Original subtitles

I had to admit,

it was intoxicating being in the band.

I mean, just look at these guys.

Since my breakthrough at the pub, I was all-in.

We were Lady Parts.

* I am alpha and omega *

* I am Nintendo Sega *

* I am Babylon, Iraq *

* I'm Hackney after dark *

* I'm a woman and I am a creature *

* A Madonna and the whore *

* I'm the zombie queen, I'll eat your brain *

* I am the girl next door *

* I'm a zombie queen *

* I'll eat your brains *

* Broken by the empire *

* Raised by MTV *

* Misfit of the motherland *

* Still fish and chips for tea *

* Broken by the empire *

* Raised by MTV *

* But still it's fish and chips for tea *

* I'm the glint in the milkman's eye *

* I'm your mama when you make her cry *

* Existential, who am I? *

* Fuck it, let's get high *

* I float like a fart in the air *

* I stink like your dad, don't care *

* I'm the POC BAME DOA PTSA *

* I'm a POC *

* BAME *

* DOA PTSA *

* Broken by the empire, raised my MTV *

* But still it's fish and chips for tea *

All right, lads. I'm off.

Ooh! -Oi, oi, oi.

Fuck off.

Over the last few weeks,

Ayesha and Zarina had been seeing a lot of each other.

And they had the selfies to prove it.

I've supported the clothing line since their inception.

"Inception." Great film.

The way they combine textures and colours,

it's just, like, ah!

It's hella magnifique. You are gonna love it.

Fucking love textures.

Despite Ayesha's frosty exterior,

when she fancied someone, she had zero chill.

Hey, so are we, you know?

Are we what?

A thing?

I don't know.

Why not?

Things seemed to be going well for Ayesha.

Oh, my God!

You look really beautiful!

And as for me,

I was successfully juggling being in the band

while still being there for Noor.

Look at her. -Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

Noor? -Noor.

Wait. -It's okay.

Hey. -Hey, you all right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's just, um, what if this isn't right?

Listen to me. You are Noor.

You're a trailblazer, a trendsetter.

You march to the beat of your own drum.

I do? -Yes.

It looks like I'd learned something

from all those Saira pep talks.

You are the strongest, kindest person I know.

I see how happy Imran makes you.

He's a sweet boo.

* Broken by the empire, raised by MTV *

* But still, it's fish and chips for tea *

You guys are amazing.

Literally the best thing ever.

We all had our dreams about

what Zarina's magazine piece could mean for us.

* Why be good enough when you could be a success *

* Why be good enough when you could be the damn best *

* You're gonna be a success *

* You're gonna be a success *

* Why be good enough when you could be the damn best *

* When you're different, you have to represent *

* Be better than the rest, better than the rest *

* Better than the rest, better than the rest *

* You're gonna be a success *

* You're gonna be a success *

* Why be good enough when you could be the damn best *

* When you're different, you have to represent *

* Be better than the rest, better than the rest *

* Why be good enough when you could be a success *

I've never actually ever been interviewed before.

Except this one time, for the "Bacteria Digest Podcast."

Zarina said she wanted to get under the skin of Lady Parts,

show the world who we really were.

Why do I wear a niqab? -Mm-hmm.

Well, it makes me feel closer to God,

which is obvs really nice in these crumbling times.

But also wearing it makes me feel confident,

like Queen Nefertiti or Beyonc�.

So your husband's an artist, too.

Yeah. Well, he's a poet.

And he runs these amazing poetry nights.

But by day, he's a mortgage advisor.

Uh-huh. -Yeah.

This is your manifesto. -Yeah.

Wow. -Um, uh, yeah.

It outlines who we are and what we stand for.

We're sisters who pray together, play together,

speaking our truth to whoever can be arsed to listen.

Amazing. Yes, okay.

It seemed like Zarina really got what Lady Parts was about.

Great, great, great, great.

Babe, you're amazing.

Oh, thank you.

But then, at a certain point...

I noticed you haven't mentioned being in the band

on your Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok.

Why? What are you ashamed of?

I�um�

This is quite a statement look.

Thank you.

Some people might think

you're doing it for the attention.

So your husband prefers that you don't work.

What? No, no.

So you're choosing not to work.

Well, yeah.

And is that you trying to uphold...

Traditional Muslim values?

What? No, no. Traditional values?

Nah. Fuck that.

I'm just�um, well, Wasim and I, we, uh�

Luckily, Zarina's tough questions were no match

for my intellect.

And I'm not ashamed.

I�I laugh in the face of shame.

Shame is lame.

So you're saying you have no shame.

What?

You mentioned external oppressors.

So are you saying the misogynistic forces

within the Muslim community are oppressing you?

That's an oversimplification of what I'm saying.

But it's part of what you're saying.

Sorry, Zarina, some of these questions,

they're a bit�I mean, you're really working an angle.

Oh, hon, I know what I'm doing.

You don't want this to be just a puff piece, do you?

No. -What was going on?

Was Zarina just being a thorough journalist?

It was hard to say.

she was Ayesha's girlfriend.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

And Ayesha had fallen hard.

You got kicked out of the mosque?

Yeah, but it wasn't my fault.

This old lady was going off on me

'cause my phone went off during prayers.

Honest mistake. Could happen to anyone.

It's just that my ringtone was Slipknot,

and she kept going on saying how the devil was in me,

and it deffo wasn't. I was there to pray.

It's just that I forgot to put my phone on silent.

So I acted in self-defence,

and I told her to, you know, piss off.

You told an old lady at the mosque to piss off?

She wasn't that old.

Okay. And where did the band come into this?

Well, Saira was praying next to me,

and she heard my phone go off,

and that's when she, you know, popped the question.

"Will you be in the band?" I said yeah.

I didn't play drums at that point.

I learned on the job, as they say.

Nice, nice, nice. Okay.

And how does it feel to be a queer, Muslim woman?

Zarina, you mind if we don't go there?

Sweetheart.

Think of all the queer kids who would feel so seen

if you just said who you really were.

Plus, you're a punk.

Aren't you supposed to not care what people think?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's okay, hon.

You are just not there on your journey.

* Gold teeth and a curse for this town *

* Were all in my mouth *

* Only I don't know how *

* They got out, dear *

* Turn me back into the pet *

* I was when we met *

* I was happier then with no mindset *

What's up, sis?

Happy birthday!

You're looking good.

You good?

Good, good.

I got your "NME."

You're welcome.

Mate, so much has happened.

Got a new guitarist, who's dope.

Also...

Lady Parts are gonna be in a magazine, too.

Not like the "NME" or the "Rolling Stone",

but some online thing.

It's the new shit.

Apparently where it's at these days.

Wish you were here.

Anywho, as promised,

here we go.

"Hole. The sweet revenge of Courtney Love.

"Wednesday, the phone rings.

" 'I'm busted.'

" It's Courtney.

She hasn't called for three years."

* Godspeed all the bakers at dawn *

* May they all cut their thumbs *

* And bleed into their buns *

Knock, bitch. -I did, bitch.

You're just deaf. -What do you want?

Amina, is she seeing anyone?

If you fuck with her heart,

I'll fuck with your face, understood?

Chill out, you psycho.

I just thought she might want to hang out.

Interesting development.

Still, if you hurt her even just a little...

I know.

You'll gut me and use my intestines as a skipping rope.

Bitch, I don't skip.

Still, do you know what she might like?

No, man. She's into, like, that white dad music.

Country and western, rootin' and tootin' shit.

Taz?

Wait, what? I'm coming.

Zarina's article had dropped sooner than we thought...

You okay?

And we were not ready.

I don't get what the big deal is.

"The bad girls of Islam"?

Really? "Haramed and dangerous"?

Zarina, you've got to change it.

It's funny, it's catchy, it's playful.

It's just like your music.

But we're not the bad girls of Islam. You know that.

Yeah, we're thoughtful, Muslim women of planet Earth.

There's your headline. -Wow.

It's just you're making us out to be some kind of joke.

Mm, "Honour Kill My Sister" is pretty LOLs.

Listen to this.

"Lady Parts say 'fuck you' to both their religion

and the west in raucous frenzy of unskilled guitar music."

Why would we be saying "fuck you" to our religion?

Also, unskilled guitar music?

What we're trying to say is

you're making us out to be dickheads.

I don't understand why you're kicking off.

I respected your wishes.

You asked me not to mention your sexuality, and I didn't.

Could have, but I didn't.

And can I just ask, when did I say

"fuck traditional Muslim values"?

I asked you if you were trying to uphold

traditional Muslim values, and you said, "Fuck that."

Yeah, but there's a difference.

There's a lot of nuance missing.

Nuance?

Wow. For a punk band, you guys are seriously uptight.

It's not often we get any kind of platform,

so you'll understand we're not thrilled

about being misrepresented.

Okay. Wow. This is really cute.

But let me explain something.

I have 1.2 million followers because I understand

how to engage with an audience.

I built that following from nothing.

You know what?

I don't need this. I'm gonna go.

You guys are trending, for God's sake.

You should be thanking me.

Zarina!

What just happened?

We're trending, all right.

* Moon in the night sky *

* How brightly she shines *

Blissfully unaware of the article's release,

I was buried in coursework

and wrestling with badly-behaved bacteria.

Come on.

This a bad time?

No, it's fine.

What's up?

Just wondering how you're doing.

How are the microbes and things?

The microbes and things are doing really well, thanks.

Growing up fast. -They do that, don't they?

Have you finished your coursework and everything?

Yep. Completed. Handed in.

Geek.

Did you know there's a Simon & Garfunkel tribute act

playing next week?

I know. Bernie and Lars. I love them.

They do a stellar rendition

of "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard."

Love, love.

So gutted I can't go.

You can't? -Nope.

I'm behind on my coursework,

the band are writing a bunch of new songs, which is full-on,

and Noor's wedding prep is mental.

Sounds a lot. -Mm.

Hey, Nora. Thank you so much.

It's fine. What do you need help with?

Uh, so�

You're busy.

I should head. Uh, sorry.

Good to see you.

As salaam alaikum, Mama. -Alaikum salaam.

How are you?

Okay.

How's your hip?

You still doing the music?

Yes.

I thought�

I was thinking maybe I could pop home for a bit?

If it's okay with you. I totally understand if not.

It's not a good time.

No.

I have guests.

Right. Yeah.

What the fuck?

Hey, hey. Sorry. Just packing up.

So excited for Gosling Night. Okay.

Thinking we start with "La La Land"

for some serious jazz Gosling in a nice suit,

followed by "First Man"

for that hit of brooding, astronaut Gosling

we all love, and then we round things off with "Drive"

for a cheeky bit of ultraviolent,

salt-of-the-earth Gosling we just can't resist.

What say you?

What's going on?

You should sit down, Amina. -Mm.

Okay?

You are in a punk band?

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

This was not supposed to happen.

How did they? How did they? Oh, God. Oh, God.

Okay.

Oh, um, yeah. I mean, it's just a new hobby.

Helps me blow off steam.

I don't know. It's just a side thing.

No big deal. -Oh, no big deal.

Do you have any idea what you've done?

I'm just the guitarist.

Look. -How could you do this to us?

After everything we've been through?

Us? What do you�

All the hate we get as Muslim women.

Mm.

This is actually, like, betrayal.

Mm. Betrayal? Wait. Betrayal?

Wait, wait, wait. No, no. This is wrong. This isn't us.

Us? Is she for real? -No, no. This isn't�

if you'd just listen to the lyrics, the music, it's not�

Oh, I'm sorry,

are you actually defending this twisted music?

Can't you see what they've done to you?

What? -You've been tricked.

Led astray. -It says here that you wrote

a song called "Bashir with the Good Beard",

because you were horny. -Ugh.

Horny.

I literally cannot even look at you right now.

You've been lying this whole time.

To my face. -Mm.

My own best friend. Right before my wedding.

It's like I don't even know who you are.

How could I have been so stupid?

Of course they were going to find out.

Everyone was going to find out.

What had I done? What have I done?

Momtaz had called an emergency band meeting.

I didn't feel I could face it.

But wasn't sure where else I could go.

Are you okay? -You good, sis?

We got worried when you didn't respond.

What happened? -We got snaked.

Where's Saira?

All right, lads. Sorry I'm late.

Did you see the article?

Yeah. I saw it.

Are we ready to rehearse?

I've written a song that I think could really bang.

Saira, we thought maybe we could talk about

what happened with the article. -No. Fuck that. Let's play.

Saira, we think maybe we should put out a response.

This song will be our response.

Saira.

* I wanna fuck a terrorist *

* I wanna fuck a terrorist *

* I wanna fuck a terrorist *

* I wanna fuck a terrorist *

Saira, that's not funny.

Saira, Saira. Can we just talk?

If they think we're the naughty girls of Islam,

desperate for attention,

let's give the people what they want.

* I wanna fuck a terrorist *

* They're sexy and they're tough *

* I love how they blow up *

What does that even mean? -Who cares what it means?

They'll see what they want to see, right?

* Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! *

* Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! *

I hated Saira.

At that moment, I just really hated her.

* Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! *

Stop! Stop it! What's wrong with you?

I'm great. You seem upset.

People hate the band. They hate our music.

We're mocking Islam. We're mocking our own people.

It's wrong. Don't you understand?

You're wrong. This is all wrong.

I'm sensing that you think this is wrong.

I knew it, I knew it.

I felt it when I first walked in this place.

All of it is wrong. People hate us.

There you go again.

So obsessed with what people think.

You need to get over it, mate.

Yeah, yeah, I do care what people think,

'cause I'm a member of this society.

I actually live on this planet.

There are consequences for what we say.

Consequences. You ever heard of that?

Mm-hmm.

You know what? I think you like to piss people off

'cause you love all the attention.

"Oh, there goes poor, Miss Saira.

So misunderstood."

Noor is right.

Noor.

Ah, Noor. Why don't you run off, then?

Like a good little lapdog. Fuck Noor, and fuck you.

No, fuck you. I quit.

Amina. Amina, wait.

Saira, we didn't know Zarina was gonna do that.

Please.

Let's hang out with this fucking great influencer.

Get all the likes and all the followers,

and we can be famous, yay.

That was the master plan, right?

Come on. That's not fair.

All we had was our integrity,

and it's shot in the head.

We might as well have published a nude photoshoot

with the caption, "Muslim sluts want to get dick",

and saved your influencer friend the trouble.

Saira.

You're the fucking band manager!

And you gave all the power of launching our band

to some internet hack.

I trusted you. I trusted you!

Saira. Lay off her.

Your lover girl really fucked us, didn't she?

You really didn't see it coming.

All those cute dates at galleries,

having mochaccinos and selfieing,

and you're telling me you didn't know she was a snake?

Saira, please. Hey, hey. Listen. Sis.

We understand you're upset.

The whole Abdullah thing. So you're going through a lot.

Don't you dare shrink me.

Just inhale for three. Find your Zen.

You know what?

I think you should find your Zen, and shove it up your ass.

Okay.

Did you even ever really care about this band, huh?

How can you even say that?

You know what? You can all fuck off,

as far as I'm concerned. Fuck this band!

Saira. -Please, just kindly fuck off!

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