Original subtitles

Flapjack. Hey, Flapjack.

Come with me! We'll go and see a place called

Candied Island!

♪ Who needs Candied Island? ♪

♪ It's safer at the docks ♪

♪ But there ain't no streams of sodie pop

to go drippin' down the rocks ♪

♪ it's dangerous and risky ♪

♪ But adventurous and free ♪

♪ Adventure, that's the life for me ♪

♪ There's lollipop trees and a lemonade sea! ♪

Doesn't sound very good to me.

♪ The Misadventures of... ♪

♪ Flapjack ♪

[ SPLASH ]

Hi, Gorgeous Gary.

Hi, Peppermint Larry.

Hi, Lolly Poopdeck.

Hi, Pirate Paul.

- Hi, Babyface. - Huh?

hi, George. Hi, Randolph.

Hi, Marvin.

Hi, ms...

Leaning.

Hi, Joe, Bob...Woody, and Herm...

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

...Man.

Whoo! That's everyone.

Class, show Flapjack your papier-mâché masks.

Huh! Hi, dog.

Hi, giraffe.

Hi...

[ SQUEAK! ]

Hi, Sweetie.

Ugh.

Saying hi to everyone in Stormalong

makes me pooped.

Did you say hi to everyone?

Yes.

Everyone?

Oh! Hi, Bubbie!

Oh, pumpkin, you're so adorable,

I could just squish you with love!

Or you could squish me 'cause you're so big.

Big people make the best squishers.

Uh, let's not talk about squishing anymore, sweetie.

[ GLUGS ]

Egh. K'nuckles.

K'nuckie!

[ CHUCKLES ]

Open your mouth, woman.

Mnh-mnh!

Not with that attitude.

K'nuckles, get back here and shut this door!

You shut it. i'm not shutting

something i didn't open.

I'm not unopening something I didn't shut.

Wait! What?! That doesn't make any sense!

The way your tooth opens

like a door doesn't make any sense.

You shut that door,

or i'm gon' belch on you!

Oh, man, come on!

Flapjack, Sugar, I don't want...

...none of this belch getting on you, baby.

Now, you crawl up through Bubbie's blowhole

the way I taught you.

I got a better idea.

Flap, go close that door.

Okay. Hey! Why should i do it?

Because my life is hard.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Hey! Not funny!

Not funny!

Sorry, Cap'n.

You said your life was hard like you meant it.

You couldn't last 10 minutes in these boots!

I don't know, Cap'n.

Your life's pretty easy.

If I were you and --

and you were me, then you'd see --

my life is way harder.

Well, let's see, then.

Let's see your papier-mâché mask, K'nuckie.

Hmm?

Let's see yours first.

♪ Do you like it? ♪

Something's not quite right.

[ GROANS ]

Here!

Thanks.

Now show me yours.

[ MAN SCREAMS ]

I think I made the teeth too big.

Let's put 'em on and try 'em out on Bubbie!

I'm captain K'nuckles!

Put candies in my mouth if you know what's good for ya.

Ha!

I'm Flapjack. I like kisses.

I punch kisses!

No! You can't punch kisses!

Say you won't, Captain!

- Say you won't. - no!

Bubbie, don't let him punch these kisses.

[ SMOOCHING ]

Bubbie, do you still love me?

Do you?

Tell me.

Yeah ...sugar, I love you.

Come on! Let's go into town, K'nuckles!

How did I do?

I don't think she suspected a thing.

I need new glasses.

Now we'll see whose life is easier.

I hope you like always having to do stuff

and coming up with excuses

why you didn't do other stuff.

This is easy.

I just have to lay around and stuff.

This is gonna be easy.

I just have to prance around like a baby.

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la -- ♪

Having trouble with your eyesight, Mr. Flapjack?

No, Dr. Barber.

My eyes are just fine.

Hmm. Well, I wasn't asking you,

Captain K'nuckles.

Asking me what?

Hmm. Very peculiar.

[ GASPS ]

I think he's talking to me.

Oh, right. Right, right, right.

Well, who's he talking to now?

He's not talking.

But remember -- i'm K'nuckles.

Mm-hmm. Very peculiar, indeed.

Maybe we should split up.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ ALL SNORING ]

Looks like a great day for adventure!

Huh? Huh?

[ PIRATES GRUMBLE ]

I said, looks like --

looks like a great day for you to shut up!

[ ALL SHOUTING ANGRILY ]

Nobody's in the mood for adventure today.

So it must be a perfect day

to tell adventure stories!

Who's ready for a tale of adventure?

An adventure story from K'nuckles?

Well, old Corkscrew, here,

was gonna finally tell us

how he got that scar of his

when he was out on the sea of teeth.

But a tale from Cap'n K'nuckles?

How could we pass

on that opportunity?

But, uh, K'nuckles' stories is bad.

I know!

I was being sarcastic.

♪ Flapjack realizes

nobody respects K'nuckles ♪

Hey, Flapjack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[ GROANS ]

do I have to talk to every goon i see?

Ohh! Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo!

Aw, geez. Not this guy.

Even Flapjack wouldn't talk to this guy.

[ WHEELCHAIR CREAKING ]

There you are, Flapjack.

We can finish yesterday's conversation.

[ GROANS ]

Now, where was I?

♪ One boring story later... ♪

[ GROANS ]

which reminds me of another story...

♪ 2 boring stories later... ♪

Blah, blah, blah...

This is horrible!

Does Flapjack have to put up with this every day?!

I guess life is hard for the little guy.

Flapjack?

Huh? What?

I said, I'll be right back.

Can you watch my stuff?

[ FLY BUZZES ]

You trust me?

Sure, Flapjack. Everyon trusts --

[ CRUNCH! CRUNCH! ]

Hmm.

When i'm dressed as Flapjack,

I can do whatever I want!

[ ECHOING ]

[ SNIFFLES, SIGHS ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

Puddin', is that you?

Where you at, baby boy?

W-was that a sniffle I heard?

Oh, K'nuckles. It's you.

And you still haven't closed that front door!

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

Let Flapjack do it!

that kid's got it easy.

Don't you dare talk about my baby!

or what? You'll love him even more?

And trust him with --

ugh! Aah!

You got some nerve

talking about my angel that way.

Who do you think you are?!

I'm someone who knows how easy it is.

for Flapjack.

Puddin'? Is that you?

Why in the world would you wear that costume?

K'nuckles and I dressed up like each other

so we could see what each other's lives are like.

And I learned how hard life can be ...

for a gruff wayward traveler.

Unh-unh. Wait a minute, baby.

Now, you telling me that K'nuckles

is running around town dressed like you?

Yes?

[ CLATTER ]

[ CAT SCREECHES ]

Oh, that's trouble.

[ CRYING ]

Flapjack stole my hat!

He kisses my sister on the lips!

Curse you, Flapjack.

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

Man, I should have thought

this trading-places thing a long time ago.

Huh? is someone there?

Oh, hi, friend.

Do you have something expensive --

I mean, dear to you

that you would like me --

Flapjack -- to look after

while you tend to other things?

Flapjack, why are you wearing that hat over your face?

Because, for some reason,

everyone on the dock wants to beat me up!

I felt bad for you,

and now everyone hates me!

You can't be me anymore, K'nuckles!

hey, i'm not K'nuckles.

I'm Flapjack.

Take off the mask!

No! Get off of me!

Stop being me!

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

Get out of my mask!

You get out!

You can't be me anymore!

But I love being you!

[ CRYING ]

For the first time in my life,

people were nice to me.

They trusted me, Flapjack!

Don't make me be K'nuckles again.

[ CRIES ]

Oh, Cap'n.

I didn't know you were in so much pain.

Yeah.

[ SNIFFLES ]

being K'nuckles is really painful.

Let me wipe your tears.

[ BLOWS NOSE ]

I guess I should take this mask off now.

No. I think you should leave it on...

...as long as you want.

Really?!

Thanks, Flapjack!

You're under arrest, Flapjack.

This Flapjack's under arrest, too.

Wait -- so there's two Flapjacks?

So which one goes to jail?

Um...

I say we put the one

with the disturbing face in jail.

Tough break, kid.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We're gonna have to let them go.

We can't arrest one Flapjack

when there's two.

And we can't arrest two Flapjacks

for the same crime.

All: Make that 42 Flapjacks!

Wha?!

Yep, it's obvious my life is harder.

I don't know.

I was the one who got arrested twice.

What?! Neither Flapjack

would have been arrested if it weren't for me.

Neither Flapjack would have been arrested

if i didn't have the mask idea.

that's right -- i don't have ideas.

That's why my life is harder.

Uh, excuse me.

Will somebody please close my tooth?

Stormalong's being overrun by crazy criminals.

[ ALARM RINGING, INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Bubbie, maybe you should do it.

Your life's pretty easy.

Come on, Flap. Last one to the top

is a rotten abalone.

Hey, no fair!

I was still tying my shoe!

Life's not fair!

Nyuk! Nyuk!

[ LAUGHING ]

Golly. I can still win.

You two sure get excited

for garbage day at the candy barrel.

[ WHISTLING ]

- Whee! - Huh?

I win!

oof!

[ GRUNTING ]

I win!

- you win? - you're not

on the top stair.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I knew I couldn't count you out.

[ LAUGHS ]

Not so fast!

Oh, hello,

miss Dock Hag, sir.

I-i didn't see you there, uh,

with that stack of unpaid dock tickets,

uh, all with my name on 'em,

and, uh... oh, looky there.

You got yourself a big broom,

and, uh -- run, boy!

Ah-aah!

Aah!

Down the stairs!

No, Cap'n, wait!

ow! Ow! Ugh!

And you're not to set one

foot on my dock until you pay

all of your dock tickets!

Understand?

but it's garbage day at the candy barrel.

Shh.

But what?!

[ GRUMBLING ]

All of Peppermint Larry's garbage

going to waste!

I know -- why don't we just pay the tickets?

Because we don't have any money, genius!

You got any more bright ideas?

[ CRIES ]

[ CRYING ]

Hey, who's crying

while i'm crying?

Sounds like it's coming from...

...over there.

[ CRYING ]

I will never

return to that horrible hotel.

The way the staff made fun of me

just for being rich.

[ CRYING ]

[ BLOWS NOSE ]

Hello. I'm Flapjack.

And i'm Captain K'nuckles.

Hello, Flapjack.

Hello, Captain.

My name is Wortherington --

Wortherington $ Moneybucks.

[ CHUCKLES ]

quite an expensive name you got there.

Excuse us for a second.

Uh, Flap, you got to be careful

with these rich types.

They don't like it when you beat around the bush.

So here's what we do -- we say,

"Hey, buddy..."

i was wondering if you could

spare me one of them dollars.

Oh, no!

You are rude, sir.

So very rude.

Sir, I give money away

all the time to my friends,

not to beggars, and that means you.

Now scamper away before I summon a constable.

I just wanted some money!

He gives money to his friends.

And he needs a place to stay.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Right this way, Wortherington.

I think you're gonna like Bubbie.

She's a great friend

and a great place to live.

What's this?

You actually live inside a whale?

Oh, that's --

Oh, that's absolutely biblical.

[ LAUGHS ]

Isn't he great, Bubbie?

Baby, what's going on here?

Well, let's see.

I guess it all started with the dock hag

and those pesky dock tickets.

No!

It's okay.

Wortherington...is our...friend.

Oh. So K'nuckles put you up to this.

Well, i'm sorry, baby, but we can't have

any more freeloaders staying here.

If he wants to stay, then he's got to pay.

[ LAUGHS ]

Madam, I can assure you,

I am no freeloader.

Now, let's see. Mm.

Change for a gazillion?

[ MUSIC ]

[ GROANS ]

My designer luggage!

He's really a gazillionaire?

Yeah, he is!

He blows his nose with money.

And here's the living room.

That's the dining room.

And this large indentation

is where Cap'n K'nuckles sleeps.

You've really captured the old-world charm

that everyone seems to be going for these days.

[ GROANS ]

Hey! Careful with my bags,

you weak fool.

I say, that is what I shall call you

from now on -- Fooly Weakums.

[ LAUGHS ]

Hey!

[ SLINK! ]

I love it!

[ SLOOP! ]

Anyway, as I was saying,

blah, blah, architecture,

blah, blah, money.

Hey. Fooly Weakums.

What?

You stack those bags nice, you hear?

I will, I will.

A wonderful tour, Flapjack.

A wonderful tour, indeed.

Now, if you'd please direct me to your powder room.

Our what?

Your powder room.

Changing station...

[ In French ]

I think he means the bucket.

The bucket.

[ LAUGHS ]

Ohh!

How provincial!

[ LAUGHS ]

Oh, I love it here, Fooly,

for this is where life happens.

[ LAUGHS ]

Good night, Flapjack.

Good night, Fooly.

You've both been so accommodating.

You too, Bubbie.

Thank you, Wortherington.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I think I shall retire.

Good night.

Aw, dock knockers.

We got to sleep outside?

I guess that's what he's used to.

Hmm. When's he gonna give us some money?

maybe he'll give us some tomorrow?

Maybe he needs a little help.

I don't know if this is gonna work, Cap'n.

Of course it will.

Just follow my lead.

Uh, hey, Wortherington,

me and Flapjack are gonna go get some food.

You want anything?

Ooh, yes! I'm famished.

All right, well, let's all chip in

so we can buy the food.

Good idea, Cap'n.

Now, let me get my money.

Oh, please, please.

Let me chip in.

Ah. Here we are.

[ MUSIC ]

Oh, wait.

What were we looking for?

we need money to get food!

Oh, nonsense.

I love to cook.

The recipients of this meal are so lucky

to taste such fine ingredients.

[ SQUISH! ]

[ SQUISH! ]

So lucky.

Here you are.

Both: [ GURGLING ]

Huh?

Francis! Kevin! Dinnertime!

[ BOTH GROWLING ]

W-w-what?!

Oh, you haven't met

Francis and Kevin.

Poppi got them to protect my possessions

Just as a precaution,

you know, with all the poor people

running around these days.

Oh, and speaking of poor people,

I made some pie for you both.

Here you are -- a slice of heaven

for each of you,

because that's what you have here --

so full of life.

[ GROWLS ]

Gee, this imaginary pie is terrible.

This whole situation is terrible.

Telegram! Comedy telegram!

- Hi, Lolly. - Hi, Flapjack.

Hey, do you know a Wortherington $ Moneybucks?

Yeah.

Well, I have a comedy telegram

from his poppi.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

"Dear son, returning tomorrow.

Stop.

Can't wait to see you.

Stop.

If you'd like to tip me,

don't stop."

That's it?

[ SIGHS ]

Yes.

Flap, this is great.

When that kid's poppi shows up,

he's sure to give us money.

All we have to do is hang in there till tomorrow.

You hang in there, Fooly Weakums.

We'll be picking through

the candy barrel's garbage in no time.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ FARTS ]

[ GROANS ]

When's poppi getting here?

K'nuckles, hush!

The little twerp is sleeping.

Oh, look at me.

I need quiet when I sleep

because i'm rich, blah, blah.

Yeah.

I'm so rich that I make up

names for people. Fooly Weakums.

Fooly Weakums, Fooly Weakums,

do everything for me,

'cause i'm too rich to know

how to do anything.

[ LAUGHTER ]

No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

I'm so rich that I can't even afford

to know how to treat people right.

[ LAUGHTER ]

My name's Wortherington,

- and i'm a big jerk. - Enough!

Wortherington.

You were making fun of me.

No, no, no, you don't understand.

Tell him, Flap.

We thought you were asleep.

Well, I wasn't.

I was...in town buying you

this friendship card.

[ MUSIC ]

Any money in it?

It's rude to talk about money, sir.

No, it's rude to blow your nose with it, sir.

Well, it's rude to pretend to be somebody's friend

just so they'll give you money.

Well, it's rude to know that someone's

pretending to be your friend for money

and then not give them money!

Enough!

Poppi?!

- Both: Poppi? - Poppi.

You can put me down now.

Poppi, what are you doing here?

I heard you were having trouble

at the hotel and that these nice people

took you into their home.

Naturally, I arrived with this medium-sized chest

of riches to give to them,

for that is the Moneybuckses' way.

Go ahead, sir!

Give them their money!

Poppi, you can't.

They were cruel to me.

And besides,

they're poor.

That's enough!

This is not how the Moneybuckses

treat people who take them in.

Why, these people are richer

than us -- not in money,

but in character.

Please, accept this medium-sized chest of riches.

I only hope it can ease the pain

my son has caused you.

[ MUSIC ]

Both: Ooh.

- Poppi, no-o-o! - Quiet, you!

We're taking you straight to boarding school.

Hyah!

Come on, Mule.

Hold it!

Both: Huh?! What?!

This should just about cover

your dock tickets.

Have a nice day, boys.

[ LAUGHING ]

Well, at least we can go to the candy barrel.

Right, Cap'n?

I lost my appetite.

[ LAUGHS ]

Oh, Fooly Weakums.

[ MUSIC ]