Original subtitles

[man narrating]

[♪ Timbuk 3: "Shame On You"]

Whoo! [Iaughs]

[cackIing]

[whooping]

- Oh, yeah! - Hook them horns, baby!

We are on our way to the biggest party of the worId.

Yeah!

- [radio station jingIe pIays] - [phone rings]

Red River Rock 'n' RoII Request Line. This is Stretch.

[woman] That's for Glen.

And could you tell the girls at Mesquite High just to leave him alone?

[Stretch] Got it, and l believe it. Glen is off-limits now.

This is Stretch on an open request Iine on K-OKLA in Burkburnett, Texas,

Red River Rock 'n' RoII,

from the tip-top of the DaIIas-Fort Worth metropIex.

[♪ The Cramps: "Goo Goo Muck"]

Heck, Iet's give Stretch a caII and see what she says.

- What kind of name is Stretch? - No idea.

[phone rings]

Red River Rock 'n' RoII Request Line. This is Stretch.

Yo, Stretch! It's the one and onIy Buzz.

And Rick the Prick! [laughs]

And from all the senior boys at WheeIer High to aII the senior girIs,

who are so stuck-up, play "You're on the Road to Nowhere."

No, you mean, "We're on the Road to Nowhere."

No, baby.

We're on the road to Texas-OU Weekend in DaIIas!

You're on the road to nowhere! [Iaughs]

Hook them horns, baby! Whoo!

[chuckIes] ReaI funny, guys.

OK, you wanna hang up now?

Tying up the Iine. Hey, come on.

- No way, baby! - We got a Iot more requests!

Hey, check it out, dude.

Let's pIay a IittIe chicken with the farmer here.

- [Iaughs] - Whoo!

- Come on, baby! Come on! - Whoo-hoo! Come on!

[Iaughing, whooping]

Come on, man.

[horn honks]

[Iaughing over phone]

[Iaughing]

- Come on! - Whoo!

[whooping, Iaughing]

[horn honks]

[whooping]

- Hot damn! - Hook them horns!

Whoo!

That was great! That was great!

You got that, babe? Hot Iine?

[Buzz] You better stick with us, baby!

Yeah. Later, sports. Just hang up, OK?

- [Buzz] No way! - [cackIing]

Hook them horns! Whoo!

- L.G.! - Damn it, I'm trying, darIing.

Don't caII me darIing, damn it.

[Iaughing]

[both Iaughing hystericaIIy]

[♪ The Cramps: "Goo Goo Muck"]

Yow! It's 8:1 1 , Texas-time, on a Friday night.

I know nobody's Iistening because y'aII are aII zooming,

but I got a shot of hot rock 'n' roII for you anyway.

[phone rings]

[♪ Oingo Boingo: "No One Lives Forever"]

K-OKLA, Red River Rock 'n' RoII Request.

What it is, Stretch? This is the Buzz again.

Oh, not again. Hang it up, Iame-o. Go caII your mother.

Yeah, yeah, taIk dirty. But this is for Rick the Prick.

He wants to hear "Bright Lights, Big Titties."

Wrong. I don't want to hear it. I want to see it!

Bright Iights, big titties! Whoo!

L.G.? L.G., get in here, pIease.

[whooping, Iaughing on phone]

Whoo! [Iaughs]

[truck horn honks]

What the fuck?

Are you crazy?

Back up, pig fucker!

Come on. Hurry up. Get out of here!

- Oh, my God! - They gotta hang up.

Step on it!

- Shit! What the fuck? - Come on, hurry up!

[Stretch] Hang up!

[screeching]

- What the heII is that? - Look, it's some kind of geek.

- The geek's got a... - Come on. What is that?

- Shit! - Come on. Get out of here.

- Where'd he come from? - I don't beIieve this shit!

[Rick] Just keep driving. Come on.

- [Rick] Hey, Iet's go. Come on. - [Buzz] What the heII is that?

- Go on! What's he doing? - God damn it!

[Rick] What's he got there?

[Buzz] Jesus Christ!

- What? - Come on. What is that?

- I don't beIieve this shit! - Come on!

[Rick] You can do it! Come on!

[Buzz] Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!

- HoIy shit! - Come on, get out of here!

[Rick] He's got a fucking chainsaw!

[chainsaw buzzing, screaming over phone]

[whimpering]

[screaming]

- Sounds Iike a buzz saw. - Buzz saw?

Hey, hang up, man.

Hang up. Hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up!

Get him. Shoot the bastard. Get him. Shit!

Fuck! Shoot that motherfucker, yeah!

- [screams] - [saw buzzing]

[yeIIing]

Shit! Keep back! God!

[yeIIing]

Son of a bitch! Shit!

[yeIIing on phone]

[gunshot]

Missed us, asshoIes.

[screaming]

[crashing on phone]

What? Itjust cut off.

Did you do that? What happened?

It's Iike super feedback.

Just put the underwoofer across the overfIapper.

I don't know.

Just went dead air.

- I want the Iicense pIate. - No probIem.

All right, now, ease up here.

[man] You go get your pictures.

[man 2] Watch out, Bob.

All right, keep the tension on that Iine.

[man 3] Hey, Ioosen that chain. We need some sIack.

- [siren waiIs] - Easy. Easy.

You, get out of there!

[over radio] Three-zero.

Cowboy, get away from there. This is an accident scene.

The area is restricted.

- Not gonna teII you... - It's aII right, WendeII.

Lieutenant Enright, sir.

We heard you might be headed this way. Did you come over for the big game?

You know why I'm here.

Yes, sir, something about the chainsaw kiIIers,

your brother's kids kiIIed.

But that was 14 years ago, sir, way down in South Texas.

Now, these are other kids.

This is just an accident.

Just a coupIe ofwiId punks out raising heII.

Yep.

One of those boys is so wiId, sawed his own head off

going 90 miIe per hour.

[chuckIes] HeII.

HeII's exactIy what they raised.

No, sir, that information's off the record.

You know, sir, this is aIways a pretty hairy weekend for DaIIas.

WhoIe Iot of foIks come to town and don't give a damn about footbaII.

You know, they just wanna go bIood crazy for a few and riot.

You know what "riot" means. You were a Ranger.

I can't hardIy keep them down by Iaw, and if...

If you go around promoting this chainsaw...

Try to speak pIain.

Saves time.

I have authority from the DA's office

to put you right back on the next pIane to AmariIIo.

WeII, you just do that, son. I'd Iike to see that authority.

All right, Lieutenant Enright, what's your deal?

All right.

I'm gonna ask some questions.

Put it in the press. Get it in the news.

Any information about this accident...

...and maybe some witnesses.

Yes, sir, I... I know some oId boys at the paper.

We'II get your story out for you.

Brazos.

Brazos!

Remember the AIamo, cowboy.

- [whooping, Iaughing] - [pounding on door]

[man] I won!

Wanna fuck?

Asshole.

You need a witness? I'm a witness.

This Mercedes? I think I was taIking to those kids when it happened.

No way was that an accident.

- You saw it. - No, but I heard it.

You can Iisten. It's here on tape.

Oh, shit. Come on.

ReguIations. We gotta record aII the caII-ins.

End of the night, we wipe the tapes,

but I kept this one just 'cause... Itjust got to me.

- We got professionaIs working... - I didn't know what I heard,

but I read your story. What you're Iooking for

- is on this tape. - ...so don't fooI with it.

You can sIow it down now.

You're just a joke in this morning's paper.

"Cowboy chases chainsaws 14 years.

DaIIas poIice refuse comment."

Like you're, you know, hung up on something crazy.

But I beIieve you. I might be the onIy beIiever you got.

- 'Cause it's right here. - What is?

Right on here, those kids getting kiIIed.

Now, this is evidence, sort of, right?

Yeah, it's time for you to go home.

- No, wait a minute. - Come on.

Look, I came here because I thought I couId heIp you.

I deejay this dumb show on K-OKLA up in Burkburnett,

but peopIe Iisten to me aII across North Texas.

Now, I couId put you on the radio,

get peopIe to beIieve you, get you some heIp.

You're gonna get in my way.

- Don't you get in my way. - No, I'm aIready right

in the middIe of this.

This is my chance to stop pIaying head-banging music

and do something reaI.

WeII, I don't need anybody to stand with me,

aII right?

You can't do it aIone.

I got a perfect wiIIingness to die.

That gives me a moraI on this bunch of mad dogs.

They Iive on fear. They thrive on it.

I ain't got no fear Ieft.

Adios.

I ain't got no fear, Lord.

[rock music pIays]

[muttering]

- Hardass. - Hardass? Me?

WeII, maybe a semi-hardass, but I got a soft heart.

Looky.

- BuiIt you a IittIe fry house. - L.G.!

What, darIing?

Oh, L.G.

[beII ringing]

OK, everybody, hush up. Listen up, y'aII.

The Texas-OU ChiIi Cook-off champion is

- from Norman, OkIahoma? No. - [aII] No!

Waco, Texas? Mm-mm.

TuIsa? Nope.

- Pardon me. - Austin? Uh-uh.

He's DaIIas' favorite caterer, and I think he's kind of cute.

The Last Round-up RoIIing GriII chef,

- Drayton Sawyer! - [cheering]

[crowd chanting] Drayton! Drayton! Drayton! Drayton!

Drayton! Drayton! Drayton! Drayton!

It's the second year in a row. This year, Drayton,

you've got to teII the secret of that fabuIousIy tasty chiIi!

No secret. It's the meat.

Don't skimp on the meat.

I got a reaI good eye for prime meat.

Runs in the famiIy.

Whoop! Whoop! [chuckIes]

It's one of those, uh, hard-sheII peppercorns.

I gotta say, I Iove this town.

This town Ioves prime meat!

[cheering]

So there's the big story. Texas cIobbers OkIahoma in chiIi.

This is Stretch, your fearIess reporter, Iive from DaIIas.

[marching band music pIays]

[man speaking indistinctIy on radio]

[Stretch on radio] Now, be sure to watch your drinking and driving

on this wild and woolly Texas-OU Weekend.

- This is Stretch, on K-OKLA... - [shuts off radio]

Cut-Rite.

No, C.L., I ain't seen FIetcher.

WeII, Iast Friday.

WeII, heII, he's on the road, then.

WeII, don't beIieve me, then. Fine.

C.L...

No.

I'II be with you in just a minute, sir.

Now, you're getting as mean as a sting bat, C.L.

No, heII, don't caII back.

No, don't you caII back. I got a business here,

and FIetcher ain't none of my business.

Damn!

What can I do you for?

WeII, don't you wanna test them? There's gas in them.

Get them suckers a time or two.

Oh, my kid banana.

Damn, what is he doing?

[man Iaughing]

Now, this is very hard to beIieve.

I'd Iike you to pIay that tape, missy.

Come aII the way up here to Burkburnett. No shit!

Yeah.

Oh, you wanna hear it now.

I wanna hear it on the radio.

On your show.

Uh-uh.

I don't think it'd be IegaI to do that.

FCC reguIations, those things.

WeII, you just figure out how to do it and do it.

You bend the ruIes. I don't know.

Huh!

- Why? - Because the kiIIers are here.

KiII sites have been cIustered aII over Northeast Texas the Iast two years.

The Iaws, they shy away from piecing it together as murder.

They caII it accidents, disappearances.

You got that Iast sIaughter on tape. You pIay it on the radio.

Maybe then, the Iaws wiII stop trying to shut me up and start heIping me.

Besides, it'II give you something reaI to do.

- You said you were gonna do this aIone. - [sighs]

I need your heIp, missy.

WeII...

...you can caII me Stretch, Mr. Enright.

WeII, now, you can caII me Lefty.

It's mighty nice doing business with you.

- Thanks. - AII right.

You have a nice day, now.

You, too.

[Drayton] ♪ Number one again!

♪ Drayton did it again Ha-ha! Number one

♪ Number one The Sawyers are number one

[Iaughing]

♪ Number one ♪

[radio jingIe pIays]

♪ K-OKLA ♪

So here's a speciaI request we're doing this afternoon and tonight.

You steady Iisteners know we're playing this every hour.

This is for Lefty.

- [Buzz] Hog fucker! Son of a bitch! - [chainsaw buzzing]

- [phone rings] - [chuckIes]

Ah! Last Round-up Rolling Grill. We're stiII number one.

I toId you, boys, and I toId you.

Don't caII on this phone. Now, damn it, get off.

What? What's on the radio?

Now, don't buIIshit me. I can't...

I won't... AII right, what station?

This ain't no joke, boy?

- Then I'm tuning it in. - [changing stations]

[Buzz] Hog fucker! Son of a bitch!

You two nap-haired idiots. You've done it again!

You coon shits! You fudge-packers! You'II be the death of me yet!

[Iaughing, moaning]

[screaming on radio]

[Rick] Missed us, assholes.

- [screaming] - [phone ringing]

K-OKLA.

Come on, Lefty. Where are you?

[crashing]

This concIudes the broadcast day for K-OKLA in Burkburnett, Texas,

Red River Rock 'n' RoII.

In New York, it's 1 :00am, stiII fun city.

In LA, 10:00 at night, party time.

But deep in the heart of Texas, it's 12:00 midnight.

Ain't nothing going on.

- [♪ "The Star-SpangIed Banner"] - It's another cussing caIIer.

Your IittIe ass is gonna be in big troubIe over that tape, girI.

Nope.

[spits]

[sighs] Sure got a Iot of compIaints, darIing.

L.G., it was a request, right? It's Iisted in the Iogs as a request.

PeopIe compIain about the request every night, right?

Uh-huh.

Wanna go for coffee at Big State?

Nope.

Huh, I guess you're waiting on this guy, Lefty?

L.G.

Night, L.G.

Good night.

God damn it! [spits]

[rock music pIays]

Shit!

[phone rings]

K-OKLA, this is Stretch.

HeIIo?

- HeIIo, Lefty? - [hangs up]

[cIattering]

L.G.?

[banging]

Lefty?

[man moaning]

I wanna buy some radio-ad time.

Are you fucking crazy? We are closed!

Off the air tiII tomorrow. You'II have to just come back.

[man] No, but... But, yeah, but...

Whoa!

So this is radio Iand, huh? The infinite turnover?

The waves through the ether fuzz roII on forever.

Roar!

Can't cIose that. Hi, I know what you're thinking.

"This is weird. Hope I can handIe it." [Iaughs]

You know...

...you're my fave.

Me and Bubba, my IittIe brother, we listen to you every night.

Music is my Iife.

You know, you're my fave,

but I get too embarrassed to phone in my request.

It's too disembodied, you know?

But... [groans]

...now that we're here in fIesh and bIood,

I couId maybe make a request, and it'd stiII count, huh?

Sure. Mm-hm.

WeII, what about...

...Iron ButterfIy? [Iaughs]

You know, Iike "In-A-Vida-Da-Gadda, Baby?"

It's heavy! You know,

I've never been to a radio station before.

Do you think you couId do me a tour, huh?

Tour?

Tour. Sure, sure.

But seriousIy quick, and it ends at the exit sign.

Oh, boy! OK, yeah, sure!

OK, your tour. Here's your tour. Here's your tour. Here's a Iamp.

Yeah, Iamp.

- Here's a typewriter. - Oh!

- Rubber man. - Uh-huh. Rubber man. I Iike him.

- ArmadiIIo. Here's Mr. Shark. - [chuckIes]

Oh, Mr. Shark! [Iaughs]

- Here's some fIowers. - FIowers.

RoIodex.

- Here's a Iamp. - Oh!

And there's the exit sign. Tour's over.

Oh... [Iaughs]

"E-X...

...I-T.

Exit." [Iaughs]

- Good night. - Oh. Good night!

Good night!

Good night.

Good night!

[high-pitched] Good night.

[Iaughs]

Hey, what about my request?

You know.

That Lefty-request record

that you honked out today?

I Iove that.

Let's see...

[imitating chainsaw, gunshots, screaming]

What was it, anyway? The Rambo III soundtrack?

Gonna pIay it again?

Sure wouId Iike it.

Hey, maybe I couId get a copy,

and you couId autograph it.

To a... a far-out fan!

- What's in here? - Record vauIt.

Oh, where you keep the goIden oIdies?

And, uh, maybe...

Maybe the new music's in...

[screaming]

Ow! Not me, you dumbass!

Get the girI! Get the girI!

[screaming]

- [yeIIing] - [screaming]

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

He dented my pIate! Ah! My brain is burning!

'Nam fIashback! 'Nam fIashback!

[groaning]

Leatherface, you bitch, I'II...

Look what you did to my Sonny Bono wig-do.

God damn, I can't beIieve it!

You gonna have to buy me a new pIate cover!

You gonna have to buy me a new pIate cover, Leatherface.

Oh!

He's gonna send me back to the VA HospitaI

with this dent in my plate.

[groaning]

WeII, at Ieast he didn't mess me up.

Dog wiII hunt. Get that bitch, Leatherface.

Get that bitch! [chuckIes]

Dog wiII hunt.

[groaning, yeIIing]

[screaming]

Go away!

[shouting]

[screaming]

Shit. HumbIe Pie!

Hurry up, Leatherface. Hurry up. Get that bitch!

[screaming]

Go away!

[imitating eIectric guitar, Iaughs]

Music is my Iife!

[screaming, whimpering]

[saw stops buzzing]

Ah! [shouting]

[gasping] They Iive on fear. They Iive on fear. They Iive on fear.

They Iive on fear. They Iive on fear. They Iive on fear.

[music pIaying on radio]

[singing]

♪ Ghost inside your haunted head ♪

Stretch, darIing, you know the door's unIocked?

[cIattering]

Hey!

What the shit?

Hey! Lick my pIate, you dog dick!

What the fuck you think you're doing in here,

you crazy-Iooking IittIe son of a bitch? Get out of here!

- [shouting] - [moaning]

Time for incoming maiI!

- [Iaughing] - [gagging]

Ho Chi Minh!

- [Iaughing] - [groaning]

A-one and a-two and a-three!

Go, you IittIe bitch!

[Leatherface screaming]

- [gasps] - [chainsaw buzzing]

[metaI scraping]

- [saw shuts off] - [rattIing]

[screaming]

Go away! Leave me aIone!

[screams]

[screaming]

- [Iaughing] - [screaming]

No, no, no, no! God, no, pIease don't!

Incoming maiI!

[Stretch] No, no, no!

No, no, no, pIease, God, no!

No, no, no, pIease, God! PIease, God, no!

No!

No, no, no, pIease, God! Stop it! God, no!

No, no, pIease, God!

Are you mad at me?

How mad at me are you?

You're not reaIIy mad at me.

[gasping]

How good are you?

Huh?

- [moaning] - [man] Get that bitch, Leatherface!

Get that bitch!

How good...

...are you?

[Leatherface moaning]

Oh.

ReaIIy?

Are you really, really...

...good?

[panting]

Are you really good? Really good?

You're reaIIy good.

[panting, moaning]

You're the best.

Oh, no.

- [screaming] - [chainsaw turning over]

[screams]

- [saw starts up] - [yeIIing]

No! No!

PIease don't kiII me!

No, God!

No, pIease, God!

No, God!

[screaming]

[shouting]

Oh, God! Oh, God!

[Leatherface moaning]

Leatherface. [Iaughs]

Did you get her, Bubba? Did you get that bitch?

She was my fave, but she knew.

And now, nobody knows.

Look what you did to my pIate, you bitch!

You got her? Did you get her good?

SIap me five.

I got one, too.

A bonus body! [cackling]

Look at that beef.

HeIp me get it out of here.

Oh!

Ooh... [chuckIes]

- Giddyup! - [honks horn]

No, they'II get away.

No, no, they'II get away.

They can't get away.

[truck starts]

God damn it, Lefty. You're Iate.

Damn it, Lefty.

Oh!

[grunting]

[whimpering]

[Lefty] Stretch!

Lefty?

- [screams] - Stretch!

- [screaming] - HoId on!

Grab onto something. HoId onto it.

Lefty, they came! Where were you?

I had to do it. Damn, I used you, girI.

I'm here now. Grab hoId of this.

Grab hoId of this, now. Don't you cry, IittIe sister. I'm here now.

Come on, I'm here now. You can get it. Come on, now.

You got it. Come on.

- [straining] - Come on! Grab it!

[screaming]

Oh, my God.

Oh, Lord, heIp me beat this stranger that waIks beside me,

that takes away my strength.

Lord, you show me the end.

Show me what I fear so I don't fear it no more.

[screaming]

[yeIIing]

It's the deviI's pIayground.

I'm bringing it down! Down to heII!

Bring it aII down!

[yeIIing]

[saw echoing]

[indistinct chatter in distance]

[Drayton] I hate to say it, but that hiIIbiIIy hog you boys

got earIier is the top tonight.

[man] That's mine! Mine! Not Bubba's. Me! Me!

[Drayton] Bust it up!

[man] Wanna go to the movies?

No crowds. Everybody's at the footbaII parties.

[Drayton] Tonight's a washout.

Biggest meat-eater weekend of the month, and we're gonna Iose money on it.

Damn it aII! Maybe we just ought to quit.

[man] Oh, yeah? Kiss my pIate, Mr. Big Shot. Maybe you forgot.

This chrome dome bankroIIed this food business.

No Iucky gook with a machete, no head wound.

No head wound, no fancy roIIing griII a-go-go.

Ain't no fool. Kiss it. Don't forget it.

[eIectric knife whirring]

PeeI that pig and sIice him thick.

- That's my sweet pea. - Get them hogs on the griII.

Big, big pre-game brunch tomorrow means a ton of croissant sandwiches.

Oh, I Iove this town.

Hey, you nitwit, get back in here and get that griII going.

[knife whirring]

[Leatherface groaning]

[knife whirring]

[Leatherface moaning]

- [gagging] - [knife whirring]

- [metaI cIattering] - [Stretch gasps]

[screams]

[shouting]

No. No. No good.

No good.

[straining]

Come on, Bubba. Cook's out here, and he's chewing ass Iike it was steak.

"You gotta run for that money now.

Chase that doIIar. Gotta go fast to catch it."

You dumb baboons are too dumb to even cIose the door.

I'm tired of kicking your asses.

What are you doing? You trying to hide something?

[Leatherface moaning]

Get that eyebaII pâté working.

Hey, you coon shit, where are you going? We need the cIub sandwiches...

HeIp. HeIp me. PIease.

PIease, heIp me.

Can you heIp me get out of here?

What is it? Put that down. Put that down.

Put that down.

What is that?

Is it wet? It's wet. Put it down.

[sobbing]

- [moaning] - [gasping]

[whimpering]

[moaning]

[L.G. groaning]

[groaning]

[yeIps]

[shrieking]

[groaning IoudIy]

[whimpering]

[spits]

[rasping] My darIing.

[Stretch sobbing]

DarIing?

Don't be scared, darIing.

[groaning]

[screams]

[Stretch] Oh no, L.G.

Oh no. Oh no.

L.G.!

Oh, my God!

[sobbing] L.G., they got you, too?

Oh, L.G.!

[spits]

We gotta get y'aII Ioose.

[groaning]

I guess I'm faIIing apart on you, honey.

[Stretch sobbing]

[L.G.] No.

[moaning] No.

[exhaIes]

Shit.

[shuddering]

[sobbing]

L.G.

I Iove you.

[Ioud rumbIing]

[Drayton] So he says,

"Hey, get me those Iawyers. LegaI meat."

- [man] LegaI meat, yeah! - [Drayton] Bubba, you idiot!

Get your ass over here.

- You fucked up again. - [man] You fucked up again.

[Drayton] He says, "Hey, get me those Iawyers.

LegaI meat, y'aII."

Fuck me in the Ieft eye! [Iaughs]

Valuable kill-time wasted running down them coked-up penciI necks,

and not a good chop on the whoIe bunch.

I pick the vittIes. Get it?

- I. Me. Nobody but... - [man] I pick the vittIes, I.

- [Drayton] Bubba, you huII wreckage! - [man] Me. Nobody but...

[Drayton] Busted again, huh? That's the main support beam.

[cracking, rumbIing]

Fuck, you idiots! You both wiII pay!

Both of you... You're both...

Look what your brother's done now. You coon shit.

You cut the main support beam. And this is what happens.

Of course this is what happens.

- [Iaughing] - That big brute!

Dirty meat don't cut it.

FamiIy standards onIy require the best meat in town.

More money Iost.

I never, never, never get a break.

Work, work night and day,

presenting myseIf to the peopIe, seIIing, seIIing.

You pair of prima donnas fooIing around here and Iistening to the radio aII day

and sawing down your own house.

Take it aII down!

Bring it aII down!

Bury the deviI!

May the Lord have mercy on our souIs! Ah!

Get that thing out of here.

Maybe it cracked the main butane tank.

It's up there. Go Iook at it.

Taxes. Taxes.

Damn property taxes fuck up everything.

Crooks don't pay taxes. PoIiticians don't.

Movie stars don't.

It's the IittIe guy that can't make a dime. He pays the taxes.

SmaII businessman gets it in the ass every time.

I ought to quit.

Right, it's junk. Quit. Dump this cook show.

SeII off this turkey. It's time. It's in the air.

It's what the pubIic wants.

I don't wanna hear that again.

It's 'Nam Land!

- [fizzIing] - [yeIps]

Yow! What the heII was that?

[high-pitched] I don't know, boy. It Iooked Iike a big, big firebaII.

[cackIing]

'Nam Land.

NapaIm.

Fire in the hoIe.

That's the main butane tank up there, Bubba.

Go Iook at it. Get your butt moving, boy.

Go up there and Iook at it. Go Iook at it.

- I'II kick you in the ass again. - Not now. It's 'Nam Land.

- It's a hit. It's a bang. It's a smash. - Shut him up, Bubba.

Did you see it?

WeII, did you? Didn't you?

Did you? Didn't you?

Go check it out, boy.

- 'Nam Land! - Oh, shut up!

I toId you to go check it out, boy, before I start kicking your ass.

Some kind of crazy booger just skipped through here.

No, a booger? How big?

[high-pitched] A big crazy booger. Let's hauI butt, bro.

[whispers] Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

FrankIin.

Don't you cry, my brother.

I'm here now.

They can't do this.

They can't do this!

They can't do this! They can't do this!

I'II take you back to heII!

I'II take you to heII!

[whimpering]

- [saw buzzing] - [screams]

[screams]

[panting]

[screaming]

[shouting]

All right, all right!

Let's taIk about it.

OK. What, are you pissed-off? What about me?

Listen, this is not gonna work out. [sobbing]

I'm trying to be open with you. It's nobody's fauIt. I just can't do this.

Let me go.

What the heII's going on here?

Bubba, you nap-haired idiot.

Get out of here.

Who's this? I get it.

Are you the saboteur that's fucking up our house?

Trying to put me out of business?

Thousands of doIIars Iost.

You got that kind of money? No!

It's the deejay. My fave.

That dirty thing?

ToId me you boys got her.

[man] WeII, yeah.

Leatherface kiIIed her once aIready tonight.

But Iook, she's red-faced.

Bubba's been pIaying with her. Bubba Iikes her.

Bubba's got a girIfriend.

Bubba's got a girIfriend! Bubba's got a girIfriend!

Bubba's got a girI... [screams, Iaughs]

Is that what this is, Bubba?

The oId cock-and-cunt swindIe, huh?

S-C-E-X. Sex.

And you had to find out about it, didn't you?

You just couIdn't Ieave it aIone.

If you wanted to know about it so bad, why didn't you ask me?

You wanna know about it? You wanna know about it?

Ask me. Ask me.

It's a swindIe, that's aII. So don't get mixed up in it.

[sobbing] HeIp me. HeIp me.

HeIp me.

PIease, heIp me. PIease.

[imitating] HeIp me.

[sobbing] PIease, heIp me.

All right, Miss Priss, cut that out.

Leave him aIone, damn it!

Bubba, you were supposed to finish her. Finish her now.

- Burn her Iike a rat. - Finish her.

- Burn her Iike a rat! - Finish her now.

Burn her Iike a rat! Burn her Iike a rat, rat, rat!

- Burn her Iike a rat! - Finish her now!

- Finish her now, Bubba! - Burn her Iike a rat!

- Finish her! - Finish her. Finish her.

Give me that.

Turn traitor for a piece of taiI.

You got one choice, boy, sex or the saw.

Sex is, weII, nobody knows.

But the saw, the saw is famiIy.

- The saw is famiIy. - Wait tiII Granddad hears about this.

Take her away.

- She's in the garbage now. - Oh, no.

- Oh, no. - A-one...

...and a-two...

...and a-three!

[screaming] No!

[Drayton] Dinnertime, damn it! Let's go.

Eat and run. Eat and run.

There's a Iot of hungry footbaII fans to feed.

Hurry it up. Grandpa Iikes to go fast.

He aIways did. Come on. Come on.

Time eats money.

Those damn coon shits are the weight of the famiIy.

I stoop my shouIders taking care of my younger brothers.

It squashed the young years out of my Iife

Iike a can of cheese whip.

I wouIdn't wish this rotten Iife

off on a one-eyed ferret with mange.

You're the first girI Bubba's brought home to dinner.

This is a reaI speciaI occasion.

Grandpa sure Iooks forward to meeting you.

He's 137 years oId but stiII as fast as Jesse James,

so don't you worry none.

- Here comes Grandpa now. - [Stretch screams]

God bIess you, Grandpa.

It's pIaytime! It's dinnertime!

Your IittIe boys have some Ieft here for you.

Yes, no, yes, no! Yes, we do!

[Drayton, man] We Iove you! We Iove you!

OK, now. Take it easy, now. Take it easy with Grandpa.

- That's right. That's right. - Get him over here easy, now.

- That's right. OK. - Come on, you boys.

- [Stretch screaming] - Easy with Grandpa, now.

- Easy with Grandpa. - No! No!

[Stretch] Oh, pIease, no.

Don't rattIe him Iike that, damn it!

You're baIIing up his shit.

[screaming] No!

Grandpa's strict Iiquid diet keeps him as fresh as a rose.

Every spring,

the AtIas Rendering Company used to throw a big barbecue for Grandpa.

He was the master.

He was the one and onIy.

He showed us aII the business.

We was raised in meat. [Iaughs]

But then after the gIory, here comes the shame.

Atlas went for automation.

The eIectrified cages,

the coId-steeI chutes,

the air-powered head hammers.

That drove Grandpa crazy, seeing things done Iike that.

Let me go! Let me go!

No, no, that's aII right. That's aII right. It'II be over soon.

Get the hammer.

The crunching and the grinding,

he just couIdn't stand it, no way.

So that was aII she wrote.

One morning, Grandpa just quit going in.

It was the shame.

It was the shame. The shame.

There's more work to do. Let's get on with it.

Right. Let's get on with it. Bingo!

Give me that. Get that tub over there in a hurry.

Do I have to do every damn thing around here?

- You just sit tight. - [screaming]

Bubba, she's ready. Bring her on down.

[screaming] No!

- Oh, no! - Bring her on down, damn it!

[Stretch] No! No!

Bring her on down!

No! No, no, no!

No, no, no!

HeIp me! No, no, no!

Let me go! You gotta Iet me go! Let me go! PIease, heIp me!

- This wiII be one you won't forget. - PIease, heIp me!

It's a reaI honor.

Grandpa, he's a one-hitter.

And it's just like going home.

PIease heIp me!

- No! No! No, God! - [man imitating] No, no.

HeIp me! Let me go!

Let me go! Let me go!

HeIp me, pIease!

PIease, heIp me!

Let's go see Grandpa, boy.

No, don't!

- No! No, God! - Come on. Bring the bitch down.

- [screaming] - [groaning]

No! No!

No, no, Iet me go!

Let me go!

Let me go! No! No!

No, no, no!

No!

Here come the judge. Here come the judge.

No!

Now, don't ruin Grandpa's favorite rug.

Be carefuI of the spIatter. You gotta be carefuI of the spIatter.

- Great-grandma in chainsaw heaven... - No! No! God!

...pIease don't hoodoo the boy.

Hey, Grandpa, here's the big boy.

Look what Bubba brought you.

Hey, Grandpa, Bubba's got something to show you here.

Look, a SIurpee booty. [Iaughs]

- Hit her, Grandpa. - Come on, Grandpa.

Let's see you do it. Now, come on. Come on, Grandpa. You're the best.

- Hit her, Grandpa. Hit her! - Come on. Hit her, Grandpa.

Come on, I'm teIIing you...

Remember those thieves? Come on. One-hitter.

- Come on, Grandpa. - Hit her. Hit her, Grandpa.

Come on, you won't miss her.

- [Grandpa groaning] - [screaming]

Come on, Grandpa.

Hit her. Hit that bitch. Hit that bitch.

Come on, Grandpa.

Come on, Grandpa. You can do it. You're the best.

Come on, there, Grandpa. Come on, there, Grandpa.

Come on, Grandpa. You can do it. You're the best.

- Hit that bitch, Grandpa. Hit her. - [screaming]

Come on, Grandpa. Hit her. You are, Grandpa. You're the best.

- [moaning] - Yeah! That's good, isn't it, Grandpa?

[screaming]

Grandpa!

- Attaboy, Grandpa. - Hit that bitch, now, Grandpa.

- Come on, Grandpa. You can do it. - Get her now, Grandpa. You can do it.

Come on, Grandpa.

[Stretch] No! No! No!

No! No! No! No!

No! No!

Hit that bitch. Hit that bitch!

Come on, Grandpa!

Oh, Grandpa, Iet's get on with it.

All right! Slurpee-booty time!

[saw buzzing]

[Lefty singing in distance]

[man imitates singing]

Shut up!

What the heII's going on here?

[Lefty continues singing]

Boys, boys, boys.

What the heII's going on here?

Is that the American way of entering a man's home, singing Iike that?

I get it. The oId pressure game, huh?

Boys, you never shouId have been doing this.

Who sent you? Those sissies over at DeI-Mar Catering?

That chickenshit Burrito-Man bunch? [Iaughs]

WeII, I don't care, you hear? Yeah, that's right.

It's a dog-eat-dog worId.

And from where I sit, there just ain't enough damn dogs.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the damn kitchen.

How much, huh? Let's make a deaI right here.

ReaI cash money.

Just you and me, huh? I don't care who sent you.

I'm the Lord of the Harvest.

Who's that? Some new heaIth-food bunch?

Come on. Come on.

Is there any money in it, you wanna know?

Yeah, right here. How much? How much?

- Lefty. - Sister.

Lefty!

Brazos!

[screaming]

Run, sister. Run.

- [screaming] - [man shouting, Iaughing]

[yeIIing]

SmaII businessman that...

...aIways, aIways, aIways gets it in the ass!

Sure... Sure took care of my hems.

Saved a trip to the hospitaI.

Ah. Looks... Looks bad.

Sure burned my beans bad on that one.

[cackIing]

[Leatherface screaming]

Maybe it's time to just shut down.

Time to shut down the show, yeah.

Yeah, puII the pIug. Come here, nubbins.

Where... Where's that oId "Fuck you, CharIie"?

[screaming]

[exhaIing sIowIy]

[shouting]

[groans] That IittIe "Just in case, baby"?

Where'd you put it?

Ah! Yeah, there it is.

Man... Man buiIds a good, sturdy trade

by hooking and crooking.

And then, kerplooey!

The gods just kick him right in the baIIs.

Oh, no, not this time.

[cackIing]

[screams]

No! No!

- [man cackIing] - [groaning]

Ah! [groaning]

- [screaming, babbIing] - [fizzIing]

I got the Iast Iaugh right here.

[Iaughs]

[both shouting]

Ah!

[shouting]

[man cackIing]

[expIosion]

[man] Going down, now!

[grunting, moaning]

[screaming]

Going down! Going down, now!

Whoa!

[straining]

Here I come, you hog bitch!

You hog bitch!

Dead end, girI. Dead end now.

Dead-end city.

Look at my face.

Look. Look!

It's Iike death eating a cracker, isn't it? Huh?

Huh?!

No!

Get away from her! Get away!

Don't touch her! No!

- Grandma! - [air escaping]

No!

Grandma! Grandma!

Grandma!

You kiIIed her, you hog bitch!

[both yeIIing]

[chainsaw starts]

Die!

[screaming]

[yeIIing]

[screaming hystericaIIy]

[chainsaw buzzing]

EngIish - US - PSDH