All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s01e18 Immigration.eng

(man on TV speaking Spanish)

Illegal immigration
is out of control.

Our borders are unprotected.

We need to build the wall!

If we don't--
(Adam speaking Spanish)

(Adam grunting)

(women gasping)

Closed Captions Provided by
truTV

Uh, sorry, no habla Espa?ol.

But you just did.

Oh, I was just phonetically

pronouncing the words
in my phrase book.

This puppy has gotten me kicked
out of a lot of taquerias.

The fact is building a wall
would actually

increase the number of illegal
immigrants in America.

What?
How could it possibly?

Here, I'll show you.

Just building a wall would
be practically impossible.

This is where it would be.

(dog squeals)

It would have to stretch over
2,000 miles of rough terrain...

cutting through mountains,

rivers, villages

and even people's homes.

And all that destruction
is monstrously expensive.

Just building the wall

would cost between
$15 and $25 billion.

(woman gasps)

It would easily be one
of the single most

expensive pieces of
infrastructure

in American history costing
as much as 20 Hoover Dams

or NASA's entire annual budget.

(man)
That's one small step for man,

one giant wall for no reason.

Not to mention
the astronomical cost

of staffing
and maintaining the wall,

which taxpayers like you
and your children

will be stuck paying forever.

I paid for the wall.

My father's father
paid for the wall.

And one day you
will pay for the wall.

Because this is Wall World.

Even just faking
the wall for our show

was prohibitively expensive.

Looks like our CGI
budget ran out.

Okay, yes,
it may be expensive

but that doesn't change the fact

that once we build it,
it will work.

Not like you think.

Increasing security
at the border

will never stop illegal
immigration.

Why not?

No one's getting passed me.

Yes, they are because
it's estimated that

between 27% and 40% of all
undocumented immigrants

in America
came here on planes.

(plane passing)

I forgot about planes.

These immigrants didn't
sneak over the border.

They came here legally
through passport control,

then just overstayed
their visas.

And guess what?
A border wall's

not gonna stop 'em
because, reminder...

You fools!

You forgot about planes!

We always forget about planes!

Even by your estimate
of visa overstays,

the wall would still
stop about half

of America's 11 million
illegal immigrants.

No, it wouldn't.

'Cause of a little something
called circular flow.

Here, I'll show you.

(dog yelps)

For decades, immigration
to the U.S. was a circular flow.

People would come,
work for a bit

and then after they were done,
go home to their families.

Meet Douglas Massey.

Thanks, Adam.

My arms were getting pretty
tired waiting for my cue.

He's a professor at Princeton

and a pioneering
researcher on this topic.

When the Reagan, Bush
and Clinton administrations

drastically increased border

enforcement in response

to public opinion,

they stopped that circular flow.

Not by keeping people out,
but by keeping people in.

(Douglas)
As it got harder and harder to go back and forth,

people crossing
the border decided

they were much better off
just staying in the U.S.

If I go back to Mexico now,

he won't let me back
in the U.S.

I guess I'll just stay here...
in Tucson.

Ironically, this increase
in border enforcement

caused the number of
undocumented immigrants

living in the United States
to skyrocket by 248%.

It's counterintuitive,
but building a wall

wouldn't stop people
from coming in.

It would actually stop them
from going back.

In fact, the whole idea of
building a border wall

is misguided.

The Mexican economy is doing
quite well right now

and population growth
has slowed way down.

So, there's not much
pressure to emigrate.

The number of illegal
border crossings

is actually at an all-time low.

If you're a professor,
then why are you in the desert?

I'm not, I'm a mirage.

(gasping)
Hey!

Look, we already have
what has to be the most

militarized border between
any two nations at peace.

So, the real issue
of immigration

isn't the people coming in.

The fact is,
they're already here.

Nearly one out of every
30 people in America

is an unauthorized immigrant.

Hm, the only thing a wall stops

is a discussion
of actual solutions.

(man speaking Spanish on TV)

Oh, my God,
Adam, you're right.

The wall isn't the answer.

Oh, good, I'm so
glad I could help.

Millions of people
are already here.

We need to deport them.

Yes! Deportation
is the answer.

No...

(gasping)
Alfonso!

(speaking Spanish)

Hola, amigos.

Uh, hi.

Who is this?

This is Alfonso.

He busts common
misconceptions on his show,

"Alfonso Explica Todo."

It's really
popular in Mexico.

That sounds like
a lot my show.

Huh?

I'm sorry, Alfonso,
but I don't believe it.

Why wouldn't we deport people
who came here illegally?

Can I help?

Not what I meant,
but uh...

Why you warring yourself?
Why you warring yourself?

(grunts)

Hey, you all saw what he did.

You all saw.

I'm gonna do war.

Oh, are you talking about how
the U.S. straight up attacked

Mexico and took millions of
square miles of their land

just because we could?

Mine.
All mine.

S?.

Wait... all of those states
were part of Mexico?

So, the people living
there were Mexican.

S?.

("Stars and Stripes Forever"
playing)

(whistling)

Welcome to America!

This is America now.

Then why is this
called New Mexico?

Ah, that's just
a placeholder.

The Depression isn't my fault.

I'm just a little
sweetie pie.

It's those damn Mexicans.

We must rid ourselves of
criminal aliens.

Get out! Scram!
Back to Mexico!

But this was Mexico.

Well, if they
weren't citizens.

Actually...

Uh, I was actually
born in Nevada.

Nevada?
Never heard of it!

What the heck is that,
some kind of chalupa?

Out! Out!

During this period, the U.S.
deported nearly one million

of our own citizens just
because they had brown skin.

(speaking Spanish)

We want you!

Please come back!
We need you, baby.

(broadcaster)
Mexicans helping with the war effort.

They...

...an make our burritos.

See, they came here legally
and they helped win the war.

This will make a great anecdote
when I run for office.

That's an inspiring
American story.

Uhn, I'll just leave
that part out.

Changed our minds.
We hate Mexicans again.

Let's get 'em all out of here
and implement Operation Wetback.

What?!

That's an awful slur.

You couldn't call it
anything else?

Uh, how about
Operation (bleep).

Ugh! Hey!

Hey! You asked me
to come here.

Eh, we're fickle.
Get out!

(man grunts)

Not only were these programs
explicitly racist,

they were a human
rights disaster.

Thousands of families were
detained and separated.

They were crowded onto boats

described as 18th century
slave ships.

And those who went
by sea were lucky.

88 braceros died after being
left in the desert.

Not only was this program
unconscionably inhumane,

it destroyed the image of
America as a bastion

of freedom and equality

for a generation of
Mexican-Americans.

Oh, please don't yell at me,
I have an inner ear infection.

Let me be very clear,

these mass
deportation programs

are one of the most shameful
chapters in America's history.

They solved nothing.

Their only outcome
was suffering and death.

Ah, mi hija.

I don't understand.

This is a great country.
How could this happen?

Great countries make mistakes.

True greatness
is in not repeating them.

I don't know what to say.

Uh, hey, Alfonso.

You were great
and we learned a lot,

uh, but I think
it's time we get home.

I didn't know our history
was so horrible.

Things are different now.

We're better now, right?

What?!
Let me look.

No, this is a mistake.

We'll go to the court
and we'll explain.

I'm sure once they hear us out,
they'll be reasonable.

Ah, I hate to say this,

but the U.S. immigration
court system is, uh,

como se dice
"clusterfudge?"

I don't understand, Abuela.

This isn't a place
for people like us.

This is for people who
came here the wrong way.

I'm sure they're going
to give you a fair hearing.

I'm sorry but our Nation's
immigration courts

are a total mess.

It's not just pieces
of it that are messed up,

the entire system is one big
judicial garbage fire.

But Abuela didn't
come here illegally.

She just lost her paperwork.

Right.
All kinds of people

are scooped up
into these courts.

Some were apprehended at the
border or committed a crime,

others were picked up
for a minor traffic violation.

And some just lost
their paperwork.

I came here to study finance,
but I lost my passport

at the Burning Man.

Some came here legally.

Others not so much.

The purpose of this court
is to determine which is which.

See, Abuela, I'm sure
they're gonna see

that you deserve
to be here.

Here's the problem,
less than 2%

of what we spend
on immigration annually

is devoted to these courts.

Sorry.

There are just 57 immigration
courts across the U.S.

Think about that.

We have 30 times
as many Radio Shacks

as we do immigration courts.

And there are definitely more
folks with immigration problems

then there are people who
need Blackberry holsters.

The immigration courts currently
have an insane backlog of

489,000 cases.

(Cajun accent)
Hot dang! Boy, that's a number

higher than the population
of New Orleans.

Wait, a Cajun guy?

You're an American.
Why are you here?

Chere baby, they don't
understand me when I talk.

They think I'm
speaking the French.

Oh, yeah.

Now you see that I'm dealing
with there, boy.

Sure, they think
that's it all right.

I'm just a man trying
to raise a family

on $2.50 a month.

Come on, chere baby...

This underfunded system has
so few immigration judges

that each one handles
1,500 cases a year.

And unlike regular judges,
they can actually be fired

for not working fast enough.

Deported. (gavel bangs)
Deported. (gavel bangs)

Deported. (gavel bangs)
Deported. (gavel bangs)

Deported. (gavel bangs)
Deported. (gavel bangs)

(muffled) Deported.
(gavel bangs) Deported. (gavel bangs)

Deported. (gavel banging)
Deported. Deported.

Deported. Deported.
Deported. Deported...

Even worse the vast majority
of respondents

go through this system
without a lawyer.

Wait, what about
public defenders?

Nope, unlike regular,
or lets be frank...

real courts, immigration courts
do not provide lawyers,

even to unaccompanied minors.

Children? They don't give
lawyers to children?

(baby cooing)

Objection overruled.

(cooing)
Sustained.

One more outburst
and I'm having you detained.

Not to mention the severe
language barrier.

In some cases, interpreters are
only available over the phone.

(man on phone speaking Spanish)

What'd she say?

(man on phone)
Uh, something about Nintendo.

This is Xbox country.

Deport her.

This has to be an exaggeration.
It can't possibly be this bad.

No, often it's much worse.

Some detention centers
are so remote,

defendants can't even be
physically present in court,

so the government
conducts hearings

via Skype or televideo.

I ha-- Ameri-- citizensh--

Should I reboot her?

No, just deport her.

What?
Wait-wait-wait!

Wait! No-no-no-no! No!

Think about it,
that means you can have

a hearing where the judge
is in the courtroom,

the translator is talking
over the phone,

and the defendant
is on a webcam.

This is really happening in
immigration courtrooms

all across
America as we speak.

And it's no surprise that under
this cacamany process,

huge mistakes
happen constantly.

Meet Professor Jackie Stevens.

She works closely with people
trapped in this system.

Reporting on their stories

and connecting them
with legal counsel.

Thanks, Adam.
Gabby, this system regularly

deports American citizens.

American citizens?
Really?

Yes.
In fact, in 2009,

I got to know a man
named Mark Lyttle.

He is a U.S. citizen with
mental disabilities

who was deported in what
was called a mass removal.

The judge asked a group
of 30 men over televideo

to raise their hands if they
objected to being deported.

The judge recorded
seeing no hands.

When he later told
them that he was born

in North Carolina,
no one listened.

(Jackie)
He was deported to Mexico where officials there

discovered he wasn't
a Mexican citizen.

He was deported, yet again,
to Honduras.

And they deported
him to Guatemala.

Police in Guatemala finally
found Mark Lyttle

sleeping on a park bench
thousands of miles from home.

Ah, so he finally
got to go home right?

(Jackie)
Yes, but when he arrived in Atlanta,

they detained him again.

That's awful.

Yes, and shockingly common.

According to my research, more
than 20,000 U.S. citizens

have been detained or deported
since 2003.

20,000...
citizens?

Yes. The system
is so broken that-- to this--

deported-- (video glitching)

This system is so broken,
natural born American citizens

like you and me are
deported all the time.

Whether you're conservative,

or liberal,
or somewhere in between,

you have to face the fact that
what our immigration system

does to people is contrary to
every American value.

If even I could be...

what chance does
my abuela have?

I'm so sorry.
I'll do anything I can to help.

My sister's a lawyer.

I'm not sure what type, but...

I'm sure she could
suggest somebody.

What's the point?
Why even stay in America?

What?

I didn't quite follow that,
but it sounded really sad.

(speaking Spanish)

Yes, I think I do.

We are Americans
and it's up to us to stay

and make this country
a better place.

Muy bien.

You're right, Abuela.

I'm going to take some
courses in immigration law.

We're going to get the money
together and hire a lawyer.

We're gonna fix this,
whatever it takes.

I promise.

And... thanks, Adam.

This hasn't been easy, but we
really appreciate your help.

Wow, I'm honored.

Now, could you hold
for room tone?

No?

Okay, well, good luck.

You know, amigo,
you explain things well.

Not with my flare
of course.

Thank you, Alfonso.

Vamanos.
There's work to be done.

Ah... Adam.

What?!

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