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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,313 --> 00:00:03,941 Jian-Yang, are... Are you copying 2 00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:06,048 all those companies for the Chinese markets? 3 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,507 - Oh, no. - ♪ [MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ 4 00:00:09,757 --> 00:00:11,339 RICHARD HENDRICKS: Are you suggesting that 5 00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:14,047 someone in here is leaking info to Gavin Belson? 6 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,881 Tell me about these... fridges. 7 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,423 [WHISPERING] It's a company secret. 8 00:00:17,424 --> 00:00:19,798 Do you want to save a fortune, or not? 9 00:00:19,799 --> 00:00:20,799 Well, yes. 10 00:00:20,966 --> 00:00:22,923 In exchange, I need you to do something for me, 11 00:00:22,924 --> 00:00:25,132 with regard to the people who hacked your refrigerators. 12 00:00:25,382 --> 00:00:27,048 I'm going to destroy their lives. 13 00:00:27,632 --> 00:00:30,965 Jared, do you think it's... time we hire a COO? 14 00:00:30,966 --> 00:00:32,840 You're 20-30 pounds underweight. 15 00:00:32,841 --> 00:00:34,089 Don't worry about him. 16 00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:36,132 We're gonna find you a much better COO. 17 00:00:36,757 --> 00:00:37,924 You want the job? 18 00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:41,107 - [GASPS, SOBS] - All right... Ugh. All right. 19 00:00:48,957 --> 00:00:51,456 Okay, everybody, um, thanks for coming. 20 00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:52,923 Uh, sorry about the venue. 21 00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:55,212 We had a minor security issue. 22 00:00:55,213 --> 00:00:56,673 I didn't feel comfortable 23 00:00:56,674 --> 00:00:58,339 hosting you guys at... at our offices. 24 00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:00,049 But, hey, at least out here, 25 00:01:00,152 --> 00:01:01,526 we don't run the risk 26 00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,589 of running into anyone from the tech industry. 27 00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:05,965 - [BALLS CLACK] - Yeah, they're all so old. 28 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,047 - But they look so happy. - Yeah. 29 00:01:08,314 --> 00:01:09,396 RICHARD: It's weird. 30 00:01:09,397 --> 00:01:10,967 I don't understand it either. 31 00:01:11,355 --> 00:01:13,084 Anyway, I wanted you guys to meet, 32 00:01:13,188 --> 00:01:16,145 because despite being a very diverse 33 00:01:16,146 --> 00:01:18,994 and talented group of young web developers... 34 00:01:19,136 --> 00:01:21,854 Goodscape, huh? Social coding platform. 35 00:01:21,855 --> 00:01:23,895 Tholio, analytics firm. 36 00:01:23,896 --> 00:01:25,563 Plucky, music streaming. 37 00:01:25,564 --> 00:01:27,062 FirstSight, dating site. 38 00:01:27,063 --> 00:01:28,563 Gay dating site. 39 00:01:28,564 --> 00:01:31,229 Okay, technically, you're a dating site, 40 00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:33,229 but specifically, a gay one. 41 00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:35,354 Which is a subset, so I'm not wrong. 42 00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:37,646 Anyway, uh, despite all our differences, 43 00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:39,766 we all have one thing in common, right? 44 00:01:40,105 --> 00:01:42,020 A signed agreement with me 45 00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:44,563 to build and launch your websites, 46 00:01:44,564 --> 00:01:47,927 not on the tired, bloated, old web, 47 00:01:47,967 --> 00:01:50,979 but on the new Internet of the future. 48 00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:52,354 The Pipernet. 49 00:01:52,355 --> 00:01:55,149 Which is why, from this day forward, 50 00:01:55,313 --> 00:01:57,312 I'm going to be naming the eight of you... 51 00:01:57,313 --> 00:01:58,896 the OctoPipers. 52 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,396 Until something better, TBD. 53 00:02:03,397 --> 00:02:04,688 So when can we tell people? 54 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,104 Soon! Actually, very soon. 55 00:02:06,105 --> 00:02:09,470 Uh, next Tuesday, Gavin Belson is, uh... 56 00:02:09,689 --> 00:02:11,187 launching his Box Three. 57 00:02:11,188 --> 00:02:13,187 So, um, the day before, 58 00:02:13,469 --> 00:02:16,562 we are going to announce our partnerships with you all, 59 00:02:16,564 --> 00:02:18,062 and beat him to the punch. 60 00:02:18,063 --> 00:02:19,979 Shit. He's gonna be super pissed. 61 00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:21,604 MAN: He's really gonna come after us. 62 00:02:21,605 --> 00:02:23,743 Yeah, he is, but fuck him. 63 00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,237 Not butt fuck him. 64 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,354 - Just... - You don't have to explain 65 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:29,396 that kinda stuff. I-I know what you mean. 66 00:02:29,397 --> 00:02:31,271 Yeah, I know. Look... look. 67 00:02:31,272 --> 00:02:33,271 As long as we stick together, 68 00:02:33,272 --> 00:02:35,437 and support each other, we can crush him. 69 00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:37,854 Because what we are doing is amazing, okay? 70 00:02:37,855 --> 00:02:40,062 We are building the world's first truly open, 71 00:02:40,063 --> 00:02:42,970 truly free de-centralized Internet. 72 00:02:43,423 --> 00:02:46,604 And I tell you what, I got a sneak preview for you guys, okay? 73 00:02:46,605 --> 00:02:48,271 Because as of this morning, 74 00:02:49,324 --> 00:02:51,478 - messaging is live. - What! 75 00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,174 - Cool. - Yeah. 76 00:02:53,175 --> 00:02:54,633 Really? So cool! 77 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:55,839 So... 78 00:02:56,386 --> 00:02:58,635 right now, I will send to you all 79 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,134 the very first message 80 00:03:00,135 --> 00:03:03,926 ever to be sent on a de-centralized, peer-to-peer Internet. 81 00:03:04,513 --> 00:03:06,221 - Ready? - [PHONE CLICKING] 82 00:03:06,222 --> 00:03:07,679 [SENT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION] 83 00:03:08,224 --> 00:03:09,424 - "Hit her." - [PHONES DINGING] 84 00:03:09,681 --> 00:03:11,970 I don't get it. Are you talking about me? 85 00:03:11,971 --> 00:03:13,301 I meant to say "Hi there." 86 00:03:13,302 --> 00:03:15,517 Well, it definitely says "Hit her." 87 00:03:15,518 --> 00:03:17,350 - I'll try it again. There's a new one. - [PHONE CLICKING] 88 00:03:17,351 --> 00:03:18,976 - There. "Hi there." - [SENT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION] 89 00:03:18,977 --> 00:03:20,893 - "Hi there, Hitler." - [PHONES DING] 90 00:03:20,894 --> 00:03:22,019 [WHISPERS] Goddammit. 91 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,065 Hey, Richard? 92 00:03:24,226 --> 00:03:25,517 You don't have any issue with us 93 00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:27,919 being an exclusively gay site, do you? 94 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:28,920 What? No! 95 00:03:28,921 --> 00:03:30,585 No, it's... It's totally cool. 96 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,627 Oh! Wait a minute, no, I don't mean you are anti-gay. 97 00:03:33,628 --> 00:03:35,126 I mean the opposite. Like, are you worried 98 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,043 that we're excluding straight people? 99 00:03:37,044 --> 00:03:38,293 Oh. I just remember you said, 100 00:03:38,294 --> 00:03:40,710 you want your new Internet to be open for everybody, 101 00:03:40,711 --> 00:03:43,585 and, you know, I just want to make sure we're jibing with your vision. 102 00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:46,085 Deedee, we are psyched to have you aboard. 103 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,418 Exclude all the straight people you want. [CHUCKLES] 104 00:03:48,419 --> 00:03:49,585 - You sure? - Yep. 105 00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:51,543 - Because we're not snobs about it. - [CHUCKLES] 106 00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:52,960 I mean, between you and me, 107 00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:54,126 I'm dreadfully boring. 108 00:03:54,127 --> 00:03:55,996 I might as well be straight myself. 109 00:03:56,211 --> 00:03:58,085 I've been with the same man for seven years. 110 00:03:58,086 --> 00:03:59,543 I go to church every Sunday. 111 00:03:59,544 --> 00:04:00,627 Look, it... it's all good. 112 00:04:00,628 --> 00:04:03,089 FirstSight is a gay dating site. 113 00:04:03,419 --> 00:04:06,023 And... and I will sing it from the rooftops. 114 00:04:06,169 --> 00:04:07,377 Alright, well, thank you, Richard. 115 00:04:07,378 --> 00:04:08,627 I think this is gonna be great. 116 00:04:08,628 --> 00:04:09,628 Cool. 117 00:04:11,286 --> 00:04:12,619 Yeah. Okay. 118 00:04:12,644 --> 00:04:14,646 - Don't be weird. - I didn't know what we'd be doing. 119 00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:16,670 ♪ 120 00:04:19,894 --> 00:04:20,919 RICHARD: So... 121 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,752 everybody is very psyched. 122 00:04:22,753 --> 00:04:24,835 You know who else is psyched? I'll give you a hint. 123 00:04:24,836 --> 00:04:27,794 They have four thumbs, and they are these two guys. 124 00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:29,960 - I am very excited. - I am giddy! 125 00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:31,669 Okay, what... What happened? 126 00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,122 We found the mole. 127 00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:34,875 - What? - Yeah. 128 00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:36,166 Who? How? 129 00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:37,740 Good old-fashioned police work. 130 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,042 I skimmed through all 40,000 of the staff's outgoing emails. 131 00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:42,585 - Yeah? - And in addition to learning 132 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,793 that we need to revise the office dating policy, 133 00:04:44,794 --> 00:04:47,418 because it is, essentially, the Olympic Village out there, 134 00:04:47,419 --> 00:04:49,501 I learned that someone has been sending 135 00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:51,084 a number of encrypted messages 136 00:04:51,085 --> 00:04:53,376 but using Gilfoyle's purloined NSA tools... 137 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,836 I can't hold this smile forever, Jared. Get to the good stuff. 138 00:04:57,086 --> 00:04:59,209 One of our coders has been sending info 139 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:00,752 straight to Hooli High Command. 140 00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:04,876 RICHARD: Wow. 141 00:05:04,877 --> 00:05:07,418 How the fuck did the mole get all this information? 142 00:05:07,419 --> 00:05:11,293 By exploiting our most glaring weakness. 143 00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,418 [OFF-KEY] ♪ You were working as a waitress ♪ 144 00:05:13,419 --> 00:05:15,585 ♪ In a cocktail bar ♪ 145 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:19,126 ♪ When I met Jeff ♪ 146 00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:21,168 [THEME MUSIC PLAYS] 147 00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:29,069 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 148 00:05:29,669 --> 00:05:31,917 No, no, no. You guys have it all wrong. 149 00:05:31,918 --> 00:05:33,959 Okay? There's no way Jeff is the mole. 150 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,585 Okay? It's not Jeff. 151 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,293 - [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES] - Right, Jeff? 152 00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,376 [CLANK] 153 00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:40,297 Jeff? 154 00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:42,877 What about Dave & Buster's, Jeff? 155 00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:46,042 What about that time I got a bullseye in Skee-Ball 156 00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:47,209 and yelled out, "Bazinga!" 157 00:05:47,210 --> 00:05:48,835 And you said, "Okay." 158 00:05:49,054 --> 00:05:51,095 You can't fake enthusiasm like that. 159 00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:53,501 Well, I did. 160 00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:55,209 - [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES] - JARED: You Judas. 161 00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:57,209 You cow-handed poltroon! 162 00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:59,001 We... We thought you were a Stallion! 163 00:05:59,002 --> 00:06:00,835 - You're no Stallion. - [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES] 164 00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:02,501 What is it with you guys and stallions? 165 00:06:02,502 --> 00:06:04,668 What's with you being a rat fuck? 166 00:06:04,807 --> 00:06:07,835 You signed a very aggressive Non-Disclosure Agreement... 167 00:06:07,836 --> 00:06:09,668 - [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES] - which you are in breach of. 168 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:10,669 [NAIL GUN CONTINUES] 169 00:06:10,693 --> 00:06:12,667 Which means, we can fire you, obviously, 170 00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:16,001 and then have you arrested, and thrown in jail. 171 00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:19,418 But Gavin would then know we are on to you, 172 00:06:19,419 --> 00:06:20,575 so here's the deal. 173 00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,917 You're gonna come into the office every day, 174 00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:25,793 and sit down at your fucking workstation, 175 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,543 and pretend like nothing's wrong. 176 00:06:27,544 --> 00:06:28,751 [SIGHS] Fine. 177 00:06:28,752 --> 00:06:29,876 [DISCHARGES] 178 00:06:29,877 --> 00:06:31,544 Uh, that was mine. 179 00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:34,768 Bummer. 180 00:06:35,304 --> 00:06:38,042 "The irony is, the Internet, which we all use 181 00:06:38,043 --> 00:06:39,876 "to search for billions of things, 182 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:43,877 "has itself long been searching for something. 183 00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:46,371 And here it is." 184 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:48,992 Okay, then I turn and gesture. 185 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,668 [SERENE MUSIC PLAYING] 186 00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:54,120 "The Box Three. 187 00:06:54,752 --> 00:06:56,793 Signature Edition." 188 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,215 Then I come back to the podium. 189 00:07:01,516 --> 00:07:03,139 "I put my name on this, 190 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,835 "because I personally stand behind 191 00:07:05,836 --> 00:07:07,432 "the new SAS-slash 192 00:07:07,457 --> 00:07:10,689 SSD-slash-NVMe drive bays, 193 00:07:10,836 --> 00:07:13,042 "the 24-core processors. 194 00:07:13,043 --> 00:07:16,414 "I stand behind the ECC DDR4 195 00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:18,485 SD-RAM LR-DIMMs 196 00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:21,218 "and their exceptional reliability. 197 00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:23,492 Will you stand with me?" 198 00:07:23,918 --> 00:07:25,586 [APPLAUSE] 199 00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:32,586 - [SETS BOTTLE DOWN] - [SIGHS] 200 00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,501 About the spotlight, should it be wider? 201 00:07:37,502 --> 00:07:39,084 - I had the same thought. - As did I. 202 00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,965 - I can speak with the technical team. - Please. 203 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,751 Any word from our mole at Pied Piper? 204 00:07:43,752 --> 00:07:45,585 I'm confident that if there were anything to report, 205 00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:47,084 we'd have heard about it by now, sir. 206 00:07:47,442 --> 00:07:48,501 Alright! 207 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,042 I'm off to Jackson Hole for a couple of days to clear my mind, 208 00:07:51,043 --> 00:07:52,334 and center myself. 209 00:07:52,335 --> 00:07:54,835 I'll be off the grid. Not to be disturbed for any reason. 210 00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:56,293 - Understood? - SCOTT: Absolutely. 211 00:07:56,294 --> 00:07:58,428 Is there anything else you'd like us to take care of? Oh. 212 00:07:58,452 --> 00:08:00,201 Oh. The bear is sticky with honey. 213 00:08:00,752 --> 00:08:01,752 See ya soon. 214 00:08:07,646 --> 00:08:10,572 "The bear is sticky with honey." 215 00:08:11,168 --> 00:08:12,454 What does he mean by that? 216 00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:13,973 I don't know. 217 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,110 Hello, Stallions. 218 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,495 You continue to be the best of the best. 219 00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:21,599 I commend you. 220 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,793 And then there's you. 221 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,001 The anti-Stallion. 222 00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:27,335 Move your hand off your fucking mouse, now. 223 00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:35,001 And I was going to take you to see BattleBots live with me, 224 00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:37,043 but no longer... "friend." 225 00:08:37,335 --> 00:08:38,962 Now who looks stupid? 226 00:08:39,544 --> 00:08:40,710 ♪ 227 00:08:40,711 --> 00:08:42,334 Yeah, so, um... 228 00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:45,793 our new developers just agreed to our terms, 229 00:08:45,794 --> 00:08:48,042 RICHARD [ON PHONE]: and are now officially on board. 230 00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:50,886 Richard is a master at getting consent. 231 00:08:51,294 --> 00:08:53,334 That's great news, guys. 232 00:08:53,335 --> 00:08:54,668 Eight new partners. 233 00:08:54,669 --> 00:08:57,877 Yeah! Actually, we're calling them the OctoPipers. 234 00:09:01,669 --> 00:09:03,543 Uh, until a better name comes along. 235 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,668 Just wanted to give that one its day in court. 236 00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:08,126 Well, we have some more good news for you, Richard. 237 00:09:08,127 --> 00:09:09,127 You remember last year, 238 00:09:09,128 --> 00:09:11,042 Laurie and I funded K-Hole Games? 239 00:09:11,043 --> 00:09:13,376 Largest independent gaming company in the Valley? 240 00:09:13,377 --> 00:09:15,376 Uh, yeah, of course! 241 00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:18,042 Um, actually, now that you... you bring them up, 242 00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:19,835 I-I didn't want to be too forward, 243 00:09:19,836 --> 00:09:21,710 but I was hoping that one day, 244 00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:24,543 we could talk to them about joining our 'net. 245 00:09:24,544 --> 00:09:26,835 Well, what if I told you that day is today? 246 00:09:26,836 --> 00:09:27,836 What? 247 00:09:27,837 --> 00:09:30,209 In addition to being business associates, 248 00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:32,668 the CEO and I take medically prescribed 249 00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:34,543 and supervised MDMA together. 250 00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:37,084 I'm taking it for severe post-partum depression. 251 00:09:37,085 --> 00:09:39,297 I do not know why he is taking it. 252 00:09:39,544 --> 00:09:41,751 Regardless, when I saw him yesterday, 253 00:09:41,752 --> 00:09:45,543 he was quite euphoric about speaking to you regarding a deal. 254 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,209 K-Hole? The creators of the game 255 00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:49,751 "Undead Sex Offender"? They're... they're huge. 256 00:09:49,752 --> 00:09:53,418 Yeah! Yeah, partnering with a company of that size this early 257 00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,917 would put us months ahead. 258 00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,927 This is not a done deal. 259 00:09:57,127 --> 00:10:00,126 K-Hole is protective of its brand. 260 00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:01,585 They will want to speak to you 261 00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:03,334 regarding who else you are dealing with. 262 00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,334 Okay, right, well, um... 263 00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:07,293 why don't I just bring the OctoPipers? 264 00:10:07,294 --> 00:10:10,376 New name to come, though it's pretty popular around here. 265 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:13,484 Uh, they can talk to K-Hole. 266 00:10:13,836 --> 00:10:15,737 Tell them why they joined. 267 00:10:15,877 --> 00:10:18,159 Allowing you to speak less? 268 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,626 Good strategy. Alright. 269 00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:22,794 K-Hole will be expecting you this afternoon. 270 00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:25,377 Knock 'em dead, Richard. 271 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,794 Whatever you are doing, stop it now. 272 00:10:31,294 --> 00:10:34,298 Um, yeah. We're just... high-fiving. 273 00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:35,626 Bye. 274 00:10:35,627 --> 00:10:37,126 K-Hole. I can't believe it! 275 00:10:37,127 --> 00:10:39,167 I'm bursting. I'm bursting! 276 00:10:39,168 --> 00:10:41,209 Um, here, I printed driving directions. 277 00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:42,959 - Oh, it's okay, I got my phone. - [CAR REVVING] 278 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,126 Well, I have marked available bathrooms along the route. 279 00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:48,834 [HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING] 280 00:10:49,877 --> 00:10:51,543 Okay, here we go. 281 00:10:51,544 --> 00:10:54,724 Richard, you never return my calls. 282 00:10:54,897 --> 00:10:57,126 You mean the hundreds of voicemails you've left 283 00:10:57,127 --> 00:11:00,366 where you just called me a terrible CEO with no dick? 284 00:11:00,669 --> 00:11:02,751 Yes! You're talking to other companies. 285 00:11:02,752 --> 00:11:05,251 [SHUSHES] That is not public information. 286 00:11:05,252 --> 00:11:07,376 JIAN-YANG: I'm a part owner in Pied Piper. 287 00:11:07,377 --> 00:11:10,293 You need to make a deal with my companies. 288 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,835 You mean your incubator's spurious knock-offs 289 00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:15,042 of legitimate American businesses? 290 00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:18,334 "New Expedia," "New Snapchat," "New Zillow"? 291 00:11:18,335 --> 00:11:20,170 But they're for Chinese market. 292 00:11:20,752 --> 00:11:23,001 It's a very sophisticated strategy. 293 00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:25,167 Okay, look, taking existing companies 294 00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:28,543 and just calling them "new" isn't sophisticated. That's theft. 295 00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,192 You make a new Internet. 296 00:11:30,377 --> 00:11:32,293 [STAMMERING] 297 00:11:32,294 --> 00:11:33,626 That is different. 298 00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,293 I... Look, we're not gonna make any deals 299 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,980 with any of your companies, okay? 300 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,835 [PHONE VIBRATES] 301 00:11:40,836 --> 00:11:41,985 Don't pick up. 302 00:11:45,002 --> 00:11:46,995 Richard, hello. 303 00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:48,542 It's Jian-Yang. 304 00:11:48,669 --> 00:11:51,547 You are a shitty CEO. 305 00:11:53,877 --> 00:11:56,936 As long as I own 10% of Pied Piper, 306 00:11:57,627 --> 00:11:59,251 I will make chaos. 307 00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:01,059 Okay. 308 00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:03,959 I thought you hated that car. 309 00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:06,501 Aviato car smells like a dead pig. 310 00:12:06,502 --> 00:12:09,877 You're aware that Russ Hanneman urinated in that car, no? 311 00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:12,209 This car? 312 00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:13,210 Mm-hmm. 313 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,819 Uh... 314 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,984 - are you just gonna leave it here? - Yes. 315 00:12:19,985 --> 00:12:20,985 Well... 316 00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:23,484 looks like I have a reason to find 317 00:12:23,485 --> 00:12:25,270 Pied Piper's official towing company. 318 00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:26,544 I'm gonna get some bids. 319 00:12:26,569 --> 00:12:27,799 Yeah, while you're at it, 320 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,175 see if you can find someone to bash that guy's face in. 321 00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:33,300 Uh, I-I can do some research. 322 00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:34,967 [PHONE VIBRATES] 323 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,395 Maybe turn your phone off during the meeting. 324 00:12:41,509 --> 00:12:43,341 [YELLING] You're a shitty CEO! 325 00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:46,009 - [SCREAMING] - [GUNFIRE] 326 00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:49,425 [VIOLENT NOISES CONTINUE] 327 00:12:49,426 --> 00:12:51,467 RICHARD: Thanks again, Colin, for having us. 328 00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:53,216 Uh, the fact that a company like yours 329 00:12:53,217 --> 00:12:55,841 with such a pristine reputation it sitting down with us 330 00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:57,633 is, honestly, incredibly flattering. 331 00:12:57,779 --> 00:12:58,799 It's cool. 332 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,258 - [MAN SHOUTING IN GAME] - Ooh, wow. 333 00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:02,717 - That'll be a closed casket. - Yeah. 334 00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:04,216 Alright, well, we thought the best way 335 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,176 to introduce the Pipernet 336 00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:07,341 would be through the eight developers 337 00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:08,552 that have already signed on. 338 00:13:08,577 --> 00:13:10,634 Who we are calling the OctoPipers. 339 00:13:12,069 --> 00:13:13,069 That's dumb. 340 00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:16,152 Um, anyway, let's introduce you to the group. 341 00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:18,945 Um, we've got a great analytics tool 342 00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:20,736 by a former Google guru. 343 00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:22,569 - Wish I'd have thought of that one. - Cool. 344 00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:25,319 Uh, music streaming with an AI taste predictor 345 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,766 that is off the charts. 346 00:13:26,987 --> 00:13:27,987 Good space. 347 00:13:27,988 --> 00:13:30,486 Yes, and this handsome devil over here, 348 00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:32,959 is creating a very promising gay dating site. 349 00:13:33,171 --> 00:13:34,178 That's cool. 350 00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:36,152 Yeah, but don't worry, he's not snobby about it. 351 00:13:36,153 --> 00:13:37,444 He's actually pretty boring. 352 00:13:37,445 --> 00:13:39,319 I don't mean that as an insult. Those are his words. 353 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,528 Long-term relationship. Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. 354 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,841 And him and his man go to church every Sunday. 355 00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:45,070 So... 356 00:13:45,862 --> 00:13:47,766 loves Bible studies, right? 357 00:13:48,024 --> 00:13:50,398 Just a straight-up boring, ordinary guy, 358 00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:51,720 but obviously not straight. 359 00:13:52,035 --> 00:13:55,192 Very gay, and also a Christian, right? 360 00:13:56,399 --> 00:13:58,273 RICHARD: Okay, so, that went well. 361 00:13:58,274 --> 00:14:00,702 It started out a little weird, but things really picked up... 362 00:14:00,727 --> 00:14:01,678 Why did you do that? 363 00:14:01,703 --> 00:14:03,565 - Why did you say that? - Say what? 364 00:14:03,566 --> 00:14:05,565 Richard, you just told a room full of tech people 365 00:14:05,566 --> 00:14:06,898 that I'm a [WHISPERS] Christian. 366 00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:08,371 Oh. 367 00:14:08,396 --> 00:14:10,273 Okay, but... But you are, aren't you? 368 00:14:10,274 --> 00:14:12,607 [WHISPERS] Yes, but I told you that in confidence. 369 00:14:12,608 --> 00:14:14,066 I said "between you and me." 370 00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,527 I'm not openly Christian. 371 00:14:17,254 --> 00:14:18,752 [SIGHS] Thanks a lot, man. 372 00:14:18,753 --> 00:14:19,794 You just outed me. 373 00:14:19,795 --> 00:14:21,684 Oh, I'm sorry, Deedee. I didn't... 374 00:14:22,253 --> 00:14:25,252 Okay, um, should we hug? 375 00:14:25,253 --> 00:14:27,128 I can not make it weird this time. 376 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:31,836 I'm... I'm sorry, Richard. 377 00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,669 You know that my default position 378 00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:35,793 is blind support of whatever you do, but... 379 00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:38,127 this was not your best moment. 380 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,252 Guys, it can't be that big of a deal, right? 381 00:14:40,253 --> 00:14:41,502 Why should it be? 382 00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:43,011 America loves Christians. 383 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,243 Muslims are the enemy. 384 00:14:44,378 --> 00:14:46,127 Well, that's true in most of America, 385 00:14:46,128 --> 00:14:48,490 but not in Silicon Valley, sadly. 386 00:14:48,712 --> 00:14:51,544 "Sadly"? You can be openly polyamorous. 387 00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:53,669 And people here will call you brave. 388 00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:56,961 You can put micro-doses of LSD in your cereal, 389 00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,669 and... and people will call you a pioneer. 390 00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:02,293 But the one thing you cannot be is a Christian. 391 00:15:02,294 --> 00:15:04,335 I find their theology to be illegitimate, 392 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,585 and it's clear that they are the source 393 00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:08,627 of the majority of the world's problems. 394 00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:10,369 But, fuck, Richard, even I wouldn't just... 395 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,669 out a Christian like that. 396 00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,460 Yeah, it was kinda fucked up. 397 00:15:15,191 --> 00:15:16,727 Cool man, thanks. 398 00:15:17,545 --> 00:15:20,210 [SOFTLY] Hey, I thought he wasn't supposed to chime in. 399 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,675 Yeah, he's not, but... 400 00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,043 based on its merits, I'll allow that one. 401 00:15:25,044 --> 00:15:27,419 Guys, [STAMMERS] come on. 402 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:28,743 It can't be that bad. 403 00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:29,850 Richard! 404 00:15:30,035 --> 00:15:32,285 What the fuck did you do over there? 405 00:15:32,286 --> 00:15:35,577 So I just got off the phone with Colin over at K-Hole, 406 00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:37,118 and while he loves your tech, 407 00:15:37,119 --> 00:15:38,909 he's considering blowing up the deal. 408 00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:39,910 What? 409 00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:41,909 Just because one of my CEOs is Christian? 410 00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,743 It freaks people out in the Valley! 411 00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:46,361 Okay, so what do you want me to do, Monica? 412 00:15:46,386 --> 00:15:48,713 You want me to drop Deedee just because he's Christian? 413 00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:50,952 The company's not Christian. It's gay... 414 00:15:51,728 --> 00:15:52,935 which is fine, right? 415 00:15:52,936 --> 00:15:54,810 Yeah! No, that... That plays great. 416 00:15:54,811 --> 00:15:57,769 Look, cutting all ties to Deedee and FirstSight 417 00:15:57,770 --> 00:16:00,166 will definitely send a strong message to Colin. 418 00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:01,643 And it might be the only way. 419 00:16:01,644 --> 00:16:04,143 Like killing somebody to prove you're not a narc, 420 00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:06,143 or showing a john your genitals 421 00:16:06,144 --> 00:16:08,019 to prove you're a legitimate male prostitute 422 00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,185 and not an undercover cop. 423 00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,715 - What? - Because cops aren't allowed to do that. 424 00:16:11,769 --> 00:16:13,351 And worst case scenario, 425 00:16:13,352 --> 00:16:15,185 - the john walks off with a free peek. - [PHONE VIBRATING] 426 00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:17,644 Oh, that's the towing company. Excuse me. 427 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,121 [GROANS] Forget it. 428 00:16:20,122 --> 00:16:21,663 Monica, I'm not doing it. 429 00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:23,871 I mean, I'm not dropping him. 430 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,704 Alright. Fine. 431 00:16:25,706 --> 00:16:27,622 Fine. I-I will call Colin, 432 00:16:27,623 --> 00:16:29,413 and try and smooth things over for you, 433 00:16:29,414 --> 00:16:31,121 but you need to handle Deedee. 434 00:16:31,122 --> 00:16:33,497 Okay, apologize for outing him, of course, 435 00:16:33,498 --> 00:16:36,330 but you need to make sure he keeps quiet about this. 436 00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,371 Alright, 'cause it's not just about losing K-Hole, 437 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,747 it's way worse than that. 438 00:16:39,905 --> 00:16:40,996 Let's put it this way. 439 00:16:40,997 --> 00:16:42,996 Would you want to go from being a rock band 440 00:16:42,997 --> 00:16:46,581 to being... [WHISPERS] a Christian rock band? 441 00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:48,755 Oh, shit. 442 00:16:49,255 --> 00:16:52,001 "The bear is sticky with honey." 443 00:16:52,621 --> 00:16:54,330 Those were his exact words. 444 00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:55,538 But what does that mean? 445 00:16:55,539 --> 00:16:57,246 Well, Gavin speaks in parables. 446 00:16:57,247 --> 00:16:59,284 I think what Gavin is saying is... 447 00:16:59,914 --> 00:17:01,455 "consider the bear." 448 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,926 And all this pizazz is like the honey. 449 00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,781 And it's become too sticky. 450 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,875 There's too much of it. It's all over him. 451 00:17:07,876 --> 00:17:10,479 Incorrect. No, see, the whole launch is the bear, 452 00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:12,541 and the honey is the pizazz. 453 00:17:12,542 --> 00:17:14,179 The bear needs more pizazz. 454 00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,846 The bear is ravenous for pizazz. 455 00:17:16,847 --> 00:17:18,179 You don't speak for Gavin. 456 00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,604 I don't need to. This is the word of Gavin. 457 00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:22,045 Alright, forget it. 458 00:17:22,194 --> 00:17:24,233 - You do it your way, I'll do it mine. - Okay, fine. 459 00:17:24,257 --> 00:17:26,355 Gonna show you. Make it clear for all of you. 460 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,380 Okay, follow me. 461 00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,673 JARED: Well, congratulations on becoming 462 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,711 Pied Piper's official towing company. 463 00:17:31,841 --> 00:17:33,290 Uh-huh, yeah, great. 464 00:17:33,507 --> 00:17:34,631 So should I bill this to you, 465 00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:37,047 or is Mr. Bighetti gonna take care of it? 466 00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,880 "Bighetti"? It's registered under his name. 467 00:17:39,882 --> 00:17:40,992 I'm sorry. Can I...? 468 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:47,006 ♪ 469 00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:48,769 RICHARD: Anyway, it was a mistake. 470 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,102 I'm sorry I outed you. 471 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,728 I just wish we could go back to normal. 472 00:17:51,729 --> 00:17:54,102 You know, just like, how things were. 473 00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:55,691 A CEO and a gay CEO. 474 00:17:55,918 --> 00:17:57,872 I don't even know what normal is anymore, Richard. 475 00:17:57,896 --> 00:18:00,020 It's been such a crazy 24 hours, you know? 476 00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,513 Gossip travels so fast in the Valley. 477 00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,494 I'll be lucky if my parents ever talk to me again. 478 00:18:04,495 --> 00:18:05,796 Your parents aren't Christian? 479 00:18:06,037 --> 00:18:07,286 I'm from Palo Alto. 480 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,662 You know, my dad says my lifestyle makes him sick. 481 00:18:10,287 --> 00:18:11,787 He just wants his gay son back. 482 00:18:11,788 --> 00:18:13,912 And he's okay with the gay part? 483 00:18:13,913 --> 00:18:15,426 - He's gay. - Oh. 484 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,759 But the crazy part is, 485 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,168 when I finally got home and I got in bed, 486 00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:22,009 I had the soundest sleep I've had in years. 487 00:18:22,328 --> 00:18:25,001 - Exhaustion. - No! Relief, Richard. 488 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:26,502 I'm out, okay? 489 00:18:26,503 --> 00:18:27,710 My nightmare's over. 490 00:18:27,711 --> 00:18:29,799 I don't ever have to go back in the closet again, 491 00:18:29,824 --> 00:18:32,169 and I've got you to thank for it. 492 00:18:34,169 --> 00:18:35,169 Check it out. 493 00:18:35,193 --> 00:18:36,585 _ 494 00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:38,502 Oh, oh, oh. 495 00:18:38,503 --> 00:18:39,558 You like it? 496 00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:42,919 It's good. I guess... maybe it's just a little busy? 497 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,960 Like, um, there's one word too many. 498 00:18:44,961 --> 00:18:47,335 One word? Well, I like the gay part. 499 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:48,835 If anything, it could be more gay. 500 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,543 You should gay it up, 501 00:18:50,544 --> 00:18:52,618 and then, I like the "proud" part. 502 00:18:52,961 --> 00:18:54,549 [GULPS] It's just the... 503 00:18:54,972 --> 00:18:56,001 Christian part. 504 00:18:56,347 --> 00:18:58,418 Look, Richard, this is great, 505 00:18:58,419 --> 00:19:01,502 because now I can be gay and a Christian. 506 00:19:01,503 --> 00:19:02,731 Or just be gay! 507 00:19:03,294 --> 00:19:05,210 You know, you could be a... a twink. 508 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,377 A bear, an otter. 509 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,418 A circuit queen, a chub, a pup. 510 00:19:08,419 --> 00:19:10,043 A gipster, a daddy chaser, 511 00:19:10,044 --> 00:19:11,502 a leatherman, a lady boy. 512 00:19:11,503 --> 00:19:12,752 You could be a Donald Duck, 513 00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:14,794 which is a gay guy who got kicked out of the Navy. 514 00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:16,001 Yeah, I... I know what it is. 515 00:19:16,002 --> 00:19:17,402 How do you know so many gay things? 516 00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:19,544 I worked with a guy. 517 00:19:21,211 --> 00:19:22,211 Just... 518 00:19:22,753 --> 00:19:23,915 don't be a Christian. 519 00:19:24,278 --> 00:19:25,451 [SCOFFS] Wow. 520 00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:27,210 After all you put me through, 521 00:19:27,211 --> 00:19:28,919 it turns out, you're biased too. 522 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,477 No! No, no, no! I'm not! 523 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,691 I swear to you I'm not. I'm chill AF. 524 00:19:33,086 --> 00:19:34,293 It's just everybody else. 525 00:19:34,294 --> 00:19:37,585 Look, if you go Christian, I lose K-Hole games. 526 00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:39,960 I cannot let that happen. I know it sucks. 527 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,710 It's shitty, but it's the truth. 528 00:19:41,711 --> 00:19:43,508 I'm gonna make things easy for you, Richard. 529 00:19:44,298 --> 00:19:45,379 I'm out. 530 00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:48,082 - Of the closet? - No! 531 00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:49,702 The new Internet! 532 00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,085 The Internet you said was gonna be... What was it? 533 00:19:52,086 --> 00:19:54,627 "The first truly free and open Internet." 534 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,919 Open for everyone. 535 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,293 Whatever happened to that, huh? 536 00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:58,752 ♪ 537 00:19:58,753 --> 00:19:59,948 Nice place. 538 00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:01,564 Oh, thanks, yeah. 539 00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:03,798 Oh, wow! That's a nice touch. 540 00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:05,335 BIG HEAD: Yeah, thanks! 541 00:20:05,336 --> 00:20:07,919 The Monterey Bay Aquarium was testing their sonar, 542 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,054 and found this thing, like, two miles under the ocean. 543 00:20:11,262 --> 00:20:13,293 And I figure, Erlich and I already bought it, 544 00:20:13,294 --> 00:20:14,835 so I might as well hold onto it. 545 00:20:14,836 --> 00:20:16,752 Plus, it weighs like 8,000 pounds, 546 00:20:16,753 --> 00:20:18,460 so I couldn't move it if I wanted to. 547 00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:20,626 Well, and it also kinda works as your mascot. 548 00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,166 Right? 'Cause of your name? 549 00:20:22,294 --> 00:20:24,002 Oh, yeah, 'cause "Nelson." 550 00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:26,776 Oh, I meant because it's a big head. 551 00:20:28,005 --> 00:20:29,739 I guess that works, too. 552 00:20:30,753 --> 00:20:31,963 So, what's up, man? 553 00:20:32,086 --> 00:20:34,377 Um, well, I wanted to ask you... 554 00:20:34,378 --> 00:20:36,051 Oh! Big Head! 555 00:20:36,378 --> 00:20:38,165 [CHUCKLES] Now I get it. 556 00:20:38,419 --> 00:20:40,293 Sorry. Is... is it possible 557 00:20:40,294 --> 00:20:42,960 that the general partnership that you formed with Erlich 558 00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:44,251 is still in effect? 559 00:20:44,252 --> 00:20:45,817 Oh. No way. 560 00:20:46,127 --> 00:20:47,902 You definitely dissolved it? 561 00:20:47,903 --> 00:20:49,319 Yeah, my dad insisted. 562 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,235 I remember he filled out this whole form for me, 563 00:20:52,236 --> 00:20:53,360 and made me sign it, 564 00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:54,819 mail it in and everything. 565 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,902 Yeah, 'cause I... I remember I had the paperwork in one hand, 566 00:20:57,903 --> 00:21:00,103 and the menu for Mr. Chow's in the other. 567 00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,170 And then... 568 00:21:05,653 --> 00:21:07,943 [PAPERS RUSTLING] 569 00:21:07,944 --> 00:21:09,320 ♪ 570 00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:15,027 Oh, no way! 571 00:21:15,646 --> 00:21:16,652 Still have the paperwork. 572 00:21:16,653 --> 00:21:18,777 Guess I must have sent the menu. 573 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,027 Big Head, this is great news. 574 00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:22,193 SCOTT: Gavin? 575 00:21:22,194 --> 00:21:23,861 I think you're really going to love the changes 576 00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:25,319 that my team has made to the presentation. 577 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,637 I think you might like ours even better. 578 00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:29,611 Sorry, what changes? 579 00:21:29,612 --> 00:21:30,861 We are presenting two paths, 580 00:21:30,862 --> 00:21:33,110 and you alone will decide which one we walk, Gavin. 581 00:21:33,111 --> 00:21:34,611 What the fuck are you talking about? 582 00:21:34,612 --> 00:21:36,444 I thought the presentation was fine as it is. 583 00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:38,777 - Wait. What? - You did? 584 00:21:38,968 --> 00:21:40,218 Goddammit! 585 00:21:40,737 --> 00:21:42,027 Why is this still here? 586 00:21:42,028 --> 00:21:43,861 I said it was too sticky. 587 00:21:43,862 --> 00:21:46,027 Don't you listen to anything I say? 588 00:21:46,028 --> 00:21:47,110 [SETS BEAR DOWN] 589 00:21:47,111 --> 00:21:49,110 - The bear... - Sticky with honey. 590 00:21:49,587 --> 00:21:50,902 So what did you change? 591 00:21:51,134 --> 00:21:52,485 Uh, the spotlight. 592 00:21:52,486 --> 00:21:54,861 Yes! We're making it wider just like you asked. 593 00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:56,061 Good. 594 00:21:56,062 --> 00:21:58,228 You know what? Let's show you to your dressing room. 595 00:21:58,229 --> 00:21:59,936 Yeah. And whenever you're ready, you let us know, 596 00:21:59,937 --> 00:22:01,374 we'll show you that spotlight, huh? 597 00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:03,395 - You're gonna love it. - SARAH: We did it! 598 00:22:03,396 --> 00:22:05,727 We had to fly him in from Tucson, but we got the bear. 599 00:22:05,728 --> 00:22:08,437 [BEAR GROWLING] 600 00:22:10,281 --> 00:22:12,186 Gavin hates the bear. You failed! 601 00:22:12,453 --> 00:22:14,040 Put everything back the way it was. 602 00:22:14,244 --> 00:22:15,728 And widen the spotlight! 603 00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:17,962 Guess what, asshole. 604 00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:19,869 Leon told me he wanted your ticket, 605 00:22:19,870 --> 00:22:22,912 'cause he wants to go see BattleBots with me. 606 00:22:24,203 --> 00:22:26,494 But then he remembered he actually had plans that night 607 00:22:26,495 --> 00:22:28,827 with a bunch of people, doesn't know what they're doing, 608 00:22:28,828 --> 00:22:29,869 their plans are sort of fluid, 609 00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:31,911 plus, it's like friends from his old work, 610 00:22:31,912 --> 00:22:33,703 so it'd be weird if I hung out with them. 611 00:22:34,745 --> 00:22:35,856 Anyway... 612 00:22:36,244 --> 00:22:39,535 looks like you and I are going to see BattleBots. 613 00:22:39,536 --> 00:22:40,952 You're going to hang out with me, 614 00:22:40,953 --> 00:22:42,744 and have fun, whether you like it or not. 615 00:22:42,745 --> 00:22:45,017 And what goes best with BattleBots? 616 00:22:45,745 --> 00:22:47,474 That's right. Chicken wings. 617 00:22:47,994 --> 00:22:51,862 That's why you get a sweet $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. 618 00:22:52,575 --> 00:22:54,869 Serves you right for fucking us over. 619 00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:56,244 Wash your fucking hair. 620 00:22:57,953 --> 00:23:00,272 And you know what happens when I get drunk, Jeff? 621 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,826 I get so sincere. 622 00:23:03,286 --> 00:23:04,612 It's really awkward. 623 00:23:04,870 --> 00:23:06,324 Fuck you, Jeff. 624 00:23:06,495 --> 00:23:07,869 Oh, um, can you drive? 625 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,869 ♪ 626 00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:12,452 Well, I spoke to La Flamme, 627 00:23:12,453 --> 00:23:13,474 and it's official. 628 00:23:13,662 --> 00:23:16,306 Big Head is still legally Erlich's next of kin. 629 00:23:16,411 --> 00:23:18,449 So Jian-Yang's whole gambit was for naught. 630 00:23:19,411 --> 00:23:20,619 Wow, really? 631 00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:23,327 Big Head owns Erlich's house, and 10% of Pied Piper. 632 00:23:23,328 --> 00:23:26,035 I called the sheriff and started eviction proceedings. 633 00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:27,666 We're gonna get everything back. 634 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:31,667 Oh, also, the, uh, OctoPipers are arriving for the meeting. 635 00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:34,165 It's a good thing that FirstSight dropped out, right? 636 00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:35,916 'Cause we're back down to eight developers, 637 00:23:35,917 --> 00:23:37,415 so you can keep that name. 638 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,588 Actually, uh, no, we can't. 639 00:23:41,059 --> 00:23:42,169 Wait, what? 640 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:44,680 - I'm glad this worked out. - Yeah. 641 00:23:44,834 --> 00:23:46,162 Thanks for dropping FirstSight. 642 00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:48,582 Jesus, my board would have nailed me to a cross. 643 00:23:48,583 --> 00:23:51,863 Well, I think we're just about ready to get going here, uh... 644 00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:53,499 Oh. Hey! 645 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,487 Oh, good, there he is. What's he doing here? 646 00:23:55,629 --> 00:23:59,557 He is here because I asked him to be. 647 00:24:00,143 --> 00:24:02,187 I want him to be one of our developers. 648 00:24:02,188 --> 00:24:04,170 What? No! Fuck that guy! 649 00:24:04,374 --> 00:24:05,595 Hey, man, how's it goin'? 650 00:24:05,981 --> 00:24:07,397 - Richard. - Deedee. 651 00:24:07,398 --> 00:24:08,689 - [WHISPERS] Can I talk to you? - Yeah! 652 00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:10,137 No, no, no. Actually, look! 653 00:24:10,356 --> 00:24:11,716 Look, guys, I... 654 00:24:12,189 --> 00:24:14,855 I asked you to be a part of this 655 00:24:14,856 --> 00:24:18,087 because I thought you were willing to take a chance 656 00:24:18,356 --> 00:24:19,744 on my idea. 657 00:24:19,745 --> 00:24:21,619 An entirely new Internet. 658 00:24:21,620 --> 00:24:23,577 An Internet that is everything 659 00:24:23,578 --> 00:24:26,263 the old Internet is supposed to be, but isn't. 660 00:24:26,411 --> 00:24:28,744 Truly free and truly open. 661 00:24:28,745 --> 00:24:30,327 Well, I'm sorry, gang. 662 00:24:30,907 --> 00:24:33,278 Truly open means "open to everyone." 663 00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:36,410 No matter how repugnant their views are. 664 00:24:36,411 --> 00:24:38,327 How ignorant or stupid, 665 00:24:38,328 --> 00:24:40,535 or, to be honest, totally fucking wrong. 666 00:24:40,536 --> 00:24:42,493 And, look, who are we to judge, right? 667 00:24:42,494 --> 00:24:43,951 There's some people out there that believe 668 00:24:43,952 --> 00:24:45,951 that we're living in a computer simulation. 669 00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:47,994 Well, that is supported by the evidence. 670 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:50,077 What? 671 00:24:50,078 --> 00:24:52,243 Uh, it's basic probability theory. 672 00:24:52,244 --> 00:24:54,586 Right, uh, Richard, can I talk to you for just a sec? 673 00:24:54,611 --> 00:24:55,664 Yes, of course. 674 00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:59,201 Uh, that's bullshit actually. 675 00:24:59,202 --> 00:25:00,285 It's been disproven. 676 00:25:00,286 --> 00:25:01,619 But why does that even matter? 677 00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:03,869 In a few years, we'll all be working for robots. 678 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:05,327 No, that's stupid. 679 00:25:05,328 --> 00:25:06,660 The robots will be working for us. 680 00:25:06,661 --> 00:25:08,493 Robots? Who gives a fuck about robots? 681 00:25:08,494 --> 00:25:10,910 It's the artificial super intelligence we should be worried about. 682 00:25:10,911 --> 00:25:12,493 Exactly, and that's why we have to stop it. 683 00:25:12,494 --> 00:25:14,660 Stop it? No, that's the us I'm talking about. 684 00:25:14,661 --> 00:25:16,535 We have to bring it into existence. 685 00:25:16,536 --> 00:25:19,410 Otherwise, it'll find out who didn't believe in it, and punish them. 686 00:25:19,411 --> 00:25:21,029 - CLARK: Right. - Guys, I was wrong. 687 00:25:21,661 --> 00:25:23,860 Um, Deedee is... 688 00:25:24,202 --> 00:25:27,410 not in. He's actually very much out. 689 00:25:27,411 --> 00:25:28,456 So... 690 00:25:28,745 --> 00:25:30,588 do-over on the whole speech. 691 00:25:31,286 --> 00:25:32,660 Fuck that guy! 692 00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:34,035 Christians suck! 693 00:25:34,036 --> 00:25:36,869 And, uh, here's a good side effect though. 694 00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:38,911 Uh, we all get to keep the name OctoPipers. 695 00:25:41,637 --> 00:25:44,365 You know what? Why don't we just take a quick five? 696 00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:46,744 [CLEARS THROAT] And then, we'll BRB, 697 00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:48,452 and then, go teams. 698 00:25:48,453 --> 00:25:50,453 So just... let's have a... 699 00:25:54,077 --> 00:25:55,577 What just happened? 700 00:25:55,578 --> 00:25:56,857 Deedee's out? 701 00:25:57,578 --> 00:25:59,452 Yeah, well, he said 702 00:25:59,453 --> 00:26:01,910 that right after he bailed on us, 703 00:26:01,911 --> 00:26:05,076 he went out and made a deal with our competitor. 704 00:26:05,354 --> 00:26:09,077 - But we don't have any competitors. - Richard? 705 00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:13,201 RICHARD: Fuckin' Jian-Yang. 706 00:26:13,202 --> 00:26:15,410 I'm gonna tear him a new asshole. 707 00:26:15,411 --> 00:26:18,368 It wasn't enough to do New Snapchat or New Expedia, 708 00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:20,243 he had to do New Pied Piper too? 709 00:26:20,244 --> 00:26:21,702 Where did he get our code? 710 00:26:21,703 --> 00:26:23,619 He was always stealing snacks from the office. 711 00:26:23,620 --> 00:26:25,327 He could've lifted it from anywhere. 712 00:26:25,328 --> 00:26:27,614 I guess that's what happened to my lavender cheese. 713 00:26:27,745 --> 00:26:29,745 - [POUNDING ON DOOR] - RICHARD: Jian-Yang! Open up! 714 00:26:35,411 --> 00:26:36,744 GILFOYLE: What the fuck? 715 00:26:36,745 --> 00:26:39,445 Why does every home I've ever loved get stripped? 716 00:26:40,703 --> 00:26:43,116 Is that Erlich in the bucket? 717 00:26:43,286 --> 00:26:45,286 ♪ 718 00:26:50,453 --> 00:26:51,619 Uh... [CLEARS THROAT] 719 00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:52,624 "Richard... 720 00:26:52,952 --> 00:26:56,771 "Hello, I went to China to do new new Internet. 721 00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:01,639 "Thank you. Enjoy your house. 722 00:27:02,202 --> 00:27:03,348 "I love you. 723 00:27:04,093 --> 00:27:05,167 Jian-Yang." 724 00:27:11,494 --> 00:27:14,620 [CHINESE HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING] 725 00:28:20,870 --> 00:28:22,076 I'm here with Pied Piper CEO Richard Hendricks, 726 00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,035 and newly minted COO Jared Dunn. 727 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:26,076 Tell me what your new internet is, 728 00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:28,369 and why Gavin Belson should be afraid of it. 729 00:28:29,036 --> 00:28:30,745 - Manure? - INTERVIEWER: Pardon? 730 00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:32,202 ♪ [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS] ♪ 731 00:28:32,453 --> 00:28:34,660 HOOVER: Sir, I had no idea they were this far along. 732 00:28:34,661 --> 00:28:35,703 You must be furious. 733 00:28:36,077 --> 00:28:37,202 That's the thing. 734 00:28:38,161 --> 00:28:39,161 I'm not. 735 00:28:40,369 --> 00:28:42,869 So, we're just giving a random company 736 00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:44,951 a bunch of free compute power on our network? 737 00:28:44,952 --> 00:28:46,577 Some company called Eklow. 738 00:28:46,578 --> 00:28:47,702 BERTRAM GILFOYLE: The AI company? 739 00:28:47,703 --> 00:28:50,035 Follow me, I'll introduce you to her. 740 00:28:50,036 --> 00:28:51,077 Sorry... Her? 741 00:28:52,077 --> 00:28:53,077 Fiona. 742 00:28:54,077 --> 00:28:56,244 - Good morning. - Isn't she pretty? 743 00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:59,160 - ♪ [MUSIC STOPS] ♪ - [ROBOT WHIRRING] 744 00:28:59,161 --> 00:29:00,410 Yeah, sure. Yep. 745 00:29:00,411 --> 00:29:02,870 ♪ [MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪53838

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