Original subtitles

Hello, bees.

You've made me lots of lovely honey.

(Buzzing)

Here I come.

You clever bees.

Brabinger, look! The honey flow has started.

Bravo, madam. Bravo, bees!

Hold that while I take these things off.

What a good idea this was, Brabinger.

Oh, thank you, madam. What for?

I thought making honey was one of my better ideas of yours, madam.

Well...it doesn't matter who thought of it.

It's a cottage industry reborn.

A source of income and independence.

From now on, our financial worries are over. Really, madam?

There doesn't seem to be very much. But out of little acorns do great oaks grow.

It isn't only honey. We can make mead and sell that.

And then we can use the beeswax to make some candles.

Is there a big demand for candles nowadays, madam?

Yes, of course there is. We're always having power cuts.

And what about the church? Remind me to talk to the rector.

Now I'll hold that while you get the extractor working.

That's a bullfinch, I think.

Do you know what the divorce rate is now?

Yes.

It's a bullfinch.

Oh, it's gone!

It says here that one in three marriages end in divorce.

There's a thrush. Song or mistle?

They marry too young.

The thrush is a member of the passerine family. What's passerine?

They should wait.

Who? The people who get married.

Till they are about 45...46...

The mistle thrush sings before and during a storm.

Did you know that?

You should listen and not ask silly questions.

Oh, there's a starling.

I said listen. Yes, Mother.

Now, you cannot expect a woman to take an interest in her husband's business.

So you must take up a hobby,

one that she can share.

Like...beekeeping.

Beekeeping? Hours of fun you could have together.

You're not very subtle, Mother.

Everybody knows that Audrey has just turned her garden into an apiary.

Oh, no, no, no, no. She has got beehives.

Oh, look, there's a yellowhammer.

Now you should have a hobby like that.

Now, what do you think this is?

Bird-watching. Well, it's much safer than bees.

Guess...who lent me this book.

You are going bird-watching together.

Oh, good! You approve of that?

Well, of course you know how I feel about you and Audrey.

Who said anything about Audrey? Marjory lent me the book.

Marjory?

(Chuckles) Yes, I seem to be rather... popular with her.

Oh, be careful, Bedrich.

She is setting her cap at you, that one.

What's wrong with that? You want me to get married.

Yes, but not to Marjory Frobisher.

Audrey is the one for you.

What's that over there?

Oh, it's a bee.

No, it's not. If's a bird.

I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before.

(Buzzing) Keep still, Bedrich. If's on your arm.

What? Oh, buzz off. Go home! Don't shout. It doesn't like noise.

Ow! Ooh!

Damn that woman! She's sending her bees over here to sting me.

Oh, Bedrich, don't be so silly.

You wait until you get stung. Don't just sit there.

Get me an onion or something. Antihistamine. Anything.

(Mrs Poo groans)

Oh, hurry up, Brabinger.

It won't budge, madam. It hasn't been used for years.

Thought you were going to clean it up. I was washing the honey jars, madam.

Not much point in washing honey jars if you haven't any honey.

Let me try.

Mm. That's delicious. Try some.

Ooh, yes, madam. It's very nice.

It's no good. It's stuck solid. Have a little more honey, madam.

Thank you, Brabinger.

Really is very good. Mm.

Well, we've made a start. From now on, we can only expand.

Especially if we keep eating the honey, madam.

We don't want you to get stuck in the front door like Winnie the Pooh.

Ooh.

You are soaking the labels off? Oh, yes, madam. Especially this one.

"Cavendish Natural Honey." “Natural”, my foot.

We've got the real thing.

We'll put Cavendish out of business. Yes, madam.

Oh, look at that bird, Brabinger. Isn't it pretty?

Yes, madam.

What is it? I've no idea.

We'll try and keep it. We'll put something on the bird table.

Anything else, Miss Frobisher? No, thank you.

A lot of special offers on this week.

Jams, marmalades...

You know I don't like shop jam. I make my own.

Lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes... I grow those.

Tea, sugar, honey... I'l have a jar of honey.

That I can't manage. -Oh, I can.

From now on, you get your honey from me.

Are you in production now? Yes, we took our first honey this morning.

Well done.

That'll be £3.50, Miss Frobisher.

I'l pay at the end of the month as usual.

I may not be here at the end of the month,

with all these do-it-yourselfers putting me out of business.

It's called free enterprise, Mrs Patterson. It put the "Great" into Great Britain.

Some of us would say it put the "U" into bankruptcy.

No-one should be afraid of competition.

Now...what did I come in for?

Oh, yes. Have you any nuts for the birds?

You mean one of these? Oh, yes, that's right.

There's a pretty bird in the garden I want to stay.

What is it? I don't know.

It may not be a nut-eater. Put some dripping out as well.

Half a pound of dripping, please, Mrs P.

You'll have to go to the butcher's.

Oh. A tin of tuna fish, then.

For the bird? No, for Brabinger. He's very fond of it.

Can't think why.

One tuna fish. Still at the old price, that.

Oh, I'll take two in that case.

And a tin of tomatoes. They're still at the old price, too.

Oh, good. I'll have two of those, then.

Two tuna. Two toms.

I've got some shrimp pâté at the old price if you're interested.

Very much so. I'll have three of those. Three shrimp.

Aren't you being rather extravagant?

You should always bulk buy before prices go up.

They're not going up. They're coming down.

Oh, look! Brabinger's put up the notice.

Oh, it's awfully good, Brabinger.

"It's the real thing."

Haven't I heard that before? Yes, madam.

It's a phrase you used earlier today.

Oh, well, that's all right, then. But what comes after "also"?

For when we get into full production, madam.

Aud, you're going to make a fortune. That's the general idea.

Oh, look. There's that bird again.

MARJORY: It can't be.

Well, what is it?

I must see Richard!

Why? He's got my bird book.

Harlequin plumage. Blue and green feathers. Chestnut head.

Oh, Richard! I was right.

-It is. Is what?

Merops apiaster. -Em...

The bee-eater.

(Laughs) Oh, good. I'm very glad to hear that.

Why?

I like anything that's fond of bees for supper.

Oh, poor Richard. Is it awfully painful?

Awfully. How rare is it?

Not very. People get stung all the time.

No, the bird. Oh, sorry.

Very rare in this country. Too far north.

Where did you see it? In Audrey's garden.

Oh, no. Yes. Why?

Well, it'll find plenty there to eat, won't it?

Oh, gosh. Audrey won't like that.

No, but our friend Merops apiaster will love it.

Richard, we've got to protect it.

Well, i's in no danger from me.

No, I mean from the egg-collectors and the bird-watchers.

Once it gets on the twitchers' grapevine, they'll all be here.

Twitchers?

Oh, people who go round the country watching rare birds.

A few years ago, we had a Cetti's warbler here

and we had to mount a 24-hour guard.

That seems a lot of trouble to go to for two or three twitchers.

Two or three? More like 300. Just to look at a bee-eater?

Oh, yes. You may have to fence off the whole area.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to make sure nobody got to hear about it?

Oh, obviously we won't tell anyone. Except the people who are guarding it.

They'll have to know, but nobody else.

Oh, hello, Marjory.

I didn't know you were here. Oh, hello, Mrs Poo.

Guess what. We've got a bee-eater here.

Where? We don't know where exactly,

but I think it's nesting in Dingle Bottoms.

This Beefeater is going to build a nest?

Not Beefeater, Mother.

Bee-eater. It's a very rare bird.

It hasn't been seen in this country for years.

And we're going to watch over it, together.

You and Marjory?

Well, I'm afraid we won't be able to do it alone.

We'll have to ask for volunteers.

It seems a lot of fuss just for a bird.

Oh, it's not just a bird. It's the eggs and the nest and the fledglings and everything.

Oh, it's terribly exciting, isn't it, Richard? Terribly.

I have to go to the shop. Is there anything you want, Bedrich?

No, thank you, Mother. I've got everything that I want.

Now don't forget what I said.

Be careful. Oh, I always am, Mother.

Well, goodbye, Marjory.

I don't suppose you'll be here when I get back.

Oh, goodbye, Mrs Poo.

Right. Now...

What were we talking about? Oh, gosh, I can't remember.

Oh, yes, it was about how we mustn't tell anyone about the bee-eater

because the twitchers will get to hear about it

and they'll be here in their hordes, trampling all over the estate

and if that happens, we'll set up a 24-hour guard like we did with the Cetti's warbler

and you'll have to make a ring fence to keep everybody out.

Ring fence?

Er... Well, it may not be necessary... provided we keep it a secret.

It's too late, I'm afraid. We've already told Mother.

I've got a lot of special offers this week, Mrs Pavlova.

Polouvicka.

That's right.

Jams? Marmalades?

Oh, no. No, thank you. We use our own make.

What about yogurt? You always say I have the best.

Oh, I knew there was something. How many? Still at the old price.

No, I don't want to buy any.

I just want a pint of long-life milk.

No, yogurt? Oh, I make my own now.

I might as well close down.

Don't do that. I enjoy coming in here for our little chats.

Well, I've certainly got plenty of time for that with everybody growing their own food.

Did you know Mrs Fforbes had gone in for honey?

Yes, I know.

My son was stung by one of her bees.

How did he know? It hurt.

But I think he's feeling better since he heard about the bee-eater.

What's a bee-eater? It's a bird. Very rare.

They say it may make a nest in Dingle Bottoms.

Dingle Bottoms.

That's not too far away. For what?

So it can have a good feed of Mrs Fforbes' bees!

(Laughs) Can I help you?

Er...a packet of bee-eaters, please.

I mean...beef burgers.

Oo-ooh! We've got a very rare African visitor.

He would come when I'm busy.

No, it's your bird.

Oh, yes, what did you discover in the book? It's a bee-eater.

I've reported it Merops apiaster - to the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.

They're sending a caravan. What?

They're sending a caravan.

No, Marjory, what did you call the bird?

Merops apiaster. No, the other name.

A bee-eater. That's what I thought you said.

Isn't it exciting!

Am I right in supposing that a bee-eater eats bees?

Well, bound to. That's probably why it's called a bee-eater.

It doesn't seem to have occurred to you that I am a beekeeper

and that your bee-eater is going to eat the bees which I as a beekeeper keep.

Why, I suppose it is just possible.

It's more than just possible it's highly probable.

You don't call a bird a bee-eater if it lives on asparagus.

Well, it may not want to eat your bees in particular.

I mean, any old bee would do.

It's already taken a fancy to my garden.

Now we know why. It's after my bees.

I do think you're being selfish. It's the sighting of the century.

We've got to find the rest of them. The rest of them?

Yes. If one's been seen, it usually means there's a group.

Two or three nesting pairs, with any luck.

Oh, they'll be nesting in my garden, will they?

No, they'll be nesting in Dingle Bottoms.

That's only a few hundred yards from here.

As the crow flies, yes. And as the bee-eater flies.

They'll be hopping over here at mealtimes.

Bringing their starving fledglings for their first taste of bee.

I shan't have a bee to my name.

The thing is, we've got to organise, um...

a 24-hour guard.

What on earth for? To protect the bee-eater.

You don't think I'm interested in protecting your bee-eater?

Well, I thought you might be interested. It's the sort of thing you usually take charge of.

I don't feel inclined to guard some bird

that spends its whole life wolfing down my livelihood.

Oh, well. Richard and I will have to do it on our own.

You and Richard?

Yes. He's awfully keen on bird-watching. -Is he?

Oh, yes. He's building a fence and taking part in the 24-hour vigil and everything.

Well, I'd love to help, Marjory, but...

You must see it from my point of view.

I go to all this trouble, make the investment, set everything up

and I'm just about to make a little money from my bees and what happens?

We get a plague of bee-eaters.

Hardly a plague. And it is an endangered species.

I am an endangered species.

(Knocking) Oh.

Might be a customer.

Oh, good afternoon. I'm afraid I'm only taking orders at the moment.

What? Orders for honey.

It isn't ready yet. Oh, I haven't come for honey.

Didn't you see the notice? Yes, I saw the notice.

But I don't want honey. I want to know the way to Dingle Bottoms.

Oh, well, if you... We're awfully sorry.

We're strangers here ourselves.

What are you doing? He's a twitcher. Someone's talked. Sh.

It's all right. He's going.

It is not all right at all. I might have sold him some honey.

He wasn't interested in your honey. He's after the bee-eater.

Well, that's it. They'll be out in full force now.

How many do you think there'll be? Several dozen according to the RSPB.

We're going to have a crowded weekend.

To get to Dingle Bottoms, they have to go past here, don't they?

Yes. Best to allow only one route.

Oh, yes, much the best.

Come and meet my bees. We'll see if they've made more honey.

No, I must go and organise everything and alert the Brigadier.

I'l be back tomorrow.

Hello, bees. It's all right. I've brought a friend to see you.

Now, they've made me lots of lovely honey.

(Buzzing)

See how busy and productive they are.

We won't let those nasty bee-eaters harm you, will we?

Oh, dear. I shouldn't have said that.

Oh, don't be silly. Bees can't hear.

Of course they can. That's why you have to tell them things.

Tell them what things?

Births and deaths in the family, for instance.

It's bad luck not to tell the bees.

I forgot to tell the bees at the manor when Marton died.

That's why I lost Grantleigh.

Gosh, you don't believe that, do you? implicitly.

Bees are very mysterious.

Did you know you mustn't exchange them for money?

What did you buy these with? Two gold rings.

Ooh! Oh, don't do that.

I don't want it to sting me. They only sting if frightened or angry.

You're perfectly safe as long as you don't look nervous.

Provided that you're virtuous and sober.

Can't tell, can they? Of course they can.

People who lead lives of drunken lechery are frequently stung without provocation.

Richard got stung yesterday.

There you are, then.

Lovely honey. Ooh!

What's wrong? I've been stung.

Where? On my leg. Ooh, it hurts!

I'll put some ammonia on. You'll be all right.

I thought you said I'd be safe.

You certainly ought to be.

Marjory, what exactly have you and Richard been doing?

Ooh.

Right. Where are those damn birds?

Lord knows. Until we find out, we don't know where to fence.

Better do a recce.

Are we looking for something, sir? A bee-eater.

A what? -A bird.

What's it look like?

Bright green, red, yellow and purple feathers. And a long tail.

Oh, that chap.

Have you seen one? I've seen half a dozen of them.

Where? Here.

Well, where are they now? There.

Ned, get the working party organised. Rightio.

Wait. Don't move.

At 11 o'clock, unidentified face lurking in undergrowth.

That's not the time.

There. Look. It's a damn twitcher. Grab him, men.

Do you realise you're trespassing?

Sorry about that. Anxious to get these birds protected, you see.

Don't try that on with me. You're a twitcher.

I'm the county officer for the RSPB. Cadwallader's the name.

Then why were you lurking in the undergrowth?

At twenty past ten. I thought you might be twitchers.

God forbid! We're going to fence the area in.

Oh, sorry. I'm Richard DeVere. This is Brigadier Lemington.

I've heard of you, of course.

First we must find out where these birds are nesting

and then I'll show you where to put your fences.

Then we'll arrange for a hide. Then we'll mark the routes to and from.

Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton's Bee-eater Honey.

Is that a very appropriate name, madam?

Oh, very. We'll have a lot of customers for this.

How can you be so sure, madam?

A little bird told me. (Doorbell)

Oh, shop, Brabinger.

Fforbes-Hamilton one.

Bee-eater...

How many jars, Brabinger? None, I'm afraid, madam.

There seems to be a deputation.

I've sent them into the drawing room.

I'd better have a word with them, then. Thank you.

Good afternoon, Rector. Brigadier. Hello, Audrey.

Audrey, this is Mr Cadwallader, the county officer for the RSPB.

Yes, we've already met. How do you do?

How can I help you? I'm organising the bee-eater patrols.

Yes?

We're one short.

We're hoping you'll agree to join us. I said I was sure you would be.

But you know how I feel about this bee-eater bird.

It's not even English. I think it should be deported.

Can't do that. Probably some law against it.

Mr Cadwallader may be able to set your fears at rest.

He's found the nests.

Nests? Just three pairs.

The young are towards the end of the fledgling period.

I suspect they'll be on their way soon.

Fed and fattened on my bees.

Curiously enough, bee-eaters don't like bees, not in quantity.

They prefer something smaller. Except for wasps. They're fond of wasps.

Why isn't it called a wasp-eater? Ah... (Chuckles)

That's one of those down-to-earth questions you ladies often ask.

To which you men frequently have no answer.

Very true.

But it does rather alter the situation, doesn't it?

I'm not sure that it does.

The presence of a bee-eater confers great prestige and fame upon the estate.

Indeed, one might say, upon us all.

It behoves us to repay its trust in choosing us as its hosts.

Nonsense, Rector, it chose us because of my bees.

By the way, I want to talk to you about candles.

Candles? For the church.

I'll make them from my beeswax $0 you can buy all your candles from me.

That's a diocesan matter.

Well, I'l supply the diocese as well - and the cathedral.

Er, could we get back to the purpose of our visit?

Yes, Audrey, we can't manage without you. We've made up a roster.

Sentries posted in pairs. Draw for partners and times.

We'll give you first go. I don't think I can commit myself yet.

Oh, come on, Aud. Noblesse oblige.

Oh, very well, Marjory. As long as the time suits me.

The watch periods are in here if you'd care to draw one.

Saturday night. Midnight to 6am. But that's a night shift.

Draw for partners.

I really don't think I can sit in the middle of a field with...

Richard DeVere.

Well, perhaps you're right, Marjory. One should do one's duty, shouldn't one?

Well, you did say you could persuade her, Brigadier.

Yes, I was pretty confident.

Can't have people like Audrey not pulling their weight. Sets a bad example.

She only agreed because she picked Richard.

Oh, come now, Marjory. Let's see who else she could have got.

Saturday midnight to 6am.

With...Richard DeVere?

Saturday midnight to 6am.

Richard DeVere.

Richard DeVere.

They're all the same. Old Intelligence trick.

Every man has his weakness. And vice versa, of course.

(Chuckles)

I think it's a dirty trick!

Mm.

Time's up, gentlemen.

Or is it ladies? Can't tell these days.

Next pair, Rector.

First two, please. Thank you.

We'd better start hurrying them along now.

Yes, before the light goes.

2000 hours. Due to be relieved.

Ah, here they come.

Evening, Brigadier. We're not late, are we?

On the dot. Rather like changing the guard, isn't it?

Yeah...not like Buckingham Palace, though.

Is it, Christopher Robin?

Hello, Richard. Hello.

How's it going? All under control.

Good work, Brigadier. (Ned shouting)

Come on, then, get out!

Caught a couple of them skulking in here, sir.

No, no, no, Ned. That's the hide. They're supposed to be in there.

Leave them alone. Oh, rightio.

Get back in there and don't come out until I tell you!

Hello, everybody. Welcome to Grantleigh.

I hope you're being taken care of all right.

If I'd have known the bee-eaters would be so popular, I'd have made a small charge...

for the RSPB, of course.

(Scoffs) It's a right rookery nook as it is.

I beg your pardon?

The way you're cashing in on this bird.

We're not selling anything. No souvenirs or anything of that sort.

What about the honey?

Where'd you get that? On the way up here.

Damn woman wouldn't let us through the gate unless we bought a jar.

What woman? Your lodge-keeper woman.

Excuse me.

That will be two pounds.

Two pounds a jar. Yes.

Brabinger! Is Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton at home? She's in the kitchen, sir.

Thank you.

Bee-eater honey.

Only two pounds a jar.

Ah, may I come in?

Oh, hello, Richard.

I see the bee business is booming. Yes. Positively buzzing.

Well done, Audrey. You're a woman after my own heart.

Really? Really.

Em..I..

I see that we've...drawn each other for sentry go tonight.

Yes.

The witching hour of midnight.

Yes.

Right up until six in the morning. Yes.

Well, that'll give us an opportunity to...

To what?

Well, to talk.

About you and me.

There's so much I want to say to you and we hardly get a chance to be alone.

I look forward to it.

Really? Yes, really.

So you're beginning to regard me as a friend more than an enemy?

I think so. Will you stop sending your bees to sting me?

I'm sure it wasn't one of mine.

My mother thinks the world of you, you know?

I'm very fond of her.

Yes, she thinks that we ought to...

Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton's Bee-eater Honey. That's a very good brand name.

Yes, I think it has a certain je ne sais quoi.

Yes, it's very up-market.

Cavendish Natural Honey.

Just a moment!

This is my honey!

I'm selling it for 59p and you're sticking your labels on and selling it for two quid.

1, um, ran out of my honey, you see.

I mean...I've only got one hive

and the demand was so huge that I had to send Brabinger to your supermarket

to buy up all the jars of honey they had.

Audrey, I'm surprised at you! Yes, I suppose it is rather awful.

It's unbusinesslike. And... Unbusinesslike?

You should have come to me. I'd have let you have them wholesale.

We're running out of honey, madam.

Right. Well, come on. Don't hang about.

Don't miss the chance of a sale. Help me stick your labels on.