Original subtitles

# Life's too short

Pull it.

Harder.

Harder!

You're having a party?

You're having a party. It's Halloween.

I don't have a costume.

The three of us are going as Destiny's Child. I'm Bae.

No.

Don't worry, I got butt padding for you.

Yeah, I'm not doing blackface with you guys.

We're not changing our skin color.

I keep tellin' him we're gonna look like Wilson Phillips.

I've been waiting my whole life to have two friends

who love me enough to go as Destiny's Child.

And you're still waiting for that.

Ugh! You guys are so lame.

We could go as the three little pigs.

Daffyd said he'd lend me his tails.

I'd be down for like the Three Stooges.

or like the Three Amigos.

Oh, that's not cultural appropriation?

I don't think so?

Charlie's Angels.

Okay, the three bears.

Without a Goldilocks?

Huey Duey and Louie.

Guys!

Quit fighting, or I'm going as Cinderella

and you're gonna be the bitches who stole her shoe.

Did you even read...

How are we gonna afford this party?

We're gonna make money on this party.

The first three drinks are free.

The next three costs five bucks.

The seventh onward costs whatever you have in your wallet

'cause you're too shit-faced to count.

All right, well, I'm not really in the party mood.

You can blow up balloons.

I'm gonna go order booze.

I'm gonna buy the candy.

You actually gonna buy it this year,

or are you just gonna knock on people's doors again?

What's it to you?

- Oh, hi. - Gentlemen.

There you are.

So you lost all my money?

30 grand?

Yeah.

The developer went bankrupt.

Put the whole 30 down.

I was gonna raise another five to give to him

when it was done.

Instead of telling me, you stopped answering my texts

and taking my calls?

Sorry.

You ghosted me.

I just didn't know how to face you.

I thought, you know, if I saved up

or figured out a way to pay you back.

You don't have to pay me back.

- Of course I do. - No.

It was an investment, not a loan.

If your aunt makes money, then I make money.

If not, I lose.

I didn't give you money I couldn't afford to lose.

I didn't even make the app.

So?

If you manage to make your app at some point in the future,

then you can think about paying me back.

Until then, you don't owe me anything.

I was so freaked out.

Yeah, you made some really stupid mistakes.

You don't cash flow your supplier 90% up front;

you release installments when they deliver on milestones.

You didn't even research who you were giving your money to.

I shouldn't have trusted that guy.

And you don't ghost your friends.

You didn't deserve that.

Oh, I know.

Well, I came here to see if you were okay, and

I can see that you're fine.

I've been a complete mess.

I fucked up. I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Apologies don't really count when you've been

tracked down and stalked.

I'll leave you alone now.

Wait, hey, come on.

Shit.

Oh, hey Cupid.

We're Raphael's trio of putti.

What?

It was the only thing we could all agree on,

except the Andrews Sisters,

but it was too late to order the uniforms.

I would've come to this as Venus in a clamshell

had I only known.

I feel like my genius is pretty much lost

on this crowd anyway.

Yeah, you need better friends.

Or any friends, someone who loves me enough

to go as Kelly Rowland.

Hello?

Benny!

What are you doing here?

You invited me.

- I did? - Yeah.

Oh, that's right!

I sent a group message to everyone in my whole address book.

Oh, I should have guessed that.

Well, if I did have a guest list,

you totally would've been on it.

Yeah, I bet I would've.

I totally miss you.

What do you miss?

I miss that you take me to the best dinners

and you buy me the coolest clothes

and we talk about stuff.

Honestly, nobody else ever wants to listen to me.

You know what I miss?

I miss the way you fling yourself into my bed

like a giant threw you outta the sky.

I miss the way you make me laugh just by being wrong,

and I miss the way I pull back from a kiss

and see your crooked smile.

I'm gonna grab a drink.

First Costas and now Benny?

The ghosts of blowjobs past are haunting us this Halloween.

Is my smile crooked?

- Hey. - Hey.

Who are you?

It's me, Sarah.

Oh, okay.

Great party.

Thank you. I pride myself on being an excellent host.

So it's been a while.

Yeah, it has.

Sorry, I missed Bud's TikTok flash mob thing.

Yeah, it was really great.

I think you would've added a lot of verve to the number.

Well, you know, maybe the sequel.

Yeah.

Is everything okay?

You ever feel like you need to claw yourself

out of a hole?

When I was born.

After that?

Yeah, I mean, sometimes I think it's all a big hole.

Are you okay with that?

Well, I don't make the rules, right?

I'm just losing at the game.

Losing?

Yeah. I'm losing at everything.

I didn't finish my degree.

I haven't had a boyfriend for more than two months

since high school.

I work minimum wage plus tips I have to flirt to get.

I literally get $10 more in debt every week.

Damn, you really are a loser.

Yeah, but like

I'm not a sore loser.

I'll keep trying until I win at something.

Miss Congeniality.

Honestly, that's like higher than my expectations

at this point.

I don't need a crown.

What's going on in here?

Can I help you?

I just need my lipstick.

Mickey, you need a fresh coat?

No. You don't.

Disappointing, you two.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Is there anything that she wouldn't do?

I feel like no. That's definitely a short list.

That'll be $5.

Tipping is encouraged.

Hey! You wanna hit?

Sure.

Hi.

This is Gladdy and this is Clover.

Gladdy. Clover.

Benny's one of my oldest friends.

Very old.

We say distinguished and very handsome.

Oh. I don't want to interrupt anything.

You should stay and have a smoke with us.

Tab is always such a bad influence.

I know. He's the worst.

Ow!

The three of you gonna gang up on me?

- You wish. - Huh? Are you?

- Ah! - Are you?

Watch the bong!

Oh, I love this song.

You can go back out if you want.

No.

You can dance with me in here though.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah.

Come on.

You know, I've always wanted to dance with a giant baby.

Can't believe you haven't.

Ow!

It's telling you I'm a people person.

What you need? A good woman.

Oh!

Well, isn't it a little late for trick or treating?

Ah, you've been drinking. Come in.

Here you go.

You have anything to put in it?

Drink it up.

You'll feel a lot less sorry tomorrow.

So what brings you a-callin' in the middle of the night?

Everybody looked really happy

and I missed you.

Oh, you got drunk and you missed me.

I'm not drunk.

Unfortunately, you always seem to miss me the most

when you're not sober.

That's not true.

It's just, liquor makes me brave.

I always do a shot before I go on stage.

Well, that's gonna end well.

It's just, I wanted to do the right thing,

but I didn't do the right thing for me.

Bud, Bud, this is not the time or the place

for you to be probing the deepest recesses

of your subconscious.

It is though.

What the hell is going on here?

We have a visitor

from Tipsy Land.

Oh God. Bud, you okay?

I'm sorry. I'll be off.

No, Bud. Just sleep on the couch.

You're too drunk to go home.

I'm okay. I'm intruding.

Okay. Grab your vest.

Okay.

Goodnight.

Okay. Nighty night.

Bye.

- Night. - Goodnight.

Goodnight.

You know, I don't take booty calls.

How can this be a booty call if I never called?

Got me on a technicality.

And I suppose Cupid wouldn't make a booty call.

Do you have anything to drink?

Morning.

Bathroom's over there.

Thanks.

Midlife crisis?

It just keeps happening.

Yeah.

Beer jar is empty.

I think someone took the money.

Who was supposed to watch it?

That was fun, guys. See you around.

Bye, Gladdy.

Have you seen Bud?

# So give me one kiss goodbye

# Don't try to make me stay for awhile #

# Give me one kiss goodbye

# Shouldn't lie, won't come twice #

# Just give me one kiss goodbye #