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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,660 --> 00:00:01,660 Hi, I'm Drew Carey. 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,176 You know, in all the years we've been on television, we've never won an Emmy Award. 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:05,340 Never. 4 00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:06,960 Can't even get nominated. 5 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,180 Nothing for acting, nothing for writing, nothing. 6 00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,194 We thought this year would be different, but I 7 00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:12,420 just looked at all the shows we did, and nope. 8 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:14,580 We don't have a chance in hell this year either. 9 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,236 So some of the guys around here thought if we did just one special episode, 10 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:21,260 something with social importance and big tear-jerking emotional things, 11 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,680 that we'd have a chance. 12 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,760 And the Emmy people would notice it just once. 13 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,440 Just once in our stinkin' miserable lives. 14 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,580 But I said no. 15 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,400 We're not gonna have our actors hammin' it up just to win some stupid award. 16 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,160 Drew, this homeless woman's havin' a baby for your consideration. 17 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:42,600 Quick, get her to the couch. 18 00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:45,020 We're gonna bring a life into this world. 19 00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:47,895 Oh, I tried to go to the hospital, but they sent 20 00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:50,281 me away, because I didn't have any insurance. 21 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,780 Don't worry, I'm a janitor. 22 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,940 I put stranger things out of tighter spaces. 23 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,360 Lewis, we're losin' her. 24 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,340 Dammit, it's a breach. 25 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,900 If I save the mother, I lose the baby. 26 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,040 And if I save the baby, I lose the mother. 27 00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:08,640 I wasn't ready to play God today. 28 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,020 What was that for? 29 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,200 You're out acting me. 30 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:13,380 That's impossible! 31 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:18,700 You get to give her mouth to mouth. 32 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,910 It's killing sex for me, but it's coming. 33 00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:30,170 Towel. 34 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:31,990 It's a girl. 35 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:34,270 A little baby homeless girl. 36 00:01:37,050 --> 00:01:40,570 Sure she'll bring lots of toothless smiles to your friends back in the alley. 37 00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:42,550 Oh, my God. 38 00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:44,730 How am I gonna afford to raise a baby? 39 00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,410 Now, give me all your money. 40 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:49,690 Hey, lady, don't do anything crazy. 41 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,210 Yeah, you don't wanna shoot anyone. 42 00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,810 Except that would make a good dying scene. 43 00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:55,890 Shoot me! 44 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:56,950 Shoot me first! 45 00:01:58,150 --> 00:01:59,150 Shoot me! 46 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:10,920 Great. 47 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,080 Now we're going to an enemy for sound. 48 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,936 So, after they arrested the homeless woman, what did they do with the baby? 49 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:06,960 Oh, they named her Emmy. 50 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,960 So, I don't think we'll ever see her again. 51 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:15,200 Hey, guys. 52 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:15,680 How you doing? 53 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:16,080 Hey, Drew. 54 00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:17,200 Oh, hi. 55 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,260 Is that a gun in your pocket? 56 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:19,456 You just happened to see me. 57 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,960 Oh, uh, it's a gun. 58 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,240 Listen, after yesterday, I'm not taking any chances. 59 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,436 Drew, I don't like the idea of you having guns in the house. 60 00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:28,660 Hey, it's my constitutional order. 61 00:03:28,661 --> 00:03:29,701 We're right to have a gun. 62 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:31,760 Besides, it's not hurting anybody. 63 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,880 It's not even loaded. 64 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,060 Here, look. 65 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:35,680 Now... 66 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:37,260 Now it's a killing machine. 67 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,260 Drew, all I know is that guns lead to terrible accidents. 68 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,276 Hey, we're all responsible adults here. 69 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,460 What could possibly go wrong? 70 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,280 Hi, mister. 71 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,060 We just moved in down the street. 72 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,400 We're curious latchkey kids who don't receive adequate supervision. 73 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,700 And we're on a scavenger hunt for sharp things. 74 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:03,040 And we're on a scavenger hunt for sharp things. 75 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:04,841 There's some knives in that drawer over there. 76 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,180 There's some knives in that drawer over there. 77 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,516 Can't give little kids knives to play with. 78 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,660 Am I the only one that cares about safety around here? 79 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,120 Who wants a beer? 80 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,560 Uh... 81 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:16,640 Hey, cool. 82 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,500 A toy gun. 83 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,800 Hey, hey, hey, listen. 84 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:19,940 That's a real gun. 85 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:20,520 That's not a toy. 86 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,560 You kids aren't supposed to be playing with that. 87 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,000 I'm going to put it in this drawer here to make sure you don't mess with it. 88 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:28,600 Now, here, listen. 89 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,680 This is where I keep the toy gun. 90 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,220 Let's see how smart you kids are. 91 00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,490 It's just a real gun, mister. 92 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:49,330 Uh... 93 00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:51,346 Hey, you kids are too young to play with guns anyway. 94 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,050 Here, here's some pennies. 95 00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:53,506 Why don't you go put them on the railroad track? 96 00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:54,530 All right! 97 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:55,790 Hey, hey, don't run. 98 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:06,520 Oh, wow. 99 00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:07,180 What's wrong? 100 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,360 Uh, it's another one of those headaches. 101 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,260 I'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow. 102 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,320 Oh, I'm sure it's nothing serious. 103 00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,340 After all, we've just recently fallen in love. 104 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:17,800 Hey, Drew. 105 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,360 Isn't it time for the game to start? 106 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,800 No, the game doesn't start till... 107 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,040 Hey, what about on my kitchen clock? 108 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,380 I'm going to hit the bathroom. 109 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,260 I don't even know what this is. 110 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,600 Why do I steal? 111 00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:01,850 Don't start with me today, pig. 112 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,070 Not today. 113 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:04,830 Is that a shower curtain? 114 00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:08,550 Yeah. 115 00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:11,710 Where's your toilet seat hat or are you going casual today? 116 00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:15,050 Leave me alone. 117 00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:16,570 I had a fire in my apartment last night. 118 00:06:16,571 --> 00:06:17,990 Oh, gee, I'm sorry. 119 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:18,670 Is Steve okay? 120 00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:19,910 Yeah, yeah. 121 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,030 But the stupid fireman wouldn't go back and it'd save my clothes. 122 00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:24,350 It's horrible. 123 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:29,690 The smell of burning shag carpeting and beads and snakeskin and linoleum. 124 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:31,550 And that was just one dress. 125 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:35,290 Well, how'd the fire start? 126 00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:37,190 Did your upper lady short out on the back 40? 127 00:06:39,270 --> 00:06:41,490 No, I forgot to check the iron. 128 00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:43,370 I should have checked. 129 00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:44,890 I always checked. 130 00:06:44,891 --> 00:06:46,070 I should have checked. 131 00:06:56,610 --> 00:06:59,970 Hey, Mimi, you missed one. 132 00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:02,990 Cut it out. 133 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:05,830 In high school, I had obsessive-compulsive disorder. 134 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,230 I guess I've been battling it all my life. 135 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:14,350 The trauma of the fire must have brought it all back. 136 00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:16,810 Sorry, I didn't know that. 137 00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:23,130 I always had to do things in threes. 138 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,310 That's how I got my reputation as a slut. 139 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,920 Well, gee, I'd hate to think another fire would start, just because you forgot to 140 00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:36,740 spin around three times, flap your arms like a chicken and say, Drew's a god. 141 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,960 It doesn't work that way. 142 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,980 You can't just suggest something, and then I do it. 143 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,460 Oh, crap, you can't. 144 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:54,030 Drew's a god. 145 00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:56,670 That wasn't his chicken-ease, I hoped it would be. 146 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,610 I don't have to take that. 147 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,730 I'm out of here. 148 00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:08,510 Mr. Wick, another Triple Meat Lovers hold the sauce? 149 00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:09,690 Where do you put it all? 150 00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:12,410 I exercise and I have a high metabolism. 151 00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:15,250 Excuse me. 152 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,140 Something's not right there. 153 00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:32,236 He couldn't have an eating disorder. 154 00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:33,520 That only happens to girls. 155 00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:35,580 True. 156 00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:37,420 I just went by the doctor's office to pick up 157 00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:39,000 Kate, and they told me to rush her to the hospital. 158 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:39,760 Oh, no, is she okay? 159 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,680 I don't know, but we better get down there. 160 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,160 Mr. Wick! 161 00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:48,020 Pizza delivery guy here for you. 162 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,200 Hold on a second, drop out. 163 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,320 I gotta answer this. 164 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,740 Oh, damn it, they always hang up. 165 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,180 Oh, crap. 166 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,860 Kate, honey, are you okay? 167 00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:26,160 Oh, you know, doctors, they make such a fuss. 168 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,320 So what if my heart doesn't beat on its own anymore? 169 00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:35,900 It'll take a lot more than that to keep Kate O'Brien down. 170 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,700 Oh, honey, even when you're sick, you're beautiful. 171 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,620 Excuse me, uh, Mr. Carey? 172 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:49,200 Yeah. 173 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,840 Can I talk to you for a moment? 174 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,400 Is there anything wrong, doctor? 175 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:54,940 No, I just need to go over some insurance matters. 176 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,400 She's dying. 177 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,500 What? 178 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,360 She has an extremely rare disease that atrophies the muscles of the heart. 179 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,080 I'm afraid it's fatal. 180 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:06,900 This is terrible. 181 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000 Why? 182 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,300 Whoa! 183 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,060 Whoa! 184 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:15,596 This isn't about you, honey. 185 00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,020 We're talking about something else. 186 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:19,780 I'm sorry. 187 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,460 There's nothing we can do now, except keep her comfortable. 188 00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:23,940 Ah, who cares? 189 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,040 She's dying anyway. 190 00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:31,450 Why did I just say something so cruel? 191 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,850 My shields are just a guard to keep people away. 192 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:42,210 Maybe I'm just afraid that they'll hate me just as much as I hate myself. 193 00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:45,510 I am a toilet of sadness. 194 00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:48,610 Oh, well. 195 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,190 At least I'm not a dying whore. 196 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,590 Oh, shields are back up. 197 00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,710 I wish there was someone who could forgive me. 198 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:06,076 Well, Doc, is there anything you can do? 199 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,100 Is there a cure? 200 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,280 Well, I've always thought that an unschooled layman could bring a fresh 201 00:11:11,281 --> 00:11:14,100 perspective to medical science and find a cure. 202 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:17,000 If it's anywhere, it'll be in here. 203 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,540 Good luck. 204 00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:21,480 Kate, I don't know how. 205 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,680 We're gonna beat this thing. 206 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,780 I'm gonna find a cure. 207 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:25,700 There's only one problem. 208 00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:28,680 I can't read. 209 00:11:34,530 --> 00:11:36,066 Hey, Drew, did you hear from the Emmy people yet? 210 00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:36,410 How are we doing? 211 00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:37,190 I don't know. 212 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,230 Let's check. 213 00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:42,190 Of course, I was against this whole Emmy snubbing episode. 214 00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:48,610 If anyone gets nominated from this show, it should be the one person that had the 215 00:11:48,611 --> 00:11:52,790 courage to say that they thought it was a bad idea. 216 00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:54,970 And that person would be me. 217 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:59,050 Craig Ferguson, the actor who plays Nigel Wick. 218 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:02,050 I will never get an Emmy. 219 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,510 Your character's too cartoonish. 220 00:12:07,670 --> 00:12:09,590 I can't believe Kate's dying. 221 00:12:09,591 --> 00:12:10,591 Yeah. 222 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:12,250 It's a shame. 223 00:12:12,550 --> 00:12:14,950 She would have made a nice crazy old bar fly. 224 00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,070 Shut up! 225 00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:18,750 She's not gonna die. 226 00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:21,270 Somewhere in this medical book is the cure. 227 00:12:21,630 --> 00:12:22,690 And I'm gonna find it. 228 00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,550 Toe! 229 00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:35,150 Toe! 230 00:12:35,590 --> 00:12:36,590 It says toe! 231 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:39,330 It says to, you idiot. 232 00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:43,770 It's the dedication. 233 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,930 It says to Mary. 234 00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:48,490 My B-low, uh... 235 00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:51,950 Withy. 236 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,250 Hey, don't do it for him. 237 00:12:54,910 --> 00:12:57,193 Sure, we could read the book and find a cure for Kate, 238 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,510 but how's that gonna help Drew to learn to read, huh? 239 00:12:59,610 --> 00:12:59,730 Yeah. 240 00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:02,030 Keep your eyes on the prize here. 241 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,250 So, Drew, how'd you get so far with them being able to read? 242 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,730 Well, uh, you know how I volunteer for Big Brothers? 243 00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:08,130 Mm-hmm. 244 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,658 While every weekend, instead of taking the kids hiking or 245 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,251 camping, bring them to my office and make them read my paperwork. 246 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,687 Maybe if you put half that energy into learning 247 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,770 how to read, you wouldn't be such an M-O-R-O-N. 248 00:13:21,150 --> 00:13:22,970 That spells moron, you piece of crap. 249 00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:29,640 I did it again. 250 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:32,160 I'm pushing people away. 251 00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:36,140 Maybe I'm rejecting them before they can reject me. 252 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:41,150 I need to tear down the wall and show others the kindness they show me. 253 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,840 You okay, buddy? 254 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,640 I'll be okay when you're dead. 255 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:00,900 Man, what's up with Lewis? 256 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:03,480 How can we keep slashing out like that? 257 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:05,580 Maybe I've been ignoring him. 258 00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:08,340 I've been so wrapped up in Kate dying and my own illiteracy. 259 00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:11,640 Drew, this is Miami device. 260 00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:18,220 I know where the phone is. 261 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,400 Hello? 262 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,040 No, what? 263 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:28,930 Kate's in a coma. 264 00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:31,290 Buddy, we'll make it through this. 265 00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:32,470 Come here. 266 00:14:45,490 --> 00:14:48,751 Hey, buddy, have you seen my... You bastard. 267 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:50,170 No, no, wait. 268 00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,130 I can explain. 269 00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:57,070 My dad's in prison and I secretly want to get caught so I can be closer. 270 00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:58,350 Yeah. 271 00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:04,030 Oh, buddy, I didn't know you missed your dad that much. 272 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,730 I only hit you once. 273 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,510 Thanks. 274 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,200 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 275 00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:23,320 We just thought we'd drop by and say our thoughts are with you. 276 00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:28,340 Well, I'm off to see the psychiatrist about my obsessive-compulsive disorder. 277 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:29,900 I'm almost cured. 278 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,180 And I'd just like to say to everyone that I... 279 00:15:34,181 --> 00:15:37,440 Well, I'm off to see the psychiatrist about my obsessive-compulsive disorder. 280 00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:38,860 I'm almost cured. 281 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:44,620 As I was saying, I realized that I had an eating disorder. 282 00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:47,420 Tricia and Mandy are part of my support group. 283 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:51,480 Top of the hour, last of the stall is the fattest of them all. 284 00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:57,080 Mr. Kerry, she's slipping away. 285 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,160 I think we should begin. 286 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,560 All right. 287 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:01,700 Oswald? 288 00:16:14,910 --> 00:16:15,910 Dearly, beloved. 289 00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:21,630 We're gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. 290 00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:24,110 We're here for the organs. 291 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:24,870 Not yet. 292 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:26,070 Get out, true vultures. 293 00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:28,470 But don't go far. 294 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:35,260 True Kerry, you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. 295 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,040 I do. 296 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,200 And I don't know why I'm asking this, but... 297 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,540 Kate O'Brien, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? 298 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,040 Where am I? 299 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,360 Well, that she's awake, the honeymoon's not going to be quite as creepy. 300 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,040 Do you, Kate O'Brien, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? 301 00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:05,580 I'm sorry. 302 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:06,660 She's gone. 303 00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:07,720 No! 304 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:12,940 I'm alive! 305 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,700 Stop hitting me! 306 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:17,500 He brought her back. 307 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:18,860 Father, quick. 308 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,680 And now by the power vested in me, I... Oh. 309 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:24,940 Don't you die on me, dammit! 310 00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:31,720 Oh, my God, it was beautiful. 311 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,160 The real meaning of life. 312 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:35,780 Shut up, Kate. 313 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,508 And now by the power vested in me by the 314 00:17:38,509 --> 00:17:41,981 state of Ohio, I now pronounce it your... Oh. 315 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,640 Left, dammit! 316 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,790 How come you're crying? 317 00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:02,030 I just lost the woman I love. 318 00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:07,031 You know, if you think about it, you haven't really lost her if she's in your heart. 319 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,590 I can see her in the moon, the clouds and the stars. 320 00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:15,410 Really, you can? 321 00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,590 Yeah, but I want heavy painkillers. 322 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:23,310 Thanks a lot. 323 00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,670 You really made me feel better. 324 00:18:24,990 --> 00:18:26,930 Whoa, you're a big, giant bunny. 325 00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:30,926 I think you better get back to your room, little girl. 326 00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:31,950 You're tripping. 327 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,440 I miss you so much. 328 00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:57,590 Drew? 329 00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:58,690 Drew? 330 00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:00,330 Drew? 331 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:01,530 Wake up. 332 00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:04,690 Kate? 333 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:06,750 You're alive. 334 00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:08,370 Of course. 335 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:10,630 I came to get you to go to lunch, but you were sleeping. 336 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,650 Then it was all a dream. 337 00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:17,890 I dreamt we were getting married. 338 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,050 Oh, sure. 339 00:19:19,230 --> 00:19:20,230 Do you want to marry me? 340 00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:20,710 Are you dying? 341 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,110 No. 342 00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,190 Then quit pressuring me. 343 00:19:27,570 --> 00:19:30,570 Actually, sweetie, there's something that I want to tell you. 344 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,370 I'm gay. 345 00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:38,470 I didn't mean to hurt you. 346 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:42,670 No, no, it's... it's so freeing to hear you say that. 347 00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:45,470 I'm gay too. 348 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,550 Drew, we heard the announcement. 349 00:19:48,590 --> 00:19:51,590 Yeah, we just wanted to tell everyone that we're gay too. 350 00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:56,990 Well, it's not really news, but go ahead. 351 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,450 I'm tired of living a lie. 352 00:20:01,110 --> 00:20:02,110 I'm gay too. 353 00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:05,210 It's time for this Queen Mary to set sail. 354 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,350 All hands on deck, boys. 355 00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,750 It's mutiny on the booty. 356 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:17,430 And the Emmy goes to... Stoned little dying girl from the Drew Carey Show. 357 00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:22,050 All right, that's it. 358 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,750 How much money do you have on you? 359 00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:27,270 I think I got about 20 bucks in here. 360 00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:28,130 I got 10. 361 00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:28,810 You got 20? 362 00:20:29,450 --> 00:20:30,970 All right, that means I got about $80. 363 00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:34,030 Where you going? 364 00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:35,710 I'm gonna buy us some Golden Globes. 365 00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:39,910 Well, the season's over. 366 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,255 I guess it's time to announce the winner of 367 00:20:41,256 --> 00:20:43,851 the Dr. Pepper Drew Carey April Fools contest. 368 00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:46,236 Now, since we're filming before we know who the actual winner 369 00:20:46,237 --> 00:20:48,431 is, they'll just use special effects to add it in later. 370 00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:51,410 Now, the technology is so good, you won't even be able to tell. 371 00:20:51,930 --> 00:20:54,810 So, the $200,000 goes to... 372 00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:57,630 This is an obsolete message. 373 00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:03,890 That's right. 374 00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:04,950 I said... 375 00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:07,135 This is where we announced the winner of the 376 00:21:07,136 --> 00:21:09,430 Drew Carey April Fools contest for the year 2000. 377 00:21:09,730 --> 00:21:10,730 Bye. 25226

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