Original subtitles

Man: that you, smart?

- hathaway? - right.

- come on. - where are we going?

I've gotta close the front gate.

I only left it open for you.

- okay, now we can talk. - right.

Wait a minute. I think we'd Better talk over there.

Come on.

After three months Of working on this case,

I think I've got my first break.

- degrasse is definitely with kaos. - that's terrific, hathaway!

Keep it down!

Keep it down. Degrasse is in his office.

- he's working late tonight. - don't worry, I'll keep it down.

Shh...

Who's there?

It's me, mr. Degrasse... Hathaway.

What are you doing There after closing?

I... Well, I was, uh... Cleaning up a bit, sir.

and I knocked over a few pots.

I'm sorry.

You should be more Careful, hathaway.

I will.

We've got to work fast, max.

- get these to the chief right away. - what are they?

It's a list of Degrasse's customers.

When the chief sees these names, He'll break the case wide open.

- is there anything else I should know? - not right now.

Degrasse has been suspicious Of me for the last couple of days.

I can't take a chance Talking to anyone.

Get down.

Oh, hathaway, as long As you're still here,

Get me a sample of the compost

From around maricoba carnivorae.

- the what? - the big plant next to you,

The one that came in this Morning from the brazilian jungle.

Oh, the one over here.

- that one... - mm-hmm.

Get me the sample immediately.

Yes, sir.

All right, now hurry up. Get that list to the chief.

All right, now there's one thing I have to know before I go back.

What's the fastest way to get Back to control headquarters?

Should I take walnut street

Or should I take elm parkway?

You can't take walnut Street. It's a one-way street.

Well, I took it coming over.

Take elm parkway. Hurry up.

Come on.

Hathaway, did you Say elm parkway?

Hathaway? Hathaway, Where are you?

It's incredible.

This list contains the names Of some of the most important,

Influential government Officials in washington.

Well, that's why Hathaway wanted me

To get the list to you As fast as possible, chief.

If only hathaway Hadn't disappeared.

Well, let's look on the Bright side of things, chief.

It's a good thing that He gave me the list

Before he disappeared rather Than after he disappeared.

Max, what kind of Reasoning is that?

How could he possibly have given You the list after his disappearance?

He could've only given it to You before his disappearance!

Oh, yeah? How about During his disappearance?

Hi, max. Hello, chief.

Hello.

99, what are you doing here?

Well, you couldn't come home to Dinner so I brought dinner to you.

I spent two days making The lasagna sauce, max.

You didn't think I was gonna Let it go to waste, did you?

Sit down, I'll fix you a salad.

Well, that's very Nice of you, 99.

Isn't that nice of 99, chief?

Yes, that's very nice of 99.

- oh, thank you, chief. - mmm mmm mmm!

Smell that lasagna.

Would you like some, Chief? There's plenty here.

No thanks, 99.

Hi, everybody. I Hope I'm not late.

Larabee, what are You doing here?

I let you leave early because you Said you had a dinner engagement.

That's right. With the smarts.

Oh, you shouldn't have, larabee.

Max, look what Larabee brought us.

Oh, that's very Nice of you, larabee.

Isn't that nice Of larabee, chief?

Yes, that's very Nice of larabee.

Thank you, chief. Boy, I can't wait.

I could smell this lasagna Clear out in the elevator.

Well, I spilled a little of The sauce on the way up.

Every person on this list Either purchased a plant

Or had landscaping Done by algie's nursery.

That's very interesting, chief. Would You pass me a bread stick, please?

What do you think of it, max?

What? The bread stick? I haven't tasted it yet.

Not the bread stick, the list!

You don't expect Him to taste the list?!

Of course I don't expect Him to taste the list, larabee!

- how about you, 99? - chief, how do those plants

Tie in with the security Leaks that have been going on?

I don't think I can Answer that question, 99.

Oh, well, could you Open this bottle of wine?

- I'll open it for you, 99. - oh.

I'll be back in a minute.

- would you like some wine, chief? - I guess maybe I'd better.

- it's liebfraumilch. - liebfraumilch?

- that's a german white wine. - I know that.

Well, why would you Serve a german white wine

With italian food? They don't go together.

Well, it was bottled in 1943.

- what has that got to do with it? - they went together then.

Max, first thing Tomorrow morning,

I want you to go down to algie's Nursery and apply for a job.

What for, chief? I've already got a job.

- max, you don't understand me. - no, chief, you don't understand max.

What he says is true. He does have a job.

Maybe he does, Larabee, but you don't.

- yes? - max: mr. Degrasse?

Just a moment.

Come in.

Sit down, please.

Now what can I do for you?

I'm applying for a job.

I see. Do you have any Experience in nursery?

Oh, yes, I'm the Father of twins.

I mean, do you have any Experience in horticulture?

Uh, hor... Horticulture, y...

Oh, yes, a great deal of Experience in horticulture.

I went to college For four years.

Which college was that?

Huh?

Yes, which college. That would be... Harvard.

Harvard doesn't have Courses in horticulture.

Doesn't have courses in... Yes, well, that's probably

Why I didn't pass.

Somehow you don't Strike me as someone who...

Knows much about gardening.

Oh, really? I don't Know why you say that.

Everybody knows that us Japanese are great gardeners.

you are japanese?

That's right. My Name is yakimoto.

Is that your first Or your last name?

That's the whole thing.

What part of japan are you from?

Eh... The orient.

Well, actually, you see,

My mother was american, My father was japanese

And they brought me over here to this Country when I was just a small child.

Uh-huh.

Mr. Yakimoto, usually, I do not hire people

Without checking Their references,

But I happen to Need someone today.

The man who had Been working for me

Met with an accident last night.

Oh really? What Kind of an accident?

He had a most Unfortunate accident

With one of my rare trees.

- he was climbing it? - he was feeding it.

You may start Immediately if you want to.

You will find a coverall Under the checkout counter.

Oh yes, and incidentally, Most of my customers

Are important government people.

Should a congressman Or senator come in,

Please notify me immediately.

- I always attend to them... Personally. - yes, sir.

I'll be with you in a Moment, mr. Degrasse.

The african violet plant In senator conway's office

Is picking up a conversation About the new m-6 missile.

I'm recording it now.

Have we heard from the philodendron Which we sold to general mulhaire?

We've been lucky there.

He ordered it for his office

But had it moved to the War room in the pentagon.

Excellent.

Any more information Coming in over

- congressman whitney's fern? - it died.

Send the congressman a new fern

With our compliments.

And be sure the bugging Device is well-concealed.

This is maxwell Smart calling control.

Control headquarters, The chief speaking.

Chief, I've got the job.

Good, max. Now, you've got to Find out what the connection is

Between degrasse's customers

And the government Security leaks.

Right, chief.

Now max, this is a very Dangerous assignment.

If degrasse suspects you, your Life could be in great jeopardy.

I don't think there's anything To worry about, chief.

He was a little Suspicious at first

Until I gave him Cover story 3mb.

- he fell for it completely. - fine. Good luck, max.

3mb?

We haven't used that Since pearl harbor.

- will that be all, sir? - no.

I want to check On the man I hired.

Contact kaos headquarters,

Have them send me the photo file

On all control agents Stationed in washington.

How soon do you want that?

Not later than 5:00.

That's feeding time for The maricoba carnivorae.

Yakimoto...

May I ask... What do You think you're doing?

I'm just pruning this tree.

Aren't you Overdoing it a little?

Why do you say that?

Suppose a customer comes In and asks for a plant.

I can't sell him that.

No, but you could if He asked for a spear.

You are not going to Prune any more plants.

You're not going to Touch any of them.

You're just going To water them...

From a distance.

There's a customer. Would You please wait on her?

Yes, ma'am?

- what can I do for you? - it's me, max.

Oh, 99.

- what are you doing here? - max, you're in big trouble.

You're telling me, that's The 12th one I've broken today.

That's not what I mean, max.

The chief sent me Here to warn you

That degrasse has sent To kaos headquarters

For the control photo file.

The minute they see your Picture, you're through.

Aw, that's a shame. I was just Beginning to enjoy the job.

I don't mean through with the Job, max. I mean he'll kill you.

- you've gotta get out of here right away! - oh, I can't leave now, 99...

Max, your life is at stake!

You can't worry about Getting evidence now.

Who said anything about evidence? I have all these plants to water.

Max, you've gotta Get out of here

Before the courier gets Here with the photo file.

99, look.

That must be the kaos courier.

Max, we've gotta stop him before He gets that photo file to degrasse!

Right, 99. I'll distract Him and you jump him.

Max!

You distract him And I'll jump him.

Right, max.

Hi, tiger.

Hi.

Just a minute, Fella, can I help you?

Yes, I'm looking for Degrasse's office.

Oh, well, you're going In the wrong direction.

- it's over there. - what'd you do that for?

Forget it, fella, I'll find it myself.

99, this is the greatest control Catalogue I've ever seen in my life!

- why, max? - well, look at this!

They've got all the control Agents looking like flowers.

Max, those are flowers.

This isn't a control photo File, this is a seed catalogue!

Well, what would a kaos courier Be doing with a seed catalogue?

Because he's not a kaos Courier, he's a seed salesman!

Oh. Well, 99, if this Man identifies us,

We could be in a lot of trouble.

I wouldn't worry about it, max.

I don't think he Can see too well.

This is from kaos headquarters.

It was delivered with The fertilizer shipment.

Larabee: where'd that Plant come from, chief?

From congressman Whitney's office.

He bought it at algie's nursery,

And degrasse was a little too Eager to replace it when it died.

- what are you looking for? - if my hunch is right,

There'll be a bugging device Hidden here somewhere.

Well, I guess I'm wrong. All right, get rid of it.

- larabee, look! - don't worry, chief, I'll clean it up.

I'm not talking about that. You've found the microphone.

- I did? - sure, look at the roots.

There's a microphone Connected to it.

No wonder it died, That's a radio microphone.

What's that got to do with it?

Well, everybody knows Radio is dead, chief.

All right, larabee. You know what to do.

Yes, but I don't think that's Going to do any good, chief.

- you don't? - no.

- you sure about that? - I'm positive about it.

We are talking about The same thing, aren't we?

- I certainly hope so. - so do I, larabee. So do I.

What do you think We're talking about?

What do you think We're talking about?

- I asked you first. - I said, "You know what to do,"

And you said you didn't Think it would work.

- that's right. - what didn't you think would work?

- watering this plant. - I knew it, I knew it,

You got the wrong thing. I Wasn't talking about the plant,

I wanted you to get max On the phone immediately.

- oh, well, that might do some good. - larabee...

How old do you think I am?

- about 63, 64. - I thought so.

- why, how old are you? - I'm 42.

- you don't look it. You look 63... - get out, larabee.

Max, look at the wonderful Plants I got for our apartment.

99, this is no time To be shopping.

But, max, I'm keeping my eye Open for the kaos courier.

I can't just stand around. I've Got to look like a customer.

- how much money did you spend? - well, in this cart I'd say...

What do you mean, in that cart?

Oh, there are four other Carts I've already filled outside.

99, you take all that stuff Right back where you...

- your hose is ringing. - I know it, 99.

Hello?

Turn the spigot off.

This is algie's nursery, Smart speaking.

Max, this is the chief. We've just Discovered how algernon degrasse

Has been planting Listening devices

In the offices of top Government officials.

- that's great, chief. - I want you to place him under arrest

- and bring him in immediately. - I can place him under arrest,

But I can't bring Him in immediately.

- why not? - I don't get off until 5:00.

Max, that job is just a cover! You don't need it anymore!

I don't, huh? You should See what 99 just spent.

Max, if you don't do As I say, you're fired.

That's an idle threat, Chief. You'd never fire me.

Oh no? What makes You so sure I wouldn't?

Because according to seniority,

If I get fired from Control, larabee moves up.

How soon after 5:00 can You get degrasse over here?

As soon as I can, Chief. Goodbye.

What are we gonna do now, max?

Well, the first thing we're gonna Do is take all that stuff back.

Then I'm going into Degrasse's office and say...

Degrasse: put your hands up.

And then I'm going to Put the cuffs on him.

Did you want to see me about Something, mr. Degrasse?

There's a very Interesting picture of you

In the control file, mr. Smart.

- thank you. - but why were you sitting on a pony?

It was taken on his birthday.

I'm going to kill you.

Just a moment. You think you're Very clever, don't you, degrasse?

What do you mean?

I've been breaking my back Here since 9:00 this morning,

And you think you're going To get off without paying me.

Well, you're wrong... You're going to pay me.

And then you can kill me.

- ah! - oof!

- which way, max? - back to the greenhouse.

Come come, mr. And mrs. Smart.

You'll never get Out of here alive.

Besides, I know exactly Where you are hiding.

- you're in the midst of the poison ivy. - poison ivy?

Max, what's that?

He's hitting the Fertilizer bags above us.

- what are you doing? - I'm gonna turn this fan on.

What good is that gonna do, max?

Well, when the Fertilizer hits the fan,

It'll blow all over the place And give us a chance to get away.

Good thinking, max!

Come on, 99. Now's our Chance to get away.

Max, look!

- max, 99, are you all right? - yes, we're fine, chief,

But that's more than I can Say for algernon degrasse.

So that's what Happened to hathaway.

Larabee, confiscate that plant.

I can't do that, Chief. I'm not a priest.

Confiscation doesn't have Anything to do with religion.

Take that tree and get It down to headquarters!

Right, chief. Where Would you like me to put it?

Right next to your desk.