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1
00:00:00,890 --> 00:00:01,890
Is this your card?
2
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,370
No.
3
00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:06,070
Is this your card?
4
00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:07,490
No.
5
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:10,090
Is this your card?
6
00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:11,270
Probably nuts.
7
00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:14,510
Is this your card?
8
00:00:14,970 --> 00:00:15,970
Yes!
9
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,030
Ta-da!
10
00:00:17,170 --> 00:00:19,490
You can't go through your 20 cards and
then say ta-da.
11
00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:21,966
Hey Kelly, what's your card?
12
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:24,770
Oh, I would, honey, but I have to start
working an hour.
13
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:28,230
Look what I found on my windshield.
14
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:30,910
Like this city needs another strip club.
15
00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:32,390
Oh, a nerd.
16
00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:36,150
Those places take advantage of desperate
women.
17
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:36,750
I know.
18
00:00:36,890 --> 00:00:37,890
I was one of them.
19
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,790
You never even got on stage.
20
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:41,510
You just clutched your robe and cried.
21
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:46,811
Which is fine for the beginning of a
routine, but it really needs to go somewhere.
22
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:49,290
Hey, look at this.
23
00:00:49,610 --> 00:00:50,190
An omelet bar.
24
00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:51,290
Oh.
25
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:54,150
Listen, you don't need those sleazy
places.
26
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:57,630
If you want an omelet and a lap dance,
you know where to come.
27
00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,470
Oh, Kelly, thanks.
28
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:03,666
Uh, you know, I think there's a good
chance you were talking to me there.
29
00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:04,730
Of course she was, buddy.
30
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:08,890
Hey, guys.
31
00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:10,290
Hey.
32
00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:14,650
Hey, you know, if you could play the bass
and smoke a cigar and ride a unicycle,
33
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:15,930
you could save the circus.
34
00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:19,952
I think the circus would
be just fine as long as it's
35
00:01:19,953 --> 00:01:22,990
got you in a tent as the
amazing woman with a penis.
36
00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:27,570
I just know you played bass.
37
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:28,410
Oh, yeah.
38
00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:29,870
I used to be a roadie for Fog Hat.
39
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:33,390
Whenever the bassists would get too drunk
to go on, they'd slap a mustache on me,
40
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,170
ham me a bass, push me out on stage.
41
00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:37,430
But now I actually want to learn how to
play.
42
00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:40,390
I think that's great.
43
00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:43,890
Oh, so it's okay for a woman to play the
bass but not to strip.
44
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,170
Where's the line, Kelly?
45
00:01:47,010 --> 00:01:48,410
I'll tell you where the line isn't.
46
00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:50,831
Anywhere where Mimi's playing the bass,
they're stripping.
47
00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:54,510
I said I wanted to get better at it.
48
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:55,530
What, stripping?
49
00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:57,650
Playing the bass.
50
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,530
Because I'm starting a band.
51
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:00,250
Great.
52
00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,050
Because you know what bands do?
53
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:03,170
They tour.
54
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,370
And they tour, and they tour, and they
tour.
55
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,170
I'm not in it for the money.
56
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:08,570
I need the creative outlet.
57
00:02:09,070 --> 00:02:12,070
Between my job and being a mom,
I need more me time.
58
00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:15,370
When I need me time, I like to rent a boat
on the lake.
59
00:02:15,371 --> 00:02:18,970
Open a nice bottle of wine and blow up
some fish with dynamite.
60
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:22,241
Hey, Kelly, I'm looking
for some musicians, so
61
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,331
could I put a couple
of these flyers up here?
62
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:24,830
Sure.
63
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:27,470
Is that your way of asking me to audition?
64
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:29,170
Oh, no, I already heard you sing.
65
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:46,990
What's the matter, buddy?
66
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:48,670
You noticed, huh?
67
00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:51,010
It's Sherry, I think we're through.
68
00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:51,650
What?
69
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,590
You just had dinner with her folks.
70
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,030
I thought things were going really well.
71
00:02:55,031 --> 00:02:56,470
Yeah, I thought so, too.
72
00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:58,236
And then at dinner, she
points to me and says
73
00:02:58,237 --> 00:03:01,091
to her, Dad, buy me
a car or I marry this.
74
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:02,918
The whole time at the
dealership, I'm thinking,
75
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,011
is this the relationship
I really want?
76
00:03:06,690 --> 00:03:07,690
It's tough, man.
77
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,950
You're filing me to a girl with a car,
and this happens.
78
00:03:11,870 --> 00:03:13,430
Maybe I should just forget about women.
79
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:16,750
Maybe I'm just a hideous janitor who's
meant to be alone.
80
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:20,950
Don't give up.
81
00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:23,452
I'm sure there's a wonderful
woman out there whose
82
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,771
hideous sister will be
happy to settle for you.
83
00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:29,490
Spin your fairy tales for someone whose
heart hasn't died.
84
00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:47,230
Eggs and strippers.
85
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:51,330
This is why people hide off the wheel
wells of 747s just to get to this country.
86
00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:53,390
Now, we'll finish up.
87
00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:56,046
I can't believe I let you drag me here in
the first place.
88
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,190
Kelly wouldn't want me here.
89
00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,590
Just relax and have a good time,
would you?
90
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:02,431
It always cheers me up to
look at the naked ladies and
91
00:04:02,432 --> 00:04:05,290
pretend they're poor college
girls out to impress me.
92
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:06,810
The Dean of Admissions.
93
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:12,390
I don't know why this matters to me,
but, uh, Ivy League or State College?
94
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,665
Well, if you must
know, it's a small liberal
95
00:04:14,666 --> 00:04:17,191
arts college with
an all-lesbian faculty.
96
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:21,710
Well, at least Oswald's having a good
time.
97
00:04:24,770 --> 00:04:25,390
Is this your card?
98
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:26,710
No.
99
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,490
Is this your card?
100
00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:31,270
I'm gonna need another ten bucks.
101
00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:39,220
Is this your card?
102
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:40,340
No.
103
00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,268
Look, if I told Kelly we took
you out tonight but I didn't
104
00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:14,251
tell her we took you to
a strip club, is that a lie?
105
00:05:15,170 --> 00:05:17,770
She's got low test scores and a lousy GPA.
106
00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:22,310
If she could only give us some
reason to admit... Oh, yeah, there we go.
107
00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:24,770
What do you think, Professor Carey?
108
00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:26,070
Should we take a chance on her?
109
00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:29,330
I told you, I don't want to work at your
sick little college.
110
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,330
Now, let's focus for a second.
111
00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:32,810
Do I tell Kelly I came here?
112
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:34,906
Or am I just creating a problem where
there isn't one?
113
00:05:34,930 --> 00:05:37,650
If you're gonna act like a girl,
take off your top and work the pole.
114
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,570
Excuse me, I need a woman's opinion.
115
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:44,226
I was wondering if I could ask you a
question about relationships.
116
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,442
Well, if it's about your
relationship with your
117
00:05:45,443 --> 00:05:47,931
father, I'm probably
not the best one to ask.
118
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:50,450
It's about my girlfriend.
119
00:05:51,070 --> 00:05:52,183
I told her I was
coming out tonight, but I
120
00:05:52,184 --> 00:05:53,490
didn't tell her I was
going to a strip club.
121
00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:54,670
Do you think that's a lie?
122
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,610
Oh, it's a lie of omission, but I don't
consider that a lie.
123
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:01,030
I mean, I told my boyfriend I'm a dancer,
but I left out Buck naked.
124
00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:04,030
Are you gonna get Buck naked?
125
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,470
All in good time, sir.
126
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:10,490
I thought you were a dean.
127
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,430
I still like teaching the young people of
such great energy.
128
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:19,920
Is this your card?
129
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:22,220
Yeah.
130
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,300
Hey, can you show me how to do that?
131
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,320
I feel like I should, since you've already
spent $150.
132
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:32,164
In fact, since you're
such a nice guy, I'm gonna
133
00:06:32,165 --> 00:06:34,960
take you to the VIP room
and show you a better trick.
134
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,220
You forgot the cards.
135
00:06:38,420 --> 00:06:39,880
Oh, I don't need cards.
136
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,020
Hey, Crystal.
137
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:49,940
Can I ask you one more question?
138
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,100
Oh, sir.
139
00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:53,300
Hey, at this point, you may as well call
me Nancy.
140
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:54,720
Great.
141
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,120
Now she's got my mother's name.
142
00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:59,060
Oi, that works.
143
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,456
What if Kelly asked about what we did
tonight?
144
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,480
What should I tell her?
145
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:05,740
I know.
146
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,040
After here, go bowling.
147
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,876
Then just tell her that you were bowling.
148
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,900
Because that's the truth.
149
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,680
Hey, that's great.
150
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:13,934
Because my girlfriend
really doesn't like these kind
151
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:15,980
of places, so then I
won't technically be lied to.
152
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:16,960
Pardon me.
153
00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:19,572
Since the morality talk is
adding so much to my lap dance,
154
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,761
could we open it up to
religion and the death penalty?
155
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,240
Oh, you are tense.
156
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,940
Maybe I can knock the tension out of you
with these.
157
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:28,120
Ow!
158
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:28,480
Ow!
159
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:28,780
Stop!
160
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:29,080
Stop!
161
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:30,720
Hey, stop!
162
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:32,880
What's the matter?
163
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,320
Most guys like that.
164
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,240
Well, I didn't.
165
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,400
It really hurt.
166
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,440
Maybe you should hit the gym, pencil neck.
167
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,640
Well, good luck with everything.
168
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:42,800
Thanks, Nancy.
169
00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:45,280
Does it fank her?
170
00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:46,620
She really hurt me, man.
171
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:47,760
I can't move my neck.
172
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:48,300
Well, just rub it.
173
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:48,920
It can't.
174
00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,336
I got a shooting pain down my arm.
175
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:51,760
You got to take me to the hospital.
176
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,200
All right.
177
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,080
We'll go to Oswald.
178
00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:57,160
We'll take you to the emergency room.
179
00:07:57,161 --> 00:07:58,881
First, we got to speak by the bowling
alley.
180
00:07:59,000 --> 00:07:59,460
Bowl a couple of frames.
181
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,600
All right.
182
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:29,060
Bowling.
183
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,380
Oh, we took Louis bowling in the
chairmuffs.
184
00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:37,060
All right.
185
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:39,760
How'd you do?
186
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,720
I'm not that good.
187
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,580
Oh, boy, that was awesome.
188
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:48,880
That's too bad, honey.
189
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,080
What was your score?
190
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:57,500
Uh, you know, I bowled a 200
and some... I can't lie to you.
191
00:08:58,180 --> 00:08:59,180
I bowled a nine.
192
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,440
How did you bowled a nine?
193
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,880
I only had time to bowl one frame,
then we had to rush Louis to the hospital.
194
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:07,320
What?
195
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,960
My God, what happened to him?
196
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,360
Uh, you know, he got hit in the head by a
couple of boobs.
197
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,740
I cannot believe he got in the fight.
198
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:17,880
That must have been awful.
199
00:09:17,881 --> 00:09:18,540
Yes.
200
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,160
Oh, they were huge.
201
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,460
He was two against one.
202
00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:22,820
Oh.
203
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:23,880
Anyway, good night.
204
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,880
Dilly-bop, dilly-bop, dilly-dilly-dilly
-dilly-dilly-dilly-dilly.
205
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,440
Diggin' a big, diggin' a big, diggin' a
big, diggin' a big damn hole.
206
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,270
Hey, no, I can't.
207
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:45,590
Got to fill my car full of gas.
208
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:54,130
I got it, love.
209
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,410
Gee, haven't seen you guys in a while.
210
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:58,190
Not since the Star Wars cantina scene.
211
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:00,290
Excuse me.
212
00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:02,470
We don't have time for your infantile
crap.
213
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,830
We are pushing the envelope of
conventional song structure.
214
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,390
Sounds like you're pushing an envelope of
cats into the lake.
215
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:12,870
Okay.
216
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,030
Uh, G-sharp.
217
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:15,630
One, two... Hang on.
218
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:18,110
We've done a lot of this freeform jazz
stuff.
219
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,570
Can we just play a regular song?
220
00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:23,830
I Know Everything by Janet Jackson and all
the moons.
221
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:24,170
No!
222
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:25,410
No!
223
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,310
I don't want to play a bunch of commercial
crap.
224
00:10:27,311 --> 00:10:30,470
I want to play stuff that's personal to me
and that expresses how I feel.
225
00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:32,430
Well, Janet knows how I feel.
226
00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:35,630
I don't know how she knows, but she knows.
227
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,190
Hey, can I get a cup of that?
228
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:39,810
Sure.
229
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:42,695
You know, I had a dream
last night that I was still
230
00:10:42,696 --> 00:10:45,850
married to Daryl and he was
lying and running around on me.
231
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:50,210
And I woke up with this terrible feeling
of being betrayed.
232
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,470
Uh, yeah, I had a dream
last night that I pushed out
233
00:10:53,471 --> 00:10:56,350
of the way of an oncoming
train and sacrificed myself.
234
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:58,790
I'd do that, you know.
235
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,590
Oh, hey, Louis.
236
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:04,270
How you doing?
237
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:06,030
Oh, my neck's a little sore.
238
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,490
I told her the whole story.
239
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:09,170
If you tell her, it'll just be repeating.
240
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:14,590
Hey, hey, why don't you go change and I'll
take you to breakfast.
241
00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:15,230
Yeah?
242
00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:15,610
Yeah.
243
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:16,210
Okay.
244
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:17,110
Hey, you want to come?
245
00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:17,910
Oh, no, thanks.
246
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:19,590
I don't want to dilute the painkillers.
247
00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:24,170
I'm suing the strip club.
248
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,250
I need you to testify.
249
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:27,330
I can't.
250
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:28,946
Kelly's already getting a bad vibe about
last night.
251
00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:29,970
I gotta stay out of it.
252
00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:32,250
You're my only witness without you having
got a case.
253
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:36,310
Look, I may have gotten bum advice about
morality from that stripper.
254
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:39,830
Now, the point is, I lied to Kelly.
255
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,030
And I feel guilty about it.
256
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:43,030
Come on, Drew.
257
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:44,110
You gotta do this for me.
258
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,270
I'm off work for a month.
259
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,690
If I don't get my medical bills paid for,
I'm screwed.
260
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:48,470
Sell something.
261
00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:49,610
Sell your mannequins.
262
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:50,910
They haven't got heads.
263
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:52,430
They're not worth anything anymore.
264
00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:55,590
Look, we've been friends a long time.
265
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:56,690
I don't ask for much.
266
00:11:56,930 --> 00:11:58,150
You ask me for everything.
267
00:11:58,570 --> 00:12:00,730
And what's one more thing, you petty
little man?
268
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:05,850
How do I know you're even hurt?
269
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,410
I mean, you've pulled scans before.
270
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:08,290
Name one.
271
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:10,311
You carry that dirty old
dog tooth around in your
272
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,650
pocket to put it in restaurant
salads and get free food.
273
00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:14,410
Okay, you name one.
274
00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:15,810
So I guess you win, big man.
275
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:18,990
Dude, lawsuits take years.
276
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,590
You're not gonna get your money for a long
time anyway.
277
00:12:20,591 --> 00:12:21,410
No, no.
278
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,050
See, I signed up for arbitration,
huh?
279
00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:25,511
You don't have to have an attorney,
and it's a lot faster.
280
00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:27,612
And when they found out I
was attacked by enormous
281
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,911
breasts, they moved my
case right to the top of the list.
282
00:12:31,090 --> 00:12:32,330
Do you have to do this with me?
283
00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,606
I mean, isn't there someone else in the
club that saw something?
284
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:35,630
Oh, okay.
285
00:12:35,870 --> 00:12:39,050
I'll just go back to the strip club and
check the married men's sign-in sheet.
286
00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:41,870
All right.
287
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:43,030
Okay, I'll do it.
288
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,910
But thanks to you, I have to tell the girl
I love the truth.
289
00:12:47,770 --> 00:12:48,770
I hope you're happy.
290
00:12:50,590 --> 00:12:51,130
Get out of here.
291
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,510
Let's pick it up where we left off.
292
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:54,290
Yeah.
293
00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:57,590
We were talking while you were in the
bathroom, and, uh...
294
00:12:58,310 --> 00:12:59,310
you're out of the band.
295
00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:01,190
What?
296
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,830
I started the band.
297
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,010
How could you kick me out?
298
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,920
We got into this to meet
men, and you're gonna
299
00:13:05,921 --> 00:13:08,351
scare them away with
the racket you're making.
300
00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:11,450
I'll show you racket!
301
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:14,010
Here's your damn racket!
302
00:13:14,011 --> 00:13:16,710
Get out of my house!
303
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,030
I'll shut up now!
304
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:20,670
Go, go, go, go, go!
305
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:24,490
Say hello to MTV, you big bunch of losers!
306
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:26,110
Uh, Drew, I'm ready.
307
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:26,810
I need to go.
308
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,850
Let me ask you a question.
309
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:31,090
You think my music is pretty good,
right?
310
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:31,470
Yes.
311
00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:32,110
Yes.
312
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:35,050
Maybe I love your music.
313
00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:40,130
Yeah, if you love that, I'll stick a spoon
on the garbage disposal for you later.
314
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,510
Come on, I gotta talk to you for a second.
315
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:48,310
That was really, really big of you to lie
to Mimi like that.
316
00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:50,670
Well, Drew, it wasn't exactly a lie.
317
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:51,470
Yeah, yeah, it was.
318
00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:52,790
It was a bald-faced lie.
319
00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:58,050
But I still love you, and I do not want to
break up with you.
320
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,290
Okay, what are you getting at?
321
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:05,070
Well, you told Mimi a little lie to
protect her feelings, and...
322
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:10,710
I told you a small lie about where I was
last night to protect your feelings.
323
00:14:10,711 --> 00:14:11,711
I knew it.
324
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:12,350
I knew it.
325
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:13,090
That's... You know what?
326
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:14,570
That's what the dream was about.
327
00:14:14,690 --> 00:14:18,530
I knew that something was wrong with your
bowling story.
328
00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:22,110
Oh, my God.
329
00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:23,850
Did you cheat on me?
330
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:24,290
No.
331
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:24,670
What?
332
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:25,250
No.
333
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:26,950
That would be really wrong.
334
00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:30,330
Another thing that's really wrong is
murder.
335
00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:35,890
Other things I did not do that are really
wrong would be arson, grand theft auto,
336
00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:38,990
incense... Okay,
Drew, what did you do?
337
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:44,690
We took Lewis to a strip club to cheer him
up, so...
338
00:14:44,691 --> 00:14:47,390
And you thought it would be best if you
lied about it?
339
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,470
Yes, it was a lie.
340
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:49,650
But it wasn't arson.
341
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:50,710
It wasn't murder.
342
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:54,490
What kind of relationship are we gonna
have if you lied to me?
343
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:55,630
I'm never gonna do it again.
344
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:58,486
Certainly not after the big deal you're
making out of this.
345
00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,470
All right.
346
00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:02,110
All right.
347
00:15:05,260 --> 00:15:08,620
Well, what did you do at the strip club?
348
00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:12,280
Well, I felt really bad about being there,
so I was talking it over with Crystal.
349
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,700
Crystal?
350
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,480
She was, uh, one of the strippers.
351
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,320
Her real name is Nancy.
352
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,560
Oh, she told you her real name.
353
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,220
You must be pretty close.
354
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:22,480
No.
355
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,020
No.
356
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:23,800
Not at all.
357
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,400
Look, nothing.
358
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:25,220
Nothing happened.
359
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,480
I'm telling you.
360
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,380
And that's the only lie I've ever told
you.
361
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,840
So Lewis really did get in a fight with
two guys at the strip club?
362
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:34,880
No.
363
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,800
I said you'd recall that he was hit in the
face by two boobs.
364
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:41,260
For some reason, you jumped a gun.
365
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:41,720
All right.
366
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:42,960
I'm talking to you.
367
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,280
You know what?
368
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,520
Treason.
369
00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:49,440
You can add that to the list of things
that I did not do.
370
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,000
You
371
00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,960
can take my word for me.
372
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:00,900
Word?
373
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,060
That means nothing.
374
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:04,460
Get in his lap and slap him across the
face with one.
375
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,880
That would be inappropriate.
376
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:07,320
Do you mind?
377
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,700
I'm just gonna squeeze on.
378
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,260
Why is that man touching her breasts?
379
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:16,260
I don't know.
380
00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:17,380
I'm not a lawyer.
381
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,400
Who's doing her?
382
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,160
Well, Lewis subpoenaed me.
383
00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:26,861
He thought that... since I'm a woman,
that I'd be a good character witness.
384
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:27,660
Yeah.
385
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:28,720
Just do the last couple days.
386
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:29,160
Hmm.
387
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:30,680
Has it been a few days?
388
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,200
I haven't noticed.
389
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:36,002
Well, Mr. Knitsky, they
are firm, but I wouldn't
390
00:16:36,003 --> 00:16:39,560
categorize them as nine -pound
hammers of doom as you did.
391
00:16:41,020 --> 00:16:42,020
You can step down.
392
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:43,920
What do you mean, step down?
393
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:44,980
It's just a chair.
394
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,460
Please don't hit me again!
395
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,140
All right, Spencer Tracy.
396
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,400
Call your next witness.
397
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,600
I'd like to ask Mr. Carey a few questions
now.
398
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,240
Uh, remember, you're under oath.
399
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,580
That's right.
400
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:02,480
I'm under oath.
401
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:03,816
And what would happen if I lied?
402
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:04,840
That would be perjury.
403
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,020
You could go to jail.
404
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:10,120
Well, then you can be assured that
anything I say from now on is the truth.
405
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:12,420
Mr. Carey.
406
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:13,580
Call me Drew.
407
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,160
Mr. Carey.
408
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:20,380
Did you see me get hit in the head with
the fleshy cannonballs in question?
409
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,660
Yes, I saw the breasts.
410
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,812
But because I was agonizing
about being at the strip
411
00:17:25,813 --> 00:17:28,840
club, I could not and
did not enjoy the breasts.
412
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:29,940
Yeah, right.
413
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,500
Mr. Carey, just answer the questions
you're asked.
414
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,780
And you, no speaking out of turn.
415
00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:36,260
Thank you.
416
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,302
I'd like to remind everyone
that a man has been
417
00:17:38,303 --> 00:17:40,841
injured here and this is
quite a serious matter.
418
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,150
Now, at any point, did you
hear me ask the defendant
419
00:17:44,151 --> 00:17:46,701
to beat my brains in
with our bolters of death?
420
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:48,760
I get it.
421
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,300
You're saying they're dangerous.
422
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:50,900
Now, enough.
423
00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:54,580
Well, let me answer that by saying I did
not get a lap dance.
424
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,300
Because I have a beautiful woman at home.
425
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,240
She's lovely.
426
00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:01,740
Answer the question.
427
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:01,960
You're right.
428
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:02,320
I'm sorry.
429
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,440
I didn't hear you request anything but a
regular lap dance.
430
00:18:05,441 --> 00:18:06,260
You didn't do anything wrong.
431
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,400
And neither did I.
432
00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,140
Because I love you, Kelly.
433
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,460
Would you say that Crystal was operating
her breasts negligently?
434
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,760
Well, as a man, he'll never lie to Kelly.
435
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,200
That's it.
436
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,480
Get out of the chair.
437
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,140
I'd like to call up Kelly Newmark,
please.
438
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,560
You know you're under oath.
439
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,100
Yes.
440
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,360
I don't need to be threatened by jail to
tell the truth.
441
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,700
Now, Kelly.
442
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:38,020
Call me Miss Newmark.
443
00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:40,340
Kelly.
444
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,620
Would you say generally I'm a trustworthy
person?
445
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:49,000
Well, I don't think you'd start a new
relationship by lying to someone.
446
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,020
You're lying to Mimi about her singing.
447
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,220
Sit down.
448
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,400
Answer the question.
449
00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,520
Meow.
450
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,440
Have you ever known me to lie about an
injury?
451
00:19:03,441 --> 00:19:05,544
Well, if you stopped a
woman in the middle of
452
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,660
a lap dance, you must
have been seriously hurt.
453
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:07,940
Hello.
454
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,380
But you really physically hurt.
455
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,496
It's better than the
emotional pain you feel
456
00:19:12,497 --> 00:19:15,541
when you're betrayed
by someone you love.
457
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,240
Can you order her just to let it go?
458
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,780
Look, I've had about enough.
459
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,040
He's a good guy who made a mistake.
460
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,820
I don't think he's gonna do it again.
461
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:27,660
You, dummy.
462
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,281
Can't believe that you go to strip clubs
when you have that waiting for you at home.
463
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:35,640
Dump him or forgive him.
464
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,660
What's he gonna be?
465
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:37,660
Today.
466
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:38,280
Today.
467
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:39,340
Okay.
468
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:39,700
Okay.
469
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,260
I forgive him.
470
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,380
I forgive you.
471
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,240
Thank you.
472
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:46,896
Next time you go to a strip club,
I'll ask you ahead of time.
473
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,920
You're not going.
474
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:49,500
Of course.
475
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:50,620
Why would I have you?
476
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,160
Now, Mr. Koninski, I think I've heard
enough.
477
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,680
I'm going to allow you damages to cover
your medical expenses.
478
00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:58,260
Thank you.
479
00:19:58,261 --> 00:20:01,365
But considering that
you are a janitor, I have to
480
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,960
deny your request for
$4 million in lost wages.
481
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,360
No.
482
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,740
No, no.
483
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,880
This is wrong.
484
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,020
This is never about the money.
485
00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:17,120
This is about the little guy standing up
to the big strip club.
486
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:17,900
I'm gonna appeal.
487
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:20,941
I will not rest until I... I can get
you a free lifetime pass to the club.
488
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,260
Done.
489
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,200
Don't do it.
490
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:26,480
They're taking advantage.
491
00:20:26,481 --> 00:20:27,040
Why?
492
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:27,940
We'll go to the newspapers.
493
00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:29,360
We'll go to the TV stations.
494
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:30,140
Do you have one for my friend?
495
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:30,660
Sure.
496
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:31,340
Yes.
497
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:32,640
Hey, Lewis, you want to go tonight?
498
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,800
No.
499
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,556
Peter, we're going to the strip club.
500
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:35,980
You want to go?
501
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:36,740
Sure.
502
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,880
Hey, honey, we're going bowling tonight.
503
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,880
Can you order her to have a sense of
humor?
504
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:49,720
Oh, wow.
505
00:20:50,180 --> 00:20:51,180
You are good.
506
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,100
I've never seen a woman do that.
507
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,360
Slower.
508
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,060
How do you do that?
509
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,640
You weren't kidding.
510
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:02,900
I had a set of those.
511
00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:04,400
I never leave the house.
512
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,900
Can I touch them?
513
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,120
Sure.
514
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:09,660
Touch them all you want.
34058
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