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Richard...
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do you think if I asked,
they would let me visit her?
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00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:06,431
RICHARD HENDRICKS: Jared,
she's gonna be okay.
4
00:00:06,847 --> 00:00:07,930
I promise.
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00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:11,306
(DRILL WHIRRING)
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(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
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GAVIN BELSON: That brilliant little idiot.
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He found a way
around the patent!
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00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:16,222
It's Hendrick's internet,
10
00:00:16,306 --> 00:00:17,306
but it's not Hendrick's internet!
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00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,889
I will no longer be able
to manufacture your boxes.
12
00:00:20,139 --> 00:00:22,347
You see, my company
will be manufacturing
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00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:25,847
a new device that will quickly
render yours obsolete.
14
00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:30,222
Did you speak to Laurie
about our Series B?
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00:00:30,306 --> 00:00:32,555
- HENDRICKS: Sort of.
- (LAURIE RETCHING)
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00:00:32,638 --> 00:00:34,638
MONICA HALL: Nothing is personal
with Laurie, all right?
17
00:00:34,722 --> 00:00:36,597
It's what makes her such a great VC.
18
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,181
A term sheet for your Series B.
19
00:00:39,264 --> 00:00:40,680
Congratulations, Richard.
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00:00:40,972 --> 00:00:42,055
Thank you.
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00:00:51,222 --> 00:00:53,555
Richard: Wow. That is one expensive bottle.
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00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:54,763
You guys deserve the best
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00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:56,222
bottle of champagne they have.
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00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,680
Yeah, all champagne
tastes the same to me, so.
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00:00:58,763 --> 00:01:00,181
I agree, I mean, what's the difference
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00:01:00,264 --> 00:01:02,555
between good champagne
and bad champagne?
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00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:04,139
About $500.
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00:01:04,222 --> 00:01:05,763
Guys, come on. Enjoy it.
29
00:01:05,847 --> 00:01:08,389
You're about to close
a $30 million series B.
30
00:01:08,472 --> 00:01:10,181
And you don't have to sell any ads
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00:01:10,264 --> 00:01:11,472
or harvest user data,
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00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:13,139
which for any other VC in town
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would've been a non-starter.
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Frankly, I'm surprised
that Laurie went for it.
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00:01:17,222 --> 00:01:18,680
Well, I'm not wild
about the idea
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of her having
two more board seats.
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00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:23,680
I mean, she did kill Fiona
right in front of us.
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00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:25,805
Listen, don't worry
about Laurie, okay?
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00:01:25,889 --> 00:01:27,264
I'm gonna be your
point person on this.
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00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:29,763
She's got her plate full.
She's raising money to recover
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00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:31,306
from the whole Eklow debacle.
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00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:32,347
Okay.
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00:01:32,431 --> 00:01:34,347
So... to you guys.
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00:01:34,431 --> 00:01:35,930
All right.
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00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:37,139
Cheers. Cheers.
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00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,222
Richard: Yup, thanks.
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00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:45,014
All right. I have a dinner meeting
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00:01:45,097 --> 00:01:46,847
and I kind of feel like a fifth wheel,
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so I'm gonna pick up the check,
leave you to celebrate.
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00:01:50,097 --> 00:01:51,139
Congrats again, guys.
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00:01:51,222 --> 00:01:52,264
Okay.
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00:01:52,347 --> 00:01:53,431
Jared: Bye.
53
00:01:57,805 --> 00:02:00,181
Well, the only person we don't spend
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00:02:00,264 --> 00:02:02,222
20 hours a day with just left.
55
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,389
So.
56
00:02:05,264 --> 00:02:06,805
What's new with you guys?
57
00:02:09,055 --> 00:02:12,597
Well, I'm thinking of buying
some new bookkeeping software.
58
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,181
All right. I think the only
actual way to celebrate
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00:02:15,264 --> 00:02:17,597
is to spend one waking minute apart, so.
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00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,722
I'm gonna go.
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00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,638
Are you going home?
Let's... let's share an Uber.
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00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:22,055
Oh, well, if you're going
that direction,
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00:02:22,139 --> 00:02:23,555
I'm... I'm driving,
so I could drop you.
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00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:24,889
Dinesh: Hey, Gilfoyle.
Wanna play Fortnite?
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00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:26,889
Oh, hold on, I didn't know
we were playing Fortnite.
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00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:28,389
Yeah, I'll come along.
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Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==
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♪ ♪
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00:02:43,972 --> 00:02:46,638
I would've taken that plate
to the sink for you.
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00:02:46,722 --> 00:02:49,014
Uh, it's okay.
I just finished, so.
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00:02:49,097 --> 00:02:51,181
How was the sandwich I made you?
Was it good?
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00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:52,722
Good condiment blend?
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00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:54,264
Yeah. It was perfect, thanks.
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00:02:54,347 --> 00:02:55,472
Richard.
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00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:57,181
This might be out of line, but...
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00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,347
would you mind telling Jared how
much you enjoyed the sandwich?
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00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,139
I'm finding him
a little intimidating.
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00:03:02,222 --> 00:03:05,222
Sure, yeah. Look, I know he
can be a little eccentric.
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00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:06,972
I tend to hold my breath
around him.
80
00:03:07,055 --> 00:03:08,680
It's exacerbating my asthma.
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00:03:08,763 --> 00:03:10,805
Ooh, okay...
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00:03:10,889 --> 00:03:12,805
Richard, do you have a moment?
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00:03:16,181 --> 00:03:20,972
You know what? Holden just made
me a really good sandwich.
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00:03:21,055 --> 00:03:23,472
Oh, well, that's nice.
85
00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:25,181
Yeah. Yep.
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00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:26,347
(clears throat)
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00:03:27,889 --> 00:03:30,972
Did he ask you
to mention that to me?
88
00:03:32,014 --> 00:03:33,972
What? No.
89
00:03:34,055 --> 00:03:36,472
Okay.
No, he's... he's just great.
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00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:40,139
Well, "In doing what we ought,
we deserve no praise
91
00:03:40,222 --> 00:03:41,847
because it is our duty."
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00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,763
St. Augustine.
93
00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:45,055
So, um...
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00:03:45,139 --> 00:03:46,972
I've been keeping
track of the compute credits
95
00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:48,222
that you gave to Laurie.
96
00:03:48,306 --> 00:03:50,055
And she sold them to Gigglybots
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00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:52,555
and then Gigglybots
sold them to SmashHub.
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00:03:52,638 --> 00:03:54,347
And they traded hands
a few more times,
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00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,638
the price increasing
each time until they were
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00:03:56,722 --> 00:03:59,181
bought by a venture fund
in Mountain View.
101
00:03:59,264 --> 00:04:01,722
Okay, uh, so if we wanted
to buy them back,
102
00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:03,139
how much would it cost us?
103
00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:05,638
It's $1.6 million.
104
00:04:05,722 --> 00:04:07,431
What?
The fuck?
105
00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:12,055
More like that?
Yeah.
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00:04:12,139 --> 00:04:13,680
Danny: So Dinesh, is it true?
107
00:04:13,763 --> 00:04:14,805
Is series B happening?
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00:04:14,889 --> 00:04:15,972
We all heard it's happening.
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00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:18,389
Oh, guys, please,
you know I can't talk to you
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00:04:18,472 --> 00:04:19,972
about upper level
management stuff.
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00:04:20,055 --> 00:04:22,139
It's totally happening.
Look at his face.
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00:04:22,222 --> 00:04:23,306
He has the worst poker face.
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00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,472
No. Don't...
don't look at my face.
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00:04:25,555 --> 00:04:26,472
This is great news.
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00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:28,597
We're all getting big, fat bonuses.
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00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,306
I was a little worried I made
a mistake ordering that Tesla.
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00:04:31,389 --> 00:04:33,597
Sorry, Tesla?
What Tesla?
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00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,638
Model S. Same as yours.
119
00:04:35,722 --> 00:04:39,055
I mean, not exactly the same.
I ordered the P100D.
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00:04:39,139 --> 00:04:40,014
Newer model.
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00:04:40,097 --> 00:04:41,306
It's got longer battery life...
122
00:04:41,389 --> 00:04:43,097
You know what?
This is a workplace.
123
00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:45,597
This is not a fucking slumber
party, gabbing, gabbing.
124
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,513
And series B is not a done deal.
125
00:04:47,597 --> 00:04:50,181
Despite what my face says, okay?
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00:04:50,264 --> 00:04:51,222
Don't trust this face.
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00:04:51,306 --> 00:04:53,264
No one should ever
trust this face.
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00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:56,097
Congrats on the Tesla, Danny.
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00:04:56,181 --> 00:04:57,597
So excited for you.
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00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,930
Series B, baby!
131
00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:02,264
Fuck Danny.
132
00:05:02,347 --> 00:05:03,847
I mean, I love my Tesla.
133
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,014
It has Insane Mode,
134
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:08,680
which means it goes
zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds,
135
00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:10,431
which is literally insane.
136
00:05:10,513 --> 00:05:14,097
But the Tesla that Danny
ordered has Ludicrous Mode,
137
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,638
which means it goes
zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds.
138
00:05:17,722 --> 00:05:22,805
So it's gonna take me an entire
0.4 seconds longer to get to 60.
139
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,722
I mean, how would you feel
if one of your neighbors
140
00:05:24,805 --> 00:05:26,597
got a tiki head bigger than yours?
141
00:05:27,472 --> 00:05:29,972
Oh, well, when we bought it,
142
00:05:30,055 --> 00:05:32,014
we made sure it was the
biggest one they made, so.
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00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:35,889
You're the biggest tiki head
guy in the neighborhood.
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00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:38,222
I used to be the Tesla
guy in the office.
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00:05:38,306 --> 00:05:41,222
I maxed out my credit cards
to be able to afford that thing.
146
00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:42,555
And now that we're getting series B,
147
00:05:42,638 --> 00:05:45,847
any one of these bourgeois
new money millennial fucks
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00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,513
can just go out and buy one.
149
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,222
I don't wanna sound selfish,
150
00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:54,014
but sometimes I wish only I made money.
You know?
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00:05:54,097 --> 00:05:55,139
What are we talking about, here?
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00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,597
You want us to launch a cryptocurrency?
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00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,847
I do.
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00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:00,930
The fact that people are willing
to pay many multiples more
155
00:06:01,014 --> 00:06:02,930
for our compute credits
than they're worth,
156
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,930
we have an opportunity here.
157
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,389
Worth is relative, Richard.
158
00:06:06,472 --> 00:06:07,597
What do you mean?
159
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,431
Why do people covet
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00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:13,055
the silly pieces of green
cotton paper in their wallets?
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00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,763
It's because we are all sheep.
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00:06:15,847 --> 00:06:18,763
And we've mutually agreed
to endow certain things
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00:06:18,847 --> 00:06:20,097
with value.
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00:06:20,181 --> 00:06:22,555
And right now, for some reason,
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the market values our
credits more than we did.
166
00:06:26,097 --> 00:06:27,930
Gilfoyle, we're not gonna suddenly pivot
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00:06:28,014 --> 00:06:29,763
and become a digital
currency company.
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00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:30,930
I'm not proposing a pivot.
169
00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:33,389
I'm proposing that
we sell digital currency
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00:06:33,472 --> 00:06:36,472
as a way to finance
our new Internet company.
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00:06:36,555 --> 00:06:40,014
You wanted an alternative
to Laurie Bream.
172
00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:41,889
Well, it's right here in front of you.
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00:06:41,972 --> 00:06:43,847
PiedPiperCoin.
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00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:45,972
Okay, look, I...
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00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,055
I'm not gonna bet
the entire future
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00:06:48,139 --> 00:06:51,181
of my new Internet and
everything I've worked for
177
00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:53,347
on becoming the next Bitcoin.
178
00:06:53,431 --> 00:06:55,347
You really expect me to do that?
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00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:59,638
There are very few things that I
will defend with true passion:
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00:06:59,722 --> 00:07:01,222
Medical marijuana,
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00:07:01,306 --> 00:07:05,847
the biblical Satan as a metaphor
for rebellion against tyranny,
182
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:08,972
and mother fucking
Goddamn cryptocurrency.
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00:07:09,055 --> 00:07:10,597
Mmm.
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00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,389
I have a PowerPoint that I've been
wanting to show you for some time.
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00:07:15,513 --> 00:07:16,472
Gavin: Walk me through this.
186
00:07:16,555 --> 00:07:18,472
We can't make our boxes in China
187
00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:19,638
because Yao has threatened
188
00:07:19,722 --> 00:07:21,347
every manufacturer in the country.
189
00:07:21,431 --> 00:07:22,389
That's right.
190
00:07:22,472 --> 00:07:23,680
We can't afford Bangladesh,
191
00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,431
because the workers have unionized.
192
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,347
Sadly, correct.
193
00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:29,014
And we can't use our place in Laos,
194
00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:31,805
because one person
gets her scalp ripped off
195
00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:34,680
and suddenly, everyone's
screaming regulations.
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00:07:34,763 --> 00:07:35,638
Yes.
197
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,097
You know, you hear a lot of chatter
198
00:07:37,181 --> 00:07:39,014
about the growth of the global economy,
199
00:07:39,097 --> 00:07:40,930
but no one wants to
talk about the downside.
200
00:07:41,014 --> 00:07:45,014
Gavin, there is one other manufacturing
option we haven't discussed yet,
201
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,472
which considering
the current circumstances,
202
00:07:47,555 --> 00:07:49,431
might be worth consideration.
203
00:07:49,513 --> 00:07:51,889
I'm open to anything.
204
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,055
America.
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00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:55,555
Fuck you.
206
00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:57,306
I feel the same way.
207
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,889
But we were recently contacted
208
00:07:58,972 --> 00:08:01,139
by the mayor of Goldbriar, North Carolina.
209
00:08:01,222 --> 00:08:03,555
They had a DVR manufacturing
plant that closed.
210
00:08:03,638 --> 00:08:05,347
The retooling would be minimal.
211
00:08:05,431 --> 00:08:06,722
Sco They've got a skilled labor pool
212
00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:09,389
just sitting idle and they sound desperate.
213
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:11,181
Really?
214
00:08:11,264 --> 00:08:12,222
How desperate?
215
00:08:12,306 --> 00:08:13,513
It was pitiful.
216
00:08:13,597 --> 00:08:14,805
Really?
217
00:08:15,805 --> 00:08:18,889
In 350 BCE,
218
00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:22,431
Aristotle defined
sound money as being
219
00:08:22,513 --> 00:08:23,930
durable, transferable,
220
00:08:24,014 --> 00:08:26,347
divisible, scarce,
recognizable...
221
00:08:26,431 --> 00:08:28,055
Gilfoyle?
And fungible.
222
00:08:28,139 --> 00:08:29,055
What?
223
00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:31,389
Can we skip ahead 2,400 years?
224
00:08:31,472 --> 00:08:34,055
I mean, I know
what cryptocurrency is.
225
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,805
Richard, a lot of work
went into this presentation.
226
00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:38,638
Okay.
Fine.
227
00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:43,222
But you're missing out
on a lot of wisdom, here.
228
00:08:45,472 --> 00:08:47,431
Why don't you tell me
what you know
229
00:08:47,513 --> 00:08:49,930
about Bitcoin
as a jumping-off point?
230
00:08:50,014 --> 00:08:51,431
Okay, sure.
231
00:08:51,513 --> 00:08:54,847
Uh, well, I'm pretty sure it was
founded by a Japanese guy...
232
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:56,472
Or guys, or girls,
233
00:08:56,555 --> 00:08:59,889
going by the name
Satoshi Nakamoto in 2008.
234
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,264
True identity still unknown.
235
00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:03,763
Okay, look, every day
I read an article
236
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,097
about how we're in
a Bitcoin bubble.
237
00:09:06,181 --> 00:09:08,431
And who is writing
those articles?
238
00:09:08,513 --> 00:09:10,222
I don't wanna say
the establishment.
239
00:09:10,306 --> 00:09:12,597
But is it possible that
Warren Buffett
240
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,181
called Bitcoin a pyramid scheme
241
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:19,014
because he has 92 billion
conventional dollars to protect?
242
00:09:19,097 --> 00:09:22,347
Let's say he's right.
Let's say Bitcoin dies.
243
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:25,472
So what?
MySpace, Friendster, they both died.
244
00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:28,222
But they paved the way
for other social media tripe
245
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,055
like Facebook and Twitter
246
00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:32,597
to completely overrun the planet.
247
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,014
Crypto is out there.
248
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,680
And it's not going away.
249
00:09:37,763 --> 00:09:39,972
It just feels sketchy.
250
00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:44,763
In the same way that a new
Internet is sketchy, Richard?
251
00:09:44,847 --> 00:09:46,847
Well...
What is crypto?
252
00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:49,972
If not decentralized,
anonymous, secure,
253
00:09:50,055 --> 00:09:53,181
and an existential threat
to the powers that be?
254
00:09:53,264 --> 00:09:55,472
I would think that you'd be
all-in on something like that.
255
00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:59,055
Yeah. But do you really think
we can create a currency
256
00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:00,555
worth $30 million?
257
00:10:00,638 --> 00:10:02,139
Because that's what
we'd be giving up.
258
00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:04,972
Maybe. Probably even more.
259
00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:06,597
But even if it's less,
260
00:10:07,513 --> 00:10:10,680
we would still gain
control, autonomy,
261
00:10:10,763 --> 00:10:11,930
board seats and shares,
262
00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:16,014
and you wouldn't have to rely
on a VC who once fired you
263
00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:17,763
from your own company.
264
00:10:20,055 --> 00:10:21,264
So, there is a mode
265
00:10:21,347 --> 00:10:23,722
above Ludicrous Mode.
Am I correct?
266
00:10:23,805 --> 00:10:25,763
Yes. It's called Plaid.
267
00:10:25,847 --> 00:10:28,431
And it comes standard
on the new Tesla Roadster.
268
00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:29,805
How do I get
into one of these babies?
269
00:10:29,889 --> 00:10:33,472
Simple. You put down
a $50,000 deposit today.
270
00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:35,014
Okay.
271
00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,597
And you'll be behind the wheel
272
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,139
as soon as they
become available.
273
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,472
And how quickly
will that be, Stephanie?
274
00:10:40,555 --> 00:10:42,722
Soon. We're thinking
a few years,
275
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,389
which goes by fast.
276
00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:46,347
My daughter was
a teenager in high school.
277
00:10:46,431 --> 00:10:48,472
Next thing I knew... I'm
gonna stop you right there.
278
00:10:48,555 --> 00:10:51,722
Your oily salesmanship is
starting to really irritate me.
279
00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:52,889
Okay?
280
00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:55,389
I need to maintain
my Tesla superiority,
281
00:10:55,472 --> 00:10:56,722
and I need to do it now.
282
00:10:56,805 --> 00:10:59,097
Okay, I'm looking at
a new set of wheels here.
283
00:10:59,181 --> 00:11:00,722
The 21-inch Arachnids.
284
00:11:00,805 --> 00:11:03,763
Very nice.
But they're not for sale.
285
00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:06,389
You can only get them through
our referral awards program.
286
00:11:06,472 --> 00:11:08,222
You refer three
other customers to us,
287
00:11:08,306 --> 00:11:12,055
they buy a vehicle and,
zoop-zoop, you get the wheels.
288
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,972
So, if I get more
people to buy Teslas,
289
00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:18,680
then I will have the wheels
and no one else can get them?
290
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:19,722
Not even Danny?
291
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,555
I'm sorry, who's Danny?
292
00:11:21,638 --> 00:11:23,555
He's the guy with the shitty wheels.
293
00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:26,889
Major Wilkins: And now, the CEO of Hooli,
294
00:11:26,972 --> 00:11:28,597
Mr. Gavin Belson.
295
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,680
(cheers and applause)
296
00:11:33,264 --> 00:11:34,972
Thank you, Mayor Wilkins.
297
00:11:35,055 --> 00:11:38,347
Thank you, Goldbriar, for this
warm, wonderful welcome.
298
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,222
You know, being in North Carolina
299
00:11:40,306 --> 00:11:43,097
always feels like a bit of
a homecoming for me.
300
00:11:43,181 --> 00:11:47,389
I own a vacation property
just off the coast in Bermuda.
301
00:11:47,472 --> 00:11:50,055
Technically, it is my
primary legal residence.
302
00:11:52,722 --> 00:11:54,431
Good people of Goldbriar,
303
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,763
for too long, foreign interests
304
00:11:56,847 --> 00:11:59,680
have used unfair trade
and labor practices
305
00:11:59,763 --> 00:12:03,014
to plunder American wealth
and steal American jobs.
306
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,431
But I don't blame them for that.
307
00:12:04,513 --> 00:12:09,472
No. I blame weak, spineless
American politicians.
308
00:12:09,555 --> 00:12:11,597
But if your mayor does his job,
309
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,889
your jobs will come back,
310
00:12:12,972 --> 00:12:15,597
and soon, you will
proudly be building
311
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,972
the Gavin Belson
Signature Box Three.
312
00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,097
(applause)
But if for some reason
313
00:12:21,181 --> 00:12:25,055
he can't make my
very reasonable proposal work,
314
00:12:25,139 --> 00:12:26,389
you know who to blame.
315
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,513
I'm excited to get started.
316
00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:31,680
What about y'all?
317
00:12:31,763 --> 00:12:33,181
(cheers and applause)
318
00:12:33,264 --> 00:12:37,306
(marching band plays)
319
00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:40,889
♪ ♪
320
00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:43,264
(dramatic sting)
321
00:12:47,389 --> 00:12:49,555
♪ ♪
322
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,930
(sighs)
323
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,722
Jared: Hi, Holden.
Oh.
324
00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:55,805
(dramatic sting)
325
00:12:56,805 --> 00:12:59,389
Jared. Hi.
326
00:12:59,472 --> 00:13:00,555
Hi.
327
00:13:01,555 --> 00:13:02,847
Can I ask you a question?
328
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,389
Of course.
329
00:13:05,347 --> 00:13:07,347
Did you ask Richard to tell me
330
00:13:07,431 --> 00:13:10,889
that he liked the sandwich
that you made for him?
331
00:13:11,972 --> 00:13:13,055
No.
332
00:13:17,638 --> 00:13:18,763
Is that the truth?
333
00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:20,805
Yes.
334
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,097
Okay.
335
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:28,930
Okay.
336
00:13:31,347 --> 00:13:32,763
Good job with that plate.
337
00:13:34,431 --> 00:13:35,472
Thanks.
338
00:13:44,264 --> 00:13:45,555
(inhales deeply)
339
00:13:45,638 --> 00:13:48,139
Dinesh: Now, I can see
the looks on your faces.
340
00:13:48,222 --> 00:13:49,722
I know what you're thinking.
341
00:13:49,805 --> 00:13:53,222
Why does Dinesh care
so much if I buy a Tesla?
342
00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:54,763
I'll tell you why.
343
00:13:54,847 --> 00:13:57,472
Because Teslas
are good for the world.
344
00:13:57,555 --> 00:14:00,055
Surprisingly pedestrian wheels,
but you get over that.
345
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,722
So, come on.
346
00:14:01,805 --> 00:14:03,722
Series B, right?
Cha-ching.
347
00:14:03,805 --> 00:14:06,014
I was gonna use that
to pay off my student loans.
348
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,014
That's boring.
349
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,597
And don't take this the wrong way,
350
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,763
but it seems like it's very important
351
00:14:10,847 --> 00:14:13,472
for you to be the Tesla guy in the office.
352
00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:14,889
Like, weirdly important.
353
00:14:14,972 --> 00:14:17,805
I'm not weird, you're weird.
You guys are being so weird.
354
00:14:17,889 --> 00:14:21,222
Come on. What's it gonna take
to get you into a Tesla today?
355
00:14:21,306 --> 00:14:24,555
Here. I've printed out hundreds of these.
356
00:14:24,638 --> 00:14:26,930
There you go. There you
go, pass these on.
357
00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:28,347
Dave? Dave?
358
00:14:29,638 --> 00:14:32,014
All right, what's this
interesting idea?
359
00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:33,638
Gilfoyle and I were talking.
360
00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:37,680
And this may seem a little
out there at first, but...
361
00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:41,722
Instead of funding
our launch with a series B,
362
00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:42,972
what about...
363
00:14:43,972 --> 00:14:44,972
an ICO?
364
00:14:46,847 --> 00:14:49,347
An initial coin offering?
It's basically a...
365
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,306
Are you a fucking moron?
366
00:14:53,014 --> 00:14:55,097
Maybe I don't need to be here for this.
367
00:14:55,181 --> 00:14:56,472
Sit the fuck down.
368
00:14:56,555 --> 00:14:57,680
Okay.
369
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,638
Richard, what are you doing?
370
00:15:00,722 --> 00:15:02,555
Just exploring our options.
371
00:15:02,638 --> 00:15:04,805
Why? You don't think
I have your back?
372
00:15:04,889 --> 00:15:06,680
Look, I get that
you're giving up
373
00:15:06,763 --> 00:15:07,889
board seats and shares,
374
00:15:07,972 --> 00:15:09,805
but look what you're getting in return.
375
00:15:09,889 --> 00:15:12,972
As if the $30 million you were
getting wasn't good enough,
376
00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:15,472
we provide you with marketing,
networking, staffing.
377
00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:17,431
We help you negotiate partnerships
378
00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:18,638
and navigate regulations.
379
00:15:18,722 --> 00:15:21,597
All these things that are
changing by the minute.
380
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,555
Gilfoyle, can you help
with any of that?
381
00:15:24,638 --> 00:15:27,389
I'd rather just listen
if it's all the same to you.
382
00:15:27,472 --> 00:15:29,638
Look, if you do an ICO,
383
00:15:29,722 --> 00:15:31,181
you're not only
saying fuck you to us,
384
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,638
you're saying
fuck you to all VCs.
385
00:15:32,722 --> 00:15:34,055
Jesus, Richard.
Why would you even
386
00:15:34,139 --> 00:15:36,513
think it would be okay
to talk to me about this?
387
00:15:36,597 --> 00:15:38,847
Like would you ask your wife
who you should cheat with?
388
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:40,389
No.
389
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,431
Well, maybe.
390
00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:42,555
I don't know, I...
391
00:15:42,638 --> 00:15:45,513
I guess I was just looking
for advice from a friend.
392
00:15:45,597 --> 00:15:47,597
Oh, are we friends, Richard?
393
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,139
Yes, of course.
Really?
394
00:15:49,222 --> 00:15:50,763
Have we spoken once in the past year
395
00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,972
about anything other than business?
396
00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:54,680
Yes.
397
00:15:54,763 --> 00:15:57,014
Wait. No.
398
00:15:57,097 --> 00:15:58,680
When's my birthday?
Come on.
399
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:00,597
Do I live in a house
or an apartment?
400
00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:03,680
Did you even know
that I was married?
401
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,847
You are?
I was, I...
402
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,597
had it annulled after three months.
403
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,722
Did he ask you
who he should cheat with?
404
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,347
Look, you came for advice, fine.
405
00:16:15,431 --> 00:16:16,805
Forget an ICO.
406
00:16:16,889 --> 00:16:18,097
Okay? I'm sure Gilfoyle
407
00:16:18,181 --> 00:16:20,513
told you that he can handle
all the technical stuff.
408
00:16:20,597 --> 00:16:22,555
But this is not just a math problem.
409
00:16:22,638 --> 00:16:26,847
They're my direct competition.
I've done my homework on this.
410
00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,763
So before you walk away from stability
411
00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:31,722
and gamble your entire company on crypto,
412
00:16:31,805 --> 00:16:33,472
there's another "friend" of yours
413
00:16:33,555 --> 00:16:34,638
I think you should talk to.
414
00:16:36,181 --> 00:16:39,222
I was such a fucking pussy
when Bitcoin broke, Richard.
415
00:16:39,306 --> 00:16:40,722
If I had the balls,
416
00:16:40,805 --> 00:16:42,847
I'd have put every penny
I had into that shit
417
00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:43,847
five years ago,
418
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,264
watched it go up, up, up, up, up
419
00:16:45,347 --> 00:16:47,555
and then pulled out right before
it all came crashing down again.
420
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,472
I mean, Jesus,
why didn't I do that?
421
00:16:49,555 --> 00:16:51,930
Fuck me!
But then, it occurred to me...
422
00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:54,889
I own 36 fucking
companies, Richard.
423
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,181
If I make them all ICO,
424
00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:59,805
that's 36 bites at the apple.
425
00:16:59,889 --> 00:17:00,930
So I did it.
426
00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:03,431
You... you did 36 ICOs?
Yup.
427
00:17:03,513 --> 00:17:05,389
Did they work?
You know, one of the things
428
00:17:05,472 --> 00:17:07,638
being in the three comma club
has taught me, Richard,
429
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:08,930
is it's not always about money.
430
00:17:09,014 --> 00:17:10,680
Sometimes, it's about wisdom.
431
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:14,347
And did I lose a B?
Close to it. Fuck!
432
00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:17,097
But I bet I gained
two B in wisdom.
433
00:17:17,181 --> 00:17:18,847
So you lost it all?
434
00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:23,139
Ha, ha, Richard, if I didn't
love this crazy guy so much,
435
00:17:23,222 --> 00:17:24,431
I'd knock his fucking teeth out.
436
00:17:24,513 --> 00:17:26,306
Nah, nah, I didn't lose it all.
437
00:17:26,389 --> 00:17:28,847
I mean, one of them
got shut down by the SEC.
438
00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:30,638
On a few, we got scammed.
439
00:17:30,722 --> 00:17:32,014
But some of them worked.
440
00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:34,472
One of them worked.
441
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,431
One? One out of 36?
442
00:17:37,513 --> 00:17:38,472
Yeah. Listen,
443
00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:40,930
all the coin I had from
the ICO that worked
444
00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:42,472
was on a USB thumb drive.
445
00:17:42,555 --> 00:17:43,972
And my dumb fucking housekeeper
446
00:17:44,055 --> 00:17:45,472
threw out my jeans,
'cause they were ripped.
447
00:17:45,555 --> 00:17:46,972
Even though I paid more
for the ripped ones.
448
00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:48,763
And the thumb drive
was in the pocket, so.
449
00:17:48,847 --> 00:17:51,638
$300 million in crypto
is buried out here, somewhere.
450
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,139
But my boys will find it.
451
00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:55,014
If they wanna get paid, right?
452
00:17:56,055 --> 00:17:57,306
And when they do,
453
00:17:57,389 --> 00:17:59,139
that coin could cover all the losers.
454
00:17:59,222 --> 00:18:01,555
I mean, it's up 3,000%
in the last two weeks.
455
00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:03,805
If it keeps going like this over
the next three, four months,
456
00:18:03,889 --> 00:18:05,638
we could be talking
the four comma club!
457
00:18:05,722 --> 00:18:07,347
That's a T, not a B, Richard.
(man whistling)
458
00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:09,847
Mr. Hanneman!
Shit, you found it?
459
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:13,847
(laughs)
Jose! Yes! No!
460
00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,431
I said a thumb drive.
461
00:18:15,513 --> 00:18:17,139
In the...
that's an actual thumb.
462
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:19,805
That's a human...
Just fucking put that back!
463
00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:23,347
Again, Richard...
464
00:18:23,431 --> 00:18:24,680
the math is sound.
465
00:18:24,763 --> 00:18:28,222
♪ ♪
466
00:18:30,513 --> 00:18:33,055
Well, Mayor, I sure have
enjoyed our time together.
467
00:18:33,139 --> 00:18:34,347
Let me know when you get this done.
468
00:18:34,431 --> 00:18:37,347
Uh, Mr. Belson, I'm sorry,
but this list of demands
469
00:18:37,431 --> 00:18:40,181
is not remotely workable
for a community of our size.
470
00:18:40,264 --> 00:18:42,555
A mayor's job is never easy.
471
00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:43,889
But you'll find a way,
472
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,431
if you care about your constituents.
473
00:18:45,513 --> 00:18:47,431
Mr. Belson, I grew up in this town.
474
00:18:47,513 --> 00:18:48,847
I've lived here my entire life.
475
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,889
I'd do anything to...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
476
00:18:50,972 --> 00:18:52,847
Your entire life?
Mm-hmm.
477
00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:55,680
How old are you?
Forty-seven.
478
00:18:55,763 --> 00:18:57,222
That's a little weird, isn't it?
479
00:18:57,306 --> 00:19:00,847
The point is, I'd do anything
to help the people of this area.
480
00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:05,055
But giving you public money on this
scale would decimate our budget.
481
00:19:05,139 --> 00:19:07,513
I could have the local
high school renamed after you.
482
00:19:07,597 --> 00:19:09,889
Rosa Parks has never even
been to Goldbriar.
483
00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:11,431
I don't want a fucking high school.
484
00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:14,638
I wanna manufacture boxes
at an 80% profit margin.
485
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:15,805
I don't understand.
486
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:17,513
All my asshole friends
keep getting
487
00:19:17,597 --> 00:19:19,847
NFL stadiums
and corporate headquarters,
488
00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:21,222
all fully paid for.
489
00:19:21,306 --> 00:19:24,347
And you can't make
one fucking factory happen?
490
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:27,555
I mean, the only things I have left
to cut are essential services.
491
00:19:27,638 --> 00:19:29,389
There you go. Do that.
492
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,055
You could have
a volunteer fire department.
493
00:19:31,139 --> 00:19:33,431
Because I can't afford
a penny more than this.
494
00:19:37,014 --> 00:19:38,472
Man:
Everybody ready?
495
00:19:38,555 --> 00:19:39,847
(blows pitch pipe)
496
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,097
Two, three!
497
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,472
♪ Oh Carolina prowl off ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do ♪
498
00:19:43,555 --> 00:19:45,680
♪ Jump an prance, oh Carolina ♪
499
00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:48,264
♪ Prowl off jump an prance ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do ♪
500
00:19:48,347 --> 00:19:51,014
♪ Oh Carolina gal prowl off ♪
501
00:19:51,097 --> 00:19:53,306
♪ Gal yuh fi jump an prance ♪
502
00:19:53,389 --> 00:19:54,638
♪ Prowl off ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do ♪
503
00:19:54,722 --> 00:19:56,181
♪ Jump and prance ♪
504
00:19:56,264 --> 00:20:00,055
(jet engines revving)
♪ Carolina come bubble 'pon me ♪
505
00:20:00,139 --> 00:20:03,680
♪ Oh, watch how she groove ♪
506
00:20:06,222 --> 00:20:08,055
Dinesh: So, pretty sweet, right?
507
00:20:08,139 --> 00:20:09,389
Woman: Yeah, it's nice.
508
00:20:09,472 --> 00:20:11,722
Sorry we couldn't find
a safe spot to try Insane Mode.
509
00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:13,597
It feels like your
kidneys are gonna get, like,
510
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,097
ripped right through
the back of your body.
511
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,431
It's like... Yeah, I don't
think I'd wanna do that.
512
00:20:17,513 --> 00:20:18,847
Well you don't need to do it.
513
00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:21,722
But you wanna be able to
tell people that you can do it.
514
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:24,181
Right? It's like having a gun.
515
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,097
So, Charlie and Nadia
have already said yes.
516
00:20:27,181 --> 00:20:29,722
You'll finally have something
to talk to them about.
517
00:20:29,805 --> 00:20:31,513
Oh, let me think about it.
518
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,972
Fine. Okay, just pull into
the designated EV...2.8 seconds.
519
00:20:35,055 --> 00:20:36,472
Oh, fuck.
520
00:20:36,555 --> 00:20:37,972
Danny already got his car.
521
00:20:38,055 --> 00:20:40,513
I'll pay your down payment and first
three months. Do we have a deal?
522
00:20:40,597 --> 00:20:41,889
Wow, really?
523
00:20:43,264 --> 00:20:44,389
Make it six months.
524
00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:46,555
Fine! Okay, just go.
525
00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:48,472
Hide before Danny
sees us in this shitty car.
526
00:20:48,555 --> 00:20:49,972
Go, go, go. Go.
Wow, uh...
527
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:52,139
♪ ♪
528
00:20:52,222 --> 00:20:53,930
(phone vibrating)
529
00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:55,097
Hello?
530
00:20:55,181 --> 00:20:56,638
Hey, guess what?
531
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,889
My boss just bought me a car!
532
00:21:00,055 --> 00:21:02,555
What? No! Ew. Ugh!
533
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,472
Richard? Ron LaFlamme's
office just called.
534
00:21:07,555 --> 00:21:10,306
And the series B paperwork
is ready for you to sign.
535
00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:13,264
Okay.
536
00:21:13,347 --> 00:21:16,638
Uh, well, then I guess I'll
just go over there and sign it.
537
00:21:16,722 --> 00:21:19,347
Richard, I know you were
pinning your hopes on the ICO,
538
00:21:19,431 --> 00:21:22,014
but I... I think series B
is the right call.
539
00:21:22,097 --> 00:21:24,097
Yeah, no, I... I hope so.
540
00:21:24,181 --> 00:21:26,055
We're gonna get
the money we need to launch,
541
00:21:26,139 --> 00:21:28,597
and everyone out there
is gonna get a great bonus.
542
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,513
And then, you're gonna have
an army of happy
543
00:21:31,597 --> 00:21:33,805
and highly motivated workers...
544
00:21:34,930 --> 00:21:35,889
Richard:
Jared?
545
00:21:35,972 --> 00:21:37,306
Everything okay with Holden?
546
00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:39,306
You mean, like, mentally?
547
00:21:39,389 --> 00:21:41,014
I was wondering that, too.
548
00:21:41,097 --> 00:21:43,306
No. No, no.
Just, like...
549
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:44,722
like, with you and him.
550
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:47,722
Just seems like you're being
really hard on him.
551
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,014
Do you like him?
552
00:21:49,097 --> 00:21:50,847
Yeah. I mean, sure.
553
00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:53,930
Okay. It's okay
if you like him.
554
00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:55,722
That's all that matters, right?
555
00:21:55,805 --> 00:21:56,722
Yeah.
556
00:21:56,805 --> 00:21:59,055
Okay. Well,
I'll see you when, uh...
557
00:21:59,139 --> 00:22:01,680
I'll see you when you
get back from LaFlamme's.
558
00:22:01,763 --> 00:22:05,264
♪ ♪
559
00:22:05,347 --> 00:22:06,972
(dramatic sting)
560
00:22:11,805 --> 00:22:14,472
Laurie: Every institutional
investor to whom I reached out
561
00:22:14,555 --> 00:22:16,306
agreed to participate
in our second fund.
562
00:22:16,389 --> 00:22:20,389
The capital issues we faced
due to Eklow's failure
563
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:21,513
have been remedied.
564
00:22:21,597 --> 00:22:23,638
Laurie, you are a badass.
565
00:22:25,805 --> 00:22:27,722
Ah, yes. A compliment.
566
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:31,389
Well, I think the numbers
in our new prospectus
567
00:22:31,513 --> 00:22:33,014
speak for themselves.
568
00:22:35,513 --> 00:22:38,513
Sorry, you're projecting
that 70% of Pied Piper's
569
00:22:38,597 --> 00:22:41,722
operating income is gonna
come from ad sales, but...
570
00:22:41,805 --> 00:22:43,222
Pied Piper's not gonna sell ads.
571
00:22:43,306 --> 00:22:46,347
Yes. I understand that
is their current position.
572
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,889
No, Laurie, when we
offered them their series B,
573
00:22:48,972 --> 00:22:51,389
I promised Richard that
we would never make them
574
00:22:51,472 --> 00:22:52,722
harvest data or sell ads.
575
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:55,805
However, that language is
not part of their term sheet.
576
00:22:55,889 --> 00:22:59,889
I am not saying that we will
force their hand on this issue.
577
00:22:59,972 --> 00:23:04,680
But neither am I saying
definitively that we will not.
578
00:23:04,763 --> 00:23:08,722
Okay, but you and I,
we are partners, right?
579
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:09,889
Of course.
580
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,763
Any decision we make, we will
certainly make together.
581
00:23:12,847 --> 00:23:15,431
Good. As long as that's clear.
582
00:23:15,513 --> 00:23:17,847
And again, great job
closing our funding.
583
00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,763
Ah, yes. Huzzah. Onward.
584
00:23:25,347 --> 00:23:27,597
♪ ♪
585
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:28,638
Laurie, did you have
586
00:23:28,722 --> 00:23:30,638
the big, hairy question
put back on my wall?
587
00:23:30,722 --> 00:23:32,055
Yes. I like it there.
588
00:23:32,139 --> 00:23:33,222
But I don't.
589
00:23:34,264 --> 00:23:35,264
And yet...
590
00:23:40,222 --> 00:23:42,513
All right.
One more, right there.
591
00:23:42,597 --> 00:23:45,389
And done-zo.
592
00:23:45,472 --> 00:23:47,222
Series ba-bam.
593
00:23:47,306 --> 00:23:48,805
Richard, don't sign it.
594
00:23:48,889 --> 00:23:49,972
Look, I can't protect you.
595
00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:51,972
At some point, Laurie's
gonna fuck you over
596
00:23:52,055 --> 00:23:53,347
and make you sell ads.
What?
597
00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:55,055
And I don't think there's
anything I can do about it.
598
00:23:55,139 --> 00:23:58,181
Don't sign the deal.
I just did. It's done.
599
00:23:58,264 --> 00:23:59,472
Jesus Christ.
600
00:23:59,555 --> 00:24:00,847
Laurie's gonna sell ads.
601
00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:02,763
Isn't that what I told you?
602
00:24:02,847 --> 00:24:04,763
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
603
00:24:04,847 --> 00:24:06,264
(bang) God!
604
00:24:06,347 --> 00:24:08,930
You know I can just tear these up, right?
605
00:24:12,472 --> 00:24:14,139
No, I know. Good.
606
00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:17,181
Gavin: I like it.
607
00:24:17,264 --> 00:24:19,181
But can we adjust
the proportions?
608
00:24:19,264 --> 00:24:20,847
Make the logo bigger?
609
00:24:20,930 --> 00:24:23,014
And... and make the flag bigger?
610
00:24:23,097 --> 00:24:25,139
And... and make
the box bigger, too.
611
00:24:25,222 --> 00:24:27,555
It all just needs to be bigger.
612
00:24:27,638 --> 00:24:29,014
Okay.
613
00:24:29,097 --> 00:24:30,680
Bigger.
Yeah.
614
00:24:30,763 --> 00:24:33,014
Sir.
Ah, Hoover.
615
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:34,680
How's the factory coming?
616
00:24:34,763 --> 00:24:35,972
We almost online?
617
00:24:36,055 --> 00:24:38,264
Not exactly, sir.
618
00:24:38,347 --> 00:24:39,347
It's gone.
619
00:24:39,431 --> 00:24:40,763
What do you mean?
620
00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:42,805
Did that dipshit mayor
renege on our deal?
621
00:24:42,889 --> 00:24:44,472
No, he made every effort,
622
00:24:44,555 --> 00:24:46,472
including having
the factory repainted.
623
00:24:46,555 --> 00:24:48,097
Okay. So what's the problem?
624
00:24:48,181 --> 00:24:51,722
Well, apparently, the painters left
some oily rags in a garbage can.
625
00:24:51,805 --> 00:24:55,513
Mm-hmm. But because of cuts
to the sanitation service,
626
00:24:55,597 --> 00:24:56,972
the trash was not collected
627
00:24:57,055 --> 00:24:58,763
and the rags smoldered
and caught fire.
628
00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:01,139
And because of cuts
to the fire department,
629
00:25:01,222 --> 00:25:02,222
the blaze spread.
630
00:25:02,306 --> 00:25:04,264
A number of concerned citizens
631
00:25:04,347 --> 00:25:05,722
volunteered to help
fight the fire,
632
00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:08,638
but because the water
was cut off, they could not.
633
00:25:08,722 --> 00:25:09,972
Okay, so what happened?
634
00:25:10,055 --> 00:25:12,805
Well, the vast majority of our
expensive, rare earth materials
635
00:25:12,889 --> 00:25:13,805
survived the fire.
636
00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:15,222
Well, that's something.
637
00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:16,889
Until the flames abated,
638
00:25:16,972 --> 00:25:19,139
when because
of mass layoffs of police,
639
00:25:19,222 --> 00:25:21,389
the locals that were
there to fight the fire
640
00:25:21,472 --> 00:25:24,597
decided instead to loot
the burned-out factory.
641
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,472
The National Guard
attempted to reach the factory
642
00:25:27,555 --> 00:25:28,638
to help stop this, but...
643
00:25:28,722 --> 00:25:30,930
The roads.
The roads, sir, yes.
644
00:25:31,014 --> 00:25:32,264
Okay.
645
00:25:32,347 --> 00:25:34,264
So, we lost it all?
646
00:25:34,347 --> 00:25:35,763
Everything?
Yes.
647
00:25:37,222 --> 00:25:38,847
Also, the IRS called.
648
00:25:38,930 --> 00:25:41,014
Somehow, they found out
about Bermuda.
649
00:25:42,555 --> 00:25:46,431
♪ ♪
650
00:25:46,513 --> 00:25:48,597
Look, when you take it
all into account,
651
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,222
turning down our series B
652
00:25:50,306 --> 00:25:51,889
and doing an ICO
to fund your launch,
653
00:25:51,972 --> 00:25:54,222
may actually give you
the best odds.
654
00:25:54,306 --> 00:25:56,097
You said ICOs are suicide.
655
00:25:56,181 --> 00:25:57,306
Well, I'm a VC
656
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,597
and some of that might have
been self-preservational.
657
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:00,972
Okay.
658
00:26:01,055 --> 00:26:03,347
Well, even if you were
exaggerating, you're still right.
659
00:26:03,431 --> 00:26:06,972
I mean, Russ Hanneman had
36 chances to make an ICO work
660
00:26:07,055 --> 00:26:08,264
and he basically failed.
661
00:26:08,347 --> 00:26:09,347
I only have one.
662
00:26:09,431 --> 00:26:11,847
Look, Gilfoyle can handle
all the technical stuff.
663
00:26:11,930 --> 00:26:13,222
You just need to hire someone
664
00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:14,389
who can handle
the business side.
665
00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:16,222
Like who?
I don't know.
666
00:26:16,306 --> 00:26:18,972
I'm sorry, but I gotta
Uber back to the office
667
00:26:19,055 --> 00:26:20,389
before Laurie realizes I'm gone.
668
00:26:20,472 --> 00:26:22,055
No, no, wait.
Who do I hire?
669
00:26:22,139 --> 00:26:24,264
Someone who understands
securities, right?
670
00:26:24,347 --> 00:26:25,347
Not necessarily.
671
00:26:25,431 --> 00:26:27,097
I mean, your coin doesn't
have to be a security.
672
00:26:27,181 --> 00:26:29,097
You could do a utility
token instead,
673
00:26:29,181 --> 00:26:30,930
since you provide
an actual unit of compute.
674
00:26:31,014 --> 00:26:33,264
Although, you'd have to
convince the SEC.
675
00:26:34,389 --> 00:26:35,972
Damn it. Surge pricing.
676
00:26:36,055 --> 00:26:37,889
Monica. You might not
even need to bother
677
00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:40,097
with a moving average pricing
strategy when you launch.
678
00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:41,805
But you will need to
keep a close eye on
679
00:26:41,889 --> 00:26:43,389
statements from
the federal government,
680
00:26:43,472 --> 00:26:44,431
South Korea, and China.
681
00:26:44,513 --> 00:26:46,014
So, whoever you do hire
682
00:26:46,097 --> 00:26:47,680
should definitely know
how to do all that.
683
00:26:47,763 --> 00:26:48,680
Okay, six minutes.
684
00:26:48,763 --> 00:26:50,889
Monica.
What?
685
00:26:50,972 --> 00:26:52,264
It's you.
686
00:26:52,347 --> 00:26:53,513
You're the right person.
687
00:26:53,597 --> 00:26:55,431
No.
688
00:26:55,513 --> 00:26:56,847
No. No, no, no, no, no.
689
00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:58,431
Come on.
Give me one good reason.
690
00:26:59,555 --> 00:27:01,972
I... love my job.
691
00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,055
You hate working for Laurie.
692
00:27:03,139 --> 00:27:06,347
With Laurie, okay?
We are both equal partners.
693
00:27:06,431 --> 00:27:07,597
Okay.
694
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,805
Look, Monica.
I will do the ICO.
695
00:27:10,889 --> 00:27:12,805
But only if you do it with me.
696
00:27:16,139 --> 00:27:17,139
Come on.
697
00:27:18,306 --> 00:27:19,389
Wait, what's happening?
698
00:27:20,513 --> 00:27:21,805
Canceling my Uber.
699
00:27:23,638 --> 00:27:25,680
So, you're in?
Fuck it.
700
00:27:25,763 --> 00:27:26,805
I'm in.
(laughs)
701
00:27:26,889 --> 00:27:27,889
Fuck series B.
702
00:27:27,972 --> 00:27:29,722
PiedPiperCoin is
totally gonna work.
703
00:27:29,805 --> 00:27:32,181
Yes. It is.
It totally is.
704
00:27:37,638 --> 00:27:38,889
Dinesh: So, just to confirm,
705
00:27:38,972 --> 00:27:40,847
in order for this coin
to be worth
706
00:27:40,930 --> 00:27:42,638
what series B
was worth to all of us,
707
00:27:42,722 --> 00:27:44,389
it has to sell for how much?
708
00:27:44,472 --> 00:27:46,347
$68.
709
00:27:46,431 --> 00:27:47,555
Dinesh: I see.
710
00:27:47,638 --> 00:27:51,222
And seven cents is less than that.
711
00:27:51,306 --> 00:27:52,389
Yup.
712
00:27:52,472 --> 00:27:54,347
Whose idea was this again?
713
00:27:54,431 --> 00:27:57,597
I believe the initial idea was Gilfoyle's.
714
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,306
To be fair, it was Monica
715
00:27:59,389 --> 00:28:01,889
who really pushed it
over the goal line.
716
00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:04,722
Well, I'm gonna head
down to the Tesla dealer
717
00:28:04,805 --> 00:28:06,805
and beg them to take my car back.
718
00:28:07,889 --> 00:28:09,930
Well, that's something.
719
00:28:10,014 --> 00:28:11,680
And my two referrals fell through.
720
00:28:11,763 --> 00:28:13,097
And I had to return mine.
721
00:28:13,181 --> 00:28:15,805
So now the only Tesla
in the office is Priyanka's
722
00:28:15,889 --> 00:28:17,389
and I'm paying for that.
723
00:28:17,472 --> 00:28:19,014
So, that's cool.
724
00:28:19,097 --> 00:28:21,763
Richard, adversity is a great teacher.
725
00:28:21,847 --> 00:28:23,680
Just like cigarette burns.
726
00:28:26,472 --> 00:28:28,680
(phone ringing, vibrating)
727
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,555
Laurie, hi.
728
00:28:33,638 --> 00:28:34,555
Laurie: Monica.
729
00:28:34,638 --> 00:28:37,680
Congratulations on the ICO.
(scoffs)
730
00:28:37,763 --> 00:28:41,930
Yeah, yeah. Not quite
the numbers we were hoping for.
731
00:28:42,014 --> 00:28:43,513
I'm sure you're happy about that.
732
00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:45,097
On the contrary.
733
00:28:45,181 --> 00:28:46,722
Monica, you have certain values.
734
00:28:46,805 --> 00:28:49,222
And I see no reason you should not
work with companies that share them.
735
00:28:49,306 --> 00:28:53,805
Similarly, I should work with
companies that share my values.
736
00:28:53,889 --> 00:28:55,139
So, no hard feelings?
737
00:28:55,222 --> 00:28:57,972
No feelings at all, Monica.
738
00:28:58,055 --> 00:28:59,181
We are friends
739
00:28:59,264 --> 00:29:01,805
and we should not let business
get in the way of that.
740
00:29:01,889 --> 00:29:05,014
Speaking of, I am
stepping into a meeting.
741
00:29:05,097 --> 00:29:08,097
Right, well, I'm surprised
you're taking this so well,
742
00:29:08,181 --> 00:29:09,472
I really appreciate it, Laurie.
743
00:29:09,555 --> 00:29:10,763
Let us talk soon.
744
00:29:13,472 --> 00:29:16,722
(speaking Chinese)
745
00:29:18,306 --> 00:29:20,139
(speaks Chinese)
746
00:29:20,222 --> 00:29:21,513
Have you received my proposal?
747
00:29:21,597 --> 00:29:23,555
(speaks Chinese) Very promising.
748
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:29,181
("Metalstorm" by Cut Chemist)
749
00:29:29,264 --> 00:29:31,847
♪ In the land of the lost,
we lay down law ♪
750
00:29:31,930 --> 00:29:34,264
♪ Chopping off your head
to take your face on tour ♪
751
00:29:34,347 --> 00:29:36,847
♪ Lacerate your lips,
then we shave off more ♪
752
00:29:36,930 --> 00:29:39,014
♪ Electrocute your body
through the encore ♪
753
00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:41,472
♪ When the cops come
and try to raid the jams ♪
754
00:29:41,555 --> 00:29:43,847
♪ I change my physical form
to that of a ram ♪
755
00:29:43,930 --> 00:29:45,930
♪ Alakazam, I'm half of a man ♪
756
00:29:46,014 --> 00:29:48,513
♪ The other part of me
operates robotically ♪
757
00:29:48,597 --> 00:29:50,805
♪ Psychology is
the dominant factor ♪
758
00:29:50,889 --> 00:29:53,513
♪ Believe in the holograms
and step into the backdoor ♪
759
00:29:53,597 --> 00:29:55,472
♪ Out for AM, more mayhem ♪
760
00:29:55,555 --> 00:29:58,181
♪ Five fatal steps to death
unless we trace them ♪
761
00:29:58,264 --> 00:30:00,097
♪ Five: Hesitate to get live ♪
762
00:30:00,181 --> 00:30:02,722
♪ Your career's postmortem,
now you can't survive ♪
763
00:30:02,805 --> 00:30:04,680
♪ Four: Perpetuate the folklore ♪
764
00:30:04,763 --> 00:30:07,347
♪ Live a lie, you can't
identify yourself no more ♪
765
00:30:07,431 --> 00:30:09,347
♪ Three: Call yourself an MC ♪
766
00:30:09,431 --> 00:30:11,889
♪ Practice minimally
and start fucking with me ♪
767
00:30:11,972 --> 00:30:14,555
♪ Or the sorcery
to the ultimate degree ♪
768
00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:16,680
♪ W-A-R W-M-D ♪
769
00:30:16,763 --> 00:30:18,930
♪ C-W-O fall in love
with the dough ♪
770
00:30:19,014 --> 00:30:20,181
♪ Till your spiritual essence ♪
771
00:30:20,264 --> 00:30:21,638
♪ Is something that
you don't know about ♪
772
00:30:21,722 --> 00:30:23,347
♪ Half the time,
they don't rhyme ♪
773
00:30:23,431 --> 00:30:25,055
♪ Half the time,
they all lying ♪
774
00:30:25,139 --> 00:30:26,930
♪ Half the time, they all mine ♪
775
00:30:27,014 --> 00:30:28,431
♪ Half the time,
they all yours ♪
776
00:30:28,513 --> 00:30:30,597
♪ Half the time, we on tour ♪
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