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Jian-Yang, are... Are you copying
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00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:06,048
all those companies
for the Chinese markets?
3
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,507
- Oh, no.
- ♪ [MUSIC PLAYING] ♪
4
00:00:09,757 --> 00:00:11,339
RICHARD HENDRICKS: Are you suggesting that
5
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:14,047
someone in here is leaking
info to Gavin Belson?
6
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Tell me about these... fridges.
7
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,423
[WHISPERING] It's a company secret.
8
00:00:17,424 --> 00:00:19,798
Do you want to save a fortune, or not?
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00:00:19,799 --> 00:00:20,799
Well, yes.
10
00:00:20,966 --> 00:00:22,923
In exchange, I need you
to do something for me,
11
00:00:22,924 --> 00:00:25,132
with regard to the people
who hacked your refrigerators.
12
00:00:25,382 --> 00:00:27,048
I'm going to destroy their lives.
13
00:00:27,632 --> 00:00:30,965
Jared, do you think
it's... time we hire a COO?
14
00:00:30,966 --> 00:00:32,840
You're 20-30 pounds underweight.
15
00:00:32,841 --> 00:00:34,089
Don't worry about him.
16
00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:36,132
We're gonna find you a much better COO.
17
00:00:36,757 --> 00:00:37,924
You want the job?
18
00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:41,107
- [GASPS, SOBS]
- All right... Ugh. All right.
19
00:00:48,957 --> 00:00:51,456
Okay, everybody, um, thanks for coming.
20
00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:52,923
Uh, sorry about the venue.
21
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We had a minor security issue.
22
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I didn't feel comfortable
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00:00:56,674 --> 00:00:58,339
hosting you guys at... at our offices.
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But, hey, at least out here,
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we don't run the risk
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00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,589
of running into anyone
from the tech industry.
27
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:05,965
- [BALLS CLACK]
- Yeah, they're all so old.
28
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,047
- But they look so happy.
- Yeah.
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RICHARD: It's weird.
30
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I don't understand it either.
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Anyway, I wanted you guys to meet,
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because despite being a very diverse
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and talented group of
young web developers...
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Goodscape, huh? Social coding platform.
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Tholio, analytics firm.
36
00:01:23,896 --> 00:01:25,563
Plucky, music streaming.
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FirstSight, dating site.
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Gay dating site.
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00:01:28,564 --> 00:01:31,229
Okay, technically, you're a dating site,
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but specifically, a gay one.
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Which is a subset, so I'm not wrong.
42
00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:37,646
Anyway, uh, despite all our differences,
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we all have one thing in common, right?
44
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A signed agreement with me
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to build and launch your websites,
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not on the tired, bloated, old web,
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but on the new Internet of the future.
48
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The Pipernet.
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Which is why, from this day forward,
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I'm going to be naming the eight of you...
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00:01:57,313 --> 00:01:58,896
the OctoPipers.
52
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,396
Until something better, TBD.
53
00:02:03,397 --> 00:02:04,688
So when can we tell people?
54
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,104
Soon! Actually, very soon.
55
00:02:06,105 --> 00:02:09,470
Uh, next Tuesday, Gavin Belson is, uh...
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00:02:09,689 --> 00:02:11,187
launching his Box Three.
57
00:02:11,188 --> 00:02:13,187
So, um, the day before,
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00:02:13,469 --> 00:02:16,562
we are going to announce our
partnerships with you all,
59
00:02:16,564 --> 00:02:18,062
and beat him to the punch.
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Shit. He's gonna be super pissed.
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MAN: He's really gonna come after us.
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Yeah, he is, but fuck him.
63
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Not butt fuck him.
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00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,354
- Just...
- You don't have to explain
65
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:29,396
that kinda stuff. I-I know what you mean.
66
00:02:29,397 --> 00:02:31,271
Yeah, I know. Look... look.
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00:02:31,272 --> 00:02:33,271
As long as we stick together,
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and support each other, we can crush him.
69
00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:37,854
Because what we are doing is amazing, okay?
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We are building the
world's first truly open,
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truly free de-centralized Internet.
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00:02:43,423 --> 00:02:46,604
And I tell you what, I got a
sneak preview for you guys, okay?
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00:02:46,605 --> 00:02:48,271
Because as of this morning,
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- messaging is live.
- What!
75
00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,174
- Cool.
- Yeah.
76
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Really? So cool!
77
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So...
78
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right now, I will send to you all
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00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,134
the very first message
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00:03:00,135 --> 00:03:03,926
ever to be sent on a de-centralized,
peer-to-peer Internet.
81
00:03:04,513 --> 00:03:06,221
- Ready?
- [PHONE CLICKING]
82
00:03:06,222 --> 00:03:07,679
[SENT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION]
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00:03:08,224 --> 00:03:09,424
- "Hit her."
- [PHONES DINGING]
84
00:03:09,681 --> 00:03:11,970
I don't get it. Are you talking about me?
85
00:03:11,971 --> 00:03:13,301
I meant to say "Hi there."
86
00:03:13,302 --> 00:03:15,517
Well, it definitely says "Hit her."
87
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- I'll try it again. There's a new one.
- [PHONE CLICKING]
88
00:03:17,351 --> 00:03:18,976
- There. "Hi there."
- [SENT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION]
89
00:03:18,977 --> 00:03:20,893
- "Hi there, Hitler."
- [PHONES DING]
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00:03:20,894 --> 00:03:22,019
[WHISPERS] Goddammit.
91
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,065
Hey, Richard?
92
00:03:24,226 --> 00:03:25,517
You don't have any issue with us
93
00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:27,919
being an exclusively gay site, do you?
94
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:28,920
What? No!
95
00:03:28,921 --> 00:03:30,585
No, it's... It's totally cool.
96
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,627
Oh! Wait a minute, no, I
don't mean you are anti-gay.
97
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I mean the opposite. Like, are you worried
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00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,043
that we're excluding straight people?
99
00:03:37,044 --> 00:03:38,293
Oh. I just remember you said,
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you want your new Internet
to be open for everybody,
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and, you know, I just want to make
sure we're jibing with your vision.
102
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Deedee, we are psyched to have you aboard.
103
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Exclude all the straight
people you want. [CHUCKLES]
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- You sure?
- Yep.
105
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- Because we're not snobs about it.
- [CHUCKLES]
106
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I mean, between you and me,
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I'm dreadfully boring.
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I might as well be straight myself.
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I've been with the same
man for seven years.
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I go to church every Sunday.
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00:03:59,544 --> 00:04:00,627
Look, it... it's all good.
112
00:04:00,628 --> 00:04:03,089
FirstSight is a gay dating site.
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And... and I will sing
it from the rooftops.
114
00:04:06,169 --> 00:04:07,377
Alright, well, thank you, Richard.
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00:04:07,378 --> 00:04:08,627
I think this is gonna be great.
116
00:04:08,628 --> 00:04:09,628
Cool.
117
00:04:11,286 --> 00:04:12,619
Yeah. Okay.
118
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- Don't be weird.
- I didn't know what we'd be doing.
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♪
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RICHARD: So...
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everybody is very psyched.
122
00:04:22,753 --> 00:04:24,835
You know who else is
psyched? I'll give you a hint.
123
00:04:24,836 --> 00:04:27,794
They have four thumbs, and
they are these two guys.
124
00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:29,960
- I am very excited.
- I am giddy!
125
00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:31,669
Okay, what... What happened?
126
00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,122
We found the mole.
127
00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:34,875
- What?
- Yeah.
128
00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:36,166
Who? How?
129
00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:37,740
Good old-fashioned police work.
130
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,042
I skimmed through all 40,000
of the staff's outgoing emails.
131
00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:42,585
- Yeah?
- And in addition to learning
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that we need to revise
the office dating policy,
133
00:04:44,794 --> 00:04:47,418
because it is, essentially,
the Olympic Village out there,
134
00:04:47,419 --> 00:04:49,501
I learned that someone has been sending
135
00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:51,084
a number of encrypted messages
136
00:04:51,085 --> 00:04:53,376
but using Gilfoyle's purloined NSA tools...
137
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,836
I can't hold this smile forever,
Jared. Get to the good stuff.
138
00:04:57,086 --> 00:04:59,209
One of our coders has been sending info
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00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:00,752
straight to Hooli High Command.
140
00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:04,876
RICHARD: Wow.
141
00:05:04,877 --> 00:05:07,418
How the fuck did the mole
get all this information?
142
00:05:07,419 --> 00:05:11,293
By exploiting our most glaring weakness.
143
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,418
[OFF-KEY] ♪ You were
working as a waitress ♪
144
00:05:13,419 --> 00:05:15,585
♪ In a cocktail bar ♪
145
00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:19,126
♪ When I met Jeff ♪
146
00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:21,168
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
147
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Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
148
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No, no, no. You guys have it all wrong.
149
00:05:31,918 --> 00:05:33,959
Okay? There's no way Jeff is the mole.
150
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,585
Okay? It's not Jeff.
151
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,293
- [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES]
- Right, Jeff?
152
00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,376
[CLANK]
153
00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:40,297
Jeff?
154
00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:42,877
What about Dave & Buster's, Jeff?
155
00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:46,042
What about that time I
got a bullseye in Skee-Ball
156
00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:47,209
and yelled out, "Bazinga!"
157
00:05:47,210 --> 00:05:48,835
And you said, "Okay."
158
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You can't fake enthusiasm like that.
159
00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:53,501
Well, I did.
160
00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:55,209
- [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES]
- JARED: You Judas.
161
00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:57,209
You cow-handed poltroon!
162
00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:59,001
We... We thought you were a Stallion!
163
00:05:59,002 --> 00:06:00,835
- You're no Stallion.
- [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES]
164
00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:02,501
What is it with you guys and stallions?
165
00:06:02,502 --> 00:06:04,668
What's with you being a rat fuck?
166
00:06:04,807 --> 00:06:07,835
You signed a very aggressive
Non-Disclosure Agreement...
167
00:06:07,836 --> 00:06:09,668
- [NAIL GUN DISCHARGES]
- which you are in breach of.
168
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:10,669
[NAIL GUN CONTINUES]
169
00:06:10,693 --> 00:06:12,667
Which means, we can fire you, obviously,
170
00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:16,001
and then have you arrested,
and thrown in jail.
171
00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:19,418
But Gavin would then know we are on to you,
172
00:06:19,419 --> 00:06:20,575
so here's the deal.
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00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,917
You're gonna come into
the office every day,
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00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:25,793
and sit down at your fucking workstation,
175
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and pretend like nothing's wrong.
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[SIGHS] Fine.
177
00:06:28,752 --> 00:06:29,876
[DISCHARGES]
178
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Uh, that was mine.
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00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:34,768
Bummer.
180
00:06:35,304 --> 00:06:38,042
"The irony is, the
Internet, which we all use
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00:06:38,043 --> 00:06:39,876
"to search for billions of things,
182
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:43,877
"has itself long been
searching for something.
183
00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:46,371
And here it is."
184
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:48,992
Okay, then I turn and gesture.
185
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,668
[SERENE MUSIC PLAYING]
186
00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:54,120
"The Box Three.
187
00:06:54,752 --> 00:06:56,793
Signature Edition."
188
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,215
Then I come back to the podium.
189
00:07:01,516 --> 00:07:03,139
"I put my name on this,
190
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,835
"because I personally stand behind
191
00:07:05,836 --> 00:07:07,432
"the new SAS-slash
192
00:07:07,457 --> 00:07:10,689
SSD-slash-NVMe
drive bays,
193
00:07:10,836 --> 00:07:13,042
"the 24-core processors.
194
00:07:13,043 --> 00:07:16,414
"I stand behind the ECC DDR4
195
00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:18,485
SD-RAM
LR-DIMMs
196
00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:21,218
"and their exceptional reliability.
197
00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:23,492
Will you stand with me?"
198
00:07:23,918 --> 00:07:25,586
[APPLAUSE]
199
00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:32,586
- [SETS BOTTLE DOWN]
- [SIGHS]
200
00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,501
About the spotlight, should it be wider?
201
00:07:37,502 --> 00:07:39,084
- I had the same thought.
- As did I.
202
00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,965
- I can speak with the technical team.
- Please.
203
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,751
Any word from our mole at Pied Piper?
204
00:07:43,752 --> 00:07:45,585
I'm confident that if there
were anything to report,
205
00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:47,084
we'd have heard about it by now, sir.
206
00:07:47,442 --> 00:07:48,501
Alright!
207
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,042
I'm off to Jackson Hole for a
couple of days to clear my mind,
208
00:07:51,043 --> 00:07:52,334
and center myself.
209
00:07:52,335 --> 00:07:54,835
I'll be off the grid. Not to
be disturbed for any reason.
210
00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:56,293
- Understood?
- SCOTT: Absolutely.
211
00:07:56,294 --> 00:07:58,428
Is there anything else you'd
like us to take care of? Oh.
212
00:07:58,452 --> 00:08:00,201
Oh. The bear is sticky with honey.
213
00:08:00,752 --> 00:08:01,752
See ya soon.
214
00:08:07,646 --> 00:08:10,572
"The bear is sticky with honey."
215
00:08:11,168 --> 00:08:12,454
What does he mean by that?
216
00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:13,973
I don't know.
217
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,110
Hello, Stallions.
218
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,495
You continue to be the best of the best.
219
00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:21,599
I commend you.
220
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,793
And then there's you.
221
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,001
The anti-Stallion.
222
00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:27,335
Move your hand off your fucking mouse, now.
223
00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:35,001
And I was going to take you
to see BattleBots live with me,
224
00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:37,043
but no longer... "friend."
225
00:08:37,335 --> 00:08:38,962
Now who looks stupid?
226
00:08:39,544 --> 00:08:40,710
♪
227
00:08:40,711 --> 00:08:42,334
Yeah, so, um...
228
00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:45,793
our new developers just
agreed to our terms,
229
00:08:45,794 --> 00:08:48,042
RICHARD [ON PHONE]: and
are now officially on board.
230
00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:50,886
Richard is a master at getting consent.
231
00:08:51,294 --> 00:08:53,334
That's great news, guys.
232
00:08:53,335 --> 00:08:54,668
Eight new partners.
233
00:08:54,669 --> 00:08:57,877
Yeah! Actually, we're
calling them the OctoPipers.
234
00:09:01,669 --> 00:09:03,543
Uh, until a better name comes along.
235
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,668
Just wanted to give that
one its day in court.
236
00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:08,126
Well, we have some more
good news for you, Richard.
237
00:09:08,127 --> 00:09:09,127
You remember last year,
238
00:09:09,128 --> 00:09:11,042
Laurie and I funded K-Hole Games?
239
00:09:11,043 --> 00:09:13,376
Largest independent gaming
company in the Valley?
240
00:09:13,377 --> 00:09:15,376
Uh, yeah, of course!
241
00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:18,042
Um, actually, now that
you... you bring them up,
242
00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:19,835
I-I didn't want to be too forward,
243
00:09:19,836 --> 00:09:21,710
but I was hoping that one day,
244
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:24,543
we could talk to them
about joining our 'net.
245
00:09:24,544 --> 00:09:26,835
Well, what if I told you that day is today?
246
00:09:26,836 --> 00:09:27,836
What?
247
00:09:27,837 --> 00:09:30,209
In addition to being business associates,
248
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:32,668
the CEO and I take medically prescribed
249
00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:34,543
and supervised MDMA together.
250
00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:37,084
I'm taking it for severe
post-partum depression.
251
00:09:37,085 --> 00:09:39,297
I do not know why he is taking it.
252
00:09:39,544 --> 00:09:41,751
Regardless, when I saw him yesterday,
253
00:09:41,752 --> 00:09:45,543
he was quite euphoric about
speaking to you regarding a deal.
254
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,209
K-Hole? The creators of the game
255
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:49,751
"Undead Sex Offender"?
They're... they're huge.
256
00:09:49,752 --> 00:09:53,418
Yeah! Yeah, partnering with a
company of that size this early
257
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,917
would put us months ahead.
258
00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,927
This is not a done deal.
259
00:09:57,127 --> 00:10:00,126
K-Hole is protective of its brand.
260
00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:01,585
They will want to speak to you
261
00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:03,334
regarding who else you are dealing with.
262
00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,334
Okay, right, well, um...
263
00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:07,293
why don't I just bring the OctoPipers?
264
00:10:07,294 --> 00:10:10,376
New name to come, though it's
pretty popular around here.
265
00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:13,484
Uh, they can talk to K-Hole.
266
00:10:13,836 --> 00:10:15,737
Tell them why they joined.
267
00:10:15,877 --> 00:10:18,159
Allowing you to speak less?
268
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,626
Good strategy. Alright.
269
00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:22,794
K-Hole will be expecting
you this afternoon.
270
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:25,377
Knock 'em dead, Richard.
271
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,794
Whatever you are doing, stop it now.
272
00:10:31,294 --> 00:10:34,298
Um, yeah. We're just... high-fiving.
273
00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:35,626
Bye.
274
00:10:35,627 --> 00:10:37,126
K-Hole. I can't believe it!
275
00:10:37,127 --> 00:10:39,167
I'm bursting. I'm bursting!
276
00:10:39,168 --> 00:10:41,209
Um, here, I printed driving directions.
277
00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:42,959
- Oh, it's okay, I got my phone.
- [CAR REVVING]
278
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,126
Well, I have marked available
bathrooms along the route.
279
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:48,834
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
280
00:10:49,877 --> 00:10:51,543
Okay, here we go.
281
00:10:51,544 --> 00:10:54,724
Richard, you never return my calls.
282
00:10:54,897 --> 00:10:57,126
You mean the hundreds
of voicemails you've left
283
00:10:57,127 --> 00:11:00,366
where you just called me a
terrible CEO with no dick?
284
00:11:00,669 --> 00:11:02,751
Yes! You're talking to other companies.
285
00:11:02,752 --> 00:11:05,251
[SHUSHES] That is not public information.
286
00:11:05,252 --> 00:11:07,376
JIAN-YANG: I'm a part owner in Pied Piper.
287
00:11:07,377 --> 00:11:10,293
You need to make a deal with my companies.
288
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,835
You mean your incubator's
spurious knock-offs
289
00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:15,042
of legitimate American businesses?
290
00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:18,334
"New Expedia," "New
Snapchat," "New Zillow"?
291
00:11:18,335 --> 00:11:20,170
But they're for Chinese market.
292
00:11:20,752 --> 00:11:23,001
It's a very sophisticated strategy.
293
00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:25,167
Okay, look, taking existing companies
294
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:28,543
and just calling them "new"
isn't sophisticated. That's theft.
295
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,192
You make a new Internet.
296
00:11:30,377 --> 00:11:32,293
[STAMMERING]
297
00:11:32,294 --> 00:11:33,626
That is different.
298
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,293
I... Look, we're not gonna make any deals
299
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,980
with any of your companies, okay?
300
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,835
[PHONE VIBRATES]
301
00:11:40,836 --> 00:11:41,985
Don't pick up.
302
00:11:45,002 --> 00:11:46,995
Richard, hello.
303
00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:48,542
It's Jian-Yang.
304
00:11:48,669 --> 00:11:51,547
You are a shitty CEO.
305
00:11:53,877 --> 00:11:56,936
As long as I own 10% of Pied Piper,
306
00:11:57,627 --> 00:11:59,251
I will make chaos.
307
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:01,059
Okay.
308
00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:03,959
I thought you hated that car.
309
00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:06,501
Aviato car smells like a dead pig.
310
00:12:06,502 --> 00:12:09,877
You're aware that Russ Hanneman
urinated in that car, no?
311
00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:12,209
This car?
312
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:13,210
Mm-hmm.
313
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,819
Uh...
314
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,984
- are you just gonna leave it here?
- Yes.
315
00:12:19,985 --> 00:12:20,985
Well...
316
00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:23,484
looks like I have a reason to find
317
00:12:23,485 --> 00:12:25,270
Pied Piper's official towing company.
318
00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:26,544
I'm gonna get some bids.
319
00:12:26,569 --> 00:12:27,799
Yeah, while you're at it,
320
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,175
see if you can find someone
to bash that guy's face in.
321
00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:33,300
Uh, I-I can do some research.
322
00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:34,967
[PHONE VIBRATES]
323
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,395
Maybe turn your phone
off during the meeting.
324
00:12:41,509 --> 00:12:43,341
[YELLING] You're a shitty CEO!
325
00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:46,009
- [SCREAMING]
- [GUNFIRE]
326
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:49,425
[VIOLENT NOISES CONTINUE]
327
00:12:49,426 --> 00:12:51,467
RICHARD: Thanks again,
Colin, for having us.
328
00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:53,216
Uh, the fact that a company like yours
329
00:12:53,217 --> 00:12:55,841
with such a pristine reputation
it sitting down with us
330
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:57,633
is, honestly, incredibly flattering.
331
00:12:57,779 --> 00:12:58,799
It's cool.
332
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,258
- [MAN SHOUTING IN GAME]
- Ooh, wow.
333
00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:02,717
- That'll be a closed casket.
- Yeah.
334
00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:04,216
Alright, well, we thought the best way
335
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,176
to introduce the Pipernet
336
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:07,341
would be through the eight developers
337
00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:08,552
that have already signed on.
338
00:13:08,577 --> 00:13:10,634
Who we are calling the OctoPipers.
339
00:13:12,069 --> 00:13:13,069
That's dumb.
340
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:16,152
Um, anyway, let's
introduce you to the group.
341
00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:18,945
Um, we've got a great analytics tool
342
00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:20,736
by a former Google guru.
343
00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:22,569
- Wish I'd have thought of that one.
- Cool.
344
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:25,319
Uh, music streaming with
an AI taste predictor
345
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,766
that is off the charts.
346
00:13:26,987 --> 00:13:27,987
Good space.
347
00:13:27,988 --> 00:13:30,486
Yes, and this handsome devil over here,
348
00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:32,959
is creating a very
promising gay dating site.
349
00:13:33,171 --> 00:13:34,178
That's cool.
350
00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:36,152
Yeah, but don't worry,
he's not snobby about it.
351
00:13:36,153 --> 00:13:37,444
He's actually pretty boring.
352
00:13:37,445 --> 00:13:39,319
I don't mean that as an
insult. Those are his words.
353
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,528
Long-term relationship.
Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink.
354
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,841
And him and his man go
to church every Sunday.
355
00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:45,070
So...
356
00:13:45,862 --> 00:13:47,766
loves Bible studies, right?
357
00:13:48,024 --> 00:13:50,398
Just a straight-up boring, ordinary guy,
358
00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:51,720
but obviously not straight.
359
00:13:52,035 --> 00:13:55,192
Very gay, and also a Christian, right?
360
00:13:56,399 --> 00:13:58,273
RICHARD: Okay, so, that went well.
361
00:13:58,274 --> 00:14:00,702
It started out a little weird,
but things really picked up...
362
00:14:00,727 --> 00:14:01,678
Why did you do that?
363
00:14:01,703 --> 00:14:03,565
- Why did you say that?
- Say what?
364
00:14:03,566 --> 00:14:05,565
Richard, you just told a
room full of tech people
365
00:14:05,566 --> 00:14:06,898
that I'm a [WHISPERS] Christian.
366
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:08,371
Oh.
367
00:14:08,396 --> 00:14:10,273
Okay, but... But you are, aren't you?
368
00:14:10,274 --> 00:14:12,607
[WHISPERS] Yes, but I told
you that in confidence.
369
00:14:12,608 --> 00:14:14,066
I said "between you and me."
370
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,527
I'm not openly Christian.
371
00:14:17,254 --> 00:14:18,752
[SIGHS] Thanks a lot, man.
372
00:14:18,753 --> 00:14:19,794
You just outed me.
373
00:14:19,795 --> 00:14:21,684
Oh, I'm sorry, Deedee. I didn't...
374
00:14:22,253 --> 00:14:25,252
Okay, um, should we hug?
375
00:14:25,253 --> 00:14:27,128
I can not make it weird this time.
376
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:31,836
I'm... I'm sorry, Richard.
377
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,669
You know that my default position
378
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:35,793
is blind support of whatever you do, but...
379
00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:38,127
this was not your best moment.
380
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,252
Guys, it can't be that
big of a deal, right?
381
00:14:40,253 --> 00:14:41,502
Why should it be?
382
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:43,011
America loves Christians.
383
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,243
Muslims are the enemy.
384
00:14:44,378 --> 00:14:46,127
Well, that's true in most of America,
385
00:14:46,128 --> 00:14:48,490
but not in Silicon Valley, sadly.
386
00:14:48,712 --> 00:14:51,544
"Sadly"? You can be openly polyamorous.
387
00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:53,669
And people here will call you brave.
388
00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:56,961
You can put micro-doses
of LSD in your cereal,
389
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,669
and... and people will call you a pioneer.
390
00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:02,293
But the one thing you
cannot be is a Christian.
391
00:15:02,294 --> 00:15:04,335
I find their theology to be illegitimate,
392
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,585
and it's clear that they are the source
393
00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:08,627
of the majority of the world's problems.
394
00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:10,369
But, fuck, Richard, even I wouldn't just...
395
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,669
out a Christian like that.
396
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,460
Yeah, it was kinda fucked up.
397
00:15:15,191 --> 00:15:16,727
Cool man, thanks.
398
00:15:17,545 --> 00:15:20,210
[SOFTLY] Hey, I thought he
wasn't supposed to chime in.
399
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,675
Yeah, he's not, but...
400
00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,043
based on its merits, I'll allow that one.
401
00:15:25,044 --> 00:15:27,419
Guys, [STAMMERS] come on.
402
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:28,743
It can't be that bad.
403
00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:29,850
Richard!
404
00:15:30,035 --> 00:15:32,285
What the fuck did you do over there?
405
00:15:32,286 --> 00:15:35,577
So I just got off the phone
with Colin over at K-Hole,
406
00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:37,118
and while he loves your tech,
407
00:15:37,119 --> 00:15:38,909
he's considering blowing up the deal.
408
00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:39,910
What?
409
00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:41,909
Just because one of my CEOs is Christian?
410
00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,743
It freaks people out in the Valley!
411
00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:46,361
Okay, so what do you want me to do, Monica?
412
00:15:46,386 --> 00:15:48,713
You want me to drop Deedee
just because he's Christian?
413
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:50,952
The company's not Christian. It's gay...
414
00:15:51,728 --> 00:15:52,935
which is fine, right?
415
00:15:52,936 --> 00:15:54,810
Yeah! No, that... That plays great.
416
00:15:54,811 --> 00:15:57,769
Look, cutting all ties
to Deedee and FirstSight
417
00:15:57,770 --> 00:16:00,166
will definitely send a
strong message to Colin.
418
00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:01,643
And it might be the only way.
419
00:16:01,644 --> 00:16:04,143
Like killing somebody to
prove you're not a narc,
420
00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:06,143
or showing a john your genitals
421
00:16:06,144 --> 00:16:08,019
to prove you're a
legitimate male prostitute
422
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,185
and not an undercover cop.
423
00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,715
- What?
- Because cops aren't allowed to do that.
424
00:16:11,769 --> 00:16:13,351
And worst case scenario,
425
00:16:13,352 --> 00:16:15,185
- the john walks off with a free peek.
- [PHONE VIBRATING]
426
00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:17,644
Oh, that's the towing company. Excuse me.
427
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,121
[GROANS] Forget it.
428
00:16:20,122 --> 00:16:21,663
Monica, I'm not doing it.
429
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:23,871
I mean, I'm not dropping him.
430
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,704
Alright. Fine.
431
00:16:25,706 --> 00:16:27,622
Fine. I-I will call Colin,
432
00:16:27,623 --> 00:16:29,413
and try and smooth things over for you,
433
00:16:29,414 --> 00:16:31,121
but you need to handle Deedee.
434
00:16:31,122 --> 00:16:33,497
Okay, apologize for outing him, of course,
435
00:16:33,498 --> 00:16:36,330
but you need to make sure
he keeps quiet about this.
436
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,371
Alright, 'cause it's not
just about losing K-Hole,
437
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,747
it's way worse than that.
438
00:16:39,905 --> 00:16:40,996
Let's put it this way.
439
00:16:40,997 --> 00:16:42,996
Would you want to go from being a rock band
440
00:16:42,997 --> 00:16:46,581
to being... [WHISPERS]
a Christian rock band?
441
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:48,755
Oh, shit.
442
00:16:49,255 --> 00:16:52,001
"The bear is sticky with honey."
443
00:16:52,621 --> 00:16:54,330
Those were his exact words.
444
00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:55,538
But what does that mean?
445
00:16:55,539 --> 00:16:57,246
Well, Gavin speaks in parables.
446
00:16:57,247 --> 00:16:59,284
I think what Gavin is saying is...
447
00:16:59,914 --> 00:17:01,455
"consider the bear."
448
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,926
And all this pizazz is like the honey.
449
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,781
And it's become too sticky.
450
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,875
There's too much of it. It's all over him.
451
00:17:07,876 --> 00:17:10,479
Incorrect. No, see, the
whole launch is the bear,
452
00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:12,541
and the honey is the pizazz.
453
00:17:12,542 --> 00:17:14,179
The bear needs more pizazz.
454
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,846
The bear is ravenous for pizazz.
455
00:17:16,847 --> 00:17:18,179
You don't speak for Gavin.
456
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,604
I don't need to. This is the word of Gavin.
457
00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:22,045
Alright, forget it.
458
00:17:22,194 --> 00:17:24,233
- You do it your way, I'll do it mine.
- Okay, fine.
459
00:17:24,257 --> 00:17:26,355
Gonna show you. Make
it clear for all of you.
460
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,380
Okay, follow me.
461
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,673
JARED: Well, congratulations on becoming
462
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,711
Pied Piper's official towing company.
463
00:17:31,841 --> 00:17:33,290
Uh-huh, yeah, great.
464
00:17:33,507 --> 00:17:34,631
So should I bill this to you,
465
00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:37,047
or is Mr. Bighetti gonna take care of it?
466
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,880
"Bighetti"? It's registered under his name.
467
00:17:39,882 --> 00:17:40,992
I'm sorry. Can I...?
468
00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:47,006
♪
469
00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:48,769
RICHARD: Anyway, it was a mistake.
470
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,102
I'm sorry I outed you.
471
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,728
I just wish we could go back to normal.
472
00:17:51,729 --> 00:17:54,102
You know, just like, how things were.
473
00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:55,691
A CEO and a gay CEO.
474
00:17:55,918 --> 00:17:57,872
I don't even know what
normal is anymore, Richard.
475
00:17:57,896 --> 00:18:00,020
It's been such a crazy 24 hours, you know?
476
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,513
Gossip travels so fast in the Valley.
477
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,494
I'll be lucky if my parents
ever talk to me again.
478
00:18:04,495 --> 00:18:05,796
Your parents aren't Christian?
479
00:18:06,037 --> 00:18:07,286
I'm from Palo Alto.
480
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,662
You know, my dad says my
lifestyle makes him sick.
481
00:18:10,287 --> 00:18:11,787
He just wants his gay son back.
482
00:18:11,788 --> 00:18:13,912
And he's okay with the gay part?
483
00:18:13,913 --> 00:18:15,426
- He's gay.
- Oh.
484
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,759
But the crazy part is,
485
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,168
when I finally got home and I got in bed,
486
00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:22,009
I had the soundest sleep I've had in years.
487
00:18:22,328 --> 00:18:25,001
- Exhaustion.
- No! Relief, Richard.
488
00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:26,502
I'm out, okay?
489
00:18:26,503 --> 00:18:27,710
My nightmare's over.
490
00:18:27,711 --> 00:18:29,799
I don't ever have to go
back in the closet again,
491
00:18:29,824 --> 00:18:32,169
and I've got you to thank for it.
492
00:18:34,169 --> 00:18:35,169
Check it out.
493
00:18:35,193 --> 00:18:36,585
_
494
00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:38,502
Oh, oh, oh.
495
00:18:38,503 --> 00:18:39,558
You like it?
496
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:42,919
It's good. I guess... maybe
it's just a little busy?
497
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,960
Like, um, there's one word too many.
498
00:18:44,961 --> 00:18:47,335
One word? Well, I like the gay part.
499
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:48,835
If anything, it could be more gay.
500
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,543
You should gay it up,
501
00:18:50,544 --> 00:18:52,618
and then, I like the "proud" part.
502
00:18:52,961 --> 00:18:54,549
[GULPS] It's just the...
503
00:18:54,972 --> 00:18:56,001
Christian part.
504
00:18:56,347 --> 00:18:58,418
Look, Richard, this is great,
505
00:18:58,419 --> 00:19:01,502
because now I can be gay and a Christian.
506
00:19:01,503 --> 00:19:02,731
Or just be gay!
507
00:19:03,294 --> 00:19:05,210
You know, you could be a... a twink.
508
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,377
A bear, an otter.
509
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,418
A circuit queen, a chub, a pup.
510
00:19:08,419 --> 00:19:10,043
A gipster, a daddy chaser,
511
00:19:10,044 --> 00:19:11,502
a leatherman, a lady boy.
512
00:19:11,503 --> 00:19:12,752
You could be a Donald Duck,
513
00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:14,794
which is a gay guy who
got kicked out of the Navy.
514
00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:16,001
Yeah, I... I know what it is.
515
00:19:16,002 --> 00:19:17,402
How do you know so many gay things?
516
00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:19,544
I worked with a guy.
517
00:19:21,211 --> 00:19:22,211
Just...
518
00:19:22,753 --> 00:19:23,915
don't be a Christian.
519
00:19:24,278 --> 00:19:25,451
[SCOFFS] Wow.
520
00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:27,210
After all you put me through,
521
00:19:27,211 --> 00:19:28,919
it turns out, you're biased too.
522
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,477
No! No, no, no! I'm not!
523
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,691
I swear to you I'm not. I'm chill AF.
524
00:19:33,086 --> 00:19:34,293
It's just everybody else.
525
00:19:34,294 --> 00:19:37,585
Look, if you go Christian,
I lose K-Hole games.
526
00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:39,960
I cannot let that happen. I know it sucks.
527
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,710
It's shitty, but it's the truth.
528
00:19:41,711 --> 00:19:43,508
I'm gonna make things
easy for you, Richard.
529
00:19:44,298 --> 00:19:45,379
I'm out.
530
00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:48,082
- Of the closet?
- No!
531
00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:49,702
The new Internet!
532
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,085
The Internet you said was
gonna be... What was it?
533
00:19:52,086 --> 00:19:54,627
"The first truly free and open Internet."
534
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,919
Open for everyone.
535
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,293
Whatever happened to that, huh?
536
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:58,752
♪
537
00:19:58,753 --> 00:19:59,948
Nice place.
538
00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:01,564
Oh, thanks, yeah.
539
00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:03,798
Oh, wow! That's a nice touch.
540
00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:05,335
BIG HEAD: Yeah, thanks!
541
00:20:05,336 --> 00:20:07,919
The Monterey Bay Aquarium
was testing their sonar,
542
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,054
and found this thing, like,
two miles under the ocean.
543
00:20:11,262 --> 00:20:13,293
And I figure, Erlich
and I already bought it,
544
00:20:13,294 --> 00:20:14,835
so I might as well hold onto it.
545
00:20:14,836 --> 00:20:16,752
Plus, it weighs like 8,000 pounds,
546
00:20:16,753 --> 00:20:18,460
so I couldn't move it if I wanted to.
547
00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:20,626
Well, and it also kinda
works as your mascot.
548
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,166
Right? 'Cause of your name?
549
00:20:22,294 --> 00:20:24,002
Oh, yeah, 'cause "Nelson."
550
00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:26,776
Oh, I meant because it's a big head.
551
00:20:28,005 --> 00:20:29,739
I guess that works, too.
552
00:20:30,753 --> 00:20:31,963
So, what's up, man?
553
00:20:32,086 --> 00:20:34,377
Um, well, I wanted to ask you...
554
00:20:34,378 --> 00:20:36,051
Oh! Big Head!
555
00:20:36,378 --> 00:20:38,165
[CHUCKLES] Now I get it.
556
00:20:38,419 --> 00:20:40,293
Sorry. Is... is it possible
557
00:20:40,294 --> 00:20:42,960
that the general partnership
that you formed with Erlich
558
00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:44,251
is still in effect?
559
00:20:44,252 --> 00:20:45,817
Oh. No way.
560
00:20:46,127 --> 00:20:47,902
You definitely dissolved it?
561
00:20:47,903 --> 00:20:49,319
Yeah, my dad insisted.
562
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,235
I remember he filled out
this whole form for me,
563
00:20:52,236 --> 00:20:53,360
and made me sign it,
564
00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:54,819
mail it in and everything.
565
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,902
Yeah, 'cause I... I remember
I had the paperwork in one hand,
566
00:20:57,903 --> 00:21:00,103
and the menu for Mr. Chow's in the other.
567
00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,170
And then...
568
00:21:05,653 --> 00:21:07,943
[PAPERS RUSTLING]
569
00:21:07,944 --> 00:21:09,320
♪
570
00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:15,027
Oh, no way!
571
00:21:15,646 --> 00:21:16,652
Still have the paperwork.
572
00:21:16,653 --> 00:21:18,777
Guess I must have sent the menu.
573
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,027
Big Head, this is great news.
574
00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:22,193
SCOTT: Gavin?
575
00:21:22,194 --> 00:21:23,861
I think you're really
going to love the changes
576
00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:25,319
that my team has made to the presentation.
577
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,637
I think you might like ours even better.
578
00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:29,611
Sorry, what changes?
579
00:21:29,612 --> 00:21:30,861
We are presenting two paths,
580
00:21:30,862 --> 00:21:33,110
and you alone will decide
which one we walk, Gavin.
581
00:21:33,111 --> 00:21:34,611
What the fuck are you talking about?
582
00:21:34,612 --> 00:21:36,444
I thought the presentation
was fine as it is.
583
00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:38,777
- Wait. What?
- You did?
584
00:21:38,968 --> 00:21:40,218
Goddammit!
585
00:21:40,737 --> 00:21:42,027
Why is this still here?
586
00:21:42,028 --> 00:21:43,861
I said it was too sticky.
587
00:21:43,862 --> 00:21:46,027
Don't you listen to anything I say?
588
00:21:46,028 --> 00:21:47,110
[SETS BEAR DOWN]
589
00:21:47,111 --> 00:21:49,110
- The bear...
- Sticky with honey.
590
00:21:49,587 --> 00:21:50,902
So what did you change?
591
00:21:51,134 --> 00:21:52,485
Uh, the spotlight.
592
00:21:52,486 --> 00:21:54,861
Yes! We're making it
wider just like you asked.
593
00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:56,061
Good.
594
00:21:56,062 --> 00:21:58,228
You know what? Let's show
you to your dressing room.
595
00:21:58,229 --> 00:21:59,936
Yeah. And whenever you're
ready, you let us know,
596
00:21:59,937 --> 00:22:01,374
we'll show you that spotlight, huh?
597
00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:03,395
- You're gonna love it.
- SARAH: We did it!
598
00:22:03,396 --> 00:22:05,727
We had to fly him in from
Tucson, but we got the bear.
599
00:22:05,728 --> 00:22:08,437
[BEAR GROWLING]
600
00:22:10,281 --> 00:22:12,186
Gavin hates the bear. You failed!
601
00:22:12,453 --> 00:22:14,040
Put everything back the way it was.
602
00:22:14,244 --> 00:22:15,728
And widen the spotlight!
603
00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:17,962
Guess what, asshole.
604
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:19,869
Leon told me he wanted your ticket,
605
00:22:19,870 --> 00:22:22,912
'cause he wants to go
see BattleBots with me.
606
00:22:24,203 --> 00:22:26,494
But then he remembered he
actually had plans that night
607
00:22:26,495 --> 00:22:28,827
with a bunch of people,
doesn't know what they're doing,
608
00:22:28,828 --> 00:22:29,869
their plans are sort of fluid,
609
00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:31,911
plus, it's like friends from his old work,
610
00:22:31,912 --> 00:22:33,703
so it'd be weird if I hung out with them.
611
00:22:34,745 --> 00:22:35,856
Anyway...
612
00:22:36,244 --> 00:22:39,535
looks like you and I are
going to see BattleBots.
613
00:22:39,536 --> 00:22:40,952
You're going to hang out with me,
614
00:22:40,953 --> 00:22:42,744
and have fun, whether you like it or not.
615
00:22:42,745 --> 00:22:45,017
And what goes best with BattleBots?
616
00:22:45,745 --> 00:22:47,474
That's right. Chicken wings.
617
00:22:47,994 --> 00:22:51,862
That's why you get a sweet $50
gift card to Dave & Buster's.
618
00:22:52,575 --> 00:22:54,869
Serves you right for fucking us over.
619
00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:56,244
Wash your fucking hair.
620
00:22:57,953 --> 00:23:00,272
And you know what happens
when I get drunk, Jeff?
621
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,826
I get so sincere.
622
00:23:03,286 --> 00:23:04,612
It's really awkward.
623
00:23:04,870 --> 00:23:06,324
Fuck you, Jeff.
624
00:23:06,495 --> 00:23:07,869
Oh, um, can you drive?
625
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,869
♪
626
00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:12,452
Well, I spoke to La Flamme,
627
00:23:12,453 --> 00:23:13,474
and it's official.
628
00:23:13,662 --> 00:23:16,306
Big Head is still legally
Erlich's next of kin.
629
00:23:16,411 --> 00:23:18,449
So Jian-Yang's whole gambit was for naught.
630
00:23:19,411 --> 00:23:20,619
Wow, really?
631
00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:23,327
Big Head owns Erlich's
house, and 10% of Pied Piper.
632
00:23:23,328 --> 00:23:26,035
I called the sheriff and
started eviction proceedings.
633
00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:27,666
We're gonna get everything back.
634
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:31,667
Oh, also, the, uh, OctoPipers
are arriving for the meeting.
635
00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:34,165
It's a good thing that
FirstSight dropped out, right?
636
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:35,916
'Cause we're back down to eight developers,
637
00:23:35,917 --> 00:23:37,415
so you can keep that name.
638
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,588
Actually, uh, no, we can't.
639
00:23:41,059 --> 00:23:42,169
Wait, what?
640
00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:44,680
- I'm glad this worked out.
- Yeah.
641
00:23:44,834 --> 00:23:46,162
Thanks for dropping FirstSight.
642
00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:48,582
Jesus, my board would
have nailed me to a cross.
643
00:23:48,583 --> 00:23:51,863
Well, I think we're just about
ready to get going here, uh...
644
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:53,499
Oh. Hey!
645
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,487
Oh, good, there he is.
What's he doing here?
646
00:23:55,629 --> 00:23:59,557
He is here because I asked him to be.
647
00:24:00,143 --> 00:24:02,187
I want him to be one of our developers.
648
00:24:02,188 --> 00:24:04,170
What? No! Fuck that guy!
649
00:24:04,374 --> 00:24:05,595
Hey, man, how's it goin'?
650
00:24:05,981 --> 00:24:07,397
- Richard.
- Deedee.
651
00:24:07,398 --> 00:24:08,689
- [WHISPERS] Can I talk to you?
- Yeah!
652
00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:10,137
No, no, no. Actually, look!
653
00:24:10,356 --> 00:24:11,716
Look, guys, I...
654
00:24:12,189 --> 00:24:14,855
I asked you to be a part of this
655
00:24:14,856 --> 00:24:18,087
because I thought you were
willing to take a chance
656
00:24:18,356 --> 00:24:19,744
on my idea.
657
00:24:19,745 --> 00:24:21,619
An entirely new Internet.
658
00:24:21,620 --> 00:24:23,577
An Internet that is everything
659
00:24:23,578 --> 00:24:26,263
the old Internet is
supposed to be, but isn't.
660
00:24:26,411 --> 00:24:28,744
Truly free and truly open.
661
00:24:28,745 --> 00:24:30,327
Well, I'm sorry, gang.
662
00:24:30,907 --> 00:24:33,278
Truly open means "open to everyone."
663
00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:36,410
No matter how repugnant their views are.
664
00:24:36,411 --> 00:24:38,327
How ignorant or stupid,
665
00:24:38,328 --> 00:24:40,535
or, to be honest, totally fucking wrong.
666
00:24:40,536 --> 00:24:42,493
And, look, who are we to judge, right?
667
00:24:42,494 --> 00:24:43,951
There's some people out there that believe
668
00:24:43,952 --> 00:24:45,951
that we're living in a computer simulation.
669
00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:47,994
Well, that is supported by the evidence.
670
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:50,077
What?
671
00:24:50,078 --> 00:24:52,243
Uh, it's basic probability theory.
672
00:24:52,244 --> 00:24:54,586
Right, uh, Richard, can I
talk to you for just a sec?
673
00:24:54,611 --> 00:24:55,664
Yes, of course.
674
00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:59,201
Uh, that's bullshit actually.
675
00:24:59,202 --> 00:25:00,285
It's been disproven.
676
00:25:00,286 --> 00:25:01,619
But why does that even matter?
677
00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:03,869
In a few years, we'll
all be working for robots.
678
00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:05,327
No, that's stupid.
679
00:25:05,328 --> 00:25:06,660
The robots will be working for us.
680
00:25:06,661 --> 00:25:08,493
Robots? Who gives a fuck about robots?
681
00:25:08,494 --> 00:25:10,910
It's the artificial super intelligence
we should be worried about.
682
00:25:10,911 --> 00:25:12,493
Exactly, and that's why we have to stop it.
683
00:25:12,494 --> 00:25:14,660
Stop it? No, that's the
us I'm talking about.
684
00:25:14,661 --> 00:25:16,535
We have to bring it into existence.
685
00:25:16,536 --> 00:25:19,410
Otherwise, it'll find out who didn't
believe in it, and punish them.
686
00:25:19,411 --> 00:25:21,029
- CLARK: Right.
- Guys, I was wrong.
687
00:25:21,661 --> 00:25:23,860
Um, Deedee is...
688
00:25:24,202 --> 00:25:27,410
not in. He's actually very much out.
689
00:25:27,411 --> 00:25:28,456
So...
690
00:25:28,745 --> 00:25:30,588
do-over on the whole speech.
691
00:25:31,286 --> 00:25:32,660
Fuck that guy!
692
00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:34,035
Christians suck!
693
00:25:34,036 --> 00:25:36,869
And, uh, here's a good side effect though.
694
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:38,911
Uh, we all get to keep the name OctoPipers.
695
00:25:41,637 --> 00:25:44,365
You know what? Why don't
we just take a quick five?
696
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:46,744
[CLEARS THROAT] And then, we'll BRB,
697
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:48,452
and then, go teams.
698
00:25:48,453 --> 00:25:50,453
So just... let's have a...
699
00:25:54,077 --> 00:25:55,577
What just happened?
700
00:25:55,578 --> 00:25:56,857
Deedee's out?
701
00:25:57,578 --> 00:25:59,452
Yeah, well, he said
702
00:25:59,453 --> 00:26:01,910
that right after he bailed on us,
703
00:26:01,911 --> 00:26:05,076
he went out and made a
deal with our competitor.
704
00:26:05,354 --> 00:26:09,077
- But we don't have any competitors.
- Richard?
705
00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:13,201
RICHARD: Fuckin' Jian-Yang.
706
00:26:13,202 --> 00:26:15,410
I'm gonna tear him a new asshole.
707
00:26:15,411 --> 00:26:18,368
It wasn't enough to do New
Snapchat or New Expedia,
708
00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:20,243
he had to do New Pied Piper too?
709
00:26:20,244 --> 00:26:21,702
Where did he get our code?
710
00:26:21,703 --> 00:26:23,619
He was always stealing
snacks from the office.
711
00:26:23,620 --> 00:26:25,327
He could've lifted it from anywhere.
712
00:26:25,328 --> 00:26:27,614
I guess that's what happened
to my lavender cheese.
713
00:26:27,745 --> 00:26:29,745
- [POUNDING ON DOOR]
- RICHARD: Jian-Yang! Open up!
714
00:26:35,411 --> 00:26:36,744
GILFOYLE: What the fuck?
715
00:26:36,745 --> 00:26:39,445
Why does every home I've
ever loved get stripped?
716
00:26:40,703 --> 00:26:43,116
Is that Erlich in the bucket?
717
00:26:43,286 --> 00:26:45,286
♪
718
00:26:50,453 --> 00:26:51,619
Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
719
00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:52,624
"Richard...
720
00:26:52,952 --> 00:26:56,771
"Hello, I went to China
to do new new Internet.
721
00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:01,639
"Thank you. Enjoy your house.
722
00:27:02,202 --> 00:27:03,348
"I love you.
723
00:27:04,093 --> 00:27:05,167
Jian-Yang."
724
00:27:11,494 --> 00:27:14,620
[CHINESE HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
725
00:28:20,870 --> 00:28:22,076
I'm here with Pied Piper
CEO Richard Hendricks,
726
00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,035
and newly minted COO Jared Dunn.
727
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:26,076
Tell me what your new internet is,
728
00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:28,369
and why Gavin Belson
should be afraid of it.
729
00:28:29,036 --> 00:28:30,745
- Manure?
- INTERVIEWER: Pardon?
730
00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:32,202
♪ [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS] ♪
731
00:28:32,453 --> 00:28:34,660
HOOVER: Sir, I had no idea
they were this far along.
732
00:28:34,661 --> 00:28:35,703
You must be furious.
733
00:28:36,077 --> 00:28:37,202
That's the thing.
734
00:28:38,161 --> 00:28:39,161
I'm not.
735
00:28:40,369 --> 00:28:42,869
So, we're just giving a random company
736
00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:44,951
a bunch of free compute
power on our network?
737
00:28:44,952 --> 00:28:46,577
Some company called Eklow.
738
00:28:46,578 --> 00:28:47,702
BERTRAM GILFOYLE: The AI company?
739
00:28:47,703 --> 00:28:50,035
Follow me, I'll introduce you to her.
740
00:28:50,036 --> 00:28:51,077
Sorry... Her?
741
00:28:52,077 --> 00:28:53,077
Fiona.
742
00:28:54,077 --> 00:28:56,244
- Good morning.
- Isn't she pretty?
743
00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:59,160
- ♪ [MUSIC STOPS] ♪
- [ROBOT WHIRRING]
744
00:28:59,161 --> 00:29:00,410
Yeah, sure. Yep.
745
00:29:00,411 --> 00:29:02,870
♪ [MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪53838
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