All language subtitles for The.Drew.Carey.Show.S09E21.Love.Sri.Lankan.Style-ing

Hey.

Hey, Drew.

Mimi writing?

Oh, she's upstairs making herself pretty.

Have a seat.

We'll see if there's a miniseries on.

Knock it off.

Mimi's great.

Yesterday we went to this place where they
built houses for the poor.

We pretended we were inspectors and made
them do a bunch of stuff over again.

Sounds like you two were made for each
other.

I guess there's a key to every lock nest
monster.

Anyway, hey.

Two people so perfectly match and move in
together, don't you think?

I know you want her out
of your house, but we feel

this is special, and
we're gonna take it slow.

Okay.

But for today, today only,
if you get her out of my

house, I will throw in the
slightly used 32-inch color TV.

Hi.

Hi.

I got the name of somebody who can fix
your car.

We were making a memory and I kind of put
my foot through the rag top.

Great.

Now I have a memory.

Well, thanks for taking care of us.

Don't wait up.

Holy crap.

What?

It's a letter from Steve.

Oh, my God.

Where is he?

Well, it doesn't say there's no return
address, but the postmark is Youngstown.

There's a check and a note
that says he knows that Mimi

and Gus have been living here
and he wants to pay me back.

Well, it's about time
your jerk brother took

some responsibility
for running out on them.

Yeah, but your money
isn't gonna make up for me

having to see Mimi eat a
bologna sandwich and her bra.

Honey, you should have knocked before you
walked into the bathroom.

I wonder what he's doing in Youngstown.

He probably feels ashamed for what he did
and he's punishing himself.

Yeah, but Youngstown sounds like he killed
anybody.

Well, you know what?

If I could find him,
I could get him and

Mimi talking, maybe
they'd get back together.

No, honey, it's not that simple.

You know, Mimi and Larry are getting very
serious.

I am talking about putting a family back
together.

No, you were talking about getting Mimi
out of your house.

I can talk about two things at once.

Drew, Drew, look at me.

You have to promise me
that you are not gonna force

things with Steve and
Mimi just to get her out.

Hey, Steve!

Wake up, man!

You gotta get Mimi out of my house!

Drew.

Oh, my God.

Come in.

How'd you find me?

Wasn't easy.

I'd ask Mom.

Damn it!

I swore her to secrecy.

That's what she said, but then I promised
her a picture of Gus dressed as a pirate.

I haven't seen the little guy in so long.

Do you have the picture with you?

No, there isn't one.

This Halloween, he went dressed as Lizzie
McGuire.

You know, she would just blow that all out
of proportion.

So, what the hell is going on?

Why don't you run out on your wife and
kid, you selfish bastard?

I know.

I'm sorry.

Just after Dad died, I kind of freaked
out.

I had to figure out what I wanted in life.

Yeah, Dad's death affected me, too,
but you don't avoid your responsibilities.

I just didn't want my dreams to die with
me the way Dad's dead, so...

I traveled the world,
ended up in Sri Lanka,

buried the dead after
a Malaria outbreak.

I had to live with Mimi, and you got to
bury the dead?

That hardly seems fair.

Well, I'm back now, and I'm rebuilding my
life.

I'm the head cook of the Youngstown Public
School System.

Yesterday, one youngster
pulled a knife on another

youngster over the last
piece of my cherry cobbler.

Tragic.

You had a feather in my cap?

Well, got a nice place here, I'll tell you
that.

Hey, you know what, you know what looked
good in that corner right over there?

What do you call it, those... Oh,
yeah, your family.

Believe me, I would love to win Mimi back.

But after what I'd put her through,
I need to have something more to offer.

Stability, money in the bank.

Also, I'm getting a hair weave and taking
a Yohimbi root for male potency.

Well, you better haul ass, because she's
dating Larry Almana now.

Almana?

God, she used to hate that guy.

Yeah, well, now she's hating his brains
out two, three times a night.

I just don't think I'm ready to face Mimi.

Nobody is.

You know, it's like pulling off a bandage.

You just got to do it.

Will you talk to her, see if she's ready
to see me?

Yeah, it might be a good idea.

If you show up and announce,
you might just shoot you

and drag you inside and
say we're trying to break in.

And shoot you again.

She's pretty mad.

Thanks, man.

Yeah.

Hey, Fargot, you got any of that cobbler
left?

Yeah.

I want to taste the pie that's worth doing
a nickel and juvie for.

Your Tuppermate is in.

Oh!

You're such a good customer.

I threw in a free popsicle maker.

They always taste better when you make
them yourself.

You know, Louis, you're
always grumbling about

how much money we spend
on popsicles each month.

For the last time, they're dessert,
not a meal.

I am so excited about my butter dish.

You're gonna be a fun old lady.

If you host a party at your house,
I'll throw in a free pie tote.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying this makes ordinary pie
portable?

Tomorrow's here, people.

Well, think about it, Kelly.

Drew, this gal of yours is a real hoot.

She held two of our fresh-locked bagel
buddies up to her.

And then she pretended it...

Well, she'll tell you about it.

So, they're too sore for
me to touch, but they're

not too sore to stuff into
two plastic containers.

Well, plastic containers don't watch TV
over my shoulder.

See, these parties, a bunch of women come
to your house, drink, pay you money,

and give you their addresses and phone
numbers?

Perhaps this is something we should do.

You know, every time you say that,
it's never something you should do.

All right, what do you want, pig?

Got to talk to you for a second.

All right.

Pick it fast.

Meetin' Larry at the mini-golf course.

Gonna give him a little treat in the
windmill.

By the way, I don't think you should take
Guster anymore.

It's not a very wholesome environment.

I want to talk to you about Steve.

I told you.

I don't ever want to hear that man's name
again.

Okay, okay.

He's a name that won't set you off.

Millie from Millie Vanilli is working in
the school cafeteria in Youngstown.

He's really sorry.

I'd like to see you.

So I'm supposed to drop everything because
Millie from Millie Vanilli is back?

I don't think so.

He's Mimi.

Mimi's very sorry and he wants to get the
family back together.

I'm sorry.

It's too late.

Mimi, he's the father of your child.

Come up for Gus.

Fine.

I'll see him for the boy.

Geez, it brings up a bunch of bad
memories.

I gotta go clear my head.

You're going to the windmill, aren't you?

Some people meditate.

I like being slammed against the
fiberglass golf hazard.

And this elegant casserole tub has a
unique pop-up steam valve.

The seal stays on, so splatters stay in.

Thank you.

And now for the drawing of our door prize,
this lovely set of egg cozies.

What's your name, sweetheart?

Diane Westbrook.

Yeah, that's it.

Congratulations.

I'd be happy to bring you your prize.

Perhaps we could meet at a restaurant
halfway between your place and mine.

A concert.

Roller skating.

Whatever.

All right, guys, I have to say,
I'm very impressed.

You did a great job, except for the cake
and the shape of boobs.

That's more of a bachelor party thing.

Oh, okay.

I'll get that.

Look who thinks they can sell Tuppermaid
on my territory.

What do you mean, your territory?

All the plastic that moves through this
part of Cleveland goes through me.

That salad spinner's gonna hurt.

I can make selling Tuppermaid very
difficult for you.

It's already kinda difficult.

Can't remember the name of the bowls and I
get nervous in front of large groups.

Just so you know,
the four-quart snap and

seal is the perfect size
to hold a human head.

Just so you know, we're not going
anywhere.

But we're using that as a selling point.

Hey.

Drew, you better tell your buddies here to
get smart in a hurry.

Well, which one should I start with?

The one who thinks
the president's a robot or

the one we had a hot
dog he found in the park?

Consider yourselves warned.

We're not scared of you.

Yeah, after all, what kind of
men would you be if you let

women tell you how to sell
your little plastic food containers?

Hi, honey.

Guess what?

Mimi just called.

She just met with Steve.

She said it was a little tense,
but they had a really good talk.

Great.

Oh, you know, I just want her to be happy.

I'm gonna go throw her crap out in the
lawn.

Well, the Tuppermaid party's over.

Wanna go roller skating?

Hello, I am looking for Steve Gady.

Oh, he doesn't live here.

I found this address in one of his
notebooks.

Who are you?

I am Padma from Sri Lanka.

I am his lover.

I am Drew from Cleveland.

Holy crap.

We're, um, Steve's family.

So tell him.

Uh, how do you, uh, how do you know Steve?

Uh, we met at a movie.

They were showing the Patrick Dempsey film
Loverboy on a large sheet in my village.

My sheets have dinosaurs on them.

That would be distracting.

Yes, I think we can all agree that
distractions are annoying.

Please go on.

I found the movie predictable,
and my eyes wandered to Steve's huge,

beautiful bald head.

Our eyes met, and that night, on that very
same sheet, he became my loverboy.

You know, we went on and on about,
uh, burying the dead.

He didn't say what he did with the live
ones.

So, uh, does Steve know you're here?

It would be a surprise.

I'm going to live with him and have a
happy American life.

Hey, Padma, in your country, do people
wear big hats to the movies?

Because that's a big problem here.

Oswald, she came halfway around the world.

Certainly there's more important things we
can learn about her culture.

What kind of underwear are you sporting
under that crazy ghetto?

Hey, pig.

We got off to kind of a rocky start,
but I think we might get together.

Thanks for making me talk to him.

Who the hell's that?

I am Padma.

I am the lover of...
I'm Tuppermaid.

She's the, uh, number one Tuppermaid
salesperson in all of India.

Tuppermaid?

I've had your food.

I don't know who the hell'd want to save
it.

Anyway, Padma's here on a Tuppermaid
exchange program, and Oswald and Lewis are

just about to show around Cleveland,
weren't you guys?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we can, uh, take her on a roller
coaster at Cedar Point.

That way, when that thing
she's wearing, uh, blows

up over her head, we can
see what we're working with.

Uh, you're gonna love Cedar Point,
and after we've seen your panties,

we'll get corn dogs.

I am just here to see...
The Rocking Hall of Fame?

The Giant Rubber Stamp?

Don't worry.

We'll see it all.

Yeah, um, you know what?

Just to be safe, maybe I should just go
with her, you know?

Because in her culture,
if she's alone with

two men, it will bring
shame upon her family.

In any culture, being seen with these two
yokels would bring shame on your family.

Yeah, well, you know, you better get
going.

You know how crowded that Giant Rubber
Stamp gets at night.

Nice girl.

Yeah, you know, if it
works out between Steve

and me, maybe we
could fix her up with Larry.

Yeah, well, she does like bald guys.

What?

You know, Gandhi, Buddha.

I'm this close to shaving my head and
moving there myself.

You wanted to see me?

Yeah, we put in our
Tuppermaid order and they

said they were out
of stock on everything.

Curious, don't you think, Norah?

I wouldn't know anything about that.

Oh, well, sorry we asked you down here
then.

She's just being campy for evil effect,
you moron.

What's it gonna take to get our orders
filled?

I saw your order sheets.

You guys didn't do too bad for beginners.

Why don't we put this bickering aside and
you can come work for me.

I'll treat you real nice.

Can we get more brochures and cardboard
stand-up displays?

Anything you want, sweetheart?

You're working for Mama Nora now.

She makes me feel safe.

Let's do it.

All right, but if we get tired of the
life, we can always stop, right?

Sure, baby, sure.

Now, I've got some clients I want you to
meet tonight.

Be good to them.

They specifically asked for a two-man
show.

Hey, honey.

Hey.

Where's your burger?

Listen, I still think you should have told
Mimi about Padma.

No, I want to hear Steve's side of it
first, you know.

If this Padma's just some kind of a nut,
maybe Mimi and Steve can still work it

out, and then she can move out and he can
move in with me.

Come on, I move in with you.

We sleep in the same bed.

We have a little... before you know it,
I'm pregnant.

Come on, I worry about you out in that
converted garage all by yourself.

Especially with the converted garage
killer on the loose.

Wow, that's a very specific kind of
killer.

Well, he doesn't have any victims yet, but
he's made his intentions pretty well known.

I told you I will move in with you when
there's room.

And the next step is marriage,
right?

I guess.

Uh-huh.

No.

No, uh-huh.

You didn't trap me.

No, I will.

I didn't trap yet.

But you're caught in my web,
and then you're struggling,

and then you get exhausted,
and that's what I propose.

I mean, it's good luck.

What's so important, Drew?

I had to leave a school board meeting.

It was about the kabobs I put on the menu
last Friday.

Apparently, 5,000 pointy wooden sticks in
a racially divided school is a bad idea.

It's about Padma.

My Padma?

I'm not sure.

It's a common name in Cleveland.

Mimi met her.

Oh, my God.

Did Padma suffer, or was it quick?

I covered for you.

She doesn't know anything about the
affair.

She just met her.

What's going on with you two?

We were nothing more than two lonely
people looking for comfort on a sheet,

under the moonlight,
until the villagers needed

their sheet back for
the 11 o'clock show.

The main thing is, I now realize what's
important.

My wife and son.

Okay, okay, okay.

I won't tell Mimi about Padma, but you gotta
promise me that it's over with you two.

Absolutely.

I can virtually guarantee it.

Virtually?

You're gonna have to do better than that.

Okay, you can't cheat on Mimi again.

Luz and Oswald sold her
a Tuppermaid container

that's the perfect
size for human head.

I am not going to lie to Mimi.

As a matter of fact, I'm gonna tell her
all about Padma and me.

I will make Mimi understand that I love
her.

But Padma came halfway across the world
from me.

I can't just desert her.

Well, when you tell her all this stuff,
just make sure you're drinking iced tea.

Why?

I told him to ask for iced tea.

Look, they're obviously
having some trouble, but

it's complicated when
there's an ex involved.

You think I still have a shot?

Hey, she just boiled her ex-husband's
genitals.

I think that makes you the front runner.

Fine, you say you're not ready to take me
back, but I know your tea is usually

hotter than that, and that tells me
something.

My damn story took so long, the water
cooled.

Look, even if we can't
be together, I still intend

to support my family
and be a father to Gus.

Fine, the kid deserves a daddy.

It's the least you can do.

I could teach him how to make my famous
cherry cobbler.

After you left, he
traded his doll collection

to a girl in his class
for a soccer ball.

I kinda like to keep the train on that
track.

You know, I made those dolls myself.

I know.

That's why I went and bought him back from
the girl, in case she ever came back.

All right, go ice your junk, you big Mary.

Hey, you all right?

Yeah.

I kinda wanted that to work out, but
I think I did the right thing, didn't I?

Yeah, yeah, you did.

Hey, you know, if
you really want to stick

with us, Steve, you
would move in with Larry.

And if you act right now, I'll throw in a
32-inch color TV.

Hey, Mimi.

Hey.

Come on, look at you two.

Why find it?

You're made for each other.

I'll go get a truck.

We'll have you moved out of here by
midnight.

Well, maybe we could start with a game of
miniature golf and see how that goes.

I don't think you and I can go back to
mini-golf.

Oh, I see.

No, no, no.

We'll get arrested.

They posted our pictures right near the
little pencils.

What about behind the pin-setting machine
at the bowling alley?

Ooh, you're on.

Yeah, and after you have sex at the bowling
alley, we'll move the hell out of here.

Welcome to Youngstown, the jewel of
Northern Ohio, a great place to raise a

family full of beautiful landmarks like
the Butler Institute of American Art,

the Mahoning County Courthouse,
and, of course, the beloved center of our

community, a 2,600-acre Mill Creek Park,
serviced by 30 miles of paved road.

Within its boundaries are two 18-hole golf
courses, three lakes, a working grist

mill, fellow's riverside gardens,
Morley Entertainment Pavilion,

and a silver suspension bridge.

Yes, there's something for everyone in
Youngstown.

Older Young.

Youngstown is your town.

Thanks for watching.