Original subtitles

[panting]

[grunts, screams]

[coughs]

[snarls]

[groans]

[panting]

[breathing heavily]

The city of Corinth... has received their invitation

to the First Ever Worldwide Inter-City Games

and says... [inhales deeply]

"yes"!

That's great news!

Is he dead? That's obviously bad news

and his life shouldn't be trivialized,

but put him in the "yes" pile! Yes!

So we've got how many cities coming?

- Four. - Amazing!

The Games are happening!

[grunting]

You don't have to take out the people, son.

We have people for that. - I'm taking it to my lab.

I've been getting into dead bodies lately.

Scientifically.

Where is it scientific to study dead people, Egypt?

Oh, they get up to stuff down there.

You love killing people!

Yeah, and then I leave 'em alone like a normal person.

I'll do what I want and nobody can stop me!

[grunting]

Can I get a servant to help me not be stopped?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

It is exciting that our city will be hosting

all these other cities.

I know a recipe for an orgy when I hear one.

You hear recipes for orgies every day.

- It's a pretty simple recipe. - Prove it.

Can you guys not be gross while I'm eating?

I gotta build my strength

so I can rip out some spines in these Games.

These aren't those kind of Games, Stupendous.

Everyone's spine is staying right inside their backs.

Then what are we gonna count to know who won?

The whole point of this event is to show that

cities can coexist peacefully. - OK, I'm out.

Stupendous, do as your brother says.

These Games are a great idea.

Wow, Mum. Your support is confusing.

They've truly earned the name "The Deliria Games."

And some kind of banner. Just riffing here.

No longer confusing.

I suppose if they're named after me,

I'll have to make an appearance at the closing ceremonies.

Can't do that without a song. Songs need choreography.

I guess me descending from the heavens

on a giant golden swing?

My hands are tied.

Mum, do you have to take over everything I do?

No, I can take over a lot of things.

The weather for instance.

Hope there's not a tornado coming... of scorpions.

"Deliria Games" it is.

I'll enslave some dancers!

There he is! Welcome to the Games, neighbor!

I came to keep you from getting killed.

Do you know who you've invited to your city?

Zika the Brutal? Papatonis the Destroyer?

These titles never mean what they sound like.

Maybe Zika is brutally honest.

Maybe Papatonis destroyed poverty.

Petra, the Biter-Off-er of Penises?

That could be her married name?

Anyway, don't forget something: you and I were enemies,

then I invited you in, and now we're friends.

Fair point. As a friend,

can I ask you a favor? - Anything.

Pretend you don't know me when the other guys get here.

If they all attack at once,

I don't want to get my ass kicked.

Hey! Look who's here!

Did you see how poorly defended this nerd's walls are?

Sorry.

Welcome. I'm Tyrannis, the host.

I'm Papatonis.

Let's shake hands. Whoops!

Guess I'm fixing my hair instead.

I invented that. - Don't let him bully you.

I'm Zika. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. - I'm kidding.

Why would it be nice to meet anyone?

The world is merciless, stupid. - I agree.

But I believe we can change that together. Drinks?

Nice try. [whip cracks]

We know how poison works.

OK.

Crack that whip next to my son again

and I'll turn your face inside out,

which would be an improvement.

Uh, you live with your mother?

She lives with me.

Listen, I've set up a very nice luxury skybox in the arena,

where we can all watch the Games together.

In the meantime, make yourselves at home.

Uh, we've never met. I'm Asskill.

[all laugh]

[whispers] I'm so sorry.

Mum, please don't make me look like a kid

in front of the other kings.

I'm about to pitch them my big thing.

You know, my thing? The world's first empire?

A centralized network of multiple cities

and a mutually beneficial alliance?

Can't you just do some push-ups?

You never get me!

Just don't get assassinated before my closing number.

[tapping] All right, failures!

Let's actually try this time. A-five, six, seven, eight!

No, stop, stop. How can you be this bad?

Shouldn't someone tell us what the moves are?

Oh, is that? All right.

Full disclosure, first time choreographing.

Right, here's what I want.

Five, six, seven, eight. [magical chime]

Come on, like you want it.

Like you're controlling your own bodies.

Isn't it nice to take a break

from your dark, corpse-filled lab

and get outside, see the sun, have fun with the people?

I have plenty of fun with the people.

I mean the living people.

Son, as monsters,

we have to be careful about our messaging.

Bad monsters kill people,

good monsters have sex with people.

Trust me, that's where the action is.

Dad, my outer membrane is reproductive jelly.

I'm technically having sex all the time.

And just because I'm not like you

doesn't mean I'm a bad monster.

[screams]

Someone's been murdered! [citizens gasp]

Ooh, a freshie! That's super rare.

Let's go!

[crowd gasping]

Dear god, who does this? It's barbaric.

They didn't even eat a single piece.

Of course they didn't. They were having too much fun.

That's why they didn't stop.

I need to get this body back to my lab.

Son, no. The humans are watching.

Yeah, they're watching me invent forensic science.

To catch this killer, I need to get inside his head,

by running my fingers through his victim's guts.

Support me! - All right.

My son and I are taking this body.

But we're good monsters.

Our motivations are quite sexual.

Nice save, Dad.

[crowd cheering]

So you see, we trade olives for leather,

leather for spices, spices for cattle,

use the cattle for milk,

which we then trade for, wait for it, olives!

And Krapopolis will be the city that started it all.

Seems complicated, but,

hey, I'm just the guy you pay to reassure you.

And you're doing a bang up job.

Too bad you're not the guy I pay to get sarcasm, huh?

People from all over have gathered to watch

whatever this is going to be.

Maybe it's because our lives only consist of work,

suffering and death,

but I for one am excited to be here!

Are you guys gonna talk like that the whole time?

Not sure what you mean. It's just how we talk.

Here come the athletes!

[crowd cheering]

Players from each city are now holding rocks.

[players grunt]

Players, stack!

Peace. Peace. Peace. [hesitant applause]

What kind of idiot thinks stacking a bunch of rocks

counts as a game? - My idiot brother, that's who.

Sounds like a real idiot.

Except you don't get to say that about him.

Only I do.

Stack your rock, little muscle man.

I'll "stack a rock" you! [grunts]

[grunts] [crowd cheers]

- Some kind of rock check. - Getting interesting.

[grunts] [crowd cheering loudly]

Hey, check it out.

I didn't know these Games would involve violence.

[thudding] - [screams]

Official Deliria Games Wine!

[magical chime]

Collectible goblets!

Enjoying your own Games?

I am but a humble wine vendor.

Relax, Deliria. No shame.

I once caught Athena pretending to be the bull

at her own sacrifice. - Ha! Loser.

Popping in to tell you that your event

has drawn some impressives.

Over my shoulder, peregrine falcon, don't look,

falcon perched on the-- don't look!

That's Aphrodite, baby. - You're kidding.

I thought that was a weirdly hot falcon.

And, front row,

you can look because he loves it,

Poseidon's nephew, Broseidon.

Ay, let's see some cool crap!

Famous for being famous.

Nobody likes him but he goes where the heat is, so...

So the heat is here! That's tremendous.

Here's hoping you can keep it on your side.

Super speed!

It's as if this event has gone from a peaceful,

somewhat anticlimactic stacking of rocks

to some kind of battle over collecting rocks!

[grunting]

[crowd cheering]

It doesn't really seem like your royal friends--

They'll be here.

They're probably just entranced by

the peaceful majesty of my Games.

I don't think the Games are very peaceful anymore.

- What? - Yeah.

Your sister kind of invented

more of a competitive violence-driven thing.

It's kind of a hit. Well, not kind of.

It's actually mostly hitting.

[players shouting]

She's undermining world peace.

And she must die!

Krapopolis has possession!

[grunts]

[crowd cheering]

Whoo!

Yeah! She came out of me!

Oh, good, Mum. I need you to stop Stupendous.

Stop her? The Games are a hit, dear.

Look at that. - [screeches]

I don't know what the hell that is.

Isn't it obvious? Everyone loves watching your sister

beat other people's brains out

and it's all thanks to me in a roundabout sort of way.

That was never the point of this.

And what was the point again?

To get the other kings to listen to

my inter-city peace whatever, so I'm putting a stop to this.

Where did you inherit your love of failure from?

- Help me or get out of my way. - I'll help.

[screams]

It's the kind of help where you thank me later.

How much more can you learn from this?

Everything. I'm inventing something new.

This is called profiling.

We're looking for a smart but weak man,

a skilled craftsman, lonely, frustrated,

works indoors, socially awkward,

just wants to be loved...

[snaps] But they won't admit it.

Uh-huh.

They're saying with these murders, "screw you, everybody.

"You think you're so great

"because you make out with each other

"and laugh together and mock me behind my back?

"But guess what, man? Guess what?

"You won't be so sexy if I fix you,

if I make you look like I feel!"

Anyway, um... [clears throat]

That's who we're looking for. What do you think?

I think this killer sounds like a nice boy

who's just misunderstood. - Well, I think he's garbage.

- Don't say that. - We need to catch him!

Maybe he needs to be caught... in a hug.

What is wrong with you?

I think I know where the killer will strike next!

That's good.

That's the first step to stopping.

- Yeah, I know. - I know you know.

I think I'm gonna do this part alone.

You can feel the energy in Krapopolis

as the Deliria Games enters

whatever comes after the beginning.

Measurements of time are not really a thing yet.

And we're giving you the play by play,

made possible by Yanni's sound cones,

cones of wood that make you loud!

You've got to be kidding me.

[players grunting]

Smart defense.

You gotta spend rocks to gain rocks

and this is a game of rocks.

Stupendous is going for the point!

Rock, Krapopolis! [crowd cheering]

You gotta think King Tyrannis is awful proud

of his big sister right now.

[screaming]

Whoa!

Hey, are you Stupendous' brother?

No, she's my sister. My sister!

- Hi, son. I bought snacks. - What do you want, Dad?

To see how things were progressing with your "case."

- Why did you say it like that? - No reason.

So based on your understanding of the killer,

you feel this might be a place they might--

I don't think he'd kill anyone here

but I do think he'll be revealing himself very soon.

That's good, son. Take your time.

Actually, don't take your time.

You're safe here. You can just say it.

I wanted it to be a surprise.

I don't think at this point it will be.

Oh, really? So you know who it is?

- Yes, I do. - Tell me.

I think it's important you say it.

Say it on three. One, two...

the blacksmith. - My beautiful son!

Wait, what? Why would Tyrannis kill people?

He's already king. - My other son.

Stupendous is a guy?

Me? Dad, what the hell?

It's the blacksmith, you knob!

Son, you don't have to be ashamed.

I support you. - As a murderer?

As whatever you are.

Then you can support me as a scholar of anatomy

on the trail of a killer!

Well, no, because that's crazy.

Just admit you're a horrific ghoul man from the deep

and let's get the hell out of town.

- You are the worst father. - And you are a great murderer.

I love you! Don't get caught!

[players grunting]

[crowd cheering]

[chanting] Stupendous! Stupendous! Stupendous!

Excuse me, coming through.

Sorry, but we're about to do a thing where

we all take turns standing up in kind of a wave.

It's gonna really give meaning to being a crowd at an event.

Do you know who I am?

I don't care if you're the king of Krapopolis!

I am the king of Krapopolis!

What an excellent way for me to illustrate my point.

Whoa!

[grunts]

Put it down, please. Thank you.

Put the rock down.

Stupendous, for once in your life,

stop sabotaging me!

- I never sabotaged-- - You're doing it now!

Put it down.

Hi. Thank you, everybody.

I'm Tyrannis. These are my Games.

But there's been some confusion.

They've gotten a little violent and a little too competitive.

But here's the good news.

Before that happened, we've proved something important:

that we can all get together in peace and have fun.

So what I'd like to do is invite my fellow kings up to

the luxury skybox and have an exciting talk about the future

while these folks go back to playing nicely.

What do you think?

Riot!

[crowd roaring] - Whoopsie.

[citizens shouting]

Baby?

It's not a secret riot shelter.

Nobody's ever said that about

a place that wasn't a secret riot shelter.

It's a royal reading nook.

There's no written language so there are no books.

I'm waiting for them.

That's why the shelves are filled with food, supplies,

and one dose of fatal poison.

Sugar-booger, you're all grown up now.

You can't just hide under your blanky-wanky.

Why are you pretending we had cute names for me or blankets?

I don't even think I had a blanket.

Because I raised you to be strong.

You barely raised me.

Right, you're talking in circles, booby-nooby.

Your city is being invaded and you're sitting here sulking.

I'm not sulking!

Maybe they deserve to be invaded.

You don't mean that. Krapopolis needs you.

Mumma's ass-kicking closing number needs you.

Naturally, this is all about you.

- Oh, like it's not about you. - Huh, yeah.

I mean, I've been convincing myself that

I put on these Games for a noble purpose

but the truth is, I only wanted to prove that my way is right

and I wanted it so badly I risked everything

just to keep my sister from getting the glory.

I'm no better than you!

Oh, please. You're barely scratching the surface.

Thank you, Mother.

Thank you for your shining, terrible example.

Now take me to Stupendous.

You know you're very lucky I'm doing a lot of

magic hour dependent light work in my number.

Hop onto Mumma's shoulders.

And if anyone sees us, I'm an ordinary ostrich.

You're gonna want thumbs for this.

I'm so happy you invited me in.

These are amazing. What do you call them again?

Horseshoes.

It's a little outside the box

but as a blacksmith, it's my job to think different.

My son is the same way.

I just wish he was more sociable, like you.

Do you have kids? - No, I'm pretty isolated.

I only talk to people when I've got work to do.

Other hoof. - The similarities continue.

Yes, you both work alone, you're both skilled craftsmen.

Distinctive nails you use.

I feel I've seen them around town.

Yes, they hold up quite a bit of weight.

But I guess you already know that.

You're the killer! That's wonderful.

It's not supposed to be.

No, you don't understand. See, I thought it was my son.

- [grunting] - Oh! OK, ouch!

But still, such a relief. - [laughs]

Blacksmith! I've caught you. Dad!

Hippo, I'm slain. But guess who by? Not you.

I'm so proud that you're only into corpses

other people killed.

Hold on. I've studied enough to know that

if I push down on this squirty thing...

- [cries out] - That's good.

If you were dying, that wouldn't hurt.

So you really were learning

and are not just a creepy death perv.

It can be both things.

I love you, son.

After I'm gone, I want you to go ahead

and dig around inside of me. Just go nuts in there.

You're not going anywhere!

But if you do, thank you, I will do that.

That's very exciting.

[screams, grunts]

Mummy's on a schedule!

So what's the strong person equivalent of "I'm sorry"?

Do I jab a sharp stick in my eye or are words enough?

For the apology you owe me,

that stick will need to get shoved way further south.

I get it. I'm always acting like I'm evolved and

you're a regressive barbarian, which you are,

and I keep trying to convince myself that

I can force people into a future I want,

one where I get to feel safe.

But the truth is, this is your world,

and you deserve to be celebrated.

Can't really argue with that.

But in a million years,

weak sissies like you will probably be running things.

That's why I came to help you build this city.

Great. We both agree that in a million years, I win.

So now can we go finish the Games and save the city?

Oh, OK. But if we pass a sharp stick,

you still owe me an apology.

Mum, can you help us get everyone back in the stands?

Finally. It's about time. You can only rehearse so much.

I think one of my backup dancers is about to give birth.

Hail, bitches!

It's hailing everywhere but over the amphitheater!

What an oddly specific weather pattern!

Oof!

OK, glad to see everyone is safe and sound.

A hailstone killed my kid!

Unfortunate, but most kids die.

That's why we have a lot.

[crowd booing]

Right now all that matters is the rock ball game is back on!

Perhaps I wasn't clear that stopping the Games was

just a diversion,

not the whiny baby tantrum it seemed like.

In the future, we will call it a halftime.

Now, go kick some ass. - [chuckles]

[crowd cheering]

- Room for one more? - [groans]

Are you gonna ruin this by talking?

The only thing I'll be talking is trash

because my sister is going to wipe the floor with your guys.

[players grunting]

[crowd cheering]

With time winding down, this could be the last play.

It would take a miracle for Stupendous to pull this off.

But we do live in an era of gods

and often irrational magic,

so literally anything is possible.

Come on, Stupe, you can do it!

[grunting]

Krapopolis wins!

[crowd cheering loudly]

That's my sister!

Yeah!

- All right! - Ah, yeah!

Well, these games were a lot more fun than I had expected.

And at this point, I'm probably drunk enough

to listen to whatever boring stuff you might want to say.

Wow. OK, this is fantastic.

You're gonna love my presentation.

Just need to get my model. One sec.

You all stay right here!

[laughing]

[all groaning and choking]

Wait, before you die,

would you have been amenable to a long-term

multi-city alliance? - [groans]

You would not believe the line at the kebab stand.

What did I miss?

Tyrannis, you'll never guess who the killer is.

- The blacksmith? - How did you--oh.

The good news is that I've learned enough about

human anatomy to make this all look like an accident.

Closing number time! Remember the new combination.

"Kick ball change, pop. Booty, booty, booty, booty."

Hello, Krapopolis!

And what are you--you are not having that baby now!

[baby crying] Suck it back in!

I'm proud of you, Stupendous.

For being amazing? Kind of comes natural.

Well, yes, for that.

But also because you did the one thing I never could,

made these games about something other than Mum.

Oh, for the love of-- just dance around--

dance around it! Better than that!

Sup? Sup? How you doing?

- Broseidon! - Oh, what's up?

- Who is that? - Broseidon.

- Am I supposed to care? - I don't know.

He's just one of those guys, famous for being famous.

There's no "there" there. - Hey, who said that?

Ay, who's talking smack?

Who's judging me? You don't know me.

- Who're you talking to? - Who are you talking to?

- Why are you upset? - Why are you upset?

You wanna dance with Broseidon?

I don't understand what's going on.

That's right, you don't.

None of you do. Come on.

Man, Broseidon's a dick.

Ay, who said that? You people don't know me!

I'm sorry I'm popular!

Doesn't mean I'm here for your abuse!

I'm a human being.

I'm Poseidon's nephew but I'm human!

I have a story, I have feelings!

I had a messed up childhood! - Ah, boo-hoo!

Nobody knows my pain!

And nobody would know Broseidon's pain.

And his pain continued forever.

And that is why we have four seasons.

Did you get any of that?

[dramatic whoosh]

Bento. [cheering]