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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:02,360
I like this one.
2
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:03,020
It's too soft.
3
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:05,180
I can't sleep in a bed that's softer than
I am.
4
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,200
A bed's an important purchase,
Drew.
5
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,200
You're gonna be spending 30% of your life
on it.
6
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,340
Sixty during the holidays.
7
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,020
Hey, Drew, look at this one.
8
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:15,060
It's on sale.
9
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,560
Hey.
10
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,200
This is nice.
11
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,880
You know, this helped my parents suffer 40
years.
12
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,920
When, like, the phone rang, my dad leaned
over my lawn to get it.
13
00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,220
That's how I was born.
14
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,540
Ooh, it's good on your back, too.
15
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:40,420
This good, too.
16
00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:43,960
Drew, I'm ready to have sex with you.
17
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,580
Not here.
18
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:46,800
Come here.
19
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,660
I mean, are you sure you're ready?
20
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,800
You okay with this?
21
00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:51,380
Yeah.
22
00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:54,940
You know all the things I said about
taking it slow, making it special,
23
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,180
blah, blah, blah?
24
00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:57,420
Who am I kidding?
25
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,580
I'm not that kind of girl.
26
00:00:58,920 --> 00:00:59,920
Just do me.
27
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:01,960
Just do me?
28
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:02,200
Yeah.
29
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,800
Well, that little phrase will put I love
you out of business.
30
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:05,980
So, what do you think?
31
00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:08,340
Are you free for Saturday night for a
date?
32
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:09,800
Pause for dignity?
33
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000
Yes.
34
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:12,220
You know what?
35
00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:14,900
This bed even has one of those built-in
massagers.
36
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:20,980
Hey, Kate?
37
00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:21,440
Yeah?
38
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:22,740
I might want to shut that off.
39
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,400
I think I'm having our date right now.
40
00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:16,860
What's it say?
41
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:17,120
Sh!
42
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:18,920
It's purple.
43
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,760
No, I think it's pink.
44
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:21,780
It's purple.
45
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,120
No, no, no, no.
46
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,160
It's pink.
47
00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:25,616
Hey, Drew, what color is this?
48
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,680
Is it purple or pink?
49
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,300
Uh, it's pink.
50
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:30,660
Is this what I think it is?
51
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,400
It's my home pregnancy test.
52
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:44,620
You might want to change your water.
53
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,080
What the hell are you doing this at work
for?
54
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,820
I'm checking every time I go to the
bathroom until I get pregnant.
55
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:52,080
I want a damn baby!
56
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,440
Look, we've been trying for so long.
57
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:58,000
Maybe there's a problem...
58
00:02:58,780 --> 00:02:59,780
with me.
59
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,300
I mean, we're a cross-dresser half your
life.
60
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:06,120
Maybe all those years of strapping it
down, put a kink in the hose.
61
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,100
Well, that could be, but it takes two to
tango.
62
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:12,320
The problem could be with you.
63
00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:15,780
Hey, this crackerjack always has a prize
in it.
64
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,200
We both want a baby.
65
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,560
I think we should both go to the doctor.
66
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:23,660
I'm gonna go make an appointment right
now.
67
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,720
Okay, I'll make an appointment,
too.
68
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,580
But I know it's not my fault.
69
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,320
I could drop an egg at Will.
70
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:32,900
I think I remember that from your resume.
71
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:35,820
Shut up, pig.
72
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,280
At least I'm having sex.
73
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,180
Yeah, right.
74
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,480
I'm not having sex.
75
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,760
Wait a minute.
76
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:47,380
There's something going on here.
77
00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:51,540
Drew, I know you're trying to hide
something in that bag.
78
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,620
Why don't you just give it to me,
because you know I'm gonna get it.
79
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:56,380
No, I'm not giving it up without a fight.
80
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,120
Okay.
81
00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,440
Give me the bag!
82
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:04,260
Did you really think I had a gun?
83
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:05,640
Yes, I did.
84
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,860
How does that make you feel?
85
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:10,840
Ooh, Mr. Wick.
86
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:11,720
Check it out.
87
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,080
Massage oil.
88
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,200
Ooh, scented candles.
89
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,760
Barry White CD.
90
00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:18,780
Oh.
91
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:20,514
Either you and O'Brien
are gonna do it, or it's getting
92
00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:22,940
to the point where you gotta
get your hand in the mood.
93
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:27,440
It's called romance.
94
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,640
Not all of us can make our ass glow red to
attract a mate.
95
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:37,070
This is big, Kenny.
96
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:42,050
Sex for the first time with the woman
you've loved your whole life.
97
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,870
I'm sure you won't let the pressure get to
you.
98
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:47,190
I feel I must congratulate you.
99
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:48,950
Prematually.
100
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,670
It's not gonna work, sir.
101
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:55,030
Well, I'm sure you're gonna screw this up.
102
00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:58,070
Sir, to help you, I'm going to let you in
on one of my sexual secrets.
103
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,990
Something that drives the ladies wild.
104
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:07,330
Sir, you just blew in my ear and called me
a dirty girl.
105
00:05:09,190 --> 00:05:11,630
Yes, well, it loses its effect without a
nipple tweak.
106
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,000
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
107
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,320
I said I was going out tonight.
108
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,640
Well, we always come over when you're not
home.
109
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,340
The question is, what are you doing here?
110
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,016
What's going on in the living room?
111
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,040
Don't go in there.
112
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,620
Whoa, look at this place.
113
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,680
Candles everywhere, rose petals on the
ground, champagne.
114
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,680
Uh, Drew, I must princess Di too.
115
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,280
No, tonight's my big night with Kate.
116
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,060
Although, uh, since you guys are here,
maybe you take Speedy.
117
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:56,860
Why?
118
00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,165
Well, uh, he likes to watch
and he always barks at
119
00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:01,421
all the women because
he thinks they're hurting me.
120
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,400
Well, it actually was, but I could have
handled it.
121
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,100
Oh, yeah.
122
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,240
I guess we better get going, huh?
123
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:12,520
Mm -hmm.
124
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,940
You two kids have fun now.
125
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:16,540
Okay.
126
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,680
Hey.
127
00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:26,340
Hey.
128
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,680
Bear, bear, bear, bear.
129
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,860
You'll be a woman.
130
00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:33,717
Shoo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
131
00:06:33,718 --> 00:06:36,681
-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo.
132
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,840
Can I get you some champagne?
133
00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:42,740
Sure.
134
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,440
Uh, I thought we'd have some more DERVs.
135
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,300
And I fixed your favorite meal.
136
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,240
And then maybe we could listen to this,
uh, jazz CD.
137
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,480
Mm-hmm.
138
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:54,700
Wow,
139
00:06:57,180 --> 00:07:00,441
you know, we just skipped about, uh,
five steps there, but that's okay with me.
140
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,540
How about we skip five more?
141
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,120
So, do you just want to be friends?
142
00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:17,510
Hey, uh, let's, uh, set the mood a little
bit.
143
00:07:17,910 --> 00:07:18,910
A little fire.
144
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:23,570
Pretty realistic, huh?
145
00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:25,390
I almost smell it.
146
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,350
It smells a little like your deodorant.
147
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:29,890
Yeah, same company.
148
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:34,330
So, uh, fire, new sheets, new bed.
149
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:38,050
Uh, I even fuddled in a four-way light
bulb.
150
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,770
Didn't know much lighting you like.
151
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:41,050
You like it like this?
152
00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:42,730
Like this?
153
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:43,830
Like this?
154
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:44,950
Or like this?
155
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:47,210
I'll go through it again.
156
00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:47,810
Like this?
157
00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:48,870
It's true.
158
00:07:49,110 --> 00:07:49,870
Would you relax it?
159
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,030
It actually doesn't matter.
160
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,770
Sorry, I'm just a little anxious about
this whole thing.
161
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,686
Hey, you're not the only one that's
nervous.
162
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:57,230
I kind of over freshened.
163
00:07:57,290 --> 00:07:59,330
I hope you really, really like spring
rain.
164
00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:01,110
Hey!
165
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:09,420
This is gonna be great.
166
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,800
I don't even know why we waited.
167
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:11,420
I like it.
168
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,760
If it doesn't go well, it's kind of a bad
sign.
169
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,420
You know, it's that whole sexual chemistry
thing.
170
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,916
But, you know, I mean, everything in this
relationship has been so great,
171
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:22,860
the only thing that could screw it up is
bad sex.
172
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,240
Okay, well, goodbye erection.
173
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,440
What's wrong?
174
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,737
You pretty much told
me if I don't hit it out
175
00:08:31,738 --> 00:08:34,281
of the ballpark, it's
back to the farm team.
176
00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:36,800
Sweetie, that's not what I meant.
177
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,660
I'll just sit and watch the roaring video
fire for a minute.
178
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:42,300
Okay.
179
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,280
Drew, I didn't mean anything.
180
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,460
I just wanted to be really special.
181
00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:47,740
I do, too.
182
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,640
The fire's starting to heat up again.
183
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000
Uh-huh.
184
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:57,920
Okay, we got a towering inferno here.
185
00:08:58,020 --> 00:08:59,020
Let's just do this.
186
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:01,840
Let's just do this?
187
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:03,460
I'm not burying a cat.
188
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,480
I didn't mean it.
189
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,640
I meant, you know, something that won't
make you mad.
190
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,620
You know what?
191
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,460
Maybe we should just start over.
192
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:16,480
Okay.
193
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,840
And this time, maybe you couldn't talk so
much.
194
00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:25,000
So, you want me to shut up and put my legs
up in the air?
195
00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:27,220
Is that a trick question?
196
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:32,280
That's it.
197
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:33,620
I'm out of here.
198
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,260
Oh, Keith, come on.
199
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:35,460
Wait.
200
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:36,940
Wait a second.
201
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,041
I was... I love you.
202
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,520
I'm wearing something that tastes good.
203
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:48,340
Hey, Drew.
204
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:48,920
You seen Mimi?
205
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:50,340
Yeah.
206
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,540
Okay, something's wrong with my little
bro.
207
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:54,980
I'm all right.
208
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,500
I can tell there's something wrong.
209
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:57,780
Because you're hitting yourself.
210
00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:58,460
Let's cut it out.
211
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,240
Tell yourself you're doing it.
212
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,300
Okay, okay, stop it.
213
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,110
I screwed things up with Kate last night.
214
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,570
I've been calling her all day,
but she won't answer her phone.
215
00:10:08,571 --> 00:10:09,571
Don't worry.
216
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:12,570
Why are you touching yourself?
217
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,110
Oh, I'm just adjusting the coolant in my
boxers.
218
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:16,950
I'm trying to keep my sperm count up.
219
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:21,850
See, Mimi and I went to a clinic, and
turns out we both have impaired fertility.
220
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:23,470
Hey, but it's easy to fix.
221
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,487
You've just got to wear
these special boxers, and
222
00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,731
I have to take female
hormone shots every day.
223
00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:30,950
So, how many shots do you have to take
before you become a woman?
224
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:37,005
If I wasn't feeling so
ladylike from all this estrogen,
225
00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:39,651
I would bitch-slap you all
the way to the coffee machine.
226
00:10:44,690 --> 00:10:46,390
Hey, I've been trying to call you.
227
00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:49,010
Jared, last night was a disaster.
228
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:50,390
I don't think it's working.
229
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:50,910
No, it's working.
230
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,770
I slapped some sense into it after you
left.
231
00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,680
Maybe the problem is that we rush things
too much.
232
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,900
I don't think we're ready.
233
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:03,000
Come on, honey.
234
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,480
I'm rotting on the vine here.
235
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,720
Well, I don't know what to do.
236
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:07,960
I don't want to repeat it last night.
237
00:11:07,961 --> 00:11:08,580
No, no, no.
238
00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,416
I think we just put too much pressure on
ourselves.
239
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,260
You know, we need to be more spontaneous.
240
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:14,096
You know, just do it when the mood
strikes.
241
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,200
Yeah, that'd be great, Jared, but you're
not really a spontaneous kind of guy.
242
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,120
You lay out your underwear for the whole
week.
243
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,440
It's a time saver.
244
00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:26,300
Yeah, I can be spontaneous.
245
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,040
Okay, copy room, right now.
246
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:33,440
Hey, I said I was spontaneous.
247
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,540
I'm not the office whore.
248
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,940
See, I told you, you're not spontaneous.
249
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:38,720
I am.
250
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,740
I am spontaneous, and I'll prove it to
you.
251
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,240
Someday, sometime, when you least expect
it, we're gonna have sex.
252
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:49,581
And it may not be good, it may not be
satisfying, but at least we'll be spontaneous.
253
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,040
I mean, this report I gave you has a typo
in it.
254
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,960
I need you to fix it before you send it
out.
255
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,100
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Wick.
256
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,260
I just can't seem to get any work done
today.
257
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,920
Hey, are you okay?
258
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:12,960
Fine.
259
00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:15,760
It's just these hormone shots that I'm
taking, and...
260
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,440
they're giving me kind of mood swings.
261
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,220
What if I can never have a child?
262
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:22,480
I don't want to die alone!
263
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,800
All right, toodles.
264
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,090
They're there.
265
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:35,930
You're not the only one with problems.
266
00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,850
My own mum didn't even love me.
267
00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:40,990
Daddy?
268
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:42,670
He didn't love me either.
269
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:45,650
He tried to trade me for an onion!
270
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,780
So, you see, all I
have left in the world is
271
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:56,581
that report, and I
still need it out by 5!
272
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,490
Why, you Mr. Wick!
273
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:07,990
Mr. Wick!
274
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:09,690
Yes!
275
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:15,190
Would you... Don't speak!
276
00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:16,410
Just type!
277
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:24,600
What is it?
278
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,160
Do you think that God wants me to have a
baby?
279
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,220
Oh, yeah, you gotta keep that circus
tradition alive.
280
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,800
Speak?
281
00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:39,930
Uh-oh.
282
00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:42,830
It's not so funny when you just come out
and say it like that.
283
00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:47,990
Come on, Mimi, don't cry.
284
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,420
Hey there, you.
285
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,900
Listen, I'm gonna give you a personal day.
286
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,959
I want you to go home,
crawl in a cage, chew
287
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,581
on a rubber hamburger,
call your vet a vet.
288
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,460
Okay.
289
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,600
Okay, what?
290
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,240
Okay, pig.
291
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:18,460
Atta girl.
292
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:21,940
What's up with her?
293
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:25,760
She's been crying the blues and greens and
the yellows.
294
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:26,920
It's all running together.
295
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,600
So, you ready for lunch?
296
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:31,460
Yeah.
297
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:34,780
Actually, things didn't go so well with
Kate last night.
298
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:36,300
Yeah.
299
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,120
At least I'm surprised.
300
00:14:39,740 --> 00:14:42,200
Oh, my God, things didn't go well with
Kate?
301
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,420
What the hell is going on?
302
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:46,720
Black is white, up is down.
303
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,640
The world doesn't make any sense!
304
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:53,510
Thank you.
305
00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:56,207
Now, we decided to
try it again, but I have to
306
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,311
prove to her that I can
do it spontaneously.
307
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:00,070
You're not spontaneous.
308
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:00,950
You should lay out your underwear.
309
00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:02,070
We can advance.
310
00:15:03,450 --> 00:15:04,790
It's a time saver.
311
00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:08,270
Now, I got a plan.
312
00:15:08,930 --> 00:15:10,706
Tomorrow night, we're gonna have a beer at
my house.
313
00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:13,610
You guys leave, but you take Speedy with
you.
314
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:17,630
Then you go outside and cut the master
switch to the fuse box, throwing my house
315
00:15:17,631 --> 00:15:20,650
into darkness, and Kate right into my
arms.
316
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:24,670
Now, to make this simple for you,
all I have to remember is this.
317
00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:26,330
Leave.
318
00:15:26,331 --> 00:15:27,331
Dog.
319
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:28,550
Lights.
320
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:31,490
You know, it helps me to remember things
if I put it into a song.
321
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:33,210
Leave, dog, lights.
322
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:34,750
Leave, dog, lights.
323
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,390
Leave, dog, lights.
324
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,070
Leave, dog, lights.
325
00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:39,530
Leave, dog, lights.
326
00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:40,030
Leave, dog, lights.
327
00:15:40,031 --> 00:15:41,050
Leave, dog, lights.
328
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,190
You know why?
329
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:45,030
It sounds an awful lot like your underwear
pants shoes song.
330
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,680
Ah, the worst I was packed tonight.
331
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,180
So, I guess you guys got someplace you
need to go.
332
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:00,920
Ah, the game's on.
333
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,480
We thought we'd just hang out here.
334
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,000
Does this remind you of anything?
335
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:09,900
Underwear pants shoes.
336
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,400
Underwear pants shoes.
337
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,500
Do you guys want a beer?
338
00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:14,820
Yeah, thanks.
339
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,000
No, leave, dog, lights.
340
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,960
Oh, no, no.
341
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,700
We switched it to the Spider-Man theme.
342
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,660
Leave, dog, lights.
343
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:23,780
Leave, dog, lights.
344
00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:25,860
For a neighborhood, leave, dog,
lights.
345
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,880
Just drink your beer, get Speedy,
and get out of here.
346
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:31,160
Okay.
347
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,240
Well, actually, we're just going.
348
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,500
Yeah.
349
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:35,380
Oh.
350
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:36,240
Come on.
351
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,580
Well, why are you taking Speedy?
352
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:39,860
Uh...
353
00:16:39,861 --> 00:16:43,960
Boy, it's a sad state of affairs when two
single guys and their best friend's dog
354
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,921
can't go out at night without raising an
eyebrows.
355
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:52,670
What's going on, Drew?
356
00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:54,330
You didn't plan anything, did you?
357
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:55,250
Plan anything?
358
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:56,270
No.
359
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:59,450
Anything you see tonight is totally
spontaneous.
360
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:01,970
Drew said it was the third switch on the
left.
361
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,850
I can't believe you planned this,
Drew.
362
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:09,610
I ought to walk out of here right now.
363
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,919
Or maybe I should show
you how to be spontaneous
364
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,171
by making you have
hours and hours of hot sex.
365
00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:16,610
I guess I had that coming.
366
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:17,770
Yeah.
367
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,280
Oh, I'm sorry, Speedy.
368
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,940
You can't watch Drew having sex.
369
00:17:24,941 --> 00:17:27,880
Although it would be cute to see you try
to put your paws over your eyes.
370
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:31,260
Oh, crap.
371
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,940
Now we gotta get him out of the garage to
put the leash on him.
372
00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:35,060
Hey, listen.
373
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:38,340
Just open the door and trick him into
thinking we're gonna let him back in.
374
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:40,700
Uh-oh, Speedy.
375
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:42,160
We left the back door wide open.
376
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,320
Come on, boy.
377
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:49,260
Hey, look.
378
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,180
He brought us beer.
379
00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:51,660
But why'd he put away over there?
380
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,740
Because he's a dumb animal.
381
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:56,260
Come on, let's go get him.
382
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:10,130
We will never speak of this again.
383
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:14,510
Drew?
384
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:16,510
Yeah?
385
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,090
I think it's time for you to gift wrap
your present.
386
00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:21,470
Oh, yeah.
387
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:24,250
Um, when we left the condoms in the
bathroom, we're right back.
388
00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:42,930
Drew?
389
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,030
Are you panting?
390
00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:48,070
Better believe it, baby.
391
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:53,910
I'm in the up-and-lock position and we are
ready for takeoff.
392
00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:58,430
All right.
393
00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:00,530
Get ready for some vanilla thunder.
394
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:05,170
Drew, are you okay?
395
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:06,930
Say something.
396
00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:08,150
I fell on my penis.
397
00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:09,370
Call an ambulance.
398
00:19:20,210 --> 00:19:21,210
Hey, Drew.
399
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:22,230
How are you?
400
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:23,270
Are you in pain?
401
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:24,450
I'll be all right.
402
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:26,290
I don't know if I can actually sprain it.
403
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:31,611
Now I know my mom always said never run in
the house with an erection.
404
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:36,830
So, what'd the doctor say?
405
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,990
I have to stay off for six to eight weeks.
406
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,070
Honey, I'll wait for you as long as it
takes.
407
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:46,450
Yeah, well, uh, it'll be okay.
408
00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:50,071
As soon as I'm able to pee without screaming,
we'll all have a good laugh about this.
409
00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:55,390
And just so you don't think it's all gloom
and doom here at Cleveland Clinic,
410
00:19:56,470 --> 00:20:00,909
this man tripped over his dog
and tore his corpus cavernosa,
411
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:03,810
the spongy bodies of a
erectile tissue in the penis.
412
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:07,530
Mr. Carey, do you mind if the students
have a look?
413
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,290
What the hell?
414
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:11,650
I'll never be this big again.
415
00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:20,150
Now what you're about to see is not for
the faint-hearted.
416
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,490
Ladies and little nippers are strictly
forbidden.
417
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:29,364
Now, this poor, miserable
creature was born of normal parents,
418
00:20:29,365 --> 00:20:33,230
but an horrible accident
left it in this deplorable state.
419
00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:37,040
As you look upon this
human oddity, count your
420
00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:40,890
blessings that the Lord
did not make you thus!
421
00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:58,180
A man with a broken penis!
422
00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:01,220
Do it, the freak!
423
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,440
Do it, the freak!
27863
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