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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,561 --> 00:00:01,510 Richard... 2 00:00:02,097 --> 00:00:04,847 do you think if I asked, they would let me visit her? 3 00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:06,431 RICHARD HENDRICKS: Jared, she's gonna be okay. 4 00:00:06,847 --> 00:00:07,930 I promise. 5 00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:11,306 (DRILL WHIRRING) 6 00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:12,889 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 7 00:00:12,972 --> 00:00:13,972 GAVIN BELSON: That brilliant little idiot. 8 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,222 He found a way around the patent! 9 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:16,222 It's Hendrick's internet, 10 00:00:16,306 --> 00:00:17,306 but it's not Hendrick's internet! 11 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,889 I will no longer be able to manufacture your boxes. 12 00:00:20,139 --> 00:00:22,347 You see, my company will be manufacturing 13 00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:25,847 a new device that will quickly render yours obsolete. 14 00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:30,222 Did you speak to Laurie about our Series B? 15 00:00:30,306 --> 00:00:32,555 - HENDRICKS: Sort of. - (LAURIE RETCHING) 16 00:00:32,638 --> 00:00:34,638 MONICA HALL: Nothing is personal with Laurie, all right? 17 00:00:34,722 --> 00:00:36,597 It's what makes her such a great VC. 18 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,181 A term sheet for your Series B. 19 00:00:39,264 --> 00:00:40,680 Congratulations, Richard. 20 00:00:40,972 --> 00:00:42,055 Thank you. 21 00:00:51,222 --> 00:00:53,555 Richard: Wow. That is one expensive bottle. 22 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:54,763 You guys deserve the best 23 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:56,222 bottle of champagne they have. 24 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,680 Yeah, all champagne tastes the same to me, so. 25 00:00:58,763 --> 00:01:00,181 I agree, I mean, what's the difference 26 00:01:00,264 --> 00:01:02,555 between good champagne and bad champagne? 27 00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:04,139 About $500. 28 00:01:04,222 --> 00:01:05,763 Guys, come on. Enjoy it. 29 00:01:05,847 --> 00:01:08,389 You're about to close a $30 million series B. 30 00:01:08,472 --> 00:01:10,181 And you don't have to sell any ads 31 00:01:10,264 --> 00:01:11,472 or harvest user data, 32 00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:13,139 which for any other VC in town 33 00:01:13,222 --> 00:01:14,472 would've been a non-starter. 34 00:01:14,555 --> 00:01:17,139 Frankly, I'm surprised that Laurie went for it. 35 00:01:17,222 --> 00:01:18,680 Well, I'm not wild about the idea 36 00:01:18,763 --> 00:01:20,513 of her having two more board seats. 37 00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:23,680 I mean, she did kill Fiona right in front of us. 38 00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:25,805 Listen, don't worry about Laurie, okay? 39 00:01:25,889 --> 00:01:27,264 I'm gonna be your point person on this. 40 00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:29,763 She's got her plate full. She's raising money to recover 41 00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:31,306 from the whole Eklow debacle. 42 00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:32,347 Okay. 43 00:01:32,431 --> 00:01:34,347 So... to you guys. 44 00:01:34,431 --> 00:01:35,930 All right. 45 00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:37,139 Cheers. Cheers. 46 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,222 Richard: Yup, thanks. 47 00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:45,014 All right. I have a dinner meeting 48 00:01:45,097 --> 00:01:46,847 and I kind of feel like a fifth wheel, 49 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:50,014 so I'm gonna pick up the check, leave you to celebrate. 50 00:01:50,097 --> 00:01:51,139 Congrats again, guys. 51 00:01:51,222 --> 00:01:52,264 Okay. 52 00:01:52,347 --> 00:01:53,431 Jared: Bye. 53 00:01:57,805 --> 00:02:00,181 Well, the only person we don't spend 54 00:02:00,264 --> 00:02:02,222 20 hours a day with just left. 55 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,389 So. 56 00:02:05,264 --> 00:02:06,805 What's new with you guys? 57 00:02:09,055 --> 00:02:12,597 Well, I'm thinking of buying some new bookkeeping software. 58 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,181 All right. I think the only actual way to celebrate 59 00:02:15,264 --> 00:02:17,597 is to spend one waking minute apart, so. 60 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,722 I'm gonna go. 61 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,638 Are you going home? Let's... let's share an Uber. 62 00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:22,055 Oh, well, if you're going that direction, 63 00:02:22,139 --> 00:02:23,555 I'm... I'm driving, so I could drop you. 64 00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:24,889 Dinesh: Hey, Gilfoyle. Wanna play Fortnite? 65 00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:26,889 Oh, hold on, I didn't know we were playing Fortnite. 66 00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:28,389 Yeah, I'll come along. 67 00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:38,472 Synced & corrected by MaxPayne == https://subscene.com == 68 00:02:39,805 --> 00:02:41,597 ♪ ♪ 69 00:02:43,972 --> 00:02:46,638 I would've taken that plate to the sink for you. 70 00:02:46,722 --> 00:02:49,014 Uh, it's okay. I just finished, so. 71 00:02:49,097 --> 00:02:51,181 How was the sandwich I made you? Was it good? 72 00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:52,722 Good condiment blend? 73 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:54,264 Yeah. It was perfect, thanks. 74 00:02:54,347 --> 00:02:55,472 Richard. 75 00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:57,181 This might be out of line, but... 76 00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,347 would you mind telling Jared how much you enjoyed the sandwich? 77 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,139 I'm finding him a little intimidating. 78 00:03:02,222 --> 00:03:05,222 Sure, yeah. Look, I know he can be a little eccentric. 79 00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:06,972 I tend to hold my breath around him. 80 00:03:07,055 --> 00:03:08,680 It's exacerbating my asthma. 81 00:03:08,763 --> 00:03:10,805 Ooh, okay... 82 00:03:10,889 --> 00:03:12,805 Richard, do you have a moment? 83 00:03:16,181 --> 00:03:20,972 You know what? Holden just made me a really good sandwich. 84 00:03:21,055 --> 00:03:23,472 Oh, well, that's nice. 85 00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:25,181 Yeah. Yep. 86 00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:26,347 (clears throat) 87 00:03:27,889 --> 00:03:30,972 Did he ask you to mention that to me? 88 00:03:32,014 --> 00:03:33,972 What? No. 89 00:03:34,055 --> 00:03:36,472 Okay. No, he's... he's just great. 90 00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:40,139 Well, "In doing what we ought, we deserve no praise 91 00:03:40,222 --> 00:03:41,847 because it is our duty." 92 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,763 St. Augustine. 93 00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:45,055 So, um... 94 00:03:45,139 --> 00:03:46,972 I've been keeping track of the compute credits 95 00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:48,222 that you gave to Laurie. 96 00:03:48,306 --> 00:03:50,055 And she sold them to Gigglybots 97 00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:52,555 and then Gigglybots sold them to SmashHub. 98 00:03:52,638 --> 00:03:54,347 And they traded hands a few more times, 99 00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,638 the price increasing each time until they were 100 00:03:56,722 --> 00:03:59,181 bought by a venture fund in Mountain View. 101 00:03:59,264 --> 00:04:01,722 Okay, uh, so if we wanted to buy them back, 102 00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:03,139 how much would it cost us? 103 00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:05,638 It's $1.6 million. 104 00:04:05,722 --> 00:04:07,431 What? The fuck? 105 00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:12,055 More like that? Yeah. 106 00:04:12,139 --> 00:04:13,680 Danny: So Dinesh, is it true? 107 00:04:13,763 --> 00:04:14,805 Is series B happening? 108 00:04:14,889 --> 00:04:15,972 We all heard it's happening. 109 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:18,389 Oh, guys, please, you know I can't talk to you 110 00:04:18,472 --> 00:04:19,972 about upper level management stuff. 111 00:04:20,055 --> 00:04:22,139 It's totally happening. Look at his face. 112 00:04:22,222 --> 00:04:23,306 He has the worst poker face. 113 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,472 No. Don't... don't look at my face. 114 00:04:25,555 --> 00:04:26,472 This is great news. 115 00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:28,597 We're all getting big, fat bonuses. 116 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,306 I was a little worried I made a mistake ordering that Tesla. 117 00:04:31,389 --> 00:04:33,597 Sorry, Tesla? What Tesla? 118 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,638 Model S. Same as yours. 119 00:04:35,722 --> 00:04:39,055 I mean, not exactly the same. I ordered the P100D. 120 00:04:39,139 --> 00:04:40,014 Newer model. 121 00:04:40,097 --> 00:04:41,306 It's got longer battery life... 122 00:04:41,389 --> 00:04:43,097 You know what? This is a workplace. 123 00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:45,597 This is not a fucking slumber party, gabbing, gabbing. 124 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,513 And series B is not a done deal. 125 00:04:47,597 --> 00:04:50,181 Despite what my face says, okay? 126 00:04:50,264 --> 00:04:51,222 Don't trust this face. 127 00:04:51,306 --> 00:04:53,264 No one should ever trust this face. 128 00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:56,097 Congrats on the Tesla, Danny. 129 00:04:56,181 --> 00:04:57,597 So excited for you. 130 00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,930 Series B, baby! 131 00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:02,264 Fuck Danny. 132 00:05:02,347 --> 00:05:03,847 I mean, I love my Tesla. 133 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,014 It has Insane Mode, 134 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:08,680 which means it goes zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds, 135 00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:10,431 which is literally insane. 136 00:05:10,513 --> 00:05:14,097 But the Tesla that Danny ordered has Ludicrous Mode, 137 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,638 which means it goes zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds. 138 00:05:17,722 --> 00:05:22,805 So it's gonna take me an entire 0.4 seconds longer to get to 60. 139 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,722 I mean, how would you feel if one of your neighbors 140 00:05:24,805 --> 00:05:26,597 got a tiki head bigger than yours? 141 00:05:27,472 --> 00:05:29,972 Oh, well, when we bought it, 142 00:05:30,055 --> 00:05:32,014 we made sure it was the biggest one they made, so. 143 00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:35,889 You're the biggest tiki head guy in the neighborhood. 144 00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:38,222 I used to be the Tesla guy in the office. 145 00:05:38,306 --> 00:05:41,222 I maxed out my credit cards to be able to afford that thing. 146 00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:42,555 And now that we're getting series B, 147 00:05:42,638 --> 00:05:45,847 any one of these bourgeois new money millennial fucks 148 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,513 can just go out and buy one. 149 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,222 I don't wanna sound selfish, 150 00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:54,014 but sometimes I wish only I made money. You know? 151 00:05:54,097 --> 00:05:55,139 What are we talking about, here? 152 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,597 You want us to launch a cryptocurrency? 153 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,847 I do. 154 00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:00,930 The fact that people are willing to pay many multiples more 155 00:06:01,014 --> 00:06:02,930 for our compute credits than they're worth, 156 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,930 we have an opportunity here. 157 00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,389 Worth is relative, Richard. 158 00:06:06,472 --> 00:06:07,597 What do you mean? 159 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,431 Why do people covet 160 00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:13,055 the silly pieces of green cotton paper in their wallets? 161 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,763 It's because we are all sheep. 162 00:06:15,847 --> 00:06:18,763 And we've mutually agreed to endow certain things 163 00:06:18,847 --> 00:06:20,097 with value. 164 00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:22,555 And right now, for some reason, 165 00:06:22,638 --> 00:06:26,014 the market values our credits more than we did. 166 00:06:26,097 --> 00:06:27,930 Gilfoyle, we're not gonna suddenly pivot 167 00:06:28,014 --> 00:06:29,763 and become a digital currency company. 168 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:30,930 I'm not proposing a pivot. 169 00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:33,389 I'm proposing that we sell digital currency 170 00:06:33,472 --> 00:06:36,472 as a way to finance our new Internet company. 171 00:06:36,555 --> 00:06:40,014 You wanted an alternative to Laurie Bream. 172 00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:41,889 Well, it's right here in front of you. 173 00:06:41,972 --> 00:06:43,847 PiedPiperCoin. 174 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:45,972 Okay, look, I... 175 00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,055 I'm not gonna bet the entire future 176 00:06:48,139 --> 00:06:51,181 of my new Internet and everything I've worked for 177 00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:53,347 on becoming the next Bitcoin. 178 00:06:53,431 --> 00:06:55,347 You really expect me to do that? 179 00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:59,638 There are very few things that I will defend with true passion: 180 00:06:59,722 --> 00:07:01,222 Medical marijuana, 181 00:07:01,306 --> 00:07:05,847 the biblical Satan as a metaphor for rebellion against tyranny, 182 00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:08,972 and mother fucking Goddamn cryptocurrency. 183 00:07:09,055 --> 00:07:10,597 Mmm. 184 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,389 I have a PowerPoint that I've been wanting to show you for some time. 185 00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:16,472 Gavin: Walk me through this. 186 00:07:16,555 --> 00:07:18,472 We can't make our boxes in China 187 00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:19,638 because Yao has threatened 188 00:07:19,722 --> 00:07:21,347 every manufacturer in the country. 189 00:07:21,431 --> 00:07:22,389 That's right. 190 00:07:22,472 --> 00:07:23,680 We can't afford Bangladesh, 191 00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,431 because the workers have unionized. 192 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,347 Sadly, correct. 193 00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:29,014 And we can't use our place in Laos, 194 00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:31,805 because one person gets her scalp ripped off 195 00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:34,680 and suddenly, everyone's screaming regulations. 196 00:07:34,763 --> 00:07:35,638 Yes. 197 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,097 You know, you hear a lot of chatter 198 00:07:37,181 --> 00:07:39,014 about the growth of the global economy, 199 00:07:39,097 --> 00:07:40,930 but no one wants to talk about the downside. 200 00:07:41,014 --> 00:07:45,014 Gavin, there is one other manufacturing option we haven't discussed yet, 201 00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,472 which considering the current circumstances, 202 00:07:47,555 --> 00:07:49,431 might be worth consideration. 203 00:07:49,513 --> 00:07:51,889 I'm open to anything. 204 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,055 America. 205 00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:55,555 Fuck you. 206 00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:57,306 I feel the same way. 207 00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,889 But we were recently contacted 208 00:07:58,972 --> 00:08:01,139 by the mayor of Goldbriar, North Carolina. 209 00:08:01,222 --> 00:08:03,555 They had a DVR manufacturing plant that closed. 210 00:08:03,638 --> 00:08:05,347 The retooling would be minimal. 211 00:08:05,431 --> 00:08:06,722 Sco They've got a skilled labor pool 212 00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:09,389 just sitting idle and they sound desperate. 213 00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:11,181 Really? 214 00:08:11,264 --> 00:08:12,222 How desperate? 215 00:08:12,306 --> 00:08:13,513 It was pitiful. 216 00:08:13,597 --> 00:08:14,805 Really? 217 00:08:15,805 --> 00:08:18,889 In 350 BCE, 218 00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:22,431 Aristotle defined sound money as being 219 00:08:22,513 --> 00:08:23,930 durable, transferable, 220 00:08:24,014 --> 00:08:26,347 divisible, scarce, recognizable... 221 00:08:26,431 --> 00:08:28,055 Gilfoyle? And fungible. 222 00:08:28,139 --> 00:08:29,055 What? 223 00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:31,389 Can we skip ahead 2,400 years? 224 00:08:31,472 --> 00:08:34,055 I mean, I know what cryptocurrency is. 225 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,805 Richard, a lot of work went into this presentation. 226 00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:38,638 Okay. Fine. 227 00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:43,222 But you're missing out on a lot of wisdom, here. 228 00:08:45,472 --> 00:08:47,431 Why don't you tell me what you know 229 00:08:47,513 --> 00:08:49,930 about Bitcoin as a jumping-off point? 230 00:08:50,014 --> 00:08:51,431 Okay, sure. 231 00:08:51,513 --> 00:08:54,847 Uh, well, I'm pretty sure it was founded by a Japanese guy... 232 00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:56,472 Or guys, or girls, 233 00:08:56,555 --> 00:08:59,889 going by the name Satoshi Nakamoto in 2008. 234 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,264 True identity still unknown. 235 00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:03,763 Okay, look, every day I read an article 236 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,097 about how we're in a Bitcoin bubble. 237 00:09:06,181 --> 00:09:08,431 And who is writing those articles? 238 00:09:08,513 --> 00:09:10,222 I don't wanna say the establishment. 239 00:09:10,306 --> 00:09:12,597 But is it possible that Warren Buffett 240 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,181 called Bitcoin a pyramid scheme 241 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:19,014 because he has 92 billion conventional dollars to protect? 242 00:09:19,097 --> 00:09:22,347 Let's say he's right. Let's say Bitcoin dies. 243 00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:25,472 So what? MySpace, Friendster, they both died. 244 00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:28,222 But they paved the way for other social media tripe 245 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,055 like Facebook and Twitter 246 00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:32,597 to completely overrun the planet. 247 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,014 Crypto is out there. 248 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,680 And it's not going away. 249 00:09:37,763 --> 00:09:39,972 It just feels sketchy. 250 00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:44,763 In the same way that a new Internet is sketchy, Richard? 251 00:09:44,847 --> 00:09:46,847 Well... What is crypto? 252 00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:49,972 If not decentralized, anonymous, secure, 253 00:09:50,055 --> 00:09:53,181 and an existential threat to the powers that be? 254 00:09:53,264 --> 00:09:55,472 I would think that you'd be all-in on something like that. 255 00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:59,055 Yeah. But do you really think we can create a currency 256 00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:00,555 worth $30 million? 257 00:10:00,638 --> 00:10:02,139 Because that's what we'd be giving up. 258 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:04,972 Maybe. Probably even more. 259 00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:06,597 But even if it's less, 260 00:10:07,513 --> 00:10:10,680 we would still gain control, autonomy, 261 00:10:10,763 --> 00:10:11,930 board seats and shares, 262 00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:16,014 and you wouldn't have to rely on a VC who once fired you 263 00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:17,763 from your own company. 264 00:10:20,055 --> 00:10:21,264 So, there is a mode 265 00:10:21,347 --> 00:10:23,722 above Ludicrous Mode. Am I correct? 266 00:10:23,805 --> 00:10:25,763 Yes. It's called Plaid. 267 00:10:25,847 --> 00:10:28,431 And it comes standard on the new Tesla Roadster. 268 00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:29,805 How do I get into one of these babies? 269 00:10:29,889 --> 00:10:33,472 Simple. You put down a $50,000 deposit today. 270 00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:35,014 Okay. 271 00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,597 And you'll be behind the wheel 272 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,139 as soon as they become available. 273 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,472 And how quickly will that be, Stephanie? 274 00:10:40,555 --> 00:10:42,722 Soon. We're thinking a few years, 275 00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,389 which goes by fast. 276 00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:46,347 My daughter was a teenager in high school. 277 00:10:46,431 --> 00:10:48,472 Next thing I knew... I'm gonna stop you right there. 278 00:10:48,555 --> 00:10:51,722 Your oily salesmanship is starting to really irritate me. 279 00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:52,889 Okay? 280 00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:55,389 I need to maintain my Tesla superiority, 281 00:10:55,472 --> 00:10:56,722 and I need to do it now. 282 00:10:56,805 --> 00:10:59,097 Okay, I'm looking at a new set of wheels here. 283 00:10:59,181 --> 00:11:00,722 The 21-inch Arachnids. 284 00:11:00,805 --> 00:11:03,763 Very nice. But they're not for sale. 285 00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:06,389 You can only get them through our referral awards program. 286 00:11:06,472 --> 00:11:08,222 You refer three other customers to us, 287 00:11:08,306 --> 00:11:12,055 they buy a vehicle and, zoop-zoop, you get the wheels. 288 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,972 So, if I get more people to buy Teslas, 289 00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:18,680 then I will have the wheels and no one else can get them? 290 00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:19,722 Not even Danny? 291 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,555 I'm sorry, who's Danny? 292 00:11:21,638 --> 00:11:23,555 He's the guy with the shitty wheels. 293 00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:26,889 Major Wilkins: And now, the CEO of Hooli, 294 00:11:26,972 --> 00:11:28,597 Mr. Gavin Belson. 295 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,680 (cheers and applause) 296 00:11:33,264 --> 00:11:34,972 Thank you, Mayor Wilkins. 297 00:11:35,055 --> 00:11:38,347 Thank you, Goldbriar, for this warm, wonderful welcome. 298 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,222 You know, being in North Carolina 299 00:11:40,306 --> 00:11:43,097 always feels like a bit of a homecoming for me. 300 00:11:43,181 --> 00:11:47,389 I own a vacation property just off the coast in Bermuda. 301 00:11:47,472 --> 00:11:50,055 Technically, it is my primary legal residence. 302 00:11:52,722 --> 00:11:54,431 Good people of Goldbriar, 303 00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,763 for too long, foreign interests 304 00:11:56,847 --> 00:11:59,680 have used unfair trade and labor practices 305 00:11:59,763 --> 00:12:03,014 to plunder American wealth and steal American jobs. 306 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,431 But I don't blame them for that. 307 00:12:04,513 --> 00:12:09,472 No. I blame weak, spineless American politicians. 308 00:12:09,555 --> 00:12:11,597 But if your mayor does his job, 309 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,889 your jobs will come back, 310 00:12:12,972 --> 00:12:15,597 and soon, you will proudly be building 311 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,972 the Gavin Belson Signature Box Three. 312 00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,097 (applause) But if for some reason 313 00:12:21,181 --> 00:12:25,055 he can't make my very reasonable proposal work, 314 00:12:25,139 --> 00:12:26,389 you know who to blame. 315 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,513 I'm excited to get started. 316 00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:31,680 What about y'all? 317 00:12:31,763 --> 00:12:33,181 (cheers and applause) 318 00:12:33,264 --> 00:12:37,306 (marching band plays) 319 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:40,889 ♪ ♪ 320 00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:43,264 (dramatic sting) 321 00:12:47,389 --> 00:12:49,555 ♪ ♪ 322 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,930 (sighs) 323 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,722 Jared: Hi, Holden. Oh. 324 00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:55,805 (dramatic sting) 325 00:12:56,805 --> 00:12:59,389 Jared. Hi. 326 00:12:59,472 --> 00:13:00,555 Hi. 327 00:13:01,555 --> 00:13:02,847 Can I ask you a question? 328 00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,389 Of course. 329 00:13:05,347 --> 00:13:07,347 Did you ask Richard to tell me 330 00:13:07,431 --> 00:13:10,889 that he liked the sandwich that you made for him? 331 00:13:11,972 --> 00:13:13,055 No. 332 00:13:17,638 --> 00:13:18,763 Is that the truth? 333 00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:20,805 Yes. 334 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,097 Okay. 335 00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:28,930 Okay. 336 00:13:31,347 --> 00:13:32,763 Good job with that plate. 337 00:13:34,431 --> 00:13:35,472 Thanks. 338 00:13:44,264 --> 00:13:45,555 (inhales deeply) 339 00:13:45,638 --> 00:13:48,139 Dinesh: Now, I can see the looks on your faces. 340 00:13:48,222 --> 00:13:49,722 I know what you're thinking. 341 00:13:49,805 --> 00:13:53,222 Why does Dinesh care so much if I buy a Tesla? 342 00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:54,763 I'll tell you why. 343 00:13:54,847 --> 00:13:57,472 Because Teslas are good for the world. 344 00:13:57,555 --> 00:14:00,055 Surprisingly pedestrian wheels, but you get over that. 345 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,722 So, come on. 346 00:14:01,805 --> 00:14:03,722 Series B, right? Cha-ching. 347 00:14:03,805 --> 00:14:06,014 I was gonna use that to pay off my student loans. 348 00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,014 That's boring. 349 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,597 And don't take this the wrong way, 350 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,763 but it seems like it's very important 351 00:14:10,847 --> 00:14:13,472 for you to be the Tesla guy in the office. 352 00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:14,889 Like, weirdly important. 353 00:14:14,972 --> 00:14:17,805 I'm not weird, you're weird. You guys are being so weird. 354 00:14:17,889 --> 00:14:21,222 Come on. What's it gonna take to get you into a Tesla today? 355 00:14:21,306 --> 00:14:24,555 Here. I've printed out hundreds of these. 356 00:14:24,638 --> 00:14:26,930 There you go. There you go, pass these on. 357 00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:28,347 Dave? Dave? 358 00:14:29,638 --> 00:14:32,014 All right, what's this interesting idea? 359 00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:33,638 Gilfoyle and I were talking. 360 00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:37,680 And this may seem a little out there at first, but... 361 00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:41,722 Instead of funding our launch with a series B, 362 00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:42,972 what about... 363 00:14:43,972 --> 00:14:44,972 an ICO? 364 00:14:46,847 --> 00:14:49,347 An initial coin offering? It's basically a... 365 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,306 Are you a fucking moron? 366 00:14:53,014 --> 00:14:55,097 Maybe I don't need to be here for this. 367 00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:56,472 Sit the fuck down. 368 00:14:56,555 --> 00:14:57,680 Okay. 369 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,638 Richard, what are you doing? 370 00:15:00,722 --> 00:15:02,555 Just exploring our options. 371 00:15:02,638 --> 00:15:04,805 Why? You don't think I have your back? 372 00:15:04,889 --> 00:15:06,680 Look, I get that you're giving up 373 00:15:06,763 --> 00:15:07,889 board seats and shares, 374 00:15:07,972 --> 00:15:09,805 but look what you're getting in return. 375 00:15:09,889 --> 00:15:12,972 As if the $30 million you were getting wasn't good enough, 376 00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:15,472 we provide you with marketing, networking, staffing. 377 00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:17,431 We help you negotiate partnerships 378 00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:18,638 and navigate regulations. 379 00:15:18,722 --> 00:15:21,597 All these things that are changing by the minute. 380 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,555 Gilfoyle, can you help with any of that? 381 00:15:24,638 --> 00:15:27,389 I'd rather just listen if it's all the same to you. 382 00:15:27,472 --> 00:15:29,638 Look, if you do an ICO, 383 00:15:29,722 --> 00:15:31,181 you're not only saying fuck you to us, 384 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,638 you're saying fuck you to all VCs. 385 00:15:32,722 --> 00:15:34,055 Jesus, Richard. Why would you even 386 00:15:34,139 --> 00:15:36,513 think it would be okay to talk to me about this? 387 00:15:36,597 --> 00:15:38,847 Like would you ask your wife who you should cheat with? 388 00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:40,389 No. 389 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,431 Well, maybe. 390 00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:42,555 I don't know, I... 391 00:15:42,638 --> 00:15:45,513 I guess I was just looking for advice from a friend. 392 00:15:45,597 --> 00:15:47,597 Oh, are we friends, Richard? 393 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,139 Yes, of course. Really? 394 00:15:49,222 --> 00:15:50,763 Have we spoken once in the past year 395 00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,972 about anything other than business? 396 00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:54,680 Yes. 397 00:15:54,763 --> 00:15:57,014 Wait. No. 398 00:15:57,097 --> 00:15:58,680 When's my birthday? Come on. 399 00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:00,597 Do I live in a house or an apartment? 400 00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:03,680 Did you even know that I was married? 401 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,847 You are? I was, I... 402 00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,597 had it annulled after three months. 403 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,722 Did he ask you who he should cheat with? 404 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,347 Look, you came for advice, fine. 405 00:16:15,431 --> 00:16:16,805 Forget an ICO. 406 00:16:16,889 --> 00:16:18,097 Okay? I'm sure Gilfoyle 407 00:16:18,181 --> 00:16:20,513 told you that he can handle all the technical stuff. 408 00:16:20,597 --> 00:16:22,555 But this is not just a math problem. 409 00:16:22,638 --> 00:16:26,847 They're my direct competition. I've done my homework on this. 410 00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,763 So before you walk away from stability 411 00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:31,722 and gamble your entire company on crypto, 412 00:16:31,805 --> 00:16:33,472 there's another "friend" of yours 413 00:16:33,555 --> 00:16:34,638 I think you should talk to. 414 00:16:36,181 --> 00:16:39,222 I was such a fucking pussy when Bitcoin broke, Richard. 415 00:16:39,306 --> 00:16:40,722 If I had the balls, 416 00:16:40,805 --> 00:16:42,847 I'd have put every penny I had into that shit 417 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:43,847 five years ago, 418 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,264 watched it go up, up, up, up, up 419 00:16:45,347 --> 00:16:47,555 and then pulled out right before it all came crashing down again. 420 00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,472 I mean, Jesus, why didn't I do that? 421 00:16:49,555 --> 00:16:51,930 Fuck me! But then, it occurred to me... 422 00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:54,889 I own 36 fucking companies, Richard. 423 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,181 If I make them all ICO, 424 00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:59,805 that's 36 bites at the apple. 425 00:16:59,889 --> 00:17:00,930 So I did it. 426 00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:03,431 You... you did 36 ICOs? Yup. 427 00:17:03,513 --> 00:17:05,389 Did they work? You know, one of the things 428 00:17:05,472 --> 00:17:07,638 being in the three comma club has taught me, Richard, 429 00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:08,930 is it's not always about money. 430 00:17:09,014 --> 00:17:10,680 Sometimes, it's about wisdom. 431 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:14,347 And did I lose a B? Close to it. Fuck! 432 00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:17,097 But I bet I gained two B in wisdom. 433 00:17:17,181 --> 00:17:18,847 So you lost it all? 434 00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:23,139 Ha, ha, Richard, if I didn't love this crazy guy so much, 435 00:17:23,222 --> 00:17:24,431 I'd knock his fucking teeth out. 436 00:17:24,513 --> 00:17:26,306 Nah, nah, I didn't lose it all. 437 00:17:26,389 --> 00:17:28,847 I mean, one of them got shut down by the SEC. 438 00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:30,638 On a few, we got scammed. 439 00:17:30,722 --> 00:17:32,014 But some of them worked. 440 00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:34,472 One of them worked. 441 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,431 One? One out of 36? 442 00:17:37,513 --> 00:17:38,472 Yeah. Listen, 443 00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:40,930 all the coin I had from the ICO that worked 444 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:42,472 was on a USB thumb drive. 445 00:17:42,555 --> 00:17:43,972 And my dumb fucking housekeeper 446 00:17:44,055 --> 00:17:45,472 threw out my jeans, 'cause they were ripped. 447 00:17:45,555 --> 00:17:46,972 Even though I paid more for the ripped ones. 448 00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:48,763 And the thumb drive was in the pocket, so. 449 00:17:48,847 --> 00:17:51,638 $300 million in crypto is buried out here, somewhere. 450 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,139 But my boys will find it. 451 00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:55,014 If they wanna get paid, right? 452 00:17:56,055 --> 00:17:57,306 And when they do, 453 00:17:57,389 --> 00:17:59,139 that coin could cover all the losers. 454 00:17:59,222 --> 00:18:01,555 I mean, it's up 3,000% in the last two weeks. 455 00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:03,805 If it keeps going like this over the next three, four months, 456 00:18:03,889 --> 00:18:05,638 we could be talking the four comma club! 457 00:18:05,722 --> 00:18:07,347 That's a T, not a B, Richard. (man whistling) 458 00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:09,847 Mr. Hanneman! Shit, you found it? 459 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:13,847 (laughs) Jose! Yes! No! 460 00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,431 I said a thumb drive. 461 00:18:15,513 --> 00:18:17,139 In the... that's an actual thumb. 462 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:19,805 That's a human... Just fucking put that back! 463 00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:23,347 Again, Richard... 464 00:18:23,431 --> 00:18:24,680 the math is sound. 465 00:18:24,763 --> 00:18:28,222 ♪ ♪ 466 00:18:30,513 --> 00:18:33,055 Well, Mayor, I sure have enjoyed our time together. 467 00:18:33,139 --> 00:18:34,347 Let me know when you get this done. 468 00:18:34,431 --> 00:18:37,347 Uh, Mr. Belson, I'm sorry, but this list of demands 469 00:18:37,431 --> 00:18:40,181 is not remotely workable for a community of our size. 470 00:18:40,264 --> 00:18:42,555 A mayor's job is never easy. 471 00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:43,889 But you'll find a way, 472 00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,431 if you care about your constituents. 473 00:18:45,513 --> 00:18:47,431 Mr. Belson, I grew up in this town. 474 00:18:47,513 --> 00:18:48,847 I've lived here my entire life. 475 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,889 I'd do anything to... Wait, wait, wait, wait. 476 00:18:50,972 --> 00:18:52,847 Your entire life? Mm-hmm. 477 00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:55,680 How old are you? Forty-seven. 478 00:18:55,763 --> 00:18:57,222 That's a little weird, isn't it? 479 00:18:57,306 --> 00:19:00,847 The point is, I'd do anything to help the people of this area. 480 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:05,055 But giving you public money on this scale would decimate our budget. 481 00:19:05,139 --> 00:19:07,513 I could have the local high school renamed after you. 482 00:19:07,597 --> 00:19:09,889 Rosa Parks has never even been to Goldbriar. 483 00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:11,431 I don't want a fucking high school. 484 00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:14,638 I wanna manufacture boxes at an 80% profit margin. 485 00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:15,805 I don't understand. 486 00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:17,513 All my asshole friends keep getting 487 00:19:17,597 --> 00:19:19,847 NFL stadiums and corporate headquarters, 488 00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:21,222 all fully paid for. 489 00:19:21,306 --> 00:19:24,347 And you can't make one fucking factory happen? 490 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:27,555 I mean, the only things I have left to cut are essential services. 491 00:19:27,638 --> 00:19:29,389 There you go. Do that. 492 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,055 You could have a volunteer fire department. 493 00:19:31,139 --> 00:19:33,431 Because I can't afford a penny more than this. 494 00:19:37,014 --> 00:19:38,472 Man: Everybody ready? 495 00:19:38,555 --> 00:19:39,847 (blows pitch pipe) 496 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,097 Two, three! 497 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,472 ♪ Oh Carolina prowl off ♪ ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ 498 00:19:43,555 --> 00:19:45,680 ♪ Jump an prance, oh Carolina ♪ 499 00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:48,264 ♪ Prowl off jump an prance ♪ ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ 500 00:19:48,347 --> 00:19:51,014 ♪ Oh Carolina gal prowl off ♪ 501 00:19:51,097 --> 00:19:53,306 ♪ Gal yuh fi jump an prance ♪ 502 00:19:53,389 --> 00:19:54,638 ♪ Prowl off ♪ ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ 503 00:19:54,722 --> 00:19:56,181 ♪ Jump and prance ♪ 504 00:19:56,264 --> 00:20:00,055 (jet engines revving) ♪ Carolina come bubble 'pon me ♪ 505 00:20:00,139 --> 00:20:03,680 ♪ Oh, watch how she groove ♪ 506 00:20:06,222 --> 00:20:08,055 Dinesh: So, pretty sweet, right? 507 00:20:08,139 --> 00:20:09,389 Woman: Yeah, it's nice. 508 00:20:09,472 --> 00:20:11,722 Sorry we couldn't find a safe spot to try Insane Mode. 509 00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:13,597 It feels like your kidneys are gonna get, like, 510 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,097 ripped right through the back of your body. 511 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,431 It's like... Yeah, I don't think I'd wanna do that. 512 00:20:17,513 --> 00:20:18,847 Well you don't need to do it. 513 00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:21,722 But you wanna be able to tell people that you can do it. 514 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:24,181 Right? It's like having a gun. 515 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,097 So, Charlie and Nadia have already said yes. 516 00:20:27,181 --> 00:20:29,722 You'll finally have something to talk to them about. 517 00:20:29,805 --> 00:20:31,513 Oh, let me think about it. 518 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,972 Fine. Okay, just pull into the designated EV...2.8 seconds. 519 00:20:35,055 --> 00:20:36,472 Oh, fuck. 520 00:20:36,555 --> 00:20:37,972 Danny already got his car. 521 00:20:38,055 --> 00:20:40,513 I'll pay your down payment and first three months. Do we have a deal? 522 00:20:40,597 --> 00:20:41,889 Wow, really? 523 00:20:43,264 --> 00:20:44,389 Make it six months. 524 00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:46,555 Fine! Okay, just go. 525 00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:48,472 Hide before Danny sees us in this shitty car. 526 00:20:48,555 --> 00:20:49,972 Go, go, go. Go. Wow, uh... 527 00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:52,139 ♪ ♪ 528 00:20:52,222 --> 00:20:53,930 (phone vibrating) 529 00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:55,097 Hello? 530 00:20:55,181 --> 00:20:56,638 Hey, guess what? 531 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,889 My boss just bought me a car! 532 00:21:00,055 --> 00:21:02,555 What? No! Ew. Ugh! 533 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,472 Richard? Ron LaFlamme's office just called. 534 00:21:07,555 --> 00:21:10,306 And the series B paperwork is ready for you to sign. 535 00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:13,264 Okay. 536 00:21:13,347 --> 00:21:16,638 Uh, well, then I guess I'll just go over there and sign it. 537 00:21:16,722 --> 00:21:19,347 Richard, I know you were pinning your hopes on the ICO, 538 00:21:19,431 --> 00:21:22,014 but I... I think series B is the right call. 539 00:21:22,097 --> 00:21:24,097 Yeah, no, I... I hope so. 540 00:21:24,181 --> 00:21:26,055 We're gonna get the money we need to launch, 541 00:21:26,139 --> 00:21:28,597 and everyone out there is gonna get a great bonus. 542 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,513 And then, you're gonna have an army of happy 543 00:21:31,597 --> 00:21:33,805 and highly motivated workers... 544 00:21:34,930 --> 00:21:35,889 Richard: Jared? 545 00:21:35,972 --> 00:21:37,306 Everything okay with Holden? 546 00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:39,306 You mean, like, mentally? 547 00:21:39,389 --> 00:21:41,014 I was wondering that, too. 548 00:21:41,097 --> 00:21:43,306 No. No, no. Just, like... 549 00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:44,722 like, with you and him. 550 00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:47,722 Just seems like you're being really hard on him. 551 00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,014 Do you like him? 552 00:21:49,097 --> 00:21:50,847 Yeah. I mean, sure. 553 00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:53,930 Okay. It's okay if you like him. 554 00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:55,722 That's all that matters, right? 555 00:21:55,805 --> 00:21:56,722 Yeah. 556 00:21:56,805 --> 00:21:59,055 Okay. Well, I'll see you when, uh... 557 00:21:59,139 --> 00:22:01,680 I'll see you when you get back from LaFlamme's. 558 00:22:01,763 --> 00:22:05,264 ♪ ♪ 559 00:22:05,347 --> 00:22:06,972 (dramatic sting) 560 00:22:11,805 --> 00:22:14,472 Laurie: Every institutional investor to whom I reached out 561 00:22:14,555 --> 00:22:16,306 agreed to participate in our second fund. 562 00:22:16,389 --> 00:22:20,389 The capital issues we faced due to Eklow's failure 563 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:21,513 have been remedied. 564 00:22:21,597 --> 00:22:23,638 Laurie, you are a badass. 565 00:22:25,805 --> 00:22:27,722 Ah, yes. A compliment. 566 00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:31,389 Well, I think the numbers in our new prospectus 567 00:22:31,513 --> 00:22:33,014 speak for themselves. 568 00:22:35,513 --> 00:22:38,513 Sorry, you're projecting that 70% of Pied Piper's 569 00:22:38,597 --> 00:22:41,722 operating income is gonna come from ad sales, but... 570 00:22:41,805 --> 00:22:43,222 Pied Piper's not gonna sell ads. 571 00:22:43,306 --> 00:22:46,347 Yes. I understand that is their current position. 572 00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,889 No, Laurie, when we offered them their series B, 573 00:22:48,972 --> 00:22:51,389 I promised Richard that we would never make them 574 00:22:51,472 --> 00:22:52,722 harvest data or sell ads. 575 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:55,805 However, that language is not part of their term sheet. 576 00:22:55,889 --> 00:22:59,889 I am not saying that we will force their hand on this issue. 577 00:22:59,972 --> 00:23:04,680 But neither am I saying definitively that we will not. 578 00:23:04,763 --> 00:23:08,722 Okay, but you and I, we are partners, right? 579 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:09,889 Of course. 580 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,763 Any decision we make, we will certainly make together. 581 00:23:12,847 --> 00:23:15,431 Good. As long as that's clear. 582 00:23:15,513 --> 00:23:17,847 And again, great job closing our funding. 583 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,763 Ah, yes. Huzzah. Onward. 584 00:23:25,347 --> 00:23:27,597 ♪ ♪ 585 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:28,638 Laurie, did you have 586 00:23:28,722 --> 00:23:30,638 the big, hairy question put back on my wall? 587 00:23:30,722 --> 00:23:32,055 Yes. I like it there. 588 00:23:32,139 --> 00:23:33,222 But I don't. 589 00:23:34,264 --> 00:23:35,264 And yet... 590 00:23:40,222 --> 00:23:42,513 All right. One more, right there. 591 00:23:42,597 --> 00:23:45,389 And done-zo. 592 00:23:45,472 --> 00:23:47,222 Series ba-bam. 593 00:23:47,306 --> 00:23:48,805 Richard, don't sign it. 594 00:23:48,889 --> 00:23:49,972 Look, I can't protect you. 595 00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:51,972 At some point, Laurie's gonna fuck you over 596 00:23:52,055 --> 00:23:53,347 and make you sell ads. What? 597 00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:55,055 And I don't think there's anything I can do about it. 598 00:23:55,139 --> 00:23:58,181 Don't sign the deal. I just did. It's done. 599 00:23:58,264 --> 00:23:59,472 Jesus Christ. 600 00:23:59,555 --> 00:24:00,847 Laurie's gonna sell ads. 601 00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:02,763 Isn't that what I told you? 602 00:24:02,847 --> 00:24:04,763 What the fuck am I supposed to do now? 603 00:24:04,847 --> 00:24:06,264 (bang) God! 604 00:24:06,347 --> 00:24:08,930 You know I can just tear these up, right? 605 00:24:12,472 --> 00:24:14,139 No, I know. Good. 606 00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:17,181 Gavin: I like it. 607 00:24:17,264 --> 00:24:19,181 But can we adjust the proportions? 608 00:24:19,264 --> 00:24:20,847 Make the logo bigger? 609 00:24:20,930 --> 00:24:23,014 And... and make the flag bigger? 610 00:24:23,097 --> 00:24:25,139 And... and make the box bigger, too. 611 00:24:25,222 --> 00:24:27,555 It all just needs to be bigger. 612 00:24:27,638 --> 00:24:29,014 Okay. 613 00:24:29,097 --> 00:24:30,680 Bigger. Yeah. 614 00:24:30,763 --> 00:24:33,014 Sir. Ah, Hoover. 615 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:34,680 How's the factory coming? 616 00:24:34,763 --> 00:24:35,972 We almost online? 617 00:24:36,055 --> 00:24:38,264 Not exactly, sir. 618 00:24:38,347 --> 00:24:39,347 It's gone. 619 00:24:39,431 --> 00:24:40,763 What do you mean? 620 00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:42,805 Did that dipshit mayor renege on our deal? 621 00:24:42,889 --> 00:24:44,472 No, he made every effort, 622 00:24:44,555 --> 00:24:46,472 including having the factory repainted. 623 00:24:46,555 --> 00:24:48,097 Okay. So what's the problem? 624 00:24:48,181 --> 00:24:51,722 Well, apparently, the painters left some oily rags in a garbage can. 625 00:24:51,805 --> 00:24:55,513 Mm-hmm. But because of cuts to the sanitation service, 626 00:24:55,597 --> 00:24:56,972 the trash was not collected 627 00:24:57,055 --> 00:24:58,763 and the rags smoldered and caught fire. 628 00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:01,139 And because of cuts to the fire department, 629 00:25:01,222 --> 00:25:02,222 the blaze spread. 630 00:25:02,306 --> 00:25:04,264 A number of concerned citizens 631 00:25:04,347 --> 00:25:05,722 volunteered to help fight the fire, 632 00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:08,638 but because the water was cut off, they could not. 633 00:25:08,722 --> 00:25:09,972 Okay, so what happened? 634 00:25:10,055 --> 00:25:12,805 Well, the vast majority of our expensive, rare earth materials 635 00:25:12,889 --> 00:25:13,805 survived the fire. 636 00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:15,222 Well, that's something. 637 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:16,889 Until the flames abated, 638 00:25:16,972 --> 00:25:19,139 when because of mass layoffs of police, 639 00:25:19,222 --> 00:25:21,389 the locals that were there to fight the fire 640 00:25:21,472 --> 00:25:24,597 decided instead to loot the burned-out factory. 641 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,472 The National Guard attempted to reach the factory 642 00:25:27,555 --> 00:25:28,638 to help stop this, but... 643 00:25:28,722 --> 00:25:30,930 The roads. The roads, sir, yes. 644 00:25:31,014 --> 00:25:32,264 Okay. 645 00:25:32,347 --> 00:25:34,264 So, we lost it all? 646 00:25:34,347 --> 00:25:35,763 Everything? Yes. 647 00:25:37,222 --> 00:25:38,847 Also, the IRS called. 648 00:25:38,930 --> 00:25:41,014 Somehow, they found out about Bermuda. 649 00:25:42,555 --> 00:25:46,431 ♪ ♪ 650 00:25:46,513 --> 00:25:48,597 Look, when you take it all into account, 651 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,222 turning down our series B 652 00:25:50,306 --> 00:25:51,889 and doing an ICO to fund your launch, 653 00:25:51,972 --> 00:25:54,222 may actually give you the best odds. 654 00:25:54,306 --> 00:25:56,097 You said ICOs are suicide. 655 00:25:56,181 --> 00:25:57,306 Well, I'm a VC 656 00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,597 and some of that might have been self-preservational. 657 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:00,972 Okay. 658 00:26:01,055 --> 00:26:03,347 Well, even if you were exaggerating, you're still right. 659 00:26:03,431 --> 00:26:06,972 I mean, Russ Hanneman had 36 chances to make an ICO work 660 00:26:07,055 --> 00:26:08,264 and he basically failed. 661 00:26:08,347 --> 00:26:09,347 I only have one. 662 00:26:09,431 --> 00:26:11,847 Look, Gilfoyle can handle all the technical stuff. 663 00:26:11,930 --> 00:26:13,222 You just need to hire someone 664 00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:14,389 who can handle the business side. 665 00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:16,222 Like who? I don't know. 666 00:26:16,306 --> 00:26:18,972 I'm sorry, but I gotta Uber back to the office 667 00:26:19,055 --> 00:26:20,389 before Laurie realizes I'm gone. 668 00:26:20,472 --> 00:26:22,055 No, no, wait. Who do I hire? 669 00:26:22,139 --> 00:26:24,264 Someone who understands securities, right? 670 00:26:24,347 --> 00:26:25,347 Not necessarily. 671 00:26:25,431 --> 00:26:27,097 I mean, your coin doesn't have to be a security. 672 00:26:27,181 --> 00:26:29,097 You could do a utility token instead, 673 00:26:29,181 --> 00:26:30,930 since you provide an actual unit of compute. 674 00:26:31,014 --> 00:26:33,264 Although, you'd have to convince the SEC. 675 00:26:34,389 --> 00:26:35,972 Damn it. Surge pricing. 676 00:26:36,055 --> 00:26:37,889 Monica. You might not even need to bother 677 00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:40,097 with a moving average pricing strategy when you launch. 678 00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:41,805 But you will need to keep a close eye on 679 00:26:41,889 --> 00:26:43,389 statements from the federal government, 680 00:26:43,472 --> 00:26:44,431 South Korea, and China. 681 00:26:44,513 --> 00:26:46,014 So, whoever you do hire 682 00:26:46,097 --> 00:26:47,680 should definitely know how to do all that. 683 00:26:47,763 --> 00:26:48,680 Okay, six minutes. 684 00:26:48,763 --> 00:26:50,889 Monica. What? 685 00:26:50,972 --> 00:26:52,264 It's you. 686 00:26:52,347 --> 00:26:53,513 You're the right person. 687 00:26:53,597 --> 00:26:55,431 No. 688 00:26:55,513 --> 00:26:56,847 No. No, no, no, no, no. 689 00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:58,431 Come on. Give me one good reason. 690 00:26:59,555 --> 00:27:01,972 I... love my job. 691 00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,055 You hate working for Laurie. 692 00:27:03,139 --> 00:27:06,347 With Laurie, okay? We are both equal partners. 693 00:27:06,431 --> 00:27:07,597 Okay. 694 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,805 Look, Monica. I will do the ICO. 695 00:27:10,889 --> 00:27:12,805 But only if you do it with me. 696 00:27:16,139 --> 00:27:17,139 Come on. 697 00:27:18,306 --> 00:27:19,389 Wait, what's happening? 698 00:27:20,513 --> 00:27:21,805 Canceling my Uber. 699 00:27:23,638 --> 00:27:25,680 So, you're in? Fuck it. 700 00:27:25,763 --> 00:27:26,805 I'm in. (laughs) 701 00:27:26,889 --> 00:27:27,889 Fuck series B. 702 00:27:27,972 --> 00:27:29,722 PiedPiperCoin is totally gonna work. 703 00:27:29,805 --> 00:27:32,181 Yes. It is. It totally is. 704 00:27:37,638 --> 00:27:38,889 Dinesh: So, just to confirm, 705 00:27:38,972 --> 00:27:40,847 in order for this coin to be worth 706 00:27:40,930 --> 00:27:42,638 what series B was worth to all of us, 707 00:27:42,722 --> 00:27:44,389 it has to sell for how much? 708 00:27:44,472 --> 00:27:46,347 $68. 709 00:27:46,431 --> 00:27:47,555 Dinesh: I see. 710 00:27:47,638 --> 00:27:51,222 And seven cents is less than that. 711 00:27:51,306 --> 00:27:52,389 Yup. 712 00:27:52,472 --> 00:27:54,347 Whose idea was this again? 713 00:27:54,431 --> 00:27:57,597 I believe the initial idea was Gilfoyle's. 714 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,306 To be fair, it was Monica 715 00:27:59,389 --> 00:28:01,889 who really pushed it over the goal line. 716 00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:04,722 Well, I'm gonna head down to the Tesla dealer 717 00:28:04,805 --> 00:28:06,805 and beg them to take my car back. 718 00:28:07,889 --> 00:28:09,930 Well, that's something. 719 00:28:10,014 --> 00:28:11,680 And my two referrals fell through. 720 00:28:11,763 --> 00:28:13,097 And I had to return mine. 721 00:28:13,181 --> 00:28:15,805 So now the only Tesla in the office is Priyanka's 722 00:28:15,889 --> 00:28:17,389 and I'm paying for that. 723 00:28:17,472 --> 00:28:19,014 So, that's cool. 724 00:28:19,097 --> 00:28:21,763 Richard, adversity is a great teacher. 725 00:28:21,847 --> 00:28:23,680 Just like cigarette burns. 726 00:28:26,472 --> 00:28:28,680 (phone ringing, vibrating) 727 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,555 Laurie, hi. 728 00:28:33,638 --> 00:28:34,555 Laurie: Monica. 729 00:28:34,638 --> 00:28:37,680 Congratulations on the ICO. (scoffs) 730 00:28:37,763 --> 00:28:41,930 Yeah, yeah. Not quite the numbers we were hoping for. 731 00:28:42,014 --> 00:28:43,513 I'm sure you're happy about that. 732 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:45,097 On the contrary. 733 00:28:45,181 --> 00:28:46,722 Monica, you have certain values. 734 00:28:46,805 --> 00:28:49,222 And I see no reason you should not work with companies that share them. 735 00:28:49,306 --> 00:28:53,805 Similarly, I should work with companies that share my values. 736 00:28:53,889 --> 00:28:55,139 So, no hard feelings? 737 00:28:55,222 --> 00:28:57,972 No feelings at all, Monica. 738 00:28:58,055 --> 00:28:59,181 We are friends 739 00:28:59,264 --> 00:29:01,805 and we should not let business get in the way of that. 740 00:29:01,889 --> 00:29:05,014 Speaking of, I am stepping into a meeting. 741 00:29:05,097 --> 00:29:08,097 Right, well, I'm surprised you're taking this so well, 742 00:29:08,181 --> 00:29:09,472 I really appreciate it, Laurie. 743 00:29:09,555 --> 00:29:10,763 Let us talk soon. 744 00:29:13,472 --> 00:29:16,722 (speaking Chinese) 745 00:29:18,306 --> 00:29:20,139 (speaks Chinese) 746 00:29:20,222 --> 00:29:21,513 Have you received my proposal? 747 00:29:21,597 --> 00:29:23,555 (speaks Chinese) Very promising. 748 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:29,181 ("Metalstorm" by Cut Chemist) 749 00:29:29,264 --> 00:29:31,847 ♪ In the land of the lost, we lay down law ♪ 750 00:29:31,930 --> 00:29:34,264 ♪ Chopping off your head to take your face on tour ♪ 751 00:29:34,347 --> 00:29:36,847 ♪ Lacerate your lips, then we shave off more ♪ 752 00:29:36,930 --> 00:29:39,014 ♪ Electrocute your body through the encore ♪ 753 00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:41,472 ♪ When the cops come and try to raid the jams ♪ 754 00:29:41,555 --> 00:29:43,847 ♪ I change my physical form to that of a ram ♪ 755 00:29:43,930 --> 00:29:45,930 ♪ Alakazam, I'm half of a man ♪ 756 00:29:46,014 --> 00:29:48,513 ♪ The other part of me operates robotically ♪ 757 00:29:48,597 --> 00:29:50,805 ♪ Psychology is the dominant factor ♪ 758 00:29:50,889 --> 00:29:53,513 ♪ Believe in the holograms and step into the backdoor ♪ 759 00:29:53,597 --> 00:29:55,472 ♪ Out for AM, more mayhem ♪ 760 00:29:55,555 --> 00:29:58,181 ♪ Five fatal steps to death unless we trace them ♪ 761 00:29:58,264 --> 00:30:00,097 ♪ Five: Hesitate to get live ♪ 762 00:30:00,181 --> 00:30:02,722 ♪ Your career's postmortem, now you can't survive ♪ 763 00:30:02,805 --> 00:30:04,680 ♪ Four: Perpetuate the folklore ♪ 764 00:30:04,763 --> 00:30:07,347 ♪ Live a lie, you can't identify yourself no more ♪ 765 00:30:07,431 --> 00:30:09,347 ♪ Three: Call yourself an MC ♪ 766 00:30:09,431 --> 00:30:11,889 ♪ Practice minimally and start fucking with me ♪ 767 00:30:11,972 --> 00:30:14,555 ♪ Or the sorcery to the ultimate degree ♪ 768 00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:16,680 ♪ W-A-R W-M-D ♪ 769 00:30:16,763 --> 00:30:18,930 ♪ C-W-O fall in love with the dough ♪ 770 00:30:19,014 --> 00:30:20,181 ♪ Till your spiritual essence ♪ 771 00:30:20,264 --> 00:30:21,638 ♪ Is something that you don't know about ♪ 772 00:30:21,722 --> 00:30:23,347 ♪ Half the time, they don't rhyme ♪ 773 00:30:23,431 --> 00:30:25,055 ♪ Half the time, they all lying ♪ 774 00:30:25,139 --> 00:30:26,930 ♪ Half the time, they all mine ♪ 775 00:30:27,014 --> 00:30:28,431 ♪ Half the time, they all yours ♪ 776 00:30:28,513 --> 00:30:30,597 ♪ Half the time, we on tour ♪ 57036

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