Original subtitles

How did I get committed?

It's not like it runs in my family.

My parents had a way of moving on from things...

Including each other.

But I think some people are just made from different Clay.

Some people are born with a knack for faith.

Like a big flashlight between their eyes.

They're not afraid of permanence.

They're right at home with it.

And when it comes to bonding with another human soul,

they're gonna consider that bond sacred.

I think I was always one of these people.

It just took me a while to realize...

Because I never knew anyone else who was.

I once heard that whenever nuns are about to take a sacred vow,

they lie down on the church floor...

And pray for the strength to see it through.

Well, that's just what I did.

And if it had been up to me,

that would be the end of this story.

Joline?

Carl, you're not supposed to see me before the wedding.

- God, you look beautiful. - Thanks

but you're not supposed to be in here.

- It's bad luck. - Really?

What happened to your flower thingy?

I was holding it for good luck...

And 'cause it reminded me of you, being a Daisy and all.

- I love daisies. - I know. That's why I got it.

But now I've kind of crushed it.

I just love you so much.

Hey... how you guys doin'?

- Fine. - Is everybody here?

Yeah... uh, they're waiting.

- What's up? - How you doin'?

- Jo! Jo! - Hey, chicky, what's up?

- What's up is, I need to talk to you about the love army. - Yeah?

Yeah, see, the situation is that Matt and Dewey just got booked on a space ass tour in Japan.

Don't tell me that, chicky. Don't tell me you let half your band go to Japan.

No, I didn't let 'em go. They had to go.

There's just so much money over there, you know?

- It's a lot of yen. - Don't talk to me about yen, chicky.

You guys have been booked here for three months. You begged me for this booking.

- Remember? - I know, I know, I know. And I'm very pissed off.

Especially because I asked them not to take Rufus our drummer, and they took him!

So, is anyone left in the band?

- Of course. Me. - Oh, chicky, don't tell me that.

- Don't toy with me. - Wh-what do you mean?

Well, I booked the love army. It's not supposed to be one guy. It's supposed to be... an army.

I know, but you know I'm an accomplished bass player, Jo.

You're a great bass player. That's not what I'm saying. Do you even sing?

- No, not-not really. - Do you sing in the shower?

Jo, I'm a really, really, fucking amazing bass player.

Yeah, I already acknowledged that.

So, you gonna cancel the gig?

Did I promise you this gig?

- Yes. - Then do you have this gig?

Yes.

You are the love army now.

Joline, you are the cream.

- You guys are still here? - I'm still on break.

I'm trying to flirt with your brother, but I can't tell if it's working.

- Is it working? - Yeah, it's working pretty good.

Hey, Jo, did you see this souffle shot Carl took?

Yeah. Do me a favor and don't mention it to him, okay?

- Why not? - 'Cause, you know, he just wants to shoot news,

and they keep giving him these food assignments.

Well, food can be news. Like that series he just did on pies.

I had no idea there were so many pies.

What I mean is, he wants to be on the front line, shooting current events.

You know, and, uh, like history unfolding.

All these pies and souffles have been really getting him down.

So I'm throwing him a surprise birthday party,

and I really hope you guys can come.

Hey, didn't he just have a birthday?

That was almost eight months ago,

and I think he could really use one now.

- Sean, you can't keep spending your whole set in the bathroom like that. - Sorry.

Well, Jo, it's really sweet of you to try and cheer up Carl like this.

He's done it for me a hundred times.

Yeah, well, if he's still mopey after the party,

I know a lot of really upbeat guys you mightjust like.

- Oh, here we go. - Excuse me.

Meg, have you ever heard of "for better or for worse"?

Now, do you think that means for as long as you both shall live...

Or do you think that means for as long as you're both fun?

As long as you should live, Meg.

- How long do you think she's gonna be like this? - It's been a couple of years.

Forever, Meg. For eternity.

Because, you know, some words really mean what they mean,

and some people really mean what they say, and my word is "eternal."

So does that mean you're still gonna give me tomorrow night off even though we're sold out?

Did I say I was gonna give you tomorrow night off?

I like it.

Wait for me.

Phil. Banana.

God bless.

Carl?

Hi, Jo, it's Carl.

It looks like I won't be back right away, you know,

'cause they want me to shoot a pancake breakfast out here tomorrow.

I guess when I told them I was interested in photo-journalism,

they thought, uh, that's what I meant.

So, uh, I'm sorry, Jo. I'm just a little down,

and I'm hoping some time alone will do me good.

And I just wanted to check in and say, you know, [love you.

Hello?

- Oh, sorry I woke you up. - That's okay. What's going on?

- Nothing. - Where's Carl?

J“ what is a teenager's prayer j“

Do you know how long Carl's gonna be gone?

'Cause if it was up to me, you could stay over as long as you want, but I do have roommates.

J' j' - Do you think, um, that your roommates are still up?

I don't know. Maybe.

- J' j' - —are they still a couple?

'Course. A totally solid couple. Why?

'Cause I was thinking that maybe I could sleep in Jenny's bed...

And Jenny could sleep with Mimi in her room.

Yeah, sure. Or she could sleep wherever.

What do you mean, wherever?

Well, she could sleep wherever she wants to.

She's a grown woman. It's her decision where she wants to sleep at night.

She isn't sleeping with you, is she, Jay?

No. Not all the time.

I never go into her room. She always comes into my room.

And half the time I'm asleep already, so it's just about the snuggling, you know?

And sometimes it's really good to snuggle.

I thought you said that she and Mimi were a totally solid couple?

They're an amazing couple. You know, I love Mimi.

I mean, there's nothing I could do that could lessen what they have...

Because it's so... honest, you know, and rich and deep...

Just deeply, deeply, deeply rich.

Would you stop looking at me?

Hey, Jo, did you check out Jenny's new line?

- Gmm. - Thank you. I'm gonna start selling 'em.

It's really pretty different from what anyone else is doing.

Right? It's like... fabulous...

- Hey, meem. - Hey, meem.

Good morning. Did you see who's in there?

- Hey. - Joline.

There's, uh, rats in her apartment.

Usually Carl takes care of them, but he's away on business, right, Jo?

So... she's here.

- Do you want some coffee, Mimi? - Sure.

Thanks.

Oh, my god. Is that your wedding ring, that tattoo?

- Yeah. - Does Carl have one like it?

- Carl has eczema. - What?

Eczema. It's a— A disorder of the skin.

You know, Jenny has a wedding ring. Don't you, Jen?

Really?

Well, not like that. Mine's a normal one.

- It's in storage. - Wow. I didn't...

I didn't even know that you were married. That's-that's pretty wild.

- Mind-boggling, isn't it? - Yeah, actually.

Well, I don't know if it's mind-boggling or not.

But I'm just glad it's over. No offense, joline.

- What's that got to do with me? - Well, you know,

you're married and you're into it and that's cute and that's fine.

But for me, marriage was just some nice place to visit,

and I definitely wouldn't want to live there.

Well, since joline lives there,

- why don't we talk about something else? - And since I have been there,

[have a really hard time understanding why anybody else wants to go there.

Just being honest.

Except you weren't really there yourself.

Didn't I just say that I was?

Well, you said you were visiting. It's not about visiting.

It's about the opposite of visiting.

You know what, you guys? Actually, you two don't want to talk about this.

You know, lots of people visit, Jo, okay?

Your parents. My parents. You're gonna say none of us were actually married?

I'm not saying you didn't walk down the aisle and say the vows.

I'm just saying, you must have had something else on your mind at the time.

- Like what? - Jenny, shut the fuck up!

Listen, you guys, I don't need to stay here.

But thanks for last night. That was a real lifesaver.

- You sure? - Yeah. I should be getting home.

And I should be there when Carl gets back.

Uh, are you sure you're gonna be all right?

- Yeah. And you? - Yeah, it's just— this is really...

This is good, actually.

J“ these things they don't come overnight j'

j“ loving you, baby I

J“ let me say j'

j' before I forget I

j' loving you, baby is where it's atj' j'

Carl?

Whoa, check it out.

How do you react to a crisis of faith?

Especially if it's your first one.

You're not even sure what it means.

Love army. Name of this song is "love army blues."

Thank y'all.

It's tempting at first to distract yourself.

So you focus on your other commitments.

You just try to act normal, like everything's okay.

- —Mmm. - Excuse me.

Sorry.

J" j'

- Chick, chick. - It goin' really, really well.

- You guys hangin' in? Doin' your thing? - Doin' our thing.

Cup, chips, food.

Anybody else would've called off the party, you know?

- Not Jo. - I know, not Jo. That's what I'm saying.

Hey, Jo. Cake looks good.

Is that from Carl?

What's it say?

"Dear, Jo, I couldn't stay in New York.

And not just because I couldn't keep taking pictures of bullshit.

It went much deeper than that. Please don't take this personally.

It's not your fault if I'm such a confusing mess.

I will write you a real letter soon so that this will hopefully all make sense.

Until then, please know how much this hurts me too. Love always, Carl."

Did he even say where he went?

"The prickly pear cactus soaks up the afternoon sun."

That doesn't tell you much.

You can't read the postmark, either.

Hey, shh, shh, shh.

J' j“

Everybody should have some. It's made with three different kinds of chocolate,

and... I think people are really gonna like it.

This really is a good thing, Jo.

I mean, at least now you know what he's about, right?

I mean, you dodged a bullet— A big, hairy bullet.

Got some dope if you need some.

People think I'm a dick. Fucking Carl, man.

Jo. Jo, come on out.

Jo, you should be with your friends now.

It's better out here, Jo.

You want us to come in there? We're gonna come in now, okay?

- Hey, how's it going? - What are you doing?

Oh, you know, like I locked my keys in my car like a dope, you know?

- I just wasn't paying attention. - That's chicky's car.

Chicky? No, no, no. Chicky?

- No. - What are you doing?

What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?

You know— I don't know. I've been in this fog lately.

I've been in this thick fucking fog, and I just can't seem to...

I just can't get out of it, you know? I've been trying to get to my mother's...

Out on long island, you know, to get clean.

And if I could get the money to get out there, you know, I could get my shit together.

You know what I'm saying? I could get it right. I could get right.

No sweat, you know...

You never know how your faith is gonna come back to you.

It could be something completely ridiculous.

Maybe that's the whole point...

To stop asking whether somebody deserves your faith or not...

And do it for its own sake.

I mean, who's it really for, anyway? Them or you?

Why are you staring at me like that?

How much is a bus to long island?

Jesus, um, I don't know. Thirty five, maybe forty bucks.

This for real?

See ya.

I had no way of knowing...

If that guy really would go out to long island and get clean.

I just felt like taking a leap of faith.

And it felt great.

- Whoa! - All right, I want to say something.

Can you turn that down?

Now, some of you have been saying some things here tonight.

But I don't wanna hear any more of that stuff again, all right?

Don't talk shit about my husband.

Okay, now does anybody know where my husband is?

- I heard he went out west. - I know he went out west.

Does anybody know anything more specific?

No? Okay. Well, this is a party.

So now we're gonna dance, all right?

J" me and baby brother I

j“ gonna run together j'

j“ me and baby brother j“

j“ gonna run together j'

j“ hey, hey, hey, heyj'

j“ work for one another j“

j“ j“

Do you even know that most people in your situation...

Wouldn't care where Carl is?

I mean, who is your example?

I know it wasn't mom or dad.

Was it those people who lived behind us on grove?

Why do I need an example? I've never known any successful surfers,

but does that mean I need to be ignorant about surfing for my entire life?

No. No.

I just think that you're being really amazing about all this.

I think that you're really, really amazing.

Thanks, Jay. You too.

Jay, I'm married.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Plus I'm your sister.

I know.

- That was really wild. - Yep.

Texas.

I read somewhere that the reason most relationships break down...

Is that each partner is waiting for the other one to fix it.

But if you want somebody to stand by you always,

you have to be willing to do the same for them,

even when they're acting like an idiot.

I figured if! Spent wisely and made good use of coupons,

I had enough money to cover two regular size states or one big one.

Everything kept pointing to Texas.

I believe people know a lot more than they think they know,

and sometimes you can coax out the information...

In seemingly random ways.

Even though I couldn't read that postmark,

I was pretty sure the state had five letters,

and there aren't any cactuses in Idaho or Maine.

Also, I've heard Texas is one of those states...

Where lost people go to get more lost.

Have you seen this man?

That's supposed to be a statistical fact.

Thanks.

Probably because it's so big.

J“ j“

J“ j“

J“ j“

Dang.

I read somewhere that your average stranger...

In the desert can be five times scarier than the ones you see in New York.

I wish I could say that's false.

J“ j“

I see you.

- Don't take my purse, sir! - Ow!

Ohh!

One punch.

Mike!

You done fucking around with her yet? Come on, let's go!

- Now! - Just a sec.

- Mike! - I'm coming.

No, better yet, since you like blondie there so much,

you can stay here with her.

- Fuck you! - Wait. Wait for me.

- You're such a prick. Fuck you. - Hold on.

I was out there workin' hard for you. I got you rings and stuff.

Fuckin' don't wanna see anything you got. You are such a fuckin' prick!

No, no, wait, wait, wait. Loo-loo-look.

Look at this one I got you.

Or-fay-ou-yay. Look.

An k-tha-ou-yay.

Our yay-elcome-way.

You guys all right, sir? You guys stuck?

Can you hand me that purse?

Just give her the fucking purse, man.

Let go of my hand.

Let go of my hand.

Thank you.

- Hey, where are you now? - Texas.

Yeah? How is it?

It's intense. Interesting... but intense.

So, Meg, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

- Okay. Bye. - Bye.

Excuse me, sir.

Are you gonna be using the coupon section of that?

Thank you so much.

Yeah, it's joline from 101.

- Can you hold? - Yeah, I'll hold.

Oh, my god.

That's great, sir! Thank you!

You would think I couldn't wait to make contact with Carl.

But something told me to hang back...

And give that man some space.

He's not ready yet.

I think that's the hardest part of any relationship...

Knowing when to create a space between you and your partner...

And knowing how big a space it should be.

You just have to go with your instincts.

Hey!

Whatcha doing?

Nothing. Am I bothering you?

No, no, not at all.

Just, uh, arousing my curiosity.

J“ j“

Why don't you come in for a beer?

No, thank you.

Okay, I'll bring them out here.

Hey.

- Here's yours. - No, thank you.

Mmm. By the way, my name is, uh, Niko.

And, or you can call me, uh, Neil or, uh...

Ah, who cares?

Uh, [make stuff out of, uh, newspaper...

And paper towels and, of course, varnish and glue.

And, uh, [guess that's obvious, huh?

I just drove out from New York in this rented car to find my husband...

Who lives in that blue and white house right there...

And to make sure he's okay but not to stalk him or anything.

Okay.

And I don't want him to see me yet, not till he's ready.

Hey, your secret's safe with me.

I appreciate that.

So, uh, you're married to the guy in that house, huh?

- That's right. - J' j“

Man! Him of all people, huh?

- You know him? - Nope.

Listen, uh...

What do you say, uh, you come into my humble abode over there?

It's messy, but it's, uh, cozy, you know? Sexy kind of messy.

- I just told you, I'm married. - Yeah, I know, I know.

Well, may I tell you that that is just a huge turn-on for me?

- Come on. - No, no, no. I'm serious.

Women who are so devoted to their husbands...

They turn me on like you wouldn't believe.

Isn't that kooky?

- Yes, it's very kooky. - I know, but I can't help it, you know?

Listen, that's-that's, that's not your problem.

It's my problem, and I should have kept it to myself.

- Yeah, you should've. - Yeah, I know.

- I will from now on. - Thank you.

You're welcome.

Seriously, though, you want a beer?

Come on.

Sir? I'm joline O'Neill-howell.

I'm Carl's wife. Carl howell. He's a photographer here.

Oh, of course. Of course. Come in.

I'm Terry. You'll have to forgive me.

- I must've had my brain on pause when Carl mentioned you. - Don't worry about it.

Par for the course, I'm afraid. Have a seat.

So... Carl's better half.

Well, here, meet mine.

Since June. That's Suzanne.

Oh, she's stunning.

- Oh, yeah. - She looks very happy.

I hope so. They say three's the charm.

Three for her, that is. First time for me.

Whole new ball game for me. Your last chance.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Shucks, I wish I had known you were coming.

I just sent Carl out to shoot.

- I could've held him back a few minutes. - Can I ask what?

- Beg your pardon? - Can I ask what he's shooting?

I believe he's covering a chili cook-off over in cornudas.

- Isn't that right, Ben? - Yeah, cook-off.

- Uh-huh. - Are you kidding?

No, I don't believe I am.

Couldn't you find someone else to do that?

Well, it happens that car! Is doing it.

I'm sure he'll handle it very well.

I've found that he does excellent work with food.

Well, I'm not telling you your job. I'm sure you're very good at it, in most ways.

- Thank you. - I'm just passing on some information...

Which I think would help you in your decision,

- which is how big Carl's talent is. - I see.

Carl considers himself to be a photographer of life and human truth.

Like that. Easily as good as that. Better, even.

Like, you see this cow? Carl would have nailed the focus on that cow.

And Carl's compositions, they kick these compositions' ass.

No offense. I mean, if they're your shots.

Are they your shots?

Listen, I wouldn't be telling you any of this,

but Carl's going through a really, really hard time right now.

And I can only imagine this chili-cheesecake thing is making it ten times worse.

I thank you for letting me know.

Carl was here on a trial basis.

So any information I can get, well, I surely appreciate it.

Now I'm afraid I have a lot of work to do.

I hope I didn't say too much.

I believe you expressed yourself very well.

Well, did I make it clear how much Carl must really love and value this job?

Because I'm sure he wouldn't take it if he didn't love and value most things about it.

I'll bear that in mind. I'll be sure to let him know you stopped by.

- I-I think it would be better if you didn't. - Whatever you like.

In fact, you could disregard most of what I said if you want.

Oh... I don't think that's likely.

- He really is a great photographer. - Yeah, you mentioned that.

Really, really great.

Carl!

Jofine?

Ahhhh!

What has violence ever really solved?

The real challenge is working through those violent urges...

Whatever it takes.

Yeah, man.

J“ j“

J“ j“

Uno mas.

J“ j“

Hey!

You're blocking my uncle's truck!

Is your battery dead?

I don't have any jumping cables. Do you?

You got triple a?

Well, let's go inside then. We'll use my card. They won't know.

I'm supposed to be at work right now, but fuck it.

The other girls show up late all the time.

- Is that Mexico? - Yeah, that's the border.

Rio grande. Oh, shit. They put me on hold.

You seem really nice.

Thanks. You too. Have a seat.

Have you known Carl a long time?

- You know Carl? - Yeah.

I met him a few weeks ago, right after he moved here.

How do you know him?

I'm his wife.

Sorry to keep you waiting. How can I help you?

I had no idea. I swear I had no idea about this.

You must believe me.

I believe you.

What a drag, man!

I can't believe I'm with a fucking married man again!

Shit!

Okay, consciously, I didn't know he was married.

But subconsciously, did I know?

- I don't know. - Well, [must have.

'Cause I swear this shit happens to me nonstop.

I feel it's a self-esteem thing. I mean, I've read that.

I put a banana in your gas tank.

What?

I put a banana in your gas tank last night.

- I'm sorry. - What does that do?

I don't know.

Damn it, t-Bo! Just because I wouldn't give you a key!

- I know he was here last night. - So?

So, how am I supposed to react to that?

React any way you want. It's none of your business.

How's that for a reaction? Is that a good reaction?

I'm sorry, Carmen, okay?

You know I'd never hurt you. You know that.

But that guy— I swear to Christ,

I'd like to tear his New York fucking guts out!

The New York fucking nerve of that fuck!

Dios mio.

What'd you say?

Nothing.

You must've said something.

I didn't.

Well, then say something.

Come on, Carmen, say something.

I have nothing to say to you.

That's just not possible.

Yes, it is, t-Bo.

I have nothing to say to you.

Nothing. Nada.

But we've felt things. You know— you know we have.

You are one frustrating woman,

but I swear to Christ I love you.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Is he your husband?

My husband? He's not even my boyfriend.

Maybe I slept with the guy like, what, seven, eight times, maybe.

Carmen, listen to me. There is something very wrong with him.

- No shit. - You need to talk to him...

And resolve your relationship as soon as possible.

I don't even know where he lives.

The restaurant where I work is on his truck route...

So, you know, he just comes in whenever he's in town.

- Does he know where Carl lives? - I don't know. Why?

Because he said he's gonna tear Carl's New York guts out, that's why.

Wow. You're worried about Carl?

Well, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty mad at him, but I don't necessarily want him dead.

Was it tempting to let that guy tear Carl's New York guts out?

You bet. I was seeing a whole new side of Carl...

That I didn't much appreciate.

But who was gonna look out for Carl?

Who made a vow to protect him in good times and in bad?

A t that moment, I might have wished it was someone else.

But it wasn't. It was me.

So, uh, how long are you gonna stay out here this time?

I don't know. I'm curious to see if he goes to work in the morning.

- Why wouldn't he? - I just want to make sure.

J“ j“

Hey, joline,

can I just tell you some of the stuff I would do to you...

If you would break your conjugal vows and have sex with me?

- Neil, come on! - Mmm. I'm not saying we'd ever do them.

- I just wanna tell you about them. - Forget it.

- You sure? Pretty sexy. - Neil.

Don't answer now. Just— Just think about it, okay?

Okay, good. Now... close your eyes.

- No way. - Hey, just-just close your eyes.

I won't do anything. Hmm? Good.

J“ but it don't look like rain j“

j“ and if it snows that stretch down south j'

j“ won't ever stand the strain j“

j“ and I need you more than want you j“

now what am I doing?

J“ and I want you for all time j“

I have no idea.

- But I think you better stop it. - J“ and the Wichita lineman j“

j“ is still on the line j'

I'm asking you to stop it now.

Whatever it is that, that you're doing.

Why don't you open your eyes?

I'll open them when, when you stop it.

J“ and I need you more than want you j“

-j“ and I want you for all time j“ - okay.

J“ and the Wichita lineman j'

j“ is still on the iinej' j“

did you tell Carl about that t-Bo guy?

Yeah, I told him. But I also told him I didn't want to see him anymore,

which might have prevented the t-Bo thing from sinking in.

Maybe it did sink in. I don't know.

- You didn't tell him about me being here, did you? - No. Should I have?

No. No. What about his job?

- What about it? - Do you know if he still has it?

Well, we didn't talk about his job? Why? Ramon!

No reason.

By the way, your brother called this morning. Gracias, Ramon.

Oh, yeah, I told a few people they could, uh, reach me through you if they had to.

- I hope you don't mind. - I don't mind. We had a nice talk.

Did he say when I should call him back?

- Actually, he was calling for me. - For you?

Yeah, he wanted to know what I thought about this whole situation.

- Ohh! - Oh. Sorry.

What did you say?

Well, he asked me if you've seen Carl yet,

and I told him you have but Carl hasn't seen you,

which we both agreed was sort of weird.

He'll see me when he's ready. There's no point in pushing him.

I guess we were just concerned that the relationship was,

you know, maybe just a little one-sided.

- It's not at all one-sided. - You still want those chips?

- Guess not. - I would fully expect him to stand by me...

If I was going through something like this.

- I would fully expect that. - Really?

- Of course. - God, you make the whole thing sound so spiritual.

Like as if he's from Tibet or something. Sit.

Well, I've never been to Tibet.

Can I ask you, what are you planning to do while you're waiting for Carl to be ready?

Are you just gonna, like, hang around here and spy on him?

Not spy. Just keep an eye on him, a protective eye.

- Oh. What about this afternoon? - What about it?

I got somebody I think you should meet.

You see, me, I could never really understand all this hocus-pocus,

even though I grew up around it and it's supposed to be in my blood.

But you're different. You have a real knack for it, I can tell.

Hola, grampy.

This is my new friend joline. Joline, this is cinco.

She can call you cinco, right, grampy?

People can call me whatever they like. It's not my concern.

It's an honor, Mr. Cinco, sir.

Carmen told me all about you and your, your very special powers.

She just needs a little help, grampy. Easy help.

She's having some trouble with her husband.

Carmen tells me that your wife was a very powerful person too.

- Yes. - And that she taught you all her secrets.

I didn't ask her to. Now I can't get a minute of peace.

Everyone wants me to fix this, to fix that.

Um, grampy, I brought you some Pepsi.

Get some glasses, then.

Nice place.

I got a big rattlesnake over there in the can.

Why don't you bring him to me. I miss him.

- A real rattlesnake? - Mm-hmm.

But I put a spell on him, so don't worry.

Hey, get out of there! Put that lid back on!

- You don't have to make fun of her, grampy. - Who's making fun?

Did you see the faith this girl's got in me?

I don't get that from some of my own grandchildren.

Don't start with me, grampy.

Hey, cut it out!

And you know what? I'm not gonna give you Pepsi now.

Come over here.

Sit down.

Thanks.

Breathe there.

Again.

It will take a while.

And you should see all these rituals that they have, and everyone knows what they mean.

And nobody has to make up their own meanings for things, because the meanings are already there.

They're there before you're born, and they'll be there after you die.

And they really mean what they mean, you know? There's no question.

Just like the sky is blue or that house is pink, whether it's me looking at it or you.

- J“ j“ - Yeah, except that house is not pink.

It's more like, uh, salmon.

Shhh. Neil!

Tsk.

- Hey, Jay! - Texas!

Hi. Um...

I'm-I'm gonna go inside for a while.

- And, um, let me know if you need me. - Thanks, Neil.

- See ya. - See ya, Neil.

Well, how did you find this place?

Carmen drove me.

J“ in the corners of your dreams j“

look, Jay, it is great to see you.

But I-I don't really have time to go out and have fun and stuff.

Okay, listen, Jo. I think you should come home and just call this off.

-J“ he went away j“ - I do. Serious.

Hi. My mom made this.

Oh, thanks, Toby. Hey, this is my brother Jay. This is Toby.

- He lives in that pinkish, salmonish house right there. - Hi.

- Hello, young Toby. - Um, we're just having a private conversation.

- Okay. Okay. - So I'll talk to you later.

- Tell your mom thanks. - Okay.

So...

There are certain things that I really like about Carl.

But I'm not sure that he's worth all of this.

- You think this is a question of worth? - No, I just mean that maybe...

What if Carl was confined to a wheelchair? What if he lost both his legs?

Do you think I would just drop him and choose someone...

With good legs, so-called worthwhile legs,

after I made a lifelong vow to him...

In front of you and god and a bunch of other people?

He's not in a wheelchair, Jo. I mean...

It's an analogy, Jay, and maybe he's in a spiritual wheelchair.

- He's in a spiritual wheelchair? - Jay.

Look, you obviously don't understand,

and I obviously can't make you understand,

so... I think you should exit this car.

Oh, come on, Jo.

You're my brother, and I love you and you're unique.

But I think you should exit this car.

Man, I'm in Texas.

Ohhh, man.

It gets so frustrating sometimes. It's hard to stay on track.

It helps me to talk to somebody who can understand.

Hmm.

- How do you do that? - Do what?

- I thought they could kill you. - Oh, not me.

I started scratching my skin with rattlesnake fangs...

When I was younger than you.

First time, I scratched just a little.

Second time, I scratched harder and got a little blood.

Third time, harder... And so on and so forth.

Some people go for the big bite, first thing.

- Don't those ones get killed? - Some of them, sure.

But the ones that live, they get to be the instant handlers.

They get the instant benefit, the—the instant power.

Not like me.

I have to be very patient, because I'm, I'm not that brave.

Well, I wouldn't call that brave. I'd call it stupid.

Well, I guess it's one of those things you can look at either way.

Sorry.

Here. I put a lime in it.

- Oh, great. Thanks. - Sure.

So, you know, I think the thing that's bugging me is just that she...

You know, now she won't talk to me.

I mean, why is Jay the bad guy? Why are there bad guys?

Well, I guess you're just gonna have to wait until she's ready.

There's no point pushing her.

Hey, waitress, is that my Margarita?

I'm just worried about her, I guess.

I know. I think that's really sweet that you're worried.

I think that you guys are a really sweet family.

And spiritual. I bet you're spiritual too.

- Really? - Yeah.

So you don't think, like,

I'm in a spiritual wheelchair or anything like that?

No. Do you think I am?

Oh, no, no. No, you're definitely not.

Can [please have my Margarita?

Look, I'll be right back.

There she is.

Okay. Think she can see us?

How will she know it's us? It's a rental car.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

I just didn't want her to think that we're, you know,

checking up on her or anything.

Well, aren't we, kind of?

No, we're just, uh, you know, we're just watching out for her.

I mean, that's different.

Hey... do you see that?

Roll forward a little.

- Wait. She'll see us. - Come on, just a little.

All right.

J“ j“

Oh, my god.

It looks like joline.

Yeah, it does, and that's the guy!

Do you think she's watching?

Uh... no, no.

Why not? She's got a perfect view.

Yeah, joline's pretty serious about her vows.

That isn't breaking her vows just to watch. Is it?

Uh, well, I guess that depends on if he knows she's watching or not.

How so?

Well, if he knows she's watching,

then they're connected in the act, right?

But if he doesn't know she's watching,

then he might as well just be up there playing with himself.

Which is, you know— That's okay and acceptable.

Okay.

- But say he does know she's watching. - Right.

- But she doesn't know he knows she's watching. - Yes.

That would mean that in her mind, she's just watching.

Totally innocent, because it's totally one-sided.

One-sided.

Like, you know, watching a movie.

That's true. But if he does know that she's watching,

and she knows that he knows that she's watching...

Then— oh, my god.

Christmas.

Man, that is intimacy.

That is intimacy.

J“ release me j“

j“ my darling, why don't you just let me go j'

j“ j“

Can't stay out here forever.

This is strong protection, right? I mean, really, really strong?

The strongest I got.

What?

The strangest thing.

- What is? - You remind me of my wife.

That is strange.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll tell you what you do.

You get into his house. I don't care how.

- I'll help you bring it back later, okay? - Okay.

You don't disturb anything. You respect where things are.

Then you put the powder in places of greatest weakness to attack.

In places...

With greatest weakness to attack.

Use your own judgment.

But don't be stingy. I got more of this stuff.

Jo-joline? Wow!

Oh, no. Carl.

Joline, my-my god.

This is the absolute last place I would want us to meet.

- What are you doing here? - I'm just resting a few seconds.

Why-why are you putting dirt in my house?

It's not dirt, it's sacred sand. It's protection powder against t-Bo.

- Who? - I thought Carmen told you.

She told me that she told you.

H-How do you know Carmen?

Look, Carl, I never wanted you to find me like this.

You can imagine how awkward this is for me.

- I want to give you your space. - Hey, Jo, watch this!

- Hey, Toby, later, okay? - Come on!

About carmen— am ihurt? Yes.

Am I mad? You bet!

It's something we're gonna have to work through very carefully, and it may even take years.

But I want you to know that I don't blame her.

I consider her a friend of mine. She's a nice girl.

And she's also dating Jay. My brother Jay. He's out here too.

Yeah, right.

I'm sorry, Jo. Thi-this is— I'm just a little...

I'm just experiencing a little bit of a frightened sensation here.

I'm sorry. I just...

I know. I can see it. That was never my intention. I'm sorry.

No, no, that's okay. It's not your fault. It's my fault.

I—I should've been more straightforward with you, and I wasn't.

And now, as a result of that, I'm just experiencing a little bit of a frightened sensation.

And I know you've got to be surprised too.

I know you're probably surprised to see me...

And surprised to see, you know, how I'm living and, you know,

where I'm living, and I understand that.

And I was trying to explain some of this in the letter that I was working on.

I had two drafts of it. I'm still working on it, Jo, and it's— it's...

Have you ever loved somebody...

You know, with everything you had, Jo?

I mean, everything.

And then one day you just noticed that they were starting to...

Starting to suck up all your good luck.

It wasn't their fault. They didn't do it on purpose. It's just the way things went.

You'd be sitting there, and something good would be coming your way.

And maybe you're even banking on it, because you might really need it.

'Cause you're out there and you think, "god, I'm drowning. I really need something.

I just need a little something, just a touch of good luck to keep me going."

And finally you see something coming,

and it's coming straight towards you, right in a straight line.

And just as you're about to lay your own hands on it,

there it goes, straight to the other person.

And it's almost like a bad joke. Kind of makes you wonder,

"well, if that other person wasn't there, would it have come to me?"

I don't know the answer, but I can't help but think that, "yeah, you know, maybe."

- Maybe. - What are you saying, Carl? I'm sucking luck away from you?

I know that it sounds strange, Jo,

but, you know, I realize that I must have taken a wrong turn, I just must have.

Because I was going along, and things were going fine but then something changed.

And I realized—you know, it took me a long time to realize it...

Because [loved you so much.

But I was so obviously just floundering my ass off, right? You know I was, Jo.

I—I could see that you could see it. I knew that.

And I had no business being with you.

I didn't, Jo. I—I just didn't.

Because great thing were happening to you, constantly.

And you deserve every one of those things, Jo.

But meanwhile, where was I? Nowhere!

Which meant what? Which meant that I had to move fonnard.

That was the only way that I was ever gonna get to where I needed to be to make things happen.

That was the only way that I was ever gonna get to where I— to stop the floundering.

And I finally feel as if I've gotten really close.

Sit down right here, okay?

Okay? Sit right there. I'm gonna show you this.

Guess who took this shot? Today's cover.

Carl howell. And this one. See that?

And this one. Carl howell.

My boss, my editor, he's been sending me out on stuff like this all week, Jo.

- I haven't taken any food photos since Monday. - Since this last Monday?

Yeah, right, Monday. Y-You know what, Jo?

He's gonna keep it up. I can feel it; I know he is.

And you see this house? This is a casa homes home, with an option to buy.

And, uh, I'm thinking really, really seriously about buying.

But-but this is only a small part of it.

Of what? Of the fonnard thing, Jo.

Do ya— do ya get what I'm trying to say?

I—look, I know that you understand, because you're so smart.

I mean, even when I haven't known where I was coming from,

I've always relied on you to understand me, and that always meant so much to me.

Honey, I feel like I've said enough.

I feel like you can go now.

All right?

Because I can't handle you being here anymore.

There are worse things than being in a spiritual wheelchair.

Some people are in a spiritual coma.

And if you're married to one of these people,

then your vows are gonna be tested... to the limit.

All right, Jo, I—I wasn't very articulate.

I realize that, and I'm gonna work better at expressing myself better about this.

But you know that this isn't gonna help, right?

You gotta let me work it out on my own, right, Jo?

And, you know, you need a permit to park there, all right?

It's private property. It's ranch land.

Mexican ranch land, and they're hard core about it.

You should know that because they come by pretty frequently.

I know it seems super isolated out here, Jo, but it's not.

And that's my fence post, all right?

And that's my lumber. It belongs to me.

Grampy's the one who told me...

How you could keep a spiritual vigil for someone...

To cleanse their spirit when it gets all dank and slimy.

He was pretty vague on the details,

but I felt confident that I could wing it.

Some of the stuff I had seen him do.

Other stuff I came up with on my own.

I figured if a spiritual vigil didn't shake Carl out of his coma,

I didn't know what would.

It's interesting how people...

From more spiritually rooted cultures...

Can tell when you're on a sacred mission.

They grasp the situation immediately...

And they cut you a wide berth.

Then on the other side of the spectrum,

there are people that could just never understand what you're doing.

I figured it was because they had never had the exposure,

they'd never seen that bigger picture.

I just saw another one! Did you see that one?

Yeah, that was sweet. Hey, Jo, did you see that shooting star?

So is, uh, Carmen over there now?

- Ohhh. - Is that your vw, Carmen?

Fuck you, Carl! Go back inside!

Jesus christ— Is that Jay's voice?

Is that you, Jay, saying "fuck you" to me?

Yeah, Carl, it's Jay. Fuck offi

no— you know what?

Fuck you, Jay. You know why?

Because I'm not even talking to you. I'm talking to Carmen!

Fuck you, Carl!

Whoa, that was Carmen! Did you hear that?

Do you all even care what my neighbors think?

Do you even care what they think?

I can tell you what they think. They think that you're all a bunch of squatters.

- You know that? - I know you are, but what are we?

There's a thing in the desert called shape-shifting...

Where people can transform themselves into other creatures,

like a fox or a crow.

I could see that Carl had shape-shifted into a jerk,

so [had no choice but to get more extreme with my rituals.

Is that your husband?

Wow, it's pretty good.

Listen, uh, I was thinking...

Uh, it would be fun to hang out with you some more,

but, uh—I don't know— It just feels funny now...

With your husband right there— I mean, right there.

It feels funny, you know?

I'm going to Toronto in the morning. There's a crafts fair up there,

and I'm gonna try to sell some stuff.

But after that, I'll be back here.

I'm gonna leave this little monkey with you for safekeeping.

And, uh, must of my stuff is pinatas, but not this guy,

so don't try busting him open, all right?

Thank you.

You take care of yourself.

How do you know when you've gone too far?

There could be some very solid clues,

but you could be too busy digging safety cradles in the dirt...

And those clues could just pass you right by.

You broke into my house again, didn't you? Didn't you?

I'm sitting there wondering, "why is my bedroom window broken?"

And then I notice, well, there's some eggs under my bed!

Yeah, eggs!

Six freaky, huddling,

"don't know what they're doing there," raw fucking eggs!

This is extreme, Jo. It really is, even for you.

And I—I am genuinely concerned. I'm worried about you.

All right? I—I just want you to know that.

'Cause if anything happens, I want you to understand...

That you left me no choice, all right?

Give that back. Give it back!

That's how it happened.

That's how I got committed.

Let's talk about what this man represents to you.

He's my husband.

Right, and, um, you were protecting him.

Yeah.

From a man named t-Bo?

Who is also your husband.

No, he isn't.

Dr. Chandler, please dial extension 319.

Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me. I—I misread here.

Well, um, at any rate, um,

I think that we might explore what both of these men represent to you...

When we have just a little bit more time.

Um, otherwise, I hope that writing in your recovery journal has been helpful.

- I think so. - Good. I'm glad.

But maybe... I could use more drugs.

- Dr. Chandler, - please.

You have a patient at admissions.

Dr. Chandler, please meet your patient at admissions.

Uh, the medications that we provide are not for recreation.

But they might help me see things differently, right?

I mean, that-that's what you use them for.

No. No, that's not what they're used for.

We, um— we're not interested in shortcuts here.

We are definitely not interested in the easy way out.

I find that far too many people are far too interested in the easy way out,

and that is one pattern that I hope you will learn to avoid.

I feel like for a long time...

I was telling a joke that nobody got.

But I kept telling it anyway because I really liked the joke.

And now they put me with all the other people that nobody gets.

Can I ask you something, Adele?

She tells me three times at night, four times a day...

Does it ever bother you that nobody else believes in that moon stuff but you?

Down the fall two times around.

Maybe if I just stay here long enough...

I'll get right.

Circles three times around and watches.

She watches in the daytime too.

- Excuse me, Adele. - She circles three times around...

- Are you gonna take those? - And watches.

She watches in the daytime too.

- Thanks. - She knows who will fall and who will wake.

I just have to surrender...

Go blank...

Go numb...

Go to sleep.

That's better.

It's time for you to leave this place.

So catch your breath, and let's go.

I can't. Don't you know what I did?

I heard about it.

Then you know that I'm just— I'm too sick to live out there.

Maybe you were not sick enough.

Maybe you need a little poison in you...

To live among the rest of us and not get killed.

You have a very rare power.

It's not that you were not powerful before.

But coming back from the dead...

Will generally increase a person's power by three times,

sometimes even four.

She knows who will fall and who will wake.

- She circles three times around— - I guess you could use it here.

- Twice in the daytime too. - But it seems kind of limited.

- She knows who will fall— - It would be kind of stingy of you.

Go on.

Better take your shoes.

I'm gonna talk to this girl here.

She knows who will fall and who will wake.

She circles three times around and watches.

Tell me what fuckin' line of bullshit you said to her...

To make her turn on me like she did!

Like you made her do!

'Cause if you can't tell me that...

If you can't tell me that, then I'll shut you up real good, Mr. Quiet man!

Goddamn, I should've kicked your quiet ass the minute you stepped foot in this town!

I should've come down on you like a fuckin' goddamn parade of shit!

I should've knocked...

Carl, I came to talk about our marriage.

It's over. I realize that now.

I tried. I really tried.

But I'm not gonna try anymore. I'm gonna get over it.

Because I may be a committed person,

but not to you.

Not anymore.

I heard you can get these removed now.

You have to go back a bunch of times, and it's supposed to hurt pretty bad...

But in the end you just have this faded little white spot.

It's no big deal.

What happened to your leg? Did t-Bo do that?

No, I, uh, fell out of a car.

A moving car?

Well, it was a Jeep.

I wasn't really concentrating. Just kind of fell out.

Well, I hope it gets better soon.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Carl.

I'm still a committed person.

I found out I have a knack for it.

Some people just do.

And if they didn't take things to certain extremes,

how would they ever know for sure?

How would they ever know what they're made of...

- Wow. - Or where they stand?

Bill, bill, come here. From El Paso? Huh.

How would they know where anybody else stands?

It'd be a mystery.

Hey.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Beer?

Hi. I see you got some dogs.

Bill, Sheila, kitchen.

I, uh, I came back to get my shower radio.

I just let myself in with my old key. I hope that's all right.

You came all the way from El Paso for that?

Actually, I don't live in El Paso anymore. I moved back to New York.

Uh, things had kind of hit a dead end for me back there.

Not just work-wise, but just like everything.

And, I mean, I feel like I'd lost track of who I was...

And, I mean, I knew that you knew that.

And I just knew that I'd taken a wrong turn in my life,

so, you know, I felt that I needed to, you know...

So I, I came back.

And, you know, I'm back.

Carl, I'm sorry.

It's just a reflex, you see, 'cause I'm just learning karate.

- The art of karate. - Oh, yeah? No, it was good.

- Are you okay? Really? - No, really. Thank you.

- 'Cause it was kind of good for me too. - Really? Good.

Well, uh, you know, I just came by to make sure you're doin' all right,

and I can see you're doin' really well.

- I'm doing really well. Thank you. - Good.

I'll see you later.

Oh, thanks. I'll give you your key.

Take care of yourself, Carl.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

- That was beautiful. - That was a beautiful ceremony.

Hi, sweetie. Hey, Mary!

Oh, joline!

I still can't believe you caught the bouquet.

Well, you threw it right at me. I mean, it hit me in the eye.

- I know. I'm sorry. - That's okay.

I just thought since you were a very special inspiration for us...

Yeah, I mean, we got engaged in your campsite.

Mamasita. Hey, mija.

New Jersey se llama estado jardin.

It's the garden state.

Hey, I brought you some champagne.

Thank you.

And, uh, did I mention I have some chocolates for you in my truck?

- You did. - And a poem.

- A poem? - Yeah.

I thought I would read it to you a little later.

You weren't planning on talking dirty to me at my brother's wedding, were you?

No, of course I wasn't. Come on.

But I will if you want me to.

You can be a very relentless person, you know that?

Mm-hmm. Takes one to know one.

There's always gonna be some people...

Who are willing to take a leap— a big leap...

Just dive off a cliff with everything they've got...

And hope for the best.

What can you say about these people?

Are they stupid, or are they brave?

Are they crazy?

Or are the y just very, very lucky?

I guess it's one of those things you can look at either way.

J“ have mercy, baby, hey j“

j“ have mercy j“

j“ have mercy on me j"

j“ well, I went to see a gypsy j“

j“ and had my fortune read j'

j“ she said, Don, your baby's gonna leave you j"

j“ her bags is packed up under the bed j“

j“ I cried, have mercy j"

j“ have mercy, baby, hey j“

j“ have mercy j'

j“ have mercy on me j"

j“ but now, hey, baby, hey now j“

j“ what you tryin' to do j'

j“ hey, baby, hey now j'

j“ please don't say we 're through j“

-J“ I said mercy j“ -j“ mercy j'

-j“ mercy j' -j“ mercy j'

-j“ mercy j' -j“ mercy j'

-j“ mercy j' -j“ mercy j'

-j“ mercy j' -j“ mercy j'