All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s01e19 Variety.eng

Hello?

Mr. Adam?

Mr. Adam, it's me,
your landlord!

♪

(Adam)
No, guys, the industry calls them flushable wipes,

but they're straight-up
not flushable.

I mean, golf balls go down
the toilet too,

but you don't
call them flushable.

(sighs)

You know, Hayley loved it
when I taught her that.

You!

You're the one who's been
flushing these golf balls.

And are those pets?

(nervous chuckle)

(Rhea)
So much hair gel.

Thanks for helping move out.

This is the fourth time
you've been kicked out

of your apartment
in three months, Adam.

I know, there are, like,
so many systemic problems

in the housing market.
(chuckling)

I wouldn't quite say your
problem is systemic.

I mean, if you need
a place to crash--

No, I have money.

(change rattling)
I'm a big boy.

I'll find my own place today.

Adam, I'm happy to help.

I can do it myself.

Okay.

You know,
I have my own TV show.

Sure, yup.

It's called
"Adam Ruins Everything."

Closed Captions provided by
truTV

♪

Prepare to be dazzled, ladies.

This house just
came on the market.

(gasping)

Danielle, the energy in here.

I can feel it.

This is our home.

And outdoor spaces
are always in demand.

This place is
a great investment.

Mm-hmm.

No, it isn't.

Crap, competition.

Hi.

(women gasping)
Oh, hello, are you looking?

For a place
to live, yes, but--

Come to think of it,
I probably shouldn't buy.

And neither should you.

Fact is, a lot of people
who shop for homes

would actually be
better of renting.

What are you talking about?
I just got a promotion,

and Jen's sound healing
practice just got a customer.

Yes, his name is Wolfram.

Right, buying a house
is what you do.

It's the American dream.

Ah, yes, for almost a century,
Americans have been taught

that homeownership is the
ultimate middle class ideal.

Oh, Harold, our
very own little castle.

Isn't it grand?

Yes, freedom, stability,

and no one will know
I'm a queer. Oh!

But the fact is
for millions of us,

this is a dream
that's not worth chasing.

Please, buying a home
gives you freedom.

No, it doesn't.

When you rent, you can
move whenever you want.

But after you buy,
you're sorta stuck.

(phone ringing)

Ooh, a job that pays more money?

In Hawaii?

(chain rattling)

Sorry, I'm just really
tied down right now.

It's even been shown that higher
rates of homeownership

lead to higher unemployment
for exactly this reason.

You're forgetting that owning
a home makes financial sense.

I am sick of paying
rent to some landlord.

Yeah, instead you'll be paying
a mortgage to some bank.

How is that any different?

Well, let's see, I send you
a bill once a month.

I kick you out
if you don't pay and,

ah, I don't fix anything.

That's the difference.

You're gonna need this
when your heater explodes.

And I'm gonna use your can

considering I own it
for the next 30 years.

(chuckling)

Often, buying doesn't give you
any more stability than renting.

You're just paying
a different jerk.

And for the first few years,
you're not even building equity.

You're just paying off interest.

(whispering)
Excuse me. Oh!

Okay, hairball,
my name is Kheather Koke,

Licensed real estate agent.

And I've been in the business
upwards of months.

Buying a home is the best
investment you can make.

Yes, so they say.

Realtors and financial pundits
would have you believe

that if you don't buy a home,
you're an idiot.

Buy! Buy! Buy a home!

No money?! Buy one anyway!

If you don't buy a home,
that means you're a financial...

(sound byte)
F-F-F-Failure!

Oh, no, we gotta buy now,
the loud man said so!

But what they don't tell you
is that buying a house

can actually be
a really risky investment.

Hey!

Real financial experts recommend

that you always diversify,

splitting your money between

lots of different investments,

so if one of them goes south...

You don't lose everything.

But if you sink your
entire net worth

into one pile
of wood and nails

and the housing
market tanks...

(match strikes)
...like it did in '08,

you lose
everything.

No-no-no-no...

No-no-no-no, it's fine,
it's fine. (blowing)

2008 was a blip.

The housing market
always goes up on average.

Yeah? That's what
everyone says.

But it's not true.

One of the world's foremost
housing economists found that

when you adjust for inflation,
over the last century,

the housing market
hasn't risen at all.

Not to mention
the phantom costs.

Did somebody say phantom?

(gasping)

A presence.

A haunted house.

How charming...
adds value.

Phantom costs are the hidden
expenses of homeownership

we ignore when
we rush to buy.

You forgot about
home insurance.

And property taxes,
closing costs...

Repairs!

This house doesn't
need any repairs.

(cracking, loud crash)

Recessed lighting
is much more popular now.

In the first two years,
the average homeowner

spends more than
14 grand on improvements.

And that can more than wipe out
whatever little profit you make.

I'm gonna use this money
to take girls out on dates.

And then never reply
to their texts!

Uh, do you have
any other properties?

(woman sighing)
Adam's right.

(gasping)
For a lot of people,

buying a house is actually

a risky low-yield investment

that you have
to pay to maintain.

Spirits are
everywhere.

Oh, no, this is my friend
Ramit Sethi.

He's a personal finance expert

and a "New York Times"
best selling author.

(Ramit)
You know, the truth is, guys,

a lot of Americans actually
reduce their net worth

instead of increasing it
when they buy a house.

That's because they don't
factor in taxes, maintenance,

insurance, even
repairing a roof.

And that can put 'em behind
instead of ahead.

So, what, we should
just keep renting?

Maybe.

Renting is actually
a much better deal

than most people think.

A lot of people
are gonna tell you,

"You're throwing
money away on rent."

Don't listen to 'em.

Just think about it.

The landlord has
to take on all the risk.

If the price of the house goes
down, they're stuck with it.

If something breaks,
they have to fix it.

Meanwhile, you live
in that house.

You pay a nominal rent.

And if you need to pack up
and leave, you can do it.

Huh, you're making it sound
like an incredible deal.

Yeah, like, no one should
ever buy a house ever.

No, look, buying a house can
make sense for some people.

But just remember,

this is the biggest financial
decision of your life.

So, make sure
that you can afford it.

Make sure that
you can put 20% down.

And make sure you're gonna live
there for at least ten year.

And please, talk to a financial
expert before you buy.

Not a real estate agent.

That makes sense.

Maybe we should hold off.

Mm-hmm.

(gasping)
Ah, my face!

Get out!

Go get a rental
if you love them so much.

But I'm blacklisted by every
landlord in the city.

There was an incident
with some golf balls.

Go get an Airbnb,
for all I care.

I don't know you, dude.

Oh, yeah, and then
I can talk about

how Airbnb enables criminals
to run illegal hotel chains.

Thanks, this is
gonna be great.

(groans)
Oh!

(Adam whistling)

♪

♪

Ever wondered why the government

gives you a tax break
on your mortgage?

The fact is they probably
shouldn't.

(cash register rings. Cheering)

Every year the United States
government gives out nearly

$70 billion in mortgage
interest deductions.

You get a tax break,
and you get a tax break,

and you get a tax break!

Most people think that money
helps hardworking Americans

buy homes of their own.

But the fact is,
it doesn't.

Most of that money goes
straight to the people

who need it the least,
rich folks.

I love this tax break!

I love it!

You're only eligible
for that tax break

if you itemize your taxes.

And most people don't.

In laymen's terms, that means
over 75% of that sweet, sweet

cash goes straight to homeowners
who make over six figures.

Uncle Sam's giving
money to rich people

who can already afford homes.

(man)
Ohh...

(Adam)
The story starts in 1913 when the government

made all forms of interest
tax deductable.

But at that time,
people who could buy homes

bought them with cash.

So, homeowners didn't even have
interest for them to deduct.

Pa, you gonna deduct
the mortgage interest

on our here home?

Heck, no, Ma,
we don't have a mortgage.

We paid in cash.

Now quit your yapping.

We got a long day
of looking straight ahead.

But over the next few decades,
the growth of credit cards

led to a brand-new trend,
debt and interest.

And soon after, everybody was
deducting everything.

Why pay for this gold-plated
statue when I can charge it.

It's a write-off.

But the government never
intended this.

So, they closed
that loophole in 1986.

Except for mortgage interest.

Congress was too scared
to look like it was against

the American dream
of homeownership.

So, even though we knew the tax
break mainly helps the rich,

we still have it
for no good reason.

Up next, six tips to lose weight
that might kill you.

(applause)

Hey, there.

Welcome to my Airbnb.

My name is Zane.
Alan, right?

Actually, it's Adam.

Weird, never heard
that name before.

Let me show you around.

There's the bathroom.

I provide everything
except toilet paper.

Before toilet paper, some
Americans used corn cobs.

Okay, uh, over here,
I have a ton of DVDs.

So, I hope you brought
your DVD player.

This is the bedroom.

I painted these.

Yeah, this whole place is like
a gallery of my own art.

Man, Airbnb rules.

Yeah.
It sure does.

Apart from the massive
legal liability, of course.

Lia, what now?

Well, Airbnb would have us
believe it's a hospitality

utopia and better than
a hotel in every way.

But the fact is, their business
model endangers guests,

enables crooks and could leave
you on the hook

for anything I do here.

But I thought they
insured me or whatever.

Not always.

In many cases, Airbnb has
refused to pay for damages.

One guest crammed a bunch of
stuff down the owner's toilet,

causing $10,000 in damage.

(plopping)

(flushing)

But Airbnb only
offered to pay 78 bucks.

Hey!

I'm sorry.

You know, I'm realizing this
is a pattern of behavior.

In another case, a guest
refused to leave the property.

And became a squatter.

This is my house now!

After Airbnb wouldn't help,

the host was forced to hire an
expensive lawyer to evict them.

I've been here so long

that my skin fused
to your laundry basket.

(laughing)

But the risks guests
take is even worse.

Hotels are required to undergo
routine safety inspections.

But no one checks Airbnbs
for working sprinklers,

fire alarms,

(clicking)

carbon monoxide detectors

or fire exits.

What the--

I told you that's art.

Airbnb will actually
send a photographer

to take pictures
of your house...

(grunts)

But they don't send anyone
to make sure that it's safe.

In 2013, at least
six Airbnb guests

suffered carbon monoxide
poisoning, and one of them died.

Oh.

And we don't even know the total
number of people who have

been hurt because Airbnb
refuses to release the numbers.

Well, you take your chances
when you get a deal this good.

Yeah, you do, but not everyone
gets the same deal.

Airbnb let you
see my name and picture

before you
approved me, right?

They sure did.

Well, Sears does
wonderful work.

The problem is this
enables discrimination.

One study found that guests
with black sounding names

were 16% less likely to be
approved as Airbnb guests.

Wait, was that
white family lying

when they said I couldn't
stay with them?

(gasping)

Was there no emergency
yoga retreat?

I'm afraid not.

Nondiscrimination in hotels

was something the civil rights
movement fought for for decades.

That's why in
a traditional hotel,

this kind of treatment
is illegal.

But at Airbnb, the bad old days
are back again.

That is so (bleep) up.

Yeah, it is.

And it doesn't end there.

Because Airbnb is particularly
bad for cities.

If landlords had their way,

they would make every apartment
a vacation rental.

Of course I would.

Tourists pay a lot
more than tenants.

But that
drives up my rent.

I can't afford to live
in a dang hotel.

(Adam)
So, to protect residents, cities passed laws

that limit vacation rentals
in apartment buildings.

(siren blares)

Problems is, Airbnb doesn't
respect those laws.

A 2014 report found that nearly
three out of four Airbnb rentals

in New York City were illegal.

I'm not a criminal,
I'm an artist.

Sure, you may be an artist,

but a lot of Airbnb hosts
are con artists.

Zane, this
is Roy Samaan.

He researches housing
issues at LAANE,

a Los Angeles based
advocacy group.

Adam's right, Airbnb is used

heavily by shady characters
who use the service

to run illegal hotel chains.

They take out multiple leases
in different buildings

and Airbnb those
units year round.

(man)
I just making little cash when I'm out of town.

(Adam)
These jerks take critical residential housing

out of the market which drives
up rent for all of us.

And Airbnb does
nothing to stop 'em.

There was even a case in L.A.
where a landlord

evicted an entire
apartment building

so he could rent out the rooms
on Airbnb.

Left unregulated, Airbnb can
destroy entire neighborhoods.

I don't know, bro.

Is it on Airbnb to control
what their users do?

Airbnb is a big tech company

and they can filter out illegal
listings very easily.

Instead, they're putting the
burden on us and on cities

to go one by one and sue these
landlords to make sure

they're not breaking the law,
and that just isn't fair.

Thanks, Roy.

Hey, Adam, can I come in?

My arms are getting
really tired.

Oh, it's not actually
my place, so...

I don't know you, bro.

(window closes, Roy screams)

Not only does Airbnb
know about these crooks,

they actually take a cut.

I can't believe we let
them get away with this.

If three out of four Craigslist
users were using the site

to commit murder,
we'd be, like,

"Somebody stop
that murder website?!

I want them killed
with a knife, oh,

from behind
for under $100 a stab.

Not only does Airbnb profit
from illegal activity,

they've even secretly
purged the records

of illegal listings
from data they've released

to make it look like
it's not happening.

Wow.

That's not icy.

That's straight-up dicey.

It's a shame because
Airbnb actually provides

a valuable service.

Like, in remote areas
that don't have hotels.

But they also need
to be a good neighbor.

And right now,
they're doing the opposite.

Damn.

Thanks, Alan.

It's Adam, and no problem.

I can rest easy tonight

knowing I've taught
one person the truth.

You're not staying here.

I cancelled the reservation
five minutes ago.

You blew up my toilet, remember?

But where will I stay now?!

I don't know, man,
sleep on the street.

Well, everything we know
about homelessness is wrong.

I can talk about that.

Yeah, this'll be great.

♪

(camera snaps)

Ever wonder where the Hollywood
sign came from?

Well, it was actually an ad
for a real estate development.

(snaps)
It was built in 1923

and originally read
Hollywoodland.

The idea for the sign came from
investor Harry Chandler.

Yes, sir, yes, ma'am.

Step right up to Hollywoodland.

Plenty of views,
plenty of light,

and big bonus,
everyone's white!

(cheering)

Hollywoodland was
a segregated housing plan

built for white people
who were trying to get away

from Asian and Hispanic farm
workers in the Valley.

Segregation?

Ah, gag me with a spoon.

(Adam)
But the only thing stronger than systemic racism

was the stock market crash
of 1929.

Ugh! Crushed under the weight
of our own prejudices.

The development never took off.

And over the coming decades,
the sign fell into disrepair.

One time, the H even fell over.

Soon after, the sign
was almost torn down.

But get this.

It was saved by none other
than Hugh Hefner, twice.

Once in 1978
and again in 2010.

So, if you like the Hollywood
sign, thank me.

So, the next time you see
the Hollywood sign, remember,

it's a big tacky billboard
for a racist real estate plan

propped up by
the king of porn.

And there's nothing more
Hollywood than that.

(camera snaps)
You know, I love your magazine's articles.

Oh!

Hey, there, buddy.

I'm with Good Peeps.

Do you need assistance?

Oh, I'm not homeless.

Oh, where do you live?

Well, I was kicked out
of my apartment.

Then I was kicked
out of a haunted house.

And then I blew up a guy's
toilet in an Airbnb.

Sounds like
a tough couple years.

No, that was all today.

Trouble integrating
into society.

It's common among
the homeless.

Let me show you the wonderful
services we provide.

♪

At Good Peeps we provide
hot meals,

substance abuse
counseling and job training.

Our mission here
is to end homelessness.

Wow.

None of those things
will accomplish that.

In fact, this
old-fashioned approach

does nothing to end
homelessness.

What? I've been volunteering
here upwards of months.

I know what I'm doing.

We're feeding the homeless.

Yes, and that
is very generous.

But it doesn't change the fact
that they don't have homes.

Can't build a house
out of soup.

I'll take it.

Okay, fair point.

But we're doing
our best to help.

I mean, substance abuse
is a real problem.

That's why we require our
clients to get sober

before we help
them with housing.

Why would someone
need to be sober

before they can have
a place to live?

'Cause they might
smoke the house?

Addiction is a disease, man.

Can you imagine refusing someone
housing for any other disease?

Rejected?
Why?

Sorry, Harry,
you know the rules.

One diabetic coma
and you're out.

Call us when you're
off the insulin.

Research shows programs
that require abstinence

place such a burden
on the homeless

that many drop out and return
to living on the streets.

Well, what about
job training?

We give them skill so they can
get a job and afford a home.

Even if you're trained,
think about how hard it is

to get a job if you don't
have a place to live.

So, under address you wrote,

Zero don't have
a mailbox boulevard?

Yeah, but don't
send my checks there.

We'll be in touch.

The services you're providing
are well-intentioned and kind.

But they're doing nothing
to solve the real problem.

These people still
don't have homes.

You're right.

It's hopeless.

I mean, deep down, I knew it,
no matter what we do,

the rate of homelessness
never goes down.

There's no way
to fix this.

Oh, no, actually there is.

A miraculously simple one,
and it's being used

to great effect all
across the country.

Really?
Tell me what it is, please.

Just give them homes.

Shut the front door.

I would if I could.

You can't just
give people homes.

(man)
Actually, yeah, you can.

Oh, this is Rudy Salinas.

He's the program director
at Housing Works L.A.

Hey, Rudy.
Hello, Adam.

Would you mind telling Connor
what Housing First is all about?

Sure, with Housing First
we prioritize putting

people who experience
chronic homelessness

in their own
permanent housing.

Once we put a person
into an apartment,

we're able to address
all the issues and causes

of why they become homeless
in the first place.

Studies have shown
that when you put a person

in their own permanent housing,
their health improves

significantly and you're able to
affect change in their lives.

Not to mention,
once they have a home,

they're no longer,
you know, homeless.

Huh, it was right there
in the word all along.

This is the new method being
used across the country

to address homelessness,

and it's been proven
to have great results.

In Utah, Housing First cut the
number of chronically homeless

by 90% in just ten years.

But giving all those homes away
must've cost a fortune.

Nope, it actually
saved money.

When people live on the street,
our taxes have to pay

for their emergency services,

law enforcement
and hospital visits.

(groans)

In Utah, the average yearly cost
per homeless person

was over $19,000.

But the cost of giving someone
a home and a counselor

was just $7800.

That means Utah actually
saved over $11,000

for every person
they gave a home to.

Okay, but, I, I feel selfish
for saying this but...

I paid for my home.

It doesn't seem fair that
they should get one for free.

Well, I know it's
counterintuitive,

but let me put it this way.

You can either
let a person in need

sleep on the street
and waste money

or give them
a home and save money.

I know which I'd choose.

Connor, I want you
to meet someone.

Hey, Rudy.
Hey, Dorothy.

This is Dorothy Edwards.

She's my co-worker.

Hi, nice to meet you.
(Conner) Nice to meet you.

And she used to be homeless.

Yeah, I was homeless
for 15 years,

and I had no future,
I had no hope.

I was addicted to drugs,

living in a tent
on the side of the freeway.

Um, I was dying on the streets,
literally dying.

And then one day I was
approached by Housing Works.

And they said, you know,
there's this Housing First model

that's new and we'd like
you to be a part of it.

And they got me this great home
that I live in today.

Look at this place.

Now I've grown so much living
there in the last four years.

It changed everything.

I'm off of drugs
clean and sober.

I became a homeless
advocate myself.

I speak on national and state
levels for policy change.

That's amazing.
I wanna help too.

Is there something
I can do to be involved?

Sure, there are
organizations practicing

Housing First nationwide.

You may wanna contact your local
homeless service provider.

Actually I'm going to a move-in
party right now where we

put together everything a new
tenant needs for their place.

Ooh, that sounds great,
can I come?

Absolutely.

See you later, Rudy.

Hey, uh, Rudy, what would
you do if theoretically

you didn't have
a place to stay tonight?

Well, I'd ask myself who can
I turn to who can help me out?

Hmm.

♪

I am so sorry to ask this of you

but it's just way too hard to
find a place to live in America.

Our housing system is a mess,
and no one is talking about it.

I need your help.

Just stay away
from my plumbing.

Thanks, I know there's
a silver lining here somewhere.

♪

Night, dude.

Night, Rhea.

Hey, thanks again
for letting me stay with you.

Just, like, I said,
be out by Christmas.

You got it.

(insects chirping)

Hey, Rhea?

Yeah?!

You know how
I end my show, right?

I mean, I've only
really seen clips.

Well, I usually end with
a positive takeaway.

Adam, go to bed!

But I don't know if I can sleep
without a positive takeaway.

Fine.

(sighs)

Our country is in the middle
of a housing crisis.

Yeah.

Over half a million people

in the U.S. Are homeless.

Homeowners are struggling

to pay their mortgages.

And nearly half of all renters

are spending 30% of their income

on rent.

That's unprecedented.

Yup.

So, we need to eliminate our
infatuation with homeownership

and build low-cost rentals.

That sounds nice.

Place common sense
regulations on Airbnb.

Yeah.

And provide the chronically
homeless with places to live.

And if we do all those things

we'll be that much closer
to providing everyone

with a comfortable,
affordable home.

(snoring)
(laughs)

"Impractical Jokers."

Now that's a show.

Oh, I love the jokers.

I'm Team Sal.
Team Sal.

♪

Oh, I'm never
gonna hear back.

Ghosted.

(toilet flushes)

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