All language subtitles for The.Drew.Carey.Show.S06E01.Drew.Pops.Something.On.Kate-ing

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,650 --> 00:00:12,710 Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 2 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,900 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 3 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,065 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 4 00:00:26,066 --> 00:00:29,620 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 5 00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:52,920 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 6 00:00:52,921 --> 00:00:54,340 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 7 00:00:54,341 --> 00:00:54,980 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 8 00:00:54,981 --> 00:00:55,700 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 9 00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:55,820 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 10 00:00:55,821 --> 00:01:51,641 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 11 00:00:55,821 --> 00:00:55,860 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 12 00:00:55,861 --> 00:01:51,721 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 13 00:00:55,861 --> 00:01:51,721 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 14 00:00:55,861 --> 00:01:51,721 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 15 00:00:55,861 --> 00:00:57,680 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah, blah, blah. 16 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,560 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 17 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 I 18 00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:08,280 was just kissing Kate and thinking about her at 19 00:01:08,281 --> 00:01:12,160 the same time, I'm going to ask her to marry me. 20 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:13,860 Oh! 21 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:21,140 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 22 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:23,840 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 23 00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:25,820 Oh, I'm good for that. 24 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,360 Hey, pig boy. 25 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:17,980 Hey, clown face lady. 26 00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:19,340 Shut up, pig boy. 27 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,380 You shut up, clown face lady. 28 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,440 Oh, my must I insult you. 29 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,220 And everyone knows I just want to make sweet, sweet love to you. 30 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:31,740 That's good. 31 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:33,700 Some funny stuff. 32 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,040 I'll tell you what. 33 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,740 I'll play you 20 years from now. 34 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:40,220 Okay. 35 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,240 What's that? 36 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,200 You using your toe to blow off your head with a shotgun. 37 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:48,720 What's going on here? 38 00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:50,940 Well, we were just imitating you guys in sheep. 39 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,820 That's why I told you to never play with the clown face lady. 40 00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:00,260 And you, I told you to leave my special little men alone. 41 00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:01,240 Thanks, sir. 42 00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:02,900 I feel awful. 43 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:10,040 Hey, I'm glad you guys showed up. 44 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,120 I'm dying to show this to somebody before I give it to Kate. 45 00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,620 Ooh, a velvet cube, pretty. 46 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,160 Well, it's a nice engagement ring, Drew. 47 00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:23,380 Yeah, what's it cost? 48 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,840 Well, it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so... 49 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:27,860 $6,000. 50 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,220 Oh, you can't afford that. 51 00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:34,380 You've only got $4,232 in your savings account. 52 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,880 You know, I had to take out a loan and make payments. 53 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,620 How'd you know that? 54 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,756 Oh, well, I like to hack around in the supercomputer. 55 00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:44,780 He's down at drug code. 56 00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:47,620 Last week, I made it illegal for fat people to vote in Alabama. 57 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,320 But bald people can vote twice. 58 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,540 I'm looking to start something. 59 00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:56,456 You figured out how you're going to ask her yet? 60 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:56,660 Yeah. 61 00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,257 Gonna start an argument with her, flip her off, 62 00:03:58,258 --> 00:04:00,181 and we have the diamond ring on my middle finger. 63 00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:04,360 Carrie, I need to see you in my office right away. 64 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,000 Are you going to yell at me? 65 00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:06,580 No, Carrie. 66 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,860 If I was going to yell at you, my voice would be getting loud. 67 00:04:08,861 --> 00:04:11,020 Louder and louder and louder. 68 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,256 See where I'm going with this, Carrie? 69 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,000 Get your arse into my office right away! 70 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,520 Do the girly walk. 71 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,020 The girly walk. 72 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:18,880 You must be really mad. 73 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,536 Can you guys turn your head for a second? 74 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,260 No, don't worry, Drew. 75 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,516 We don't want to see it anyway. 76 00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:23,540 Carrie! 77 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,780 Well, it's like watching The Jungle Book. 78 00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,980 Carrie, I just found out that someone screwed up in the monthly budget. 79 00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,820 We have to cut $30,000 before the board meeting. 80 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,140 You have five minutes to fire someone. 81 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:42,136 Why don't you just fire the idiot who screwed up the budget? 82 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,400 Because I'm the idiot who screwed up the budget, and I'm not going to fire myself. 83 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:48,240 Especially when I own $10,000 to have a crumbian fetch. 84 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,620 I just can't help myself. 85 00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:52,640 I love those pants that zip off into shorts. 86 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,560 Why don't you just fire somebody? 87 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,856 You're the one who likes firing people. 88 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,540 Well, the board won't let me, because I'm being sued. 89 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,679 Apparently, it's a no-no to threaten to fire a Native 90 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,241 American by pushing him out of a window and shouting Geronimo. 91 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,680 I thought they always landed on their feet. 92 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:19,220 That's cats, sir. 93 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,340 Well, they do have some sort of special powers, don't they? 94 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:24,320 They can have casinos. 95 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:25,140 Well, there you are. 96 00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:26,260 There's nothing. 97 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,360 Get out there and fire someone. 98 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,440 You've got five minutes. 99 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:41,040 So, uh, anyone? 100 00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:42,580 Yes, anyone. 101 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,520 Is it just me or are these things fantastic? 102 00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:45,521 Yes. 103 00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:58,170 Well, you know, that song gives me a hankering for a hot cup of joe. 104 00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:02,965 But first, Mimi, there's been something I've been wanting 105 00:06:02,966 --> 00:06:06,150 to say to you for a long time, and I finally get to say it. 106 00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:11,851 You are so... Oh, my God. 107 00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:14,450 I felt something kicking. 108 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,390 Cancel or Gretel. 109 00:06:19,350 --> 00:06:21,630 No, it's your little niece or nephew, you idiot. 110 00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,630 Oh, my God, there it is again. 111 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:24,950 Oh, you've got to feel this. 112 00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:25,990 No, no, that's okay. 113 00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:28,430 Come on, this is important to me. 114 00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:31,970 This is the first time my baby's kicking, and I want to share this with family. 115 00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:40,060 Well, lucky little guy gets to kick you from the inside. 116 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:42,720 Yeah, wait a few minutes. 117 00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:51,010 Anderson, are you still coming in to work late because you're drinking problem? 118 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:55,270 No, I finally took your advice, went to AA, and turned my life around. 119 00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:56,810 Damn. 120 00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:01,850 Mr. Carey, I was wondering if I could have two weeks off. 121 00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:03,850 Oh, you know what, Wilson? 122 00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:06,010 I figured out a way to get born two weeks off. 123 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:07,150 Oh, that'd be great. 124 00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:10,730 I just read about this poor little Appalachian boy who grew up chained to a radiator. 125 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:14,050 He really needs a kidney, and mine happens to be a perfect match. 126 00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:16,230 As a Christian, I feel I have no choice. 127 00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:18,270 Well, then you're fired. 128 00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:19,650 What? 129 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:20,210 I'm kidding. 130 00:07:20,390 --> 00:07:21,950 Go give the damn hillbilly your kidney. 131 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,270 Sir Carey, who would you fire? 132 00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:26,210 What? 133 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,950 Jackson here, the war hero in the wheelchair. 134 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,490 Shame on you. 135 00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:31,770 Good work. 136 00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:33,270 He depresses me. 137 00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:35,390 I didn't fire anybody, sir. 138 00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:36,190 No one deserves it. 139 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,170 Oh, good Lord. 140 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,566 If you don't have the guts to do it, then I'm going to have everyone do it. 141 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:40,750 Everyone, gather round. 142 00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:42,090 Come on. 143 00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:44,056 I trust you're all familiar with the TV show 144 00:07:44,057 --> 00:07:46,030 Survivor, where they vote each other off the island. 145 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,910 Well, today we're going to play the office version. 146 00:07:47,911 --> 00:07:51,190 We're going to vote to fire someone right now. 147 00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:52,070 But you can't vote for me. 148 00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:52,530 I'm English. 149 00:07:52,710 --> 00:07:54,230 I've already been voted off an island. 150 00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:58,630 You can't toy with people's lives like this and just fire somebody at random. 151 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:00,170 Besides, this is all your fault. 152 00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:02,030 If anybody should be fired, it should be you. 153 00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:03,330 Really, Carey? 154 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,490 Well, why don't you sit down, put your feet up 155 00:08:05,491 --> 00:08:07,811 in the desk, and put your hands behind your head. 156 00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:08,850 Just relax. 157 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,590 Now, as I'm sure you know, on the TV show, they start with the physical challenges. 158 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:16,044 I want everyone else to do ten push-ups, 159 00:08:16,144 --> 00:08:18,390 and with each one, say, thank you, Mr. Drew. 160 00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:18,970 Come along. 161 00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:20,430 Come on! 162 00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,110 Thank you, Mr. Drew. 163 00:08:24,990 --> 00:08:26,490 Thank you, Mr. Drew. 164 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:27,790 Mr. Wick, this is ridiculous. 165 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:29,070 One more word out of your pile. 166 00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:29,550 Get in. 167 00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:30,690 They'll do 20 push-ups. 168 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:31,670 This is silly. 169 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,110 You heard the man do 20. 170 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:33,890 Come on. 171 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:35,130 Carey says 40. 172 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:36,990 60. 173 00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:38,490 I didn't say anything. 174 00:08:38,530 --> 00:08:39,530 Fix it now. 175 00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:39,710 80. 176 00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:42,030 Okay, we get the message. 177 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:42,910 Fire Drew. 178 00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:43,810 Fire Drew, yes. 179 00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:45,050 Fire Drew. 180 00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:46,890 I'm sorry, Carey. 181 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:48,190 The people have spoken. 182 00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:49,930 You've been voted off the office. 183 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:50,610 Wait a second. 184 00:08:50,950 --> 00:08:52,710 You didn't fire me just like this. 185 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:53,830 Well, I'm afraid I can. 186 00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:55,526 Here's your pink slip, Carey. 187 00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,470 I'm off to tell the board the budget is balanced. 188 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,330 I've been here for 15 years. 189 00:08:59,510 --> 00:09:00,790 Doesn't that count for anything? 190 00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,010 You'd think. 191 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,020 You bunch of traitors! 192 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,320 I hired half the people. 193 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,120 I'm the only one that cares about you here. 194 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,440 So you're fired, huh? 195 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,580 Somehow, I always thought this moment would be different. 196 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:28,327 I thought there might be a string that I could pull 197 00:09:28,328 --> 00:09:32,840 and then I'd be confetti and balloons and fireworks. 198 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,220 But then I thought, nah, it should be a button. 199 00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:40,220 Oh, 200 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,740 man, I'm so high up. 201 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,520 What the hell happened last night? 202 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:08,680 I don't know. 203 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,320 The last thing I remember is we came over to cheer up Drew after he got fired. 204 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,260 I can't remember Drew saying I got nothing. 205 00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:17,440 I got nothing over and over again. 206 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:18,680 Oh, right. 207 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,240 When you said Drew or a dog, you'd put him out of his misery. 208 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,080 Oh, my God! 209 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,400 You killed Drew! 210 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:32,800 What? 211 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:34,900 No. 212 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,180 I couldn't do something like that. 213 00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:42,460 Unless... the slurping sound he makes when he drinks coffee. 214 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,200 I wouldn't kill him for something like that. 215 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,700 Unless... he just wouldn't stop. 216 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,600 Slurping, slurping like a dog in a toilet. 217 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:55,900 You know what? 218 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:57,140 I'm glad I killed him. 219 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:02,940 Okay, guys. 220 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,840 Thank God you're alive. 221 00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:14,180 For now. 222 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,700 So, what's with all the blood all over your shirt? 223 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,180 I don't know. 224 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,721 Unless... I killed Kate. 225 00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:25,820 Why would you kill Kate? 226 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,060 Because she's in love with a guy who slurps coffee like a dog in a toilet. 227 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:31,200 You know what? 228 00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,940 I feel like digging her up and killing her all over again. 229 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,640 It's cherry pie. 230 00:11:40,641 --> 00:11:41,641 Why? 231 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,500 God. 232 00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:52,090 You killed Kate and then ate cherry pie. 233 00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:55,990 Yes, I am. 234 00:11:57,470 --> 00:11:58,710 Yes, I am. 235 00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:01,830 Yes, I am. 236 00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,870 Drew's listening to his self-help tapes again. 237 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:04,530 This is great. 238 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,110 I love this. 239 00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,450 Hey, Drew, are you wearing women's underwear? 240 00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:08,590 Yes, I am. 241 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,370 Are you a sissy boy who wears velvet? 242 00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:13,850 Yes, I am. 243 00:12:15,590 --> 00:12:16,590 Did you eat duty? 244 00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,070 Yes, I am. 245 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:19,970 That didn't really work. 246 00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,490 You know, this tape is great. 247 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,750 You know, who needs wood for louder? 248 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:28,690 To get fired isn't a setback, it's an opportunity. 249 00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:31,276 I'm gonna go out there today, I'm gonna get my 250 00:12:31,277 --> 00:12:33,170 dream job, and I'm gonna ask Kate to marry me. 251 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:34,670 Unless she's dead. 252 00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:37,750 Hey, guys. 253 00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:38,910 Aw. 254 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:43,270 This pie on your shirt thing is getting less and less interesting. 255 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,350 Yeah, you're just a drunk who can't eat pie. 256 00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:48,790 Man, what we smashed last night. 257 00:12:49,110 --> 00:12:49,950 Lewis, are you okay? 258 00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,750 You know, you came after me with a knife. 259 00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:53,770 Hey. 260 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:55,610 How you doing, T. 261 00:12:57,050 --> 00:12:58,050 Great. 262 00:12:58,270 --> 00:12:59,110 Let me tell you guys a story. 263 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,290 I just heard of this tape. 264 00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:03,710 There was a guy who had a diamond line, and every day he'd go out there digging 265 00:13:03,711 --> 00:13:05,431 for diamonds, but he wouldn't find anything. 266 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,006 He kept digging and digging, never finding anything. 267 00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:08,270 Finally, one day, he just quit. 268 00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:11,290 He gave up on his dream and sold the diamond line. 269 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:11,850 You know what they found? 270 00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:16,630 He was only 20 feet away from discovering acres of diamonds. 271 00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:17,590 Huh. 272 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:20,410 So it's a metaphor on never giving up on your dreams. 273 00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:21,790 No, you moron. 274 00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:22,890 It's a... Oh, what do you know? 275 00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:23,490 He actually got one. 276 00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:24,710 Hey! 277 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:30,430 Anyway, that story convinced me not to quit just because I got fired. 278 00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:33,099 I'm gonna go out there today, and I'm gonna interview 279 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,991 and get the job I've always wanted my whole life. 280 00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:36,370 You know what my dream job is? 281 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:37,890 Stud chimp at drug call. 282 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,510 That guy gets so much monkey butt, you wouldn't believe it. 283 00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:48,290 Well, I'm gonna go interview for my dream job today. 284 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:50,230 It's a personnel director at Six Flags. 285 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:53,650 You get to fly all over the country to all the Six Flags, you get to eat cotton candy 286 00:13:53,651 --> 00:13:55,646 and ride all the rides, and you get to meet Scooby-Doo. 287 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:56,670 Oh! 288 00:13:58,630 --> 00:13:59,950 I'm so tired of catering. 289 00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,966 You know, I just thought working at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame would be cool. 290 00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:03,370 You know what? 291 00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,770 I think you can get that job at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 292 00:14:05,771 --> 00:14:08,546 As a matter of fact, I'll drop you off there on the way to my interview. 293 00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:09,570 Great. 294 00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:13,906 Hey, uh... I was the one who forgot to ask what's your dream job. 295 00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:14,710 Oh, that's easy. 296 00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:16,370 I want to be Cindy Crawford's couch. 297 00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:29,386 You know, if I hear of anything, I'll let you know. 298 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,410 Okay. 299 00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:34,910 Mr. Carey, I have to say, your resume is impressive. 300 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:39,270 And no one has ever scored this high on their ethics test here at Six Flags. 301 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:42,410 Well, you know, ten years as a minister, some stuff just stays with you. 302 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,170 I think you're our man. 303 00:14:45,490 --> 00:14:45,650 Really? 304 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:46,290 Yes. 305 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:49,531 Now, you'll be able to pick your own company card, your own assistant, 306 00:14:49,730 --> 00:14:52,570 and I'd like you to circle which snacks you'd like on the corporate jet. 307 00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,890 Mr. Carey, are you crying? 308 00:14:58,610 --> 00:14:59,610 No, assistant. 309 00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,750 Macadamia nuts. 310 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:03,830 I've only had one. 311 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:06,590 I was on a plane, and it rolled down from first class. 312 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:12,310 Well, before you get too excited, I should tell you, your office shares a 313 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:15,150 lobby with our sister company, the Ford Modeling Agency. 314 00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,747 Yeah, sometimes you'll come back from lunch and 315 00:15:17,748 --> 00:15:20,290 you'll find a supermodel on your couch taking a nap. 316 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:25,130 Yeah, sometimes they're pretty jet lagged when they fly in from Supermodel Island. 317 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:26,890 Supermodel Island? 318 00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,310 I knew it! 319 00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:30,990 The other one was a joke, Mr. Carey. 320 00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:32,850 Not to me. 321 00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:34,690 Not today. 322 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:39,130 Well, why don't you come in tomorrow and we'll discuss your six-figure salary. 323 00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:40,350 Great. 324 00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:41,090 See you tomorrow. 325 00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:42,170 Thank you very much. 326 00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:45,510 I just have to make one phone call to check your references. 327 00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,370 It's just a formality, really. 328 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:47,810 I understand. 329 00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:49,430 See you tomorrow. 330 00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:55,280 Hello, I'm Mimi Bovec speaking. 331 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:56,040 Yes, hello. 332 00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:58,720 I'm calling for a reference on Drew Carey. 333 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,000 Drew Carey's out of prison? 334 00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,360 Can't get hired anywhere. 335 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,480 Every job I try to get today, Mimi gives me a bad recommendation. 336 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:10,736 I called her to get her to stop. 337 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:11,240 You know what she said? 338 00:16:11,241 --> 00:16:12,560 She said, talk to my assistant. 339 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:13,900 Who's her assistant? 340 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:14,560 Her butt. 341 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,920 She ripped one into the phone. 342 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:18,680 Drew, cheer up. 343 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,123 Hey, if things go like I planned, you can always go to 344 00:16:21,124 --> 00:16:23,481 Alabama and be a soldier of fortune in the Fatty Baldy War. 345 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,520 Nah, I don't want to move. 346 00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:30,141 I might have to if I can't make the payments on this ring. 347 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,120 Oh, that's right. 348 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,620 The ring, you can't afford that now. 349 00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,200 What are you gonna do? 350 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,276 I tried to return it, but the guy just laughed at me. 351 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,336 He wouldn't even let me in. 352 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,040 So you're not gonna ask Kate to marry you? 353 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:38,720 How can I? 354 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:39,720 When I can't even get a job. 355 00:16:39,721 --> 00:16:43,200 All Kate needs to see is me drinking a beer every morning, watching Sesame Street. 356 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,600 Looking like a drunk guy in his underwear, singing about the letter E. 357 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:49,920 All right, go ahead. 358 00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,680 Elegant elephants everywhere. 359 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,160 That's enough. 360 00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:55,380 Enjoy eating eggs. 361 00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,340 Drew, I got it. 362 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,316 I got the job at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 363 00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:01,940 Whoa, that's great. 364 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,240 Where do you get to do it? 365 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:03,740 Thanks. 366 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,200 I'm a celebrity liaison. 367 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,160 My whole job is to hang out with rock stars. 368 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,261 It's like hanging out with you guys, except glamorous and interesting. 369 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,560 How'd you two get the job at Six Flags? 370 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:15,920 No. 371 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,676 I mean, if you screw me on my references, I can't get a job anywhere. 372 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,000 You know what? 373 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:19,940 I'm making some money now. 374 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,040 I can carry for a while. 375 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:21,600 No, no. 376 00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:22,700 I got to work. 377 00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:24,286 I'd sling hash at my old high school if I had 378 00:17:24,287 --> 00:17:25,580 to, but I know it's not gonna come to that. 379 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,520 I'm only 20 feet away from my dream job. 380 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,480 Yes, I am. 381 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,320 Yes, I am. 382 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,780 Yes, I am. 383 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,960 Are you telling me that I can't have another fish stick? 384 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,480 Yes, I am. 385 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,660 Come on, poor eyes. 386 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,900 Give me another fish stick. 387 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,160 No, you dropped it. 388 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,200 That was your fish stick. 389 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,700 Perhaps next time you won't horse around with it. 390 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,830 I'll let him bother you. 391 00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:53,910 He's just a loser. 392 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:54,810 Thank you. 393 00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:56,470 Can I ask you something? 394 00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,370 I have this bet with my girlfriends. 395 00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,070 Your name's Drew, right? 396 00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:02,550 Yeah. 397 00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:04,290 Are you a boy or a girl? 398 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,720 Your name's, uh, Jennifer, right? 399 00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:11,700 Mm-hmm. 400 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,296 You think you're so hot now, date the quarterback and everything? 401 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,660 Well, let me give you the 4-1-1. 402 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,940 Brad wasn't really skiing last weekend. 403 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,040 He was over at Stacy Limming's house. 404 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,140 Because you know that thing you won't do? 405 00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,120 She so did it. 406 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,430 I hate these braces. 407 00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:39,330 How's it going, lunch man? 408 00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:41,510 Well, the pace sucks, but I made a cheerleader cry. 409 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,850 What are you doing here? 410 00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:46,746 Oh, I thought I had lunch with my boyfriend and look around a little. 411 00:18:46,770 --> 00:18:48,950 Let me tell you, Kate O'Brien has not been forgotten. 412 00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:52,250 That picture of me with my legs in the air in the boys' room, still there. 413 00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:55,590 Are you Drew? 414 00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:56,350 Yeah. 415 00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:57,110 I'm Brad. 416 00:18:57,590 --> 00:19:00,630 I was juggling two of the finest hoochies in this school until you showed up. 417 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,220 You look familiar. 418 00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:18,060 You know, there was a point in my life where I thought I'd be an astronaut. 419 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:24,700 Drew, it doesn't matter what you do, I love you and I always will. 420 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,740 Kate, will you marry me? 421 00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:31,020 What? 422 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,600 This isn't really the way I wanted to do it, but I just can't wait anymore. 423 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,640 Kate? 424 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,260 Don't marry me for how much I love you today. 425 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,780 Marry me for how much I'm going to love you for the rest of your life. 426 00:19:46,781 --> 00:19:49,300 You stole that from Dawson's Creek. 427 00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:56,760 It was 30-something, you little bastard! 428 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,280 So what do you say, Kate? 429 00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:04,940 Drew, it's beautiful. 430 00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:06,440 Of course I'll marry you. 431 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,060 We are going to be so happy. 432 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,920 I'm going to give you the best of everything. 433 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,520 Here. 434 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,880 Put this under your shirt. 435 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,380 What is it? 436 00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:26,821 Sex or sloppy joe mate, they search me when I leave the place. 437 00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,800 Wow, this is going to be the greatest vacation ever. 438 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:37,700 Hi, I'm Jared. 439 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,280 You're welcome. 440 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,940 So, where's all the women? 441 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:44,960 What women? 442 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,400 I'm on male supermodel island. 443 00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:54,480 You like me to rub a little lotion on your back? 444 00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:56,940 Yeah, well, I do burn. 445 00:20:58,460 --> 00:21:00,680 I'm on male supermodel island. 30905

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.