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♪ dramatic music playing ♪
2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,512
♪ theme playing ♪
3
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:40,999
♪
4
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,796
- I'm surprised you didn't
call in sick this morning, Fry.
5
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,756
Isn't it a special day?
6
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,299
- No, just my birthday.
7
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:53,095
All I want is to enjoy
the quiet desolation of space
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for a few peaceful hours.
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00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,058
ALL: Surprise!
[party favor blowing]
10
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,311
- Uh, 'kay.
This really wasn't--
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00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,564
- Happys birthdays!
- Happy whatchacallit!
12
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,190
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
13
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,734
[dribbling]
- Happy B-day, Fry.
14
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,070
- Jeez. How many people did you invite?
15
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- Only a few. Less than 40.
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MORE GUESTS:
Surprise!
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[floor squeaks]
- Surprise, sailor.
18
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- [sighs] Thanks, everyone.
19
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- What's the matter, Fry?
20
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,457
You look sick and so darn blue.
21
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- Chicken cordon bleu!? B'kaw!
22
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- I don't wanna talk about it. [sniffles]
23
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[sighs, sniffles]
24
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[megaphone feedback]
- Attention, party people.
25
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,429
We got a code 99.
Birthday boy unresponsive.
26
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- We need backup.
27
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So, I'ma turn the music back up.
[clicking, whirring]
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♪ disco music playing ♪
29
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[cheering]
30
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- Hey! Please, just--
31
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[cheering]
32
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[ship creaking, crashes]
[alarm blaring]
33
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- Emergency!
All butts to battle cushions!
34
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[engines straining]
35
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We're being pulled off-course
36
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by some huge gravitational force!
37
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,997
A black hole!
38
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
39
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,958
- Scruffy begs to differ.
40
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,919
I see it as more of a gray-brown,
41
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:09,087
or perhaps toasted umber.
42
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- Impact in three!
43
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I mean, one!
44
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,595
[all screaming]
45
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[ship creaks]
[all groaning]
46
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- Is everybody okay? 'Cause I'm not.
47
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,102
[wind blowing]
48
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- Coming out!
[clanging]
49
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Ow! [spitting]
50
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[fizzling, whirring]
51
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♪ eerie music playing ♪
52
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- We heard a girlish scream.
Are you okay?
53
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,415
- Did anyone else see that?
54
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,417
- No. I was busy making a tourniquet
55
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,253
out of my tiny, tiny shirt.
56
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:53,131
- What kind of hellhole has
Leela brought us to this time?
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- A barren wasteland devoid of life.
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Like Fire Island after Labor Day.
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There's literally nothing here.
60
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Except that tasteless suburban teardown.
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♪
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- [gasps] That's the tasteless
suburban teardown I grew up in!
63
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[door opens, creaks]
64
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Whoa, weird.
65
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,901
I was just repressing a memory of this.
66
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,446
It's set up exactly like
my 8th birthday party.
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The theme was Game Night Afternoon.
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♪ mystical music playing ♪
69
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- What's wrong, son?
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00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,208
Worried about our boys in Grenada?
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- No. It's just I-I'm not
very good at games, Dad.
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00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,797
I don't wanna lose on my birthday.
73
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- Oh, don't worry.
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Not everything in life is about winning.
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But most things are.
Almost everything.
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[knocking]
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FRIENDS:
Whoa! Happy birthday!
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00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,768
- Here's Josh Gedgie!
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High five, best bud!
80
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- Oh! So close!
81
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[both laughing]
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♪
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I can't believe it.
Everything is exactly how it was,
84
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,490
right down to the two-liter bottle
of Dr. Peeper.
85
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,576
- What kind of weirdos
would go to the trouble
86
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,038
of recreating a low-budget
store brand birthday party?
87
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,415
- It was we!
[whirring]
88
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,917
[all gasp]
89
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,169
- He meant us. It was us!
90
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,254
- I don't know.
I thought "we" sounded better.
91
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,881
- Look, never mind the grammar.
92
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,467
How did you big-heads
get my old house here?
93
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,761
- I'ds likes to hears about the grammars.
94
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,972
- Recreating Fry's house
was mere child's play,
95
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thanks to the power of our machine.
Behold!
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
97
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It scours the minds of visitors
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for powerful memories of conflict.
99
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,568
- And recreates those conflicts
100
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,362
in every detail!
101
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,280
- Today, we shall reenact
102
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,242
Philip J. Fry's 8th birthday party,
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including all the thrilling
children's games he played!
104
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,999
- I do enjoy Twister.
105
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,169
- No Twister! You wouldn't believe
what the mean kids used to twist.
106
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,797
- Then, we shall begin with the classic
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yet copyright-free game
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Barrel of Primates!
109
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,805
♪ mystical music playing ♪
110
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,099
- Who's ready to link monkey parts?
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00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,267
KIDS:
I am! Me!
112
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,186
- They call me Monkey Breath for a reason.
113
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,855
- Longest chain wins.
114
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Players, start your chains!
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[plastic clattering]
116
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♪ tense music playing ♪
117
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,908
- You shall play as two traditional teams
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of 17!
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- Only instead of boring plastic pieces,
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you shall be the primates.
121
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
122
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Kindly enter the barrels when ready.
[beep]
123
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[hissing, whirring]
[yelling]
124
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,967
- I'm ready now. [snorts]
125
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:48,182
- Let the game begin!
126
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,933
- Uh, okay.
127
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,351
We should probably obey the heads.
128
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,480
- [giggling] This is kind of fun.
129
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,984
- Dang. You must work out a lot.
130
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:01,987
- I'm a leg. Every day is leg day.
131
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,114
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
132
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:08,076
[pained groaning, murmuring]
133
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,830
- I don't remember this being
so hard when I was 8. Oh...
134
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,833
[groaning continues]
135
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,796
- Did we mention there's a twist?
136
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,966
- I knew you were twist guys!
[beep, hiss]
137
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
138
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,638
- Oh, great. A pool of acid?
139
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:30,057
- No. We're not monsters!
140
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,685
- It's actually a highly alkaline liquid.
141
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,895
That's the twist!
142
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,481
It'll dissolve you twice as fast as acid!
143
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,650
- But I have a fear of dissolving!
144
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,276
How do we get down from here?
145
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,737
- By falling, of course.
146
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,947
[all gasp]
147
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,740
For in another twist,
148
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,576
these party games shall be...
149
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,119
to the death!
150
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,496
♪ dramatic sting ♪
151
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,165
MRS. WONG: Although
we kinda guessed that from the bones.
152
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,336
♪ light music playing ♪
153
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,713
- Ooh, and it's a real barn-burner!
154
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,423
Phil's the sentimental favorite,
155
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,843
but the smart money's on four-eyes.
156
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:08,595
- The name's Gedgie,
and it may look close,
157
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,806
but I've got the Gedge.
158
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,518
[kids gasp]
- Fry's still in it!
159
00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:15,519
Ah-choo!
160
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,604
- Look at him hook!
161
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,691
- Impressive,
but my superior dexterity will--
162
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,442
[stammering] Aah!
163
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,485
[crash]
164
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,655
- I... w-won at something?
165
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:29,533
I hope my grandma's
proud of me down in Hell.
166
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,743
- [sighs] Nice job, Phil,
167
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:34,371
but I'll Gedge you next time. [laughs]
168
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,373
- [giggling] That never gets old.
169
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,585
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
170
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:42,588
[all groaning, wailing]
171
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:47,009
- I say, I say,
I don't know how much longer
172
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,720
these old hollow bird bones can hold out.
173
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,847
- Why did you monsters dream this up?
174
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,432
And are the streaming rights available?
175
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:56,101
- Our motivations are three.
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00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,936
Mine is to gain knowledge
177
00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,147
by making people crash on our planet
178
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,442
and subjecting them
to bizarre experiments!
179
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:06,778
- As for me, I don't have any motivations.
180
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,615
- And I have two motivations!
181
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:13,410
Gambling, and making these cool masks.
182
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:16,622
Let the gambling begin!
183
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,833
- Fifty quids on the red team.
184
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,294
- A hundred quids on blue!
185
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,171
- [gasps] Listen up, people!
186
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,925
If we're going to survive,
we all need to work together!
187
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,427
- Or we can shake the other team's bar
188
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,554
and make those losers fall first!
189
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,057
- I vote for the shaking thing.
190
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,559
[blue team groaning]
[Bender laughing]
191
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,978
[wailing, yelling]
192
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:42,856
- Cut it out, Bender!
Cheating is against the rules!
193
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,983
- There are no rules.
194
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,443
Oh wait. Here are the rules.
195
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,657
It just says, "Fun for ages 3 to 99."
196
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,951
- No wonder I'm not enjoying it!
197
00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:56,245
- Now, hold on a minute.
198
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:58,121
According to the laws of calculus,
199
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,874
we might just be able to link chains
200
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,710
to form a stable structure
known as a catenary.
201
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:04,920
[crack]
[yelps]
202
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,840
Damn! My dribbling
and differentiating arm!
203
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,591
[blue team screaming]
204
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,593
[splashing]
205
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,596
- Ah!
206
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,850
- Is okay. Is only water.
Just as I foresaw.
207
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,685
[sizzling]
Oh. Oh, wait.
208
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,186
[yelping]
209
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:24,857
♪ Squid Game -esque vocalizing ♪
210
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,652
[all gasping, murmuring]
211
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,863
[Amy crying]
212
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:33,782
- That game was not fun!
213
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,034
- Congratulations to the red team!
214
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:39,037
I'm sure you'll all want to celebrate
with some birthday cake.
215
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,122
[Leela crying]
216
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,125
- My parents and my grandmother
a-are dead!
217
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,585
[sobbing]
218
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,254
- I'm so sorry for your loss, Leela.
219
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,714
Can I have their cake?
220
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,716
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
221
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,847
- Where'd you get the snazzy candles?
222
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,682
- Our machine made them!
223
00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,641
- Oh, right, right.
224
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:05,063
GAMESTER 1:
The next game is a simple one.
225
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,567
Fry must blow out all the candles
226
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:10,986
in a single breath.
227
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:12,154
- I can do that.
228
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,406
- But, there's a twist.
229
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:17,326
- I like a good twist.
That's what keeps the audience watching.
230
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:21,038
- For each candle Fry doesn't blow out,
231
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:25,000
the corresponding player will die!
232
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,668
- W-Wait, what, what, what?
233
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:30,214
- Don't worry, guys.
I'm actually, like, really good at this.
234
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:31,798
[deep inhale]
235
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,133
♪ mystical music playing ♪
236
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,134
[deep inhale continues]
237
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,803
- [scoffs] That's a lot of candles,
old man.
238
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,971
You'll never do it.
239
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,474
[inhales, blows]
240
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,893
♪
241
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,144
[blowing]
242
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,229
♪ dramatic sting ♪
243
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,232
[grunting]
244
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,069
[panting]
[kids cheer]
245
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,445
- Good going, brother!
246
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,155
[blowing]
247
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,033
- Come on, gas bag! Blow your face off!
248
00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,953
- No fair! I got about 12 wicks!
249
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,502
- Uh... look!
250
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,379
He's still blowing somehow!
251
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:11,839
It's going out!
[snip]
252
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,048
[fire roaring]
[Zoidberg whooping]
253
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,424
[all gasp]
254
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,467
♪
255
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:19,179
My only regret is not getting any cake!
256
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,686
♪ Pop Goes the Weasel playing ♪
257
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,521
[cranking]
258
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,191
[creaking]
259
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,527
♪ mystical music playing ♪
260
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,736
- And the winner
261
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:38,115
of the Tri-State Musical Chairs
Championship
262
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,868
is Philip J. Fry!
263
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,370
Yay!
264
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,874
♪ Pop Goes the Weasel continues ♪
265
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,626
- [groans] It's been six hours.
266
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,045
Can't you at least play
something a little catchier?
267
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,465
- No. We have one song,
and we really like it.
268
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:58,468
[creaking]
269
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,845
♪ song stops ♪
270
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,847
- Oh, breadcrumbs.
271
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:04,308
- Nobody panic! Two to a seat!
272
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,768
- You heard her! Start panicking! Ah!
273
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,812
[all yelling]
274
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,480
- Oh! Oh! [grunts]
275
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,984
[muttering]
276
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,235
[squishing]
277
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,487
- Ow! Mom!
278
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,406
♪ Squid Game -esque vocalizing ♪
279
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,158
- Ah! B'kaw!
280
00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:25,120
[nervous murmuring]
281
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,916
[weasel snarling]
282
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,083
[roars]
283
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,086
[screaming]
284
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,381
[slurps]
285
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,883
[belches]
286
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,593
[growls]
287
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:43,263
[whimpering, shivering]
288
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,390
- Who likes piñatas?
289
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,477
♪ mystical music playing ♪
290
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,731
[groaning, yelps]
[body thuds]
291
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,733
- Good try, Bartholomew.
292
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,235
- No, it wasn't.
293
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:03,283
[grunting]
294
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,661
- [scoffs] That's impossible.
295
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,996
It'd take all three Hulks to break that.
296
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,791
Incredible, She, and Hogan.
297
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,043
[grunting]
298
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,044
♪
299
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:17,297
- That's the first time
I ever swung a bat and hit something!
300
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,966
♪ tense music playing ♪
301
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,884
[beep]
[whirring]
302
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,262
GAMESTER 2:
Since no one likes candy,
303
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:26,557
we have filled our piñata with quids!
304
00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:27,808
- I like candy.
305
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:28,851
[groans]
306
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:32,104
- [wails] My husband is dead!
307
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,231
I can't go on!
308
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,732
- Okay.
[beep]
309
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,651
[bones crunch]
[grunts]
310
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,236
- That wasn't candy.
311
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:41,238
- I didn't realize you were still alive.
312
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:43,115
[twang]
313
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:44,867
- Less yakking, more whacking!
314
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,870
[sticks clacking]
[all grunting]
315
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,163
PROFESSOR: Oh! Ow...
[thuds]
316
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,082
- Guys, I'm good at this.
317
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,585
The secret is backswing...
- Ouch!
318
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,170
- ...and follow-through.
319
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,630
[squishing]
320
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:00,591
Whoop. Sorry.
321
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,968
♪ triumphant music playing ♪
322
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:05,554
- I'm rich! Finally, I can give up limbo
323
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:08,056
and start a professional sex league.
324
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,766
[thud]
[elephant trumpets]
325
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,768
[grunts] Ah, hey, mon!
326
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:15,189
- Oh no! My side piece!
327
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:16,398
[elephant trumpets]
328
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:17,399
♪
329
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:20,527
- And now for the penultimate game!
330
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,572
- And then it will be over?
Th-This is the last game?
331
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:26,575
- Penultimate means next to last.
332
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,869
You lose the vocabulary game!
[beep]
333
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,704
♪
334
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,747
[Kif grunts]
335
00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:34,249
- Kiffy! No!
336
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,751
[sobbing]
337
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,797
- This fiendish game
will be a treasure hunt
338
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,800
for these orbs of horsehide!
339
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,386
- Blernsballs?
- No, baseballs.
340
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,763
My mom had balls signed
341
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:50,849
by her favorite members of the 1962 Mets.
342
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,393
She hid them all over the house,
and we had to find them.
343
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,978
- There are seven of you,
344
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:58,565
but only four hidden baseballs!
345
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:02,194
That's all we had.
And the machine can't make baseballs.
346
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:04,238
It's not magic, for God's sake.
347
00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:07,032
- Let the hunt begin!
348
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,868
♪ mystical music playing ♪
349
00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:14,706
- [gasps] I found a baseball
in the moldy tangerines!
350
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,542
Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
351
00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,377
- One ball left, kids!
352
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:19,962
And it's the grand prize,
353
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,464
signed by Choo-Choo Coleman himself.
354
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,467
- It's as good as Gedgie's.
355
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,470
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
356
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,852
[cabinet creaks]
357
00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:37,354
Don't bother.
I already checked the fridge.
358
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,064
- Yeah, but things get lost in there.
359
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,859
Just last night,
we had bicentennial meatloaf.
360
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,736
Red, white, and green.
[jars rattle]
361
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,406
♪
362
00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:48,615
A-ha!
363
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,451
- Way to go, Phil!
- That's my boy!
364
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,746
- B-B-But, I searched
every inch of that fridge.
365
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,164
Fry must be cheating!
366
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:59,168
- That would explain why
he's winning everything.
367
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:01,837
- I am not a cheater! I'm not!
368
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:04,923
♪ melancholy music playing ♪
369
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:07,426
[cabinets creak]
[Bender whirring]
370
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:09,178
♪ tense music playing ♪
371
00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:12,139
- Come on, Fry. This was your house.
372
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:15,392
Please tell me where the baseballs are.
373
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,477
- You want me to cheat?
374
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,937
I can't do that, Leela.
375
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:22,232
I am not a cheater. I'm not.
376
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:25,152
- Ooh, lookie-see what
I found in the crawlspace!
377
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,863
Signed by both Bob Millers.
378
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,823
- [gasps] There's only one left!
379
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,994
Please, Fry!
380
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:37,664
I know you don't wanna cheat,
but it's me. Leela!
381
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,584
The woman you occasionally say you love.
382
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,211
- I always love you, Leela,
383
00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:44,671
but there are two things I just can't do.
384
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,257
Almost anything, and cheat.
385
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,510
♪ melancholy music playing ♪
386
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:50,761
- You're right.
387
00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:53,680
You're sticking to
your principles. [sniffles]
388
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,225
I'm proud of you.
389
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:59,228
[wailing, sobbing]
390
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,982
- I've never cheated in my life. Never.
391
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:06,151
But I'll do it. This once.
392
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,614
- Well, he cheated.
You win that bet.
393
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533
- Time to celebrate with a new mask!
394
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:15,744
[Fry sniffles]
395
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,288
- Please remember me as a guy who never,
396
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,291
ever cheated. Until now.
397
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:26,964
- As the last orb has been found,
the hunt is over.
398
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:28,632
Winners, step forward.
399
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,970
You're not the winners.
Who said you were the winners?
400
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,264
- I forgot to mention the winners
are the ones
401
00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:37,850
who don't find the baseballs!
402
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,393
That's on me, guys.
[beep]
403
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:44,857
[fizzling]
[wailing, sobbing]
404
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:48,402
- Ooh. That was some impressive
reverse cheating, Fry.
405
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:51,280
- For the last time, I'm not a cheater.
406
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,366
Just shut up, Gedgie.
I-I mean, Bendy.
407
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:58,328
- [gasps] How dare you
mangle my blessed name!
408
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,914
- Whoa, whoa! Save it for the finale.
409
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:04,334
A game which will be played...
to the death!
410
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,669
♪ dramatic sting ♪
411
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,671
- They were all to the death!
412
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:10,507
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
413
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,634
- The final game shall be a test
414
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,720
of raw physical prowess!
415
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,555
Prepare yourselves
416
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:20,392
for a brutal, no-holds-barred match of...
[beep]
417
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,479
Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
418
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:27,357
- Aw, he's a cute little whatchacallit.
419
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,277
[roaring, snarling]
420
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,987
Donkey.
[growls]
421
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:34,656
- The beast is clad in armor,
422
00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:38,493
save for this tiny area on its rear.
423
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,704
- It is the donkey's Achilles butt.
424
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,582
All its vital organs are clustered there.
425
00:18:43,582 --> 00:18:45,209
- Just like me!
[clanging]
426
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,878
GAMESTER 1:
Simply pin the tail on the butt
427
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:51,256
to slay the donkey and claim victory.
428
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,966
- I'm shivering with excitement
429
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,885
because this game involves...
430
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,887
masks!
[beep]
431
00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:03,185
♪ mystical music playing ♪
432
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:06,230
- Phil, Semitic kid,
it's down to you two.
433
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,981
- Yes!
- Go, Gedgie!
434
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,441
- Woo-hoo!
435
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,361
- Yes! Everything's coming up Gedgie.
436
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:14,613
Beat that, REO Cheatwagon.
437
00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:16,782
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
438
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:19,284
- [whispers]
How's this for cheating?
439
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,578
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
440
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:24,039
[kids yelling]
441
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:27,125
[stab]
- Oh, well. I guess you can't win 'em...
442
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,669
♪ dramatic sting ♪
443
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,213
...all?
- Look at my boy!
444
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:34,341
You stabbed that donkey
like a professional donkey stabber!
445
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,469
- I'm so proud of you.
446
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:40,389
We'll go get your presents,
so you can open them.
447
00:19:40,389 --> 00:19:42,808
- Aw!
- This party sucks!
448
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,935
- Told you Fry was a cheater.
449
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:46,562
- Happy birthday, Fry.
450
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:49,273
I hope you had fun cheating
'cause nobody else did!
451
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:51,692
♪ melancholy music playing ♪
452
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,193
[door creaks, slams]
453
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,028
[crying]
454
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,030
- But I didn't cheat!
455
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:03,662
- I lost a best friend a long time ago
'cause he thought I was cheating,
456
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,956
and I'm not gonna let it happen again.
457
00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:08,250
- I don't wanna lose you either, Fry.
458
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,253
- So I'm gonna prove I'm not cheating.
459
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,672
Gouge out my eyes!
- Good idea!
460
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:16,884
- Fry's suggestion is beyond horrific.
461
00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:20,512
Therefore, we shall do it!
- But, to make the game fair,
462
00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:23,265
we shall remove the eyes
of all the players!
463
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,642
- Wait, hold on. What, what?
- Fear not.
464
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:29,229
Our machine can remove eyes painlessly.
465
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,731
[click, squishing]
466
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:32,065
[Fry screaming]
467
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,193
Oops! Sorry. I stepped on your foot.
468
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:36,570
- It's okay. I'm fine.
[click, whirring]
469
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,740
- Let the animal abuse begin!
470
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:42,576
[roaring, snarling]
471
00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:45,162
- Alright, you monster whosit.
472
00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:48,999
I'm gonna stick this doohickey
where the dealy don't whatsit.
473
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:51,293
[snarls, gulps]
474
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,212
[roaring]
475
00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:55,881
- I'm sorry I called you a cheater, buddy.
476
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:57,883
- [sniffles] Thanks, Bender.
477
00:20:57,883 --> 00:21:00,260
What do you say we team up
and go out fighting?
478
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,930
- I say, aw yeah, baby!
479
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,431
Friends to the end!
480
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:08,018
[both yelling]
481
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:09,061
[Bender yelps]
482
00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:11,230
My vital ass organs!
483
00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:13,857
You are a cheater!
484
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,943
[grunting, gagging]
485
00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:16,944
♪
486
00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:18,779
- Bender? Bender?!
487
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:23,200
- Congratulations, Philip J. Fry.
488
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,952
You are the winner!
489
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:28,205
- Return his eyes that he might gaze upon
490
00:21:28,205 --> 00:21:30,040
the horror he has wrought!
491
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,667
And the confetti.
[beep]
492
00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,460
[party horns blowing]
493
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:36,588
♪ melancholy music playing ♪
494
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:40,300
[crying]
495
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:44,304
[Donkey gagging]
496
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:46,473
[Fry grunting]
497
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:47,808
[roars]
498
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:50,686
- Well, that's that.
I gotta get to church.
499
00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:53,564
- The games are now complete.
500
00:21:53,564 --> 00:21:56,775
The winner is... her. Whoever she is.
501
00:21:56,775 --> 00:22:00,028
We thank the players for their efforts.
[beep]
502
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:04,533
[all gasping, murmuring]
503
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:07,911
- How the shmeck are we alive?
504
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:11,874
- The machine can easily
bring people back to life.
505
00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:13,750
Did I not mention that either?
506
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,335
- Farewell!
507
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,963
♪
508
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:24,428
- Well, that was the second
worst birthday party I ever had.
509
00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:28,056
All I ever wanted was for people
to believe I'm not a cheater.
510
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,683
- We believe you, Fry.
511
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:32,895
- Yeah, seeing as how that
old lady killed you so easy.
512
00:22:32,895 --> 00:22:35,439
- He went down like a sack of shoes.
513
00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:38,358
- I sure did. Thank you, everybody.
514
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,861
- Group hug. Come on! Group hug!
515
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,199
♪ mystical music playing ♪
516
00:22:46,158 --> 00:22:49,077
♪ melancholy music playing ♪
517
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,078
[cabinet creaks]
518
00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:54,625
- Eh, you really think
a games party is a good idea?
519
00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:57,377
I mean, Phil's not much of a competitor.
520
00:22:57,377 --> 00:23:00,547
- Yeah, I know.
He still can't work a zipper.
521
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,842
But, he's my son, and I love him,
522
00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:05,636
and I wanna give him a birthday
523
00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:09,139
that'll leave him feeling
like a winner for once.
524
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:12,643
♪ Ur Mum by Wet Leg playing ♪
525
00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:17,189
[blowing]
526
00:23:17,189 --> 00:23:20,192
♪
527
00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:21,860
[record scratch]
528
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,529
♪
529
00:23:28,242 --> 00:23:31,453
♪
530
00:23:34,915 --> 00:23:38,252
♪
531
00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:41,171
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
532
00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:53,141
- ♪ I feel so dumb, dumb, dumb ♪
533
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:55,060
♪ Mm, mm ♪
534
00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,520
♪ music fades ♪
535
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:00,357
♪ When I think about what you've become ♪
536
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:04,111
♪ I feel sorry for your mum ♪
537
00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:07,698
♪ You say we're all having fun ♪
538
00:24:07,698 --> 00:24:11,493
♪ Do you know you're the only one? ♪
539
00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:14,496
♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb,
dumb, dumb, dumb ♪
540
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:17,916
♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb,
dumb, dumb, dumb ♪
541
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:21,378
♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb,
dumb, dumb, dumb ♪
542
00:24:22,254 --> 00:24:24,673
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
543
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:25,883
♪ song fades ♪
544
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,886
♪
35322
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