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1
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,986
FITZ:
A car is like a woman.
2
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:34,164
At first, you can't live
without her.
3
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:37,733
But inevitably, the ship
breaks down.
4
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,040
[Whistling]
5
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,302
Nice ride!
6
00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:43,043
This baby has it all!
7
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,958
Stock 500 cubic-inch,
8.2 litre V8,
8
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:48,483
3-speed automatic transmission.
9
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,137
Wheels!
10
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,616
How much you selling it for?
11
00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:52,878
3 G's.
12
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,532
Dude, you're practically
giving it away!
13
00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:55,794
Can I have it?
14
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,013
3's all it deserves.
15
00:00:57,013 --> 00:01:00,103
Menthols, pantyhose, vinegar.
16
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:03,106
I knew I smelled
a geriatric whore.
17
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:06,675
What the fuck is your mother's
sled doing in my garage?
18
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,068
Take it easy, old man.
19
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,069
It's as good as gone.
20
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,461
It better be.
21
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,334
I don't want anything around
here that reminds me
22
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:14,900
of that antique sperm thermos.
23
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,859
[Laughing]
24
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:21,255
It's bad enough I have to look
at you every day.
25
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:25,041
You wanted her because
she was new, pristine.
26
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:29,872
But then,
there's that first dent.
27
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:33,310
The mystery scratch.
28
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,096
And one day, you realize
29
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,620
you don't get that rush
of excitement
30
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:41,275
when you slide into her
and go for a ride.
31
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,454
And when she gets so beat up
32
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,760
you can't even keep her
on the road anymore,
33
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,849
time to dump her
on the market.
34
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:53,200
Well, I must admit
I'm a little concerned
35
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,854
with all the, uh,
Oedipal imagery
36
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,160
you painted
in that metaphor.
37
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,335
Oh, shut the fuck up!
38
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,164
Look, Richard,
I know the trip to Mom's
39
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:03,123
didn't go as well
as we'd hoped,
40
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,038
but did you have
to steal her car?
41
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,737
Come on, get it all
out of your system.
42
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,304
Tell me how I'm regressing
when I should be evolving,
43
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:14,438
that stealing Elaine's car was
classic bad-child behaviour.
44
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:17,180
Looking to get any attention,
even negative attention.
45
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,791
Well, those are excellent
points, and you're right.
46
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:20,792
I probably would say
those things.
47
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,707
Probably?
48
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,274
If I wasn't so terrified
about what she's going to do
49
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,189
when she finds out
we have her car!
50
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,495
Richard, this is Mom
we're dealing with here.
51
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,236
You know how angry she gets.
52
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,846
Yes, I do!
53
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,500
Because she's my mother,
not yours.
54
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,154
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a customer.
55
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,944
Only one way this car
could get any sexier.
56
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:43,380
Me behind the wheel!
57
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,512
Phil Bouvier.
58
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,992
Richard Fitzpatrick,
call me Fitz.
59
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,994
Want to go for a ride?
60
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,216
Why should you be stuck
with her?
61
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,609
Ow!
62
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:58,395
Let her be somebody else's
problem.
63
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:01,181
Get on with your life,
and in time,
64
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,184
you'll forget she ever existed.
65
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,321
All right,
you botched abortion.
66
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,368
Where's my mother-fucking car?
67
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:23,899
♪ Without you
68
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:26,815
♪ I'd find my smile
69
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,383
♪ Without you
70
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,820
♪ I'd have won by a mile
71
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,301
♪ Without you
72
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:37,913
♪ Oh, life could be so grand
73
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,828
♪ Without you
74
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:43,701
♪ I'm half a man
75
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:57,237
♪ Without you
76
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,719
All right, Elaine,
don't shit a shitter.
77
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,722
You're here about those divorce
papers, aren't you?
78
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:08,335
It's been 25 years,
and you still can't spell!
79
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,816
I know how happy you'd be
if I signed those papers.
80
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,775
The one thing in the world
I hate most
81
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,080
is making you happy.
82
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,692
I still have your death
to look forward to.
83
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:21,565
But right now, I'd just like
to get my fuckin' car back.
84
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,263
I've got no idea
what you're talking about.
85
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,525
That's what I said!
86
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,397
You know how I know
when you're lying?
87
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:30,444
Your lips are moving.
88
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,754
Well...
89
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:45,633
Well?
90
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:46,764
Okay!
91
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:47,765
Okay, it's gone.
92
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,071
Okay, Richard
already sold it.
93
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:49,854
I tried to stop him,
but he wouldn't listen.
94
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:50,855
I'm so sorry!
95
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,641
This is your dead hooker.
96
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:57,645
You clean it up!
97
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,473
I want my car.
98
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,691
And if I say
go fuck yourself?
99
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,389
I'm going to go to the police.
100
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,216
Yeah, I call bullshit.
101
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,218
You wouldn't be here if you
could go to the police.
102
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:07,959
You sure you want to make
this bet with me?
103
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,048
House always wins, Mom!
104
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,441
And you're in my house now.
105
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:14,705
Richard!
106
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,751
You are skating on thin ice
as it is.
107
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,796
Okay, how do you think it would
look if your own mother
108
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,407
pressed grand-theft auto charges
against you?
109
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,626
He put a woman in a coma,
accidentally of course.
110
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:23,845
Thanks, Larry!
111
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,413
Anything else you want
to tell her?
112
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,631
Oh, uh, yes.
113
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:31,722
I like your outfit!
114
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,682
[Sighing]
115
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,727
24 hours!
116
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:39,251
That's it.
117
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:42,298
Yes, ma'am.
118
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:43,908
Look Richard,
119
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,867
I would travel to the ends
of the earth to assist you--
120
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,608
You'll do shit
and like it!
121
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,392
But we need to find that car
for her,
122
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,959
and we need to get that woman
out of your life
123
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,569
before she does any more damage
124
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,789
to your wounded and possibly
irreparable psyche.
125
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:57,835
Richard, please do not leave me
here with her.
126
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,105
Mother of God!
127
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,586
Saul, when are you going
to take out this trash?
128
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,676
Damn it, Saul!
129
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,591
Would you get off the computer
and answer me please?
130
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,507
Dad's gone
to his new apartment.
131
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,509
Sweetie,
don't make up stories.
132
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,642
Your daddy sleeps here,
on the couch!
133
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:28,562
Sometimes, mommies and daddies
grow apart.
134
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,520
And when they do, they have to
make some difficult decisions.
135
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,523
Oh, my God!
136
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,959
He really left this time?
137
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,526
Don't worry, Mom.
138
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:37,527
It's not your fault.
139
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:41,662
Are you saying
it's your fault?
140
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:45,274
What I'm saying is you and Dad
will always love me.
141
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,755
Promise?
142
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:51,498
Even broken homes can be
happy homes, Mom.
143
00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:02,465
[Crying]
144
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,032
Ahh!
145
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,258
Here's the sales contract.
146
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,522
Your mom seems nice.
147
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,480
Elaine's only capable
of two emotions.
148
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,526
Anger and smoking.
149
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:20,744
I heard that a man's
relationship with his mother
150
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,138
defines the kind of husband
he'll make.
151
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,661
Who said that?
152
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,271
Your mother, just now.
153
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,403
What else did she say?
154
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,405
That you'll fire me
when I turn 30.
155
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,059
Don't you see
what she's doing?
156
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,104
She's mixing up lies
and the truth
157
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,410
so you don't know what
to believe.
158
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:35,411
Just ignore her.
159
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,978
Which ones are the lies?
160
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:40,982
Good fucking question.
161
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:43,245
Hello, DUI?
162
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,508
What?
163
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:48,424
I can't believe the fucker
snowed us, man.
164
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,382
Why would he give us
a fake telephone number,
165
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:51,688
and then pay full sticker?
166
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,124
I just--
167
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,125
I feel so used!
168
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,388
Hey, that looks
just like him.
169
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:57,955
What are the odds?
170
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,653
Hey, fuckers!
171
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:03,744
I need to talk to you
about that car.
172
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,181
Ah, I knew that price
was too good to be true.
173
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,488
So you come down here to tap me
for an extra couple grand.
174
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,663
Is that your game?
175
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,360
I just want to buy
the car back.
176
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:15,886
No can do.
177
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,540
I don't think you understand.
I need that car!
178
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,674
I tell you what?
179
00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:21,718
I'll play you for it.
180
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,503
You win, I sell you back
the car.
181
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,417
I win, you owe me $500.
182
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:29,552
But I got to warn you,
I've been practicing.
183
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:32,773
Nice!
184
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:35,819
Fine, I've been
practicing too.
185
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,390
Wow, you're good.
186
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,610
Too bad we're not playing darts.
187
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,133
But you just said--
188
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,830
You challenged me,
so I get to pick the game.
189
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,571
Staring contest.
190
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,790
You can't be serious!
191
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,269
Yeah, you're getting
an unfair advantage.
192
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,577
I'm very handsome.
193
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,539
You sure about this, man?
194
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,758
He is pretty hot.
195
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:08,417
You're on!
196
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,507
Okay, ready?
197
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,640
And primed!
198
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,685
[Gunshot]
199
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,445
I know you're in here.
200
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,621
Oh, uh--
201
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:42,407
Oh, here it is!
202
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,018
Listen, I know you're somebody
203
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,716
who has his finger
on the pulse around here.
204
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:49,327
And I need some answers.
205
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,546
Me?
206
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,504
No, no, not at all!
207
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:55,333
Actually, I'm usually the last
person to know what's going on,
208
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,509
which is why I'm having
such a difficult time
209
00:09:57,509 --> 00:10:00,556
dealing with your son's
210
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,385
psychological, uh, imperfections.
211
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:08,042
[Crying]
212
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:10,566
Why does everybody
hate me?
213
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:14,396
Why? Why?
214
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:15,963
[Crying]
215
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:18,443
Uh, well maybe,
216
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,403
and I'm just positing
a theory here,
217
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,926
but maybe it's because
you abandoned them
218
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,406
over 20 years ago,
219
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,278
leaving two small children
and a borderline sociopath
220
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:28,366
to fend for themselves.
221
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,281
I mean, what can I say?
222
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,674
I wasn't cut out for it.
223
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:33,284
I just--
224
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,895
I did it for
their own good.
225
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:38,420
I thought they'd be stronger
without me, especially Richard!
226
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,902
I mean, he hung on me
like a retarded fungus.
227
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:46,733
Uh, well, have you ever
told him that?
228
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,125
You know, that you did
229
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,737
what you thought was best
for him at the time.
230
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,303
Are you kidding?
231
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,784
You think he'd listen
to a word I had to say to him?
232
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:59,484
Elaine, underneath the sarcasm
and chronic alcohol abuse
233
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:02,226
and shallow self-interest,
234
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,751
Richard is really a kind
and forgiving man.
235
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,274
And you know what?
236
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,363
Maybe, maybe now
that you're here,
237
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:12,454
there's hope to repair that
damaged mother-and-son bond!
238
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:17,502
[Laughing]
239
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:31,255
Just work with me here, okay?
240
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,172
Okay.
241
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:47,228
♪
242
00:11:58,674 --> 00:11:59,849
Da-da-da!
243
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,503
Fuck!
244
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,374
Ha!
Pay up, son!
245
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:06,247
Pay the man.
246
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,857
I'm still interested
in that car.
247
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,251
Well, actually, I haven't been
completely honest with you.
248
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,643
Really?
249
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,341
The truth is, I already
flipped it.
250
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,777
You just bought it
this morning.
251
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,126
What can I say?
252
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,171
I'm fickle.
253
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,650
Who'd you sell it to?
254
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,435
I'll play you for that
information, double or nothing!
255
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:21,262
No!
256
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,307
You're on!
257
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,268
[Gunshot]
258
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,835
I fucked your mom!
259
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,010
What?
260
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,185
Ugh!
261
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,317
Ha, ha!
Pay up, fucker!
262
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,841
I got to go
to the bank machine.
263
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,886
I need a drink.
264
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,371
Wine, baguette,
265
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,589
plus I got a brie
in my pocket.
266
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,026
Literally!
267
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,941
I didn't expect this
to be a lunch meeting.
268
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,594
Lunch meeting?
269
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,335
Oh, Chester, you didn't
think we were--
270
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,337
What, no, we're peers.
271
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:56,297
Couple former co-workers getting
together to talk about law.
272
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,951
And yeah, fun!
273
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,474
What's up?
274
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:04,174
We found the steering wheel
from my mother's accident.
275
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,263
Evidence that she wasn't
driving that car.
276
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:07,569
Richard Fitzpatrick was.
277
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:08,962
We?
278
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,660
I've been working
with a private investigator.
279
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,141
To falsify evidence
for a case
280
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,099
which I've already told you
doesn't have legs?
281
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,187
Just a guess.
282
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,972
Chester!
283
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,191
Richard Fitzpatrick almost
killed my mother!
284
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:23,280
Is this about your mother?
285
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,847
Or about the fact that you have
a thing for criminals?
286
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,675
I do--
287
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,242
I do not have a thing
for criminals.
288
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:32,333
2005, People vs. Packle
Kesselbaum?
289
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,638
You were supposed
to put him away,
290
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:37,120
but instead you let him
put his thing in your--
291
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,819
I'll be lunching alone.
292
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,211
Oh, Chester!
293
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,130
Shit!
294
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,264
Scotch!
295
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,919
Tequila!
296
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,224
What the hell
are you doing here?
297
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,660
Larry invited me, dickwad!
298
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,837
What crawled up your ass
and died?
299
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,316
You know what,
don't answer that.
300
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:02,189
Just go deal with it at
somebody else's watering hole.
301
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,712
[Slamming glasses]
302
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,322
Fuck you.
303
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,803
Larry found out Saul left me
and he told me to meet him here.
304
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:10,762
He said he had just the thing
to turn my frown upside-down.
305
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,286
Saul left you?
306
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,157
Two days ago!
307
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,419
Maybe if you weren't so selfish,
you'd have noticed.
308
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,768
I'm selfish?
309
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:19,249
You haven't slept with the guy
in six months.
310
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:22,296
He wouldn't paint
the garage!
311
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,254
You're both selfish
little shits.
312
00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,647
Why the fuck did Larry call
this meeting?
313
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,518
It's not the end
of the month!
314
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:28,737
Larry called you too?
315
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:31,131
What the hell's going on?
316
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,915
The Fitz family,
together again!
317
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,395
Scotch!
318
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,570
Bourbon.
319
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,398
Tequila!
320
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,921
Vodka.
321
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,227
Don't fill up on booze,
you guys!
322
00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:42,925
2-for-1 wings today,
he's bringing it!
323
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,201
[Slurping]
324
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,115
Ahh!
325
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,943
Mmm.
326
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:05,078
So Richard, any luck today
with finding Mom's car?
327
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,949
Yeah, about that--
328
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,255
How about you just tell her
you failed,
329
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,256
like you fail
everything else?
330
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,736
We can do this!
331
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,086
He's going to find it.
332
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:16,350
Why this sudden confidence
in this waste of skin?
333
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:19,179
Alcohol gives me hope.
334
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:23,270
Ha, ha, another round!
335
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,446
I hear that milquetoast husband
of yours
336
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:28,579
went out and got a spine
and bolted?
337
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:30,712
Saul and I
are taking a break.
338
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,148
Want some advice?
339
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,194
Not particularly.
340
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:37,806
Well, get on out there
and nail as many guys as you can
341
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:41,070
before you're 45,
because trust me,
342
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,724
it'll get a whole lot harder
from there on out.
343
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:45,988
Right, I should be like you.
344
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,816
Just dump my kid,
go have fun.
345
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,732
You know, when you look back
over your life, Megan,
346
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:54,083
you won't remember the men
that you've been with.
347
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:57,130
But you will remember
the ones that got away.
348
00:15:57,130 --> 00:16:00,568
I get it.
349
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:02,787
This is the TV movie moment
350
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,965
where you reveal that you had
to make a hard choice
351
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,184
between your family
and your heart,
352
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,056
and you chose your heart,
353
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,275
and you've regretted it
ever since.
354
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:16,018
And you can tearfully confess
that your childhood was ruined
355
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:19,108
because you didn't have
a mommy.
356
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:20,022
God, I hate those movies.
357
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,719
Oh, I have cancer!
358
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:23,373
I lost all my hair
from chemotherapy.
359
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,027
Please forgive me!
360
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,159
Only if you forgive me
361
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:28,204
for overcoming adversity
with a plucky--
362
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,337
ALL:
can-do attitude!
363
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:31,947
[Laughing]
364
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,994
Yeah, and then the tears
and the hugs, and the love!
365
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,913
- Scotch!
- Tequila!
366
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:42,914
Bourbon!
367
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:46,048
Vodka, please!
368
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,049
Hey guys, how you doing?
369
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,398
Oh, wings!
370
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:49,617
Uh, you need to come outside
to see something.
371
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:52,663
Um, it has to do
with the yel-do ar-edo.
372
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,236
But the steering wheel!
373
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,803
The fingerprints!
374
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:04,066
I practically wrapped an
indictment up in a bow for you!
375
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,068
Cara, listen to me!
376
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:09,115
I know how harmful
an obsession can be.
377
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,377
You're a smart girl.
378
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:13,989
And you're a smart,
attractive woman.
379
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:18,037
The kind of woman that any girl
would be proud to call mentor!
380
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,083
Okay, well there
is no case, Cara.
381
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:24,086
So please, just go now.
382
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:34,227
Oh, thank goodness it's safe!
383
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,924
First thing tomorrow,
384
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,056
we're going to march
on over there
385
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,666
and buy that car back for you.
386
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:40,537
Or we could take it back.
387
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,235
Richard, you can't just march
onto the Ruptals' lot
388
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,019
and take that car.
389
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,151
That's stealing!
390
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:48,284
And they have security cameras.
391
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:52,375
Well, there's always
the Wellington widow.
392
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,029
The Wellington widow?
393
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,988
I should have known Ken
wouldn't have taught you that.
394
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,990
Bastard had no respect
for the classics.
395
00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:00,818
I know what it is!
396
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:04,518
I also know
it's a 2-man con.
397
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,520
Oh, what, you and me?
398
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,131
Hello, stolen car!
399
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,525
Hello, ruined childhood!
400
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,917
Oh geez, I don't know.
401
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,224
You and your mother spending
quality time together.
402
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,008
That's good, but committing
a crime?
403
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,836
That is bad!
404
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,795
BOTH:
Shut the fuck up, Larry!
405
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,840
Okay.
406
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,726
It's simple.
407
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:41,032
All you have to do is get Ken
to sign these fake contracts
408
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,599
on the hood of the black Caddy
409
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:44,253
while Mom and I are
on the Ruptals' lot.
410
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,298
I can't do that, Richard.
411
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,908
I'd be committing a crime.
412
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:49,040
No, you'd be distracting the
Ruptals while I commit a crime.
413
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,520
It's an entirely
different thing.
414
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,174
I don't know.
415
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,784
Trust, amigo!
416
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,395
Aren't you the one
who's always going on
417
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,614
about the importance
of learning to trust again?
418
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,573
Cadillac's in place, dude,
right where you wanted it.
419
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,009
If you don't take this job,
I'll give it to Josh.
420
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,619
What job?
421
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:03,620
And then he'll screw it up.
422
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,926
But I don't know
what job it is.
423
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,101
And then, Elaine won't get
her car back,
424
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,320
and everything you've worked
for here,
425
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,538
all this family bonding
bullshit unravels.
426
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:09,713
That's bullshit!
427
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:10,714
Is that what you want, Larry?
428
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:11,759
Come on, Larry!
429
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:14,805
Be a team player
for once, fuck!
430
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:32,649
Mmm!
431
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,956
Come on, lady!
432
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,218
Fuck him!
433
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,829
Fuck Fitzpatrick!
434
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:42,659
If you want a Caddy,
you come to Ruptal World!
435
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,445
That's right,
you're under my spell!
436
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:47,882
Come on, lady!
437
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:50,885
We've got a better selection
at more reasonable prices!
438
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:53,192
Come to Ruptal World!
439
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,845
Please!
440
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,413
It does not seem
to be working.
441
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,067
Just act like
we're making a deal.
442
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:02,810
Uh, buy this car!
443
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,552
Blah, blah, blah
444
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:08,598
So, what are you going to do
with your share of the money?
445
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,210
Well, Mama needs a new pair
of party tits.
446
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,907
What are you going to do
with yours?
447
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:16,824
Waste it on some cheap hookers
and blow, like your old man?
448
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,826
No.
449
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:19,740
Got a little honey somewhere?
450
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,351
Couple more big sales,
451
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,005
I'm going to open up
a place of my own.
452
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,312
You're going to open up
your own lot?
453
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,009
Up against your old man?
454
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,271
I love it!
455
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:32,405
Summer Wind cocktail lounge.
456
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,841
A real classy joint.
457
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:37,279
A lounge, huh?
458
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,890
I can actually see you
pulling that off.
459
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,327
You got to stop by some time.
460
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,980
I'll show you the piece of land
I've got picked out.
461
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:45,592
I just might.
462
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,774
They're looking over here,
463
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:57,299
so let's just shake hands
like we made a deal, huh?
464
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:59,301
Sure.
465
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,828
Okay, make a pass at me.
466
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,701
Um--
467
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:10,530
That wasn't part
of the plan?
468
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,662
Grab my ass,
and do it now.
469
00:21:12,662 --> 00:21:16,753
It's got to look like business
for these two little genies.
470
00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,799
Come on.
471
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:29,418
Oh!
472
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,771
[Laughing]
Do it again!
473
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:36,382
No, no way!
474
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,427
Do it again, come on!
475
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:39,689
Oh!
476
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:40,995
[Gasping]
477
00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:44,041
Go to hell!
478
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:56,097
Mr. Fitzpatrick?
479
00:21:56,097 --> 00:21:57,794
[Crying]
480
00:21:57,794 --> 00:21:59,666
Yes, cousin, yes!
481
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:00,754
You have hypnotized her!
482
00:22:00,754 --> 00:22:03,887
You have the power!
483
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:10,633
I am, I am so sorry
to bother you.
484
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:12,200
I've just had the worst week!
485
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,202
No, no, no!
486
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:15,203
It is not a bother!
487
00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:19,860
My Murray just passed away!
488
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:22,384
Rectal cancer.
489
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:26,040
Oh, we are truly sorry that the
excesses of Western decadence
490
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,390
finally overpowered
your Murray's rectum.
491
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:32,002
His dying wish was to be buried
in a car just like that.
492
00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:34,570
It's like our Uncle Farsad.
493
00:22:34,570 --> 00:22:37,138
Buried in the belly
of a donkey
494
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:38,444
for being a traitor.
495
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:41,751
Trader of high-quality
Gucci-like sunglasses.
496
00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:44,841
Ma'am, I want to apologize.
497
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:47,583
I called the bank,
and your cheque cleared.
498
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:51,239
And just to make it up to you,
499
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:53,589
I want to give you
this $2000 in cash.
500
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,635
You don't have to spend it
at Fitz,
501
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:58,202
but we'd sure appreciate it
if you came back to us.
502
00:22:58,202 --> 00:22:59,682
Well, I--
503
00:22:59,682 --> 00:23:02,511
It's just something
to think about.
504
00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:03,860
I'm sure these fellas
have a car too.
505
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:07,386
Overpriced, of course,
but some people like that.
506
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,736
Come on, I don't know
what to do!
507
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:11,738
Will you go away?
508
00:23:11,738 --> 00:23:13,740
Okay, a man has
recently died.
509
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,785
Show some respect, please!
510
00:23:18,614 --> 00:23:21,487
Maybe I should go back
with Mr. Fitzpatrick.
511
00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:22,749
He's repellent, I know,
512
00:23:22,749 --> 00:23:25,708
but he did just give me
this cash.
513
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:29,495
And I did clear your cashier's
cheque for $20,000.
514
00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:30,583
No, no, no, no!
515
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,193
See, see, we will honour
your cheque
516
00:23:32,193 --> 00:23:34,587
and pay you the difference.
517
00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:37,590
Listen, you'll get the car,
get $10,000
518
00:23:37,590 --> 00:23:39,548
and you'll get to keep
Mr. Fitz's money, as well.
519
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:43,465
I don't know,
that just seems dishonest.
520
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,641
Oh, but it is all
a moot point now.
521
00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:48,470
Look!
522
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:52,561
Ah, the gangly owner sold
the car out from underneath you!
523
00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:54,128
Your father is sealing the deal
right now.
524
00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:55,521
That's right, Fitz!
525
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:58,654
Now you're the one that's been
god-fuckered!
526
00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:03,659
Well, my Murray led me
to the right people.
527
00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:06,532
Come on,
let's make a deal.
528
00:24:06,532 --> 00:24:09,578
Please, please, let's go.
529
00:24:19,675 --> 00:24:21,460
Made 5G's on
a 2-grand investment.
530
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,593
Got Mom's car back,
screwed over the Ruptals.
531
00:24:24,593 --> 00:24:27,596
Who knows, if the old lady
sticks around for a while,
532
00:24:27,596 --> 00:24:28,771
we might make some real coin.
533
00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:30,469
Trust, dimwit.
534
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,472
For once, your stupid advice
paid off.
535
00:24:36,431 --> 00:24:39,565
Are those the contracts
that Ken signed?
536
00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:41,523
Yes, ma'am.
537
00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:49,575
Oh!
[Laughing]
538
00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:52,142
Now, you give this copy
539
00:24:52,142 --> 00:24:56,930
to that dehydrated testicle
you call your father.
540
00:24:56,930 --> 00:24:58,932
Fake contracts?
541
00:24:58,932 --> 00:25:00,673
No, stupid.
542
00:25:00,673 --> 00:25:02,544
Those are our divorce papers.
543
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:04,981
My last tether
to this family of losers!
544
00:25:12,946 --> 00:25:15,514
[Laughing]
545
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,341
You're here for those divorce
papers, aren't you?
546
00:25:17,341 --> 00:25:19,822
I'd just like to get
my fucking car back.
547
00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:21,041
Why does everybody hate me?
548
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:23,565
What, you and me?
549
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,827
Why this sudden confidence
in this waste of skin?
550
00:25:24,827 --> 00:25:26,394
[Laughing]
551
00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:27,482
Oh!
552
00:25:27,482 --> 00:25:28,483
Vodka.
553
00:25:28,483 --> 00:25:33,444
[Laughing]
554
00:25:33,444 --> 00:25:36,491
Phil, baby,
get over here!
555
00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:40,582
Thanks, fuckers!
556
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:42,062
Let's get out of here.
557
00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:45,195
And I really did, you know,
with your mom.
558
00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:54,814
Trust?
559
00:25:54,814 --> 00:25:56,859
Ugh!
560
00:26:06,739 --> 00:26:08,741
Fuck!
561
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:34,331
Ugh, that bitch!
562
00:26:37,421 --> 00:26:38,553
Okay, be good, sweetie.
563
00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:40,337
I'll see you in two sleeps.
564
00:26:40,337 --> 00:26:41,730
And what do you say
to Daddy's new girlfriend?
565
00:26:41,730 --> 00:26:44,603
That your food is better,
and her boobs are fake.
566
00:26:56,658 --> 00:27:06,799
♪
567
00:27:24,599 --> 00:27:34,609
♪
38814
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