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1
00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:02,600
Hey, thanks for coming over on such short
notice.
2
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:04,340
How's it looking there?
3
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,360
You do know this is a dryer, right?
4
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,160
Of course I know it's a dryer.
5
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,480
Okay, I'm just trying to figure out why
there's cheese in your lint trap.
6
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,300
We were drunk, we had pizza mix,
blow dryer was taking too long.
7
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,020
That's the most stupid thing I ever heard.
8
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:24,080
Not for long, I haven't finished the story
yet.
9
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,200
Can't wait.
10
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:28,960
Well, see, we're making pizza in the dryer
because we're already making ashtrays in
11
00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:31,041
the oven and a Tupperware sculpture in the
microwave.
12
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:34,420
Did that mention we were drunk?
13
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,280
Don't feel bad, I get a lot of calls like
this.
14
00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:40,980
Yeah, well, listen, before you go around
the neighborhood telling everybody that
15
00:00:40,981 --> 00:00:43,071
Drew Carey's a drunken
lunatic, I just want to tell you
16
00:00:43,072 --> 00:00:45,276
that we were drunk last night
because we were celebrating.
17
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:45,620
Oh, yeah?
18
00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:46,200
What for?
19
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,164
Oh, I finally made the last
payment on engagement
20
00:00:48,165 --> 00:00:49,680
ring I bought for this
woman who dumped me.
21
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:50,640
You want to see it?
22
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:51,780
Sit in the freezer.
23
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:53,940
Is it still on her finger?
24
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:57,860
Hey, Drew.
25
00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,080
Hey, everybody.
26
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,020
This is Sharon.
27
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,400
She came here to fix all the stuff we
broke last night.
28
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,480
We're really sorry about that,
Drew.
29
00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:06,020
Can she do anything about the VCR?
30
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,500
You broke the VCR?
31
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:08,460
No.
32
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,675
I was thinking that the
VCR was sad because the
33
00:01:11,676 --> 00:01:14,001
dryer was broken because
they're friends and stuff.
34
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:17,960
I got to go tally this up.
35
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:20,420
And I'm not just saying this because it's
good for business.
36
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:21,960
Party on.
37
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:24,740
Wow.
38
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:26,740
Nice looking handyman.
39
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:27,620
Yeah.
40
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,240
Did she borrow your tool?
41
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,200
You mean my penis?
42
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,620
Yeah, she used my penis to fix the dryer.
43
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:40,247
Well, you weren't so
high and mighty last night
44
00:01:40,248 --> 00:01:42,581
when you're wrestling the
dog in your boxer shorts.
45
00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:44,580
I never did that.
46
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:45,900
Who did?
47
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:47,880
Who cares who did it?
48
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,020
What is this, a witch hunt?
49
00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:53,340
That's it, Drew.
50
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,400
No more broken hearts.
51
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:55,900
I can't handle the drinking anymore.
52
00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:57,900
Last night, I thought I was cheating on
Oswald.
53
00:01:58,260 --> 00:01:59,380
Luckily, it was just Oswald.
54
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,440
I was a sailor called Pablo.
55
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,036
You know, I think Drew should get right
back on the horse, huh?
56
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,001
And right out there is a
handywoman who is seen
57
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:11,981
and apparently accepts
how creepy he lives.
58
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:13,340
Would you let it go?
59
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,480
Let him get over Nicky.
60
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:15,400
Hey, I'm over Nicky.
61
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:18,640
I realized that last night when I was
sitting here feeling bad for myself,
62
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,740
thinking, man, I am the biggest loser in
the world.
63
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,680
Then I saw Lewis out in the backyard
wrestling with Speedy.
64
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,680
Would you drop it, okay?
65
00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:30,420
At the time, I thought he was a grizzly.
66
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,740
Excuse me for saving your house.
67
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,940
So if you saw over Nicky, why don't you
ask the handywoman out?
68
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,300
Would you give it a rest?
69
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,460
He was just engaged.
70
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,940
If we broke up, would you be dating in
less than a month?
71
00:02:43,941 --> 00:02:46,280
I wouldn't, but Pablo might.
72
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,640
All right, Drew.
73
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:50,940
Here's your bill.
74
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:54,200
And about the VCR, I took off ten bucks
because I found a porno tape in there.
75
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:57,960
I'm keeping it.
76
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,060
Well, this isn't so bad.
77
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,760
Are you always just reasonable or are you
just doing a crappy job?
78
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,360
I think she gave you an I like you
discount.
79
00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,820
There's something I want to show you in
the car.
80
00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:12,080
No, there isn't.
81
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,240
You just want to yell at me.
82
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,200
We don't call it yelling.
83
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,180
What do we call it?
84
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,720
Stuff I should know by now.
85
00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:26,640
Hey, look, my friend's from Meanwhile,
I don't want you to take this the wrong
86
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:29,140
way or anything, but I'm not looking to
meet anybody right now.
87
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:29,820
I'm sorry.
88
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,280
That's okay.
89
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,660
You're not my type anyway.
90
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,760
Well, I was just about to tell you the
same thing, but right before you said it.
91
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,980
Good, because I'm not interested.
92
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:39,800
Neither am I.
93
00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:43,300
Okay, I just want to make sure you realize
I was not flirting with you.
94
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:44,540
I'm sorry.
95
00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:46,120
I find you dull and uninteresting.
96
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:47,340
Did you say something?
97
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,040
Yeah, I was just fantasizing about a real
man.
98
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:51,180
Bye.
99
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,020
I still got it.
100
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,060
No, you don't.
101
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,060
I saw the flyers you posted around the
store.
102
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,820
Engagement ring for sale.
103
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,120
Why not just write pathetic loser
everywhere?
104
00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:51,940
Any other broken dreams you're looking to
sell?
105
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:54,940
Perhaps an unopened box of condoms.
106
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,460
I know you're familiar with American
culture, but our customs dictate that I
107
00:04:59,461 --> 00:05:01,556
pop you in the mouth next time you say
something like that.
108
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:02,580
I'm game.
109
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,520
Although I must warn you, my screams can
be quite yuppy or something.
110
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,867
I'm sure you're not bragging,
sir, but unless you want
111
00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:12,001
to buy the engagement ring,
I have to get back to work.
112
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:13,140
Well, let's see it then.
113
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:14,700
You gonna engage, sir?
114
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:18,621
Well, for the weekend at least, although I
sense we will be growing apart by Sunday.
115
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,300
I'm not selling it to you.
116
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,000
This means a lot to me.
117
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,136
I'm not gonna sell it to you, just so you
can get lucky.
118
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:24,520
Fine!
119
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,586
Then let it be on your
head that this poor woman
120
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,881
slept with me and got
absolutely nothing out of it!
121
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:34,400
Here you go, pig.
122
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:39,340
Any luck unloading that ring that you got
back because your girlfriend dumped you?
123
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:42,260
Do you always have to add because your
girlfriend dumped you?
124
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,220
Oh, I'm sorry.
125
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,660
Are you in a bad mood because your
girlfriend dumped you?
126
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:48,060
Yeah, sure.
127
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:48,860
It's easy for you.
128
00:05:48,861 --> 00:05:52,540
I mean, you have all kinds of admirers,
and look at those flowers.
129
00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:55,901
Oh, what kind of fool
do you think I... Oh!
130
00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:58,020
Oh!
131
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,720
No card.
132
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:02,440
Could be somebody shy.
133
00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:05,220
Could be somebody don't know how to write.
134
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,580
Could be a secret admirer.
135
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,140
Could be super glue.
136
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,680
You're paying for this, pig!
137
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,120
Hey, it's midnight, the garden of mean and
ugly.
138
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:32,920
Hey, Drew.
139
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:33,320
Hey.
140
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:34,340
Hey, Drew, we're going to lunch.
141
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:34,760
You wanna come?
142
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:38,380
Uh, yeah, I'd love to, but I have to work,
so you guys go ahead without me.
143
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,760
Uh, ain't Drew.
144
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:45,700
When, uh, when you borrowed my super glue,
is this what it was for?
145
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:46,880
Yeah.
146
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,040
That's a good gag.
147
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,260
Sorry I'm late, Drew.
148
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,396
I got your call on my pager.
149
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:54,620
I got here as soon as I could.
150
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:55,220
What's the problem?
151
00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:56,876
Oh, uh, Sharon, I'll bear with you.
152
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,580
My friends are just about to leave.
153
00:06:59,280 --> 00:06:59,840
Oh, I get it.
154
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,100
You, uh, you got work to do.
155
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,680
With the handyman.
156
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,020
I guess Drew got tired of doing it
yourself.
157
00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:12,370
Excuse me, do you think you're hiding?
158
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,540
No, I've been bloomed.
159
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,840
Sorry, my friends make a bad first
impression, but it's an accurate one.
160
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,736
Sharon, this is the chair I'm having
trouble with right there.
161
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,140
Can you, would you excuse us?
162
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:35,300
Don't tell me you needed Sharon to come
over here and fix your chair.
163
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,120
The store has tons of maintenance people.
164
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:39,936
Oh, you know how long it takes those guys
to get here after you call them.
165
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,960
I mean, hey, Mr. Carey, have anything you
need done today?
166
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,240
No, thanks, Jimmy.
167
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:48,181
You want me to just hang out and wait
around in case something breaks?
168
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,880
Get the hell out of here, Jimmy.
169
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,040
Drew, you're on the rebound and you're
real vulnerable right now.
170
00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,140
Just take it slow.
171
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,300
Don't get too attached.
172
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,000
Don't worry.
173
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,120
I just want somebody I can do couple stuff
with.
174
00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:05,462
I mean, you have Oswald,
who's has Pinky, I just want,
175
00:08:05,463 --> 00:08:07,601
they'd be fun to have
someone to hang around with.
176
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:10,360
But, Drew, it's not gonna
get... Have a good time at lunch.
177
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:11,660
Bye.
178
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,800
Boy, the springs are shot.
179
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,520
Did it safe fall on this thing?
180
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,571
Listen, uh, the chair
really is broken, but
181
00:08:19,572 --> 00:08:22,221
that's not the real reason
I called you up here.
182
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,080
Oh, listen, uh, you're a really nice guy.
183
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,620
Hey, before you try to guess where this is
going, yes, I'm gonna ask you out,
184
00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:32,460
but only as a friend.
185
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,520
Oh, so that's why the engagement didn't
work out.
186
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:38,140
Sure, I'll be your friend.
187
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,880
I always wanted a gay friend.
188
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:42,740
I'm not gay.
189
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:43,160
Look at me.
190
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,420
I'm not in that kind of shape.
191
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,220
So, you just want to be friends?
192
00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:52,692
Yeah, I just thought it'd be fun
to go out with somebody who
193
00:08:52,693 --> 00:08:55,021
won't fall in love with me, I
won't fall in love with them.
194
00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:56,400
You know, no pressure.
195
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,000
Just two friends out having fun.
196
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:00,200
Friend, huh?
197
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:00,620
Yeah.
198
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,480
Want to talk about this over lunch?
199
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:05,260
Yeah, but I gotta warn you, I don't talk
much while I'm eating.
200
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,160
Give me a moment while I try to react with
surprise.
201
00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:13,540
Hey, you're funny.
202
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:14,320
You like flowers?
203
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,520
Come here.
204
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,384
You know, at first, I
thought being Easter eggs
205
00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:23,681
was gonna be a drag,
but it's actually kind of fun.
206
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,760
Hey, guys, I got the prettiest girl on the
block.
207
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:26,800
Aw, ooh!
208
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:34,470
Come on, come on.
209
00:09:34,830 --> 00:09:36,490
More pain in less talking, okay?
210
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,270
If we don't get these over to Reverend
Linderman, there's gonna be a whole bunch
211
00:09:39,271 --> 00:09:43,591
of kids walking around the church lawn
filling their Easter baskets full of dog poop.
212
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:46,670
Pinky, can I have another egg?
213
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:47,750
Sure.
214
00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:50,330
What's that new drug you're testing for
drug code again?
215
00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:56,770
Oh, yeah, the one that alters your sense
of distance.
216
00:09:57,350 --> 00:09:59,570
Honey, honey, I'm really sorry.
217
00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:02,030
Pinky, I'm right here.
218
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:04,710
Everything's okay.
219
00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:06,130
Okay, thanks, honey.
220
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,750
Try drinking six feet behind your head,
huh?
221
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,570
There you go.
222
00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:15,990
Well, I gotta drop these off at the
reverence.
223
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:18,170
Here we go.
224
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:23,330
Well, I'm gonna go finish tightening up
that banister.
225
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,166
Is there something else you wanted me to
do?
226
00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:27,370
Uh, yeah, can you...
227
00:10:27,371 --> 00:10:28,800
tick the lid off the main
A-star, but just loosen
228
00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,691
it so I can open it up
in front of my friends.
229
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:42,420
How long are these effects gonna last?
230
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,640
Oh, about a week.
231
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,636
You know what, maybe you shouldn't come
over tonight.
232
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,440
Sex could be dangerous.
233
00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:51,340
I'm sorry, it just... it looked like that
sleeve was about ten feet long.
234
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:53,180
To hell with danger.
235
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:04,740
Thanks.
236
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:05,900
How much do I owe you?
237
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,440
Tell you what.
238
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,580
No charge if you give me an honest answer
about something.
239
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:13,600
Okay.
240
00:11:13,660 --> 00:11:17,500
Uh, even though I've never seen that color
in nature, I think your hair looks great.
241
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,780
Uh, no, I was gonna ask.
242
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,100
Is there something about me that puts guys
off?
243
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:30,240
I had this date later.
244
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:30,620
Oh.
245
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:31,900
And he canceled.
246
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:33,840
He said he had to work late.
247
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:35,680
People have to work late.
248
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:36,856
It's happened to me tons of times.
249
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,736
I can't tell you how many women I've gone
out with that said they had to work late.
250
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,760
Oh, a solution.
251
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,940
This isn't the first time.
252
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,760
I mean, I get canceled on, or I go out
once, and I never hear from the guy again.
253
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,100
Well, I don't know, you're kind of tough,
but I like that.
254
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,640
And it can't be your looks, because you're
really cute.
255
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,601
I mean... Man, you're adorable.
256
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,700
I am not.
257
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:03,720
Yeah.
258
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,120
Yeah, you are.
259
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,060
You know what?
260
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,100
Hey, hell with anybody who stands you up,
huh?
261
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,020
I'm here, you're here, we got music.
262
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000
What music?
263
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:27,300
I usually do this by myself.
264
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,000
You are doing it by yourself.
265
00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:32,980
Oh, yeah.
266
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,840
Now, look, you're having such a good time,
don't let me spoil it.
267
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:37,420
Come on, it's fun.
268
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:39,780
Hold on, I've got a page.
269
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,200
Hey, the date's back on.
270
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,220
He got off work, isn't that great?
271
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:46,780
Yeah.
272
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:47,740
That's really great.
273
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,040
Hey, I'll call you later.
274
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,580
Drew, what can I say?
275
00:12:52,180 --> 00:12:53,180
You're a bud.
276
00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:03,530
Next time, rig it.
277
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,220
Hey, Sharon, that's me.
278
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,400
Hey, how you doing?
279
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,520
How'd the date go?
280
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,600
Oh, it's still going on.
281
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:41,160
Listen, I'm really sorry to call you,
but I had a little emergency over here.
282
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,100
I think there's a leak in one of my pipes.
283
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,840
Yeah, oh, well, maybe you better come
over.
284
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,020
Yeah, hey, I'm really sorry.
285
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:51,180
Thanks.
286
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,280
Man, I hate ruining her date.
287
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,700
Oh, yeah, I gotta break a pipe.
288
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:08,740
Call me.
289
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,050
What are you guys doing here?
290
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:18,410
We came back to get all the egg dye stuff.
291
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:21,790
All the eggs broke when I slammed on the
brakes of my car.
292
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:24,550
Excuse me, long stop.
293
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:28,270
But there was a 400-foot Jesus in the
middle of the road.
294
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:30,070
That might be important.
295
00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:34,870
There was a four-inch Jesus, and he was on
the dashboard of my car.
296
00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:40,190
That is no reason to shove those huge
breasts in my face.
297
00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:43,310
I'm sorry.
298
00:14:43,311 --> 00:14:44,311
I'm sorry.
299
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,110
Wait a sec.
300
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:51,570
Cool clothes, candlelight, reggae music.
301
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:53,450
I know what's going on here.
302
00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,410
You're getting under ganjache.
303
00:14:57,670 --> 00:15:00,590
No, I'm not getting on the ganja train,
but I do have company coming over,
304
00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,630
so get the stuff and take it over to
Louis' place.
305
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:06,050
Oh, this company wouldn't be your friend
Sharon, would it?
306
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:08,570
Yeah, it's Sharon, but it's not a date.
307
00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,850
She's coming over to fix a leak in one of
my pipes.
308
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,290
Let me guess.
309
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,130
Is it your love, better?
310
00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:23,930
You're 35 years old.
311
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,430
When are you going to start using the word
penis?
312
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,110
Made you say it.
313
00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:32,810
You're not fooling anybody.
314
00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:34,350
You were expecting a woman.
315
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,330
You and your cheeks sucked in.
316
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:39,111
You know the way you think makes you look
like Marky Mark.
317
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,350
I wasn't expecting a woman.
318
00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:42,750
I was expecting Speedy.
319
00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:43,310
There you are, buddy.
320
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:44,770
Time for your dance lesson, boys.
321
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:46,970
Hi.
322
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:48,830
How come Speedy's all wet?
323
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:50,770
Oh, my God.
324
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:57,140
Oh, my God.
325
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:58,080
How could this have happened?
326
00:15:58,180 --> 00:16:01,060
It was just a little hole in the pipe
leaking into a bucket.
327
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,380
You busted a pipe just to get Sharon to
come over here?
328
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,040
Do you realize how stupid that sounds?
329
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:06,680
I'm sorry.
330
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:08,860
I can't hear you over the sound of my
house sinking.
331
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,640
Oh, hey.
332
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,220
It's my barbells.
333
00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,180
I don't want them to rust.
334
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,520
Boy,
335
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,720
I really got to start working out again.
336
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,180
I can't stop the leak.
337
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:32,880
Where's the shut-off valve?
338
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,500
It's right where my dad said it was.
339
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:35,700
Oh, he's right.
340
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:36,800
I wasn't paying attention.
341
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,200
I'll go find it.
342
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,600
Oh, man.
343
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:47,741
My baseball mitt, my teddy bear, family
photo album, my only picture of Grandma.
344
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:48,860
Hey, Drew, look.
345
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,060
Your dad's old playboys.
346
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,500
No!
347
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,440
Drew, you can't lift those.
348
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:02,900
They're wet.
349
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,540
They must weigh over 300 pounds.
350
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,060
Wow.
351
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,860
He was like that woman that lifted the car
off her child.
352
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,120
Something's got my foot.
353
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,380
You cut my hose, you psycho.
354
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,376
You're almost seven feet tall.
355
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,480
You could have just sat up.
356
00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,180
Holy crap!
357
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,000
I thought you said it was a little leak.
358
00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,600
Oh, hey, Sharon.
359
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:58,400
Glad you could make it.
360
00:17:58,740 --> 00:17:59,240
You look nice.
361
00:17:59,440 --> 00:17:59,900
Can I get you a drink?
362
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:00,860
No.
363
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:01,980
Thanks, Drew.
364
00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,040
You, go rent a sump pump.
365
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,560
You, go help your hysterical girlfriend.
366
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,920
She's already unscrewed about 15 sprinkler
heads.
367
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,960
Hey, after this, let's go wear ourselves
in our wet pants.
368
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,180
You read my mind?
369
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,440
Thought they'd never leave.
370
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:23,640
Hey, uh, on the same old wrestling trophy?
371
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,500
I know it looks like a guy eating a pie,
but he's really wrestling with it.
372
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:29,380
Kind of busy, Drew.
373
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,160
Oh, yeah.
374
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,400
Sure, sure.
375
00:18:39,690 --> 00:18:43,611
That's cute, but I should warn you, there's
a possibility some of that could be sewage.
376
00:18:46,230 --> 00:18:48,390
Looks like somebody's been banging on this
pipe.
377
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,690
What kind of nut would do a thing like
that?
378
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,410
Oh, yeah.
379
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,930
No, con sones.
380
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:11,370
Hey, you don't speak Spanish either.
381
00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:16,070
You can also play Cherish.
382
00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:20,090
Drew, you don't want to just be friends
anymore, do you?
383
00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:21,950
No.
384
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:24,170
And this wasn't an accident, was it?
385
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:25,870
No.
386
00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:29,190
And you haven't taken accordion lessons in
a long time, have you?
387
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,030
I taught myself.
388
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,050
Drew, this is really sweet.
389
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:40,930
But I gotta tell you, you're a
real... No, don't say nice guy.
390
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:41,810
Pain in the ass.
391
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:42,950
Thank you.
392
00:19:44,210 --> 00:19:46,250
Okay, look, at first, I did just want to
be friends.
393
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:50,410
But then something happened, and I wanted
to see if you felt the same way that I
394
00:19:50,411 --> 00:19:51,957
felt, but judging by
that, I wonder if you'll
395
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,671
believe I'm a lesbian
look on your face.
396
00:19:54,870 --> 00:19:55,870
I guess you don't.
397
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:58,730
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
398
00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:02,190
I'm gonna fix all this, and I'm gonna do
it at cost.
399
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,030
Well, we're not gonna date.
400
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,170
You asked for it.
401
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,970
Ladies and gentlemen, Cherish.
402
00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,870
Hey, that's not Cherish.
403
00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:23,270
Hey, a complete lady of Spain.
404
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,330
Hey, Cat.
405
00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:32,610
Mind if I board?
406
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,410
Yeah, but I can only take you as far as a
furnace.
407
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,070
After that, it's international waters.
408
00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:42,970
I heard you song.
409
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:44,630
She didn't go for it, huh?
410
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,170
Yeah, but you know what throws me?
411
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:47,830
She didn't go for me at all.
412
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:49,230
And I was cute as hell.
413
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:51,610
Let me tell you something, Drew.
414
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,910
If we were dating and you did something
like that for me, I would be yours forever.
415
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:55,670
Yeah?
416
00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:56,850
Yeah.
417
00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:58,190
Let me ask you something.
418
00:20:58,330 --> 00:21:01,510
You gotta promise I'll never tell Oswald I
asked you this, but...
419
00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:04,431
If we were alone in this boat in the
middle of the ocean, we were trapped.
420
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:08,110
Would you let me, you know, play Lady of
Spain?
421
00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:09,970
No.
422
00:21:10,490 --> 00:21:11,490
But we could have sex.
423
00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:15,410
Keep it in your pants, O'Brien.
424
00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:33,820
Well, I thought you'd be happy I returned
your hockey mask and knife.
425
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,520
You did that on purpose.
426
00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,180
Okay.
427
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,040
There's no reason to go nibbling my toes.
428
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:42,900
How can I be nibbling your toes if you're
sittin' in the boat?
429
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,590
It's always fun till somebody gets eaten.
29622
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