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"Will & Grace" is recorded
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00:00:02,860 --> 00:00:05,360
a live studio audience.
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00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,120
Hey, uh,
4
00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:09,390
I've got something
I need to tell you guys
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,860
about the wedding.
6
00:00:11,730 --> 00:00:13,360
Oh, boy.
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00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:16,130
I think you should
all be seated.
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00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,570
At my wedding!
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00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:19,770
What!
Whoo!
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00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:22,710
Okay, I just finished
the chart.
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00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:24,810
Karen and Grace, you'll be
up front with your plus ones,
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00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:28,110
Noah and Malcolm,
and Will--ooh.
13
00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:32,280
This is a little Awkwafina.
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00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,720
You're way back at the, uh...
15
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,720
singles table.
[laughs]
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00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,730
I fully intend to bring
someone to your wedding.
17
00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:43,660
You do?
Who?
18
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:46,460
- I might find somebody.
- [chuckles]
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00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:49,270
I love that you think that.
20
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,770
Okay, girls and girls,
I gotta get out of here.
21
00:00:52,770 --> 00:00:55,170
I got an election
to illegally ri--
22
00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:57,470
whoops, almost said it
out loud.
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00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:01,780
I'm gonna go call
some designers
24
00:01:01,780 --> 00:01:03,280
and drum up votes.
25
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,580
Once again,
I find myself
26
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:06,780
begging gay men to love me.
27
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,420
So you came all the way
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00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:12,490
down here just to rub it
in my face
29
00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,260
that I'm at the singles table?
30
00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,660
Nobody's rubbing anything
in your face,
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00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,500
which is why
you're at the singles table.
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00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,260
You're loving this,
aren't you?
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00:01:20,270 --> 00:01:22,770
You get married,
me not having anybody.
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00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,300
Absolutely not.
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00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,640
I take no joy in letting
you know you're sitting
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00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,110
[lightly]
at the singles table.
37
00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:31,480
You can't even say it
without smiling.
38
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,210
Of course I can.
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00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:36,180
You
[singsongy] uh...
40
00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:46,220
Are at...
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00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:51,700
[laughing] Singles table.
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[upbeat trumpetand piano music]
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00:01:54,700 --> 00:02:01,840
♪ ♪
44
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,240
Will, our building
is on the news.
45
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,650
[news theme plays]
What?
46
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,250
Wow, that is our building.
47
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Bird lovers are talkingabout this nest
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00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,890
on the Upper West Sidewhere an extremely rare
49
00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:17,890
red-tailed hawk awaitsthe arrival of her chicks.
50
00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:20,390
With temperatures dropping,it's imperative
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00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,760
that those eggsare always kept warm.
52
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,360
That's why mama bird must siton those eggs at all times.
53
00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:28,870
Otherwise they may not hatchat all.
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00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:30,530
Thank you, Angela.
55
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:33,440
And finally it's timefor "The Real McCoy."
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00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,510
That's McCoy Whitman.
You went out with him.
57
00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:38,340
Yeah, once, but he's just
into meaningless hookups
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00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:40,880
with hot, superficial
dumb-dumbs.
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00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,750
So he's a guy.
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00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,850
♪ ♪
61
00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:46,350
And that's when I realized
62
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,590
I've been wrong
all these years.
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00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:51,390
This is actually my best side.
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00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,530
That's why I go, "It's time
for 'The Real McCoy.'"
65
00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:57,360
See--what was
the question again?
66
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,200
If you have any brothers
or sisters?
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00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,630
Yeah, one brother.
68
00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:03,700
Also a newscaster.
Smaller market.
69
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,470
Is he jealous?
I'd rather not say.
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00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:08,910
He is.
Okay. [coughs]
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00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:10,710
McCoy.
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00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,440
I like you.
I like you too.
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00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,710
So you don't have to do this.
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00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:16,710
- Do what?
- Impress me.
75
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,450
Convince how successful
and attractive you are.
76
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,550
Can't we get past
the surface stuff?
77
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:26,560
I wanna know
the real Real McCoy.
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00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,590
Wow.
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00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:30,890
Nobody ever wants to know
what's on the inside.
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00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,460
Well, I do.
That stuff matters.
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00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:34,660
Okay.
82
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:37,470
Well, it hasn't been easy
for me.
83
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:39,940
Here, let me show you a picture
of me in high school.
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00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:41,740
Maybe you'll see
where I'm coming from.
85
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,270
Oh, I get it.
86
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,240
We all had
those awkward teen years.
87
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,510
I had zits and braces and--
88
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:51,100
Holy scoliosis!
You were gorgeous!
89
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,420
Exactly.
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00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,850
I've always been
this good looking.
91
00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:00,460
You'd have called me
the wrong name in high school,
92
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,490
and I would have let you.
93
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,630
And this has been rough
for you how?
94
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:09,630
Because this is
all people see me as.
95
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,540
They don't want to hear
about who I am or what I feel.
96
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:14,540
But you do.
97
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:17,310
I knew there was something
special about you.
98
00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:18,980
That's why I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
99
00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,780
And then we're doing
a story about that hawk,
100
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:23,680
and it's on your building.
It was like fate.
101
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,650
I knew that I needed
to see you again
102
00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:28,990
[crying] because you see me.
103
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,730
[sobbing] You really see me.
104
00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:43,970
[weeping] Thank you.
105
00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,800
Okay, okay.
106
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,640
[blows through nose loudly]
107
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,310
[sniffles]
108
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:56,680
Okay, is this what
you're looking for?
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00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,520
Sure, but--[clears throat]
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00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,980
[sighs] I'm sorry.
I need a minute.
111
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:04,720
[breathing heavily] Oh.
112
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,520
Whoo.
113
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,360
You've peeled back
the first layer.
114
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,400
I can't wait to show you
the others.
115
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,530
♪ ♪
116
00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:17,530
[elevator dings]
117
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,100
- Hello, Grace.
- [high-pitched scream]
118
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,500
Val, I didn't see you
119
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,980
squeezed in the corner
back there.
120
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,650
Why soumpy?
121
00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:35,750
No reason.
122
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:40,760
Just things you've said, done,
stolen from my garbage.
123
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,660
Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
124
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,830
Well, it turns out
my "erratic behavior"
125
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:47,900
and "violent tendencies"
were caused
126
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,700
by a Vitamin B deficiency.
127
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,570
I'm way better now.
128
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,340
Were you given that diagnosis
129
00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:59,100
from a "real doctor"?
130
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,910
Or from "your cat"?
131
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,800
Cats can't be doctors,
only nurses.
132
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,420
Besides, that's the old Val.
133
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:13,520
The new Val just wants
to be friends.
134
00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:15,600
Oh, by the way,
good luck in the election.
135
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,600
How do you know about that?
136
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,460
Well, years ago when I could
only self-soothe
137
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,530
by pretending to be you,
138
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:22,700
I became a designer
139
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:26,870
and joined the Guild.
Again, old Val.
140
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:29,870
- So you're a voting member.
- Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
141
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,140
- Can I count on your vote?
- No, I'm still undecided.
142
00:06:34,150 --> 00:06:35,710
New Val really likes
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00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,150
to think things through.
[elevator ding]
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00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:40,450
♪ ♪
145
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,710
[upbeat jazzy music]
146
00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:48,740
Val is a voting member?
147
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:51,550
This is a disaster.
148
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:54,500
Would it have killed you
to be nice to her?
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00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,550
Maybe.
150
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,900
I think she wanted to make me
into a Slim Jim.
151
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:00,860
Damn it, Grace.
152
00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:03,597
Don't you know
what's at stake here?
153
00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:05,607
This is the Presidency
154
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:10,777
of the people who tell people
where to hang wallpaper!
155
00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:12,147
[taps clipboard]
156
00:07:13,947 --> 00:07:15,747
So what are we supposed
to do?
157
00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:19,147
"We" aren't supposed
to do anything.
158
00:07:19,157 --> 00:07:21,987
Mama will take care of this.
159
00:07:23,757 --> 00:07:25,927
So what, you'll talk to her?
160
00:07:25,927 --> 00:07:28,757
[laughs]
Oh, I'll talk to her.
161
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,767
Nothing shady or underhanded.
162
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,967
Nothing shady.
[clicks tongue twice]
163
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:34,837
Or underhanded.
164
00:07:34,837 --> 00:07:36,297
Or...
165
00:07:36,307 --> 00:07:38,407
[clicks tongue twice]
166
00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:41,337
Underhanded.
167
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,177
Oh, God, this is so hard.
168
00:07:43,177 --> 00:07:45,777
I want to win so much,
but at what cost?
169
00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:49,170
Oh, get it together, Grace!
170
00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:53,147
We're so close
171
00:07:53,157 --> 00:07:55,317
I can smell victory!
172
00:07:55,317 --> 00:07:57,427
Fine. Do what you have to do.
173
00:07:57,427 --> 00:07:59,187
But I don't want
to know about it.
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00:07:59,197 --> 00:08:03,157
♪ ♪
175
00:08:04,427 --> 00:08:06,197
Hey, um,
176
00:08:06,197 --> 00:08:08,967
I felt really bad
about how I acted yesterday,
177
00:08:08,967 --> 00:08:10,967
so I wanted to bring you
178
00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:13,707
your wedding invitation
in person.
179
00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:17,137
[mumbles]
180
00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:18,647
Thank you.
181
00:08:18,647 --> 00:08:21,477
"Will Truman plus zero."
182
00:08:26,657 --> 00:08:28,317
You had this printed?
183
00:08:28,317 --> 00:08:31,287
[unevenly] It does not
make me happy, Will.
184
00:08:31,287 --> 00:08:34,570
And, hey, there's nothing wrong
with the singles table.
185
00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:36,127
And you'll be the oldest one.
186
00:08:37,727 --> 00:08:39,467
You can be their leader.
Yay!
187
00:08:41,797 --> 00:08:44,907
You know what?
I'm not gonna be at that table.
188
00:08:44,907 --> 00:08:46,807
I will be inviting
the hottest guy
189
00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:48,477
in New York to be my plus one.
190
00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:50,977
Ugh.
Of course you are.
191
00:08:50,977 --> 00:08:52,307
Oh, I've seen this movie.
192
00:08:52,317 --> 00:08:53,247
On the day of the wedding,
193
00:08:53,247 --> 00:08:55,347
he'll suddenly be called
back to Canada.
194
00:08:55,347 --> 00:08:58,187
[guffawing]
195
00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:01,717
[coughing]
196
00:09:01,717 --> 00:09:03,687
It's McCoy Whitman!
197
00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:05,857
- Hi, Jack.
- Yeah, yeah, we're on a date.
198
00:09:05,857 --> 00:09:07,857
But before you go, uh,
199
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:11,270
McCoy, short notice, but Jack's
getting married soon,
200
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:13,970
and I wondered
if you wanted to go with me.
201
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,167
Yeah, I would love to.
202
00:09:19,237 --> 00:09:22,107
But you don't know
when it is!
203
00:09:22,107 --> 00:09:23,707
It could be very inconvenient
for you.
204
00:09:23,707 --> 00:09:28,170
- I can make it work.
- Put me down for a plus one.
205
00:09:32,957 --> 00:09:34,787
How nice.
206
00:09:34,787 --> 00:09:37,357
I guess I'll just put you
at the celebrity table
207
00:09:37,357 --> 00:09:40,787
with J.Lo, Cher,
and "Teen Wolf" 's Tyler Posey.
208
00:09:42,727 --> 00:09:44,767
Jack, it's your wedding.
209
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:48,370
It's not like everybody's gonna
be looking at my hot plus one
210
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:52,437
and not the sweaty groom
with anxiety farts.
211
00:09:53,807 --> 00:09:55,407
You're loving this,
aren't you?
212
00:09:55,407 --> 00:09:56,977
No.
213
00:09:56,977 --> 00:10:00,107
Not at all.
[laughs]
214
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:06,147
You don't really have to go--
[sobbing]
215
00:10:07,287 --> 00:10:09,757
Okay, McCoy, broadcast face.
216
00:10:09,757 --> 00:10:12,327
[breathes deeply]
217
00:10:13,557 --> 00:10:16,970
First you open my heart,
218
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:19,127
and then you invite me
to your best friend's wedding.
219
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:22,237
This is a huge step for us.
220
00:10:22,237 --> 00:10:24,307
For us?
You know, McCoy, I think
221
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:26,437
we should just--
Let's go to bed, Will.
222
00:10:26,437 --> 00:10:28,770
[scoffs]
223
00:10:29,247 --> 00:10:30,407
Okay.
224
00:10:30,407 --> 00:10:35,917
♪ ♪
225
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,170
[voicemail beeps]
226
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,870
Hey, McCoy.
Sorry I missed you.
227
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,170
I just wanted to say
thanks for the flowers
228
00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,987
and the champagne
229
00:10:42,987 --> 00:10:44,827
and the fun socks.
230
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:47,527
I, uh--I assume
the little stick figure men
231
00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:50,527
holding hands are us.
232
00:10:50,527 --> 00:10:53,367
It's all--it's a little much
for me.
233
00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:55,137
And--
[knocking at door]
234
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,467
Uh, just call me.
235
00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:59,937
Okay?
We need to talk.
236
00:11:01,207 --> 00:11:02,307
Hey.
237
00:11:02,307 --> 00:11:03,837
I was just leaving you
a message.
238
00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:04,977
I know.
239
00:11:04,977 --> 00:11:06,177
I didn't pick up because I knew
240
00:11:06,177 --> 00:11:07,207
I was gonna see you
in a second,
241
00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:09,847
and then I get to hear
your voice again later.
242
00:11:09,847 --> 00:11:12,170
Aw, that's scary.
243
00:11:13,487 --> 00:11:15,987
[laughing] You're so funny.
244
00:11:15,987 --> 00:11:19,827
And smart and handsome
and kind.
245
00:11:19,827 --> 00:11:22,497
How did I get so lucky?
Not always so nice.
246
00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,157
Look, the message
I was leaving--
247
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,997
No, stop.
Look, I'm new to this.
248
00:11:25,997 --> 00:11:27,467
And maybe this is wrong,
249
00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:29,967
but I am feeling
so much right now.
250
00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:32,337
I just need to say these words
out loud before I burst.
251
00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:33,907
I think I need to say
my thing first.
252
00:11:33,907 --> 00:11:36,477
No, Will, I have never said
these three words
253
00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:38,247
to any man before in my life.
Then don't.
254
00:11:38,247 --> 00:11:39,247
- I...
- Please.
255
00:11:39,247 --> 00:11:40,107
- Love...
- Please don't.
256
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,170
- You...
- There it is, there it is.
257
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:44,417
I love you, Will Truman.
258
00:11:46,157 --> 00:11:47,870
Again, new to this.
259
00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:48,987
Does the other person
always take this long
260
00:11:48,987 --> 00:11:50,657
to respond?
261
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:54,910
[jazzy music]
262
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,573
[knocking at door]
263
00:11:56,732 --> 00:11:58,732
Hello, Grace.
It's me, Val.
264
00:11:58,732 --> 00:12:02,832
I wasn't sure you'd recognize
me in my fancy clothes.
265
00:12:02,832 --> 00:12:04,802
No, I'm just kidding.
I knew you'd recognize me.
266
00:12:04,802 --> 00:12:07,442
Wow.
Val, you look amazing.
267
00:12:07,442 --> 00:12:11,812
So, um, did Karen talk to you,
by any chance?
268
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:14,212
Yes, she did,
and thank you for telling her
269
00:12:14,212 --> 00:12:17,552
to buy me these things
so that I would vote for you.
270
00:12:17,552 --> 00:12:19,522
Oh, I didn't tell her
to do that.
271
00:12:19,522 --> 00:12:21,822
Oh, when you're lying,
you have to go like this--
272
00:12:21,822 --> 00:12:23,822
[clicks tongue twice]
at the end.
273
00:12:23,822 --> 00:12:26,122
- Yeah, but I'm not lying.
- No, like this--
274
00:12:26,122 --> 00:12:29,162
"I'm not lying."
[clicks tongue twice]
275
00:12:29,162 --> 00:12:30,432
You'll get it.
276
00:12:30,432 --> 00:12:33,462
Okay, well, um, so...
277
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,202
do I have your vote?
278
00:12:35,202 --> 00:12:38,720
Sorry, I can't vote
for a dirty politician.
279
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,720
♪ ♪
280
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,542
Yes, Judith, Will's bringing
him to the wedding.
281
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:47,820
Ugh! Yes, he's cute!
282
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:48,982
No, you cannot sit
at his table!
283
00:12:48,982 --> 00:12:52,482
I'm in a lot of pain, moth--
hey, buddy.
284
00:12:52,482 --> 00:12:54,152
Sorry, Jack.
285
00:12:54,152 --> 00:12:56,952
It looks like I won't be coming
to your wedding after all.
286
00:12:56,952 --> 00:12:58,452
Will dumped me.
287
00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:00,920
Oh.
288
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,292
It's opposite day.
[chuckles]
289
00:13:03,292 --> 00:13:06,232
It's my fault.
I came on too strong.
290
00:13:06,232 --> 00:13:07,502
I've known him two days,
291
00:13:07,502 --> 00:13:09,200
and I already know
his mother's name,
292
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,302
where she lives,
293
00:13:10,302 --> 00:13:13,102
and what her house
looks like on Google Earth.
294
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:16,372
At least you don't know
what Kevin Bacon's garbage
295
00:13:16,372 --> 00:13:18,720
smells like.
[laughs]
296
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:20,782
I'm such an idiot.
297
00:13:20,782 --> 00:13:22,682
And I really liked him.
298
00:13:23,982 --> 00:13:25,852
You poor dear boy.
299
00:13:25,852 --> 00:13:28,652
You know, you remind me of a...
300
00:13:28,652 --> 00:13:31,792
slightly older version
of myself.
301
00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:34,892
You think I'm older than you?
'Cause I was born in--
302
00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:38,562
Let's not get caught up
in math, kay?
303
00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:40,132
Look, I know what it's like
304
00:13:40,132 --> 00:13:42,102
to fall in love
for the first time.
305
00:13:42,102 --> 00:13:44,720
It's like when you first try
cotton candy,
306
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:45,732
and you think,
"This is all I want to eat
307
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,872
and I want to eat it
all right now!"
308
00:13:47,872 --> 00:13:49,612
And your mom's like,
"You're gonna get sick."
309
00:13:49,612 --> 00:13:52,642
And you'll all, [yells]
"I know my own body, Judith!"
310
00:13:54,752 --> 00:13:58,652
And you end up with blue vomit
all over your clothes.
311
00:13:59,982 --> 00:14:02,622
But you got to ease into it,
you know?
312
00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:04,452
If you really want to make it
work with Will,
313
00:14:04,462 --> 00:14:07,492
let him know you're willing
to take it slow.
314
00:14:07,492 --> 00:14:10,320
Why are you helping me?
315
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,732
Kind of got the sense
that you're rooting
316
00:14:11,732 --> 00:14:13,332
against us being together.
317
00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:14,962
Whaaat?
318
00:14:18,272 --> 00:14:19,602
Weird.
319
00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:21,302
Will's my best friend,
320
00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:23,772
and you seem like a decent guy,
321
00:14:23,772 --> 00:14:25,672
As much as it kills me
to say this
322
00:14:25,682 --> 00:14:29,142
because I'm rooting
against you,
323
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:31,582
he deserves to be happy.
324
00:14:32,822 --> 00:14:33,852
Thanks, Jack.
325
00:14:33,852 --> 00:14:39,422
♪ ♪
326
00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:43,920
I have to tell you I'm very
disappointed in you, Grace.
327
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:44,762
I need some air.
328
00:14:44,762 --> 00:14:46,920
Val.
329
00:14:47,132 --> 00:14:49,262
This is just
a big misunderstanding, Val.
330
00:14:49,272 --> 00:14:51,172
I mean, we have history.
331
00:14:51,172 --> 00:14:52,672
You hit me in the head
with a snow globe,
332
00:14:52,672 --> 00:14:55,142
and that's friendship.
333
00:14:55,142 --> 00:14:58,420
Is that a drone
delivering a pizza?
334
00:14:58,420 --> 00:14:59,982
They do that now?
335
00:15:03,112 --> 00:15:05,412
- What are you doing?
- I can't let you win, Grace.
336
00:15:05,422 --> 00:15:08,252
The Guild deserves a leader
with a moral compass like me.
337
00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:10,452
You can't just show up
and run at the last minute.
338
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:13,620
Article 172 of the bylaws
says that I can.
339
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,162
We have bylaws?
340
00:15:15,162 --> 00:15:17,992
Yes, we do,
as established in Article 1.
341
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,802
Good-bye, Grace.
Wait, Val! No!
342
00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:22,502
[banging, rattles handle]
343
00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:24,802
Val, come on!
344
00:15:24,802 --> 00:15:27,302
Oh. Oh, no.
345
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:31,420
[sirens wailing in distance]
346
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,842
[whispering] Oh, God.
Oh, God.
347
00:15:33,842 --> 00:15:35,742
Oh, God.
348
00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:37,752
[grunts]
349
00:15:37,752 --> 00:15:40,652
Okay, I can do this.
350
00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:45,192
[lengthy gasp]
351
00:15:45,192 --> 00:15:46,962
[wails]
352
00:15:46,962 --> 00:15:48,222
I can do this.
353
00:15:48,232 --> 00:15:51,620
Just have to get to the window.
354
00:15:52,232 --> 00:15:55,532
And then I'll be
on the staircase
355
00:15:55,532 --> 00:15:58,502
that smells like diapers,
and I can handle that.
356
00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:03,812
[exhaling heavily]
357
00:16:03,812 --> 00:16:05,642
[lengthy gasp]
358
00:16:05,642 --> 00:16:09,112
Oh, my God.
359
00:16:09,112 --> 00:16:11,612
The hawk.
[gasps]
360
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,722
You're so beautiful.
361
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,522
[hawk caws]
362
00:16:15,522 --> 00:16:18,422
Oh! Oh, no!
Come back!
363
00:16:18,422 --> 00:16:21,692
Your babies will freeze
if they're left uncovered!
364
00:16:21,692 --> 00:16:24,862
Freezing your eggs should
not be an impulse decision!
365
00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:29,602
Who's gonna keep them warm now?
366
00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:33,302
Aw, crap.
367
00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:35,802
♪ ♪
368
00:16:35,812 --> 00:16:37,572
Grace, I know you always
tell me not to leave
369
00:16:37,572 --> 00:16:40,112
long, rambling messages, but
you gotta listen to this one.
370
00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:41,842
I don't know what to do
about McCoy.
371
00:16:41,852 --> 00:16:45,652
The guy's way too into me
after one date.
372
00:16:45,652 --> 00:16:47,552
You think sleeping with him
when he was vulnerable
373
00:16:47,552 --> 00:16:50,692
and in tears was sending
a mixed message?
374
00:16:50,692 --> 00:16:54,620
Oh, here he is on the TV.
375
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,362
God, he's pretty.
376
00:16:56,362 --> 00:17:00,200
You know, this isn't a problem.
Don't call me back.
377
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,602
So we're leftwith the question:
378
00:17:01,602 --> 00:17:03,432
With the mother hawknowhere in sight,
379
00:17:03,432 --> 00:17:06,402
how much longer can the woman
squatting over the eggs
380
00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:08,272
continue to keep them warm?
381
00:17:08,272 --> 00:17:11,420
What are you looking at?
382
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,612
This is what
a good New Yorker does.
383
00:17:15,352 --> 00:17:18,212
Well, this was bound
to happen sooner or later.
384
00:17:18,222 --> 00:17:20,382
Oh, God.
385
00:17:20,382 --> 00:17:22,422
Oh!
386
00:17:22,422 --> 00:17:24,920
I forgot about you.
387
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,192
[laughing] Yeah.
Yes.
388
00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:30,392
[hawk cawing]
389
00:17:30,392 --> 00:17:32,692
Mama bird, you're back!
390
00:17:32,702 --> 00:17:34,502
Hi!
391
00:17:34,502 --> 00:17:36,332
Look! Look!
392
00:17:36,332 --> 00:17:38,172
I kept them warm for you.
393
00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:41,972
[hawk cawing]
394
00:17:41,972 --> 00:17:43,942
What's that look in your eye?
395
00:17:43,942 --> 00:17:45,412
[hawk cawing]
396
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:48,142
No!
[screaming]
397
00:17:51,532 --> 00:17:54,232
[jazzy music]
398
00:17:54,232 --> 00:17:56,200
H-[laughs]n.
399
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,102
Do you like my new outfit
that I bought
400
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,720
with my own money?
[clicks tongue]
401
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:03,942
I do, and I don't expect
402
00:18:03,942 --> 00:18:06,912
anything in return.
[clicks tongue]
403
00:18:06,912 --> 00:18:08,612
[both laugh]
404
00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:10,282
It's so nice to finally play
with someone
405
00:18:10,282 --> 00:18:12,952
who gets the rules.
Yeah!
406
00:18:12,952 --> 00:18:14,252
Okay.
407
00:18:14,252 --> 00:18:15,752
Now, now,
408
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,920
everyone, can I please
have your attention?
409
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,292
I have no idea where Grace is,
probably in a bar.
410
00:18:21,302 --> 00:18:23,132
Uh...
411
00:18:23,132 --> 00:18:25,262
but I don't know for sure,
but since she's not here,
412
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,602
I feel compelled to throw
my hat into the ring.
413
00:18:28,602 --> 00:18:32,372
Damn you, Article 172!
[sighs]
414
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,342
And speaking of Grace,
what kind of a person
415
00:18:35,342 --> 00:18:37,420
throws a victory party
for herself
416
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,612
in her own office
for an election
417
00:18:38,612 --> 00:18:39,812
and doesn't even show up?
418
00:18:39,812 --> 00:18:41,120
What's that?
419
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,722
[raspy voice] "A crazy person!"
420
00:18:45,652 --> 00:18:48,292
Sir, sir, that's not fair.
421
00:18:48,292 --> 00:18:50,962
I don't like that one bit.
422
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:53,220
But I must say
that I do agree with you.
423
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,862
It is a little crazy.
424
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:57,962
Who are you calling crazy?
425
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:04,742
This wackadoo locked me
out on a ledge,
426
00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:07,420
and then I had to sit
on hawk eggs
427
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:09,812
and keep them warm,
and I sang to them,
428
00:19:09,812 --> 00:19:12,142
and I loved them in my own way.
429
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,912
[breathing shakily]
430
00:19:13,912 --> 00:19:17,982
And then the mommy hawk came
back, and did she thank me?
431
00:19:17,992 --> 00:19:20,352
No...
432
00:19:20,352 --> 00:19:24,992
♪ ♪
433
00:19:24,992 --> 00:19:27,920
Honey, cheer up.
434
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,262
You had to know
this was gonna happen.
435
00:19:29,262 --> 00:19:32,932
No, I didn't know
I was gonna win.
436
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:39,242
They knew I was corrupt,
and they voted for me anyway.
437
00:19:39,242 --> 00:19:42,120
Honey, they voted for you
because you're corrupt.
438
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,682
Where have you been?
439
00:19:44,682 --> 00:19:47,520
You know what?
I'm gonna redeem myself.
440
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,220
It'll take a lot of work,
but I'm up for the challenge.
441
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:54,422
Stop moping.
You're President of the...
442
00:19:54,422 --> 00:19:58,362
Helena Bonham Carter
something something.
443
00:19:58,362 --> 00:20:03,902
♪ ♪
444
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:06,320
[knocking at door]
445
00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:09,302
McCoy?
446
00:20:09,302 --> 00:20:11,402
Look, I know I've been
going too fast.
447
00:20:11,412 --> 00:20:14,720
And I know saying "I love you"
to someone
448
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,312
you've gone on two dates
with is crazy.
449
00:20:17,312 --> 00:20:20,252
I went too far,
and I freaked you out.
450
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,520
Jack helped me realize that.
451
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,882
- Jack?
- Yeah.
452
00:20:23,882 --> 00:20:26,122
He said that relationships
are like cotton candy
453
00:20:26,122 --> 00:20:28,822
and that I shouldn't
give up on us.
454
00:20:31,392 --> 00:20:33,232
Jack McFarland?
455
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,932
Yeah.
456
00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:36,502
He's a pretty deep guy.
457
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,302
Jack McFarland,
the jumpy ferret-man
458
00:20:38,302 --> 00:20:40,172
who lives across the hall?
459
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,502
Yeah. Look, the truth is,
460
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,842
I've never been
in a real relationship before.
461
00:20:45,842 --> 00:20:48,272
I don't really know how to be.
462
00:20:48,282 --> 00:20:50,942
Well, you're doing
pretty good right now.
463
00:20:50,942 --> 00:20:54,820
So what do you say?
Can we give it another shot?
464
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,752
[clears throat] Yeah.
I'd like that.
465
00:20:56,752 --> 00:20:58,952
But let's just take it slow.
466
00:20:58,952 --> 00:21:03,422
Okay? Fewer gifts
and on-air declarations.
467
00:21:03,422 --> 00:21:04,922
Got it.
468
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:08,920
So... I'll call you.
469
00:21:08,102 --> 00:21:09,932
Where are you going?
470
00:21:09,932 --> 00:21:12,102
I thought you wanted
to take it slow?
471
00:21:12,102 --> 00:21:13,432
Let's talk about it tomorrow.
472
00:21:13,432 --> 00:21:15,272
I'm in the mood
for cotton candy.
473
00:21:15,272 --> 00:21:18,442
♪ ♪
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