Original subtitles

(Footsteps)

Ah, good evening, Brigadier.

Hello. Been away? Head Office for the day.

Ah, Taunton. London, unfortunately.

If I ran my business the way they run the railways, I'd be bankrupt.

Seen this? Station's closin' down.

Ah. Well, it doesn't surprise me. There can't be much traffic on this line.

That's not the point.

(Horn toots)

Aren't you going to miss your train? No, not goin' anywhere.

Oh. You meeting someone?

In a manner of speakin'. My Stilton.

Stilton? Cheese, you know.

Always have it sent down from Jermyn Street.

Can't you buy it locally?

Yes, if you like it cut info little triangles and sealed in plastic.

Useless. Can't get the port in.

Er...you shouldn't put port into Stilton, you know.

Why not? My father did. So did m'grandfather.

Both lived to be 90.

It's these wretched supermarkets, you Know.

Oh. Sorry.

Forgot you were a... in the...

Anyway, it's damn serious.

What is? Closin' down the station.

Evening, Brigadier. Your Stilton's arrived.

If you wouldn't mind signing for it, sir.

Hello, Richard. Were you on the train? Hello, Marjory. Yes.

I'm sorry, I didn't see you.

I go second class, I'm afraid. Not like you.

Did I collect your ticket? Oh, no. I'm terribly sorry.

No, no. It's all right. As long as you got one.

No wonder they're closing the station down.

Are they? Well, what will everybody do?

Well, I shall get a helicopter. Gosh! Will you really?

Only thing to do.

I thought they were dreadfully expensive.

Yes, dreadfully. Look, er, can I give you a lift?

Well, actually, I'm expecting...

Oh, yes, please. Good. Come on, then.

That was Audrey. Yes.

She's missed that train.

She was coming to meet me, actually.

Really?

(Laughs) Oh dear, oh dear.

Evening, Brigadier. Evening. You've missed the train.

I'm supposed to be meeting Marjory.

She was here just now. Must have gone off with DeVere.

Doesn't she realise how much this thing costs to run?

What does it do? About ten to the gallon?

I've no idea. Brabinger takes it to Marlbury Motors.

He's been doing that for 50 years.

Last week they insisted on cash before they'd fill it up.

Good Lord.

No sense of service.

You know they're closin' down the railway?

What railway? This one.

Station's closin' down.

We can't allow that. What are you doing about it?

Me? Well...

Brigadier, you leave this to me. We'll show them whose railway this is.

If your price comes down I shall personally recommend Mr DeVere to buy.

Of course he does. My every word.

You'll phone be back? Well, don't leave it too long.

IfI ran my business the way they run their lives, I'd be bankrupt.

WOMAN: Good evening, Mr DeVere.

Evening, Mr DeVere. Evening, Spalding. Any messages?

Nothing I couldn't handle. And did you?

Did I what? Handle them.

Yes. I've got a list. Tomorrow will do.

I want to talk to you about something. Oh, good. What is it?

Have you had any luck in finding a site for our new supermarket?

No. I'm still looking. I've found the ideal place.

Where? Marbury station. It's closing down.

Marlbury station. That's a perfect site.

Good access, right on the edge of the village.

Parking. Platforms ready-built for loading. What more could one want?

It'll knock 50% off the building costs.

You get things moving. With luck, we can buy it before anybody hears about it.

Congratulations, Mr DeVere.

Oh, thanks very much.

Thanks very much.

Miss Frobisher, madam.

Morning, Aud. Morning.

Caught the train all right, then? Which train?

The six o'clock last night. The one I met.

Oh, yes. I'm awfully sorry about that. I thought you'd forgotten.

Have I ever forgotten to meet you?

Well, no, but there I was, hanging around and...

Yes, hanging around DeVere. He just happened to be on the train.

You travelled together? No, unfortunately.

But we met at the station and he offered me a lift.

An offer you couldn't refuse, apparently.

Well, there was no sign of you.

I got held up at the level crossing. You might have waited another 60 seconds.

But no, let DeVere twiddle his eyebrows at you

and you jump into that Rolls like a lovesick schoolgirl.

Oh, don't be so silly, Aud.

Oh, he's buying a helicopter. How very vulgar.

Why? Lots of people have them.

Pop stars and jockeys, yes. Now, apparently, grocers.

Prince Charles uses one.

His belongs to the Queen's Flight. Quite different.

Anyway, the last thing we want

is DeVere zooming about and frightening the horses.

He promised me a ride in it. I hope you won't accept.

You're jealous.

I've got more important things on my mind.

Have you heard about the station closing down?

Yes. That's why Richard's buying a helicopter.

Typical. It's all very well for him. He can afford not to rely on trains.

Hark who's talking. You haven't been on a train for years.

And I've no intention of starting now.

But I have been known to do things for the common wheel, Marjory.

Now, has anybody asked us if they can close down our station?

I don't think they ever do, do they? We must organise a protest.

After all, I have to consider

my family's long association with the railways.

It's my duty as a shareholder.

How can you be a shareholder? The railways are nationalised.

I feel like a shareholder. Shareholding's in the blood.

Actually, they told us that now the railways belong to us.

And so they do.

And that land did belong to your family.

Exactly. We virtually ran the railways.

Efficiently, too.

My grandfather used to have his eggs timed by the passing trains.

If they were hard-boiled, he had the driver sacked.

What's more, we built that station. Our coat of arms is in the booking hall.

Is it? I've never seen it. Come with me, Marjory.

Where to? To see the rector.

He's a railway enthusiast.

Funny how church and steam go together.

The rector takes it a little too far.

He keeps a copy of Thomas The Tank Engine in his pew.

How do you know?

He was looking at it when I went up to read the lesson.

Where will he be today? He's at the hospital on Thursday.

In that case, he'll be teaching at the village school. I's Wednesday.

Well, this is something they can't close down.

I wish the ducking stool was still working. I'd love to have had a go.

100 years ago you'd have had plenty of goes.

Hark who's talking.

Uh-huh.

Yes. Very good, Robert.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

The smoke comes out of the top.

Oh. Now, is that supposed to be diesel, steam or electric?

-Mm? (Bell rings)

Oh well, that's it. Now, children, children, children.

Oh. (Children cheering)

"Playing David and Goliath" indeed. (Chuckles) Off you go.

Oh. Good morning, Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton. Miss Frobisher.

Good morning. Can you spare a minute? Yes. I've finished my art class.

Though it's not very successful, I'm afraid.

One would think that some children had never seen a railway engine.

The way things are going, they never will.

Have you heard about the station? I have.

It's outrageous. I've written a letter.

They won't take any notice of a letter.

No, Rector, we must organise a mass meeting

to demonstrate our opposition to British Railways.

It is called British Rail now.

Typical. The moment you get used to something, they change it.

Well, I think a protest meeting is an excellent idea.

We could hold it here. Oh, good.

I'l leave that side of things to you.

I've spoken to the brigadier. He's promised to help.

Marjory, you can see to the banners and slogans.

And ring everyone up and tell them what's happening.

What are you going to do? Research. I'm going on a train.

It's disgraceful. Decay and dilapidation everywhere.

And what has happened to our family coat of arms?

MAN: Next.

Oh, erm, one return, please. Where to?

Here, of course.

But where d'you want to go to in order to get back here?

Oh, I see what you mean. Taunton, the county library.

Oh, train doesn't go to the library. (Laughs)

Just part of your friendly branch-line service. Passengers love it.

Then why are you closing down?

Me and the chairman of British Rail decided it wasn't profitable.

You're not meant to be profitable. This is a service.

If people don't use the line... Well, I am using the line.

All these people are using the line.

Oh, and I'd like my seat back-to-the-engine, please.

You won't be very comfortable. It's a diesel.

Engine's under the floor.

Oh.

That's the authority for the area managers.

And a letter asking for tenders

for adapting Marlbury station to a cash-and-carry.

How's our property department getting on?

Any joy from British Rail yet? Not yet.

Well, shake them up. I don't want to lose that site to another buyer.

Anything else? Just this.

There's to be an emergency protest meeting at the village school.

What's it about this time? Closing the station.

I don't think we need concern ourselves with that.

There's a meeting to discuss it this evening.

"You are required to be there." Sounds like a royal command.

Who sent it? Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton.

It is a royal command.

She delivered it this morning. Borrowed a map of the estate.

She was on her way to the station.

Surely she can find her way there without a map.

No, she must be up to something.

I'd better attend this meeting. Might be wise.

Yes, I think it would be a diplomatic move in...view of the circumstances.

Very pleasant ride. Thank you so much. Bye.

Ah, you got back all right, then. Yes, thank you.

Good journey?

Do you have many passengers who are three foot high, weigh about 15 stone

and have slipped discs?

Not as far as I know.

I was wondering who the seats were designed for. It wasn't for me.

Oh, and there was a carriage missing.

The one with the Ladies Only compartment.

Oh, we haven't had one of them for years. It's all unisex now.

Ah, that would account for the announcer's voice at Taunton.

This station house must be the scruffiest in the county.

I did think of doing it up for The Best Kept Station competition

but there en't much point now. Why not?

Closing down, ennit? Oh, no, it's not closing down.

Been having a word with the chairman?

Not yet. But I can assure you I'm going to.

Er, ticket, please.

I suppose we'd better start.

I've called you together so we can plan our tactics for the protest meeting.

The first thing is to elect a chairman.

Here or at the meeting?

At the meeting. I'm the chairman here.

You'd make an excellent chairman at the meeting, too.

Thank you, but I want the chairman to call on me to speak.

I propose the rector. I agree.

Carried. Well, if everyone insists.

You'd better make some notes, Rector. One...

One. Call on me to speak.

What are you going to speak about? My railway journey.

Oh, yes, how was it? Enjoyed every minute.

I don't believe you. That line is well worth preserving.

I bet the train was late. Only ten minutes.

But it's polite to be ten minutes late.

Where is Mr DeVere? Are you sure he's coming?

I told him to.

Mr DeVere, madam.

Good evening, everybody. Evening.

It's your evening off on Thursday, isn't it?

Yes, madam.

Would you mind spending it in the school? We're having a protest meeting.

Very good, madam.

Sorry I'm late, but I was rather tied up. It is only ten minutes.

Oh, it's all right. It's polite to be ten minutes late.

Sit down, Richard.

I'm just going through the timetable.

Rector. Hm? Oh, yes.

Er... "One. Call on Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton to speak."

Two. Call on Miss Frobisher.

To speak? Certainly.

Well, what am I going to say? This. I've written your speech.

You are dealing with the unemployment aspects of the closure.

"The dole queues of Britain will swell with the untold legions..."

But Aud, there's only one man.

Yes, but he does do half a dozen different jobs.

Station master, porter, ticket collector, signalman, booking clerk.

You don't have to say they're all one man.

British Railways won't know any different.

Somebody from BR will be there? Yes. We've seen to that.

Three. Three. Call the brigadier. And here's your speech, Brigadier.

I say. Jolly efficient, yes?

"Effects of closure on the freight traffic.” Freight traffic?

The only freight they carry is my Stilton.

Sorry, Audrey. Here's your speech, Richard.

You've written one for me, as well?

It's better to have a single mind controlling this sort of thing.

You can draw attention to the underhand way they sprang the closure on us.

There's a bit about how the public won't know about it

until they arrive to catch a train

and find the station has been turned into a supermarket.

Oh, I... I think that's a bit far-fetched, don't you?

It's just a joke. I thought it would sound funny, coming from a grocer.

Well, I'd rather make up my own jokes.

As long as you back us to the hilt.

Oh, and sit somewhere conspicuous so the chairman can see you.

Oh, don't worry. I'll make sure I see you.

No, not you - the chairman of British Railways.

Beeching, or whatever his name is.

Knew a chap called Beeching once. RTO at Naples.

Same fellow, d'you think? I rather doubt it.

In any case, the present chairman of British Rail won't be there.

We could only get the area manager, I'm afraid.

Ah, there you are, Mr Lovejoy.

Sorry I'm late. Damn train. Frozen points.

How much?

That much?

Did you say...frozen points? Yes.

Doesn't happen often. Not in midsummer, anyway. What are they like?

Who? Well, this lot. The protestors.

Well, there's a parson. And a brigadier. And a female bossy boots.

Sounds like the usual form.

Right, let's get this show on the road.

Have you brought the file? Yes. Here it is, sir.

Is this all you've brought? It's all there is. And a few maps.

This isn't enough. We haven't anything more.

If we weren't closing this line, we'd never have heard of it.

But you've got to have stacks of bumf, even if it's only pages

from an old telephone directory. Gives you authority.

Look a tame bunch. They'll forget they ever had a station once it's closed.

Don't you mean IF it's closed, sir? It'll close, all right.

Come on. Let's get it over with.

So it is in the common interests, for the common good.

Indeed, one might say it is economic good sense

To rationalise the situation by closing the station.

No. Rubbish. Absolute rubbish!

Ladies and gentlemen, please.

(Protestations) Keep calm, I beg you.

Order!

Or...der!

Ladies and gentlemen, please.

There is nothing to be gained by this sort of uncivilised behaviour.

Now, we may feel aggrieved by the proposed closure of our station...

(Shouting out)

..but there is no call for personal abuse and animosity.

Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton, I believe you have a question for the Fat Controller.

I... mean...

Yes, I have. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, in all the years

that Britain has defended her shores against the invader

and soaked the sands with her warriors' blood,

we have become inheritors of the fighting spirit.

Hear, hear! Is this a question?

Eventually. There's always one of these Boadiceas.

As I was saying... Could you come to the point, madam?

The point is you may have closed down railway stations in the past

without any resistance,

but in the matter of our station you have met your Waterloo!

Yes! That's right!

Well done!

As I have tried to explain,

the viability of a branch line depends upon its income.

Fares have gone up and up and up.

It is true that periodic reassessment situations

have created a viability for new rates to apply.

You mean fares went up. They've been redefined, yes.

Went up. They've been revised.

Don't fob us off with all this jargon. Have fares gone up or haven't they?

I have to admit that they have. (Angry cries)

May we... May we please keep to the point?

We are here to discuss the closure of the station.

I just want to make it clear

that we will stop at nothing to force Dr Beeching to reverse this decision.

But, madam, Dr Beeching hasn't been chairman for years.

Typical. The moment we get used to something you change it.

She can't be as daft as she's making out.

D'you think she's up to something? I wouldn't be surprised.

Are you paying attention, Mr Lovejoy? I beg your pardon?

I refer you to the charter inaugurating this section of the railway.

When the railway company acquired the land from my family,

the freehold was granted conditionally upon certain rights.

To whit. "The rights to stop trains, to inspect the rolling stock

and to have the say of yay or nay

over all matters connected with the operation of the railway

for a period of 150 years."

She's got... She's got the damn charter.

In other words, Marlbury station cannot be closed down

without the yay or nay of the present lord of the manor, Mr Richard DeVere.

(Cheering)

Wherever did you get it? What?

That... that charter thing.

This isn't the charter. It's just pages from an old telephone directory.

Oh, you are clever!

After you.

(Sighs)

(Clattering)

MRS POLOUVICKA: Hello? Would you like some cocoa?

Mother, what on earth do you think you're doing?

I thought you were a burglar.

Well, is that how you greet a burglar? "Hello. Would you like some cocoa?"

No, of course not. But...would you?

Would I what? Like some cocoa.

No, thank you.

Well, what are you doing up down here?

I... I couldn't sleep. It's three o'clock in the morning.

I've been lying awake trying to think of a way out of this station mess.

Mess? What mess?

We won, didn't we? Thanks to Audrey. She was wonderful.

She was certainly in pugnacious form.

She made mincemeat of them.

I'm beginning to understand why the Vikings who ravished these Englishwomen

got medals for bravery.

Ah.

Yes, I knew it would be in here somewhere.

What is it? The railway charter.

When Audrey didn't have it with her

I thought it must be in the estate archives.

Why do you want the charter?

Well, according to Audrey,

I'm the only person who can actually save the station.

And I must be the only person who doesn't want to.

You didn't say that at the meeting.

I was being diplomatic, Mother. You mean devious.

It's business, Mother.

So Audrey has put you on the spot, has she?

Yes, but I'm trying to get off it.

Er, now then. "..is hereby understood and agreed... 150 years..."

Date...

(Laughs) Well, it's just as I thought. What?

I've got her. What are you talking about?

Audrey and her station. You are not going to save it?

Oh, I'm going to save it. And turn it info a supermarket.

I'd better get on to my surveyors first thing in the morning.

Aah...

Bedrich!

Sorry, Mother.

Now pay attention, everybody.

Now that we've saved the station,

let's make sure we have a station worth saving.

Hear, hear.

Now...Marjory. You're a keen gardener

so take a team of people and go and weed the front.

Right. Everyone with garden tools, this way.

Er, carpenters. Any carpenters here?

Oh, good. You can mend the benches and see to any woodwork that needs repairs.

Now, can anyone fit panes of glass? Yeah.

Splendid. There's enough work to keep you busy for a week.

Now, ladies. Er...you can start sweeping the platform.

Now, we want people to rub down the paintwork before we start painting.

You two can do that. It's not a skilled job.

Er, excuse me, we're not here to paint.

I said "before we start painting".

Please listen. Painting is a skilled job.

We're surveyors. Nothing to do with your lot.

What are you doing here? We've come to do a survey.

Of what? This place.

You're getting a cash-and-carry. Oh, good.

Is that some kind of automatic porter?

The station is closing down.

I can assure you it is not.

It's being turned into a cash-and-carry.

Groceries at wholesale prices. Bulk buying for freezers.

Have British Rail gone mad? It's nothing to do with them.

Cavendish are buying it. Who?

Cavendish Foods.

They are buying the station? He is buying this station?

Well, not before he's heard a few home truths from me.

Oh, Aud, we need some weedkiller and a spray-gun.

What a good idea.

What about...?

Yes, I see. Yes, I do understand.

Thank you.

(Sighs) (Buzzer)

Spalding. Yes, Mr DeVere?

Will you come in here?

I have just had a call from British Rail.

They've discovered that a comprehensive school is being built nearby

so they're keeping the station open to service it.

Back to square one. Yes. Start looking for another site.

Call off the surveyors before they cost a fortune.

Yes, Mr DeVere.

Audrey. What can I do for you?

You can start by apologising. Have I done something wrong?

You've deceived me. You're a cheat, a liar and a double-crosser.

You don't stab people in the back. You stick the knife in face on!

Spalding, you can go.

You bring your dirty, money-grubbing tricks here

and expect to get away with it. You can go.

You pretend to champion our cause

while you're planning to turn our railway station into a cash-and-carry!

Whatever that is. You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself

You have been guilty of deception, sharp practice and fraud.

To name but three.

Why are you taking this all so calmly?

Because the station isn't going to close down after all.

It isn't?

They're keeping it open to service a new school.

After all the trouble I went to.

Look what I found in the estate archives.

The charter! I wish I'd had that.

It wouldn't have helped. It gives me all those rights for 150 years

but it's dated 13th September 1831.

I wouldn't have been able to keep the station open

any longer than the 13th of this month. Friday, to be precise.

Morning, Mr DeVere. Cutting it a bit fine, sir.

Don't want to miss the train.

I've been on the phone. I've found a new site for the cash-and-carry.

Where? I'll phone you from the London office.

Bedrich, you must not travel today.

Bedrich, listen to your periscope. Horoscope, Mother.

"Travelling arrangements could go awry."

And, my boy, is Friday the 13th. Yes, Mother.

Did you say the 13th? Yes.

In that case, there's no rush.

With respect, sir... No, no.

I've got all the time in the world.

Remember as a kid, Mother, I could never play with trains?

Would you get me the station, please?

Well, now as lord of Grantleigh Manor,

at least until midnight tonight... I'm entitled to do just that.

Only, with real...choo-choos.

Er... Oh, sorry. Er, could I speak to the person in charge?

(Metal clattering) AUDREY: Ow!

What's my family coat of arms doing propping open a cistern, Tom?

Oh, really, is that where it was? That place is disgusting.

You'd never get a woman writing that sort of thing in there.

And what's this train still doing here? It's blocking the light.

Waiting for a VIP.

Oh. Hello, Audrey. Hello, Richard. You're lucky.

If someone important hadn't been coming, you'd have missed the train.

It's going to look very nice. Thank you.

I'm sorry about your cash-and-carry.

I've found somewhere else for that. Oh, good. Where's that?

Now they're building a comprehensive, they're closing the village school.

I'm buying that. What?

Our lovely old school? Where countless hundreds of children...

Thought you'd be pleased.

But why?

(Keeps shouting)