, are you the nurse now, or am I?

Don't insult my profession. Turn away and concentrate on him.

It's alright.

Hey!

You jabbed the wrong person!

- The pipe's stuck in my throat! - Where's my hot water bottle?

- You pushed me out of bed! - Where's my wheelchair?

Uncle, how are you?

Doctor...

It's bad! Cindy, Judy's been taken

to use as a hostage to exchange for Mr. Yu's files.

What do we do now?

Doctor, how is he?

Don't worry, he's alright.

Uncle, I'll surely get your daughter back for you.

Cindy! Hurry up, let's go!

Where's my daughter?

Is this warehouse the place where Judy is to be exchanged?

- Where's the file? - Don't joke! I don't have the file!

Fail? When I was at school I failed some exams!

Stop messing around, I meant Mr. Yu's confidential file.

If it's confidential, how would we know?

If we knew, it wouldn't be confidential!

So what now? Wong Dak said to exchange the file for Judy.

There's no need to panic, I've prepared many files.

You said you had none, now you have so many?

Needless to say, they must be fakes.

Now, one copy per person. Go in and see them, say you have the file.

Distract their attention, then play it by ear.

You go that way, I'll go this way.

Be careful, Cindy!

Welcome.

You really know the local customs. He speaks Chinese when he meets them.

But I fear you'll be tongue-tied when you return home.

Where's the file?

- It's in here. - Where's Judy?

- Inside. - It's simple, then.

Ah Hoi, you stay down here.

Here's your file, I'm taking the girl.

Cheat me?!

The real file's in here!

Hand it over!

You needn't climb so high.

It'll only hurt more when we kick you down.

You're talking to me?

Pretty good foot power.

Not only good foot power, but good toe power, too.

Why is the real file always held by the best fighter?

Why does the one wanting the file wait for the extras to die before appearing?

It's called "the best is yet to come".

Cindy, it's too dangerous! Don't come up!

Stop the vehicle! Stop the vehicle now!

I'm going to hold on so that we die together.

- I'll trade the file for Judy! - It's too late!

Don't be afraid, I'll save you!

You're crazy! This won't do you any good.

I want her dismembered!

Catch! I'm going to separate the truck cab!

Are you still mad at me?

If I were, you wouldn't be getting a ride.

I really must thank you.

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to solve this case.

Friends help each other.

I solved the case for you, and you helped my dad.

This time, everyone drew even.

I'm putting them in your care.

I hope the next time I see them they're bigger than me.

In fact, their shells remind me of you.

They can protect themselves and protect others.

You think you can be physically fit without working out?

A person could easily get bullied.

But, I have nothing to give you.

Perhaps, I could give you an elephant?

You mustn't give me an elephant!

How can I transport something so big?

You want to crash my plane?!

Guest Starring: RONNY YU, MELVIN WONG

With: WU MA, TAI BO, ROY CHIAO, MIU FUNG-YEE, CHUNG FAT, KEITH KWAN

Production Managers: WONG SIU-KING, ALICE CHAN, JESSINTA LIU

Associate Production Managers: YUEN SUK-JING, TAM HIN-MING

Cinematographers: BILL WONG, PETER NGOR

Art Director: TONY AU

Post-production Supervisor: MARCO MAK

Assistant Directors: YU YIU-LEUNG, NG HON-KEUNG, TAM CHI-SAN, SIDNEY TO

Martial Arts Director: MANG HOI

Assistant Martial Arts Directors: CHIN KA-LOK, HAU YIU-CHUNG, SIU TAK-FOO