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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,049
Oh, my God, Clem, the barista
was not hitting on you.
2
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:07,094
He was, Shannon.
3
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,183
He kept smiling,
making small talk.
4
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,186
He called me Hot Vanilla.
5
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,579
Because that's what you ordered.
6
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,974
Why do you always think
everyone's hitting on you?
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,410
Wait. This about
what you told me happened
8
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,021
last week with the UPS man?
9
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,197
[Nick and Shannon laugh]
10
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,982
"I have a package for you"?
That's his job.
11
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,419
NICK:
Oh.
12
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,247
Uh, speaking of jobs,
I have news.
13
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,771
I might be getting
a giant new office!
14
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,512
You've been wanting one.
What happened?
15
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:38,125
Well, the professor
who had the office... died, um,
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,865
which is very sad,
17
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,303
but I might be getting
a brand-new giant office!
18
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:46,394
Problem is, all the professors
are angling for this office,
19
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,222
but not all the professors
can invite the dean
20
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:49,875
to their wedding.
21
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,139
Okay, but your mom's
not gonna be happy about this.
22
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,097
She called me
last night, ecstatic,
23
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,578
because she finally
figured out the seating chart.
24
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,101
Look, she'll understand.
25
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,061
This is a way for her son
to gain some respect at work.
26
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,671
[door buzzer sounds]CLEM:
Ooh.
27
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,194
I hope that's the UPS guy
28
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:07,110
so that I can show you guys
what I'm talking about.
29
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,894
[breathily]:
Hello?
30
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,158
JOJO:
Hi, is Shannon there?
31
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,768
Tell her it's JoJo.
32
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,987
What? No. No.
Oh, my God, no.
33
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,206
I never want to see
that douche again!
34
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,512
Shannon, come on!
35
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:20,123
I have your jacket
that you left at my place.
36
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:23,344
Go to hell, JoJo!
37
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,389
With that stuff in the pocket.
38
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,742
All right, come on up.
39
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,267
Wait a second.
Is that MC DJ JoJo--
40
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,138
that guy that cheated on you?
41
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,748
Yeah. That's why
I dumped his ass
42
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:39,273
and didn't move in with him,
which was a real sacrifice
43
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,797
for me because he lives
right above a Dunkin' Donuts.
44
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,147
[knocking]
45
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:48,151
Shannon, baby,
how you doing?
46
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,328
Girl, I miss
you so much.
47
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,591
Oh, yeah? What about
that cashier from Arby's?
48
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,898
Well, she's gone. Baby,
49
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,335
I'm not the cheating
liar I used to be.
50
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,382
Okay. Where's my jacket?
51
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,123
Uh, I lied about that.
52
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,604
Get out of here, JoJo.
I never want to see you again.
53
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,171
Wow. Good for you.
54
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,564
Took a lot of maturity.
55
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,219
I'm proud of you, Shannon.
56
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:15,047
Okay.
57
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,485
"I'm proud of you, Shannon"?
Why did you say that?
58
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,051
What are you talking about?
59
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,445
She's 16. You can't praise
her for turning him down.
60
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:24,231
That'll just make her jump
right back into his arms.
61
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,449
Oh, come on, Clem.
That's insane.
62
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:28,235
Right, and teenage girls
are famously sane.
63
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:31,629
Yup, that's what
they say about them.
64
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,631
"Oh, look,
there's a teenage girl.
65
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:37,113
I bet she's off to make
a super rational decision."
66
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,767
Okay, but don't you think
67
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,247
you might be
underestimating Shannon?
68
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,858
[rapid knocking]
69
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,426
Hey! Just got a
text from Shannon.
70
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,342
JoJo!
[laughing]
71
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,734
I missed us!
72
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,739
[JoJo whoops]
73
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,219
[door closes]
74
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,265
♪
75
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:04,445
Hey, guys.Hi.
76
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,576
Hey, Dad.
77
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,795
Hi.[laughs]
Hey.
78
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:09,319
So, uh, where's Mom?
79
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,321
Uh, she is making herself
a martini.
80
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,236
Mm.
81
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,804
At 11:00
in the morning?
82
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,850
A woman after my own heart.
83
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,635
She's been celebrating
ever since
84
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,811
she finished the seating
chart for the wedding.
85
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,813
That thing was killing her,
but it's done.
86
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:28,991
She finally has her life back,
and I finally have my wife back.
87
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,385
♪ I told you.
88
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,038
It's only two people.
89
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:34,388
♪ It'll be fine.
90
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:38,870
There are my beautiful babies.
91
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,221
Hello. Hello. Hello.
92
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,962
Hello.Mmm.
93
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:46,400
Rose, I've never
seen you in pajamas. Oh.
94
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,097
Sweetheart,
these are not pajamas.
95
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,403
These are my...
96
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,883
relaxation silks.
97
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,145
Mm-hmm.
98
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:55,887
I'm finally finished
with the seating chart,
99
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:59,021
and my personal hell is over.
100
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,241
Uh, Mom, uh, about that--
it's not a big deal,
101
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,765
but I need to invite a couple
more people to the wedding.
102
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,072
Oh, God, no.
103
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,685
It's all right, Walt. This is...
this is not a problem.
104
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,948
I'll just take
the old seating chart,
105
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,907
put it in the garbage,
and start a new one.
106
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,169
I'm so sorry. I'm just...
107
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,084
I'm trying to get a
bigger office at work...
108
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,217
It's all right.
It's all right, Nick.
109
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,089
You know what? I'm gonna
take off my relaxation silks
110
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:27,745
and put on my "what the hell
did I do to deserve this" pants!
111
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:30,922
[phone buzzes]
112
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,403
Oh, it's a text from JoJo.
113
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,144
Her stupid ex-boyfriend.
114
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,363
SHANNON:
Actually he's my
115
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,147
ex-ex-boyfriend.
116
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:42,238
And he's not stupid.
He's a genius.
117
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,327
Anyway,
I got to go
118
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:47,025
'cause he got his head stuck
in a banister.
119
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,201
Someone bet him 20 bucks
it wouldn't fit.
120
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:52,553
So, once I get him loose...
he's treating me to Chili's.
121
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,514
Wait. JoJo-- I thought she hated
that guy. What happened?
122
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,864
Nick?
123
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,040
Would you like
to field this question?
124
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,086
[sighs]
125
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:08,917
Well, I told Shannon
I was proud of her
126
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,049
when she refused
to take JoJo back,
127
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,313
which apparently
led her back to...
128
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,880
[whispering]:
JoJo.
129
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,186
Rookie mistake.
130
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,101
If you want a teenager
to do something,
131
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,885
you have to tell 'em
the opposite.
132
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,887
He's right.
We need to pretend
133
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:25,412
to like JoJo
so that Shannon hates JoJo.
134
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:28,545
Of course, Nick always did
what we told him.
135
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,895
But for cool kids,
the rule applies.
136
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,163
[both laughing]
137
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,252
There's the cutest couple!
138
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,689
Hi, guys.'Sup?
139
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,517
JoJo, it's so
great to see you.
140
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,562
Nick, how great
is it to see JoJo?
141
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,259
So great. [laughs]
142
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:50,393
Because JoJo is
an excellent young man
143
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,264
of whom I am a big fan.
144
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:55,572
Okay, what the hell
did you two take?
145
00:05:57,095 --> 00:06:00,316
Yeah, I want
some. [laughs]
146
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,491
[laughs]
147
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,537
Drug humor-- I love it.
148
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,016
NICK [laughs]:
Oh, too bad
149
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,236
I have to go, but I'm so glad
you two patched things up.
150
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:08,455
Mm-hmm.Oh, bye, babe.
151
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,673
Bye.
Could not
152
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,762
endorse this relationship
any more fully!
153
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,461
I mean, Shannon, do not
let this one get away, okay?
154
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:15,810
This is the real deal.
155
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:19,291
JoJo. JoJo.
JoJo! JoJo!
156
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:23,600
[ringtone plays]Oh. I got to take this.
157
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:24,949
Go-go for JoJo.
158
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:27,517
"Go-go for JoJo."
159
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:30,781
That kid is a poet.
160
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,567
Give it up, Clem.
I know what you're doing.
161
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,698
You think that
if you're nice
162
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,483
to JoJo,
it'll make me not like him.
163
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,006
[sputters]
No.
164
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,268
Is it working?What?
165
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,446
Shannon, look, I'm just...
I'm trying to stop you
166
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,492
from making a huge mistake.Clem,
167
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,450
look, I actually
really like him,
168
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,497
and, yeah, he hurt me before,
but he's a different guy now.
169
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,542
He's really starting
to get his act together.
170
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,588
I honestly think
that that whole
171
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:57,025
getting his head stuck in
a banister thing was...
172
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,984
it was a real wake-up
call for him.
173
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:04,815
Yo, just booked
a bar mitzvah tonight!
174
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,077
Nice!
175
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,602
Yeah. DJ Sesame Bagel
got sick.
176
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,082
Oh, I'm gonna miss
you so much, babe.
177
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:12,475
Oh, I can sneak you in
if you want.
178
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,651
No way. Yeah?
Yeah.
179
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,697
[both make silly noise]
180
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:20,048
So, that's exciting
about the gig.
181
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:23,094
Yeah, yeah, DJing is my job,
but it's not my passion.
182
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,269
What's your passion?
183
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,619
Pretty women,
184
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:28,796
especially older ones
who know what they're doing.
185
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,582
Okay, I'm ready to go.
See you later, Clem.
186
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,193
Yeah, see you later...
ma'am. [laughs]
187
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,726
Shan, you're gonna be
late for school!
188
00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:50,165
SHANNON:
I know! That's intentional!
189
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,906
You really want to
have this conversation
190
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,298
before she goes to school?
191
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,996
Her boyfriend hit on me.
192
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,780
That's something
that she needs to know.
193
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,390
I absolutely agree.
194
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,741
And you're sure this is not like
the thing with the UPS man?
195
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,876
Hey, Shan, how was that
bar mitzvah last night?
196
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,749
Amazing. JoJo mixed Jay-Z
with "Hava Nagilah"
197
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,142
and the place went meshuggener.
198
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,449
All right, babe,
I have to go to work.
199
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,711
You good?
200
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:17,322
I got this.All right.
201
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,715
What's going on, Clem?
202
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,849
Well, this isn't easy to say,
203
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:25,330
but yesterday, when you left
the room to go get your coat,
204
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:28,943
JoJo-- he...
he hit on me.
205
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:32,207
[laughs]
206
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:35,602
Clem, did he call you
Hot Vanilla, too? Huh?
207
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:39,867
Okay, maybe I was wrong about
the barista and the UPS guy
208
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:42,783
and possibly that guy at
Subway because I now know
209
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,307
that "footlong" is a thing
that they say, but...
210
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,135
[sighs heavily]
211
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,572
Trust me, this happened.
212
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,531
Admit it, Clem.
You're just saying this
213
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,836
because you don't like JoJo.
214
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,578
No. Shannon, I'm saying this
because he hit on me.
215
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,580
He's not a good guy.
You deserve better.
216
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,626
Clem, I'll tell you
what I deserve.
217
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,498
I deserve a sister who doesn't
treat me like I'm an idiot.
218
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,501
You always think you know what's
best for me, but you don't.
219
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,722
Besides, JoJo isn't
into old ladies.
220
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,423
Well, he was into this one!
221
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,950
And I am notone!
222
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,565
[knocking]Yup. Come in.
223
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,131
Oh, Dean Kaiser.
Here, come on in.
224
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,829
Has... Let me, yeah,
see if I can get...
225
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,482
Oh, shoot.
226
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,962
Wow.
227
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,095
It's pretty tight quarters
you got here, Nick.Yeah.
228
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,444
Uh, so, hey, um,
229
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,751
I got that wedding invitation
you put on my desk.
230
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,927
Yes, yes,
very important day for me,
231
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:44,540
and I really wanted my good
friend and mentor to be there.
232
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,324
That's really sweet,
but unfortunately
233
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,109
my brother and sister
are visiting
234
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,545
from Vermont that weekend.
235
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,677
Oh.
236
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,982
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'd love to be there,
237
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,549
but I just can't
leave them alone
238
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,942
on the one night
they're in town.
239
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,378
Yeah...
240
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,163
You know what?
Bring 'em.
241
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,687
Seriously?
242
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,036
Yes.To your wedding?
243
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:04,168
To my wedding, yes.
Let's add a couple more.
244
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,388
The more the merrier. [laughs]
245
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,129
Look, they're coming
with their spouses.
246
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:11,349
Spouses. I love spouses. I'm
about to be a spouse. Bring 'em!
247
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,742
Are you sure?
248
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:15,571
Yes, absolutely. Bring 'em.
Bring 'em all, Dean!
249
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,181
Thanks, Nick.Yeah.
250
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,053
Looking forward to it.You got it.
251
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:21,316
Okay.
[laughing]: All right.
252
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,579
All right.
253
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,668
Damn it. Damn it!
254
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,849
So, in addition to
the dean and his wife,
255
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,591
you invited four
members of his family?
256
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,115
Your mom is gonna kill you.
257
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:42,206
Well, if she does,
that opens up one slot.
258
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,078
Oh, and Shannon's never gonna
speak to me again,
259
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,688
so there's another spot.
260
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,647
Ooh, that's great.
That's two.
261
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,518
Who else can we piss off?
262
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,128
[knocking on door]
263
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:54,697
Mm. [clears throat]
264
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,003
Oh, hey, Dad.
Hi.
265
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,135
What are you doing here?
266
00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,484
I came by to let you know
267
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:02,444
that I'm gonna need
a plus-one to the wedding.
268
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,708
Okay, but first of all,
269
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,015
you were almost
a minus-one.
270
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:11,018
So you can bring a no one.
271
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,194
Come on,
weddings are romantic.
272
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,239
I want to share it
with someone special.
273
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,894
Once I settle
on who that person is.
274
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,245
Okay, what does
that even mean?
275
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,683
It means I'm seriously
dating someone,
276
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:27,034
and I'm dating someone else
seriously.
277
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:30,080
No wonder Shannon goes
for awful guys.
278
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,126
Look at who her
male role model is.
279
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,257
What are you talking about?
280
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,956
Shannon's boyfriend JoJo
hit on Clem.
281
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,261
Her?
282
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,178
Isn't she a little
old for him?
283
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,052
I think he has some sort
of weird fetish.[both laugh]
284
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:47,663
Okay, I am not
"fetish" old.
285
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,188
I just don't want Shannon dating
some guy
286
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,755
who's horrible
and cheating on her.
287
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,539
That type of behavior
makes me sick.
288
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,280
It's no way to treat a woman.
289
00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,544
That's how
you're treating the women
290
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:00,763
that you're dating
right now.
291
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,766
Yeah, but this is my daughter.
292
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,682
And those women are also
someone's daughter.
293
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,554
Yeah, but not mine.
294
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,297
Am I not being clear?
295
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,126
I don't know what to do.
296
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,041
Shannon doesn't believe
that he hit on me.
297
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,608
Well, if you really want
to prove it,
298
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,828
we could catch him in the act
hitting on you again.
299
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,307
Get the whole thing on tape.
300
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,787
Now, you may have to, uh,
301
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:28,095
hoo-chi-waa-waa
a little to reel him in.
302
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,532
No. Dad, no.
303
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,316
This is an insane idea.
304
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,841
You got a better one,
Mrs. Robinson?
305
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,538
Come on.
306
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,235
You want to bust this kid
or not?
307
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,411
I mean, the last time
that she dated this guy,
308
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:43,110
she almost
moved in with him.
309
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,112
You know what?
Fine. Let's do it.
310
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,549
On second thought,
I'm not sure we should.
311
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:50,770
I mean, it's kind of an abuse
of my power as a cop.
312
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:54,295
[laughs]
313
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:56,427
Does no one get
my sense of humor?
314
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,131
NICK: Hey, Mom. ROSE: Hey, sweetheart.
315
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:07,351
It has taken me
18 straight hours,
316
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:11,225
but I have single-handedly
rearranged the entire wedding
317
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:16,099
and squeezed in two extra seats
for your boss.
318
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,667
[laughs] It was dark,
dark days over here,
319
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,713
but we got through it,
just barely.
320
00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,150
Well, thanks, Mom.
321
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,804
I really appreciate it.Mm.
322
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,718
But there's just,
uh, one...
323
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,285
little hiccup.Hiccup?
324
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,287
Oh, God, not a hiccup.
325
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:33,116
Well, I talked to the dean,
326
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,380
and he is thrilled-- like,
thrilled-- to come, right?
327
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:40,341
But, uh, so are
the four other people
328
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,603
I told him
he could bring.
329
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:45,912
I was in labor 72 hours and...
[laughs]
330
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:48,392
this is how you repay me?
331
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:51,091
Was I a bad father?
332
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,397
Is this your way
of punishing me?
333
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,356
Look, it's going to be fine.
334
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:57,271
Here, let me see
the seating chart.
335
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,968
Okay, what's this in the middle?
336
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,796
Can't we just put
the table there?
337
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,363
That is the wedding tree.
338
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:03,886
People put gifts
underneath it,
339
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,236
money and messages
on its leaves.
340
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,674
It is a family tradition,
and my one and only demand.
341
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,241
Mom, you've made dozens
of demands.
342
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,330
You didn't let me finish.
343
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,376
About a tree.
344
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,247
Mom, I get it, I understand,
but it would solve all
345
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:20,903
of our problems if we just...
got rid of the tree.
346
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,168
Fine.
347
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,257
I will get rid
of the tree.
348
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,130
I will rearrange
everything.
349
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:31,392
Yeah.
350
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:34,177
Again.
351
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:38,312
72 hours!
352
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,622
Okay, so this is how
it's gonna work:
353
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,537
Linda and I are gonna be seated
right over there.
354
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,713
And as long as I'm facing
your table,
355
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:52,630
my body cam will record every
disgusting act this punk does.
356
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,545
That seems great.
357
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,547
And it's so lovely
to meet you, Linda.
358
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,593
And who is Linda?
359
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,464
She's my girlfriend.
360
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,640
I can't just be in a restaurant
by myself like a loser.
361
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,207
I got to blend in.
362
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,080
This is all
very exciting.
363
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,517
Good luck getting this
young man to hit on you.
364
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,128
Why, thank you, Linda.
365
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:14,914
Oh, he's here.
366
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:17,090
Sit down. Go, go, go.
367
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,136
Hey. I was hoping
I'd hear from you.
368
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,096
I thought we should talk about
what happened the other day.
369
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,663
You know, when you were at
my apartment with Shannon?
370
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:29,015
[laughs] You mean when
I said, you know.
371
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,321
CLEM:
I do know.
372
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,323
And I want you
to tell me everything
373
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,977
that you want to do to me.
374
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,458
But speak up and enunciate.
375
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,286
Oh, yeah.
376
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:42,898
I bet you'd like me
to enunciate.
377
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,553
You don't know what that word
means, do you?
378
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:48,121
I do not.
379
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,905
Can I get the steak?
380
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,995
No. You know the drill.
Chicken or cheaper.
381
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,345
Freddy?
382
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,957
Stacy. What are you doing here?
383
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,785
You left me a voice mail saying
to meet you here.
384
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,831
Well, yeah, but, uh,
you never called me back.
385
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,224
Who is this?
386
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,529
I'm his girlfriend.
Who are you?
387
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:06,878
I'm his girlfriend.
388
00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,315
Excuse me, sir?
389
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:11,144
I'm out of breadsticks.
Do you have any?
390
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:13,146
Hang on, Clem.
Clem?
391
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:14,277
How many girls in here
do you know?
392
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,539
Are you cheating on me, Freddy?
393
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:17,324
If anything,
he's cheating on me.
394
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,673
Go to hell, Freddy.
395
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,370
Yeah, Freddy, go to hell.
396
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,198
Stacy, wait!
397
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:25,027
Linda, also wait!
398
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,466
Yo, want to bounce?
399
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,207
'Cause I got my mom's Kia
400
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:35,081
[singsongy]:
if you want to get weird.
401
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:39,172
Now you say that?
402
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,044
What is going on?
403
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:44,394
I am not sleeping
with my sister's boyfriend.
404
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:46,875
Well, I'm not her
boyfriend anymore.
405
00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,224
Shannon broke up
with me yesterday.
406
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,921
She did?
407
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,445
Why didn't she tell me that?
408
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:56,102
I don't know, but I do know
my Kia has lay-flat seats.
409
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:58,234
Well, my mom's Kia.
410
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,237
Gross.
411
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,196
I can't help it.
412
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:04,545
You're such a babe.
413
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:06,373
Tell me about the '90s!
414
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,728
[knocking on door]
415
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,773
Come in.
416
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:17,340
Oh, Dean Kaiser.
417
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,038
Please, no need
to climb over to me.
418
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,736
Uh, I just came to give you
some good news.
419
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,303
You got the big office.
420
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:24,217
I did?
[laughs]
421
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,915
[groans]
422
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,786
That's great.
423
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,093
Congratulations, Nick.
You deserve it.
424
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,008
Oh. D-Dean Kaiser, wait.
425
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,271
Look, I know the only way
you could come to my wedding
426
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:38,970
is if your whole family comes,
but we don't have enough room.
427
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,450
Oh.And I'm sorry.
428
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:44,454
If it costs me the office,
I totally understand.
429
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,413
Wait, did you just invite me
430
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,328
to the wedding so you can get
the big office?
431
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,330
Maybe, kinda, sorta. Yes.
432
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,333
[laughing]
433
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,816
Why are we laughing?
I don't understand.
434
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,036
I hate weddings.
435
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,779
And when I thought I told you
about my family being in town,
436
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,781
I'd be off the hook,
but then you invited them all
437
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,478
like a big old psycho.
438
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,524
So you don't want to come?
439
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,265
None of us want to come.
440
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:14,223
Oh, this...
441
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,355
Thank you, Dean.
Thank you.
442
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:16,573
Thank you.
443
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,272
Thank you. [grunts]
444
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,664
So, so do I still
get the office?
445
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,536
Do you promise to never
invite me to anything again?
446
00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:24,364
I will exclude you from
anything and everything
447
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,974
until the day you die.
448
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,416
Thank you, Dean. [whoops]
449
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:39,988
Hey.
450
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,381
Where have you been?
451
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,861
JoJo had a rap battle
with DJ Sesame Bagel.
452
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,907
Toasted him.
453
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,214
I ran into him, Shannon.
454
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,303
I know that you broke up
with him. What happened?
455
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,305
It's none of your business.
456
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:53,915
What did he do?
457
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,264
Did he hit on somebody?
458
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:56,352
Maybe.
459
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:57,353
Who?
460
00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,182
You. Okay? He hit on you.
461
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,532
Wait, I thought you didn't
believe me.
462
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:05,666
Of course I believed you.
#BelieveAllWomen. Duh.
463
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,582
Everybody hits on you
all the time,
464
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,062
and it's super annoying.
465
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,152
Wait, really?
466
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,414
Even that UPS guy?
467
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:17,199
Are you kidding me?
468
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,506
Dude was all, "Are you
interested in my package?"
469
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,638
It wasn't even a package,
it was an envelope.
470
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,860
I'm just trying to keep
your ego in check.
471
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:28,819
But then why did you pretend
not to believe me about JoJo?
472
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:31,170
Because I hate it
when you're right.
473
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:34,608
And you're right a lot,
and I hate it.
474
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,438
Okay, look.
475
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:41,919
Shannon, when I was your age,
I made a lot of mistakes.
476
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,531
I can't even tell you
how many JoJos I dated
477
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,272
before I finally
found Nick.
478
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,710
I don't want you to have
to go through that.
479
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:52,452
That's really cool of you
to say, Clem. Thanks.
480
00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:54,454
Nothing would
make me happier
481
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,499
than if you learn
from my mistakes.
482
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,286
Yeah, that's not
gonna happen.
483
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,464
What?
484
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,379
Clem, if you didn't date
all those losers,
485
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,555
you'd never get how great
you have it now.
486
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,427
[scoffs]
Don't rob me of that.
487
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,823
Yeah, that's not really
the point I was trying to make.
488
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,652
But it's the point you made.
489
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:22,221
And as we established,
you're always right.
490
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,878
Hey, babe.
491
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,098
Sorry I'm late.
I got lost trying to find my way
492
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:31,752
out of my new giant office!
493
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,797
[gasps]
That's great.
494
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:34,798
[laughs]
495
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:37,410
[laughs]
I've got good news, too.
496
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,848
Yeah?
Shannon kicked JoJo to the curb.
497
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:43,285
Also, more good news:
498
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:45,069
Everyone ishitting on me.
499
00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:47,898
Captioning sponsored by
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500
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,253
Captioned by
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501
00:20:54,303 --> 00:20:58,853
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