Original subtitles

Serinuma-san is my girlfriend.

I won't let you make a pass at her.

Huh? What? Girlfriend?

Who is? Me? Mutsumi-senpai's?

What?!

Don't just make stuff up!

What are you saying?!

We don't believe you!

When did you guys get here?

Since the "she's my girlfriend" part!

I-Is that true?!

What is the meaning of this, Mutsumi-senpai?!

Oh, sorry.

Asuma, you're just as bad at lying as you always were, I see.

Asuma was just trying to protect Serinuma-san.

Protect? Wait!

Did you do something to her?!

Nana!

You're cute when you're angry, too.

Nana-kyun.

This is bad. I just can't help myself when I see something cute,

like how I got too bold with Serinuma-san just now.

You were just trying to keep your brother in line, Mutsumi-senpai?

So, did we just get in the way?

W-We're really sorry.

No, you guys couldn't help it.

Yeah, but now I really understand where you all stand with each other.

Great. I can see you're all head-over-heels for her.

I'll throw my hat in the ring, too!

Tehe

Iga

Ni

Ka

Shi

Nana

What?! Why?!

But you're a teacher!

How can you say that?!

You perverted teacher!

Too bad. I'm not actually a teacher yet.

I'm a student teacher.

None of that matters when it comes to love.

Iga

Ni

Ka

Shi

Nana

Yes, it does!

There you have it,

so let's go out.

I'm sorry, but my waifu is Shion.

Sparkle

Waifu?

Iga

Ni

Shi

Nana

You're pretty funny!

This guy's bad news.

We have to do something about him, quick!

We need to stop him, or else.

We've gotta protect her.

You're right.

Kiss Him, Not Me

Forward! Guard the Castle!

Good morning, Serinuma-san.

Good morning.

I was thinking...

I'm fine being second, so make me your waifu.

I'm sorry, but the second wife spot is tied between Captain Levi and Akane-chan.

What? Is that true? Who are they?

Then, I'm happy being your third wife.

My third wife is Miyuki-senpai.

Sparkle

By the way, I have sixteen wives in total.

Starting first thing in the morning!

Talk about persistent.

All right, move out, Captain Shinomiya!

Recapture Serinuma!

I will expel the enemy!

That's Eren.

Serinuma-senpai.

Shinomiya-kun, morning.

Nakano-senpai is looking for you that way.

A-chan?

Well then, Sensei, if you'll excuse me.

Good job!

But, I don't like the looks of this...

I'd appreciate you staying out of my way, Shinomiya Hayato-kun.

I'm afraid I can't do that.

After all, it's a man's job to save girls being harassed.

A man's job, huh?

I will do anything to protect Serinuma-senpai.

Oh, aren't you cool?

"Anything," you say?

Well then,

introduce me to this girl.

Why do you have that picture?!

I got it from a first-year girl!

You're quite famous, aren't you, Princess?

Cut it out!

What's the problem? You're just my type.

Smooch

Scary! He's so scary! I can't handle it!

Get a hold of yourself!

That's one down, huh?

Well, considering his lack of mental fortitude, it makes sense.

That's harsh.

I'm going to ask questions to the class now.

If I call on you, you'll have to answer.

Naughty boys and girls with wrong answers

will have to accept a kiss from me!

What kind of class is this?

Tamura-san. Who established the Kamakura shogunate?

Minamoto no Yoritomo.

Murasawa-san. Who was Minamoto no Yoritomo's wife, also known as the nun-shogun?

Hojo Masako.

Narita-san. Who was the retired emperor that overthrew the shogunate

in the Jokyu War of 1221?

Retired Emperor Gotoba.

Next, Serinuma-san.

Yes.

Date Masamune was suspected of an affair with—

Tadano Sakujuro.

Tadano Sakujuro was the one who slit his own arm to prove his innocence,

but who's the famed prostitute who shared a tragic love story with

the Kamakura Shogunate's Hatakeyama Shigetada?

What's with the sudden rise in difficulty?!

Since Serinuma-san is in the History Club, I thought I'd give her a tricky one.

He's aiming for Serinuma!

Hmm...

The only thing I'm confident about

is the Sengoku commanders' connections, and their homosexual relationships!

I don't know this hardcore stuff!

Sensei.

Can I answer that question?

Sure, I'm fine with that. Give it a shot.

I don't know.

Wha?!

Nope. Wrong answer.

You'll have to kiss me now.

Sacrificing yourself to protect the girl?

Pretty good, Igarashi-kun.

This is child's play! Serves you right.

I-Igarashi, you really chose to risk yourself for Serinuma!

Gotcha!

I was just joking! How could I do something like that?

I'd get in trouble with the other teachers!

Besides.

I feel bad for making Nanashima-kun tear up on the sidelines.

What? No! That's not it!

It's okay. I'm not gonna steal him from you!

Iga

Nana

Huh?!

Whisper Whisper

Now that he mentions it, don't they have matching keychains?

Then, they really are going out?!

Huh?! No—

It's not— Um!

R-Really?!

They're the keychains you gave us!

Gloom

The rumor about us has been sown,

now everyone doubts us...

Collapse

Our lives are over.

Stop. Just stop.

Jeez, you both are hopeless!

I understand. I'll go settle the matter.

Nishina Shima, moving out!

Oh, Nishina!

Godspeed!

She's back!

How did it go?

Did you talk him down?!

Nishina!

What's wrong? What happened?!

He's...

Serinuma-senpai's love for Shion is eternal. Please don't get in the way.

"That's all, everyone."

"Thank you all for reading my book."

"Jeez, making me go through all this trouble. Cut the crap!"

Quote, unquote.

"Oh! That hurts! Shion, you're heartless!"

"It's just what you deserve."

"I did 23 pages in three days."

"Why are you bragging? You were just procrastinating."

"But, Shion just wouldn't come to me! He just keeps flirting with Tera!"

Quote, unquote.

That's...

Yup, it's Yokoshima-sensei's first self-published book.

S-Stop it!

Also, for BGM, it has something like eternal written down. What does that mean?

And beside each illustration there's a brand and cost written down.

And I see all these humble comments everywhere

like, "I suck" and "Sorry this looks like crap."

Stop!

He's a... demon.

Nishina!

To think he could reduce Nishina to this.

What the hell happened?

It's no use. At this rate, he'll be unstoppable.

We'll have to ask for his help!

Me?

Yes. We can't handle this on our own.

Wh-What happened?

You're his brother!

An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth!

A Mutsumi for a Mutsumi!

Let's go!

There he is.

Well, tell me about your 3rd through 16th wives.

Sure.

Well, first is...

Material Storage Room

Hey, Asuma.

What's up?

There's something I want to talk to you about.

Could you stop making passes at Serinuma-san?

Huh? Why?

Why? If you're just playing around—

Huh? I'm not playing around.

I'm actually quite serious about how I feel about her.

Whoa! A UFO!

Huh? Where?

What are you doing?

Honestly! Why would there be a UFO here?

You're way too gullible and soft!

Open up! Nii-san!

I bet you your friends put you up to this, anyway.

Nii-san!

But...

Let me out!

You know all too well, right?

I always get what I want.

Don't get in my way.

Later!

It's dark.

So dark that I can't see anything.

And I can't move,

just like back then.

Nagoya Castle

Cool! The shachihoko are all gold!

Yup!

Castles like this with gold shachihoko are the best! Right, Asuma?

Yup!

Dear Santa...

Please bring us Nagoya Castle.

Nagoya Castle

Kumamoto Castle

It's Nagoya Castle!

It's got no gold shachihoko...

Famous Japanese Castles Series Nagoya Castle

Onii-chan, do you want to trade?

Huh? Why?

Well, you like Nagoya Castle, right?

So do you, though!

I'd rather you be happy, so let's trade.

Liar! You want Nagoya Castle, too, don't you?!

N-No, I don't.

Liar! Yes, you do!

I don't want it!

You do, too!

I do not!

I'm not gonna let you out until you admit you do!

After that, he forgot all about me.

And I spent the entire night trapped in the storehouse.

But...

My sweet, sweet Asuma-kun.

If it makes me happy, will you let me have her as well?

Why was he so angry back then?

You want Nagoya Castle too, don't you?!

Senpai, are you okay?

Th-Thanks.

Does he usually go this far?

That's your brother for you.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm actually quite serious.

If he was just playing around, I felt like I had to stop him.

But, if he's actually serious about all this...

Dammit. What can you do about all this?

Nothing.

Sorry. I'm going home.

Huh? Senpai?

If he's serious, and Serinuma-san chooses him,

then there's nothing I can do.

But, what's with me?

Why does it hurt?

Kiss Him, Not Me

Kiss Him, Not Me

Morning!

Morning, Serinuma-san. You, too, Nana.

We ran into each other at the entrance, so we came together.

Oh, yeah?

How'd it go?

I haven't seen him this morning. If I had, I would have blocked him.

He was Actually Waiting at the School Entrance.

Good. His training period is almost over.

We just gotta keep making sure he doesn't get near her.

Yeah.

Good morning, everyone. This is your student teacher, Mutsumi Kazuma.

Sorry to disrupt you this morning,

but there's something I absolutely must say, so I decided to use the school PA system.

So, here it goes.

Mutsumi Asuma of Class 3-C,

I challenge you to a duel!

A duel of Guard the Castle!

Huh?

Guard the... What?

Did he say Guard the Castle?!

Allow me to explain!

Guard the Castle is a card game

that was released at the same time as a certain other popular card game.

Despite being overshadowed, it has a small but passionate following of enthusiasts.

A card game for fans of the Sengoku Era.

A Fanatic

It's so fun!

You know it?

Nope.

You know the game, yes? So you should have no objections.

We'll play today after school, at 3:00 P.M.

Meet at the gym.

Everyone. Please feel free to come and watch.

Nii-san!

Oh, Asuma! Were you listening?

What are you doing?

What are you trying—

I always get my hands on what I want.

But this is the first time you do not seem to approve.

So I'll give you a chance, because I'm so nice.

If you let this slip through your fingers, I'll ignore you from now on.

So, what will you do?

Make your decision.

The Mutsumi brothers battle!

I'm totally going!

Definitely!

It sounds fun!

So they really are brothers?

This is the History Club. We're Always Looking For New Members!

Senpai!

You'll duel with Guard the Castle, right?!

Um...

Gosh, a duel between brothers! Intense!

I used to duel my brother, too, betting snacks.

He was so bad at it.

Munch Munch

I always ended up eating both of our snacks and making him cry.

I see. That's amazing.

That being the case, do your best, Senpai!

Forward! Guard the Castle!

Yeah. But I'm still not sure.

Why not? Is something the matter?

I've always given up whatever I could,

and I've shared whatever I could share.

I've never wanted anything so much I'd fight over it.

As long as everyone else was happy, that's what made me happy.

Is something at stake in this match?

Huh? Um... Yeah.

Can you share it?

No. Since it's not a "thing."

In any case, it can't be shared, I think.

Is that right?

Why don't you just give it to him, then?

Huh?

I...

I can't do that!

Oh, sorry for shouting.

It's fine.

It makes me feel terrible when I think about my brother taking this from me.

It makes me really depressed.

Okay.

You'll have to fight, then.

If you really want it,

sometimes you have to fight for it, even if that means taking others down.

Babble Babble

Like when a popular online artist

puts out a copy of one of their books at an event on a whim

so you take the first train, line up, and get it.

Babble Babble

The same goes for merch.

If it's a limited item, even if your friends want it,

Babble Babble

you just harden your resolve and do whatever it takes.

But that's what it means to battle.

Shion says if you show sympathy or pity, you're being rude to you and your foe.

Her hand is so warm.

And it's something...

I don't want to let go.

I'll do it.

Okay! Do your best!

And I'll win!

What's with all these people?

Why are there so many people here?

They must have time to kill.

More importantly, guys.

Here, take these.

What are these?

They're to cheer Senpai on!

Let's get pumped up!

Oh, but be considerate to anyone behind you, so only hold them at chest height.

No holding them any higher.

Something's written on here. "Prince of Badminton?"

"DanPuri?"

I'm recycling my love.

Now our love can be passed down to the next generation and title, for all eternity.

What do you mean by "our" love?

A Guard the Castle duel? Mutsumi-shi, how sharp of you!

History Club Members

I shall be sure to peruse his skill.

Here they come!

Wh-What's with that helmet?!

He's an idiot.

Love

He's an idiot.

That famous love helmet...

Senpai, do your best!

Nii-san, you stole that from the club room, didn't you?

It's for the yearly Sports Festival Relay.

Hmph. It's fitting for this match.

I'll put an end to your days of doing whatever you want, Nii-san.

Forward!

I don't really know what's going on, but it's started!

Kazuma-sensei, good luck! Not that I get what's happening!

Go! Footmen special attack!

Too easy! I activate my trap card! Great mole's snare!

My turn! Draw! I end my turn with one card face down on defense!

I activate my skill card! Grade S enhancement!

Defense up 2000!

They're so good!

Senpai feigned a quick attack, then struck from behind.

But Sensei was able to anticipate it, dodge, and counterattack.

But Senpai's tactic of chipping away at Sensei is definitely working.

Neither of them are backing down!

It's an amazing battle!

Iga

Shi

Nana

We have no idea what's happening!

And right now, Senpai is being cornered!

Iga

Asuma

Everyone! What's important right now is that we cheer him on!

Our power is sure to reach him!

Got it.

Asuma

Asuma

Yeah! Yeah! Asuma!

You guys...

Senpai, give it your all!

You can do this!

Reinforce rifle unit!

Encouragement squad, full force!

Activate trap: Kunoichi!

Skill card: Final Burst Skill!

A-Amazing! Suddenly, Senpai's got the upper hand!

You haven't changed a bit, have you?

Always a fair and square frontal attack.

That's your weakness, and always has been.

I've defeated the general.

Senpai!

Love

Are you sure about that?

Body double. Spy.

Silence

S-Senpai won!

I have no idea what happened or how he won.

But, whatever! I'm happy!

Congratulations, Senpai!

To think you had a body double and a spy...

When did you do that?

I never thought you'd play a hand that's just barely not breaking the rules.

Love

Sorry.

But this time, I just couldn't let you have your way.

Asuma.

If that's how you feel, then say so.

Always.

Nii-san!

I don't really get it, but I'm touched!

Congratulations!

Love

I'll put that back.

Sure. Thanks.

Senpai!

Congratulations!

Thanks.

It was an amazing duel!

Now you don't need to give up what you want.

Yup.

Wait... huh?

What was it that you wanted so badly?

It's something very precious to me.

Serinuma-san, I like you.

Kae-chan, why do you think we like it when boys are together?

Huh? Boys being together is beautiful. Isn't that obvious?

I'd say more than beautiful, I find it heart-rending.

Ah, like a love triangle?

Even though he has his childhood friend,

a bottom's that's drawn to his gentle Senpai!

No, no, if you're taking that angle,

even though he has his childhood friend,

he starts to enjoy being teased by his tsundere kouhai!

And he's gotta be a top!

Next Time: Kiss Him, Not Me

Look forward to it!

That works, too!

And then,

it turns out the main character and his Senpai actually have a bitter hatred—