All language subtitles for Bewitched s04e21 Hippie, Hippie, Hooray.eng

Oh, my stars.

"The Purple Panthers,
a motorcycle gang...

...invaded a peaceful love-in
last night at Union Park...

...causing a riot.

-When the police arrived--"
-Coffee ready?

All poured.

-I'll get the toast.
-Just coffee this morning, honey.

I can't figure this one out.

-What, dear?
-It's supposed to be a picture...

...of some trouble at a love-in.

Well, maybe it was out of sight.

May I have my paper, please?

Oh, never mind. I'm late anyhow.

-Bye, hon.
-Bye-bye, sweetheart.

Bye.

Was this trip necessary?

Yes. And it's just a local stop
on your way back...

...to your freak-out in Soho.

Sam, why are you bugging me?

I was having a perfectly
groovy time in jail.

I know.

I was leading my cellmates
in a love chant.

Serena, I read all about
your escapades in the paper.

And if it hadn't been for a little artful
dodging, Darrin would have too.

-So?
-Well....

It's just that Darrin's a little
old-fashioned about some things.

But, Sammy, I'm preaching one of
the most old-fashioned things around.

Love, love, love.

Hi.

Hi, Auntie Serena.

Tabatha, sweetie.

Sammy, she misses me.

Auntie Serena play music?

Of course Auntie Serena
will play for you.

Not now, Serena.

Why don't you come back
a little later...

...say, about 10 years later?

It's a good thing
I know you're kidding.

Come on, Tabatha.

Auntie Serena will teach you
a little "Rock-a-Bye Baby"...

...to a rock-'n'-roll beat.

Louise?

How long is it
since you've seen Samantha?

Oh, gosh, about a month.

In fact, I was thinking of calling
to find out what she's been up to.

I think I can tell you.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

-I can't believe it.
-Well, neither can I.

-That can't be Samantha.
-No? Then who is it?

You will never convince me
that one of my best friends...

...if not my very best friend...

-...has suddenly become a hippie.
-Not so suddenly.

You said you hadn't
seen her for a month.

A person can't change
their entire character in a month.

Really? You changed yours
in a day.

-What?
-The day we got married.

Do you have any idea
what this kind of publicity...

...could cost McMann & Tate?

Larry, it's all right if you make
a fool of yourself in front of me.

I married you,
for better or for worse.

But promise me
you won't say a word to Darrin.

Are you kidding?
Give me credit for a little sense.

-Good morning.
-Morning.

-How's Samantha?
-Fine.

Good.

It's been so long since Louise
and I have seen you and Sam...

...I wondered if you'd like to get
together for a little bridge tonight.

At your place.

You're invited.

Fine.

Now, can we discuss
the Giddings Tractor account?

-Tomorrow.
-But Giddings is coming in tomorrow.

I wanna know
if I'm handling his account.

I said, tomorrow.

Now, let's not talk business
during office hours.

Bye-bye. See you tonight.

-Why did he have to pick tonight?
-I don't know.

He kind of invited himself.
I didn't know how to get out of it.

Well, sweetheart, I love
having them. It's just that....

Well, tonight's a little awkward.

Why? Did you ask someone else?

Cute, huh?

Serena!

You called, O square one?

What are you doing here?

-She was singing Tabatha a lullaby.
-That's a lullaby?!

Number one on the charts.
Where you been?

I'll tell you where.
I've been under the impression...

...it was clear
you're not welcome in this house.

-Watch it, sweetheart.
-No, I'll handle this.

As far as Tabatha's concerned,
I forbid you to sing...

-...your so-called lullaby.
-Cousin-in-law...

...when you use words
like "forbid" to me, smile.

I was perfectly happy cooling it
in the cooler till Sam zapped me out.

You were what?

It isn't important, sweetheart.

Don't put me down, coz.
It was important enough...

...for my picture to be
on the front page of the paper.

Now I get it.

"Riot at love-in."

You zapped her picture out
of the paper this morning.

Well, I didn't want you to worry,
sweetheart.

And that explains Larry.
He must've seen that picture too.

He thought it was you. No wonder
he kept asking, "How's Samantha?"

And that kook laughs.

-What did you call me?
-Kook!

Sammy, does Tabatha
like artichokes?

-Now, Serena--
-Tell him he's going too far, Sammy.

Darrin, you're going too far.

I'll go even farther by suggesting
that you go a little farther.

Like back where you flew from.

-Someday you'll say you're sorry.
-Oh, Serena, he didn't mean it.

Oh, Darrin, I wish
you hadn't done that.

It worked, didn't it? She's gone.

But not for long.

-Hi, Louise, Larry.
-Hi, Samantha.

Hi.

Well, come on in. It's been too long.

Darrin's helping me fix some snacks.
We'll only be a moment.

-Let me have your coats.
-Thank you.

Fix yourselves a drink.

See how wrong you were, Larry?

-You were wrong. Admit it.
-Okay, I was wrong.

But you'll have to admit,
whoever it was sure looked like...

...Samantha.

Where have we seen that before?
Like in this morning's paper?

Sweetheart, there are mornings
when you don't get to read the paper.

This could've been
one of those for Larry.

So why bring it up
if it isn't necessary?

Why?

Well, what of it?
Lots of people have guitars.

Not many guitars have
all that psychotic paint on them.

That's "psychedelic."

Put it down.

Sam, Darrin, I was just wondering--

Before we start, why not watch
our Springer Pet Food commercial?

-It's on just after the news.
-Good idea.

Fine.

You don't have your drinks.
I'll get them.

How about the boys
playing the girls tonight, huh?

And for our final human
predicament...

...we switch our scene
to the county jail...

...where the elite of hippie society
is now in residence.

Hippies and the police have had
an active relationship in the past...

...but nothing quite
as active as today...

...when the high priestess
of the movement...

...did a vanishing act from the jail cell
that would have baffled Hou--

The darndest thing.

Samantha's cousin Serena
turned hippie.

Oh, her cousin, eh?

-We do look very much alike.
-Do you?

Deal.

Right. Five-card stud.
Jacks or better to open.

-Darrin, we're playing bridge.
-Oh, right.

They just look alike.

They always have looked alike.
They always will.

It's one of Mother Nature's
nasty tricks.

But Sam is Sam
and Serena is Serena.

And Sam couldn't be Serena
if she tried, and vice versa.

-I'd like to believe you, Darrin.
-Why would I lie to you?

If Louise turned hippie,
I'd lie to you.

And I'd understand. But in this case,
it just doesn't happen to be true.

Scout's honour?

That's a load off my mind.

And to show you what kind of a sport
I am for making a mistake...

...I accept your apology...

...if you'll accept mine.

Okay, joke's over. Mr. Giddings
will be here any minute.

Every man in the office
wants this account.

But you're gonna get it.
You know why?

-Why?
-Because you speak his language.

Language? I hope he isn't Italian.
I've been through that.

He's early American.
All the old-fashioned virtues.

Man of the soil,
all that nonsense.

It's probably him. Yes?

Mr. Giddings is waiting
in your office, Mr. Tate.

Thank you.

I'll go get him, set him up...

...then it's your bale of hay.
So start pitching.

Darrin, say howdy to Mr. Giddings.
Darrin Stephens.

-Howdy, sir.
-Howdy.

-Won't you sit down, sir?
-Thank you.

Tate here tells me that you
were brought up on a farm.

-That's right, sir.
-Good.

-Family man, I suppose.
-Indeed he is.

Darrin's married to a fine,
young early-American-type lady.

Bakes her own bread...

...right in the old stone hearth.

Home-baked bread?

Well, Mr. Stephens,
you're a very lucky man.

-Yes?
-Mr. Stephens...

...your wife is here
to join you for lunch.

My wife? I didn't have a date
with Samantha.

Just tell her to run along.

Since when does a wife have
to make a date with her husband?

I'd be mighty pleased
to have her go along.

Send her in.

Home-baked bread, huh?

Hi, sugar.

Pops.

This is a girl who bakes
her own bread?

Oh, now, cut that out.

-Mr. Giddings, Larry, this is--
-Have you flipped?

Since when do you have
to introduce me...

...to snow-white and handsome?

Stop it, Sam.

This is Mr. Giddings
of Giddings Tractor.

Giddings Tractor
and his Psychedelic Six.

Man, I play your records
all the time.

Tate, is she out of her mind?

Compliments will get you
everywhere, you old charmer.

Please, Serena.
This is no place for games.

You're making a fool of yourself.

He's blown his cool.
Always does when he's hungry.

Hey, listen, I know a groovy
little beanery...

...called the Double Bubble.

Cut it out, Sam. A joke's a joke.

She's not Sam. She's Serena.

Mr. Giddings,
what do you think of a man...

...who denies knowing
his own wife?

Well, under certain circumstances,
young lady, I can understand it.

Why are you doing it, Sam?

Man, that straight life can be
a drag.

A girl's got to have...

...her kicks.

Oh, for heaven sakes.

Mr. Giddings, I'm sorry. There's been
some terrible misunderstanding.

Come on. We'll go into my office....

-You--
-I told you, baby.

When you put the knock on love,
you asked for a mess of trouble.

Well, you're--

Where is she? Where is she?

-Sam, where are you?
-Sam?

Serena. She's gone. She left.

-I didn't see her go.
-She must've gone through the--

Why ask for answers
at a time like this?

No, you're right. Giddings
is out there trembling with rage.

Now tell me, how are we gonna
explain Sam to him? How? How?

-Larry, listen--
-I'm listening, I'm listening.

It's simple. We tell him the truth.

That that was Serena,
Sam's kooky cousin...

...and she has a very weird
sense of humour.

I didn't get to be head
of an advertising agency...

...without stretching the truth
now and then. I might honestly say...

...that I'm one of the best
truth-stretchers in the business.

But don't ask me to try to sell
a cockamamie story like that.

Larry, that girl that was in here
was Serena--

Remember, you're talking
to your best friend.

Sam is in bad shape.

Louise's cousin is a psychoanalyst.
Now, just let me give him a call.

Guess there's no sense in trying
to explain it to you, is there?

You just won't give up, will you?

-Larry, I'm sorry we lost the account--
-The account?

Who cares about the account?

It's you I care about.

You...

...and that poor little girl
who used to be Samantha.

-Larry--
-Darrin...

...why didn't you confide
in your old Uncle Lar?

Don't you know that Louise and I
are behind you 100 percent?

-Swell. Then come to dinner tonight.
-Dinner?

I'll have Samantha and Serena
together--

Darrin, will you please
stop this charade?

Humour me just one more time.

Please?

Please?

Of course.

You poor kid.

Serena.

Serena...

...will you come here?

I know you can hear me.

-It's no use.
-Sam, what am I going to do?

I promised Larry Serena.

I warned you.
She can be a stubborn girl.

Honey, I had no choice.
Larry was driving me crazy.

-I have it.
-What?

If the real thing won't come along,
I can always do this.

Serena.

Sam.

That's marvellous.
That is marvellous.

Except I can't be both of us
at the same time.

Larry and Louise.
But, Sam, the table's set for five.

What happens when the four of us
sit with the five of us?

I don't know. I'm a witch,
not a magician.

You go let them in.

-Yeah, I'll go let them in.
-Yes.

-Come on in, come on in.
-Hello, Darrin.

-Good evening.
-Hi, Louise, Larry.

-Let me take that, Louise.
-Oh, thank you, thank you.

-Here you are.
-Larry. All right.

Hi, beautiful people.

Hi.

You remember Louise Tate,
don't you, Serena?

-Oh, yeah, sure. Hi, Louise.
-Hi.

Congratulations, cotton-top.
You got a wild-looking chick there.

Serena, explain to Larry why you acted
the way you did this afternoon.

Oh, yeah. Well, you see,
my headshrinker...

...says that I have kind of
a compulsion for practical joking.

I don't know when to stop.

But I'm working on it, baby. And
don't you worry about Mr. Biddings.

-Giddings.
-Sorry, bubee.

Why don't you invite him over...

...and I'll explain
the whole silly mess?

Your witness.

I'd like to put you across my knee
and spank you.

But I'm so relieved that you're you
and she's she, I could kiss you.

-Groovy.
-Where's Samantha?

She's upstairs, taking care
of the little princess.

I'll go fetch her.

A remarkable resemblance.

Oh, I don't know. I think Sam's eyes
are set farther apart.

And I think her cheekbones
are higher.

Hi, everybody.

-Much higher. Hi, Samantha.
-Louise.

Where's your kooky cousin?

Oh, she's upstairs playing with Tabatha
while I check my groovy.

Gravy.

I rest my case.

Well, I think I'll go upstairs
and see Tabatha.

You can't. She's sleeping.

No, she's not. Samantha just said
Serena's playing with her.

Oh, that's right,
Serena's playing with her.

She's playing with her upstairs.

Oh, Larry, that Tabatha's
getting prettier every day.

Thank you. We're proud of her.

Thank you.

Well, I guess I ought to go
in the kitchen and help Samantha.

Oh, wait a minute, Lulu.

Don't walk out on the entertainment.

Sit down, everybody.
Make yourselves comfortable.

Larry, Louise.

I know a little ditty recorded
by the Belters...

...on the flip side of
America the Beautiful.

It's called "The Iffin' Song."

Well, gang, I think I'll go put on
a new face before dinner.

Pardon, cotton-top.

Be right back.

She's a real swinger, isn't she?

There's something very strange
going on in this house.

Yes, isn't she?

"Iffin'." She-- She.

Sam, where are you?

Okay, what now?

Well, now we'll just sit down
and have dinner.

Have dinner with who?
There are five place settings.

Doesn't it seem odd
Sam and Serena...

...are never in the room
at the same time?

-Larry, you don't think--
-The only question...

...is how does she get in and out
of her clothes so quickly?

Larry, your suspicions
are becoming an obsession.

I don't know how she does it,
but you watch:

Either Sam or Serena's going
to come down with a bad headache.

But only one of them will sit down
to dinner. You watch.

It's no use, honey.
We'll just have to tell them that....

That-- That what?

That Serena came down
with a fearful headache.

That Serena came down
with a fearful headache.

I hope they believe it.

Oh, Serena, am I ever sorry
I started with you.

Come on.

Larry, Louise, it's time
to sit down for dinner.

Larry here. Louise here.

Where's Serena?

I'm glad you asked that.
You see, Serena....

Serena's headache is all gone.

I really feel simply marvellous.

Sugar, that's all I wanted
to hear you say...

...that you were sorry.

I am, I am. And I'll never,
ever, ever do it again.

What did you do?

Now, Larry, every family
is entitled to its own little secrets.

Well, I'm so glad
we could all get together.

Oh, there, you see?

Love power conquers all.

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