Original subtitles

Larabee, this is the chief. Have you heard from max?

Larabee: no, I haven't, chief.

Did you give him the message That I wanted him to report

To me here in Chinatown immediately?

Larabee: I certainly Did. You know me, chief.

That's why I'm asking.

Never mind, larabee. I see him coming now.

Sorry I'm late, chief.

That's all right, max. How'd you make out?

Well, I checked out every Chinese restaurant in town.

No sign of the whip.

I checked out every chinese Laundry in town except that one.

I found no sign of him either.

That means they must be Using that one as a front, chief.

That's why I asked you to come Down here, I need your help.

Wait a minute. Look who's Coming down the street.

He does look familiar.

I'd better check him out In the mug book, chief.

Unless I miss my guess, That's kaos agent fu yung.

You're right, chief. Here It is right in the mug book.

"Born in new york's Lower east side.

As a child was always getting into Fights because of his first name."

What's his first name Got to do with it?

When you're raised in a Neighborhood like he was,

You have to learn how to Fight with a name like abe fu yung.

- I see what you mean. - bullies were always beating him up

And then he was coming back Again in a half hour for more.

He went right into that laundry. Max, I Think we found what we're looking for.

Now, plan four goes Into effect immediately.

You're to go around back, gain entrance And try to overhear what they're up to.

I'll stand there on the corner And pick 'em up when they come out.

Right, chief.

- what're you doing? - I'm calling larabee.

Larabee, plan four goes Into effect immediately.

I want you to drive to the corner Of 8th and water chestnut street,

- and establish a roadblock. - larabee: right, chief.

- ready, max? - let's go, chief.

I hate that stuff.

You are a fool, fu.

- but, whip, I... - silence.

You failed to bring me The information I seek.

I'm sorry. I wasn't able to Penetrate control headquarters.

You failed.

You know what that means?

Oh no, please. Not the whip, whip.

Yes, the whip.

Old chinese saying:

Punishment is Companion of failure.

That's enough.

Be glad I'm in a Happy mood today.

Why are you in such A happy mood today?

I'm going to have a control Agent kidnapped and brought here.

I intend to hypnotize him,

Send him back to control To do our work for us.

Why that's brilliant.

Centuries ago, this gong belonged to A noted chinese magician, ming chong ho.

When struck, it sends off Psychedelic light patterns

Which will instantly hypnotize Any person looking at it.

That person is then in my power.

That's fantastic.

I will give you a Visual demonstration.

But step back, I do not want You looking directly into it.

Anyone who looks into It will be hypnotized?

Instantly.

Now listen to me, mr. Smart.

you are completely in my power.

From now on, no Matter where you are,

no matter what you are doing,

When I telephone you And strike this gong,

you will immediately Do as I bid.

This condition will last For exactly 30 minutes

At which point you will Revert to your normal self

With no recollection whatsoever

Of having been Placed in a trance.

How do we know it'll work?

It can be easily proven.

In exactly five seconds, The spell will have worn off.

We will have our Proof very shortly.

It's the whip!

You rang, master?

- are you sure, max? - I'm positive, chief.

I'm telling you, Fu yung came in,

Dropped off his shirt, Picked up his laundry

And left by the back door.

I was certain he was there to Pick up or deliver information.

No, chief. Just shirts.

Max, I've got something In my wall safe.

this is what the whip is after.

You're kidding. That's fantastic.

I didn't know he Played the violin.

Chief: this is the narco 512.

I recognized it immediately.

A weapon so new that no One has ever seen it before.

How does it work, chief?

We're all familiar with the Shock wave of a sonic boom

Which occurs when an aircraft Breaks the sound barrier.

If we could take that energy And amplify it 10,000 times,

And confine it in a small area,

Can you imagine the Results you'd get?

A rock 'n' roll festival?

It's not quite that bad, max.

What're you doing?

I'm gonna take it over to the Pentagon, chief, where it'll be safe.

Max, don't you touch that.

The pentagon sent it Over here to be safe.

The plans have been destroyed,

And this is the only Working model in existence.

Until the whip is caught, This gun is our responsibility.

Well, I think they made A very wise decision.

With me guarding the narco 512,

It couldn't be in better hands.

I've got it.

Excellent. Open it up.

One won ton, one fried rice,

One chicken chow mien, egg roll.

If we had ordered for two, we Would've gotten sweet and sour ribs.

Never mind the sweet and sour Ribs, where are the fortune cookies?

Ah. Ha ha.

This innocent fortune Cookie is not so innocent

When it contains Instructions from kaos.

"You will lose your Lover through false..."

Fu yung, you incompetent dolt, You ordered the wrong dinner.

No master, I do as you say.

I ordered dinner number two.

Look at other fortune cookie.

You'd better be right.

"Narco 512 has Now been delivered

To control office."

- splendid. - first I will eat.

I do not want food to get cold.

You're going to Stop to eat... Now?

Of course. I certainly wouldn't Want to waste good food.

People are starving All over america.

You sure you wouldn't Like me to stay here

While you guard the narco 512?

No, that's all right, 99. You Go ahead and do your shopping,

I'll see you at the Apartment later.

- remember, max. - don't worry, chief, I won't forget.

I haven't told you what I Wanted you to remember yet.

Oh, that's right, I forgot.

You're not to leave this Office until larabee gets here.

I don't want the narco 512 Left unguarded for a second.

Don't worry About a thing, chief.

Control headquarters. Maxwell smart speaking.

Good afternoon, mr. Smart. Do you know who this is?

No, I don't.

Perhaps this will help you.

J arthur rank?

Mr. Smart,

That was the sacred Gong which triggered

The post-hypnotic suggestion Which I gave you yesterday.

Is that clear?

Huh?

Mr. Smart, you will now No longer be yourself.

You are now a man of wisdom,

Of infinite taste and ability.

Do you understand What I am saying?

Yes, master.

These are your instructions...

You will steal the narco 512

And bring it to me immediately,

And you will remember nothing.

Yes, master.

Max, you forgot To give me money.

What do you need Money for, my dear?

To go to the market to buy food.

I'm taking you out to dinner.

You are?

You don't suppose For one single moment

That I'd allow these Precious hands...

To wash dishes?

Max, you're acting very Strange. Are you all right?

Max, I don't know What's gotten into you,

But I just love it.

- yes, larabee? - huh?

What did you want?

I forgot.

Goodbye, larabee.

Can I watch while I'm Trying to remember?

Get out, larabee.

Wait a minute. Larabee Was supposed to relieve me.

I'd better go after him.

No, max, you can't leave The narco 512 unguarded.

I'll go get him.

that's max, all right.

Max: what do you mean, "That's max, all right"?

That couldn't possibly be me.

I didn't steal a farco 912.

It's not the farco 912, it's the narco 512.

Farco, narco, what's The difference?

I didn't steal Either one of them.

If this isn't you, then explain To me how this picture was taken.

Well, I'd say at about 1/60th of a second

With an f-8 lens.

I'm sorry, max, Photographs don't lie.

Okay, if I stole the narco 512,

Then where is it?

That's what I came Here to ask you.

Would you please Ask it and leave?

I can't stand around Here all day talking,

I have to pack and Skip the country.

- then you admit your guilt. - I don't admit anything.

I can't convince you that That's not me in the picture,

But I know it's not Me in the picture,

Because I don't even remember Taking the gun out of the safe.

Chief, that explains everything.

- explains what? - max's strange behavior.

- what strange behavior? - when I came back into the office,

You took me in your Arms and kissed me.

- I kissed you? - yes, when I asked you for money.

Oh, well that proves it Couldn't have been me, chief.

max!

To forget that you've Robbed a safe is one thing,

But to forget that You've kissed your wife,

I don't think that's very nice.

Max, the picture proves That you took the gun.

But the fact that you don't Remember taking it is what puzzles me.

Now there's only one way To get to the bottom of this.

Have you ever had Sodium pentothal?

Well, to tell you The truth, chief, no.

I think he's coming around, 99.

Max, are you all right, love?

What happened?

The control doctor gave you Some sodium pentothal... Truth serum.

You've been out For over an hour.

- did I talk? - yes, you did, love.

And we know everything we need To know and you're in the clear.

Then I didn't steal the Narco 512. That's good.

- you did steal it, max. - oh, that's bad.

Not necessarily. You Turned it over to the whip,

And in doing that, we now know where The whip's headquarters are located.

- oh, that's great. - that's really good.

Not necessarily, the whip may Smuggle it out of the country.

- oh, that's bad. - that's awful.

Not really, I took The precaution

Of removing the Computer programmer

Which makes the Narco 512 operative.

The whip is going to Have to contact you again

And try to hypnotize you to Get you to steal this programmer.

- oh, that's not so good. - that's rotten.

Actually, it isn't too bad.

We'll give you one of Control's new antihypnotic pills,

Which will make you immune To the whip's hypnosis.

- oh, that's great. - that's sensational.

I wouldn't count On it too much, max.

Remember, you're on your own,

And if the whip finds out That you're not hypnotized,

He'll kill you instantly.

- oh, I don't like that at all. - I hate it.

What we're asking you to do Is a very dangerous thing, max.

Are you sure you want To go through with it?

- you want the truth, chief? - yes.

I think you'd better Give me another shot.

See? Like I told you.

Gun is like wife's Brother, will not work.

I am most glad it doesn't, But I'm puzzled as to why.

This is only one of Its kind in existence.

You know what that means?

It means you cannot exchange it?

It means someone has Deliberately made this inoperable

By removing computer Programmer cassette.

Then the weapon is useless.

Like wife's brother.

But condition can be Rectified by telephone call

And sound of secret gong.

Hello, whip? Oh, It's you, larabee.

Give me that phone.

Larabee, what are you Doing calling on this line?

I just wanna tell you I'm Going to keep this line open

So the whip can get through.

Did it ever occur to you that if the Whip wanted to get through right now,

He couldn't because You're on this line?

Well, why do you think I'm going to keep it open?

- larabee, hang up the phone. - you too.

Max, the next time You pick up the phone,

Don't say, "Hello, whip."

You're not supposed to Know he's going to call.

I'm sorry, chief. I Guess I'm a little jumpy.

You have reason To be jumpy, max.

This is a very Dangerous assignment.

99, we're gonna take Every precaution possible.

Now, it's time For your pill, max.

What's this, chief?

It's an antihypnotic pill.

You'll be immune to any Form of hypnosis for 24 hours.

But won't they know max Hasn't been hypnotized?

Not if he's a good actor, 99, But as an added precaution,

I'm issuing max this pen gun.

It's equipped with a cartridge Of high-potency sleeping gas.

Oh, that's great, chief. I haven't Been sleeping too well lately.

It's not for you, Max, it's for the whip.

The whip hasn't been Sleeping too well lately?

Max, that must be the whip. Be Very careful what you say now.

Control headquarters.

Maxwell smart, please.

Speaking.

I tried to reach You a moment ago,

But the line was busy.

There is something I Would like you to listen to.

I'm listening.

Mr. Smart, you have just Heard the sacred gong

Which triggered the Post-hypnotic suggestion.

Do you understand, mr. Smart?

Yes, master.

Here are your instructions.

You will steal the computer Programmer cassette of the narco 512

And bring it to Me without delay.

Yes, master.

Well, it worked, chief.

The whip thinks I'm hypnotized

And instructed me to bring the Programmer computer cassette

Over to his office immediately.

Our plan is working. I'll get it out of the safe.

Come on, 99.

What're you two doing?

We don't have one of The three of us, chief.

- one what? - a photograph. Smile, 99.

Mr. Smart is here.

Show him in.

Fu yung: you may Enter, mr. Smart.

I thought you said when your Subject becomes hypnotized

He's extremely graceful.

You brought the Cassette, mr. Smart?

- yes, master. - may I have it, please?

Thank you, mr. Smart.

Now that I have no further Need for you, goodbye.

- you're leaving? - no, you're leaving.

You make a mistake, mr. Smart, You bring the wrong cassette.

Would you like to Try a glen campbell?

All right, mr. Smart.

It's quite obvious. You Are no longer in my power.

Then it should also be obvious

That you are under arrest.

Fu, kill him.

Hold it right there, fu.

Your pen is no match For my hatchet, mr. Smart.

This is no ordinary pen, fu.

I don't believe you.

And now, whip, it's your turn.

And now, mr. Smart,

I am going to whip you within an Inch of your life, unmercifully.

Max! Are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine, 99.

We waited as long as we dared. When we didn't hear from you,

We figured something Had gone wrong.

Don't worry, chief, the Situation is well in hand.

Not only did we manage To save the narco 512,

But we also captured abe Fu yung and the infamous whip.

What's the matter, chief?

What a strange looking gong.

It's fascinating. I'll bet It's thousands of years old.

that is the sacred gong that the Whip used to hypnotize his victims.

No kidding. How does it work?

When that gong is Struck by that hammer,

Certain magic psychedelic light Patterns appear in the victim's eyes

Causing him to fall Immediately under the spell

Of whoever it was Who struck the gong.

You mean like this?

Larabee, do you know what you Did when you struck that gong?

You hypnotized the Chief. He's in your power.

Is that right, chief?

Yes, master.

Well... Let's see.

Well, I wasn't a Raise, a few weeks off,

A new car,

And I think I would Like your office.

Yes yes, I'd like that.

You can take mine.

And I want the Location and the key

To the secret Executive washroom.

I'd like that. I'd love that.

And...