All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S01E11 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H265 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:22,587 FITZ: I come from a long line of heroes. 2 00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:25,025 Vikings, pirates, highwaymen. 3 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,157 Adventure was our reward. 4 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,420 Adventure, and all the women we could plunder. 5 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:33,163 Genetically, it's impossible for me to be a pussy. 6 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:37,254 Larry's ancestors, they had their heads caved in 7 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,996 by my ancestors. 8 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,869 Look at him: textbook wuss. 9 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:47,090 "I lost my kidney a whole week ago, doing a good deed. 10 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,613 Fuss on me." 11 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:49,832 Larry, you're gonna-- 12 00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,355 "I'm gonna pretend 13 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,705 I care about you because you make me money." 14 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:54,967 [In feminine voice] "I'll do anything to make you love me. 15 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,708 Just please, validate me." 16 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,188 [In dopey voice] "Do, do, do-do--" 17 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,711 Wait a minute, is he talking about drugs? 18 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,104 I'm talking about drugs. 19 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:03,933 I got oxy, Percs, horse tranqs. 20 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,892 I don't remember what this green one is. 21 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,372 It's candy. 22 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,766 Well, my natural filtration system is compromised, 23 00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:13,769 so I really should avoid any toxic substances. 24 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,684 Yeah, I'll take a Percocet. 25 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,469 You can have all the drugs you want, 26 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,341 when you lose a kidney. 27 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:21,907 Hold my calls. 28 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,830 Um, I hate to be a bother, but I... 29 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,005 Oh. Of course. 30 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:35,095 God dammit. Why are you doting on him? 31 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,792 You haven't wiped my ass in months. 32 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,620 That was one time. 33 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,970 You know, Larry's not the only one around here who's in agony. 34 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:44,321 My nut bag is on fire and no one's giving me any love. 35 00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:47,194 Why is your nut bag on fire? 36 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,674 No reason. 37 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:54,375 Oh! Fuck me hard in the ass, that hurts. 38 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,159 You have an STD? 39 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,987 It's just a little syphilitic sore. 40 00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,815 Syphilis? 41 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,860 When were you planning on telling me? 42 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,951 Why do you have to be such a selfish bastard? 43 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,475 Maybe you should flip through this. 44 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,172 It might answer some of your more pressing questions. 45 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,435 Oh, Richard. 46 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:12,610 Oh, boo-hoo. 47 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:13,785 I gave her syphilis. So shoot me. 48 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:14,830 [Gunshot] 49 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,796 ♪ 50 00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:27,408 ♪ Without you 51 00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:30,715 ♪ I'd find my smile 52 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,978 ♪ Without you 53 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:36,025 ♪ I'd have won by a mile ♪ 54 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:38,506 ♪ Without you 55 00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:42,118 ♪ Oh, life would be so grand ♪ 56 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:44,076 ♪ Without you 57 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:47,123 ♪ I'm half a man 58 00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,864 ♪ Without you 59 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,871 ♪ Without you 60 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,876 ♪ Without you 61 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,755 [Gasping] 62 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,235 Well, this won't do. 63 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,456 This won't do at all. 64 00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:17,893 Listen, Cara, 65 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,677 thanks for your daily, threatening phone call. 66 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,897 Your consistency is awesome. 67 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,507 But you're gonna need to take care of Fitz on your own. 68 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:24,595 I didn't do it. I wasn't even here. 69 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,206 This garage is a mess. 70 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,859 There's grease and oil everywhere. 71 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:28,947 I can feel my pores clogging up 72 00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,035 just standing here, talking to you. 73 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,167 Okay, things are going to change 74 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,125 now that I am in charge. First of all, 75 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,649 we're sanitizing this place. 76 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,650 Second of all--[Gunshot] 77 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,260 MAN: What the fuck was that? 78 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:40,437 Three-way bolt-action, extended barrel. 79 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,918 Sniper! 80 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,311 [Screaming] Get the fuck out of here. 81 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,747 Let go of me. What are you doing? 82 00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,705 - Quiet! Quiet. - Okay, you know what? 83 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,707 Sleeping with me if not gonna get you any special privileges. 84 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,013 Unless you go down on me first. 85 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,057 No! Forget that. I'm seeing someone-- 86 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,191 [Muffled speech] 87 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,894 Uh, Richard. What are you doing? 88 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,156 Get down, numb nuts. 89 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,854 Haven't you ever been shot at before? 90 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,421 No. 91 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:08,987 - Uh, never. - Well, I have. 92 00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:10,728 And trust me, if you don't wanna lose anything important, 93 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:11,990 you get your asses on the ground. 94 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,384 You're imagining things. That wasn't a shot. 95 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,168 A rock just kicked up from the ground 96 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,475 at the same time that a car backfired. 97 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,260 Who would wanna shoot you? 98 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,696 Are you kidding me? 99 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:23,045 A pissed client with road rage, 100 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,613 Janet's dad, those black-market kidney traders. 101 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:26,744 Fuck, it could be anyone 102 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,398 who just tested positive for syphilis. 103 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:32,315 Richard, paranoid delusions are just another form of narcissism. 104 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:35,231 Oh, and a common symptom of tertiary stage syphilis. 105 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,319 [Gunshot] 106 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,929 Incoming! 107 00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:39,322 Ah! 108 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,671 [Yelling] 109 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,239 Larry? Are you all right? 110 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,546 Oh, my God! You've been hit. 111 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,330 You still think I'm crazy? 112 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,201 No, it's okay. It's just a little seepage from my incision. 113 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,681 Oh, God! 114 00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:53,597 Oh, thank God. Let's get you to safety. 115 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,301 Hey, Sonya. A little help? 116 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,780 You can take care of yourself. 117 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:03,825 I'm injured too! 118 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,827 Yeah, STDs don't count. 119 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,356 [Radio beeping] 120 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,663 MAN [over radio]: Unit 8. Shots fired. 121 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,186 Vicinity of Commercial and Union. 122 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:21,016 Fitzpatrick Motors. 123 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:24,193 Unit 8 responding. Shots fired, Fitzpatrick Motors. 124 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:26,238 Rolling out. 125 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,504 What have you got there? 126 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:32,723 Tuna melt. You? 127 00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,290 Turkey brie. 128 00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,861 Saul. It's gonna be Saul. 129 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,471 He's hired someone to kill me 130 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,603 so he can have full custody of Justin. 131 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,518 Can you keep a secret? 132 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,737 I got some new product. Big haul. 133 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,740 I mean, it makes sense. He called child services on me. 134 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,525 Those Philippino middle-schoolers 135 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,265 are expanding their turf. 136 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,615 Tough little fuckers. 137 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,268 And then, when that plan failed, 138 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,183 he jumped to this final solution. 139 00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,663 Oh, he calls himself a Jew. 140 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,404 I mean, you sell to one kid at recess-- 141 00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,492 One kid at recess-- 142 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,451 He practically had a beard. 143 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,322 And all of a sudden, I'm the one that's encroaching? 144 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,628 Josh! Josh! 145 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,369 Where are you going?[Gunshot] 146 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,026 Get back here. I'm scared! 147 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:16,288 Oh, my God. 148 00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,987 What is that? Is that-- 149 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,597 Is that personal? 150 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,556 You can't keep personal stuff in the garage, okay, Josh? 151 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,428 I mean, that is company policy. 152 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,647 So I'm just-- 153 00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,213 Okay, well, this time, 154 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,172 I'm gonna let you off with a verbal warning, 155 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:33,567 but next time, I'm gonna have to write you up, okay? 156 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,568 So-- 157 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:35,960 What is happening there? 158 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,703 It's a little something me and the boys cooked up 159 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:42,402 when we were pinned down in Guam. 160 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,364 [Gasping] 161 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,931 Ah! 162 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:52,586 We gotta get rid of it. 163 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,762 All of it. 164 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,590 [Inhaling] 165 00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,940 Um, my body is a temple. 166 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,115 [Gunshot] 167 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,770 Whoa! Fucking, fucking, fucking fuck! 168 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,467 Yeah, take a big one. There you go. 169 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,774 Yeah. 170 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,563 Oh, for fuck's sake. Couldn't you stay over there? 171 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,566 Richard, we need to talk about your syphilis. 172 00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,176 Now? Yeah. 173 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,830 I'm already dead. That's it. 174 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,745 I died in that car crash, and you're my hell! 175 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,138 Don't be silly. You're not dead, 176 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,705 and nobody's going to kill you today. 177 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,576 Not if I can help it.[Gunshot] 178 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,187 What if I'm not the target? 179 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,276 What if they're after Sonya? 180 00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,800 One of her one-night stands? 181 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,019 I have only ever been with two guys. 182 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,630 Well, maybe this is some of the old man's demons 183 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,848 coming back to haunt him. 184 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,546 [Gunshot] 185 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,160 Hell, for all we know, you could be the target. 186 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,075 What do we really know about you, Larry? 187 00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,511 If that even is your real name? 188 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:49,860 What is it? Mob ties? 189 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,688 Are you in witness protection or something? 190 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,560 Shush! We don't have time for wild fantasies. 191 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,996 [Phone ringing] 192 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,303 Good morning, Fitzpatrick Motors. 193 00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,349 How can I direct your call? 194 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:03,744 [Distorted voice] The archangel of justice is coming to smite thee. 195 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,397 It's for you. 196 00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,921 Take a message? 197 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,057 All right, all right! 198 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,116 This is Fitz. 199 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,726 When you woke up this morning, did you think, 200 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,815 "This could be the day I die?" 201 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,469 When you woke up this morning, 202 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,297 did you think you should see a respirologist? 203 00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,386 Seriously, you gotta get that checked out. 204 00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:40,258 That's funny. You wanna hear something else funny? 205 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,259 [Gunshot] 206 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,565 Now, shut up and listen. 207 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,914 All the doors are booby-trapped, 208 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,568 except for the front entrance. 209 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:48,136 Anyone tries to sneak out, and they're dead. 210 00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,529 What do you want? 211 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,791 I want you to walk out the front door 212 00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,444 so I can plaster your brains 213 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:54,577 all over your precious pre-owned merchandise. 214 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,448 You leave the cars out of this. 215 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,928 You've got 30 minutes to decide. 216 00:08:57,928 --> 00:08:59,277 If you don't surrender yourself, 217 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,236 everyone in there is going to die. 218 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,151 [Dial tone] 219 00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,588 What did they say? 220 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,112 You're all gonna die. 221 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,557 I'm dehydrated, hungry, 222 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,604 happy, and mellow. 223 00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:24,520 And scared. 224 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,826 I'm really freaking out. 225 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,218 Okay, I'm not going to be able to triangulate 226 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:29,525 the position of the sniper if you don't keep it down. 227 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,179 Oh, my God. I forgot there was a sniper. 228 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,660 Saul! Why does he have to be so dramatic, 229 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,444 just 'cause I'm dating again? 230 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,707 Okay, unless he was trained by the CIA, 231 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,710 I don't think that Saul is the shooter. 232 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,059 Was Saul in the CIA? 233 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,365 Oh, for-- 234 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,106 Is Rup on the no-fly list? 235 00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:46,847 Is Justin an informant? 236 00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,589 Oh, wow! Maybe he's not even my kid! 237 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:53,767 You do realise you gave birth to him, don't you? 238 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:54,855 [Mouthing] Oh, my God. 239 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:55,899 Really? 240 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,860 Heidi, Adriana, Caylan, 241 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,340 Jan-girl, Pigtails, 242 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,995 Moans Loudly, Dislocated Shoulder-- 243 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,649 Oh, did I ever tell you that story? 244 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:09,086 Uh, no. Richard, this list is a little long 245 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:11,567 for all the girls you've slept with in the past month. 246 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,525 I gotta remember the entire month? 247 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,831 Oh, boy. 248 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,441 Yeah, well, according to the doctor, 249 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:19,270 that's how long you've been infected with the syphilis. 250 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,925 WOMAN: Syphilis sores have a maximum 28-day incubation period. 251 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:25,842 I have my monthly Brazilian scheduled for tonight. 252 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,757 Fitz likes a manicured lawn.[Gunshot] 253 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:30,586 So it must've been at least 28 days ago. 254 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:34,372 If I don't get it today, am I in the clear? 255 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,331 You should still see a doctor.[Gunshot] 256 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,811 Although, from the sound of it, 257 00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,377 syphilis may be the least of your issues. 258 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,903 Hey, what the hell are you doing? 259 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:45,557 Well, we have to disclose your STD to everyone on that list. 260 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,689 Are you out of your fuckin' mind? 261 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,648 You want to attract more snipers? 262 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,694 Richard, I caught a very interesting program 263 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,392 on the radio this morning about Eastern mysticism. 264 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,003 Now, according to ancient beliefs, 265 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,613 if you do bad things to the universe, 266 00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,528 you have to right those wrongs. 267 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,878 And hiding information from people that it might harm 268 00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,445 is bad karma. 269 00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:05,012 Fuck karma. 270 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,275 It's going to take a lot more than penicillin 271 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,929 to reverse the effects of you spreading 272 00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,278 your communicable disease, buster! 273 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:13,368 Jesus. Did Larry get into my stash too? 274 00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:15,500 Okay! I'll start with calling the women you slept with, 275 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,806 "A" through "K." 276 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,025 Josh, you take care of "L" through "P." 277 00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:19,287 Meghan? 278 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,202 Look at my bones. 279 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,725 Uh, okay. 280 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:25,336 Richard, maybe you should take care of the rest, yeah? 281 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,511 Okay, let's go! 282 00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:31,560 Look at my bones! 283 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,562 Where is everybody? 284 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:34,563 So, what are you doing later? 285 00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:35,651 [Phone clicking off] 286 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,044 God. "I might've given you syphilis," 287 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,002 is the worst icebreaker ever. 288 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:41,483 Yeah, I got something I gotta tell you. 289 00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:42,440 You wanna get together for drinks later? 290 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,615 [Clicking off] 291 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,621 Uh-huh. Oh! 292 00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:52,537 Hey, Dislocated Shoulder sends her regards. 293 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,323 "Go, Fitz, go"? Yeah, you remember me now, don't you? 294 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:59,283 Listen, um, there's something I gotta tell you. 295 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,546 No, it's purely for medicinal reasons. 296 00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,635 Doctors prescribe it for STDs all the time. 297 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,550 Let me just put you down for half a quarter. 298 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,988 [Clicking off] 299 00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,773 Do you remember last week when we were in the Tilt-A-Whirl? 300 00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,296 Yeah. 301 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:13,558 Something I gotta tell you. 302 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,778 [Clicking off] 303 00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,432 Waste of fuckin' time. 304 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:20,696 Once again, Larry, your plan is full of holes. 305 00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,611 Well, you might feel better to know 306 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,179 that my window of infection is over. 307 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:29,313 I have thoroughly inspected myself, and I am STD-free. 308 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:30,880 Yes. Yeah. 309 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,926 'Cause that's what's been weighing on my head today. 310 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,536 Thank God. Crisis averted. 311 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:38,192 You really don't care that someone is out there 312 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:41,456 shooting at us because of something you did? 313 00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:44,546 You really don't care if I live or die today, 314 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:49,333 that I have never been to Paris, eaten lobster, 315 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:52,206 or owned a small, furry pet. 316 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,555 Are you done? 317 00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:56,514 No. No, you know what? 318 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:57,994 You deserve this. 319 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:01,998 Yeah. The STDs, the turning- your-back-on-your-friends, 320 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,305 and the way you treat Larry. 321 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:07,743 I am surprised the snipers didn't get to you sooner. 322 00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:12,269 To think that I wasted all of this time on such a-- 323 00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,445 A waste. 324 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:20,277 So, mouth-turd, any more bright ideas? 325 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:23,106 Well, I noticed there was one name 326 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,848 you forgot to put on the list of "A" through "K"s. 327 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:28,546 Starts with "Ali," ends with "Devin." 328 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,766 She's a woman scorned, Richard. 329 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:31,985 Who knows what she's capable of? 330 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:35,945 How far she's sunk? Hmm? 331 00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:54,442 You're a nice guy, right? 332 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,184 Of course I am. 333 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,448 And we're having a nice time? 334 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,537 Mm-hm. 335 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:06,236 I can think of a few ways to make it... 336 00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,198 nicer. 337 00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,462 Why don't we take things slow? 338 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:17,160 I mean, it's just that I don't want to repeat 339 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,164 all those same mistakes I've made in the past. 340 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:23,471 What kind of mistakes are you talking about? 341 00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:26,169 Oh, uh, well, you know. 342 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,564 I've just been with a lot of guys 343 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,610 who aren't as nice. 344 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:37,528 Were you ever nice to any of those not-so-nice guys? 345 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,442 Chester! 346 00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:41,184 I mean, Richard Fitzpatrick. 347 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:42,403 Did you guys ever-- 348 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,927 I was never nice to Fitz, okay? 349 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,929 And frankly, if someone took him out today, 350 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,583 I wouldn't shed a tear. 351 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,715 Shh. Alison. 352 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,850 Oh, okay. 353 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,548 Mm. 354 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,946 [Phone ringing] 355 00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:15,262 This has gone far enough. 356 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,482 Not quite. That walking pustule still has a head. 357 00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:20,354 Please, as a sign of good faith, 358 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,182 could you at least let one of us go? 359 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,575 Fine. One of the peons can be released. 360 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:25,750 Thank you. Oh, thank God. 361 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,970 Finally. Oh, I'd fuck a goat for a roti. 362 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,885 Larry, you're the one who needs medical attention. 363 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,060 You should go. 364 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,933 Sonya, you are so kind and thoughtful, 365 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,543 which is why it should be you. 366 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,110 Do any of you mind if it's me? 367 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,241 I desperately have to dip my balls 368 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,982 in a bath of calamine lotion. 369 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,157 - That's disgusting. - Blech. 370 00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,767 Hey, where's Meghan? 371 00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:50,210 I'm coming Rupy! 372 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,602 FITZ: That selfish bitch! 373 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:55,519 JOSH: Trust me. It's probably for the best. 374 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,652 Don't you see? This is a clear sign. 375 00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,698 We disclosed your disease, and the universe has rewarded us, 376 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,439 by getting Meghan out of our hair. 377 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,006 Whoopee! 378 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,574 Yes! And since we agreed that Ali, as a legal professional, 379 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:09,272 would use a more discreet means of killing you-- 380 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,231 Poison. Oleander, most likely. 381 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,102 Yeah, crushed into a fragrant and deadly broth. 382 00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:14,234 That's good thinking, Josh. 383 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,844 That would really just finish him off. 384 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,019 I'm standing right here. 385 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,586 Right. I'm sorry. 386 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,066 Other suspects, let's see. 387 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:23,417 Someone who can stake out a sight from long range, 388 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,029 stand their ground in a negotiation, 389 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:29,336 a single-minded determination 390 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:31,294 to do what they know is right. 391 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,521 No. I got nothing. 392 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,783 Yeah, me neither. 393 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,828 [Phone ringing] 394 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,529 What do you want, Josh? 395 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,052 Cara, you-- 396 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,314 You gotta stop. 397 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:55,710 These people: Larry, Ken, Sonya, Fitz, 398 00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,061 they're my friends. 399 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,977 Richard Fitzpatrick is not your friend. 400 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:02,978 That's not-- 401 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:03,979 That's not true. 402 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,546 He's my BFF. 403 00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,591 You know, you don't know him like I do. 404 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,376 Cara, you-- 405 00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,421 You gotta stop. 406 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,641 What exactly do you want me to stop? 407 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,512 All right, when I said, "Take care of Fitz no your own," 408 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,514 I didn't mean, "Put Fitzpatrick Motors under siege 409 00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:19,516 with snipers rifles and--" 410 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:20,648 [Gunshot] 411 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,563 Oh, yeah. Ha-ha. 412 00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,613 Shit. 413 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:34,183 Okay, now, if Set A is all the women Richard slept with 414 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:36,577 and didn't call back, and Set B 415 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:39,362 is all the customers you low-balled and didn't reimburse, 416 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:42,278 then I'm pretty sure we'll find our culprit 417 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:45,977 somewhere in this intersection. 418 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:49,459 Ooh! What about all the loan sharks he's slept with 419 00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:51,331 and never paid back? 420 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,680 Excellent input, Sonya. 421 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,553 I'll just add that new variable right here. 422 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,385 What? Spit it out. 423 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:03,778 Uh, you know that junior survivalist 424 00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,823 that's been hanging around a lot? 425 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:09,914 Well, um, I'm pretty sure she's killed before. 426 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:14,789 You see? This isn't about sex or cars, 427 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:17,139 or unpaid sexy loan sharks, 428 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,794 just some psychopath, forgot to take her lithium. 429 00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,491 Which still could have been avoided. 430 00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,450 If you disclosed your venereal disease earlier, 431 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,887 then bad karma wouldn't be raining down on us 432 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:28,368 in the form of actual sniper fire. 433 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:29,760 Well, you're just as crazy 434 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,197 as that bi-polar psycho out there with the gun. 435 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:35,418 Hey, she's not bi-polar, she's bi-curious. 436 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,768 You really don't think this is all connected, Richard? 437 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:40,684 Then why is it the one person you left off your list 438 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,165 of sexual partners is also the only one 439 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,994 that can help us put a stop to that young woman? 440 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,389 What can I do to stop her? 441 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:52,087 Oh. No, I'm sorry, Sonya. I should've been more clear. 442 00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:55,003 I meant Ali. So... 443 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,268 You slept with Ali too? 444 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,617 Uh-- 445 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,489 Ugh! 446 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,207 [Phone ringing] 447 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,948 Whoa! Phone! 448 00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:27,949 Hello? 449 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,646 Hey, doll face. 450 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:30,778 What do you want? 451 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,996 Just a chat. Catch up. 452 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,563 I have to go to the bathroom. 453 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:34,869 I thought you should know, 454 00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:36,653 your deranged little foot soldier's gone all 455 00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,221 trench coat mafia and is taking pot shots at my dealership. 456 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,876 Even if I did believe you, 457 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:44,226 why are you not calling the police? 458 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,228 We did. 459 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:47,882 Oh, of course. 460 00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:51,015 And they're not coming because nobody cares enough to help you? 461 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:52,408 Why should I? 462 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,455 You're many things, Ali Devin: a hot piece of tail, 463 00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,153 a pistol in the sack, a shitty lawyer, 464 00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,633 but accessory to murder? 465 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,939 How would that look on the old résumé? 466 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:04,551 Ali? 467 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:05,552 Ali, are you still-- 468 00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:06,683 [Toilet flushing] 469 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:14,038 Do you mind if we wait, like, another 20 minutes? 470 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,085 We have to go to Fitzpatrick Motors. 471 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,217 You're kidding. 472 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,436 You're not kidding. 473 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,699 As much as I hate him, 474 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,832 Richard Fitzpatrick could be in serious trouble 475 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:28,270 with a mentally unstable teenage girl. 476 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,405 Are you sure this is bullet proof? 477 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,884 What do I look like, a doctor? 478 00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,277 What do you think you're doing? 479 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,931 It's time to face your accusers, Richard. 480 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,107 And since you won't do it, I'll do it for you. 481 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,456 Stop it. 482 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:41,849 Larry, I don't know about this. 483 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:43,285 It's okay, Sonya. 484 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:46,114 It's time I live by example, practice what I preach. 485 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:48,464 I am nice to the universe, and the universe is nice to me. 486 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:51,337 Plus, I want lunch. 487 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,990 Oh, I get it. 488 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,992 Not only do I get blamed for some deranged fuckin' sniper, 489 00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:57,125 but numbskull here thinks he's gonna play hero? 490 00:20:57,125 --> 00:21:00,389 Fuck that. 491 00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:01,999 I've got your back, Fitzy. 492 00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,223 Um... 493 00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:14,185 You want me? Come and get me! 494 00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:16,405 Take your best shot! 495 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:20,148 Hey. 496 00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,675 Hello? 497 00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:27,982 Hey, where are you going? I'm here to help! 498 00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:30,941 I'm handy with explosives! 499 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:50,309 Richard? 500 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,484 Richard, wait! 501 00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,312 Wait! It doesn't have to end like this! 502 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,315 Told you this was just a hoax. 503 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,708 Richard Fitzpatrick is the boy who cried wolf. 504 00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:00,188 An attention-seeking whiner, who-- 505 00:22:00,188 --> 00:22:01,232 [Gunshot] 506 00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:06,586 I don't wanna die! 507 00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:07,674 [Dialling] 508 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:18,598 Cara, what do you think you're doing? 509 00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:21,252 Openly shooting at Richard Fitzpatrick 510 00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:23,080 isn't going to solve anything. 511 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,778 It wasn't me. 512 00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:27,084 You didn't just shoot that gun? 513 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:30,174 Uh, no, I mean, I did. 514 00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:34,309 It was an accident, but I just got here. 515 00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:36,529 Bullshit, kid. If it wasn't you, then who was it? 516 00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:39,183 The gun, the empty casings, 517 00:22:39,183 --> 00:22:43,274 the bag full of explosives, 518 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,148 they could be anyone's. 519 00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:50,543 Besides, even if they were mine, it wouldn't matter, 520 00:22:50,543 --> 00:22:53,415 'cause someone else will be back here tomorrow. 521 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:57,550 Look, Cara, I am really sorry. 522 00:22:57,550 --> 00:23:01,641 I know things didn't turn out the way you planned. 523 00:23:01,641 --> 00:23:03,294 But that's life. 524 00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:05,514 Sometimes, you have to compromise. 525 00:23:05,514 --> 00:23:07,342 You have to settle 526 00:23:07,342 --> 00:23:10,780 for things that you never thought you'd have to. 527 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:13,827 I swear, it wasn't me. 528 00:23:13,827 --> 00:23:15,916 I was outside your window all day, 529 00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:18,309 watching Chester get handsy with you. 530 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,661 Oh, Cara, you need help. 531 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,360 You don't understand. 532 00:23:28,232 --> 00:23:30,583 Just let me help you. 533 00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:36,327 Ooh. 534 00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:38,460 Traitor. I got her, Fitzy. 535 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,376 Only after you acted as my spy. 536 00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:42,464 What's she talking about? 537 00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:43,987 Look at his cell phone. 538 00:23:43,987 --> 00:23:46,207 The pictures, the text messages. 539 00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:48,688 You'll see. He's not your friend, after all. 540 00:23:48,688 --> 00:23:50,298 I-I don't know what happened. 541 00:23:50,298 --> 00:23:52,343 I caught her in your office snooping, 542 00:23:52,343 --> 00:23:53,649 and I tried to stop her, and next thing I know, 543 00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:54,824 she's everywhere, man! 544 00:23:54,824 --> 00:23:56,826 At the porn shoot, at the bachelor party, 545 00:23:56,826 --> 00:23:59,263 planting pipe bombs at all the exits. 546 00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:00,700 Hey, man, let me get this straight. 547 00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:02,963 You're in cahoots with this psycho? 548 00:24:02,963 --> 00:24:04,617 Kinda. 549 00:24:04,617 --> 00:24:07,402 Selling her my secrets to help her sabotage my legal defence? 550 00:24:07,402 --> 00:24:09,317 I wouldn't call it "sabotage." 551 00:24:09,317 --> 00:24:11,362 Only to provoke her to start shooting at me? 552 00:24:11,362 --> 00:24:12,581 I'm not the shooter. 553 00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:16,585 Fitzy, my man, you got it all wrong. 554 00:24:17,978 --> 00:24:20,371 Thanks very much, Julius Rosen-bong. 555 00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:21,982 You're dead to me. 556 00:24:23,592 --> 00:24:26,073 Still think you're besties? 557 00:24:26,073 --> 00:24:28,249 [Gasping] 558 00:24:28,249 --> 00:24:29,772 Ooh. 559 00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:34,168 Oh, you were so brave. 560 00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:35,386 And in your condition. 561 00:24:35,386 --> 00:24:37,214 Thank you, thank you, Sonya. 562 00:24:37,214 --> 00:24:40,174 I just have one more matter I need to attend to. 563 00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,224 What the fuck's going on out here? 564 00:24:48,399 --> 00:24:51,664 - Oh, same old, same old. - Nothing, really. 565 00:24:51,664 --> 00:24:53,013 Yeah. 566 00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:54,623 Okay. 567 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:58,975 Oh, thanks. 568 00:24:59,976 --> 00:25:02,544 She's not a bad kid. 569 00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:05,939 How goes the mild ride on the teacups with Mr. Adequate? 570 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:08,202 Is it meeting your lowered expectations? 571 00:25:10,378 --> 00:25:12,075 I talked with the commanding officer. 572 00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,468 If we can't sweep this thing under the rug, 573 00:25:13,468 --> 00:25:15,209 we can certainly cut her a deal. 574 00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:18,038 Make sure she isn't tried as an adult. 575 00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:20,257 Thank you, Chester. 576 00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:21,824 You're always there for me. 577 00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:28,091 Yeah, well, I gotta get home. 578 00:25:28,091 --> 00:25:30,224 My fuckin' nuts are killing me. 579 00:25:30,224 --> 00:25:31,921 I know what you mean, brother. 580 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,056 Wait a minute. I don't. 581 00:25:36,056 --> 00:25:37,536 What are you talking about? 582 00:25:42,192 --> 00:25:43,498 Nothing. 583 00:25:43,498 --> 00:25:44,760 I'll, um-- 584 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:45,935 I'll tell you later. 585 00:25:45,935 --> 00:25:47,328 LARRY: Are you kidding me? 586 00:25:47,328 --> 00:25:49,765 Richard, have you learned nothing from today? 587 00:25:49,765 --> 00:25:51,550 Tell me what. 588 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:55,205 Richard has syphilis. 589 00:25:55,205 --> 00:25:58,557 Yeah, you probably want to see your doctor. 590 00:26:01,429 --> 00:26:03,213 Wait a minute. Why would she have to see her doctor, 591 00:26:03,213 --> 00:26:05,607 if you two have never slept together? 592 00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:21,014 Chester! 593 00:26:25,105 --> 00:26:27,150 Last name on the list, Richard. 594 00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:28,108 We-- 595 00:26:28,108 --> 00:26:29,283 We did the right thing. 596 00:26:35,985 --> 00:26:37,987 Great. 597 00:26:41,774 --> 00:26:44,603 FITZ: Paranoid? That's bullshit. 598 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,996 Richard Fitzpatrick doesn't have any reason to be paranoid. 599 00:26:46,996 --> 00:26:47,997 [Gunshot] 600 00:26:47,997 --> 00:26:58,051 ♪ 42530

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