Original subtitles

Long ago, our galaxy was

ruled by an alien race called

the Iridians, whose power and

technology were far beyond

human comprehension.

Though they disappeared ages

ago, they left behind

fragments of their technology, scraps

that became the foundation for

all human advancement.

But the Iridians' greatest

secrets were hidden in a

vault located on the planet Pandora.

The once peaceful world was

overrun by corporations,

criminals, and treasure seekers

fighting

and killing one another for a

chance to find the vault.

But it remained hidden.

Then, amidst the clouds of

chaos, a glimmer of hope shone through.

A prophecy.

That one day, a daughter of

Oridia would open the vault

and restore order to the broken planet.

Yeah, that sounds like some

wacko BS, right?

I thought so too, until this

mess happened.

No air holes in there.

What a stupid hell.

Tina? Hey.

Roland, yeah, there's been

some, uh, there's been some trouble.

And Atlas, he sent me to

bring you to safety.

My dad sent me. That's right.

His shortest soldier.

Yeah, his shortest soldier, to

save his least funny daughter.

Code three, the turn bridge.

The station is open.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold on.

Target in sight! Come on!

Stop! Get down!

Get down! Come on!

Help!

Help! Thanks, don't you, ass bitch!

Wait, wait, wait! I can't turn my back!

Take me back myself!

It's time to change!

You're in my spot!

Pull him up! Pull him down!

Easy. What do you have? You said

me and you'd be friends. Sorry, Nuts.

Oh my god.

Who is this?

Creig, what's up, brother?

Hey.

Michael Brucker.

It's Creig, right?

Yeah.

What do you say you help me

get her out of here?

Of course, we can't all be

the daughter of Oridia.

Skipping down the path of destiny.

Some of us have to work for a living.

You don't have to do this, you know?

I can pay you.

Yeah, whatever's in my wallet

right now, it's yours, okay?

Shut up or I'll break your other arm.

Oh no, one arm's good. That's fine.

What's up?

Sorry.

When?

Lilith.

We do have a deceit scene now.

That he won't have any

trouble finding one.

Ah, not tonight. Top shows.

I'm not sure how top you

think the shelves are.

Hmm, buy your kids some dance lessons.

Hot day?

You remember that heist down

in Electricity last month?

Yeah, a couple of guards died.

Yeah, well this sad sack was

the trigger man.

Listen, I never meant to shoot anyone.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

Bounty hunting? It's for the young and

stupid, am I right?

Do you really want me to answer that?

I do not. Well, then.

Piss off.

I heard you were quite the

crusty old man.

Wait, wait, wait, we maybe

got off on the wrong foot.

You see, I represent a very wealthy man

who has a contract for you.

I've got a job, maybe next month.

You collect on that scum,

dead or alive, right?

Hey, not in here, big boy.

We don't want any trouble.

It's just, uh, my employer

is, uh, not one for waiting. Who is?

Well, you with these assholes?

Or are you just a fan of violence?

These hits won't work.

Or, should I say, worked for me?

I'll get Kimber to clean this up.

Thanks, Quint.

That was impressive.

I warned them not to underestimate you.

My name is Ducalian Atlas.

And, uh, hold on.

This is rather awkward.

Hey, you there, fat boy.

Put me on.

But she just killed Frank and Wes.

But she would never shoot a

man of your caliber.

As I was saying, my name is

Ducalian Atlas, president of

the Atlas Corporation.

Close up the name.

Look, this has been a really long day.

Can we just skip to Ireland,

wherever this is? Of course.

My daughter has been kidnapped

and I need her return to me.

Alani Hunter, not babysitter.

How many nuts and toy

soldiers you can send?

Yes, the Kinks of Lance.

Unfortunately, the kidnapper is

one of them.

I need an outsider.

Someone who knows how to

handle a planet full of psychos,

cacks, and thought hunters

like they weren't born there.

Your daughter's on Pandora?

Thoughts and prayers.

But you couldn't pay me

enough to set foot on that

shithole again.

Are you sure about that?

Well, maybe you could.

Okay, I'll start when my

current contract ends.

Seems like you're free to

start immediately.

Give her the beacon.

Activate this device when you

find my daughter and my

people will retrieve her.

You haven't disappointed so

far, will you?

I advise you not to start.

Sorry.

Oh, shit.

you've arrived at your

destination let me tell you

everything you need to know

about pandora

it's a shithole i should know

i'm from here god i hate

this planet it's the kind of place

you don't ever want to return to.

So, the sooner I find the girl,

the sooner I can get the

hell out of here.

The soldier had hijacked one

of Atlas's shuttles and crash

landed here months ago.

There wasn't much left of him.

He'd been stripped for parts

and vandalized by bolt hunters.

No way to know if he and

Tina even survived.

wanna know if you've seen her

but then I spoke to some

locals scavenger kids

barely scraping out of living

they told me Tina and the

soldier passed through

weeks ago heading north

towards Firestone then I ran

into some other

Locals, psychos, murderers, gangs.

It was time to catch a ride

and head north.

Hello, Bolt Hunter. Need a ride?

Not a Bolt Hunter, but...

Then welcome aboard.

People inside, bags up top.

Don't need any explosives going hot.

That is a mess to clean up, believe me.

Hello, passenger.

My name is Bob, but of

course you're not here for small talk.

You are here to find the bolt.

Uh, you can stop there.

Not a bolt under. Just need a ride.

If you say so.

Well, hello, brave Vault Hunter!

So, you've come in search of

the secret and lost Vault of

the Orideans.

Right here on Andorra!

Do you want to be rich

beyond your wildest dreams?

First you must find the keys,

then the vault itself, but it

won't be easy.

Could you tune this shit off?

Not a Vault Hunter.

Don't care, don't care.

This bus is for transporting

all Tompkins, so...

Will you be the one to find

the location?

Here in Canada, filled with

high-tech secrets and dangerous plants,

so you need superior

firepower, or shelter for the monkeys.

Next stop, Fire Skull, where

all the Tompkins begin. Uh, no.

Really, I am not...

I hope you find what you're

searching for two weeks on

the trail and it was as

was Pandora's Moons. Tina and

the soldier were long gone.

I needed a miracle, but I

got something else.

I was designed to withstand

all kinds of violent acts,

even completely unjustified

ones like yours.

Now I bet you're wondering,

what's the deal with this thing?

Uh no, I'm not.

I'm programmed

So I will process that as witty banter.

Beat it!

I'm a Hyperion Brat C04P-TP.

Possibly the last of my kind,

still in service.

But you can call me...

You accidentally shot me in

the face again.

As I was saying, you can

call me Cloptrap.

You know, I can do this all

night, so piss off.

Believe me, I wish I could

based on what little I've

experienced of your

horrendous personality.

But I have no time.

What do you mean?

Did Atlas send you?

Atlas? Yuck! I don't work for

the competition.

Now I've been lying dormant

under a garbage heap for,

calculating, 36 years.

But the moment you landed on

Pandora, I was reactivated

because I've been programmed

to help you upon your return.

No one knew I was coming

here, not even me. Who programmed you?

I don't know! Which is a

shame because you're an awful

person and I'd love to know

who to blame for this.

Since I don't, I have no

choice but to serve you until

you're dead.

Did that sound like a threat?

Sorry. Anyway, as long as

you're not dead, I'm here to

help, and I have many skills.

Balancing. Turning in circles.

I don't need a partner.

Uh, I can also access the Echo Nut?

Did you say Echo Nut?

Could you use it to find someone?

Of course. Just show me a

picture, I'll hack it, search

it, slowly dine visual banks

for matches, and find your

target's last known location. Find her.

She was last seen outside Firestone.

Accessing network.

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing.

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing.

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing.

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing.

Could you do it without the singing?

Yes!

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing.

Done!

Your target was last recorded

near an abandoned quarry in

the Tundra Express.

It's only 132 days on foot

with a 98% chance of being

eaten by a crawbaggot.

I like those odds!

We're gonna need some wheels.

It's the Crimson Lambs,

Zavos' private army.

What are they doing here?

Oh, Justin, just here?

Exactly the same thing you're doing.

And the lambs teaming up with

the psychos?

It seems like Atlas will hire

just about anyone to find his daughter.

Concentrating...

Ha! The lambs are leaving.

I guess they didn't find her.

You're out of character to

save those children.

Well, I needed a ride.

For a second there, I thought

you were a horrible person.

Phew, the world makes sense again.

Now there's only room for one

up front, but worry not.

I can sit on your lap. my battery.

Put me back to sleep. I won't tell.

You said you wanted to help.

I said I'd program them.

What I want to do is wipe

my memory, you horrendous she-devil.

Are you sure these are the

right coordinates?

Yes, this is the last known

location of your quarry. Get it?

But it looks like she's long

gone by now. Does it?

You know, it's quite a

menagerie you've got here.

You could start your own Pandoran zoo.

You must be Tina, name's Lola.

So that soldier who brought

you here, is he playing hide

and seek too?

He loves me.

I haven't seen him in years.

Well, I'm here to take you

home, dear father.

Yeah, he seems like a real,

uh, sweetheart.

What? My daddy?

I get to see my daddy?

Really? I've been so afraid.

Yeah, uh, speaking of you.

Daddy, I've just got to let

you know that I got you safe and sound.

I really love my daddy.

He's such a nurturing friend.

Sure, I'll take your word for it.

Miss Lillen, can you crowd

my ba-dunk-da-dunk?

You want that?

Time to make it rain!

With your body parts!

You still alive down there?

She seems deranged.

You two have a lot in common.

Oh wait, she's smaller, nicer, cuter.

Hope that wasn't something important.

Fix this.

Because, woo, it's toast.

Where'd you go?

Tina!

Look, I'm here to save you!

Do I look like I need saving?

Because I'm up here!

And you're hiding in your car!

Little bitch!

You get down here right now! Oh, Chris!

Fancy ass women is going to

run at your best friend!

I will lick your spine clean!

Hold up with psychos?

He only used to be a psycho.

Now he's my big brother! Oh, sweet!

What have you killed the other?

I'm gonna go get a coffee!

Tell him what she's won, Creed!

You've locked the wrong door!

Shoot him in the face!

Shoot him in the face again!

I was sent by your father

that's strange because I have

a father lady I know this

can mess with your mind.

My mind is awesome! My mind's so cool!

Listen, I don't want to be here.

Nothing personal. So if you

could just come with me and

you can talk to your dad and

you guys can

sort it out, family-style, I can...

Nice work, lady.

You lived straight to me.

So Atlas sent someone new to

find the girl.

Never would have thought it

was a scumbag bolt hunter.

Actually, I'm not a scumbag bolt hunter

No, it's not my fault you

suck at your job whoever you are

Who are you commander knocks

at the Crimson Lance and I'm

taking the girl with me.

Oh, yeah The one right behind me

Stay by me. I'll go.

Right.

And if you're both nice, I'll

put in a good word with daddy.

Sounds good to me.

Sergeant Russo, bring me a

neuro-caller for the girl.

Copy that, Commander.

Caller?

I love new jewelry!

Yeah, I got you against him.

Catch!

Will you bring red? Oh, shit!

Come on!

T-Tina!

Stop! She's coming with me!

I'll leave you alone for 10 minutes.

Get in the car.

It's okay, it's just me.

Wish I wasn't with you.

Get in the car!

Get on it, get on it!

Willis, wait for me!

What did I tell you?

Minimal intelligence!

I said no!

I said no!

Who the hell are you?

This is Lilith.

My dad sent her.

Oh.

She's a scumbag bounty hunter.

No, I am a high-end bounty hunter, pal.

No.

Letting kids get shot at was

not part of my job description.

Oh, I bet it wasn't.

Lilith!

Lilith!

You inadvertently left your

best friend behind! Help me!

Help me!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Go, go, go!

Hey, now's the time to get a chance!

What are you doing?

Just hoping you can reach out

and scoop me up!

You don't have to stop just yet!

Go easy on the merchandise!

Here I come!

All units, you are now weapon three.

Him? You know what? Who, me?

Who's driving the damn truck?

Driving? No, I'm driving.

They got us pinned!

Not yet, they don't. It worked.

Maybe.

Where are we?

This wasp's coming.

What's that smell?

Put the window up!

Why?

Put the window up!

What is that smell?

What does it...

Oh

Showers

All in the middle of my truck

I got a plan feels like we

blew a tire you call that a

plan it worked didn't it

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing.

Stabbing!

They should be after us by now.

Stingrays won't pursue without

ground support.

Docs will wait on reinforcements.

Let it down, big guy.

Before you added kidnapping to

your resume, you were an officer.

You're Crimson Lance, right?

Roland didn't kidnap me. He saved me.

Save you for what? A life of

ease and plenty?

My daddy thinks I'm the

daughter of Viridia. I can

open the vault. The vault?

That's what this shit is about?

You stole her for yourself.

Now, do you know how many

people have died looking for

that hole in the dirt?

Well, I do. My mother was one of them.

We have something they don't,

baby girl.

Oh, let me guess.

What? Spirit, can-do attitude, the

power of friendship?

Conscience.

Whatever's in that vault, a

man like Atlas can never get

his hands on it.

Hey, calm down, okay?

No, she's a stumbag bounty

hunter who works for Atlas.

Button, you think your band

of merry heroes can stop her?

Oh, we can try. We just

can't watch our backs while doing it.

So do me a favor, take your

weapon, toss it over here.

Grab some supplies, take a walk.

You know, when Atlas finds

out about that party back there,

I'm as good as dead.

So like it or not, we're on

the same side.

Aside, without an army, I might add.

So I hope you got a better

plan than driving down

a threshers' gullet.

No, but I know someone who does.

A scientist, a vault expert.

It was her idea to break

Tina out and collect the keys.

One key down, two more to go.

And of course, me! Load up.

Next stop, Sanctuary City.

Alright!

Roadtrip!

All right, mask up. I want

to keep a low profile.

This place sure has changed. The worst.

Oh my. Who's this handsome devil?

He's a badass killer.

And the reward's just gone up

to 150 grand.

Looks like you're not the

only one a special kid.

Kind of a broad convention.

Okay, so we're here. Now what?

I need to locate my contact.

Moxie will know how to find her.

Moxie?

Yeah, you know her?

Yeah, kind of.

I mean, it's been a while.

Could you be a dog for this?

Cute?

Cringy!

Take me right!

Hey!

We're trying to stay low-key.

Hey!

Did you find what you were

looking for in Firestone?

Never seen you before, stranger.

Nice try, Miss Bladoff Infinity.

I never forget a gun.

What are you up to now?

Not of all thunder.

Yep, she's rotten, sir.

Ha ha ha! I knew it!

Well, well, well.

Don't let the scab drag you. Hey, mom.

Get on in there.

Oh, you are most welcome.

Come on, let's save for my

little sugar plum.

And drink to my friends.

That's what I'm gonna show you.

Everyone, come over here.

Step into my office. Roll it.

Roll it. Here's me.

I knew it was you. Oh my god.

Hey Larry.

I probably don't remember you

but I sure remember you.

Your mom was a good woman. Yeah, well.

wouldn't know all right so

where is this scientist so

this is where you have

you know all the way up

those stairs right there is

the elevator

push the button passcode echo

echo sure it's safe to stay

there as long as

this one here don't blow up

the joint as a milkshake

there I should have

Listen, for whatever it's

worth, I'm real happy that

you came back home.

And I hope that you know how

much your mama loved you.

She always told me how

special you were.

No, I appreciate the help.

Rest is favorite of them.

When they were chasing you, I

was like, hey, don't shoot that guy.

He's my roomie.

She said, yeah, man.

Hey, you see your bounty went up?

You mind? You're bounty.

Get out of here.

Not to sound the war past, stud.

What'd you do to her, man?

Man, I kind of... kind of

ghosted her, you know?

Yeah, you did, man.

You ghosted all of us, man. Thank you.

Yeah.

Anyway, man, it was really

good to see you.

And, you know, you can trust me.

We're friends, man.

I'm not gonna tell a soul.

Oh, Larry, I'm not worried about you.

You're my guy.

You're my main man.

I got a feeling you're not

gonna tell anybody.

Huh, seems to be okay.

Well, I have a hell of a hangover.

Ooh, good new

electricity-provoked defecation!

Hey, y'all better hustle that back.

Go out this way. I got these guys.

Come on, let's go.

Your buddy boy here just

drank about ten shots too many

and then it dropped like a

sack of potatoes.

Ah, I think you forgot, man.

And a tip is always appreciated.

Come on.

All right, Mr. Psychia?

Echo.

Echo?

You sure that's the password?

Maybe you gotta echo the echo.

Echo!

Echo!

All right.

You fools can't leave me dead

without me, you need me!

Where are we going?

So you trust this woman?

She's a Xeno-Archaeologist, alright?

She's a little odd, but she

knows everything about the vault.

So, if she says something

weird, don't let her get to you, okay?

I am 10 to the 100th hour

impressed with this place!

I see you have the girl. That's right.

Did you find a vault key, too?

Hi, I'm Tina

Tannis Hello, Lily.

Okay. Good. So you guys know each other

Unfortunately

I'm not staying here What?

Okay.

But you all smell like

thresher urine, and your

wanted poster just went up

all over town.

So I'd suggest that you all

settle in and clean up.

Now, the electro shower is

right over there. Ooh, shower!

Hey, kids.

Lillith?

We're out of here. Let's go.

Hey, I get it.

There's history here.

I don't even know what it is.

The point is that she's right.

This poster meeting means

there's one of you.

They're looking for all of us.

I hate to say it, but we

don't have a choice.

We gotta sit tight.

Lillith, we don't have a choice.

What is happening? Tell me.

I am basing my assumption

that you're upset on your

body language receptive as

I see because of your mother

no because of you she trusted

you to take care of

me you ran back here to

chase after that mystical

Riddian vault bullshit I left

you with trades people oh yes

you mean the

murderers and thieves on the

mining ship.

It's what your mother wanted.

She wanted me to learn how

to kill by the age of 10,

how to survive.

I had to come back here to

finish her work.

She believed the Oridian Vault,

had the power to change

things for the better,

and she traded her daughter

for a waste of time.

Go back inside.

It's not safe.

I can look after myself.

Told you I'm special.

Aren't we all?

Yeah.

They made me that way. Made you?

What do you mean?

Your father is

Tekeli and Atlas, isn't he?

Yes and no.

Not a yes or no question.

He's

my creator.

Atlas is banana-pants obsessed

with the vault.

He says only a daughter of

Oridia can open it.

He found a piece of the vault key.

And on that piece was a tiny

bit of blood. Oridian blood?

It wasn't an Oridian.

And guess who that Oridian is?

Is her name Tina?

But it's all good.

I don't care. I grew up in a lab.

I never wanted a mother and father.

Created you to open a vault.

What an asshole.

That's an understatement.

He'll use whatever technology

is inside and make super weapons.

That dude's got major issues.

I'm just a product to Atlas.

If he gets me, he's going to

make me open the vault.

Then he's just going to lock

me up into another secret lab

and do more experiments.

And if you saw things I did

to the other clones, he's not

going to find you.

Hey there, Sugar Chips, you

need a firmware update?

It's a short stop.

Someone needs to know how to change.

My daddy always had a saying.

Never trust a man who can't

hold his liquor.

She tased me! I love alcohol,

I can be wild.

That's for that little girl.

You don't think the second I

saw her, I wouldn't hand a

ride over to you just to get

rid of you?

I'd mind a fight with her.

But let me take you through

what happens next. Spare parts!

You serious?

I never got spare parts that

I could use!

Uh-oh!

Hey, that's a robot! It's an old CL-40.

You're in! Come in for your

back and do your work!

It's highly contagious!

We're on a strike!

Now that we have Tina and

the first key, I want to show you this.

This is a mining journal left

behind by a corporate bureaucrat.

He catalogued everything the

miners brought in, most of it useless.

But on this page... Another key.

He thought it was a useless

piece of Oridian pottery.

He had no clue they'd found

a vault key.

That makes two of three.

So this is the second key.

Why don't you already have it?

Because the mine is in classic caverns.

Oh, shit.

Danger! Red alert!

People we need to move!

Your soldiers, they're coming!

They have not enough shooting to march!

How old is Louie Rollin'?

What is the deal with her?

The soldier woman, who really

hates Rollin',

which suggests the two of

them have some.

Come on, get to the point.

She was at the bar interrogating Moxie,

and your friend Larry, was

that his name?

Seems like a decent roommate.

Did they see you?

Do you promise not to be

angry if I say yes?

Lance units, war hall exit!

No one breathe!

Get this thing out of here! Masks off!

Of course, Commander!

Of course, hey hey!

Double purge, custom blaster

with ionizer projectiles.

That'll outpace any bone

shredder on Pandora.

You want to trade? I'll give

you a special price, huh?

Sanctuary is now on lockdown.

No one goes anywhere until we

find that robot.

Is there any way out of here

that doesn't involve garbage?

is underneath all of that

debris under there

open it would you look at

that a ladder unfortunately my

design doesn't facilitate

this type of vertical travel

the rats guess i'll just

Well, destiny awaits.

Mm, me too.

Chemical waste from the

mining equipment.

It's corrosive enough to

dissolve almost anything except

the natural crystals in this cavern.

Well, are we gonna get through this?

Well, it's not gonna be that way.

Looks like we gotta take the high road.

Craig, could you see if we

can grab this here?

I don't want to lay my

wheels in the water.

So I'll just watch you all

melt from a safe and

reasonable distance.

You are small enough to get in there.

Head through the tunnel,

locate the main access control

panel, and then unlock the

door at the end. Can do!

Quietly. No problem.

I wouldn't want

anything bad to happen to

each one of you in the most

horrified way possible.

Alright, I'll go first.

I got this.

No, I got it.

I got it.

Dino!

Hey, hey!

Relax!

I'm the lightest tonight! Ladies first.

Don't mind if I do. Be careful.

Guys!

Balloons in the strangest places.

It's kinda creepy.

Mission accomplished!

The door is unlocked!

Who's the best?

I can't take him anywhere.

Well, you're welcome. Tarsul, please.

Spring showers. Splash us.

Yeah, their symbols are everywhere.

These are the psychos all the

psychos are afraid of.

They're probably still here.

Let's go find out. No rocks.

I'll be surgical.

There's only one of you in the world.

You're special.

You guys inside wait for us

to come back. Come on.

You've dealt with bloodshots before?

What?

Time to make it out.

Kind words and hugs.

I don't know what it is that

happens to them when they're down here,

but it's like they get hit,

but the extra dose of crazy.

It's too many to shoot or

blow up we can't really blend

in we don't look

anything like them except you

handsome thank you according

to my calculations

the odds of a successful

stealth operation in this

scenario is zero

percent wow you never see

that I guess that's it then

back to the track

right did you factor in a

distraction course I analyze

16 million versions

where one of you creates a distraction.

Total failure.

No, not one of us.

Wait, who else is though?

No.

Ha ha, coming through.

Ooh, ha ha ha, hi there.

How you doing?

Ha ha ha, ha ha ha.

Ah, just a little nervous

laughter to crack the ice.

I am here because I want to

be, and not for a more

justifiable reason like trying to be

a distraction, even though it

makes no sense for me to say

what I'm about to say, and

even though anyone rational

would suspect it was just

part of a good plan, I have

I decided entirely on my own

to say the following.

Y'all bitches need to eat

your own butts with your

poopy mouth ass faces

until you die from loser

poisoning like the stupid puss

roaches that you...is.

Was that too much? It was

too much, wasn't it?

What's the good over the edge?

Was it the poopy mouth ass faces?

we survived so much for you

0% you're not out yet I

think the keys in here

sweet so the key is in one

of these crates one of these

pavilion crates yeah this is

gonna take a

minute four days if you work

around the clock which you

can't because your

require a rest every 16 hours.

Why is he here?

Not if those psycho Raiders

find us first.

Those are blood shots.

Raiders live above, not down here.

There are no Raiders down here.

Tannis, nobody's talking about Raiders.

What's the big deal about Raiders?

I know, but you brought up Raiders.

I understand.

Blood shots are down here.

You keep bringing up Raiders.

Tannis, I swear to God.

I found it.

What?

The second I found it.

I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.

You know, we'll see how lucky you are.

You still got to get out of here.

There's an exit portal this way.

Come on.

What? I'm expelling the excess lead.

You won't tell me that!

Oh, think of it, think of it!

Come on, come on, come on!

Mary!

You do not love that.

This has to happen now!

Don't judge me!

What? How is this funny?

Keep it down.

Do I trust you when you

blast down alone? Look out!

Oh

I'm sure we're past the hard part.

Look.

Hey, I'm getting it!

In front of everyone?

Yes!

Breathe, we got company.

It's time to bleed! Come on!

I am trying!

It's not working.

Aren't you supposed to be hard?

You