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1
00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:05,870
Hi,
this is Elizabeth Montgomery,
2
00:00:05,871 --> 00:00:09,574
inviting you to stay tuned
for Bewitched.
3
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,111
[
]
4
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:23,755
DARRIN: Sam?
Out here.
5
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,125
What are you doing?
6
00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:28,693
Uh, potting.
7
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:31,530
I, uh... I thought you were gonna
sleep late this morning.
8
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,332
Yeah, but I find it hard
to sleep in a half-empty bed.
9
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,502
Oh, heh. Well, I had
these pots on my mind...
10
00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:39,370
Oh, I must look a mess.
11
00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:42,874
Yeah, but what a beautiful mess.
12
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:46,144
Let's see, now.
There's a nice clean spot.
13
00:00:46,145 --> 00:00:47,579
[CHUCKLES]
14
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,814
Let me wash up.
I'll fix you some breakfast.
15
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:51,282
I haven't got time
for breakfast.
16
00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:52,651
I have
an 11:00 appointment.
17
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,052
Then I have to stop off
and pick up
18
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,054
a special surprise
I found for you.
19
00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,155
What's the occasion?
20
00:00:58,156 --> 00:01:00,859
It's an everyday occasion.
I love you.
21
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,527
ENDORA:
Stop.
22
00:01:02,528 --> 00:01:05,597
I'm getting nauseous.
23
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:07,932
Up here, my darlings.
24
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:10,301
Endora, must you show up
without any warning?
25
00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:11,803
Like the flu?
26
00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:15,807
Durwood, you are very ignorable.
27
00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:17,308
Let's keep it that way.
28
00:01:17,309 --> 00:01:19,043
Mo... Oh.
29
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:26,284
[LAUGHS]
30
00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:31,322
Sweetheart, don't forget
that Larry and the Franklins
31
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:33,658
are coming over for dinner tonight.
No, no.
32
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:35,326
I'll be home early.
33
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:37,395
I still say
you're a beautiful mess.
34
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:38,730
[LAUGHS]
35
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,268
The bologna in this place
36
00:01:44,269 --> 00:01:46,438
could supply a delicatessen
for a year.
37
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,540
Mother, if you don't like it,
38
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,041
why don't you go someplace
39
00:01:50,042 --> 00:01:51,976
where the eavesdropping
is better?
40
00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:55,513
The way you lap up that syrup,
my darling, it's pathetic.
41
00:01:55,514 --> 00:01:56,748
Why shouldn't I?
42
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,215
Because he's a mortal.
43
00:01:58,216 --> 00:02:00,752
And because
when your average mortal
44
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,821
starts bringing home presents
to his wife,
45
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,856
and there's no occasion,
46
00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:07,892
believe me,
there's been an occasion.
47
00:02:07,893 --> 00:02:12,230
You have a very suspicious mind.
48
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:15,232
Oh-ho-ho!
Your naivet? is sick-making.
49
00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,902
Or are you living on
fabrications just as they do?
50
00:02:17,903 --> 00:02:20,271
No, I'm not.
51
00:02:20,272 --> 00:02:22,173
Darrin is not
your average mortal.
52
00:02:22,174 --> 00:02:24,275
He doesn't tell lies.
53
00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:27,278
Nonsense, they're all the same.
54
00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:30,848
Every one of them,
including your precious Durwood.
55
00:02:30,849 --> 00:02:34,085
Why, I wager...
56
00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:36,754
Yes?
57
00:02:36,755 --> 00:02:41,493
I just remembered
something urgent I have to do.
58
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,328
I won't be long.
59
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,262
Well, take your time.
60
00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:55,807
Oh.
61
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:59,510
Love is blind.
62
00:03:00,679 --> 00:03:02,012
Oh, well.
63
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:08,920
[NARRATOR READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]
64
00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:21,399
[
]
65
00:03:45,857 --> 00:03:47,825
[
]
66
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:05,476
Good morning, Betty.
Good morning, Mr. Stephens.
67
00:04:05,477 --> 00:04:07,545
Oh, Betty, I wanna show you
68
00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:09,346
a little gift I bought
for Mrs. Stephens.
69
00:04:09,347 --> 00:04:10,715
Oh, what's the occasion?
70
00:04:10,716 --> 00:04:11,916
Oh, no occasion.
71
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,651
Just like that?
72
00:04:13,652 --> 00:04:15,420
Aren't you sweet.
73
00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:18,723
She happens to be crazy
about unicorns.
74
00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:20,391
Unicorns?
75
00:04:20,392 --> 00:04:22,093
Right. It's her favorite animal.
76
00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:24,129
Unicorns?
77
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,864
Um, a mythical favorite.
78
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:29,667
Anyway, I found this
in an antique store,
79
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:32,336
and I can't wait
to give it to her.
80
00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:38,076
Upon that unicorn I put my spell.
81
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:41,212
Approach itAnd the truth you'll tell.
82
00:04:41,213 --> 00:04:43,781
Step backAnd once again you'll speak.
83
00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:47,886
Those lies so dearTo mortals weak
84
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,624
I wish my boyfriend
were like you.
85
00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:56,795
Especially I wish
he were married like you, to me.
86
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,430
Do you know
how long we've been engaged?
87
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:02,099
Eight years. It's a disgrace.
88
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,601
Oh, it's lovely.
89
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,338
Hm.
90
00:05:07,339 --> 00:05:09,540
Eight years, huh?
91
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:11,776
Has your boyfriend
ever seen you in that dress?
92
00:05:11,777 --> 00:05:13,778
I beg your pardon.
93
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:15,346
Yes, sir.
94
00:05:15,347 --> 00:05:18,149
That's some tight dress,
is what it is.
95
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:23,621
Uh...
96
00:05:23,622 --> 00:05:26,124
I-I'm sorry if I'm wearing
something that's inappropriate.
97
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:31,996
Inappropriate?
No, no, uh, not at all.
98
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:34,232
It's a charming dress, Betty,
99
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,835
and I have no right
to be so personal.
100
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,703
[
]
101
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,943
I don't mind your being
personal, Mr. Stephens.
102
00:05:45,944 --> 00:05:49,180
To tell the truth, I wore
this dress especially for you.
103
00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:50,614
I hoped it'd get to you.
104
00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:53,551
It's two sizes too small,
and I thought it would be nice
105
00:05:53,552 --> 00:05:56,020
if you noticed I was a woman,
just once.
106
00:05:59,524 --> 00:06:02,927
Mr. Stephens, I...
I was only kidding, really.
107
00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:05,169
I don't know
what made me say that.
108
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,232
Yeah, well, that makes us even.
109
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,234
[PHONE RINGS]
110
00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:14,071
Mr. Stephens' office.
111
00:06:14,072 --> 00:06:16,674
Yes, sir, I'll...
I'll ask him.
112
00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:19,510
It's Mr. Tate. He wants to know
if you've come up with anything
113
00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:21,312
on the
Cora May Sportswear account.
114
00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:25,383
Yes, I've come up with
a beautiful case of indigestion.
115
00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,154
Uh, hi, Larry.
116
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:33,057
The answer is no,
I haven't come up with a thing.
117
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,393
No, no, no, no, no.
Hear me out.
118
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,393
In view of the fact
119
00:06:36,394 --> 00:06:38,462
that you gave
everybody else in the office
120
00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:41,532
a chance at losing that account
before you gave it to me,
121
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,835
and considering the fact
that I've been on the account
122
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:46,337
for exactly 24 hours, I think
you've got a lot of nerve
123
00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:48,305
expecting me to perform
miracles.
124
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:49,373
Yes?
125
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:52,844
Oh, good.
126
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,079
[PHONE CLICKS]
127
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,948
I can tell you this
to your face.
128
00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,416
You spent a year
129
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,953
running the Cora May account
into the ground, and...
130
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,922
And...
131
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:08,092
And, uh, uh,
no one in my time or memory
132
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:11,862
has ever put up a more valiant
struggle to save a sinking ship.
133
00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:14,532
Is this some kind of a joke?
134
00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:17,501
Oh, I knew I could rely
on your sense of humor, Larry.
135
00:07:17,502 --> 00:07:18,702
[CHUCKLES]
136
00:07:18,703 --> 00:07:22,240
It's a pretty dumb joke,
if you ask me.
137
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,409
Yeah, I guess it was.
138
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,477
What's bugging you this morning?
139
00:07:26,478 --> 00:07:28,313
I gave you
the sportswear account
140
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,114
because I thought
it would be a challenge.
141
00:07:30,115 --> 00:07:31,582
[MAGIC DINGS]
142
00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:33,218
And I wanted no part of it.
143
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,085
She's a miserable lady.
144
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:36,955
I hate doing business
with women, anyway.
145
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,890
It's a marginal product,
and I have no intention
146
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,392
of knocking myself out.
147
00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:44,528
Besides, I'm king of the hill
in this agency.
148
00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:47,065
That's the way things are.
149
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:50,134
Right, Larry. Sure.
150
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:51,936
I hope you'll be
in a better mood tonight.
151
00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:54,806
Oh, don't worry,
I'll be a good boy.
152
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,373
Good.
153
00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:58,676
[MAGIC DINGS]
154
00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:00,745
[CHUCKLES]
155
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,379
I didn't really mean
all that stuff
156
00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:03,981
about the king of the hill.
157
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:07,151
It's just that, if anyone
can land that account,
158
00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:08,452
you can.
159
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:09,754
See you tonight.
160
00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:11,822
I'll, uh, be
looking forward to it.
161
00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:13,824
[
]
162
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,826
[MAGIC NOISE]
163
00:08:16,695 --> 00:08:18,062
Big shot.
164
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:19,964
[DOORBELL RINGS]
165
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:23,100
I'm coming, I'm coming.
166
00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:24,401
How do you do, madam?
167
00:08:24,402 --> 00:08:26,370
Do you believe in magic?
Probably not.
168
00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:28,006
But I'm sure you'll agree
169
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,274
that anything that makes
housecleaning a pleasure
170
00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:31,275
has to be magic.
171
00:08:31,276 --> 00:08:33,610
Well, I'm terribly sorry, but...
172
00:08:33,611 --> 00:08:36,147
Think of what you can do
with the time you save.
173
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,182
I tell you,
the Mindmaster Vacuum Cleaner
174
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,984
is sweeping the country.
175
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:41,485
"Sweeping the country," get it?
176
00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:43,721
[LAUGHING] I get it.
177
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:46,257
Just a minute, buddy.
I was here first.
178
00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:47,658
It's my husband.
179
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:49,327
Oh, how do you do, sir?
180
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,663
I was just telling the little
lady what a great little...
181
00:08:52,664 --> 00:08:54,265
[MAGIC NOISE]
182
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:56,067
What a dog
this vacuum cleaner is.
183
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,369
I mean, that's what
I should have been telling her.
184
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:01,739
I take it you're not interested.
185
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,374
Sorry.
186
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,743
Well, you can't win 'em all.
187
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,546
With this dud,
I can't seem to win any of them.
188
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,582
What got into him?
189
00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:13,284
Can't imagine.
190
00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:14,752
Well, I suppose
there comes a time
191
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:17,193
when a man just
can't hack it anymore.
192
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:22,160
What kind of a kiss
do you call that?
193
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,461
A cautious kiss.
194
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:26,663
I didn't feel
like getting a roller in my eye.
195
00:09:26,664 --> 00:09:30,268
Oh, sweetheart,
I... I'm sorry.
196
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,903
I just finished
putting up my hair,
197
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,704
when that pest arrived.
Do you mind?
198
00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:37,074
Of course I do. All men do.
199
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:40,177
If women just realized
how ridiculous and unfeminine
200
00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:42,380
they looked with all that
hardware in their hair...
201
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,382
You want me to look pretty,
don't you?
202
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,183
Well, look at it this way.
203
00:09:46,184 --> 00:09:48,920
How would you feel if I came
tripping down the stairs,
204
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,487
with shaving cream
all over my face,
205
00:09:50,488 --> 00:09:52,056
and offered you
my forehead to kiss?
206
00:09:52,057 --> 00:09:53,724
Darrin.
207
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:56,427
Well, I wouldn't be
at my most attractive, would I?
208
00:09:56,428 --> 00:09:58,796
Well, no, you're not right now.
209
00:09:58,797 --> 00:10:01,933
I think his honesty
is very refreshing.
210
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,234
Thank you.
211
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,403
If the sight of me
is so distressing,
212
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,804
I'll just go back upstairs.
213
00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:08,572
Sam.
214
00:10:08,573 --> 00:10:11,508
Endora, there are lots of things
I don't need right now,
215
00:10:11,509 --> 00:10:12,910
and you're on the top
of the list.
216
00:10:12,911 --> 00:10:14,111
[LAUGHS]
217
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,680
SAM: Mother, dear?
Hm?
218
00:10:16,681 --> 00:10:19,283
You still find
his honesty refreshing?
219
00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:20,451
Mm-hm.
220
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:23,353
Oh, sweetheart,
here's that surprise
221
00:10:23,354 --> 00:10:24,655
I told you about this morning.
222
00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:27,091
Oh.
223
00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:28,492
[GASPS]
224
00:10:28,493 --> 00:10:31,929
Oh, Darrin, it's beautiful.
Mother, look.
225
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:35,299
Oh, isn't it lovely?
226
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,136
Who picked it out for you,
Durwood?
227
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,937
Oh, oh.
228
00:10:39,938 --> 00:10:40,904
[CHUCKLES]
229
00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:42,406
Let's see,
it isn't your birthday,
230
00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:43,874
it isn't your anniversary.
231
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:46,910
So there's only one explanation.
232
00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:49,113
Durwood has a guilty conscience.
233
00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:52,517
Oh, Mother.
Stop being yourself.
234
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:55,353
That's like asking
Niagara to fall up.
235
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,623
All right, all right.
Mother, bye-bye.
236
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,724
Earlier, I couldn't help
but overhear
237
00:11:00,725 --> 00:11:03,661
that you were having
a little, uh, dinner party?
238
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:06,430
So why don't you two run up
and get dressed?
239
00:11:06,431 --> 00:11:08,365
I hope you have
a lovely evening.
240
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:09,767
Thank you, Mother.
241
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:12,203
ENDORA: Don't worry
about your mother.
242
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:15,006
I'll find something to eat,
someplace.
243
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,674
Okay, fine.
244
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,445
Darrin, don't make Mother angry.
245
00:11:21,446 --> 00:11:24,514
She's very difficult
when she gets angry.
246
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:27,384
Since when does she have to be
angry to be difficult?
247
00:11:27,385 --> 00:11:29,553
You're right, Durweed.
248
00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:33,157
I don't have to be angry
to be difficult.
249
00:11:33,158 --> 00:11:34,292
But it helps.
250
00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:40,264
Oh, Darrin, when are you going
to learn that Mother knows best?
251
00:11:40,265 --> 00:11:43,601
Hm?
And what Mother knows best
252
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,003
is how to be difficult.
253
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:56,947
Well, so far so good.
254
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:59,683
It's possible that your mother
has come to understand
255
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,886
that you cannot mix in-laws
with business dinners.
256
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,653
Mm-hm. It's possible.
257
00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:06,023
It's also possible
that it don't rain
258
00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:07,892
in Indianapolis
in the summertime.
259
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:08,959
Sam.
260
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,827
Well...
261
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:15,233
You talk about women's lib.
Why, to me, it's laughable.
262
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,734
Any woman worth her salt
can make it
263
00:12:17,735 --> 00:12:19,503
if she has the will
and the talent.
264
00:12:19,504 --> 00:12:24,441
Why, I started my own company
at the age of 25.
265
00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:28,579
Is that right?
My, that's really impressive.
266
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:31,215
Ha, ha. You must be very proud
of you wife, Mr. Franklin.
267
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:37,288
Hm? Oh, yes, indeed.
She's quite, eh, remarkable.
268
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,156
Thank you, dear.
269
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,258
You're slouching.
270
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:43,860
Oh, speaking of business,
271
00:12:43,861 --> 00:12:46,163
I think you should
know that we at McMann & Tate
272
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:49,900
consider Stephens to be
our number-one creative talent.
273
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:54,772
Tate, don't you think
you're being a little outr??
274
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,341
I am?
275
00:12:58,643 --> 00:12:59,910
Where?
276
00:12:59,911 --> 00:13:03,314
I mean, if we're going to
discuss business,
277
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:06,450
wouldn't it be more civilized
to wait till we've had a drink?
278
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,119
DARRIN:
Well, here are the drinks.
279
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,655
Good, ha, ha, ha.
Now we can discuss business.
280
00:13:11,656 --> 00:13:14,024
[LAUGHTER]
281
00:13:14,025 --> 00:13:15,959
Here you are, Larry.
Oh, thank you.
282
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,895
Uh, Darrin, do you know
what Cora May was telling me?
283
00:13:18,896 --> 00:13:20,197
What?
284
00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:23,467
She started her own company
when she was only 25.
285
00:13:23,468 --> 00:13:26,970
Really? Well, that makes it
a very young company.
286
00:13:26,971 --> 00:13:30,908
Oh, ho, ho!
I see your plan, you old fox.
287
00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:33,143
You've assigned
the charmer on your staff
288
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:37,814
to my account, haven't you?
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
289
00:13:37,815 --> 00:13:40,917
Don't you try to con me
with flattery,
290
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:42,786
because you'll be
wasting your time.
291
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:45,990
I am interested in one thing
and one thing only,
292
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,659
and that is results.
Right, Walter?
293
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:53,297
Right, made 25 years of age.
Isn't that remarkable?
294
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:55,499
You haven't even been listening.
295
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,234
Yes, I have, dear.
What did you say?
296
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:58,735
I s...
297
00:13:59,537 --> 00:14:00,938
Here we are.
298
00:14:00,939 --> 00:14:04,342
She comes in beautyLike the night.
299
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,876
Bearing tidbitsFrom Olympian heights
300
00:14:05,877 --> 00:14:07,110
[ALL LAUGH]
301
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:08,879
My goodness.
302
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,582
You better save your poetry
until you've tasted those.
303
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,150
Speaking of poetry,
304
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:17,254
I had a great idea today
for a slogan for my dress line.
305
00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:20,024
I'll give it to you gentlemen,
for nothing.
306
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,126
Great, Cora May. Let's hear it.
307
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:24,462
Ready? Heh-heh! Walter.
308
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:25,596
Whatever you say, dear.
309
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:27,965
Well, I haven't
said anything yet.
310
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:31,135
Oh, what's the slogan,
Mrs. Franklin?
311
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:35,473
Well, it goes like this.
312
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,876
Confucius say,
"Don't be messy-messy,
313
00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:42,413
buy a Cora May dressy-wessy."
314
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,682
[LAUGHS]
315
00:14:46,884 --> 00:14:49,754
Oh, that's... cute.
316
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,256
[CHUCKLES]
317
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:56,394
Yeah. That's great, Cora May.
318
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,196
We'd never have thought of it.
Darrin, make a note of that.
319
00:14:59,197 --> 00:15:01,498
We'd better discuss it
at the meeting tomorrow.
320
00:15:01,499 --> 00:15:03,500
DARRIN: Oh, I don't have
to make a note of that,
321
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,669
because I couldn't
possibly forget it.
322
00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:06,737
[MAGIC NOISE]
323
00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:10,541
But, in truth, I must admit,
324
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,076
it's very forgettable.
325
00:15:13,177 --> 00:15:15,913
What was that you said?
326
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,081
Well, I mean,
327
00:15:18,082 --> 00:15:21,619
"messy-messy," "dressy-wessy."
Heh, heh.
328
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,186
You were kidding, weren't you?
329
00:15:23,187 --> 00:15:27,591
Darrin, you must admit,
it's pretty catchy.
330
00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:29,993
Oh, re... Relax, Larry.
331
00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:32,496
I know the Cora May account
is a pet of yours.
332
00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,699
That's the reason
you should be truthful.
333
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,300
That's right, Darrin.
334
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:39,403
Cora May's account
is very important to me.
335
00:15:39,404 --> 00:15:41,572
Let's not forget it.
336
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,373
[MAGIC NOISE]
Let's also not forget
337
00:15:43,374 --> 00:15:46,944
if anybody laughs at my pet
accounts, it's going to be me.
338
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:49,447
"Dressy-wessy."
Oh, boy.
339
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,282
[BOTH LAUGH]
340
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,753
Larry. Darrin.
341
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,389
Hey, now, come on,
stop clowning around.
342
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:02,159
Mrs. Franklin's
apt to take you seriously.
343
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,960
[BOTH LAUGHING]
344
00:16:03,961 --> 00:16:06,297
[MAGIC NOISE]
345
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,432
Stop teasing Mrs. Franklin.
346
00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:10,401
They always do this
with a new account.
347
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:13,070
It's sort of
a little game they play.
348
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:15,939
They must lose
quite a few accounts that way.
349
00:16:17,342 --> 00:16:19,777
Uh. Rarely, rarely.
350
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:22,613
They're very careful to do it
only with a client
351
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:25,783
they know
has a terrific sense of humor.
352
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:32,155
Oh. Well, that's one thing
you can say about me
353
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:35,025
with... With no fear
of contradiction.
354
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:37,661
Right, Walter?
355
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,497
WALTER:
You're absolutely right, dear.
356
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,198
A sense of humor has...
357
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:45,101
Has always been an important
ingredient in my success.
358
00:16:45,102 --> 00:16:48,439
Why, I-I could always laugh
at misfortune
359
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,808
in those...
Those grim days
360
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:55,946
when I was pulling myself
up the ladder, rung by rung.
361
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:58,782
I worked my way up
in the dress business, until...
362
00:16:58,783 --> 00:17:00,384
[MAGIC NOISE]
363
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:03,220
Why don't you knock it off,
Cora May?
364
00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:08,325
What did you say, dear?
365
00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:11,628
You didn't work your way
into the dress business.
366
00:17:11,629 --> 00:17:13,831
You were kicked into it,
by your father
367
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:17,368
who gave you $25,000
to leave home.
368
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:21,138
Walter,
how can you talk like that?
369
00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:24,141
Easy, dear,
because it's the truth.
370
00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:25,876
But... But... But...
371
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:28,645
I have had it up to here,
Cora May,
372
00:17:28,646 --> 00:17:31,048
with that Horatio Alger bit
of yours.
373
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,149
Walter!
374
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:37,388
Uh, Mrs. Franklin,
suppose we get back to business?
375
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:40,857
A... B... Yes, I...
376
00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:45,062
I think business is the only
safe subject we can discuss.
377
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,062
Right.
378
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:47,731
Wrong.
379
00:17:47,732 --> 00:17:50,500
For years I have been clamming
up while she sounded off
380
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,536
about being
the great career woman,
381
00:17:52,537 --> 00:17:55,272
playing "I Love Me"
on her big fat trombone.
382
00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:59,577
And, Cora May, don't you ever
jab me in the ribs again.
383
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,248
Do you have anything else
to say, dear?
384
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,517
Yes, something I've been wanting
to say for a long time.
385
00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:10,253
When you put "career"
in front of "woman,"
386
00:18:10,254 --> 00:18:13,256
a large part
of the woman disappears.
387
00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:16,093
There's more,
but that'll do for starters.
388
00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:18,462
Well. Uh.
389
00:18:19,664 --> 00:18:23,166
I think I'll, uh, check my roast
390
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:26,437
while, uh, Darrin
changes the subject.
391
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,138
[MAGIC NOISE]
392
00:18:28,139 --> 00:18:30,774
[CLEARS THROAT]
393
00:18:30,775 --> 00:18:34,445
H... Hasn't it been warm?
Lately.
394
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:38,449
Mother.
395
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,919
I know you're behind this.
396
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,354
I also know
what you're trying to prove.
397
00:18:44,355 --> 00:18:46,356
And if it'll make you
feel any better,
398
00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:49,292
you have proven your point.
399
00:18:49,293 --> 00:18:52,095
You're creating
a disaster out there.
400
00:18:58,302 --> 00:19:00,003
"You were right.
401
00:19:00,004 --> 00:19:02,739
Mother knows best.
Message enclosed."
402
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,007
Oh!
403
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,814
"You ain't seen nothing yet."
404
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:18,956
Mrs. Franklin,
I have a great deal of respect
405
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,392
for your judgment
regarding your advertising,
406
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:24,094
and I'm certainly willing
to exchange campaign ideas.
407
00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:25,796
[MAGIC NOISE]
408
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:28,232
Except when you start
throwing around nonsense
409
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,235
like "dressy-wessy."
Oh, no.
410
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,769
Darrin, have you gone bananas?
411
00:19:32,770 --> 00:19:35,940
Not at all. I think a little
frankness is a healthy thing.
412
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,508
It's also stupid.
Oh, dear.
413
00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:40,610
[MAGIC NOISE] I don't think so.
414
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:43,314
It's time somebody
leveled with Cora May.
415
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,950
Oh, boy.
And, Cora May,
416
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,618
it's time you listened
for a change.
417
00:19:48,619 --> 00:19:51,355
Oh, surely, you don't mean
what you're saying,
418
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,290
Mr. Franklin.
419
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:56,827
You never talked to me like that
in your whole life.
420
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,530
Well, you never shut up
long enough for me to.
421
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:00,831
[LAUGHS]
422
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,567
You know, they say this kind
of a constructive argument
423
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,936
is very healthy for a marriage.
424
00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:07,237
Mrs. Franklin,
425
00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:09,506
it might be a good idea
if you listen to your husband
426
00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:12,042
and then to your advertising
representatives.
427
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:15,679
Keep going, my boy,
you're making lots of sense.
428
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,714
Never says a word.
429
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:20,617
All of a sudden,
can't shut him up.
430
00:20:20,618 --> 00:20:23,954
Walter, I have waited for years
431
00:20:23,955 --> 00:20:28,826
for you to stop being
the suffering, silent martyr.
432
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:31,161
I must say, you picked
a beautiful time
433
00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:33,163
to turn yourself on.
434
00:20:33,164 --> 00:20:36,033
Well, I am liberated, Cora May.
435
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,835
Mrs. Franklin, I'm not through...
436
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:41,038
Darrin, couldn't we discuss this
at dinner?
437
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,106
Is dinner ready?
438
00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:47,711
No. But I thought
the dining room might be safer.
439
00:20:47,712 --> 00:20:50,114
I think Samantha's
absolutely right.
440
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,015
We should postpone
this discussion until...
441
00:20:52,016 --> 00:20:53,016
[MAGIC NOISE]
442
00:20:53,017 --> 00:20:54,752
Until right now.
443
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:58,121
Darrin, there are many ways
of handling clients.
444
00:20:58,122 --> 00:20:59,923
And this isn't any of them.
445
00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:03,160
Cora May, we don't tell you
how to make your dresses.
446
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:07,097
And we don't want you telling us
how to handle your advertising.
447
00:21:07,098 --> 00:21:08,732
[MOUTHED SPEECH]
448
00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:12,135
Well, why aren't you laughing,
Cora May?
449
00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:14,404
What happened to that
sense of humor of yours
450
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:16,940
that got you through
those dark days
451
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:19,381
when you were
climbing the ladder?
452
00:21:20,945 --> 00:21:22,946
Mrs. Franklin,
if you would just leave
453
00:21:22,947 --> 00:21:25,882
the creative side of advertising
in our capable hands...
454
00:21:25,883 --> 00:21:28,318
Darrin, why don't you let Larry
455
00:21:28,319 --> 00:21:30,420
tell Mrs. Franklin
where to get off?
456
00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:31,755
He's the boss.
457
00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:34,792
Sweetheart,
would you mind butting out?
458
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:35,726
Well!
459
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,561
Darrin, you stop
picking on your wife.
460
00:21:38,562 --> 00:21:40,597
She's a nice, lovely,
charming lady.
461
00:21:40,598 --> 00:21:41,865
Right.
462
00:21:41,866 --> 00:21:45,201
For heaven's sakes, Walter,
turn it off.
463
00:21:45,202 --> 00:21:48,605
Where are your manners?
You're a guest in this house.
464
00:21:48,606 --> 00:21:52,976
Oh, Mrs. Franklin,
don't worry about that. I mean...
465
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,444
I'm not finished yet.
466
00:21:54,445 --> 00:21:57,948
Neither am I.
I have a lot to say.
467
00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:01,585
Cora May, why don't you
just keep quiet for a change?
468
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:04,321
Just who do you think
you're talking to?
469
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,223
Me.
He was talking to me.
470
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:10,160
No, I was talking to my wife,
and I am not finished yet.
471
00:22:10,161 --> 00:22:12,929
I believe
I was doing the talking.
472
00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:14,998
You were, you were.
473
00:22:14,999 --> 00:22:19,336
Please, couldn't I interest
anyone in some rare roast pork?
474
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:21,504
I am going to finished
what I have to say...
475
00:22:21,505 --> 00:22:22,639
Cora May...
476
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,175
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
477
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,515
[
]
478
00:22:44,829 --> 00:22:47,965
Darrin? Oh, excuse me.
479
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,700
What would you like
for breakfast?
480
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,435
Dinner.
481
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,670
Well, it's all still in there,
482
00:22:53,671 --> 00:22:55,773
and it's not rare anymore.
483
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,340
Forget it.
484
00:22:57,341 --> 00:22:59,342
I wish I could forget
the whole evening.
485
00:22:59,343 --> 00:23:01,111
Did you get in touch
with your mother?
486
00:23:01,112 --> 00:23:02,211
Mm-hm.
487
00:23:02,212 --> 00:23:05,115
Finally. And got a confession.
488
00:23:05,116 --> 00:23:08,418
Here's the culprit.
Mother put a truth spell on it.
489
00:23:08,419 --> 00:23:10,620
She wanted to prove
that mortals can't stand
490
00:23:10,621 --> 00:23:12,522
to tell the truth
to one another.
491
00:23:12,523 --> 00:23:14,691
Well, this mortal can stand
telling the truth.
492
00:23:14,692 --> 00:23:16,593
[MAGIC NOISE]
493
00:23:16,594 --> 00:23:21,264
Your mother pulled a low,
sneaky, mean, underhanded trick.
494
00:23:21,265 --> 00:23:22,999
How's that for the truth?
495
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,668
[DOORBELL RINGS]
496
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,136
I'll get it.
497
00:23:29,841 --> 00:23:31,809
Oh, Larry.
Good morning, Samantha.
498
00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:34,144
Lovely dinner.
499
00:23:34,145 --> 00:23:36,780
Well, it's all still out there,
if you want some.
500
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:38,448
Hi, Darrin.
Hi.
501
00:23:38,449 --> 00:23:40,184
I just dropped by
to let you know
502
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,085
I was practically up all night
503
00:23:42,086 --> 00:23:45,088
trying to calm down
Cora May and her husband.
504
00:23:45,089 --> 00:23:48,325
With a lot of smooth talk,
and a little infighting,
505
00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:50,527
I managed
to salvage the account.
506
00:23:50,528 --> 00:23:52,462
But I do think you owe her
an apology.
507
00:23:52,463 --> 00:23:54,764
Well, Larry, I...
Darrin.
508
00:23:54,765 --> 00:23:56,934
There's no need
for him to apologize.
509
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,969
You'll just have to get along
without one.
510
00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:01,839
Maybe I can get along
without him at the office too.
511
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,740
Well, Larry,
if that's the way you feel,
512
00:24:03,741 --> 00:24:05,008
go ahead and try it.
513
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:06,576
You've got a deal.
514
00:24:06,577 --> 00:24:07,978
[MAGIC NOISE]
515
00:24:07,979 --> 00:24:10,480
That's the worst deal
I ever made in my life.
516
00:24:10,481 --> 00:24:12,849
I need you at the office,
Darrin, you know that.
517
00:24:12,850 --> 00:24:15,318
I can't get along without you.
518
00:24:15,319 --> 00:24:18,021
SAMANTHA: Oh, isn't it
nice to hear the truth?
519
00:24:18,022 --> 00:24:20,224
What about
Mr. and Mrs. Franklin?
520
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,359
Actually, I wasn't
up with them last night.
521
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,695
Cora May called me this morning.
522
00:24:24,696 --> 00:24:28,264
It seems that they continued
that donnybrook they were having
523
00:24:28,265 --> 00:24:30,901
and cleared up
a lot of old misunderstandings.
524
00:24:30,902 --> 00:24:32,235
They're happy as larks.
525
00:24:32,236 --> 00:24:34,538
Actually, Larry, everything
turned out beautifully.
526
00:24:34,539 --> 00:24:36,205
I guess so.
527
00:24:36,206 --> 00:24:39,709
Heh, heh.
I can't wait to tell Mother.
528
00:24:39,710 --> 00:24:41,310
Mother?
529
00:24:41,311 --> 00:24:43,446
Yeah, she just
loves happy endings.
530
00:24:43,447 --> 00:24:45,248
Oh.
531
00:24:45,249 --> 00:24:48,418
Well, I'll see you later
at the office, Darrin.
532
00:24:48,419 --> 00:24:50,420
[MAGIC NOISE]
533
00:24:53,257 --> 00:24:54,591
[SIGHS]
534
00:24:54,592 --> 00:24:57,895
This little fellow really works,
doesn't he?
535
00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,763
Let me give it a test.
536
00:24:59,764 --> 00:25:01,932
[MAGIC NOISE]
537
00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:06,636
Honey, you're beautiful,
sweet, clever, adorable,
538
00:25:06,637 --> 00:25:08,071
and I love you madly.
539
00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:10,273
It works.
540
00:25:10,274 --> 00:25:12,909
Well, it doesn't work on me,
541
00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:14,177
but I love you.
542
00:25:14,178 --> 00:25:18,114
And that is the truth,
the whole truth
543
00:25:18,115 --> 00:25:19,416
and... et cetera.
544
00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:21,251
[
]
545
00:25:27,225 --> 00:25:29,259
[
]
546
00:25:29,309 --> 00:25:33,859
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