Original subtitles

- Hello? Yes.

Oh, I see. Well, Darius here tells me

they're having some sort of bee problem up there.

- Initiate first contact, please.

- Initiating first contact.

Detonating begins.

- Officer Lee, please execute command 51770.

- Wait, what's happening?

- Melissa.

Melissa, come.

Melissa, I need you.

Melissa. Come here, Melissa.

Come here. Millie.

Melissa.

- This not cartoons, it's Terror Toons.

This is where it all began.

- Melissa.

Melissa.

Melissa, I need you.

Millie? Is that you, Millie?

- You okay, babe?

- Yeah.

- Another nightmare?

Was it the same one?

What happened this time?

- Something, something is chasing me.

I, I don't know. I can't, I can't really remember.

Every morning.

- Come here, baby.

You know I'm here for you, right?

We'll figure this out.

6:25?

Who does that? - Me.

I gotta go.

- Wanna grab lunch later?

- Not today, babe. Crazy busy. I have a new case.

I'm not sure about it yet. I wanna be ready.

I'm seeing a boy named Randy. His parents requested me.

Sounds like something going on at home.

- I understand. I'll put some coffee on.

- Thanks, sweetie.

Hey, let's get lunch later.

- Why didn't I think of that?

- Hello there. - Hi.

- I'm Melissa Reed with Child Services.

I'm here to evaluate Randy.

- Oh, please come in.

I'm Randy's father, as you might've imagined.

Can I get you something? Coffee or water?

- No, I, I'm good. Thank you.

Will your wife be joining us?

- Uh, yes. She's got a bit behind, but she's on her way.

My apologies.

So I'm sure you've read Randy's file.

The school counselor thinks he's showing signs

of reactive attachment disorder.

Would you excuse me?

I'm on call today and I have to get this.

Margie, the therapist is here.

Get a move on, Margie.

Please, make yourself at home.

Randy's watching the television.

My wife will be down momentarily.

- Hello, Randy.

Okay, then we'll just wait for mom and dad.

- Why didn't I know there was bones in the gun?

I'll get that too before I'm done.

Hear ye, hear ye.

- Randy, does your mom normally let you watch this?

What are they doing with this photo?

Randy, do you know why this photo's here?

Randy?

What the hell is this?

Dr. Smith?

Doctor, Dr. Smith? Mrs. Smith?

Dr. Smith, we need to talk.

Dr. Smith, what is going on?

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Mr. Smith.

Mr. Smith, we need to talk. Mister.

What?

- Ouch.

- What was that?

Who's there? What do you want?

- I just wanna go home. - Just let me go.

I won't say anything. I promise.

- I can't. - Why not?

- Because I'm trapped here too.

- What's that noise?

- Vermin.

My name's Derek. I'm not gonna hurt you.

- Okay.

I'm Melissa.

I don't know where I am or what's going on.

- I understand. Nothing good happens here.

- This makes no sense.

- There are others.

I can take you to them. - There's others trapped here?

- Yes.

It's best if we stick together.

Follow me.

- Hey, look at me.

You're lucky you got me tied to this table.

Once I get outta here, you know I'll kill you.

- Exactly. That's why you're perfect.

- Perfect for what?

- How long have you been in here?

- I don't know.

I've lost track of the days.

All I know is that it was Easter Sunday, 2001,

when I came here.

- Hello?

Can you help us?

- Melissa, be careful.

- Are you lost?

What's your name, little girl?

- Let's find another way, Melissa.

- Ah, Melissa, is it?

Come closer so I can take a good look at you.

- We're just trying to find a way out of this place.

- You're all gonna die in here

and I'm gonna sweep you up off this floor

just like all the others.

- Yes. Yes.

- Hey, look at me.

What are you up to?

- Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

- Smile.

- Oh God.

- Let's go in here.

- He's back.

Where's Chad?

- I don't know for sure.

- What happened?

- We found a lab,

but then the doctor saw us and we had to hide.

We got separated.

- Does she know? - Know what?

- This entire hospital is a prison.

- What about that rat?

- It's been quiet now.

It's probably at the other end of the hospital.

- What rat?

- We don't have time for that right now.

I finally know what the clock does.

When the timer reaches zero,

the bad doctor's gonna do something very bad.

We have to come up with a new plan.

- We've gotta tell the others.

- Listen. Do you hear that?

- Run.

- Watch out.

- Get outta there.

- Yes. Yes. Yes.

- Yes. Yes.

- Do neurons release a chemical

to communicate with other cells

or is the communication based

on the electrical signals of terror?

This is not the end for you.

The fun is just beginning.

- Why do we have to keep running from this thing?

Can't we just stab it in the brain or something?

- I think we need to rip out that thing out of its brain.

- Oh, yes.

- Derek.

Help.

- What the fuck? Kill it.

- You don't have to do this.

Please stop.

Listen to me.

I can help you. I can be your assistant if you like.

- You're hired.

- Yes, doctor.

Yes, doctor.

- It's not working.

- Nothing here works.

We've got to get moving. - No, come on.

- Where? - Someone needs help.

- Not a good idea. - Derek.

- Okay.

- What are you doing in here?

- We found a way out.

- Come with us. We could use your help.

- I'm not going anywhere with you.

- What's the matter, honey? Don't you trust us?

- No.

- Rip it off. Get it.

- I don't like this.

- This could be the way out.

- I've heard stories.

The people that go in there never come back out.

- Well, maybe they don't come back out

because they found the way out.

- But what about me?

I mean, look at me.

- Derek, I will find someone to help you.

But I can't stay here. We have to try.

- No. - It's okay. Okay.

You just stay here

and I'll go

and I'll come right back for you, okay?

- Uh, I'm looking for a way out.

Is there a way out of this place?

There has to be a way out.

- If we knew a way out, why would we be here?

- We've tried.

- The best you can hope for is a quick end.

- No. I don't believe that.

- It's true. - We're all caged rats.

- No, you've gotta be wrong.

- We've been exactly where you are right now.

Holding on to hope.

We're all looking for the same thing, sister.

- I'm not gonna die in here.

What about the lab? Have you even tried?

There might be a way out through there.

- Do you expect us to starve to death in here?

- Why are you doing this?

- We ain't exactly eating pork ribs down here, girly.

Sing a song of six pence. A pocket full of rye.

- Why?

Why?

- Oh yes, 4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie.

- Go!

- We've got to go, Melissa. Go, go, go.

- No! No! No!

- You can do this.

Don't give in. Don't become like everyone else.

- I tried. I always try my best.

- We'll figure it out.

I'm gonna get you out of here.

We've gotta find the lab

and it might be the only way out.

You might be right. - It has to be the exit.

It's the only place everyone's afraid to look.

- Okay. - Okay.

- We've got to go.

The clock is ticking.

- Go, Melissa! Go!

You've got to find a way out for the rest of them.

- Derek?

Derek?

Derek!

- What the hell are you doing here?

- You don't belong in here.

- I need that heart.

- Get the hell out of my morgue.

- Just give me the damn heart.

I'll be back for you later.

- Is that you, Millie?

- Mom?

- Melissa. Come here, Melissa.

- What are you doing here? Is that you?

- Come over here, Melissa.

- Why are you here?

- I told you not to bring that crap in the house!

- No!

- Melissa.

- I won't let it end this way!

You can't have my mother's heart!

- I need that heart!

No! What have you done?

- Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

- You okay, baby?

- Yeah.

- Another nightmare?

Just relax.

- Lovely party.

- Billy, come inside. Dinner's ready.

Yeah.

- Glad to see you leaving, Pandora.

I don't wanna see you back here, you know?

And I don't wanna see you in the tabloids

or hear about you on TMZ.

- I'm astoundingly sane and sober.

- Are you still hearing the voices?

- No.

- Okay. Good enough.

You've been here almost a year now. What are you gonna do?

- I don't know. Find work, I hope.

- Well, at least you have a place to live.

- Yeah, if I wanna live 300 miles away.

- I'm sorry to hear about your aunt.

- Thank you. I hardly knew Elinor.

I was her only relative, so I inherited her house.

- How fortunate.

Good luck, Pandora.

- Congratulations. You give great auditions.

And your callbacks. Wow.

- All three callbacks.

I haven't had to read for a part in 10 years.

- You haven't had a decent job in five.

Chill. Faye Dunaway auditioned for me. Shirley McLean.

What old becomes new.

It's nothing personal.

All this glamour shit, the kids don't wanna see it anymore.

It, it just doesn't sell.

They wanna see skeletons in your closet.

- I had a nervous breakdown.

- Nervous breakdown.

Crash and burn. It's all the same.

- We all have our personal demons.

- And yours still make headlines.

Prior to her hospital stay,

Pandora dropped out of "Echo of Silence"

due to a alleged bout of exhaustion.

You ODed in a sleazy hotel room in Cancun.

What were you doing? Chasing Matadors?

- I'm clean now. Sober and sane, I swear. Give me a chance.

Or did you just ask me here to insult me?

- Any publicity is good publicity.

My money people think you're worth it.

And I think you're worth it too.

- "Demon Bloodbath". A classy comeback.

- And I wrote all that black magic mumbo jumbo myself.

- Really?

The hunt and peck system? - With these magic fingers.

Nervous old filly smelling the track.

Just waiting to get back into the race.

- I'm fussy about who's in the saddle.

- I am doing you a big favor. You better appreciate it.

- I'm going out of town for a week to study it.

I'll be letter perfect.

- You can call me anytime.

Day or especially night.

- My dearest Pandora,

I regret we were never very close.

As you know, your parents, God rest their souls,

considered me the family's black sheep

and kept you away from me.

I respected their wishes until now.

I have always known things.

I'm sure your parents considered

that strange or frightening.

I know a time will come

when you will need my house and its contents.

They are yours.

I always sensed in you a vulnerability

that attracts darkness.

It's not your fault, dear.

But you must fight against it with all your strength

to save your very soul.

Never give up hope. Love, Aunt Elinor.

- You lost, lady?

- Trying to find myself.

Um, I could use some help.

Donner Lane. Am I on the right road?

- Yeah, it's about two miles down the road there.

Just take a left at the cow skull.

The hell you doing out there?

- It's kind of personal. Thanks for your help.

- Strangers don't last too long around these parts.

It's on account of that wicked old witch.

I used to hear stories about her when I was a little boy.

God only knows what's been going on

up in that old haunted house of hers.

- I'll bear that in mind.

- Can I

fill your tank up for you?

- No, I'm fine. Thanks. Gotta go.

- Where, where are you staying?

- The haunted house. She was my aunt. Bye.

- Shit. Never get any pussy.

- Thank you, Elinor.

Chesterfield. Long time, no see.

- Pretty, isn't it?

If you like it, I'll give it to you.

- Pandora, put that down.

- Oh, Marsha. It's perfect for the child.

- She's my child. Not yours.

Pandora, put that down.

We're leaving. We're leaving. We're leaving.

We're leaving. We're leaving. We're leaving.

- Hi, I'm Justin. I brought you some groceries.

Figure you need him.

- How did you know I was here?

- Well, word gets around.

I used to deliver to Miss Elinor once a week.

You gonna turn me into a cat with that?

- It's something my aunt left me.

- Your aunt, she was great. I miss her.

Um? - Oh yeah, the kitchen's.

- Straight back through the dining room.

I know.

Been delivering groceries here since I was 13.

- So you don't believe the local tales?

- Oh, it's just Humbert. He's the village idiot.

Your aunt was always good to me.

- I haven't seen her since I was six and she didn't know me.

- Sure she did. We used to watch your movies together.

She was always cutting out newspaper articles.

I saw her cry once when she read about you.

She cared. So are you a witch too?

- I beg your pardon.

- She told my fortune once when I was a kid.

Said I'd be a big success someday.

- And you're still delivering groceries.

- Yeah, but now I own the store.

She used to do things. She called them protective spells.

- Some protection. Three miserable divorces.

A DUI where I nearly killed somebody.

In and out of rehab like a revolving door.

- But you're still alive.

- Yes, that's quite an accomplishment

when you think about it.

- Well, my number's on the fridge if you need anything.

Enjoy your stay.

- Paul grabs her in a tight embrace.

Oh, Denise, I can't let you do it. I love you.

Let go of me, you fool. God, this is such crap.

Denise races to the altar

and raises her arms in supplication.

Oh, great fearsome demon Astereth, I summon you now.

Agra albalath numsaureth. Hear me and come forth.

Hello, Justin. It's Pandora again.

I'm sorry to bother you,

but it seems I've got a critter problem here.

I wonder if you have any mouse mousetraps.

Great. I'll be here. Thanks so much.

- Okay. You're loaded for bear or mice anyway.

Breaks their necks fast.

- Thank you. I owe you. - How about an autograph?

- You're kidding. - For the mousetraps.

There's a dozen of them. I'll add them to your tab.

So how's the script?

- Dreadful, trite. But it's work.

- You haven't made a movie in a while.

- I went through a bad time. - How come?

- I got the shit kicked outta me a few times by life, men.

I got used to crutches.

- I can resist everything but temptation.

- Oscar Wilde. I'm impressed.

Well, there's nothing like a year in rehab

to teach you resistance.

- Well, good for you.

- Um, I'm having trouble with this scene.

Read Paul for me, will you?

- Sure. Oh, Denise, I can't let you do it. I love you.

- Let go of me, jerk. Is that right?

- It says you fool. But that's close.

- It has to be letter perfect. Let go of me, you fool.

Oh, great fearsome demon Astereth, I call upon you now.

- Not call upon. Summon.

- I summon you now.

Ah, agra albalath numsaureth.

Hear me and come forth.

- Storm.

Just storm clouds.

- You should get home while you can.

- I can stay if you'd like.

- No, go before all hell breaks loose.

Paul says, "I think we should go back and wait for help."

Denise, "You coward. I wanna see what's in there."

Okay, I got that down.

Blah, blah, blah.

Oh, this again.

All right, third time's the charm.

Oh, great fearsome demon Astereth.

I summon you now.

Agra albalath numsaureth. Hear me and come forth.

Good. I got it. A day well spent.

Aha. Gotcha.

- Drink me.

- Like hell.

- Eat me.

- Eat me. - Eat me.

- Eat me. - Eat me.

- Bite me.

Blow me.

- Why resist? You know you want it.

- Oh, bloody hell.

Hi, doc. It's me, Pandora.

- Hi, Pandora. How you doing?

- Not so good.

I'm having nightmares about drinking and drugs.

- Relax, that's very common

for the early stages of sobriety.

You haven't?

- Oh, no, I'm still clean.

But this whole thing is turning into a nightmare.

Maybe the house is haunted

or I'm creeped out by this horror script.

Or maybe I'm losing my mind again.

- Just easy. You're not losing your mind.

- Well, that narrows the choices a little.

- Does the house make you feel uncomfortable?

- No, it's cozy. I feel safe.

But I've got rats infesting the walls

and somebody trashed my garden.

- That's terrible. I mean, who would do that?

- I have no idea. The roses are all dead.

And there's this black stuff like oil.

- You're emotionally vulnerable right now. That's all.

Just what is the,

maybe the script isn't the right thing for you.

What's it about?

- Oil. - It's about oil?

- Oh, no. I gotta go. I'm fine. Thanks, doc.

- Hey, uh, you know how to fix a alternator?

- Uh, no.

- Neither do I.

Mm.

- Drink me.

- Um, do you sell beer here?

- Uh, no. You gotta go down the street to Justin's for that.

Oh, you, you thirsty?

- No. - Oh, come on.

You look thirsty.

- I thought better of it.

- I can get Justin to bring a whole case down here.

- Uh, no. No, thank you.

- It's okay. Okay. Okay. Calm down.

I just heard that you used to be quite the party girl.

- Trying to mend my wicked ways.

Speaking of which, have you been up to my house lately?

Maybe with some motor oil?

- I don't do lube jobs and I certainly don't do house calls.

And I most definitely would not go

up to that old hell house of yours.

- There is nothing wrong with the house.

What's wrong with you people around here, killing my roses?

- Aphids?

- Just stay away from me and my house.

- I checked the traps. No dead mice.

- I heard them snap. All of them. 30, 40.

- There were only a dozen. All empty.

- And this, what do you make of this?

It looks like motor oil.

- Not oil. It smells like sulfur. Here.

- Oh, stop. Why do people do that?

It was just yesterday everything was fine.

I was sitting in the garden, reading my script,

saying the incantation and then I went back inside.

- Relax. Here.

This always helps.

Why resist? You know you want it.

- Hello? - Hey, Pandora, baby.

Guess where I'm calling you from.

Ancient Babylon.

- Richmond, what are you saying?

- The set. It's spectacular.

You're gonna fit right in.

Oh my God.

And with that priestess gown, with that cleavage.

Oh my God, you'll be hot, hot, hot.

Got your lines down yet? - Almost.

Uh, can I change some of the dialogue? It's trite.

And that demon stuff is giving me nightmares.

- It is perfect the way it is written.

It's straight out of that demon incantation book.

- What book? - I don't know. I Googled it.

But it is real.

- A real incantation. Are you crazy?

- Sure. It lends authenticity.

- Do you realize what you're doing to me?

The rats, the roses, the oil.

- Stop it. You're making me crazy.

- I think I've conjured a real demon.

- Bring him along. We'll save on special effects.

- No. How do I get rid of it?

- I don't know. Talk to a, a spooky stuff person.

I mean, you know anyone?

- Yeah, but she's dead.

- Well, I can't help you there.

- Why are you doing this to me?

- Because you summoned me.

Thrice.

- The script. I knew it.

- But I would've come anyway.

- Lover, your breath would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.

- I thought I told you I didn't wanna see you again.

Now you'll have to stay.

- I'm not crazy and neither are you.

Remember, never give up hope.

- Your room is waiting.

- I'll get out of here.

- There's only one way out.

- Why resist? You know you want it.

- No. I don't wanna die.

- Oh, great fearsome demon Astereth. I summon you now.

Agra albalath numsaureth. Hear me and come forth.

You've never had any power over me.

Only the power that I gave you.

- What will you do? Destroy me?

- No. Absorb you.

- So how are you? Get enough rest?

Still crazy? - I worked things out.

Made peace with my personal demons.

- I am so glad to hear that.

- I've given this a lot of thought and we need a rewrite.

- It's a piece of shit.

Hey, I am doing some work for SkineMax

and I could throw you a couple days of work

if you don't mind doing some soft core.

- First, the incantation is out.

Second, my character needs to be expanded.

- Look, I've gotta level with you.

I sold the rights to "Demon Bloodbath".

I don't know if they'll want you.

It's some producer. Um.

- Astereth Productions. - Right.

- Yes, that's me.

I sold my aunt's house. Scared up a buyer right away.

- Oh, you're in charge?

Well, you know, if you need a good producer,

I am your girl.

- No, you're not my girl.

You're my lunch.

- Hey, no! Oh!

Oh no.

Pandora! Let's do lunch! Oh!

- Hey, guys, where are you?

Is that you?

Come on, guys. Quit messing around.

I'm not in the least bit scared.

So come on out.

Don't tickle me!

Hey, come on, guys. You bunch of jerks.

Give them back to me. It's cold out here.

- We can tell.

- Stop looking at my penis, Goober.

And besides, what the hell are we doing out here?

You're supposed to bring us girls.

- I got a surprise for you guys, all right?

And it's gonna make you all real happy.

- Unless you have a naked chick in this bag.

- Maybe I do have a naked chick in this bag.

- What the hell?

- What the hell is that?

- This is your only chance at real redemption.

- Hi, guys. What's up?

What are we doing tonight?

- These guys thought it'd be a great idea

to rid themselves of their virginity.

And in turn, be the big man on campus for once

instead of being kicked around, put down, and picked on.

- And, and don't forget about spit on.

- But we're not really gonna lose our virginity

by humping a damn doll, are we?

- Hold on. This is not a damn doll.

This is a beautiful woman and you will treat her as such.

- Thank you for the introduction. So who's going first?

- Dweeber's going first. He needs it more than anybody.

- What do they call you? Incredible Hunk?

- Oh. Oh.

Oh my God.

Oh.

Oh.

I had no idea that was gonna happen.

You know, you guys don't really have to tease me anymore.

Well, at least I don't have to lie

about having sex with a blowup doll.

Yeah, I don't, I don't like to lie.

And I'm not any good at it anyway.

It's not in my nature.

I'm a good boy, God damn it.

- Hello there.

- This trick or treat?

- Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Catch a loser by his toe.

If he scores, I'll let him go.

Eeny, meeny,

miny, moe.

Yeah, man. You're it. Come on, let's go.

Chug that beer.

- I'm still not drunk enough, guys.

- Well, you're gonna have to go. So come on, Party Boy.

Hey, Princess, I appreciate you helping me

get these guys out here.

It's just what they needed.

- I wanna make sure everybody has a great time.

- Amen. - Yeah.

- Tough times, huh?

- Dude, now what the hell are you doing?

- I'm trying to make the blood rush

from my feet to my penis, okay?

Maybe it's 'cause these three bozos

are standing here looking at me.

- Yeah, I don't need to watch anyways.

I'm going to take a leak.

- Boo.

- Ooh.

Mm.

- Who are you?

- Oh, little old me? My name is Mia.

- I'll be your sloppy seconds any day.

- What's the matter?

Princess unable to excite you enough?

- No. Princess, it's not her.

I just, I'm a little drunk

and this is all new to me.

- Let me see.

What can I do to help you with that?

Oh, I know.

- Oh.

Don't you think we should get the others?

- Oh, no. You're my favorite.

I want you all to myself.

- Really?

Good Lord.

Oh God.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. No!

- Here, you should finish this.

It's the last one.

Just take it.

- I can't have it, man. Not even one sip.

- You got to. Come on.

Are you sure?

Not even just a little sip?

I know you can do this.

Here.

Drink this and I'll give you the rest of the bottle.

Here.

I knew you could do it.

- I feel like I drank all your beer, man.

- And I feel like I drank all your beer again.

- Oh. Oh yeah. Daddy.

Oh, you're so, so.

Oh, I love it. Come on.

Hey, guys, cut it out.

Oh. Oh.

- Hello? Where are you guys at?

Where are you hiding?

Come out. Come out.

- What's wrong? - They're dead.

They're all dead.

- What are you talking about? - The rest of the guys.

They're all dead. Look, I'm serious. It's blood.

- How could it be? I just found Dorkstar.

I just left him face down in his own piss.

- We have to get him. We have to get outta here right now.

- All right.

- Okay, guys, you know, I'm gonna need

some help getting up here.

I'm so damn toasty.

Hey.

Am I still virgin? Hmm?

Wait a minute. Who are you?

Don't take one more step.

One, two, three.

- I suggest you run, pretty lady.

- Yeah, we'll see about that.

- And welcome to "Prancing for Dollars",

where people prance for cash.

And tonight's contestants will compete

for one ba-ba-ba-ba-billion dollars.

That's right.

Our first two contestants are Ricky and Lorenza.

Let's get them up here on stage. Come on, everybody.

And now we go to the score.

Judges.

- Richie, you need to reevaluate why you're here tonight

and understand the stakes are high.

- I'm gonna be really nice about this.

Do you really think that your performance

was worth a billion dollars?

- Bitch, get out.

- Our next contestants

are Erica and Randy.

Come on up. Woo! Let's encourage them. Come on, everybody.

- And now we go to the score.

- Randy.

- Erica.

- We'll take it.

- Everybody head for the exits.

- Oh, wait a minute.

♪ Night sweats and looking silhouettes ♪

♪ Till the demons wanna take you home ♪

♪ You can't tell if it's your world shaking ♪

♪ Or the tremor in your bones ♪

♪ You've come undone ♪

♪ Will they make you run ♪

♪ Or put you back to sleep ♪

♪ Black in the night until it tortures your eyes ♪

♪ This is not what it seems ♪

♪ No way out ♪

♪ Blood in the sky, distant lullabies ♪

♪ This place, it gives me the creeps ♪

♪ They're watching ♪

♪ No escape from your fate ♪

♪ Or the carnage in your dreams ♪

♪ Mental destruction ♪

♪ Blood in the night ♪

♪ Till it tortures your eyes ♪

♪ This is not what it seems ♪

♪ No way out ♪

♪ Little assassins in your head ♪

♪ Will free you from the screams ♪

♪ Locked out of your own sanity ♪

♪ Was normal, just a daydream ♪

♪ You've come undone ♪

♪ Will they make you run ♪

♪ Or terrorize your sight ♪

♪ Black in the night until it tortures your eyes ♪

♪ This is not what it seems ♪

♪ No way out ♪

♪ Blood in the sky, distant lullabies ♪

♪ This place, it gives me the creeps ♪

♪ They're watching ♪