Original subtitles

Well look,, II know he was having some financial troubles.

You do? Yeah.

He went completely upside down on this real estate investment.

So, a lotta lyings been going on for a lotta years.

And just about money.

There was a woman.

Hey sonny.

Well you gonna let me in or what?

I don't think that this whole thing is working.

I have to go.

We broke up.

I've been thinking about this whole thing with haddie.

What I'm fling now

isn't what I was feeling with her.

Thanks.

Hmm.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Steve, g up.

Get up. Put your clothes on.

Oh, my God.

I don't understand. What's wrong?

If you tell anybody about this, I will kill you.

Do you understand? I will kill you.

Amber, what is wrong? What do you think is wrong?

You're, you're haddie's boyfriend.

I'm not haddie's boyfriend. She dumped me.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

I'm her cousin. I can't believe I did this.

It's okay. No, it's not okay.

Look, can't we just talk about this?

No, we cannot talk about it.

We can't talk about anything,

because there's no "we," okay?

Last night...

I know you felt it too.

It doesn't matter. I can't do this.

This, this was a mistake.

I can't, I can't do this with you.

Amber.

Don't move your glass. Keep your glass still.

Haddie. Put that away for me.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mom!

Excuse me.

Morning, grandpa.

Excuse me.

Dad.

Morning, dad.

Coffee. Do you want some fruit?

You sleep all right?

Oh, there was this chirping in my head all night.

Oh, that-- those were my crickets.

Really? Yep.

That's an interesting pet.

Did you just put the milk away?

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, man, what the heck is this stuff?

It's hazelnut.

Hazelnut? Yeah, it's good.

Geez.

I can get you something else.

So where are you going?

Uh, I'm gonna go to the corner.

I'm gonna get some coffee and some doughnuts.

Doughnuts? I want doughnuts.

No. Max, you can't have doughnuts.

He gets to have doughnuts and I don't?

Max. Max.

That's not fair. Here, have some fruit.

Because I get doughnuts- Max, shut up.

We heard you say that. We heard you.

Why don't you eat some fruit. Why does he get doughnuts?

I don't get doughnuts! Max.

So grandma and grandpa had a fight,

you know, like people do. It's not a big deal.

Well, like, what kind of fight?

I don't know, honey.

But, uh, grandpa's gonna stay with Uncle Adam

for a couple of days.

What happened? I don't understand.

I don't know.

Let's just be extra, super nice to grandma, okay?

Do you want a real done one or a not done one?

I-- just choose, I don't care.

Here. Take one of each. Hi, honey.

You're home early.

Yeah, well, you know, Kayla was snoring,

so I couldn't, I couldn't sleep.

You okay? Yeah.

Listen, um, grandma and grandpa had a fight--

okay, well, we'll, we'll talk later, okay?

Hi, sweetie. Okay.

Hey, mom. Look, I made pancakes.

Yeah, they're, they're really good, actually.

I can't. I have painting class.

Oh.

Uh, but you know what?

Uh, you know how I've been talking about

turning the attic into my art studio?

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm finally gonna do it.

Now? Yeah.

And there's a lot of junk up there.

Junk. Mom, that's--

all of our childhood stuff is up there.

Yeah, well, you're gonna have to go through it

and see what you want.

And ask your brothers and your sister

if they'll go through it too.

Anything that's important to them,

they should take home, 'cause whatever's left,

I'm gonna, you know, either give away or burn.

Burn?

Mom.

My dad is so far underwater on this thing.

Yeah, I was looking at those.

It's just-- it's quite a hole.

How are you doing with your parents?

Um...They'll be fine.

It's just, you know, the whole thing started

because he went upside down on a bad investment,

which a lot of people do, I might add.

All I have to do is help him dig his way out

and he'll patch things up with mom in no time.

Babe, I looked at the value of the land

and the buildings.

I--I don't know how you, you dig him out of that.

Well... That's actually what I,

what I need to talk to you about.

I was thinking of calling timm.

Oh.

I know timm's not your favorite person.

Not even close. But he knows real estate.

Well, I know real estate, Julie.

I was a contractor.

No, I know, but, you know, he's a fund manager.

He has a ton of connections. This is his job.

Timm.

Timmmmm.

Okay, so he has two "m"s in his name.

Let's keep it in perspective here.

I ammmm.

Joel.

The guy tried to steal you from me.

I mean, what do you want?

It's for my dad.

Okay.

I'll do it for himmmm.

Shut up.

But not for timmmmm. Cut it out.

Relax.

It's not the large super collider.

I don't think you realize this,

but I have the perfect system.

Mm.

Every other weekend, I would drop my dirty clothes off

at mom and dad's, then have tea with her,

watch the game with him, and then magically

at the end of all that,

my clothes would be folded and clean.

And how long did this go on for?

14 years.

But now that they're in this fight,

I can't even stop by there 'cause it's too stressful.

Mm.

So perfect system-- pfft.

It's a real tragedy. Right? It's a bummer.

Yeah.

Okay, so, um, you know about separating colors, right?

Well, clearly I don't know how to separate colors.

Oh, no.

Why are you trying to segregate my laundry?

Hmm?

Don't freak out.

This-- look, this is good news, okay?

We just have to figure out how we can amp up production

on the summer line as fast as we can.

All right, uh...

Look, the--look, the samples for the summer line

have practically sold out at every store we sent them to,

so we can make up a lot of lost money here.

All right, well, just-- look, get those guys on it.

Okay?

Uh, you know what, I'm gonna have to call you back.

All right? Bye.

You okay?

Sorry, I just came to ask you a question and, uh,

I didn't mean to--

Sarah, what's happening? What's going on?

You wanna know why mom was so upset last night?

Yeah.

I mean, it's because dad didn't tell her about

the investments, the bad investments he made.

Adam, dad cheated on mom.

And she made me promise not to tell, but I,

I just can't handle it.

When did this happen?

I don't know.

Sometime before we came back from Fresno, I don't know.

It's over now, but, you know,

that's what happened and that's why they're so upset.

Okay.

But she made me promise not to tell

and now you have to promise not to tell, okay?

All right, I promise.

God, that son of a bitch.

♪ May God bless and keep you always ♪

♪ and may your wishes all come true ♪

♪ may you atways do for others ♪

♪ and let others do for you ♪

♪ may you build a ladder to the stars ♪

♪ and climb on every rung ♪

♪ and may you stay ♪

♪ forever young ♪

♪ may you grow up to be righteous ♪

♪ may you grow up to be true ♪

♪ may you always know the truth ♪

♪ and see the lights surrounding you ♪

♪ may you always be courageous ♪

♪ stand upright and be strong ♪

♪ and may you stay ♪

♪ forever young ♪

♪ may you stay ♪

♪ forever young ♪

♪ Parenthood 1x11 ♪ Solace Original Air Date on May 11, 2010

That son of a bitch.

I mean, how could he do this to her, how?

I don't know, the same reason any other guy

does it to their wife, you know?

Low self-esteem. Yeah.

They take those little blue pills

that make their things go--

it's not genetic, okay?

'Cause I would never ever... Do that to you.

I didn't even think of that.

I know.

Okay, well, of course, I would never.

I hope not.

No, I know that you wouldn't.

I just--

it makes me sick. It makes me sick, honey.

This is awkward too,

because he's in our house right now.

Yeah, I know.

But I won't say anything. I won't act weird around him.

Yeah, we can't, okay? I won't.

I'll pretend that everything's normal.

I can't have this confrontation

with him right now.

Are you gonna say something

to Julia or crosby or anybody?

I don't think so. Oh, my God.

No, I don't know. This is crazy.

Oh, come on.

Hey, Amber. Hi.

Can we talk about what happened?

No.

Okay.

It sometimes gets stuck. I mean, you--

look, stop. You have to stop, okay?

Please, seriously. Leave me alone. Stop.

So I called timm.

Master of the universe timm?

Timmberwolf? X-timm? Timm-dog?

Yeah, timm.

And he and I are meeting for second lunch.

What's a second lunch? You know--

it's something you do when you don't wear shorts to work.

That's sociopathic. Thank you.

Are you guys hearing this crap? Second lunch?

You believing this? Second lunch?

Okay, when timm puts his real estate acumen

to work on this, we will not have a problem.

We will have a fix.

Mom and dad will get back together.

End. You're welcome.

And I won't have to do my laundry anymore.

All will be right in the world.

How's mom?

She's, uh, uh, fine. She's a little fragile.

She's all right.

Mm. Mm. How about dad?

Well, he's himself.

You're saying it like you're not sure,

but you guys are still living together, yeah?

Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, listen, mom wants everybody

to come get their stuff out of the attic, okay?

So if there's anything in there you want,

take it, otherwise she's gonna throw it out.

Well, what, is that her way of getting back at dad?

What would that have to do with dad?

'Cause what he did is unbelievable.

Whoa.

Did you guys both wake up

on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

He shouldn't have lied. Okay--

what? He was embarrassed, okay?

Half the country's underwater financially.

It's not like he did it on purpose.

When you say "everything,"

you don't mean the piano.

What do you think, crosby?

Everything. Everything.

Yeah, well, I learned how to play on that piano.

All right?

It says w.M. Schaum & sons on the keys.

I mean, I spent a lot of time.

I need that piano.

When did you become so sentimental?

I bet you haven't thought about that piano in 15 years.

I can tell you I'm thinking about it right now

and I don't want you guys in there

getting your hands on it before I--

can I ask you how you're gonna put a piano in a houseboat?

What are you, the zoning commission?

What do you care?

That's the least of our worries.

All right, anyway. What does that mean?

Nothing. Just come get your stuff.

Adam. What?

I will solve dad's financial problems, Adam.

I've got this. I will.

I know you will.

Hey, haddie. Hey.

How was school? It was fine.

Hey, you want a virgin screwdriver?

No, thanks.

Hey, sweetheart, I know things are tough,

so you hang in there, all right?

Okay. Yeah.

And good for you for resisting

when that boy, you know,

was trying to get you to have intercourse with him.

I'm so proud of you.

Yeah.

Thanks, grandpa.

You're welcome.

Hey.

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the matter?

What's wrong? What's wrong?

Grandpa. Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

What happened?

Nothing, okay?

I'm just gonna be alone, all right?

Uh-uh. You know what?

You've been spending way too much time alone.

I'm starting to get worried a little bit.

Mom. It's fine. No, it's not fine.

Haddie, why don't you have a--

okay, don't gross out at the word--

but a good old-fashioned slumber party.

You know, invite some girls over.

It'd be really fun.

We could make muddy buddies. No, not fun?

I don't know. Are you being serious?

Maybe I'll make hanky pankies.

Mom.

We'll have fun, we'll do the ouija board--

mom, stop. What?

No?

I don't know, would you really do that?

Yes. I am. I want you to do this.

I wanna do this for you. You just...

You're so down.

Okay. Okay?

Thanks. I'll get you some "michis."

Mochi. Mochi.

Thanks. You're welcome.

Oh, my God.

It's my bunny. My cotton ball bunny.

Do you think mom would torch that?

She would, right? She'd torch it in a second.

What are you doing?

I mean, how the hell did they get this thing in here?

Uh, I don't know.

I mean, did they assemble it in here?

I don't know. How would you get it out?

I don't know.

Put it through the window with a real strong rope?

The whole point of having parents

is to keep your crap in their attic.

Mom wants this space, crosby.

I think we should be respectful of that.

You don't think that this is about something else

and not really about the space?

Why are you being so sentimental about this anyway?

You've not even been up here in ten years.

I'm not feeling sentimental. I'm feeling pragmatic.

I'm pragmatically preserving this important piece

of our family's history.

And you know-- mom!

No, no, no, no. Mom.

Hey, cros, no. Mom!

Leave--ooh. Mom. Mom.

Hey.

Mom, I'm sorry,

but you're gonna have to rethink this art studio idea.

Why don't you paint in the backyard,

the great outdoors?

That's what Matisse did and every--

you know, all the greats.

Yeah?

I'm not positive about Matisse,

but I think-- I do know that some artists did.

But listen.

I can't make a decision about the stuff in the attic.

It's, it's too hard.

Well, I know it's painful, goose,

but you kids are at the point where you have your own homes.

Well.

Or working toward having your own homes,

and I can't make these decisions for you.

You're gonna have to decide for yourself

what's important to you.

Well, it's all important.

Change is healthy.

No, it's not. That's an urban legend.

Sometimes you just have to make a choice.

There are no good snacks in this house.

What is that supposed to mean?

"Sometimes you just have to make a choice."

Do you think she's talking about dad and her?

I don't know.

Well, how serious is this?

What am I, a mind reader? I don't know.

Well, you're supposed to--

you're, you're on site, okay?

You're our eyes and ears to the situation.

Well, I reject this. Entirely.

That'll help. I do, for real.

They're gonna work it out like they always do.

End of story.

Totally, I hope so.

I don't understand how you had lunch with the guy

to talk about your father's investment

and never talked about it.

It's just like I said.

It got cut short for that conference call

he had with Tokyo.

Okay, so there's not going to be another lunch?

I'm sorry, I know.

I'm, I'm really-- I'm sorry.

Tokyo. What a jerk. But what are you gonna do?

He's a jerk because he has a conference call

with someone in Tokyo?

Hey, I'm allowed to not like people.

Just like you never liked Stacy.

Well, she's not likable. She is likable.

She had that weird-- that thing,

that tall girl way of walking around.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

So arrogant.

All right, well, we'll have him over for dinner.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What? I'll behave. No, no, no.

As long as he does.

You would do that?

Your dad needs help,

and he's been so kind to me over the years,

what with the eunuch jokes.

I figure it's the least I could do.

So you'd do this for me?

Yes. Yes?

Yes. Oh.

If only he knew how much of a eunuch you're not.

Mm. Mm, mm.

Let's tell him.

Let's keep it our little secret.

Okay, that's a good idea.

Hey, just because people don't normally

put pianos on houseboats doesn't mean

it's not a good idea, all right?

I'm an innovator. Hold that.

I'm like the first guy to bring a microwave

on a houseboat.

They probably said that guy was crazy.

Right, but a microwave weighs ten pounds.

And a piano weighs six million.

Six million?

I find that hard to believe.

I think it's 600, which is well within

the carrying capacity of this vessel.

Besides, if there's too much weight,

I'll just start hanging out with tinier people like you.

Like little miniature, tiny little curly-haired

miniature people!

Why don't you store it at Adam's?

Yeah.

I can't really do that to him.

He's already storing my dad.

Well, if, uh, you're not willing to give it up,

then there's only one other option.

Which is?

You're gonna need a bigger boat, mate!

Arr! Arr!

Is that from jaws? You did quint.

And it's Ray scheider's line.

Actually, it's roy scheider's line, but--

right, Roy scheider's line. Right.

What I do know is that dinner is ready,

so why don't you come sit down, sit down.

Huh? Let's do it.

All right. Hot pot, hot pot.

Wow.

This is really nice. Thank you.

You're welcome.

It is nice, huh?

Really nice. Not too much cheese.

Okay.

Yeah, it is.

Really nice.

You've got four guys out there, pass the ball.

There you go. He's open.

What the hell is--

♪ who lives in a pineapple under the sea ♪

♪ spongebob squarepants ♪ oh, come on.

Wait a minute. What the hell?

Hey, Adam.

Sit down, grandpa. Adam! Huh?

Adam! Come here a minute. Your tv's all screwed up.

The cartoon thing came on.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Calm down.

I had the game on and the cartoons show up.

It's spongebob. Oh. Okay, relax.

Spongebob?

Let's talk about it in the other room, okay?

What?

We'll explain it to you in here.

I'll explain it to you.

Yay, it's spongebob.

No, come on. Have a seat.

Dad, come on. Look.

Dad, I know you wanna watch your game.

But we have to limit Max's tv time.

Yes, and it has to be predictable for him.

Okay, so the thing is set to switch to spongebob

exactly at 7:00.

It stays on for the length of the show,

then it turns itself off; It's locked in.

All right, and ever since we set up the dvr like this,

we haven't had a single fight about the tv.

Not one problem. All right?

It's good. It's good for Max.

Well, so--

There are no exceptions, I mean, even for overtimes

or something?

Hey, if you don't like it here...

Hey.

Is it-- you wanna play it that way?

Yeah.

Is that how-- okay.

Fine, then I'll just listen to my game on the radio

that I have upstairs... Me and the crickets.

Those other insects that are up there.

I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him first.

I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him.

Hey. Hey.

So my mom had this idea

and it's stupid but could also be really fun.

Um, we're having a slumber party.5,

oh.

It could be fun.

It's me, uh, tisha, Kayla, Grace,

and I really want you to come.

It's tonight? Yeah.

I have, uh, an algebra test.

No way. You have to be there.

Seriously, when you make fun of Steve,

it makes me feel so much better.

Please?

Okay. Yeah, of course.

I'll totally be there.

Great. I'll see you.

You know, I'm not sure that I'm in the market

to move in, you know, any time soon.

I just saw the open house sign and...

All right, well, great.

So it's two bedrooms, one bath.

Okay.

Do you think a piano would fit through that door?

Upright or grand?

Well, it's not Elton John's piano.

It's my upright.

Uh, my guess is it would, yeah.

It would. I think so.

Okay. And um...

How about the schools? Are they any good?

Very, yeah.

Best test scores in the East Bay, actually.

Um, do you have a family?

Uh, yeah, you know, it's, uh, complicated.

But, um, I did recently acquire a son.

He's, uh, he's really cute. You wanna see some pictures?

Sure. Yeah.

Okay.

That's him, and then that's his mom.

Oh, nice family. Yeah, they are, huh?

Yeah.

So is it just the three of you or--

um, yeah. Probably.

Uh, but the piano's a definite, though.

So, you know, the rest is kind of a work in progress.

Okay, well, uh, through here,

we've got a full dining room.

It's really cozy, a lot of natural sunlight.

And, uh, in here, full kitchen,

dishwasher, garbage disposal, and, uh,

over here, a washer/dryer.

Ooh, you know what?

I know how to operate these.

Geez, Max, lookie here.

You could have one of these, you know?

You could call him skipper.

He looks like a skipper, doesn't he?

I think I like this tortoise.

What?

Ah, geez, I don't know. He doesn't--

not very good-looking.

All they do is move their head in and out and--

you might as well get a green rock.

I like him. He's thinking.

Do you like the name miles?

Miles? Yeah, miles.

I'm trying to remember exactly when and why

this pet promise was made.

Last Tuesday, his progress report.

No tantrums.

So we promised him that we'd get him--

right, right, right, right. Great.

Max wants a turtle.

Tortoise. All right.

His name is miles. Excellent choice.

He's cute. Excellent choice.

Low maintenance choice. Huh?

Nothing. Don't say anything.

Nothing. We like the tortoise.

He's cute.

Hey, mom? Yeah?

Do you wanna order something like pizza?

I just saw somebody eating it on tv.

It looks so good.

Okay, that's gonna be a little formal for pizza.

Yes, I'm going out tonight. Didn't I tell you?

Oh, no. Really? You look great.

Where are you going? Really?

You think for, for an art show opening?

My whole painting class is going.

Oh. Okay.

I can't remember the last time

I got all dressed up to go out.

Ah, me neither. Hey, can I come?

Seriously? Yeah, I'd love to come.

I love art. Girls' night out?

Sure.

Of course. Go get dressed.

Oh, no, I am dressed.

No, really dressed.

A Porsche. I love you.

45 minutes late. I love you so much.

Yes, you do. Okay. All right. Okay.

Yeah, you get it-- okay.

Hey! Oh... There he is.

Worst dinner guest ever, right?

No, of course not. Come in.

I'm 40 minutes late. I'm so sorry.

Good to see you. Don't worry about it.

Joel. Hey.

Good to see you, man. You look great.

Look at the arms, the hair.

Guy's like a rock star.

Boy. Okay. Thanks, I guess.

Ah, thing is, they, they say it's gonna be

a ten-minute phone call.

You're not just dotting the "I"s, crossing the "t"s.

Then suddenly they want to reopen all the deal points

we spent the last six months grinding them on.

That's the worst. Yeah, that sucks.

Bet you're glad you don't have to deal with

crap like that, huh, Joel?

Phew.

Stay-at-home dad. Yup.

Man. What do I have to do to get that job?

Seriously, though, it's honorable, what you do.

Yep.

Oh, uh, this is a little something I picked up

in tuscany, little vineyard last month.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

This is the whole place, or--

this is it.

Well, you know, there's the second floor.

But should we have some wine?

Wine would be awesome. Your, your call, absolutely.

Let's start with our poor wine,

and then we'll move on to this tuscany.

Save this for a special occasion.

Dad? Hey, sweetheart.

Hi.

Boy, you look nice.

Thanks. You scared me.

What are you doing?

Oh, well, you know, just getting some clothes.

So how's your mom?

You know, fine. She's keeping busy.

You would not believe what I am going through

at your brother's house.

You know that eight-year-old kid runs the joint?

And the girl's virginity's hanging by a thread.

Adam, Adam can't even watch a basketball game with me--

boy, you look beautiful.

So, uh, where are you girls off to, the cotillion?

No, well, we're going to an art gallery opening.

Oh.

My whole class is going.

Uh, Millie, can I--

we'd better get going.

Sarah? Dad.

Yeah, okay, I'm coming. Okay, bye.

See you later.

Have a good time.

That's Ingrid. In the kimono.

She's all about daffodils.

She sneaks them into all her paintings.

Uh-oh.

And that's Harvey there, with the bushy hair

and the orthopedic shoes.

Yeah, he's obsessed with African masks.

That's all he paints. Huh.

That's Matthew. Uh-huh.

Oh, that's your teacher?

He's amazing.

True art has just entered the room.

Oh, he always does that.

You look absolutely stunni.

Really? I do? Thank you.

Is this Sarah?

Hi. How are you? Glad to meet you.

Do you know how talented your mother is?

Yeah.

He's saying that because you're here.

Mm-hmm. No. Really.

Can I steal your mother away for a bit?

Oh, he's-- he's gonna steal me away.

Okay. Well, steal, steal, steal.

So the plan is to bundle your dad's holdings

with a bunch of higher-end properties--

bundling is when we package a less attractive investment

with some blue chips, so as to--

I understand what bundling...

Well, uh, then we call the, uh, the keppler group.

They'll, uh-- they're wired up to

a big pile of China money.

Mm-hmm.

Keppler buys the bundle, which buys out your dad.

And he comes away with maybe 40¢ on the dollar,

but hey, it's a hell of a lot better than 0¢, right?

And the keppler guys, why are they into it?

They owe me a favor for keeping their name

out of the papers during the whole T.A.R.P. Mess.

T.A.R.P. Stands for, uh, troubled asset relief program.

Mm. Hmm.

Excuse me, this one- I gotta take this one.

Dana, what's going on, brother?

What happened?

Uh-huh.

You're my hero.

Okay.

♪ ♪

unbelievable. Excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry, not you. It's--

I mean, I get it, you know?

You're hurt, you want revenge, but that, this--

who, who are we talking about?

It's my mother. It's my--

that little lady with the necklace is my mother,

and the guy she's talking to is her art teacher.

Oh, they make a cute couple.

They're not a couple.

That woman is a grandmother.

Look at her flirting and giggling.

It's like she's in the sex and the city movie.

Oh, I'm so looking forward to seeing that sequel.

Well, so am I, I'm not dead inside.

But the fact is, that guy's a home wrecker.

I am gonna go and look at some art.

Sorry.

Take it. Oh, yeah, I did.

We'll put a cat on it, but, like, it'll look better--

since when do you like death cab?

Who burned this?

Oh, um...Nobody.

I just have to return that to somebody.

To who? To Steve?

Let me see that.

Um...Hmm.

Ooh. Tisha.

It was an accident.

Um, I say yay.

Steve is a douche.

He is.

The decemberists, is this one his too?

No, it's not. I love them.

Do it. Do it.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

He was a total jerk to you, come on.

Break it. He totally deserves it.

Do you think I should, Amber?

Whatever you want.

Do it. Do it.

Everybody take one.

That feels so good. Come on, Amber.

Whoo!

Yeah, break it.

Miles is missing. What?

Uh, I went to say good night to him

and he wasn't-- he ran away!

Did you check eight inches away from where you left him?

What are we going to do? Okay, he's not in his room.

I don't know where the heck this thing is.

It just disappeared.

All right, listen to me. Everything's gonna be okay.

You go look around the house with mom.

Grandpa and I'll look outside, okay?

We'll get haddie and her friends to help.

Okay, well, see, I--

son, this is where a dog would come in handy, right?

You go, "here, skipper. Here boy."

And your dog comes.

You do that to a turtle, nothing.

I'm gonna get us some flashlights.

De kooning gets a royalty

every time someone looks at that.

That's an art joke I actually get.

It's funny. We're gonna go.

You're gonna--

friend of mine has a gallery in Oakland

and they're also having an opening tonight.

Oh.

But it's a few notches down on the pretentious meter.

Okay. Well, where is it? I'll, I'll join you.

Oh, no, no. Not necessary.

But, mom, how are you gonna get home?

Do you want me to come get you later?

Well, Matthew will give me a ride home.

Yeah, no problem. Sure. Oh, sure.

Okay.

Well, have fun. Yes.

Bye, darling. Okay.

Bye, Sarah.

Bye-bye.

Well, we could be out here all night

looking for the turtle.

Wait a second. I think I got him.

Boy, if that's him,

I'm gonna enter him into a marathon.

Hey, look, Adam, why don't you and me

go to the pet store, we'll get a golden retriever

and he can find a turtle?

Stop with the damn dog.

Well, I mean, you really ought to get Max

a real pet, Adam.

Oh, my God, would you shut up?

What, do you think I don't know w you're here?

What do you mean?

I know that you cheated on mom.

What?

You heard me.

Who told you that?

Well, does it matter?

That's none of your damn business, son.

Well, how could you do that to her?

We did it to each other, Adam.

It takes two to tango.

Well, that's a load of crap, you son of a bitch.

Oh, no, it's not that simple, son.

Really? Really?

You're gonna blame mom for screwing around

with some other woman?

Hey, let me tell you something.

When you've been married 46 years,

you come and talk to me.

Until then, you just back the hell off.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you--

worse than I remembered. Way worse.

I know, he's a means to an end.

I don't think so.

We're done with that guy.

What are you talking about?

I don't trust him.

Joel, don't let baggage from a million years ago

become a factor in what's happening right now.

Julia, this isn't about baggage.

This is about him bundling money.

Like all the crooks who got this country

into the whole mess it's in, it's just--

look. Timm is not a criminal.

We could find somebody better.

Who? To help your dad.

Somebody who's not such a scumbag.

For starters, me.

I can, I can drive out,

I can take a look at the property,

evaluate it, maybe there's some way I can

do some work on it, uh, bring the value up.

Joel.

We're not putting anything more into this.

That's throwing good money after bad.

You don't have a say in this.

You gotta be kidding me.

You know I've been over the numbers.

And I've been over them and the hole is huge.

And there's no one who will

do us this kind of massive favor

that timm's talking about doing.

The crisis is huge.

My parents' marriage is in the balance.

I don't know what else to say.

Okay.

♪ Doo, doo doo doo ♪

♪ ♪

Max kind of looks like a turtle.

I can see that. Or like--I mean, a tortoise.

I don't know. I don't know which one it is.

Yeah, I don't really know the difference.

Yeah. Same snappy little face.

I know. Which is like Max's face, you know?

Like every day--

haddie. Can I talk to you for one second?

Yeah.

About Steve.

Oh, my God. I know.

I saw you guys talking in the cafeteria.

He prob-- did he say something weird,

because he makes jokes, and, like--

haddie, it's not that.

Uh--

what? What?

No, I just--

this is hard.

What?

I--I slept, I slept with him.

Ha ha.

I don't know, I don't know,

I don't know what happened.

I don't know what happened, haddie.

Uh, it was an accident. I, I messed up.

I, I was drinking and he was being nice,

and I just-- something is wrong with me.

I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back.

It was an accident.

And I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Please try to-- can you just--

can you, can you stop... Talking?

I don't know what happened.

Please, please don't be mad at me.

Please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry.

Please.

Oh, God.

Max, Max. We are going to find miles.

No, we're not! I promise.

You can't promise because you don't know where he is!

You're right, you're right, I can't.

But look, Max, a tortoise is never really lost

because a tortoise carries its house on its back, right?

Hey. Max.

Hey. Max.

Hey. Max.

Max. Max.

You're gonna be all right. Okay?

All right?

Okay.

You waited up.

Revenge, huh, for all those nights

I made you wait up?

Yeah, right.

There aren't enough nights in the year.

Mom. What?

How was it? Oh, it was fun.

We had a really good time. What did you do?

Well, um, we went to the--

The other art show.

You would not believe how bad the art was.

It was like someone threw up all over the canvas.

We got out of there in about five minutes.

And we went to, um, uh, a bar.

It was a pub. Irish pub.

We had irish coffee. And, uh, it was nice.

There was a, there was a band there

that wasn't so great.

So we left there and we went back to Matthew's place.

And, um, he made us a fire

and, uh, served us some port.

And we talked, and, um...

And, um...

And?

Oh, mom.

Go slow.

I'm losing it.

No, no, no, no. Braverman, come on. Dig deep.

No, I can't. All right, easy. Easy.

Oh, God, oh, God, I'm losing it.

Come on, dig deep. Oh, oh, God.

Well, you know what, that's not funny.

This is a priceless instrument.

Hey, hey, nephew of mine, don't encourage him.

All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

He's not the one who's making his nephew

carry a piano down the stairs. Exactly, exactly.

All right, hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Just-- do you need me to get it?

Yeah, would you just grab this?

Okay, all right, I got it.

Okay. You got it?

I'm holding it, yeah. Just gotta get this--

oh. Oh, don rickles is here.

The first time you've ever made a joke,

and you decide to do it when I'm holding a piano.

It felt pretty good.

You know what? What?

I'm never asking you guys to help me

move anything ever again.

You promise? Excellent.

Come on, let's go, go, go, go, go!

Keep the momentum. Go, go, go, go, go!

Come on. Come on.

I like this picture, mommy.

You look like a princess.

Oh, yeah, that's prom.

Is that daddy?

No, sweetie, look at it.

It's my friend, timm.

Timmmmm.

Come on back. Come on back.

Let's pull. You're up.

Ah!

So where's haddie?

Adam?

That's it? You got that right angle?

Yup. Come on back.

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, push.

Yes!

I actually did something. Thanks.

Whoo!

And you said it couldn't be done.

Okay.

To thank you for your not-so-heroic efforts,

I present to you solace, a mexican serenade.

No! No!

Play something else.

Well, what's wrong with that one?

Oh, it's a song he played for his sixth grade recital.

We've heard it like 10,000 times.

Ten million. I wanna hear it.

It's gonna bring me back in time

to a very unattractive hairdo.

Keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

Aw. It sounds good.

It's not as awful as I remember it.

Oh, some songs never get old, right?

Except that one.

Except for this one, that's right.

I like it.

Oh, please.

Go ahead, Joel. May I?

Yeah, give Jasmine a whirl.

Oh, here we go, yes.

Joel! Joel, let's keep a little distance.

Whoo!

I'll do a-- I'll just do a--

do I get a dip? Yeah.

You know who's a good dancer.

Aunt Sarah.

She hates to do it, but once she gets started,

boy, there's nothing stopping her.

♪ ♪

well.

Look who's the hero.

Where did you find him? He was in my shoe.

They don't have a very good sense of smell.

Well, Max is gonna be thrilled.

Why don't you go give it to him?

Oh, no, here, you give it to him.

All right.

Here, buddy.

You know something, Sonny,

you're ten times the father I ever was.

That's not true. Yes, it is.

Five times maybe.

Miles! Yeah.

Miles! Grandpa found him.

Miles!

I think your mom's gonna forgive me.

I wouldn't.

But then again, I haven't been married for 46 years.

-- Sync by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com --