Original subtitles

Ah. Ow.

Having my hand burned, I can't shoot my bow,

which means that I really need to rely on fish.

Look at that guy. He's huge.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, there's two.

I am attempting to make the warmest shelter

this show's seen.

Everyone knows Rock House.

I think I can outdo it.

Wow.

The more I get into my body, the longer I last.

This will be half the pike in this pot.

Oh, my berry breakfast.

Ah.

First puke of "Alone."

I haven't used the bathroom in ten days.

This is something serious.

Oh, God.

This is one of the hardest things

I've ever done in my life.

I'm officially tapping out.

God, please help me kill this moose.

I'm not tapping out.

I'd rather die.

Here goes nothing.

Whoa!

Yes!

Holy [bleep].

This is the harshest location possible.

We're 125 miles in the Arctic Circle.

I never had an environment make me feel like

a complete amateur before.

Everything is against us out here.

Mother Nature went and bitch slapped me.

Looks like I got grizzlies and wolves as my neighbors.

Holy crap.

They're just hunting the shoreline.

Mother Nature is about to dim the lights on us.

We're heading into total darkness.

Hey, bear.

The cold and the dark is going to sap people's souls.

It really makes you wonder if it's worth it.

There is no camera crew.

There's no support system.

I'm completely alone.

Yes!

People go in one way...

Stop bleeding.

And they come out entirely different.

This is the most difficult

survival challenge in the world.

$500,000. That's completely life-changing money.

It's beautiful.

Whoever can thrive the longest...

If they out here, they ought to be afraid of me.

Whoever can push through it...

Wins.

I hope I made the right choice coming out here.

God, please help me kill this moose.

It's about 60 yards away right now.

I can't believe it.

Now I can sing and shout and chop trees all I want to.

I don't care what the noise does.

I don't care how much noise I make.

The biggest game here is down.

It's clear to me that God is with me.

Oh, my goodness.

It's a beast.

This thing's bigger than one of my horses.

There's no way I can flip this animal over, though.

I'm gonna have to skin it off the best I can.

I have to get the guts out so that they won't

make the meat spoil quicker in this warmer weather.

The leg is where it's gonna be really hard

to skin it this way.

I've never butchered a moose,

but I've butchered plenty of large animals

that I know how much work this is gonna be.

Stomach lining fat.

This is an all-consuming project.

It could take all day and all night and all the next day.

This is, like, a 60-pound liver.

And I know that I have to just buckle in for this process.

Found the arrow.

All right.

Now I've got to make sure

that I don't lose any of it.

As I'm cutting on this fresh meat,

the wind of this is carrying far and wide.

And grizzlies are gonna smell this.

I don't want to come and find a giant grizzly.

I'm gonna clear this little area and make a fire here.

And I'm gonna keep that fire going all night

to mix with the scent signature

so if grizzlies smell it,

they know that this is a moose owned by man.

And I'll also be cooking meat on that fire

while I work all night,

'cause I'm gonna burn up a lot of energy doing this.

Think I'll cut the legs off and take the top quarters off.

This nagging feeling is growing in me...

That the weather is not gonna cooperate.

That means I'm gonna have to work like a maniac

to preserve this meat.

Mmm. Yeah, that's tasting good.

I have to transport the meat.

I have to get it into a place where

I can watch over it and not let the birds land on it

and bears get it.

But I look at the sun and I know that

I won't get it done before dark.

Man, I hope this weather drops cold.

Well, I've got the top half of the moose butchered.

I'll butcher the lower half tomorrow.

Round trip is a mile

back to where I can drop it near my camp.

And then I start to calculate

how many trips is it gonna take?

I mean, I'm already tired from the day,

from killing the moose,

from butchering just over half of the moose.

It's a big job.

Big job.

I'm a target for every bear

and everything else in this whole region,

so I've got to be smart about this.

Yeah, I can carry it home.

I can carry it home.

I've covered the carcass up with the skin for the night.

There's a good chill on tonight,

and I'm debating right now

which is more dangerous in grizzly country...

to go work through the night on it,

or to...

go tackle the other half of it in the morning

in the daylight when I can see.

There's like 5,000 grizzly bears in this territory.

So I've got to build a cache that they can't get into.

So I've got a lot of work over the next couple of days.

Either way, a lot of work.

Well, one thing I've noticed

since it's been mild weather out

and I've got these, like, thick winter boots on

is, my feet are starting to suffer.

So I'm taking a piece of black carbon,

and I dust that up onto my toes,

and that keeps them nice and dry.

I'm just grinding it up into a powdery texture

and then rubbing that into my feet.

So this is like a medicated foot powder.

OK, so I have to check my traps.

I'm feeling confident in my trail.

Animals will follow the trail.

And then that makes a successful trap line.

Making a trail is like utilizing animal psychology.

They will follow the path of least resistance.

So far, I've set just rabbit snares

'cause I've just seen so much sign.

But I haven't caught anything yet.

Some fresh grass.

My plan is to expand,

to set some squirrel poles as well.

I really want to make sure that

I'm just focused on getting animals all the time.

.

Oh, [bleep].

It's so hard.

OK, now I'm gonna go look for the arrows.

Being out here, it's a lot of tough work,

and I'm feeling anxiety about everything.

I need to hunt more.

I need more fish,

and I don't really have a way to release it.

It's a hard space to be sometimes.

So out here, I'm trying to stick with

that feeling of hope that I can win.

I found it, I found it, I found it.

Yes. Ah.

I have all my arrows now, so I feel much better.

Don't lose arrows.

Determination.

Success.

Gotta finish butchering

and transporting all the meat.

Hustling to get all my meat out of the sun.

Still got a big pile of meat to haul,

so I'll be busy for quite a while.

I'm just thankful that no bears have eaten it yet.

I slept a bit last night, and I'm now finished

butchering and carrying the meat.

And my project today is all building

the food cache cold storage.

Trying to save all the meat from the hot weather

got me so ragged.

And I was just worried all night long

that a bear will find it.

If I can get through these next few days,

I'll be all right.

I'm gonna get to work.

Preserving and keeping this meat is my biggest concern.

More than bears, birds, anything else,

the enemy is weather.

It's still really cool back here on this north bank.

And I'll work on building something in the bank.

I got to keep this meat so that I can smoke it all.

Everything comes down to this.

I have to do my best to save the meat.

I'm definitely burning a ton of energy

on this project and the whole moose project.

But food security is worth it.

To preserve this meat,

it's not just saving it from the warm weather.

I have to save it from moist weather.

And if the weather is anything in this area,

it's very moist and humid.

Now that I've gotten this moose

and I have the meat,

tapping out, that's not an option.

The pressure to win now is intense,

so I better pull it off.

I'm gonna make a solid wall.

I need a bunch more of those.

Food cache is coming along.

I'm praying for colder weather, quick.

Such a huge blessing can also be a curse

if the timing isn't right.

But everything for me this season

could come down to this.

There's no option on Earth of wasting this meat.

Hopefully this will be grizzly-proof.

Now, I'm gonna put stakes out here

and then fix it all together.

It'll be a 7- or 8-inch-thick front wall.

I'm not quite finished

with the outside to make it bear-proof.

Almost.

But I'm gonna go ahead and put the meat in.

I'm gonna line the inside with these bows,

put a grate of sticks down,

'cause I want some airflow to it.

I don't want to seal it off 'cause then it will go bad.

This is life here for the winter.

I've got to protect it.

All right, guys.

Fort Moose Meat is done.

It's staked down well back here.

And the bear is gonna tear at it here

and he'll be able to put no leverage back there,

and he won't think to go back there and undo that.

So the locking log lifts off...

Like this,

And I get the lid off...

and get the meat.

I think it should be enough, but we'll see.

What a nightmare it's been.

Four days ago, I sat down on a rock,

and there was this really sharp protrusion from the rock.

When I sat down on it,

that thing hit me right on the tailbone

and snapped my tailbone.

So I've been...

I've been gimping around out here.

I'm not worried about it. It'll get better.

It's just one more thing, you know?

But anyway,

let's go check the net.

The first few days it slowed me down a bit,

but not anymore.

I'm doing fine.

But I need to get a real big win for me at some point.

Oh, I see something.

I see a fish for... I see two fish for me.

That's the spot.

I guess that was the whole deal,

'cause I played around all over this bank.

That's just awesome.

Oh, man.

That one's just barely hanging on there.

Better be careful.

Oh, my gosh. Look at how fat he is.

Oh, my gosh. He's huge.

Huge.

Oh, and he's got...

He's got a lingcod in his mouth or something.

Oh, my gosh. Look at this.

I scored big time on these.

This is just amazing.

All right, let's see what's in your mouth, buddy.

That looks like a burbot.

I think the burbot was caught in the net,

and the pike came after the burbot.

All right, man. You're dead.

You might as well let go.

Can I dump him out?

Look at this.

Oh, my gosh. What a score.

What a freaking score, man.

All right.

It's been kind of a rough start for me.

But when I lost my fishing line,

rather than breaking all over the country

trying to kill squirrels and burning more calories

than what a squirrel would provide...

I chose to teach myself how to make a gillnet.

This is a turning point for me.

Everything is going to be different now.

That's two huge pike

and some of my favorite fish in the world, which is cod.

If I had some potatoes, I'd be having fish and chips tonight.

I'm feeling pretty good about this.

I finally found some methods that are working.

That is incredible.

Good enough for the chimney.

All right, we're back on the shelter train...

'cause last night was cold.

So cold.

It was by far the coldest night we've had.

And it kind of got me spooked.

I want to make sure this is good as I can get it

and the insulation is all in.

I came out here knowing

I wanted to get a solid shelter

and begin preparing for winter.

OK. We got a layer of horsetail.

Crossed it.

Staging myself for a long-term situation is a priority.

It's just mud and grass mixed together.

Yeah, big game, if you get it,

then you got a real good shot at winning.

But I'll tell you what, it's a full-time job to process it,

to smoke it, to keep it all safe from animals.

I mean, I want that steak really badly,

but it's almost irresponsible

to take an animal in this kind of weather.

Whereas if I wait for it to get cold,

I can slowly make the cache, and when I get an animal,

I can just pop it up there, and I'll be ready.

Willow branches

working beautifully.

I've put spruce bows across the whole top

of the shelter for insulation.

On top of that, I have about 5 inches of horsetail.

My new shelter may be small, but it's strong,

and it's gonna be warmer inside.

Let's tuck this down.

The only thing that can make you

a stronger outdoors man

and survivalist is to be able to push through

tough situations and learn from them.

We got this damn thing insulated.

Beautiful mud daub fireplace.

We just need a front door and some final touches.

But if winter came tomorrow, we would be fine.

This shelter

is fortified

for the Arctic winter.

Man, I think we got this situation handled.

All right, this one goes out

to my nieces and nephews,

who were curious.

They'd say Chow Chow, which is what they call me.

They call me Uncle Chow Chow.

They're curious how I'm gonna brush my teeth out here.

So this is how.

You can either just go at it

with just your spit, some water,

or you can, uh...

you can just use a simple piece of charcoal.

Throw it in there.

Oh, yeah.

Not too shabby.

All right.

Let's work on a fireplace.

I think we're in for a winner like this show's never seen.

And so I'm gonna keep working on my shelter

as my main priority to keep myself warm,

to keep myself dry, and to keep myself safe.

Oh, man.

I'm gonna call this the bunker.

This is gonna have so many layers,

and it's gonna have the best fireplace.

I've just got to be able to do it

without killing myself

and burning too much calories,

but I think I can knock it out.

So I'm gonna throw some of these stakes in the ground.

And as I build these rocks up,

I'll have dirt behind them to fill in and keep all the sparks

and make it a little more solid.

So now, rocks.

I'm no stonemason, obviously.

After college, I did a lot of great jobs,

a lot of different jobs.

I joined the West Virginia Air National Guard.

And that's one of the best decisions I ever made,

getting to serve my country.

One leg up I might have on some of my competitors

is my military experience.

That made me really good at one thing in particular,

and military members would know this.

I know how to just shut up and color.

A lot of hurry up and wait,

but sometimes you just got to get something done.

And we call that shut up and color.

That's what I'm doing.

That one go about right there.

It's perfect.

So today, I got quite a bit done.

I didn't eat today. Um...

just didn't really feel like it.

I'll be fine.

I'm just gonna go to bed.

And to me, it sounded like they're really close,

but yeah, I don't...

I don't really know how to tell out here,

as far as how far sound travels.

Wolves scare me.

Got to get the shelter done.

'Cause I don't want to get my face eaten off.

Last night was the roughest night so far.

Those...

those wolves would just not let up.

Luckily, nothing came up against the...

shelter last night.

At least, I don't think anything did.

That's all the more reason to get that shelter

finished as fast as possible.

I gotta get to work.

I need to get out of the temporary shelter.

I need to be as safe as I can from any kind of predators.

And it's just gonna get colder and colder and colder,

so I'm gonna push and do as much in one day as I can.

Around about right there.

Like so.

It's gonna go about right here

and drop straight down.

That should make 16 feet.

Psh, psh, psh, psh.

Basically what I'm doing is

I'm cutting out these corners of the ceiling.

I'm taking away some of my space.

That way, I have less to heat up.

I think in the long run,

that's gonna be a pretty big calorie-saver.

Let's go shopping for some poles.

I know that there might be, like, the question of

why am I not going harder after fish and after game?

I'm trying to set myself up long-term.

When it comes to the cold, like,

you're burning calories to try to keep yourself warm.

And so I'm doing smaller

so that I can actually move into it

and then I can just keep adding walls to the inside

to provide more insulation as it gets colder.

I think in the long run, digging in,

framing up is the way to go.

And once everything's together,

we'll just tie these at the top.

It's a solid wall.

When I'm done, this place is gonna be bomb-proof.

I gotta be careful standing up so quick.

It's easy to forget how much I haven't eaten.

Raining a little.

All right. We need my tarp.

Oh.

Yes. Oh, yes. Oh!

New shelter. New shelter.

I can stand up.

Oh, I'm so excited.

This tree has a little bird's nest in it.

That's cool.

I wonder if this would be good for starting a fire.

Probably. A literal bird's nest.

Usually when you make a fire,

you take a whole bunch of really dry material,

and you shape it into a ball with a little crevice

in the center, and you call it a bird's nest.

And here, I literally have a bird's nest.

That's really cool.

So there's moose around here, 'cause there's moose hairs

in this bird's nest.

Save that for a cold day.

OK. We continue the shelter.

So I would like to cut all the poles for this side.

About...

I love my shelter. It's a great shelter.

It's a simple A-frame attached to a big tree, so it's strong.

One side is facing north,

so that's where the main winds are gonna come.

I'm gonna leave all the trees there to be a wind block.

And then the other side is facing south.

And I'm thinking that maybe I can capture

some radiant heat from the sun

and then all the spruce boughs is insulation.

It is small,

but I'm willing to sacrifice a little bit of comfort

so that I'm staying warm and safe.

♪ I need another tree ♪

I grew up out in the trap line, being homeschooled.

And I always thought my world was so small.

All I wanted to do was just go to the real world.

That's what I called it.

So I went to university.

And when I got to the city,

I wanted to experience everything all at once.

So I was going to all the parties,

I was in all the sports.

I tried it all out, from the good to the bad.

But I was trying to fit in some other box

that was not me at all.

And then one day,

I had a complete mental breakdown.

And I was hospitalized.

And my mom came rushing to the city

and she's like, "You need to come home."

And the first thing that really healed me

when I got home was the quietness.

There was no traffic. There was no machines.

There was just nature,

and I could just really be safe.

Oh, my God.

It's a marten hunting rabbit.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, my God.

What?

This place is wild, man.

Oh, man.

Look at that.

Fresh rabbit.

I guess I'm skinning some rabbit.

After my college experience,

the land healed and gave me a new education.

It's like I found purpose again.

Now, rabbit skin is very fragile.

So if you want it to be intact,

you kind of have to be gentle.

The Cree philosophy of teaching is kinisitohten.

That's the Cree word for "Do you understand?"

And that's something that

my dad has asked me throughout my life.

"Kinisitohten?"

It's not a written language,

so the way that Cree people teach is by showing.

And my dad isn't really, like, explaining things beforehand.

I would just have to start helping him out

and copying his actions and figuring it out on the go.

And then eventually, it becomes part of your body

because you've been doing it with your own hands.

Inspect the liver.

So now, I'm just gonna start slicing.

And then when you can say "ninistohten,"

which means "I understand,"

that means you can actually teach someone else.

And now I'm showing other people

my knowledge, what I'm doing.

Whoo. That's amazing.

All right. Here it is, my rabbit.

Oh, my gosh. It's so good.

Wow.

Thank you for this gift of rabbit.

Normally, I don't like rabbit that much.

But I must be out here a long time,

because this is delicious.

That is so good.

I keep seeing fish hitting on this point right here.

So I got this whitefish. We're gonna try that as bait.

Try here.

A school of whitefish in front of me.

Whitefish, how do you feel about

a little bit of cannibalism?

How's that sound?

They're not into that, apparently.

I'm about ready to indulge in a little cannibalism.

About ready to creep into the next "Alone" survivalist area

and...

cut myself a femur to chew on.

Just kidding, of course.

Just kidding.

But I'm not kidding about these whitefish

needing to become cannibalistic.

'Cause this morning,

they were going bananas all along the edge.

Now that the sun's out and bright,

they moved out a bit.

Nature's gonna be throwing curve balls left and right

every day,

but I'm ready.

There's a lot of subtle cues in nature

that a lot of people might not pick up on,

but you spend enough time out there,

and you can read everything sort of like a book.

You just got to know what to look for.

Dude, come on back.

Pike's right at my feet.

Ooh.

Ah. I lost him.

Dude.

That was insane, man.

Damn it, fish.

You're killing me.

We gotta go fish that river.

It's worth taking the time at our money spot.

He stared right at me,

came up out of the grass that I had it packed in.

There's a freaking mink

eating my meat in my meat cache.

I better get leather gloves in case

I have to grab him.

Mink can bite like the devil.

I'm going to scare it away.

It's in my meat cache right now.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Freaking mink.

There you go. Good. Get out of here, you.

Yeah, mink tracks for sure.

He's run here two days in a row.

I know he'll be back, plus probably others.

Yeah, he chewed up the heart really good.

Look.

That's the moose heart,

and he's eaten the whole bottom end of it off.

So I have a problem now.

Any little thing that gets in there

is going for the fat first, so I'm gonna...

I'm gonna start rendering this fat,

because the fat is the most precious commodity out here.

It's hard to build something out here

that would be mink-proof.

And pine martens are the same way, same size.

They can get through that stuff.

That's a big problem.

I've got to do something about that meat.

I know one thing.

I've got to start making some containers

and rendering the fat,

'cause the fat is the first thing everything goes for.

And the fat is what I need the most.

So I'm gonna start cooking it down a bit each day

as fast as I can cook it through this pot.

I don't know how else to keep it away from everything.

I have to save the fat.

Starting to render this down pot by pot.

It's sealing.

Yeah.

This birch bark lard canister.

And I'll make more of these and just

fill them with rendered lard.

All right.

I should be moving into my shelter,

but it's big enough, I think, to smoke a whole moose,

so I'm staying in a tarp.

This is just one of many, many huge hunks of meat.

What I'm gonna do is just strip it pretty thin

and get it on a bunch of skewers like this

and hang it in racks inside the smoker.

This is good. Putting up food in the fall.

Food for winter.

Some of my best childhood memories

are putting up food in the fall with my family.

I'm one of 11 kids.

We grew everything we ate;

green beans, apple sauce, tomatoes, venison...

to keep it any way we could.

We didn't have a refrigerator, you see,

we had no electricity.

Fresh stuff is just so delicious.

I'm torn about smoking this much meat right in my camp.

There's decent-sized bear tracks that I've seen

three times now close to my camp.

But I don't have the luxury of choosing another option,

so I'm just going forward.

The silence out here and the isolation

has really brought me to a point of thinking

about other situations in my life,

doubts that start pouring into my mind.

It's all very dirty

because that mink wallowed in it.

Not real proud of my butchering right now

because I'm in a rush.

All it is is just functional and adequate at the moment.

Nothing beautiful.

When I was a kid,

my parents viewed society as becoming really godless

and wanted to protect their children from that.

But at the time, what I got instead

was the message that God hated everybody.

I remember living every day thinking

that I wasn't worthy of, you know,

the food that I was eating.

Like, I could never deserve to exist.

And I thought you could compensate for that feeling

by hard work.

It's time to get this thing done.

Look at all this meat.

Rows and rows and rows

and rows and rows of it all the way back.

I'm just about to fire it up.

The smell of fresh meat coming from there

is almost overwhelming.

And I've never had such an urge to just eat it just like it is.

Controlling the airflow to the fire

is what's gonna make it smolder and smoke

and not just burn and cook the meat.

So yeah, I think it's gonna work.

As a child, trying to be worthy of living

made me basically suicidal through my teenage years.

And even afterwards as an adult,

I remember it just becoming such a reality for me

that I could not be enough for God or for people.

But now, somehow, out here with nature,

I'm starting to find a peace and balance with God

about my story somehow.

Hoo.

This is a pot of total goodness.

God's bounty.

So I'm gonna sit here and eat my fill.

If I'm a tough person,

it's because of my dad diligently teaching that.

I love him for that.

That's because of my mother, the person who she was

raising 11 kids and schooling them all.

I love her for that.

And out here, I'm actually feeling

just incredible joy in my soul

that I exist, that I live.

I smell cooler weather on the wind.

And I thank God for it.

Welcome, man.

Welcome to "Alone's" first freaking rave.

I think this smoke's starting to make

my head go a little bit wrong.

What is wrong with my head?

I'm not thinking nearly as clearly as I'd normally do.

Ugh.

Let's go fishing.

Because Dub is hungry.

Couple more days of no food,

and I will probably fall into a downward spiral.

Today has got to be a good one.

I need to start focusing on food again.

There's my pike club right there.

I'm gonna make a bush craft...

situation here.

So this is gonna make it so that when a pike hits,

this rig that I'm making

is gonna set the hook automatically on the pike.

So this is gonna be...

pretty much what you call an L7 trigger.

So it's two triggers that sit together like that.

So when this trigger,

the top trigger, gets pulled off, boom.

This stick...

that I'm carving right here...

is gonna get jammed into the ground.

And then I'm gonna get a nice, super spring-loaded tree,

and I can set the hook on the fish.

Probably from about age seven or eight,

I decided I wanted to be a pro fisherman,

so I bought a bass boat

and won a bunch of bass tournaments.

Turns out gas for bass boats is really expensive.

There was a time I had just enough gas in my boat

and my truck to make it to the tournament.

But in the back of my truck was a trash bag

filled with pop cans.

And in Michigan, they have a 10¢ refund on cans.

"I'm like, " If I don't win it,

"I'm gonna have to turn these pop cans in

and get, like, four bucks and maybe get home."

So I risked all my money that I had to pay the entry fee.

That's actually really easy.

So I'm just tying them.

Overhand loop.

Now, I want to tie it right around the area

where this trigger is.

So I go there, win the bass tournament.

I win, like, 5 grand.

And fortunately, I didn't have to use my pop cans.

That's how poor I am and how much I love fishing.

So we want one more loop.

Probably right about there.

And they fit on each other.

So when something pulls even pretty lightly right there...

it's gonna pull this trigger off that,

and this rod's gonna spring like crazy.

Something's happening on this one.

Something just hit.

That's definitely got it.

I'm gonna give it a little line.

Hmm.

Hook set right there, boy.

He's coming.

Good size.

It's a really good size.

Hell yeah, little pike.

Yeah.

Yes! Dude.

Put them up on these pine boughs.

Oh, hell.

I weakened ya.

And what I'm gonna do is

cast this one back out...

and let it fish while I clean that pike.

There's gonna be a time frame where

the river starts to freeze and I can't ice fish.

Can't walk on the ice till it's at least 4 inches.

So I'm gonna be snaring.

I'm gonna do hunting and trapping, everything.

Fishing will not get you all the way,

no matter how good you are at it.

So I want to try to bring this one in

without triggering it

and put a fresh piece of bait on there.

And right then... look at that.

Right then, something's grabbing that.

Look at that.

That line's moving right now.

That's game on.

Holy crap. Are you kidding me?

Boom!

Got him.

Coming right at me.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Get in here, bro. Mm, mm.

Yeah!

Thank you, spring pole.

He wasn't coming off that big hook.

Oh, my goodness.

That is so amazing, dude.

Rod demonstration, done.

And I could not be any freaking happier.

'Cause it's freaking lunch time!

I love nature more than anything.

Nature is honest.

People, in general, are not honest.

But fish aren't gonna lie to you.

The grizzly bear is not gonna lie to you.

Grizzly bear is just gonna kill you.

It's not hiding that fact.

So I strongly believe that

you're never gonna beat nature.

But when nature throws you a tidal wave,

you build a bush craft surfboard and ride it out.

I'm so happy we got that spring pole.

Yes.

I'm gonna go get some more water.

Look at that.

It's a happy family of swans.

That's what I want.

I want to start a family.

I really want my future kids to see the possibilities

of a life living close to the land.

And I hope that I inspire them to follow in my footsteps

like I'm following my parents' footsteps.

Got some water.

Boil it and then get back to work.

I thought this would be a really good spot

to set up a squirrel pole.

Because there is a very active squirrel here.

I feel so alone.

I feel really alone, and it's really hard for me.

It's hard for my mentality.

I just... I came into this game so mentally strong.

I thought I was so strong.

And then I came out here

and I just feel like my brain is struggling.

It's mentally really tough out here.

I don't like it.

I feel like I'm going back and forth

between feeling great success here

and then feeling anxiety,

almost a sense of depression coming in

because I feel so disconnected.

I live in an isolated place, far away from people

and I've spent a lot of time alone.

But this feels different somehow.

It's really isolated here.

I've chosen this path, but this extreme sense

of being taken away from my family and my culture

and placed in this environment that I'm unfamiliar with

is really instilling in me

that feeling of what it might be like

to be taken away to a residential school.

I didn't think that these feelings

would come up out here.

I thought this was in my past.

I mean, one place that I feel most healthy

is when I'm in nature.

But for some reason, there is a huge piece of me missing.

Oh, I just wanted to be out here.

At the same time, I feel,

as an Indigenous woman,

I need to keep staying here,

that I need to keep pushing myself.

It [bleep] sucks.

And everything is fine. Everything's good.

My shelter is getting warmer.

I have food.

I'll just keep going.

Come on. Just one more day.

Just one more day.

You know...

the more time I spend here,

the more I want to be with someone that is from here,

the Gwich'in and Aleut.

I want them to show me how much they love this land,

what they know about this land.

I came here with skills enough to feed me,

to shelter me, to keep me alive and thriving.

This is an amazing experience for me.

But I wish I was with someone.

I just want to get through the isolation.

So I want to go check the fishnet.

Look at that.

.

It just didn't feel right, keeping that fish.

I need to honor it.

I need to eat it with joy.

Ugh.

18 days.

I got this far.

I got this far.

Oh, what the heck?

I don't want to go to that place again.

I don't want to have another mental breakdown

that I can't come back from that takes me years and years.

It's a delicate balance

and you really got to be careful.

This is a nice place.

It'll always be in my memories.

It's time to call in.

Hi, this is Michela. I'm officially tapping out.

I just couldn't deal with the social isolation aspect of it.

I needed to be connected again to people,

to my family, to my home.

It's been a really beautiful time here.

I've had so many blessings.

And this competition has made me understand that

I am the Saskatchewan River Delta,

I am my home, I am my family,

and I really feel that in my heart now.

It's really disappointing to have to go home so early,

but this experience has taught me

something even deeper than I've ever known before.

Finally, I can say "ninistohten"

because now, I understand completely

how being Indigenous is more than just living off the land.

We need community. We need connection.

And I'm feeling a really strong calling

to go home with a new sense of how to share

what I know about Cree culture.

I need to take people out into nature,

onto the canoe trips,

and we can just connect deeply to each other.

I came here to take care of my family.

But now, I realize that there's no way to separate us.

We're stronger together.

So I feel like I am going home with a prize.

They're doing med check sometime today.

I must be getting sick.

Kind of nervous.

How thorough is the med check?

My stomach is feeling really lean.

I'm actually worried about this med check.

OK, that's sore.

I've thought about whether or not I should just

grit my teeth and fake it through this check.

We need to officially extract you for medical reasons.