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1
00:00:05,518 --> 00:00:08,618
I'm about to sit down with AT&T
trying to close this massive deal
2
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:12,086
But that all depends
on getting Hawaii right.
3
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:14,297
And you would rather do Hawaii
than RussFest?
4
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,550
I would rather...
do my own mother...
5
00:00:18,092 --> 00:00:19,219
than RussFest.
6
00:00:19,761 --> 00:00:21,971
I've made myself the CEO
of YaoNet,
7
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,640
which I'm moving back to the US.
8
00:00:24,015 --> 00:00:27,227
Son of Anton, it's the name I've
given our new inference API.
9
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:28,353
He can do whatever he wants.
10
00:00:28,686 --> 00:00:31,814
I call for the attorney general
of the state of California
11
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,983
to launch
an immediate investigation
12
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,653
of my conduct as CEO of Hooli.
13
00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:39,280
Enjoy the injunction, thumb ass.
14
00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:41,241
Don de la Renta,
the AG of California,
15
00:00:41,324 --> 00:00:42,867
‐is gonna do what I tell him to do.
‐Why?
16
00:00:42,951 --> 00:00:43,993
'Cause I have dirt on him.
17
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:47,205
You ready to dump Hawaii
and join RussFest?
18
00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:49,958
DINESH CHUGTAI: It's beautiful.
19
00:00:50,041 --> 00:00:51,084
Boom!
20
00:00:57,882 --> 00:01:00,260
Richard:
And upon entering RussFest,
21
00:01:00,343 --> 00:01:01,761
each attendee will be given
22
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,972
a PiperNet enabled smartphone,
23
00:01:04,055 --> 00:01:08,893
which will give them access to secure
messaging, social, voice, Internet‐‐
24
00:01:08,977 --> 00:01:10,561
So boring, right?
25
00:01:10,645 --> 00:01:13,231
You see the new logo? Huh?
26
00:01:13,314 --> 00:01:14,899
Huh? Check.
27
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:17,527
One, two, three.
28
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,362
Tres Comas Tequila.
29
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:20,863
My brand. Dollar sign.
30
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,365
Billionaire.
31
00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,450
Russ. Fest!
32
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,620
RussFest.
33
00:01:27,704 --> 00:01:29,038
Right.
34
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,499
No, yeah, it's‐it's
gonna be good. Uh‐‐
35
00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:33,209
‐Yeah, it's gonna be great.
‐Yeah.
36
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,295
Well, uh,
anyway, uh‐‐
37
00:01:35,378 --> 00:01:37,547
Crazy Town's
gonna be there.
38
00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:39,966
So is Puddle of Mudd.
You know Puddle of Mudd?
39
00:01:40,717 --> 00:01:41,884
No.
40
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,636
Fucking Puddle of Mudd!
Dude, listen.
41
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,806
(singing along):
♪ Everything is so blurry ♪
42
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:49,809
♪ And everyone's so fake ♪
43
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:52,812
♪ And everyone is empty ♪
44
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,607
♪ And everything
is so messed up ♪
45
00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:58,234
Right? Yeah, you know
Puddle of Mudd. Awesome.
46
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,278
This is a good meeting,
guys, excellent.
47
00:02:00,361 --> 00:02:03,906
I gotta jet. Bye, guys.
Cory, where you at, dawg?
48
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,951
We're really excited about the
possibility of working with you.
49
00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:08,578
Michael:
Cool.
50
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:13,833
(chuckles) Yeah. So,
uh, what do you, uh...
51
00:02:14,292 --> 00:02:17,378
What do you think,
Michael? Uh, you and us.
52
00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:19,922
AT&T, Pied Piper.
Dealy deal.
53
00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:21,924
Richard,
your tech is impressive,
54
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,886
but we're going with YaoNet,
they're a safe bet.
55
00:02:24,969 --> 00:02:26,763
And by the way,
it doesn't seem like
56
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:28,890
you're telling your people out
there what's really happening.
57
00:02:28,973 --> 00:02:31,559
‐Hang on‐‐ ‐No. Maybe you can
do a deal with someone else.
58
00:02:31,643 --> 00:02:34,103
‐You know, there's, uh‐‐
‐No, no, we can't, Michael.
59
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:36,105
Look, we already have
an agreement in principle.
60
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,941
Okay, well, if you have
an agreement in principle,
61
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,943
you can have a disagreement
in principle.
62
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,446
I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.
63
00:02:43,529 --> 00:02:47,325
Michael, I'm sorry that you're
missing out on this opportunity.
64
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:52,038
Honestly, I walk everyone
to their car. Yeah.
65
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,249
What can we do
to sweeten the pot?
66
00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:58,586
You know? Oh, we could
add cashless transactions.
67
00:02:58,669 --> 00:03:00,671
What if everything is
handled on the phone?
68
00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:04,801
‐Right? You use it to swipe into
parties or VIP areas‐‐ ‐Richard,
69
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,928
this is done.
70
00:03:07,011 --> 00:03:09,472
‐Okay?
‐What about holograms?
71
00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:12,892
Okay, this is your last chance.
Are you in or out?
72
00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:16,979
(tires screech)
73
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:20,650
‐Richard: Fuck!
‐That appears to imply out.
74
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,485
Fuck. Fuck it. Fucker.
75
00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:25,405
‐Cockfucker. ‐Richard, people in
there have been working themselves
76
00:03:25,488 --> 00:03:27,907
half to death for
weeks for no pay.
77
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,243
This is not going
to go over well.
78
00:03:31,577 --> 00:03:33,913
I'm gonna wait out here
while you go in and tell them.
79
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,499
I'm not gonna say anything.
80
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:41,045
If I keep my mouth shut, then there's
still a chance at snaking the YaoNet deal.
81
00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:43,297
But if I tell everyone in there
what's really going on,
82
00:03:43,381 --> 00:03:45,466
we won't make it to RussFest,
and we'll be dead.
83
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:48,428
‐Is that what you want?
‐That's a fair point.
84
00:03:49,387 --> 00:03:51,097
‐That's what I thought. Okay.
‐(claps)
85
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,307
Let's get back
to work. Let's go.
86
00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:56,978
If this comes out, I'll cover
your ass if you cover mine.
87
00:03:57,061 --> 00:03:58,730
If what comes out?
88
00:03:58,813 --> 00:04:00,815
‐My man.
‐No.
89
00:04:00,898 --> 00:04:03,609
(theme song playing)
90
00:04:11,659 --> 00:04:15,246
♪ ♪
91
00:04:18,624 --> 00:04:20,126
(sighs)
92
00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:21,669
Oh!
93
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,382
(chuckling)
94
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,843
Dodgy gadin,
my merry knights of Piper.
95
00:04:28,926 --> 00:04:30,219
Sir Owen,
96
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:33,055
doing valiant battle with
the authentication service.
97
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,557
Yes, good. Yeah.
98
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,185
Oh, and prithee, Becky,
99
00:04:37,268 --> 00:04:38,227
my queen,
100
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:40,938
how goeth
cashless payments?
101
00:04:41,022 --> 00:04:42,565
Russ's pricing keeps
tripping us up.
102
00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:43,983
‐Okay, how so?
‐Well,
103
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,068
this morning, he decided
everyone at RussFest
104
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,320
should be a billionaire,
105
00:04:47,403 --> 00:04:49,655
so every dollar someone
puts into their account
106
00:04:49,739 --> 00:04:51,783
will now be worth
one billion RussBucks.
107
00:04:51,866 --> 00:04:53,117
Zwoons!
108
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,579
So, what, like
a sandwich will be worth
109
00:04:56,662 --> 00:04:58,289
15 billion RussBucks
or something?
110
00:04:58,372 --> 00:05:00,750
Fourteen billion,
nine hundred and ninety‐nine million,
111
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,043
nine hundred
and ninety‐nine thousand,
112
00:05:02,126 --> 00:05:03,419
nine hundred
and ninety‐nine RussBucks
113
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,962
and ninety‐nine RussCents.
114
00:05:05,046 --> 00:05:07,089
Because he thought
that would sound cheaper.
115
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,925
It's kind of screwing
up the interface,
116
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,928
but the whole AT&T deal
is riding on this, right?
117
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,262
We'll get there.
118
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,931
Good. Okay. Excellent.
119
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:20,186
Well, uh, code like the wind,
my lady. (chuckles) Yeah.
120
00:05:20,269 --> 00:05:22,313
Ho, ho! Good Friar Gabriel.
121
00:05:22,396 --> 00:05:26,150
How dost thou fair with
the ticketing module? (grunts)
122
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,569
It's gone.
123
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,655
What do you mean gone?
124
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,449
For some reason, Gilfoyle
deleted the whole thing
125
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,326
‐a few minutes ago.
‐What?
126
00:05:35,409 --> 00:05:37,078
Yeah.
127
00:05:37,161 --> 00:05:40,122
‐Gilfoyle?
‐Yes, Richard. I'm aware.
128
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,916
The drone dispatching
code has been deleted,
129
00:05:41,999 --> 00:05:45,086
and I'm working very hard
to restore the right version.
130
00:05:45,169 --> 00:05:46,671
Whoa, whoa. Drone code?
131
00:05:46,754 --> 00:05:49,173
Gabe just told me that the
ticketing module got deleted.
132
00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:51,092
Ticketing, too?
133
00:05:51,175 --> 00:05:53,511
Fuck, that's problematic.
I'll get on that next.
134
00:05:53,594 --> 00:05:55,847
What the fuck is going on?
135
00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:57,807
Based on the amount
of work left to do
136
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,725
and the number of hours
left before the festival,
137
00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:01,561
I decided to
task Son of Anton
138
00:06:01,644 --> 00:06:04,480
to use machine learning
to debug some of our code.
139
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:07,942
What? Gilfoyle,
are you fucking kidding me?
140
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:10,152
You gave your AI permission
141
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,613
to overwrite code in
the internal file system?
142
00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:15,116
‐Were you gonna tell me about this?
‐No.
143
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,577
I thought that was
the company policy
144
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,579
‐these days.
‐Okay, well,
145
00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:22,164
your AI just failed,
epically.
146
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:24,417
That's unclear.
147
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,127
It's possible that
Son of Anton decided that
148
00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:28,754
the most efficient way
to get rid of all the bugs
149
00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:30,256
was to get rid
of all the software,
150
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:33,259
which is technically
and statistically correct.
151
00:06:33,342 --> 00:06:36,012
But artificial neural nets
are sort of a black box,
152
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,598
‐so we'll never know for sure.
‐Dinesh: Hey, Richard.
153
00:06:38,681 --> 00:06:42,101
Did you order meat?
Like a bunch of meat?
154
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:46,439
Like 4,000 pounds of meat?
155
00:06:47,773 --> 00:06:49,525
Interesting.
156
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,695
I put Son of Anton on finding
us cheap hamburgers for lunch.
157
00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:56,532
It looks like the reward function
was a little under‐specified.
158
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,035
Okay, from now on,
Son of Anton is banned.
159
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:02,455
Just write code like a normal
human fucking being, please.
160
00:07:02,538 --> 00:07:04,081
Dinesh:
Hey, Gilfoyle.
161
00:07:04,165 --> 00:07:07,710
So, I've been thinking about your
AI, and its many deficits.
162
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:11,464
I think Son of Anton's issue might be
how it's handling reward uncertainty.
163
00:07:11,547 --> 00:07:13,883
Your issue may be insecurity,
164
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:17,470
masked by false bravado
and unisex cologne.
165
00:07:17,553 --> 00:07:20,097
Fuck off. It's not unisex.
166
00:07:20,181 --> 00:07:21,307
(sniffs)
167
00:07:22,516 --> 00:07:25,102
♪ ♪
168
00:07:26,395 --> 00:07:27,897
Hey, um,
Richard?
169
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:31,067
I was curious if you had
a moment to clear the air.
170
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,526
Is this about Holden?
171
00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:34,862
No. Holden's a bitch
and he quit.
172
00:07:34,945 --> 00:07:36,572
No, I‐I wanted
to talk to you
173
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,575
about the Gwart‐shaped
tension between us.
174
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:41,702
You know, she and I worked
very closely together,
175
00:07:41,786 --> 00:07:44,288
and now she's
working for YaoNet.
176
00:07:44,372 --> 00:07:45,831
She's, essentially,
the enemy,
177
00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:48,709
so it would be fair
for you to have concerns.
178
00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:50,252
I have no concerns.
179
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:51,879
Okay, good.
180
00:07:51,962 --> 00:07:54,215
Because I don't think
about her, you know,
181
00:07:54,298 --> 00:07:56,258
or if she's hungry
or cold right now,
182
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,053
or if she's still giving most
of her income to Rand Paul.
183
00:07:59,136 --> 00:08:00,930
Richard!
184
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:03,265
Check it! Okay.
185
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,976
Hologram question.
186
00:08:05,059 --> 00:08:08,854
You told AT&T that the hologram
would be interactive, right?
187
00:08:09,438 --> 00:08:11,565
‐Yes.
‐See, asshole?
188
00:08:11,649 --> 00:08:13,526
My hologram can 100%
189
00:08:13,609 --> 00:08:15,695
dry hump festival‐goers
from behind.
190
00:08:15,778 --> 00:08:17,863
If they ask for it.
Hashtag woke.
191
00:08:17,947 --> 00:08:20,324
All right.
Let's go!
192
00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:23,119
Spidey jump.
193
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:26,330
♪ ♪
194
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:41,846
♪ ♪
195
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,147
Ticketing's
running smoothly.
196
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,607
Mobile purchasing
seems stable.
197
00:08:53,691 --> 00:08:54,650
That's good.
198
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:57,028
‐Russ. Hey.
‐I fucked up, Richard.
199
00:08:57,111 --> 00:08:59,155
Why did I make one dollar
worth a billion RussBucks?
200
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:01,282
I mean, everyone wants to be a
billionaire, but they didn't earn it,
201
00:09:01,365 --> 00:09:03,492
so are they gonna feel bad about
themselves? Why would I do that?
202
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:07,038
‐I guess because I'm an asshole and I wanna
have a bad festival! ‐Richard: No, no, Russ.
203
00:09:07,121 --> 00:09:09,331
Don't worry about it.
Everything is amazing.
204
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,000
‐Yeah?
‐Yeah, I tell you what.
205
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,210
Why don't we see the hologram?
206
00:09:13,294 --> 00:09:15,504
‐The hologram's ready?
‐lt's up.
207
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,090
‐Yeah, let's go see the hologram.
‐Okay, come on.
208
00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:20,968
‐This way. (chuckling) ‐Fuck yeah!
Fucking hologram!
209
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,430
♪ ♪
210
00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:31,312
(noisy chattering)
211
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,483
(hologram humming)
212
00:09:36,817 --> 00:09:40,029
‐Richard: See? There he is.
‐Russ: Okay.
213
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:43,032
Yeah, that's
pretty sweet.
214
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:44,784
Fist bump!
215
00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:45,785
Dry hump!
216
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,746
‐Double guns!
‐(crackling)
217
00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:50,289
Wait, what's it doing?
218
00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:54,251
Richard,
what the fuck?
219
00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:57,046
Well, uh, uh...
220
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,798
Once more people show up,
221
00:09:58,881 --> 00:10:01,092
the network effect
will take over,
222
00:10:01,175 --> 00:10:02,718
and it will stabilize,
I promise.
223
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,804
Do you swear? Because
one time, I threw a party
224
00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:07,056
and David Copperfield
said it was beat.
225
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,725
‐Promise me that this will not be beat.
‐lt won't be beat.
226
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:12,311
‐Okay. Okay.
‐Yeah.
227
00:10:13,604 --> 00:10:15,356
I know, I know.
Why did I wear these pants?
228
00:10:15,439 --> 00:10:17,399
Part denim,
part leather.
229
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:18,734
Pick a lane, Russ.
230
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,611
Fuck. Fuck.
231
00:10:20,694 --> 00:10:23,280
Fuck, I'm gonna
change my pants!
232
00:10:23,364 --> 00:10:24,698
(beeps)
233
00:10:31,705 --> 00:10:34,041
Richard: Jared, what are you doing?
Come on!
234
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:38,546
Hey, what the fuck is going on?
235
00:10:38,629 --> 00:10:40,381
Russ's hologram is
glitching like crazy.
236
00:10:40,464 --> 00:10:41,841
Dinesh: We don't know.
Everything's lagging:
237
00:10:41,924 --> 00:10:44,093
our apps, third party
apps, transactions.
238
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:47,096
Gilfoyle: Everything was fine and then
the network started deteriorating.
239
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:50,266
We should be way closer
to 100% capacity by now.
240
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,560
I'm running diagnostics,
but I haven't found anything.
241
00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:55,271
Also, this trailer
is filled with ants.
242
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,273
Fucking Gabe.
243
00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:59,483
I'm sorry, ma'am,
I don't know anything
244
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:02,236
about a Pied Piper
girls' coding camp.
245
00:11:02,319 --> 00:11:05,406
Oh, ask Priyanka. That sounds
like her bag of bullshit.
246
00:11:05,489 --> 00:11:07,533
I did,
it's not hers.
247
00:11:07,616 --> 00:11:10,119
I'm sorry. You said
you spoke to an employee
248
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,204
named Eric Bachman?
249
00:11:13,956 --> 00:11:16,083
Mm‐hmm.
Mm‐hmm.
250
00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:18,252
(whispering):
Hey. Give me that.
251
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:22,131
Hi. Does your Eric Bachman
252
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,216
have a Chinese accent?
253
00:11:34,101 --> 00:11:36,687
Okay. I tweaked the microwave
backhaul antennas.
254
00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:38,898
Did that make any
difference to the...
255
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,734
Is there something
you wanna tell us?
256
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,987
I respect you all?
257
00:11:45,070 --> 00:11:46,488
(beeps)
258
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:49,325
Maximo: Hello.
I am giving a press conference,
259
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:52,995
and I am so happy to be in
partnership with Ah‐Tay‐ee‐Tay.
260
00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:55,080
You can surf our
decentralized Internet
261
00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:58,250
like Hawaiian surfers
can surf the big waves.
262
00:11:58,334 --> 00:11:59,418
(beeps)
263
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,088
Whoa. Bombshell.
264
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:05,925
Michael must've known
they were going with YaoNet.
265
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:08,302
Did you know?
266
00:12:09,345 --> 00:12:10,679
You knew,
267
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,765
and you added
more features.
268
00:12:12,848 --> 00:12:15,809
Ticketing, banking,
the fucking hologram.
269
00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:18,312
You've had us on
a death march for nothing.
270
00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:21,607
What?
Richard! No.
271
00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:23,525
‐Aah!
‐(clatters)
272
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:27,112
(sighs) Gilfoyle,
you're being awfully quiet.
273
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:29,698
‐Did you know?
‐Richard: Now look, guys,
274
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:32,701
these deals never
really ever close.
275
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:35,621
Danny:
"AT&T and YaoNet close deal."
276
00:12:35,704 --> 00:12:38,123
That seems pretty
closed to me.
277
00:12:38,207 --> 00:12:39,833
My guys.
278
00:12:39,917 --> 00:12:42,002
How dare you do
this to my guys?
279
00:12:42,086 --> 00:12:45,047
Can we just please have
this discussion later
280
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:46,882
because right now,
we need to figure out‐‐
281
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,093
We? Who's we?
282
00:12:49,176 --> 00:12:51,136
‐We're out.
‐Yeah.
283
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:54,765
What? Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
284
00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:55,808
My guys.
285
00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:58,060
‐(chair rattling)
‐Gabe...
286
00:12:58,143 --> 00:12:59,144
You can go.
287
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,690
I'll contact you all later
for your exit interviews,
288
00:13:02,773 --> 00:13:04,650
and I'm sorry about the ants.
289
00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:07,152
Well, at least
we all stuck together.
290
00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:08,654
Richard:
Okay. Look,
291
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:11,198
all the systems are built.
292
00:13:11,281 --> 00:13:13,909
I mean, screw those guys
for leaving. Their loss.
293
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,661
We can still do this
without them, right?
294
00:13:15,744 --> 00:13:17,746
No. Unless
the three of us
295
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:21,083
stay up 24 hours a day for
three days in a row. Fuck.
296
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,252
Yeah, exactly! Okay.
All we need to do is just
297
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:26,213
find the bug that's
stalling us and squash it,
298
00:13:26,296 --> 00:13:28,382
just like these fucking ants.
299
00:13:28,465 --> 00:13:31,635
No sleep for three
days straight.
300
00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:32,845
Sweet.
301
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:38,851
‐Dinesh: Is that Gwart?
‐Oh, no. It's a garbage can.
302
00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:41,687
Dinesh:
No, that's Gwart.
303
00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:44,606
Well, she works
for YaoNet,
304
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:46,066
so what is
she doing here?
305
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:49,445
And why does she have access
to the staff only area?
306
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:52,573
Gwart hates Puddle of Mudd.
She's a Linkin Park girl.
307
00:13:52,656 --> 00:13:55,159
♪ ♪
308
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,208
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
309
00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:06,503
♪ ♪
310
00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:22,811
Big Head! What the hell
is going on here?
311
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,314
‐What do you mean?
‐Jian‐Yang: Who let her in?
312
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,691
I take one
lousy shit...
313
00:14:27,775 --> 00:14:30,861
Jian‐Yang,
what is going on here?
314
00:14:30,944 --> 00:14:33,197
All girls
coding camp.
315
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,365
I support woman.
316
00:14:35,449 --> 00:14:38,410
Mr. Eric,
I'm finished.
317
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,999
"This diet cream helped
my husband lose weight."
318
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:47,086
He was fat fuck. Now, he not.
319
00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:49,630
"Fi star, the end."
320
00:14:49,713 --> 00:14:51,715
I wrote exactly like
Mr. Eric told me to.
321
00:14:51,799 --> 00:14:53,967
It's very good, Sophie.
322
00:14:54,051 --> 00:14:55,761
Very good.
323
00:14:57,888 --> 00:14:59,723
You're using underage girls
324
00:14:59,807 --> 00:15:03,060
as slave labor for a fake
Amazon review farm?
325
00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:04,144
Yes.
326
00:15:04,228 --> 00:15:06,939
And‐And you're using
the Pied Piper name?
327
00:15:07,022 --> 00:15:08,398
Yes.
328
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,568
It's okay.
329
00:15:11,652 --> 00:15:12,820
I have money.
330
00:15:12,903 --> 00:15:13,862
(scoffs)
331
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,490
Girls! Call your parents.
332
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:22,454
‐Jared: God, that really is her.
‐Richard: What the fuck?
333
00:15:24,498 --> 00:15:25,874
It's sabotage.
334
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,001
Guys, nobody's eating the peyote.
Will you eat the peyote,
335
00:15:28,085 --> 00:15:30,963
and then that'll break the ice
and they'll eat the peyote?
336
00:15:31,046 --> 00:15:33,132
What?
337
00:15:33,215 --> 00:15:34,967
You hate the shorts?
338
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,138
You hate the shorts.
339
00:15:40,347 --> 00:15:41,723
Fuck it.
340
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,101
Just look at my fucking legs!
341
00:15:44,184 --> 00:15:46,270
Let's go. Go.
342
00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:51,775
Richard:
I knew it! I knew it.
343
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,610
Our network's not slowing
down because we fucked up.
344
00:15:53,694 --> 00:15:55,904
It's because YaoNet's here
and they are attacking us.
345
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:57,698
Is SlipSox even
a real company?
346
00:15:57,781 --> 00:16:00,617
Incorporated a week ago,
no website.
347
00:16:01,785 --> 00:16:03,662
It's a cover.
It's YaoNet!
348
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:05,247
Laurie is somehow fucking with
349
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:06,623
our routing to slow
down the network.
350
00:16:06,707 --> 00:16:08,375
But why would they
bother attacking us?
351
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,586
They have the AT&T deal
all locked up.
352
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,421
Unless...
353
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,214
they don't.
354
00:16:14,631 --> 00:16:16,466
If she thinks their
Hawaii launch might fail,
355
00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:18,385
that would be a reason
to try to wipe us out
356
00:16:18,468 --> 00:16:20,053
while they have
the chance.
357
00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:23,307
So, if we can stay alive
till YaoNet fucks up Hawaii,
358
00:16:23,390 --> 00:16:24,641
we could swoop in.
359
00:16:24,725 --> 00:16:26,268
Like a basketball dunker.
360
00:16:26,351 --> 00:16:28,604
‐We're still in this, boys.
‐Jared: All right.
361
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:32,232
So, let's boot those meddling
bums off of the network.
362
00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:33,692
Enough of this crap!
363
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:36,403
Yeah. Well, uh,
that's impossible
364
00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:38,655
'cause the whole point
of a decentralized network
365
00:16:38,739 --> 00:16:42,492
is to prevent a single host
from controlling access.
366
00:16:42,576 --> 00:16:44,453
So dictators can't ban
dissidents.
367
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:48,832
Right now, there's no way to kill them
or stop them throttling the network.
368
00:16:49,416 --> 00:16:52,169
This is why things
are easier in China.
369
00:16:54,922 --> 00:16:57,341
China...
370
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:03,222
Don't mess with Pied Piper
again, you little fucker.
371
00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:06,350
‐(phone vibrating)
‐(sighs)
372
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,229
(sighs) Hello?
373
00:17:10,312 --> 00:17:15,150
Jian‐Yang! Hey! Hey, uh,
what's going on, boss man? (chuckles)
374
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,403
It's, uh, Richard Hendricks,
from Pied Piper.
375
00:17:18,487 --> 00:17:19,988
How's it going, dude?
376
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:21,198
Very bad.
377
00:17:21,281 --> 00:17:23,992
My underage girl
slaves all left.
378
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,869
Oh yeah, totally. Bummer.
379
00:17:25,953 --> 00:17:27,246
Well, you'll find them.
380
00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:29,623
Anyway, kind of
a silly question, um...
381
00:17:29,706 --> 00:17:32,417
You know how you stole
the Pied Piper source code?
382
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:34,962
‐Yes.
‐Yeah, and then you rewrote it
383
00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:36,505
into what is now YaoNet?
384
00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:38,215
‐ Yes.
‐Right, um,
385
00:17:38,298 --> 00:17:40,676
did the Chinese
government, by any chance,
386
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,594
require you to add a back door?
387
00:17:42,678 --> 00:17:45,180
Yes, I have
a SSH key in my house,
388
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:48,976
‐ written down. ‐Cool!
Wow! Uh... (chuckles)
389
00:17:49,393 --> 00:17:51,353
I don't suppose I could
get that from you.
390
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:54,398
Uh, it's just that
Pied Piper's in kind of a jam.
391
00:17:55,566 --> 00:17:58,193
Yes. Pied Piper...
392
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:02,114
Your white witch just
shut down my business.
393
00:18:02,906 --> 00:18:05,075
‐(beeps)
‐Oh. Okay.
394
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:08,996
So?
395
00:18:09,079 --> 00:18:11,999
(phone vibrating)
396
00:18:15,836 --> 00:18:17,629
Hey, Richard, what's up?
397
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,675
♪ ♪
398
00:18:22,509 --> 00:18:24,303
(sighs) Fuck.
399
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:26,722
Jian‐Yang, please.
400
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,599
‐(Simon game beeping)
‐Monica,
401
00:18:28,682 --> 00:18:32,811
for the last five years,
you have been horrible.
402
00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:35,355
You never smile.
403
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:37,524
You never kiss me.
404
00:18:38,108 --> 00:18:41,153
I'll never give you
anything you want.
405
00:18:41,695 --> 00:18:43,447
I hate you.
406
00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:45,949
Jian‐Yang,
I need that key.
407
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,160
This key?
408
00:18:49,202 --> 00:18:52,706
Okay, let's...
let's just be reasonable.
409
00:18:53,749 --> 00:18:55,125
‐Gimme it!
‐Shit!
410
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:57,461
Come on! Fuck!
411
00:18:57,544 --> 00:18:59,796
(both grunting)
412
00:19:00,297 --> 00:19:02,466
‐No! Stop!
‐Oh.
413
00:19:04,551 --> 00:19:06,136
(grunts)
414
00:19:06,219 --> 00:19:08,013
Oh my God!
415
00:19:08,096 --> 00:19:09,348
Yikes.
416
00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:17,439
You and I, we could've
run this town,
417
00:19:17,522 --> 00:19:19,941
but you blew it, mister.
418
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:23,362
(Simon game beeping)
419
00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:28,325
(singsongy):
A, four, six, capital G,
420
00:19:28,408 --> 00:19:32,287
two, nine, lowercase J,
four, three‐‐
421
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,873
Wait, wait, wait.
Wha‐what are you singing?
422
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,708
Is‐ls that the key?
423
00:19:36,792 --> 00:19:39,836
Key? No. That's just
the letters and numbers
424
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,464
that were on that little sheet of
paper that Jian‐Yang swallowed.
425
00:19:42,547 --> 00:19:45,759
Yeah, for some reason, stuff's really
like sticking in my head these days.
426
00:19:45,842 --> 00:19:48,220
Wait. Big Head, Richard needs
those letters and numbers.
427
00:19:48,303 --> 00:19:49,888
Can‐can you sing it again?
428
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,556
Uh, sure. Yeah.
429
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,475
‐(game beeping)
‐(singsongy): A, four, six,
430
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:56,353
capital G, two, nine,
lowercase J‐‐
431
00:19:56,436 --> 00:19:58,480
Wait, do you wanna maybe
call Richard first,
432
00:19:58,563 --> 00:19:59,815
and then I could sing it?
433
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,900
Holy shit! Yes! Thank you!
434
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:04,903
Richard (singsongy):
Capital M, capital R...
435
00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:07,030
that's it?
436
00:20:08,782 --> 00:20:10,534
(laughing):
Okay!
437
00:20:10,617 --> 00:20:12,494
Yeah, we're in! It worked!
438
00:20:12,577 --> 00:20:15,372
Thank you. Uh, thanks, guys.
Thanks, Big Head.
439
00:20:16,331 --> 00:20:18,375
All right, YaoNet, SlipSox,
440
00:20:18,458 --> 00:20:21,753
whoever the fuck you are,
you think you can fuck with us?
441
00:20:23,463 --> 00:20:24,923
‐They hung up.
‐Oh.
442
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,216
Yeah.
443
00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:30,345
‐Wait, what the fuck is this?
‐Dinesh: This is YaoNet's server?
444
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,681
Fuck.
It's a honeypot.
445
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:34,099
What, is that a good thing?
446
00:20:34,182 --> 00:20:37,477
No. It's not.
Run the "file" command.
447
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,563
It's basically
a bullshit shell in case
448
00:20:39,646 --> 00:20:41,189
the Chinese government
actually used the key.
449
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,899
It's like a fake storefront.
450
00:20:42,983 --> 00:20:45,193
Okay, so they have to be
running SSH on a different port.
451
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,695
How do we find
the real one?
452
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,655
We could N‐map it
to check every single one,
453
00:20:48,739 --> 00:20:50,782
but that would
take forever.
454
00:20:52,409 --> 00:20:55,078
Okay. Fuck. Well,
455
00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:57,164
somehow, we have to find
the correct port number.
456
00:20:57,247 --> 00:21:00,000
Wait, what time is it?
457
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,883
One large artichoke,
458
00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:10,135
extra rare,
cup of mayonnaise.
459
00:21:11,094 --> 00:21:14,306
I see you still take
your snack at 3:17.
460
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:18,977
I know that
SlipSox is YaoNet,
461
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:21,062
and that you've
infiltrated Pied Piper,
462
00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:24,733
and I know that you're here,
working with Laurie Bream.
463
00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:26,777
No, let me finish.
464
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:29,821
We didn't end on
the best of terms, but...
465
00:21:29,905 --> 00:21:31,364
when we were together,
I feel like
466
00:21:31,448 --> 00:21:34,993
I really saw you,
the real you.
467
00:21:35,076 --> 00:21:37,996
I saw you, Gwart!
I know you!
468
00:21:38,079 --> 00:21:40,081
No, let me finish.
I have to say this
469
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,708
or I'm never gonna
get it out.
470
00:21:41,792 --> 00:21:45,378
Now, I wish I was asking you
to go for a walk with me
471
00:21:45,462 --> 00:21:48,173
or to watch Magic Mike XL
for the umpteenth time,
472
00:21:48,256 --> 00:21:50,801
but I'm asking you
to give us access to YaoNet,
473
00:21:50,884 --> 00:21:53,178
and not just to save
my company,
474
00:21:53,261 --> 00:21:55,180
but to save my sanity.
475
00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:59,976
Because if I was wrong
about who you are,
476
00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:02,813
then I don't know who I am.
477
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,442
So there you have it.
478
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,987
I've said
all I gotta say, and...
479
00:22:11,988 --> 00:22:14,032
it's up to you now.
480
00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:28,129
I see. So,
481
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:32,050
Pied Piper's network capacity
is degrading steadily.
482
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:34,010
Hmm, wonderful.
483
00:22:35,345 --> 00:22:38,682
And their adaptive routing
optimization techniques
484
00:22:38,765 --> 00:22:41,059
aren't helping them.
485
00:22:58,076 --> 00:23:00,453
Hey, guys. Um,
I'm so sorry‐‐
486
00:23:00,537 --> 00:23:03,331
I don't know what you did,
but it worked.
487
00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:06,167
‐Jared: What?
‐Someone just messaged us
488
00:23:06,251 --> 00:23:07,836
the correct port
489
00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:09,796
‐to YaoNet's ad server.
‐Yeah!
490
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,423
‐(Richard chuckling)
‐Really?
491
00:23:11,506 --> 00:23:13,341
Yep. Gilfoyle revoked
all their access,
492
00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:16,094
and is removing their app
from every client on PiperNet.
493
00:23:16,177 --> 00:23:18,680
Richard: In a couple of minutes,
we'll be back up to speed.
494
00:23:18,763 --> 00:23:21,683
Plus, we cloned
their repository,
495
00:23:21,766 --> 00:23:24,185
so we'll just poke around
496
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:26,521
and see exactly
what they're hiding!
497
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,690
It's a big win
for the Piper boys.
498
00:23:28,773 --> 00:23:30,525
(chuckles)
So, Gilfoyle,
499
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:32,152
how much faster is
our network now?
500
00:23:32,235 --> 00:23:34,446
Zero faster. It's slower,
501
00:23:34,529 --> 00:23:37,282
‐and still degrading.
‐What are you talking about?
502
00:23:37,365 --> 00:23:40,327
About how our network is
slower and still degrading.
503
00:23:40,410 --> 00:23:42,329
We're currently at 60%.
504
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:44,706
But that's not possible.
505
00:23:44,789 --> 00:23:45,999
Our network's
shit latency
506
00:23:46,082 --> 00:23:47,417
is slowing down
every single purchase.
507
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,210
(angry chattering)
508
00:23:49,294 --> 00:23:50,337
Look at the bathrooms.
509
00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:52,797
The scanner's aren't working.
510
00:23:52,881 --> 00:23:55,050
Richard: Fucking Russ
and his pay toilets.
511
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:58,136
Okay, we gotta figure this out
or there's gonna be a riot.
512
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,015
There you
assholes are!
513
00:24:02,098 --> 00:24:04,225
You guys fucking with me?
Did you get my messages?
514
00:24:04,309 --> 00:24:05,477
Uh...
515
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:07,562
Messaging's stalling, too.
516
00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:10,357
I sent you guys photos of
three different outfits.
517
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,275
Did you hate
them all? Wha...
518
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:13,485
What's wrong?
519
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:16,446
Uh, no. Definitely
the second one.
520
00:24:16,529 --> 00:24:17,906
‐I like the second one.
‐You really think
521
00:24:17,989 --> 00:24:20,575
a white guy can wear that
and get away with it?
522
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:22,452
‐Gilfoyle: Definitely.
‐Dinesh: No.
523
00:24:22,535 --> 00:24:24,245
You know what?
You're right.
524
00:24:24,329 --> 00:24:26,081
Fuck political
correctness.
525
00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:29,292
I'm looking at four
guys that fuck!
526
00:24:30,543 --> 00:24:32,087
Okay, let's rerun
the diagnostics.
527
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:33,838
Maybe we missed something.
528
00:24:33,922 --> 00:24:36,383
(Laurie speaking indistinctly)
529
00:24:36,466 --> 00:24:37,592
Laurie!
530
00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:40,178
Richard: Laurie Bream!
Well, well, well.
531
00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:43,181
‐Fleeing the scene of the crime?
‐Crime?
532
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,184
You can't win.
Your network is garbage.
533
00:24:46,267 --> 00:24:49,187
And maybe, if you save us
some time by telling us
534
00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:51,356
how you're slowing
down our network,
535
00:24:51,439 --> 00:24:52,816
I won't go to the police.
536
00:24:52,899 --> 00:24:56,277
Slowing down your network?
That would be "un‐tethical."
537
00:24:56,361 --> 00:24:57,862
‐Why would I...
‐(scoffs)
538
00:24:59,072 --> 00:25:01,199
Oh. Richard...
539
00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:03,994
You do not know.
540
00:25:04,869 --> 00:25:06,246
Know what?
541
00:25:06,329 --> 00:25:07,622
As you correctly surmised,
542
00:25:07,706 --> 00:25:10,667
YaoNet doesn't work.
It does not scale.
543
00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,293
‐Ha!
‐However, we did not
544
00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,130
come here to attack you,
simply to observe you,
545
00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:16,756
spy on you, if you wish,
546
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,217
in order to see how you
got PiperNet to work,
547
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,261
which, it turns out,
you did not.
548
00:25:21,344 --> 00:25:22,721
Uh, what? (scoffs)
549
00:25:22,804 --> 00:25:26,224
Your compression is inadequate
in the face of bottlenecks
550
00:25:26,307 --> 00:25:28,643
that emerge between
node‐cluster edges.
551
00:25:28,727 --> 00:25:31,146
Pied Piper does not scale.
552
00:25:31,604 --> 00:25:34,232
It is as impracticable
as YaoNet.
553
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,402
‐Fuck.
‐Laurie: Ah, yes.
554
00:25:37,485 --> 00:25:39,320
That can't be right.
555
00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:41,156
Laurie:
And yet it is.
556
00:25:41,239 --> 00:25:44,534
I wish we had plagiarized
more functional code,
557
00:25:44,617 --> 00:25:47,537
and yet it is this technology
that AT&T has purchased,
558
00:25:47,620 --> 00:25:48,663
functional or no.
559
00:25:48,747 --> 00:25:50,832
And with Maximo's
sufficient funding,
560
00:25:50,915 --> 00:25:52,834
we will certainly be
able to weather the storm
561
00:25:52,917 --> 00:25:54,836
until we reach launch,
at which time
562
00:25:54,919 --> 00:25:58,798
it seems likely that AT&T may
deem our business a failure.
563
00:25:58,882 --> 00:26:01,176
However, at this point,
I will have already made
564
00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:03,970
many multiples
on my initial investment.
565
00:26:04,637 --> 00:26:07,932
Ah, I cannot speak
to your backup plan.
566
00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:10,060
Hmm, yes.
567
00:26:10,643 --> 00:26:12,604
Good day, gentlemen.
568
00:26:21,780 --> 00:26:24,491
Well, she's just a hater,
and, no disrespect,
569
00:26:24,574 --> 00:26:26,659
‐but she can eat shit.
‐Dinesh: Yeah,
570
00:26:26,743 --> 00:26:28,078
obviously.
571
00:26:28,161 --> 00:26:30,622
We have to be able to
figure something out.
572
00:26:30,705 --> 00:26:32,457
You'll think of
something, right?
573
00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:34,417
Richard?
574
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:39,798
Six fucking years!
575
00:26:39,881 --> 00:26:42,967
Six years...
we've wasted!
576
00:26:43,051 --> 00:26:45,637
Building this worthless
piece of shit!
577
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,722
Are fucking
kidding me?!
578
00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:49,641
(panting)
579
00:26:49,724 --> 00:26:53,019
I'm fine. I just gotta
go to the bathroom.
580
00:26:53,561 --> 00:26:56,314
I don't think
he thought of anything.
581
00:26:56,397 --> 00:26:58,107
(crowd chattering)
582
00:26:58,191 --> 00:27:00,360
‐Yeah! (laughs)
‐(music playing)
583
00:27:00,443 --> 00:27:03,863
Go with option one, and I'm
not gonna feel shitty about it.
584
00:27:03,947 --> 00:27:05,657
Right?
585
00:27:07,408 --> 00:27:08,660
Fuck me.
586
00:27:09,035 --> 00:27:11,955
Dinesh: Hey guys, Richard's been
locked in there for three hours.
587
00:27:12,038 --> 00:27:13,998
Should we kick
down the door?
588
00:27:14,082 --> 00:27:17,001
No, let's honor him
with some space.
589
00:27:17,377 --> 00:27:19,087
I'll wait for him to fall
asleep, and then I'll‐‐
590
00:27:19,170 --> 00:27:20,880
I'll lower myself
down through the vent.
591
00:27:20,964 --> 00:27:22,590
‐(burps)
‐Dinesh: Would it be a dick move
592
00:27:22,674 --> 00:27:25,510
to ask him for his keys
and then we drive home?
593
00:27:25,593 --> 00:27:28,263
Well, he'd be
abandoned here...
594
00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,931
Holy shit.
595
00:27:30,014 --> 00:27:31,432
That's fantastic.
596
00:27:31,516 --> 00:27:34,227
‐What the... fuck?
‐(drones buzzing)
597
00:27:35,937 --> 00:27:37,564
Hey, you guys?
598
00:27:38,439 --> 00:27:40,650
I did something.
599
00:27:40,733 --> 00:27:42,986
All right, so,
I was, uh,
600
00:27:43,069 --> 00:27:45,196
fiddling around
on Gilfoyle's laptop,
601
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,115
and I was
looking down,
602
00:27:47,198 --> 00:27:49,826
and then I realized
that the solution was
603
00:27:49,909 --> 00:27:51,786
staring at me
right in the face.
604
00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:52,954
Ants.
605
00:27:53,037 --> 00:27:54,289
It occurred to me
606
00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:57,417
that our network is kind
of like a series of paths,
607
00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,837
much like the trails ants use
in order to forage for food.
608
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:05,592
But then, I thought
that we don't need better paths.
609
00:28:05,675 --> 00:28:08,595
We need better ants. You see?
610
00:28:08,678 --> 00:28:12,432
‐Fuck gradient descent.
‐What?
611
00:28:12,515 --> 00:28:16,853
I don't need to use Gilfoyle's AI
in order to improve middle‐out.
612
00:28:16,936 --> 00:28:21,065
I need to use middle‐out
to create a new AI.
613
00:28:21,608 --> 00:28:26,738
A symbolic AI. And now,
it is teaching itself
614
00:28:26,821 --> 00:28:29,073
how to optimize.
615
00:28:29,157 --> 00:28:32,452
So, you fucked around
with Son of Anton's brain,
616
00:28:32,535 --> 00:28:34,954
and then gave him access
617
00:28:35,038 --> 00:28:37,832
to our entire network
infrastructure,
618
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:39,709
‐while it's still running?
‐Yes.
619
00:28:39,792 --> 00:28:42,253
Richard, that's like asking
a robot to change your tire
620
00:28:42,337 --> 00:28:44,297
while you're driving
on the freeway!
621
00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:45,506
Hold this.
622
00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:47,091
Gimme.
623
00:28:47,175 --> 00:28:48,343
See, go.
624
00:28:48,426 --> 00:28:49,928
This isn't my computer.
625
00:28:50,011 --> 00:28:51,888
‐lt's not?
‐Gilfoyle: No.
626
00:28:52,472 --> 00:28:56,309
And what the fuck is
Son of Anton version 2.0?
627
00:28:56,392 --> 00:28:58,269
What?
628
00:29:00,688 --> 00:29:02,273
‐Huh.
‐You were fucking around
629
00:29:02,357 --> 00:29:04,359
with Son of Anton's
brain before him?
630
00:29:04,442 --> 00:29:06,653
‐Fuck.
‐I have good ideas.
631
00:29:06,736 --> 00:29:09,489
‐(explosions)
‐(crowd screaming)
632
00:29:09,572 --> 00:29:12,659
♪ ♪
633
00:29:17,872 --> 00:29:19,290
Sweet mother of God.
634
00:29:19,374 --> 00:29:20,708
Dinesh:
This is not my fault.
635
00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,585
I barely touched
Gilfoyle's AI.
636
00:29:22,669 --> 00:29:24,963
‐(explosions)
‐Richard: What's it doing?
637
00:29:25,046 --> 00:29:28,257
Gilfoyle: I have no idea. I told you,
it's a fucking black box, Richard.
638
00:29:28,341 --> 00:29:30,051
Richard: Do you think
there's gonna be a riot?
639
00:29:30,134 --> 00:29:32,762
Dinesh: Oh, I'm sure 20,000 coked‐up
douchebags will be very civil
640
00:29:32,845 --> 00:29:34,514
when they can't
get food or water.
641
00:29:34,597 --> 00:29:36,891
Gilfoyle: Holy shit,
look at the hologram.
642
00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:38,977
Richard:
Oh my God.
643
00:29:42,105 --> 00:29:42,855
Whoa.
644
00:29:42,939 --> 00:29:45,817
(panicked chattering)
645
00:29:47,777 --> 00:29:50,154
(buzzing, crackling)
646
00:29:50,989 --> 00:29:52,865
‐(woman screams)
‐(car alarm blares)
647
00:29:52,949 --> 00:29:54,993
Shit.
648
00:29:55,493 --> 00:29:57,537
‐What did we do?
‐We?
649
00:29:58,204 --> 00:29:59,539
Dinesh:
Is it dead?
650
00:29:59,622 --> 00:30:02,583
‐Am I going to jail?
‐Hey.
651
00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,127
I can train you.
652
00:30:04,210 --> 00:30:05,920
Russ:
Hey, fuckers.
653
00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:09,340
Popped a couple of Xanax and
then choked it in the trailer.
654
00:30:09,424 --> 00:30:12,218
Feeling much better.
Went with outfit number three,
655
00:30:12,301 --> 00:30:14,012
black jacquard.
656
00:30:14,095 --> 00:30:15,096
Why is it so dark?
657
00:30:15,179 --> 00:30:16,389
Um, well...
658
00:30:16,472 --> 00:30:17,849
Lights!
659
00:30:19,058 --> 00:30:21,686
(lights clacking)
660
00:30:22,228 --> 00:30:24,605
Russ: Sweet! Voice command?
That is fucking awesome.
661
00:30:24,689 --> 00:30:26,649
You guys are smart.
662
00:30:26,733 --> 00:30:31,029
(vocalizing):
Voice command!
663
00:30:32,030 --> 00:30:33,906
What just happened?
664
00:30:33,990 --> 00:30:35,783
Did it work? What...
What just happened?
665
00:30:35,867 --> 00:30:37,368
Gilfoyle:
Holy shit.
666
00:30:37,452 --> 00:30:38,870
Jared:
Wait, is that right?
667
00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:41,914
It's at... 145%?
668
00:30:41,998 --> 00:30:44,709
Now 160%. Okay,
how is this possible?
669
00:30:44,792 --> 00:30:47,378
Our network overhead
must've massively shrunk.
670
00:30:47,462 --> 00:30:49,297
It's insane.
671
00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:51,507
Oh my God. Okay...
672
00:30:51,591 --> 00:30:53,092
My middle‐out,
673
00:30:53,176 --> 00:30:54,802
Gilfoyle's AI,
whatever the fuck Dinesh
674
00:30:54,886 --> 00:30:57,972
‐did to Gilfoyle's AI‐‐ ‐I
basically rewrote the entire thing.
675
00:30:58,056 --> 00:30:59,974
You guys,
676
00:31:00,058 --> 00:31:01,934
it worked.
It‐lt‐lt happened.
677
00:31:02,018 --> 00:31:04,270
‐We‐we‐we did it. We‐we‐we won.
‐Dinesh: It worked?
678
00:31:04,353 --> 00:31:06,481
‐Ah! We did it!
‐Richard: Yeah!
679
00:31:06,564 --> 00:31:08,066
‐Ah!
‐You...
680
00:31:08,149 --> 00:31:10,151
are like the three
musketeers of coding,
681
00:31:10,234 --> 00:31:12,153
except you are
all d'Artagnan.
682
00:31:12,236 --> 00:31:14,822
‐(laughing)
‐(hologram humming)
683
00:31:14,906 --> 00:31:16,741
‐Richard: Wait, wait.
‐Gilfoyle: What?
684
00:31:16,824 --> 00:31:18,367
Richard:
What the fuck is going on?
685
00:31:18,451 --> 00:31:19,994
Dinesh:
He's growing!
686
00:31:20,078 --> 00:31:22,413
♪ ♪
687
00:31:22,914 --> 00:31:24,582
Gilfoyle:
It's beautiful.
688
00:31:25,041 --> 00:31:27,210
Eat a dick, David Copperfield!
689
00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:30,880
Pilot (over PA): We hope
you've enjoyed your flight
690
00:31:30,963 --> 00:31:33,091
from Maui to San Francisco
this evening.
691
00:31:33,174 --> 00:31:34,675
Out of the right
side of the aircraft,
692
00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:36,344
you can see the lights
of Las Vegas.
693
00:31:36,427 --> 00:31:38,721
And out of the left side,
you can see...
694
00:31:39,555 --> 00:31:42,266
I don't know what that is.
695
00:31:43,267 --> 00:31:45,436
(computer chimes)
696
00:31:50,775 --> 00:31:54,695
("Champipple" by John Popper
& The Duskray Troubadours plays)
697
00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:57,740
♪ Let's drink some
champipple, baby ♪
698
00:31:57,824 --> 00:32:01,035
♪ 'Cause it's almost free ♪
699
00:32:01,119 --> 00:32:04,997
♪ Champipple, baby, till dawn ♪
700
00:32:05,081 --> 00:32:07,834
♪ You've got no
pressing engagements ♪
701
00:32:07,917 --> 00:32:11,212
♪ Won't you sit down by me
and drink some ♪
702
00:32:11,295 --> 00:32:16,509
♪ Champipple, baby,
till the champipple's gone ♪
703
00:32:16,592 --> 00:32:18,719
♪ Penny for penny ♪
704
00:32:18,803 --> 00:32:20,763
♪ Pound for pound ♪
705
00:32:20,847 --> 00:32:23,599
♪ If you're getting up ♪
706
00:32:23,683 --> 00:32:26,727
♪ For getting down ♪
707
00:32:26,811 --> 00:32:28,729
♪ Bottle for bottle ♪
708
00:32:28,813 --> 00:32:31,232
♪ Sip by sip ♪
709
00:32:31,315 --> 00:32:33,234
♪ It tastes even better ♪
710
00:32:33,317 --> 00:32:36,904
♪ When it's on your lips ♪
711
00:32:36,988 --> 00:32:40,116
♪ ♪
712
00:33:02,346 --> 00:33:03,681
Pied Piper can help scientists
cure cancer.
713
00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:06,267
‐And cancer is bad.
‐Cancer fucking sucks.
714
00:33:06,350 --> 00:33:08,769
"Hey, I'd like
some cancer, please." No.
715
00:33:09,604 --> 00:33:13,191
We built the single, greatest
network ever in the world.
716
00:33:13,274 --> 00:33:16,777
I would like you to give me
free shares of Pied Piper.
717
00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:18,863
You had plenty of opportunity
to invest.
718
00:33:19,155 --> 00:33:20,364
Yeah,
you could buy a Piper coin.
719
00:33:20,448 --> 00:33:22,742
Monica, two men are talking
of business.
720
00:33:22,825 --> 00:33:25,411
You can find your broom
and fly away.
721
00:33:26,078 --> 00:33:27,955
Gilfoyle is willing
to destroy everything
722
00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:29,874
we've built just to prevent me
from having money.
723
00:33:29,957 --> 00:33:32,460
Your entire life has prepared
you to publicly fail.
724
00:33:32,877 --> 00:33:35,046
You're just failing
to see that right now.
725
00:33:35,129 --> 00:33:35,963
Don't insult me,
726
00:33:36,172 --> 00:33:37,965
I can fail circles around
you losers.
727
00:33:38,049 --> 00:33:39,884
♪ (ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
728
00:33:41,469 --> 00:33:43,054
(SCREAMS)
729
00:33:43,679 --> 00:33:46,057
Is this a good thing
or a bad thing?
730
00:33:46,599 --> 00:33:47,850
Someone tell me how to feel.
731
00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:51,562
Jared, bolt the doors.
732
00:33:51,646 --> 00:33:54,440
‐What's in the bag?
‐Clif Bars and a gun.
733
00:33:55,399 --> 00:33:57,443
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
54055
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