All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S01E05 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H265 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:27,766 ♪ 2 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,520 FITZ: Fitzpatricks are not a sentimental people. 3 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,826 Looking good! 4 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:46,524 Tradition, surprises, fuck that! 5 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,352 I've never given a crap about birthdays, 6 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:51,660 and I'm sure as shit not going to change up my routine now. 7 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,575 Oh, yeah! 8 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:56,882 And I don't appreciate anyone else changing it either. 9 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,145 Richard, we're just about ready to go-- 10 00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,233 Oh, dear God! 11 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,235 Oh, fuck, don't you knock? 12 00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,975 How could you? On such a special day? 13 00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:04,151 It's the old man's birthday! 14 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,152 It's not a fucking moon landing! 15 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:08,503 Okay, Richard, from now on, 16 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,767 we're celebrating milestones with meaning, huh? 17 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,464 And gifts! 18 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,944 Last chance to get in on the present! 19 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,815 Not if my fucking life depended on it! 20 00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:19,862 I'll take that as a maybe. 21 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,345 Mr. Fitzpatrick, I need to see you in-- 22 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,389 Oh, my God! 23 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,608 Don't you knock? 24 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,654 [Laughing] 25 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,140 We wanted to do something a little extra special 26 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,837 for the big 63, Mr. F. 27 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:42,493 So get ready for cake, champagne and presents! 28 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:43,625 [Party favours blowing] 29 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,017 This should be good. 30 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:48,151 Um, happy birthday. 31 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,544 Did you get him anything? 32 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,154 No. 33 00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,721 Wait, why, did you? 34 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,070 What, me? 35 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,506 No! 36 00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,726 Not really! 37 00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:58,814 Ha, ha, ha! 38 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,642 You got that right, sweet cheeks! 39 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,078 Come here. 40 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:05,125 Oh! [Squealing] 41 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,174 So, we done here? 42 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,654 We're having fun! 43 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,743 Now we know how stressful it is 44 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,527 to manage us all the time, right? 45 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,268 Always being the top dog, so-- 46 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:21,576 And since we can't add years to your life, 47 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,882 we're adding life to your-- 48 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,971 to your years! 49 00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,716 Total Life Spa. 50 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,196 It's whole day of pampering. 51 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,677 They give you mud baths, and massages and even facials. 52 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157 And you know what the best part is? 53 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,897 I'm coming with! 54 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,943 Oh, what a crock! 55 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,510 What? 56 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,338 You don't think I deserve it? 57 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,949 Thanks, douchebag. 58 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,472 You too, Larry. 59 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,821 Oh, uh, speech! 60 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:52,737 Speech, speech! [Clapping] 61 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:56,480 Look, I never saw the point of all this birthday nonsense. 62 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,483 But today, I realized it's a great way 63 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,137 to measure how people worship your ass. 64 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,138 Ha! 65 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,661 Your turn, stupid. 66 00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,489 What did my one and only son get me and my honour? 67 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,230 Oh, come on! 68 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,623 You know Megan had nothing to do with that! 69 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,712 That fruity gift is all Larry! 70 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,496 Jealous! 71 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:15,847 Nothing, figures. 72 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,501 Of course I got you something. 73 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,590 It's just, uh, it's not here yet. 74 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,679 But it's one of a kind. 75 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,072 It's amazing! 76 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,509 It's way better than some dumb-ass spa experience! 77 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:28,469 Spa your face, asshole! 78 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:32,560 Where's my fucking bubbly? 79 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,476 Uh! 80 00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:39,828 None for him. 81 00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:43,310 [Party favours blowing] 82 00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:52,275 ♪ Without you 83 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,930 ♪ I'd find my smile 84 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:57,498 ♪ Without you 85 00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,283 ♪ I'd have won by a mile 86 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,590 ♪ Without you 87 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:06,420 ♪ Oh, life could be so grand 88 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,335 ♪ Without you 89 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,947 ♪ I'm half a man 90 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:25,700 ♪ Without you 91 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,193 Show's over, scram. 92 00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:45,067 Don't you see what's happening here? 93 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:48,636 This emotion, this frisson of beautiful anguish. 94 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:49,637 It's the-- 95 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,291 Hey! 96 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,510 Oh, I don't think my arm is supposed to bend that way! 97 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,338 First you interrupt my morning jizz, 98 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,905 then you show me up in front of the old man? 99 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,211 Richard, you're acting out because you're feeling guilty. 100 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,039 Okay, you want your father's approval, 101 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,432 but you don't know how to get it. 102 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,738 And that makes you mad, and that makes you angry! 103 00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,783 Ugh, and violent, and I don't think-- 104 00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,611 I can't breathe right now! 105 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:08,699 Ugh! 106 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,179 You crazy fuck! 107 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,964 Now I've got to waste a fortune on that old bastard! 108 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:15,315 No, Richard, you don't have to spend a fortune at all. 109 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,752 You know, the best gifts are often homemade. 110 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,537 Just something to remind Ken of all the beautiful moments 111 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:21,973 you've shared as father and son. 112 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,585 The only thing that sick fuck and I 113 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,674 ever had in common was porn. 114 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,589 And cars, but mostly porn. 115 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:29,894 Ah. 116 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:31,635 Wait a minute. 117 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,942 That's not a bad idea. 118 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,683 Who's the one person in this world 119 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,728 that the old man loves more than anyone else? 120 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:41,645 Oh, I think Ken loves you as much as Megan but-- 121 00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:43,517 No, no, I'm talking about stripper 122 00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,693 and former porn actress Candy Box! 123 00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:46,868 She never fails to get him off, 124 00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,044 and at his age that's saying something. 125 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,654 Uh, Richard? 126 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:54,658 You're not going to buy your father a night of sex? 127 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,443 No, he's far too lazy and selfish 128 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,053 to spend a night in Candy's actual box. 129 00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:01,709 I'm talking about making him a custom porno starring Candy, 130 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:05,277 and featuring all of his favourite shit. 131 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,541 It's the gift that keeps on coming! 132 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,978 Uh, that's not what I had in mind! 133 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,197 No, no, that's the opposite of what I had in mind. 134 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,678 Ring-a-ding-ding, baby! 135 00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:17,551 Ring-a-ding-ding! 136 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,726 Mmm! 137 00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,162 Yeah. 138 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,077 All right, we'll shoot it here 139 00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,992 when Megan takes the old man for his gay spa day. 140 00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,254 Make it a surprise. 141 00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,777 Hey, can I shoot it? 142 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,170 My C.O. said that my recon footage in Kabul made him cry. 143 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,563 It was either that, or the exploding livestock. 144 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:30,694 He was a vegetarian-- 145 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,174 I've got a great idea for the opening. 146 00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:33,523 Candy comes in, 147 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,264 and asks the young stud to rotate her tires. 148 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,701 But what she really means is her boobs. 149 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,702 Nice, 'cause they're both round, 150 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:39,834 I get it. 151 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:40,922 Yeah, yeah. 152 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,140 All right, now over there, 153 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,359 I'm seeing pictures of baseball stars. 154 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,274 Clemens, Jeter, but no one really black, 155 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,667 'cause that's way too threatening. 156 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,146 And Ken shares the birthdays 157 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,105 of Captain Kangaroo and Helen Keller. 158 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,715 Let's get photos of them too. 159 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:52,847 Nice, that's hot. 160 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,326 Yeah, and a car. 161 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,806 A car that Ken would really like, 162 00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,895 like that '74 Corvette. 163 00:06:57,895 --> 00:07:02,900 That's where the actual boning'll take place. 164 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,512 You know, dude. 165 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:09,472 That's going to be fucking beautiful, man. 166 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,518 Oh, go fuck yourself. 167 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,787 [Camera clicking] 168 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,495 Interloper! 169 00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:33,627 Caught red-handed. 170 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,498 Who's your operator? 171 00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:36,630 Tell us, come on! 172 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,501 Are you working for Richard Fitzpatrick? 173 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,546 I would never work 174 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,895 for that lowlife murdering snake! 175 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,506 What do you mean, murdering? 176 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,508 He got away with attempted murder, 177 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,379 and I'm going to make him pay. 178 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,338 Babs Devin may be just one lone victim 179 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,600 of the patriarchal system, 180 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,167 but through her I will strike a blow 181 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,212 against phallocentric injustice everywhere! 182 00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:55,910 Is the enemy of our enemy our enemy, 183 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,868 or is the enemy of our enemy our friend, 184 00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,217 and our enemy's enemy? 185 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,784 - Hmm? - Come again? 186 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:03,178 It's more poetic in original Pashto. 187 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,179 You're pathetic. 188 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,180 NO, listen to me. 189 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,355 We are hard-working, 190 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,226 success-oriented car dealers, huh? 191 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,967 Who happen to share your dislike 192 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:11,447 for the one who calls himself "The Fitz." 193 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:16,017 Let us tag-team you, and defeat him as a three-way! 194 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,584 Even as I said this, I knew it was wrong. 195 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,020 He must be stopped, huh? 196 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,412 All this tampering with the merchandise. 197 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,675 Yeah, truly. 198 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:22,719 Who sells a car for $69? 199 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:23,807 No can do. 200 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,897 I already have a guy on the inside. 201 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:29,117 So, eat me. 202 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:37,952 Mmm! 203 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,693 Richard, we need to discuss 204 00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,564 this pornographic film you are proposing. 205 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,913 Get lost, numb-nuts. 206 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,612 Even if you convince Miss Box to do your film, 207 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,135 Richard, I read the script, and frankly, 208 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,702 I've got some problems with it. 209 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,704 Okay, it's crude, misogynistic, 210 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,227 and the story makes no sense. 211 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,750 I mean, who calls a plumber 212 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,536 and then doesn't have the money to pay for his services? 213 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,754 Okay, look, you're the one who convinced me to do something 214 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,190 to show the old man that I care, okay? 215 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,584 And like it or not, in Fitz-speak, 216 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,195 nothing says "I love you" like homemade porn. 217 00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:07,155 Well, I can't deny you're putting 218 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,678 an awful lot of thought into this. 219 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,420 I was up all night writing and working on my shot list. 220 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,378 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 221 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,554 Well, it is something Ken might like. 222 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,207 Oh, yeah! 223 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:19,254 And my intentions are good, and that's all that counts. 224 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:27,131 [Sound of cougar roaring] 225 00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:30,613 Oh, yeah! 226 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,660 God! 227 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,444 Richard Fitzpatrick? 228 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,532 Call me Fitz. 229 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,794 Business before pleasure. 230 00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,797 If I had a dime for every time I heard that. 231 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,408 Yeah, here you go, as discussed. 232 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:44,453 Where'd you get that? 233 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,802 Let's just say your horse came in, 234 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,891 which is a good thing 'cause I sold your car. 235 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:48,979 You did what? 236 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:49,980 So, we making a movie? 237 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,981 Action! 238 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:54,898 Hells yeah. 239 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,814 So, Dick Fitz is a great porn name. 240 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,207 We ever worked together before, honey? 241 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,644 Oh, I'm sure I would have remembered that! 242 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,037 Who are you? 243 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,561 Oh, uh, I'm Larry, Miss Box. 244 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:08,042 And may I just say, I loved your work 245 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:11,045 in The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butthole 246 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,916 and Mighty Dicks 6. 247 00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,831 You saw those? 248 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,703 Well, you did, so technically I saw them too. 249 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:17,921 You see, Richard and I 250 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:18,966 have a very complicated relationship. 251 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,445 I'm sort of here to help him-- 252 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,664 By leaving! 253 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,665 Get out of here, Larry! 254 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,797 If you leave right now, 255 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,711 I'll make you an assistant producer. 256 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:25,929 I am an investor! 257 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,148 Fine, associate producer! 258 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,149 Now get the fuck out of here! 259 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,846 Nice to meet you, Miss Box! 260 00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,500 I look forward to working with you! 261 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,590 You're very pretty! 262 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,636 Mr. Associate Producer. 263 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,594 Good evening, Mr. Associate Producer! 264 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:41,641 I'll show you to your seat now! 265 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:51,215 [Phone ringing] 266 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,657 Oh, fuck! 267 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,320 Find me a co-star yet? 268 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,670 See, I've been thinking, Fitzy. 269 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,454 I mean, is this all really legal? 270 00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,891 You know, after hours, non-union, animals and shit? 271 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:16,545 Since when do you give a shit about legal? 272 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,981 Sorry I'm late! 273 00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,375 First day of pre-production, so exciting! 274 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:23,204 This is going to be the best erotic vanity film ever! 275 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,422 Can I get a what-what? 276 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,510 Ball shot! 277 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,251 These just arrived. 278 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,383 Normally, I would be offended, 279 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:29,950 but a real woman owns her sexuality 280 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:33,605 and doesn't judge the erotic tastes of others. 281 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:34,868 But that one is gross. 282 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:39,873 Oh, would you put that in my office? 283 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:42,789 You got it. 284 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,442 Gentlemen! 285 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,879 Right over here is where the real action 286 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,576 is going to take place. 287 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:51,014 Candy will be waxing the yellow '74 Corvette. 288 00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,756 She'll do a little Marilyn Monroe. 289 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:57,804 "Happy birthday, Mr. President," and then-- 290 00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,675 Yes! 291 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,678 I read the script last night, and I made a couple of tweaks. 292 00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,077 For the Love of Ken? 293 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,078 Yes! 294 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,079 What the fuck is this? 295 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,428 What, you don't like it? 296 00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,735 It's supposed to be called Trans-fuckers! 297 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,693 Like that car movie? 298 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,129 Yeah, with the robots. 299 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,957 Yeah, that was funny! 300 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,742 With their-- 301 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,134 Yeah, okay, there were a couple of robots in it. 302 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,309 No, no, I just thought-- 303 00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:26,746 No one cares what you think, Larry! 304 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,965 Now get the fuck out of here before you curse my set 305 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:32,012 with your total unfuckability! 306 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,974 [Wild animals calling] 307 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,542 This is so relaxing. 308 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,413 Isn't this relaxing, Dad? 309 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,589 I think it's incredibly relaxing. 310 00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:47,070 I haven't been this relaxed in, I don't even know, years? 311 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,247 I can just feel the toxins that have been building up 312 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:53,860 since Saul left oozing away. 313 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,645 You know, Daddy, you could never do anything 314 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:57,907 like this with Richard. 315 00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,822 This is a special moment between you and me! 316 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,824 [Laughing] 317 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,435 Okay, you can, uh, do me now. 318 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,482 Do me now! [Laughing] 319 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:16,360 When do I get my happy ending? 320 00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,496 No, no, no, no! 321 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,932 What the hell is this? 322 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,804 Huh? 323 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,196 Where's my yellow Corvette? 324 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,808 Is it too much to ask, really? 325 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,593 A man has a vision of a yellow Corvette. 326 00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:34,639 He's promised a yellow Corvette! 327 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:38,730 And Goddamn it, I want my yellow Corvette! 328 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,384 Larry said it didn't really matter what kind of car we used. 329 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,733 You said this? 330 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,039 Well, it's just a car, Richard. 331 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,258 An inanimate object. 332 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,650 What's important is that you're learning 333 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,174 to express your feelings for your father, 334 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,175 focusing on the human-- 335 00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:49,959 What's important is that my gift 336 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,787 blows Megan's gift out of the water! 337 00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,484 Candy's here! 338 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:57,706 Oh, finally, a professional. 339 00:13:57,706 --> 00:14:01,841 [Scoffing sound] 340 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,237 Miss Fox-- 341 00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:10,719 Hey, hey, come back here and get your toy! 342 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,460 I am not your maid! 343 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,722 Sorry I'm late. 344 00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,332 Midget wrangler go AWOL? 345 00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,899 Now, the wench who waxes my hoo-ha 346 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,205 is a crazy perfectionist 347 00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:19,510 and she didn't have time to finish, 348 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:20,511 so you're only going to be able to shoot me 349 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,686 from the left side. 350 00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:24,124 Huh. 351 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,561 [Spitting] 352 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,955 All right, let's shoot this thang! 353 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,566 [Giggling] 354 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:34,612 [Sighing] 355 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:41,881 Sorry about this shit box. 356 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,360 It was supposed to be a Corvette. 357 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,753 Yeah, there was a bit of a mix-up, I admit. 358 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,494 But I think that this colour 359 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:50,106 brings out the flecks of gold in your eyes. 360 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,542 Trust me, boys. 361 00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,848 Once I get busy, 362 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,719 ain't nobody going to be worrying about my eyes. 363 00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:57,026 Where's my wood? 364 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,723 Here you go! 365 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,856 Good time! 366 00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,817 Oh, man, really? 367 00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:06,993 Ah, I've done worse. 368 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,255 This one movie I shot in Mexico, 369 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,779 it was called Stuff My Taco, 370 00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,041 only the guy's frijoles pintos 371 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,303 couldn't even fill a taquito, 372 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,304 if you know what I'm saying. 373 00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,089 Yeah, ha, ha! 374 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,655 No, not really. 375 00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,570 Oh, a taquito's like a little chimichanga kind of thing? 376 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,399 Man, I could go for an enchilada right now. 377 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,705 Yeah, could we get going here? 378 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:24,924 I've got a bit of a time crunch. 379 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,969 Yeah, okay, you're right, you're right. 380 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,579 Look, Richard, we don't want to sacrifice quality 381 00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:29,885 by rushing things here, okay? 382 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,627 Because this present could be your last chance 383 00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,020 to earn your father's respect. 384 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,457 How about I turn my fist into a 5-fingered present 385 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,024 and start gifting you in the face? 386 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,851 I mean, I'm sure he'll be impressed 387 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:42,376 no matter how expensive and fabulous 388 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:44,204 the spa day with Megan proves to be. 389 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:45,248 Oh, fuck me! 390 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,815 Candy, you almost ready? 391 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,948 Yeah, just got to shake out the girls. 392 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,166 Okay, good to go? 393 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,907 Ahh, fuck! 394 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,474 My back! Fuck! 395 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:54,910 Oh, God! 396 00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,042 Can someone get me some ice? 397 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,260 On it! 398 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,045 Candy, uh, I don't mean to press, 399 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:02,048 but as they say in the industry, we are going limp here. 400 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,398 Richard, Miss Box is injured, okay? 401 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:05,660 And the health of our cast and crew 402 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,009 is far more important than any film! 403 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,619 Oh, so now it's just a film? 404 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:11,057 What happened to last chance to earn the old man's respect? 405 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,015 You know what, if you give me 5 minutes on my back, 406 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,843 then I'll be ready for 5 hours on my back. 407 00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,018 You know what I'm saying? 408 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,498 I don't. 409 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,847 [Phone ringing] 410 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:22,155 Hey, what'd I say about cell phones on the set? 411 00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:23,373 Hello? 412 00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:24,635 Outside, now! 413 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:25,680 Fuck! 414 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:26,681 Hey, where you going? 415 00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,291 We got to shoot this puppy! 416 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,424 Oh, no, darlings, no! 417 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:34,515 It's just an expression, like can't get wood or pink sock. 418 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,647 Oh, pink sock is where your rectum prolapses 419 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,519 from repeatedly blasted-- 420 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:39,955 Oh, look, kids, here's the ice! 421 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,870 Thanks, doll. 422 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,524 You think maybe we could start with a scene 423 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,526 where I'm sitting down? 424 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:49,095 Kids, go get Mommy her muscle relaxants from her purse! 425 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,618 And a beer! 426 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:53,534 Okay! 427 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,188 Hot, right? 428 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:58,713 You can't be here! 429 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,193 Oh, really? 430 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,021 I know what you're doing in there. 431 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,500 You're shooting porn! 432 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:07,200 You disgust me with your sexual exploitation of women, 433 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,115 and I need you to put me in that movie! 434 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,117 You are underage, so no, no, no! 435 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,814 That's the whole point. 436 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,250 If I'm in the movie, 437 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,644 then Fitz becomes a child pornographer, 438 00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:17,906 and Cara, the junior survivalist, 439 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:20,865 gets her man and her gets-her-man badge! 440 00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:23,259 Well, I am no narc! 441 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:27,220 So deal with it. 442 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,482 I tell the cops you kissed me, 443 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,571 and you'll be the one going up-river. 444 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,876 So, who's it going to be, Josh? 445 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,357 You, or Fitz? 446 00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:38,405 You know, you can't blackmail me, not if I do this. 447 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,192 Oh, no! 448 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,760 What happened to your precious incriminating evidence? 449 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,762 Oh, what do you think of this? Or that? 450 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,416 What happens if I did that a little bit? 451 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:52,636 Or maybe if I did a little bit of this. 452 00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:55,030 [Singing] 453 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,728 That was your phone. 454 00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,600 Oh, fuck! 455 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,123 You know what? 456 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,690 You still can't come in! 457 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:07,216 [Snapping fingers] 458 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:10,263 Going to get a new phone! 459 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,661 You ever thought about going pro? 460 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,142 5 or 10 thousand dollars worth of plastic surgery 461 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,143 and you'd be a natural! 462 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,406 Oh, uh, thank you, 463 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,887 but um, all those different partners, I don't know. 464 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:28,890 Honey, I had the same co-star for years. 465 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:33,460 Closest thing I ever had to love. 466 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,852 Hairy mother-fucker! 467 00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,027 Places! 468 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,987 Think about it. 469 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,554 Let's go, people, come on! 470 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,734 Richard, we really need to discuss-- 471 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:47,952 Trans-fuckers, 472 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,563 directed by Richard Fitzpatrick. 473 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,217 Cameraman, Joshua McTaggert. 474 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,219 Take 1, scene 1, shot 1. 475 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,220 And-- 476 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,656 Action! 477 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,658 Oh, God! 478 00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:59,660 Get over here! 479 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,271 You sexy mother-fucker! 480 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:04,708 Oh! 481 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,842 [Cracking] Ahh! 482 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,844 Oh, my back! 483 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:10,845 Cut it! 484 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:11,846 No, it's fine, it's fine. 485 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:13,064 I'm a professional, okay? 486 00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,501 I went into labour with that one, 487 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:15,980 and still managed to gang-bang a whole IT department 488 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,417 on IT Department Gang-bang 4. 489 00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:18,548 Going again. 490 00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:21,072 All right, well, let's try it again! 491 00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:23,684 Uh, places, everybody, back to one. 492 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,512 Trans-fuckers, Richard Fitzpatrick director-- 493 00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,557 Oh, fuck, hurry up, okay! 494 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,255 Okay, we're doing the slate! 495 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,517 Jesus, action! 496 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,736 No, I'm supposed to fucking say, "Action!" 497 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:33,824 Well then, say "Action!" 498 00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,305 All right, here we go, and action! 499 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,306 Oh, baby! 500 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:41,180 Oh, you are so hot! 501 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,705 Oh, baby! 502 00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,272 Yeah, baby. 503 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,491 Check out my master cylinder. 504 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,580 Oh! 505 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,408 Oh, fuck! 506 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,496 My fucking contact lens! 507 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,237 Oh, my God! 508 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,196 It got me right in the eye! 509 00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,503 Cutting. 510 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:04,942 [Kids giggling] 511 00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:07,684 Oh, these damn implants. 512 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,556 They get my spine twisted up like a pretzel. 513 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:10,948 Yeah. 514 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,124 The things I do to keep these kids in Montessori. 515 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,343 Hmm. 516 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,779 Call me, I owe you guys another go-around. 517 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,085 Okay, dear. 518 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,783 Okay, boys, up, up and away! 519 00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:22,612 Bye, guys, see you later! 520 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:26,921 Bye, whoo! 521 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,662 You know, it might not be too late 522 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,664 to write Ken a nice birthday poem? 523 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:33,275 Here's a poem. 524 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:38,280 Roses are red, Larry, fuck off! 525 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,326 That doesn't even rhyme. 526 00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,808 I could have just dropped you off at home. 527 00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:46,549 It would have given us more time to listen to that new Enya CD. 528 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,334 It's very relaxing! 529 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,335 Where-- 530 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,901 Daddy! 531 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:55,036 You forgot your body butter! 532 00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:57,038 All right, shut it down! 533 00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,039 What are you, deaf? 534 00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,170 That's a wrap! 535 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,216 Show's over, we're done here! 536 00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,217 Done? 537 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,306 Done with what, dickwad? 538 00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:08,397 Oh, uh, it was supposed to be a surprise, Sir. 539 00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:11,357 Richard was making a present for your birthday. 540 00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:14,621 What, another fucking ashtray? 541 00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,623 No, Sir, not another ashtray. 542 00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:17,841 It's a pornographic film! 543 00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:19,974 That's right, it was actually very sweet. 544 00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,281 He even hired your fantasy sweetheart. 545 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,457 Candy Box? 546 00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:25,632 How the hell old is she now? 547 00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:27,547 34, you moron. 548 00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:28,852 So, what? 549 00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:30,463 In stripper years, that's like 105. 550 00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:32,465 I haven't cranked the bats to her in years. 551 00:21:32,465 --> 00:21:33,814 Yeah well, the shoot's not happening. 552 00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,772 Our star blew her back out 553 00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:38,558 before she could blow anything else. 554 00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:40,647 Happy fucking birthday! 555 00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:42,039 Oh, wait! 556 00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:43,780 [Laughing] 557 00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:46,043 You're such a quitter. 558 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:48,394 One setback, and you bail. 559 00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,700 You can't make porn without vagina. 560 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,180 Oh, I have a vagina! 561 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,355 I could do it. 562 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,661 Hi, there. 563 00:21:54,661 --> 00:21:55,836 Uh, or me? 564 00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:57,925 Ha, there you go. 565 00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:59,230 Hey! 566 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:02,277 Sonya, no. 567 00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:04,410 You would do that? 568 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:07,064 Yes, uh, as long as it's with Fitz. 569 00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:09,328 No, nuh-uh, you're a bunch of sick fuckers. 570 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,808 There's no way that I'm starring 571 00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:14,376 in a birthday-present spank movie for my old man! 572 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,160 You got that right! 573 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,466 I don't want to watch it. 574 00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:19,599 I want to sell it! 575 00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,645 Money, now there's a fucking birthday present. 576 00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:31,480 Ugh! 577 00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:39,619 I'm not so sure this is a good idea. 578 00:22:39,619 --> 00:22:41,447 I mean, Candy Box was a trained professional. 579 00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:42,535 This was just another day at the office for her-- 580 00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:44,188 Oh! 581 00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:45,842 Hey, it's just sex. 582 00:22:45,842 --> 00:22:48,062 It's not like we haven't had sex in public before, right babe? 583 00:22:48,062 --> 00:22:50,151 Guilty as charged. 584 00:22:50,151 --> 00:22:51,326 How do I look? 585 00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:52,632 Smoking. 586 00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,721 Vulnerable. 587 00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:56,636 Hey, making this video for Ken 588 00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:57,985 was your idea in the first place. 589 00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:59,378 Now be my conscience and help me! 590 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:00,509 How? 591 00:23:00,509 --> 00:23:01,728 I don't know, go fluff something. 592 00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:04,513 Just get out of here! 593 00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:06,297 You sure you're okay with this? 594 00:23:06,297 --> 00:23:08,952 I mean, I don't need another lawsuit. 595 00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:11,085 Of course I'm sure. 596 00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,305 We care about each other, and I want to help. 597 00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:17,961 You ready? 598 00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:21,008 Yeah, yeah, I just need a minute. 599 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,713 Fuck. 600 00:23:32,846 --> 00:23:34,456 Richard! 601 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:35,501 Just a minute. 602 00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:36,632 Okay. 603 00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:39,809 Uh, I bet it's just a case of nerves. 604 00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:41,071 You know, it's um-- 605 00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:42,072 You know what? 606 00:23:42,072 --> 00:23:43,726 Let's help Richard out, okay? 607 00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:45,641 He doesn't have to be the only one 608 00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:47,600 whose epidermis is showing, right? 609 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,558 Richard, come on, buddy, I'm here for you! 610 00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,342 No need to be self-conscious, fist bump! 611 00:23:51,342 --> 00:23:53,606 All right, roll camera. 612 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:56,522 Okay, rolling. 613 00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,349 Okay, okay. 614 00:24:02,136 --> 00:24:04,138 Still, still rolling. 615 00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:07,620 Is everything okay? 616 00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:09,665 Yeah. 617 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,626 Okay, time. 618 00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:15,802 What are you-- 619 00:24:15,802 --> 00:24:17,020 What's wrong? 620 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:18,631 Did I do something wrong? 621 00:24:18,631 --> 00:24:21,198 The man needs a moment! 622 00:24:21,198 --> 00:24:23,679 Come on, little buddy. 623 00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:27,466 Get your head in the game. 624 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:30,120 Richard, you're having a moment. 625 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,513 Fuck off, Larry. 626 00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,123 I see what's happening here. 627 00:24:33,123 --> 00:24:35,169 Okay, there is a part of you that does not want to do this. 628 00:24:35,169 --> 00:24:36,518 Yeah, my dick. 629 00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:38,041 Richard, you are no less of a man 630 00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:40,261 because you cannot bring yourself to exploit Sonya. 631 00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:42,263 Oh I can bring myself to exploit Sonya just fine! 632 00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:43,525 [Crashing] 633 00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,396 In fact, it makes you even more of a man, 634 00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,486 and this is more of a gift to Ken 635 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,663 than any old pornographic film! 636 00:24:50,663 --> 00:24:53,492 Richard, you are an empath! 637 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,929 Fuck you, I am not! 638 00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:57,670 Oh, hey, hey! 639 00:24:57,670 --> 00:25:00,237 [Shouting] 640 00:25:00,237 --> 00:25:01,543 I'm protecting you, Richard! 641 00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,850 We're finally working together! 642 00:25:03,850 --> 00:25:05,025 So you won't fool around on camera with me, 643 00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:06,156 but it's okay with him! 644 00:25:06,156 --> 00:25:07,549 You're ruining my porno! 645 00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:09,551 You're ruining your own porno! 646 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,466 Get out of my life! 647 00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:13,337 I can't get out of your life until you're whole again! 648 00:25:13,337 --> 00:25:14,861 Damn it, we're one! 649 00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:19,692 We're like two reflections in a mirror! 650 00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:22,869 We're two pieces of a coin. 651 00:25:22,869 --> 00:25:26,220 [Laughing] 652 00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:28,875 [Screaming] 653 00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:31,094 300,000 hits? 654 00:25:31,094 --> 00:25:33,575 This thing could have made some real coin, 655 00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:36,622 and that shit stain puts it online for free. 656 00:25:39,363 --> 00:25:41,061 What you watching there, sweetie? 657 00:25:41,061 --> 00:25:43,019 Uncle Larry and Uncle Richard fighting. 658 00:25:43,019 --> 00:25:45,152 What else is new? 659 00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:48,198 They're not wearing any pants. 660 00:25:57,338 --> 00:26:00,559 Fuck, argh! 661 00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:05,564 I must admit, these production values are really top-notch. 662 00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:08,654 Hmm, cousin, I have to agree. 663 00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:13,702 [Shouting on-screen] 664 00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:24,017 A wise man once said, 665 00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:27,020 give love and you'll get love in return. 666 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,544 I think it was Jesus, but it might have been Sting! 667 00:26:29,544 --> 00:26:31,677 You're a dead man, Larry, a dead man! 668 00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:36,377 We're going down together! 669 00:26:36,377 --> 00:26:46,430 ♪ 45217

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